1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:04,040 Hey guys, welcome chatters back to another episode. 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,360 Great to have you here. Welcome. 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,960 Before we get started, actually, I wanted to say to you guys, we 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,880 sent you an email. So please check your emails. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,880 There's a survey in there. Just we want to be hearing from 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,800 you about what we can do in these in these chatter episodes. 7 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,520 What are you actually here for? What would you like to get? 8 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,600 We want to grow, we want to do better. 9 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:27,880 We want to meet you where you're at, so please check your emails. 10 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,000 Yeah. And get back to go into that 11 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,200 survey. That'd be amazed. 12 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,720 Balls. Yeah, it would be so good. 13 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,680 Thank you. It might be in your spam. 14 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,000 That's one little know how I realised. 15 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,800 Yeah, because our email address is maybe looks a little bit 16 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,720 weird to. Yeah, some email inboxes to 17 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,440 check your spam if you haven't seen it come in yet. 18 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might actually put another 19 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,840 message up on our Patreon board anyway. 20 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,240 But most people don't check Patreon. 21 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,800 That's The thing is we they're usually check it like listen to 22 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,880 these episodes on Spotify or YouTube. 23 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,040 So anyway, but that's fine. I'll put it up there and see 24 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,040 where we go. We could look at exploring a 25 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,239 different communication platform for people that come on as 26 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,120 chatters, like a WhatsApp group or something like that. 27 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,280 Yeah, that's a good point for just discussions about the 28 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,440 episodes and reflections. On it, yeah. 29 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,520 Anyway, we want to hear that from you because if you don't 30 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,960 want that then we don't want to do that we want to put things in 31 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,480 place that you do want so let us know get onto that. 32 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,480 That'd be awesome anyway, on this episode we are going to be. 33 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,520 If you listen to the full episode, Amy ran us through a 34 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,040 reality check corner. Now, this is something that 35 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,360 we've really wanted to put into practise here that we don't just 36 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,640 come and share things or just bring information. 37 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,920 We actually want to be doing a lot of these exercises with you 38 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,080 on these chatter episodes. So we're going to be doing that 39 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,280 a lot today. And we brought up three 40 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,400 different areas of the reality check corner and this is 41 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,440 something we want to do semi regularly as well. 42 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,040 And so again, feedback, if this is something that was helpful 43 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,080 for you, we'd love to do that. But also we'd love for you to 44 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,160 write into like if you've sat down and gone through these 45 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,640 things, send them to us. It can be anonymous, that's 46 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,800 fine. Like we won't share that with 47 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,240 anyone if you don't want us to. Yeah, absolutely. 48 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,000 We just want to be seeing what you're doing and Bunny is just. 49 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,760 Funny what is going? On the action. 50 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,680 She's just like nudging me with her nose. 51 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,000 I'm wondering if she needs to go outside. 52 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,320 OK. Well I think she just wants 53 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:12,480 cuddles. OK, fun. 54 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,560 So we're gonna dive right into it. 55 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:19,240 So the first one in our reality check questions here or 56 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:24,320 challenges was no, you can't hop up on the that's the first 57 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,160 challenge is doing a recording a golden retriever. 58 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,040 The first one is the reflection prompt. 59 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,640 OK, so just reading these notes that we had here from the full, 60 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,240 full episode, think about your last three disagreements. 61 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,240 What's the common denominator in all of them? 62 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,760 What's the one thing you personally do that keeps them 63 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,320 loop these loops alive? Sit with that for a second. 64 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,360 So I'm going to start because I, I reflected on this in just 65 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:56,040 before and I reckon my 3:00 and it's it's hard to put like a top 66 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,000 three. I just did three, right? 67 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,200 So because I feel like I had more than three, So I just. 68 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,120 You talking about the last three disagreements? 69 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,840 What maybe that's what I did. Yeah, okay, I, I tried to look 70 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:12,200 through, I read that has three disagreements and like what's 3 71 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,520 denominators? But I don't know why I just read 72 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,920 that differently. But anyway, I come up with 73 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,440 three, I come up with three different things. 74 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,800 I'm going to say it anyway. Maybe that's one of that common 75 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,720 denominators is not looking for. No. 76 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,640 That's mine. But I was gonna say them anyway, 77 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:36,160 'cause now I'm, I'm prepped for this part is first one is pride 78 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,080 or defensiveness. First one is defensiveness. 79 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:43,280 Second one is I don't actually remember now, so lucky it didn't 80 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:48,000 work that way. Third one was, how do you say 81 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,440 it? Like was unmet expectations or 82 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,960 unrealistic expectations. So I would come to a like, I've, 83 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,360 I've done this to you a couple of times where I'll be like, 84 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,840 I'll, I'll be speaking to you and you brought it up in the 85 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,920 full episode actually, about how like you're working on something 86 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,520 and you expect your partner to work on it. 87 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,080 Like the phone thing, right? The phone thing is an example. 88 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,320 I've done that to you a couple of times where I, it might be 89 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,880 the phone thing, like social media, Like I've turned off most 90 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,960 of my social media on my phone. I don't really have social media 91 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,399 on my phone. I look over at you, I'm like 92 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,959 what you saw on social media, you know, I gotta have these 93 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:23,760 specific expectations that are realistic. 94 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,800 Like it's my thing that I'm working on and I've got the same 95 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,360 expectation for you, but you're a different journey on different 96 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,200 things. So that's my things. 97 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:37,440 And I think so both of those though, or all of them really 98 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,200 come down to I'm internally having a conversation for the 99 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,440 pride, I mean, or I'm for the pride. 100 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,640 I'm kind of like, I might be. So it's for the defensiveness 101 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,040 might be out of I don't really understand what's going on. 102 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,640 I don't really understand what we're out to in the conversation 103 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,800 because sometimes we get lost in the conversation and the 104 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,720 argument. I'm like, wait, where do we will 105 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,800 where do we start again? And so I'm having these 106 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,280 conversations in my head and I'm like, this isn't make sense 107 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,720 making sense to me. Are you trying to put this on 108 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,520 me? Like, and that's where I'll go 109 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,720 defensiveness. I'm like, like, you can't put 110 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,080 that on me because you struggle with this, this, this and this. 111 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,480 And then so, but it's that's separate from what we're 112 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,160 actually talking about. And then the unmet with 113 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,080 unrealistic expectations. It's a game. 114 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,480 It's these conversations that I'm having internally, but I 115 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,600 haven't voiced anything to you. Sometimes I haven't even voiced 116 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,160 that. I've not done social media or 117 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,160 something. I don't remember the last one, 118 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,000 but I'm just saying social media because that's one we have done 119 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,560 before. Yeah, yeah. 120 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,760 So they're the ones that's mainly internal conversations 121 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,760 that I'm having. Is it a common denominator? 122 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:44,640 Yeah, That leads to more things. I think that's accurate for me 123 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,800 as well. Internal and probably that's 124 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,000 maybe across the board. The internal stuff that we're 125 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,160 navigating plays into what how we navigate conversation. 126 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,000 I would definitely say defensiveness for me. 127 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,040 I'm going to do multiple because you did multiple. 128 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,560 But you know better. But now I like that 129 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,560 conversation, defensiveness. And probably before 130 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,840 defensiveness is I have this ongoing conversation about what 131 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,520 I think you're thinking about me all the time, even if you're not 132 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,200 like, like, whenever you're upset or something. 133 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,640 And I'm like, are you OK? Are you OK? 134 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,480 And then sometimes I'll be like, all right, are you mad at me? 135 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,600 Yeah. And the problem is sometimes you 136 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,240 are irritated but. It's actually like genuinely, 137 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,400 it's very rare in those times when you're asking me, are you 138 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,440 OK? Are you OK? 139 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,480 Are you mad at me? I'm like, what, what, what, 140 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,480 Where did that even come from? Like that's the majority of the 141 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,560 time. They're not getting annoyed at 142 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,760 you yet. Yeah, but I, so I have this 143 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,400 conversation going all the time of like, he doesn't think I'm 144 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,840 doing enough, he thinks I'm being lazy, he's disappointed 145 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,200 with my choices, he's mad at me. Like that sort of thing ticks 146 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,200 over. And so then that's why I'm like 147 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,080 hyper vigilant in how you're acting. 148 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,080 But then when you do bring something up, then my 149 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,440 defensiveness is like, there we go. 150 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,600 So like part of it is this internal conversation I've got 151 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,080 going. That's just me assuming assuming 152 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,960 things, assuming assuming ass things. 153 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,440 And then, and then that's reinforced by defensiveness 154 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,000 because I'm like, see, he does think this, this and this or 155 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,440 whatever, or the same thing that you just said, like you're 156 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,520 saying that about me. What about these things that 157 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,360 you're doing? And I do, I do really struggle 158 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,640 across the board with misunderstanding. 159 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,560 So if someone misunderstands me or misrepresents me, I really 160 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,640 struggle with that because I just, I'm like, because I used 161 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,560 to more than I do now. As we've been discussing about, 162 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,640 I used to put so much effort into how I talked and how I 163 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,560 acted around people and that my like a huge portion of my energy 164 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,240 was spent on making sure I didn't upset somebody. 165 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,800 That then when I did, when someone would raise something 166 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,600 with me, I was just like, you have no idea how like the 167 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,120 misrepresentation, sorry. I'd be like, you have no idea 168 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,640 how much effort I put into not doing these things or whatever, 169 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,680 which is just, that's a problem in itself. 170 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,080 So then when I feel misrepresented or if I feel 171 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,680 like, like it's inaccurately judged or something, I get 172 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,840 really defensive very quickly. I think defensiveness is, is a 173 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,720 really easy one because if you're not the one raising 174 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,640 something, you're kind of like la da, da, da, da. 175 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:05,000 And then someone raises it and you're just like, but if you're 176 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,760 the person raising it, you can think about what it is and what 177 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,600 you're thinking about. And that's why it's so important 178 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,960 to raise things carefully and to raise things in a way that you 179 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,640 want the other person to succeed because you're the one with the 180 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:19,560 power in that situation. Doesn't mean that you're what 181 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,520 you're raising is not appropriate or whatever, but 182 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,440 you're the one with the power because the other person is just 183 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,400 about to be blindsided. So you just have to be aware 184 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,120 that that's going to probably be a tense conversation. 185 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,960 But yeah, definitely defensiveness. 186 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,360 Definitely this internal conversation that I'm having 187 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,480 that plays into it. So one on there as well. 188 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,640 You, you wrote down like what's the one we can be doing about it 189 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,919 now? What's the first steps in it? 190 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,000 We'll get the next one, but either way, I'm gonna bring the 191 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:46,880 way. I'm gonna bring it up for this 192 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,720 one too. It's it's what's one thing you 193 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,400 personally do that keep them alive? 194 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:51,880 If that's that's part of the question. 195 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,600 Yeah, right. Well, I, yeah, OK, well, this 196 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,240 would still be relevant for that too, though. 197 00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:01,360 Is I brought something up with my boss the other day and I, I 198 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,120 addressed something when he mentioned it. 199 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,960 So I, I called him about something else. 200 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,000 He mentioned something and then I addressed that other thing 201 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,840 that he brought up, right? It wasn't the reason I was 202 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,440 calling for, but it was a, it was a, a bigger conversation. 203 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:18,240 And anyway, so he, he assumed that I was calling him actually 204 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,800 about this bigger thing. He's like, oh, well, you've just 205 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,000 got me so off guard. Like I'm just going straight 206 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,320 defensiveness because you've just got me so off guard. 207 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,840 I'm like, Oh, no, I actually genuinely wasn't calling about 208 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:31,080 that, but made me really and we had a good conversation about 209 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:34,480 it, but we were like, look, that's where it's important to 210 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,160 set up a meeting over that big topic. 211 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,480 Don't just bring it on the person because we naturally do 212 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,160 go defensive when we're not prepared and we feel caught off 213 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,320 guard and it's like like it feels like attack and we're like 214 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,120 defend, you know, like this straight away. 215 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,880 That was a big thing that I realised too. 216 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,240 And so in this in this scenario for me, I think that's pretty 217 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,080 much it. It's like I know that I can I 218 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,800 kind of like just go there, like I don't warm up. 219 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,760 I don't, you know, say, Hey, I really want to talk about 220 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,880 something. I don't prime it. 221 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:06,600 I'm just like there, like issue address it now and now these can 222 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,440 make you easily go defensiveness like straight away and like you 223 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,640 do that back for me. Like you bring up you you say I 224 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,600 don't even I want to talk to you about something, man. 225 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,520 Oh crap, here we go. But. 226 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,960 But at least it gives you. It gives me that little walk and 227 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:23,360 then in that moment I can work on, well, all right, I know I 228 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,560 get defensive, so I need to hear you out. 229 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,680 I need to be respectful for what you're saying. 230 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:31,080 And it gives me that buffer of going through this is how do I 231 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,760 want to respond? Even if I'm right or even if 232 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,960 she's wrong, Where do I naturally go with my thinking? 233 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,040 Where do I want to go with my thinking, All that sort of 234 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,760 stuff. It's like a 2 second thing and a 235 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,680 lot of things go in my head. But I think we've been talking 236 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,280 through this stuff for long enough now. 237 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,640 It's a lot faster for my plan to go through those steps. 238 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,720 Yeah, I think it, it shows as well that you're not just trying 239 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:57,120 to respond or, or even shows your body yourself that you're 240 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,920 not just trying to like react, respond, attack, criticise, 241 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,760 whatever. You're trying to be careful. 242 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,560 Even if the the way the conversation then plays out 243 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:09,480 afterwards, at least it's one indication that you're trying to 244 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,720 care for the other person in that process as well. 245 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,320 And yeah, I was just thinking that's a really good idea like 246 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:18,240 across the board to just if it's a big thing to just say, hey, I 247 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,400 actually really need to talk to you about the stuff you've been 248 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,640 doing around the house or, or I really need to talk about the 249 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,840 way we have been navigating the stuff going that we have to do 250 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,400 around the house. So can we have a conversation 251 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,080 about that later on? We put the kids down or 252 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,720 something like that? Or can we have a conversation 253 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,680 once I make a coffee or something that gives a little 254 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,960 bit of time? Isn't super like, I guess if I 255 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,400 came out and I was like, I really need to talk to you about 256 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,320 your attitude. Yeah, it's. 257 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,080 Probably still. Aren't. 258 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,400 You, it's probably still a little bit helpful cause at 259 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,880 least you've got a little bit of an agenda, but it's yeah. 260 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,160 But that's very tacky. I think I would still get 261 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,720 defensive, but if you. But then again, it's like, 262 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,640 alright, so you know, if you say to me, because this is what you 263 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,160 do, well, you say I need to have a conversation and you say, 264 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,840 well, I'm really struggling with XYZ, you know, and this is how 265 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,600 it makes me feel. And you go through from your 266 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,960 perspective. So I think it's very less like 267 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,360 like directed at me. Sometimes you, sometimes it goes 268 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,800 there. And that's where I think I'd 269 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,800 get, I'd get offensive. And I think that was again 270 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,320 through that hard time through selling the house and that 271 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,440 that's probably what. I didn't have as much time you. 272 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,880 Didn't have as much time exactly. 273 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,400 I think that's where then I got more defensive and and I was 274 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,480 more sensitive and all that sort of stuff was like, you didn't 275 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,720 prime me. It was the I mean, I need to 276 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,760 talk about this. This is it. 277 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,560 And I'm like, what? You know? 278 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,880 It's so funny though, because I'm, I'm intrigued by the fact 279 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:41,000 that you need that in return, but you don't naturally give it. 280 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,960 Yeah, that's interesting to me because I, yeah, I'm intrigued 281 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,320 by that. Well, I think everyone needs it. 282 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,240 I think everyone needs it and I don't. 283 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,360 I think it's a. Well, do you think everyone 284 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,920 needs it? I think some people that don't 285 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,680 don't mind. I feel like some people don't 286 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,440 mind if you're just like, I don't know, just like critical 287 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,000 back or I. Don't know how, I don't know 288 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,360 how. Again, this is not like, you 289 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,040 know, I'm not a professional in this space, but I don't know 290 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,360 how. So I'm trying to think through 291 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,040 people that I feel like could could fit into that category. 292 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,680 I still think there's an element where they're like, all right. 293 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,400 If you probably made that a little bit better, it'd. 294 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,640 Be it'd be better. It'd be better, like, it's not 295 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,640 like there's a need, but I think it's just a better approach. 296 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,480 It's just funny to me it like in genuinely curious that you your 297 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:26,160 natural is to be direct get to the point, but how you need to 298 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,000 receive it is so is so different. 299 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,960 I think this is something learned though, you know what I 300 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,920 mean? The receiving part, I think it's 301 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,560 been like, I know that I respond better if I pry myself, if I 302 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:39,200 walk through these things right. I think back in the day, 303 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,640 probably short like I might have been, it might have been 304 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,520 something that was better for me to just just hear it. 305 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,520 And that's what I think what we struggled with in the beginning 306 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,440 of our relationship. But over time, again, if I just 307 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,320 hear it, I just respond right. And then you, but you're not 308 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,720 ready for my like it's I am very blunt. 309 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,920 I was very blunt. So I was like, I matched forward 310 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,480 with, yeah, I'm actual energy. But I, I think it's down to how 311 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,800 you receive as well. And so it's a matter of, it's 312 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,440 not just a matter of how I receive, it's how I respond. 313 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,960 How I receive is going to dictate how I respond. 314 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,600 It's also to note as well, you do get it. 315 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,600 It isn't helpful for you if I'm too vague or if I'm too no, no, 316 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,960 no, no, beat around the Bush. Well. 317 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,120 That's not what I'm talking about. 318 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,000 I'm not talking about yeah. I'm just saying that's, that's 319 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,520 probably how that plays out on the flip side, like you don't. 320 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,720 Yeah. And I, I think probably for me, 321 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,400 I probably find it nicer when people beat around the Bush, 322 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,040 even though I know you're beating around the Bush. 323 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,160 You're not being like direct. But yeah, so that that might be 324 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,120 how that plays out for you is like, yes, I need you to prime 325 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,360 me, but I need it to be clear what you're saying. 326 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,480 Yeah, yeah. Some kind of wishy washy thing? 327 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,960 Now that one, great. So the next one was the simple 328 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,720 easy connection challenge for today. 329 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,320 Now I don't want to do this from in the moment, but I did take 330 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:57,800 some time before just sort of thinking through three thinking, 331 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,720 thinking through about you. Anyway, I saw in the hospital 332 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,240 recently, my work goes into the hospital sometimes. 333 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,200 I saw in the hospital recently, there was this poster on the 334 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:11,320 wall and it was talking about it was a it was a poster, an image 335 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:15,000 of a nurse, right? And on that on the word just 336 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,400 said, hi, I'm Susie or whatever it was. 337 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:22,320 I like photography, walking my dog and I like beaches. 338 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:27,480 We're more than just a nurse and talking about I think that from, 339 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,960 you know, this violence and stuff towards yeah, aggression 340 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:35,240 towards us and humanises. So it's like I think this is 341 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,040 something that's powerful about this what you're talking what 342 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,600 you brought up in the full episode, this exercise. 343 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,600 Now we're humanising people and especially if we're really 344 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,880 struggling with them, remembering through You're more 345 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,200 than Amy. If it makes sense. 346 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,800 Like your name? What I see? 347 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,880 Wife even. Yeah. 348 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:56,160 Wife like there's there's you're more than mom, you're like, So 349 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,120 what do you enjoy? And I was really bringing 350 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,840 through like trying to think through that. 351 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,360 I'm like, Oh, you love creativity. 352 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,440 I was going to say like social media, but it's like what I've 353 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,720 learned about you, It's you don't love one thing. 354 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,360 You love creativity, you love growing things. 355 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,720 But if you just, if you were to nail that down into photography 356 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,920 or social, you, it wouldn't, it wouldn't hit the mark. 357 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,680 It'd be like, no, you'd get over that very quickly. 358 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,920 It's the creative aspect of it and the growing aspect. 359 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,040 And that's something that I love about you is you are a Unicorn. 360 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,880 You are, you love giving things a go. 361 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,040 The other thing too is again, like, so you're more than mum, 362 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,640 but I love the way that you do mother. 363 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,760 Like, I love the way that you, you're, you are patient with the 364 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,440 kids and I can tell like, and this isn't something to put on 365 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,240 you because this is my, my thing I need to work through. 366 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,920 But this is a team. We're we're A-Team. 367 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:55,640 I find it so much easier when you're I love when you're calm 368 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,960 when I'm stressed because I, it helps me to match your energy 369 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,840 rather than, you know, we're both stressed and we're just 370 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,240 frustrated, but I feel like you're someone that I can do 371 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,599 that with. Like it's so that for me, I love 372 00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:09,240 you in that space because I'm like, I can breathe, like Amy's 373 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,560 calm here. I can be calm. 374 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,079 That's not to put on your your shoulders, and I know that can 375 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:14,359 easily be put onto your shoulders. 376 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:17,079 And I just have to be calm. Just be calm every single time 377 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,160 and then that's fine. So not put it on you, but just 378 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,200 do it. So that's something I really 379 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:22,640 love. What was the actual question? 380 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,280 So it's just to look and pause. Pause for six seconds and look 381 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,560 at your partner without saying anything, without checking your 382 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,920 phone, etcetera. Look at them like you're really 383 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:33,280 seeing them, like they're not just your spouse or Co parent, 384 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,400 but people with dreams, struggles, and a life outside 385 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,200 you. And let those 6 seconds remind 386 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,560 you why you're with them. So me writing things in my head, 387 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,800 writing things down helps that exercise because I could look at 388 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:50,040 you and then I'm like, cool. But if I think through a bit, I 389 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,360 have to go to that thinking level. 390 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,320 I want to write things down, like in my head, mentally write 391 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:59,360 things down about you and help me to just see a much bigger 392 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,960 personality view or who what makes you like, you know, even 393 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,960 thinking back to you when I first met you and your smile, 394 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,440 like that's just something that's ingrained into my head. 395 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,520 Like that's the thing that just captured my attention straight 396 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,400 away. I think back at that moment, I 397 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,120 think back to our honeymoon. I think back to, well, in the 398 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:17,440 hospital, we're having our kids, like those sorts of things, and 399 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,080 these special moments was where I really tried to focus on. 400 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,920 Yeah, it's nice. What'd you do? 401 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,440 I did this last night while you were playing your game on the 402 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,080 bed and it was really interesting. 403 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,080 You know how like if you're like kind of blurry eyed and then you 404 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,240 suddenly focus in on something and it kind of it like a just 405 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,040 like a camera lens. It was kind of like that or like 406 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:41,000 when you just like almost like making it big picture. 407 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,520 All of a sudden I was just watching you and I was thinking 408 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,840 about the things that make you who you are. 409 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:51,240 And I was like, it's so interesting how we really do 410 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,640 become, we really easily put people in boxes. 411 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:59,200 And I was just spending time thinking about your, your brain 412 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,680 and how you work. And even when you're playing 413 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,120 your game, like you are very good at your game and you get 414 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,520 very interested in it and you learn about it and stuff and you 415 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,760 lead in that space. And I know it's just a game, but 416 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,320 it's important to you. And so I was thinking about how 417 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,960 you're just so naturally that way, even on your computer game, 418 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,120 and it was cool. And I was also thinking about 419 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:21,200 how Tom is interesting on Sorry, Blaze Boss was talking on a 420 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,840 meeting recently about how they were up in Rockhampton for 421 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:24,960 something and it was cool to watch. 422 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,600 You just lead that little interaction that you had with 423 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,880 some clients or that's that's enough detail for you guys. 424 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,160 It doesn't make any stakeholders. 425 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,160 Stakeholders. Yeah. 426 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,000 And just watching you talk about it and that he could kind of sit 427 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,000 back and and you just took it. And I was like, damn, it would 428 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,560 have been really nice to see that guy. 429 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,200 I know that you do. Well, this stuff. 430 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,920 I always have known that even before you got this job like 431 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,480 that, I was part of the person being like, Blair's really good 432 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,640 at this stuff. And so I know you're good at it 433 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,200 and I hear what you're doing, but just hearing someone else 434 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,880 reflect on how good it was to watch, you just own that space. 435 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,800 I was like, I wish I could just watch that. 436 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,280 And I do watch it from from a distance, inverted Labour. 437 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,680 I think it was a really cool exercise because it is very easy 438 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,480 to get. It's not like I sweep you into 439 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,880 any kind of. I don't know, like it's just 440 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:17,280 like we exist together. It's not, it's not that you 441 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,520 become a certain person, you're not in my brain. 442 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240 It's just that I don't spend much time like looking at you 443 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,760 and just being like, hello. We just kind of exist in our 444 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,120 routines are so like we're so dependent on our routines with 445 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,280 the kids and stuff like that, that it's not easy to find that 446 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,840 space. Even on date nights we struggle, 447 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,760 like we go out and we struggle for the first hour, something to 448 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,480 really like just be with each other and then finally, and then 449 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,400 it's always really lovely when we get that time. 450 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,160 So I thought it was a really special experience. 451 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,360 Exercise. Nice. 452 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,640 It's funny to me that you had to write stuff down mentally. 453 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,560 Yeah. And I had to actually just look. 454 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,400 I needed to look at you and do that. 455 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,520 Yeah, Right. And look like a creep on the. 456 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,520 Bed. Yeah, I was busy. 457 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,120 I was from the last one here. The future pace exercise. 458 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,440 Quick and not awkward. Imagine that in six months your 459 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,600 communication has completely transformed. 460 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,920 When you talk, you both feel seen, understood and respected. 461 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,800 How does that change your day to day relationship? 462 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,400 Now ask yourself, what's 1A small thing you can start doing 463 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,880 today to move, to move toward that future that. 464 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,320 You read the future pace exercise quick and not awkward 465 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,000 because that's my note to myself. 466 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,520 Now you guys know it's quick and not awkward. 467 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,560 So this, this is something that you just, it's really helpful to 468 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,560 feel the feelings of where you want to go. 469 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,760 And we don't do that very often in life. 470 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:44,080 It's a huge tool in coaching because if people want to move 471 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,840 towards a goal or achieve a certain thing, an outcome or 472 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:51,920 whatever, if you are just kind of not really sure what it's 473 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,040 going to feel like or what it's going to look like, you're never 474 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,480 going to get there. That's that's not an effective 475 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,920 way of navigating. And they talk about how sports, 476 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:03,880 like golfers, for example, sportsmen, they spend time 477 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:08,240 thinking about feeling like preparing themselves, what it 478 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,560 would feel like to make the perfect hit or whatever you call 479 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,640 it in golf. And they literally visualise 480 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,080 that like that's what they do in those seconds before they are 481 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,600 doing their shot. I just feel like like. 482 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:26,280 I had no golf enough either. Anyway, because you're like so 483 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,880 much more likely to make the goal. 484 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,200 I know it's not a goal if you have visualised where you're 485 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,480 going and you know what that feels like and you know, because 486 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,560 even your muscles with singing, sorry, I'm going on a bit of a 487 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,560 tangent here, but with singing, if you visualise the sound 488 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,760 without making a sound, there's a way to rehearse. 489 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,920 If you can't for some reason make noise, you can actually 490 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,800 just visualise and like picture making that sound and your vocal 491 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,000 cords will adjust to it. So even though you're not making 492 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,840 a noise, it's actually an effective way to rehearse or get 493 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,240 a key. If you're like, you can catch 494 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,080 the key in your brain, Yeah, like get ready for it. 495 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,680 But if you have to come straight out on something. 496 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:05,400 So anyway, all of these things are why visualising, picturing, 497 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,680 like embodying the feeling of what you're working towards is a 498 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,320 helpful thing because it helps you stay on track with that. 499 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,480 And so this exercise is to do that you, you have a goal in 500 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,120 whatever it is you're, you're pacing yourself for there. 501 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,840 So your future pacing, your future pacing, what you want 502 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,360 your communication to look like, what you want your relationship 503 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:26,440 to be in six months time after you've worked really hard on 504 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,160 this. And so you're picturing what 505 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,720 that feels like, how you interact, what it would look 506 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,640 like, how it would change the family dynamics, literally how 507 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,520 you would walk past each other in a hallway, how you would tell 508 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,360 each other about your day. Like you're picturing all those 509 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:42,280 details to feel them in your body now so that it can help you 510 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,360 and your body now in achieving those things. 511 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,320 So yeah, I think I haven't actually done this exercise. 512 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,160 Well, this is like where I think for us, we're going to change a 513 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,880 little bit here because this podcast was definitely one of 514 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,040 those things, yeah, one of those steps to help us in this 515 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,440 direction. The next step of that for us has 516 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,480 been this literal episode. So this corner, what is? 517 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,880 It reality check. Reality check, yeah, I shouldn't 518 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,880 know what the name is, but that's the next. 519 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,320 That's, that's step #2 for us actually, because so we've been 520 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,840 doing this podcast now for a little bit and we're, you know, 521 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,800 been getting, learning a lot from and having a lot of common 522 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,160 conversations, but now we're actually applying those 523 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,400 conversations. So that's what this is. 524 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,120 That's why we're not cheating because this is how we're being 525 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:25,640 intentional with it. But we don't have a Step 3 526 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,480 because we're just introducing Step 2. 527 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,000 We do, we do have to do this sometimes to like even when 528 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,800 we're getting ready to start season 2. 529 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,480 I think it was a bit like I was a bit just not there mentally, 530 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,240 but we really had to kind of picture where we wanted to go 531 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,760 and then make it happen. And this actually, I was I was 532 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,720 picturing, I don't know if it was because of this or just as 533 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,080 my brain what I want the podcast to be like, what we really want. 534 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,160 I'm not even gonna say the podcast to be what we want. 535 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:54,720 Honey, we need to chat to be and like my goal or our goal is that 536 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,920 we will be having regular retreats with couples that want 537 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,120 to like spend however long a weekend, four days, whatever, 538 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,880 intentionally putting effort into strengthening their 539 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,920 relationship, turning things around and coming out of that 540 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,280 retreat stronger. Like that's, that would be my 541 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,040 goal. Like I would love for us to have 542 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,360 that as a part of a regular part of what we're doing here in this 543 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:17,000 community. And that like I was playing that 544 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,120 back of where that starts. And I think that's the reality 545 00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:20,360 check corner is where that starts. 546 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:24,560 Like we start to actually see people having real life change 547 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,160 in their relationships. And part of that is us being 548 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,960 willing to challenge a bit more firmly and a bit more like 549 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,120 practically than we have been. Yeah. 550 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,760 And challenge ourselves and challenge ourselves in stepping 551 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,640 out in that space. And you guys are a part of that 552 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,720 with with the feedback and with being in this community 553 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,480 supporting us here. That's a huge part of that. 554 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,960 So we really appreciate that. Awesome, but this is the end of 555 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,760 today's episode. Thank you so much for doing 556 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,360 this. Don't forget to check out the 557 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,840 survey in your emails. Yes, check them out. 558 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,440 We'd love to hear from you guys, yes. 559 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,280 Thanks guys, good chat.