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Welcome chatters. 
Welcome to another episode. 

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And welcome Blair to your 
coaching session. 

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Thank you. 
We need, we need spa music right

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now. 
I can do that. 

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So if you listened, which you 
should have, to the full episode

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just now, our chitchat, we 
discussed some concepts that 

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might be helpful in terms of 
getting the results you want in 

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life. 
And so we thought it would be 

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cool to work through an actual 
coaching session with Blair. 

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Yes. 
Yes to it. 

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So this is actually legit. 
Like I'd actually, I don't know 

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what Amy's gonna be doing like 
other than the brief thing that 

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you mentioned in the earlier 
episode. 

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But I'm really excited because I
would love to bring this to you 

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guys a little bit more. 
So if you've got specific 

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coaching questions, please send 
them in and we'll see what we 

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can do. 
All right, so Blair, welcome to 

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this chat today. 
Thank you. 

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I just want to remind you that 
this it's confidential and only 

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the people that pay money will 
be here. 

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Pimping out the. 
Stuff pimping out your stuff. 

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We're going to start by just 
saying what what causes you to 

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want to do coaching today? 
I've been forced to by my wife. 

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Yeah, for content. 
Great. 

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And how do you feel about that 
process? 

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Used and abused and excited. 
What do you want from your 

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coaching? 
I genuinely if if being serious,

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I want to learn more. 
I want to be able to learn how 

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to grow, where to grow, and the 
process of growing. 

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Yeah, cool. 
I love that. 

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Well, we're going to run through
the short introductory coaching 

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session that is part of the 
programme, the 12 step programme

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that I have become a Level 2 
certified coach in. 

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So this is just kind of a brief 
overview of what it might look 

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like in a session. 
All right, so we are who we are 

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today because of all the events 
that have shaped us as we've 

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grown, all of our experiences in
our past. 

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What are three key experiences 
that you remember clearly that 

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are probably highly emotional 
and have had a major impact on 

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your life? 
I won't share all of these on 

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this podcast, but you know. 
These. 

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Sorry, chatters, it's just some 
of these are, if it gets it 

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doesn't, it's not just my 
information. 

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And that's probably why I won't 
share it here. 

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So there's the first one that, 
you know, I think moving out of 

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home when I was 16 and becoming 
a Christian when I was nearly 

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19. 
Yeah. 

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What are some feelings that you 
access day to day recently? 

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These questions will sound 
disjointed, just FYI. 

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Why? 
This part of the process. 

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Can you elaborate? 
Like what do you mean? 

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Like what? 
What feelings? 

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What regular feelings do I have?
Yeah. 

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So what are some regular 
feelings that you've been 

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accessing day to day? 
So it could be I feel joyful 

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most days, or I feel 
overwhelmed, or I feel just 

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depressed. 
I feel busy in my head most 

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days. 
What does busy feel like to you?

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Sort of like a headache, but 
it's not an ache. 

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It's more of a pressure. 
Yeah. 

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In my head, just constant 
thoughts going around of 

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planning and strategizing and, 
you know, family stuff, work 

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stuff, whatever else. 
Everything in between. 

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It feels. 
Feels busy is the word. 

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Like that's just words. 
When I think of the feeling, it 

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feels busy, yeah. 
Cool. 

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And another one I'm. 
Trying to think of them 

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frustrated. 
I feel either about myself or 

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with the kids or with work. 
So there's busyness. 

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But then when things don't go, 
feel like I struggle with a bit 

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of controlling. 
So with work, you know, I'm I'm 

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responsible for a lot, so I'm 
in. 

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When I'm not in control of the 
things I'm responsible football 

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for, I get frustrated and really
irritated with the kids. 

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Like there's a constant learning
with the kids at this stage 

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without dog, it's it's constant 
learning because she's a puppy 

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still. 
So it's quite a big sense of 

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frustration or stress or 
overwhelmness sort of wrapped 

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up. 
Maybe frustration is just part 

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of the overwhelmness. 
Maybe overwhelmness is probably 

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a better way of saying it. 
I don't know how to explain it, 

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but it's like the word desire 
comes up. 

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I don't know what feeling that 
is though. 

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But it's like this desire or 
this drive, I guess, to, to grow

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as a dad, as a worker, as a 
husband, as a man, you know, to 

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a drive to get better in my 
work, a drive to be better dad, 

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a drive to be better husband, a 
drive to be better at 

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socialising with people, you 
know, a drive to be better. 

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You know, in my faith, all these
I I just have a drive. 

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Is the driver positive? 
Drive it. 

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Depends. 
It depends on what's going on 

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because like if it's a drive 
outside of the overwhelmness, 

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it's positive If it's inside the
overwhelmness, because it's 

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like, you know, if I react a 
certain way to the kids or, or 

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to a Co worker or something, I 
then get frustrated with myself.

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And so I have this drive there 
still, but it's a negative 

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drive, yeah. 
Thank you for sharing. 

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You're welcome. 
What feelings would you like to 

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feel more of on a day to day 
basis? 

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Peace. 
Mm. 

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Hmm. 
Joy, which I think is probably 

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wrapped up. 
Yeah. 

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In control. 
Yeah. 

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Of emotions and productivity and
whatever else. 

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I wonder if there's a better 
emotion for that than the word 

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in control. 
So you wanna feel in control of 

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your productivity? 
Yeah, most of maybe, maybe 

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productive might be I I just 
wanna feel productive. 

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I want to feel, you know, peace,
productivity, and confident in 

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my parenting. 
Awesome. 

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When you think of your life in 
general, which of these things 

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are you most skilled at? 
One, starting things, two, 

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maintaining things, and three, 
finishing things. 

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There needs to be one in between
there somewhere. 

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I'm not great. 
I can I think starting things, 

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but I feel like there's one. 
There needs to be one in between

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starting things and maintaining 
things. 

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So where I'm skilled at is like 
if someones got an idea, I make 

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their idea happen, but I'm not 
good at maintaining their idea. 

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That makes sense. 
So I'm really good at that 

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middle part between those two. 
But if I had to pick one of 

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those three, I'd say starting 
things. 

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OK. 
So then on the flip side of 

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that, which of these things are 
you least skilled in? 

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Starting things, maintaining 
things, or finishing finishings.

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Yeah, for sure. 
So what is it that you are not 

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having in that space that you 
think you need to have? 

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In finishing, I think the 
feeling of completing something 

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just like I've accomplishing 
something, Yeah. 

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And I think that'll probably 
wrap down to my productivity is 

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like for me to feel productive, 
it there needs to be a finish to

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something because otherwise, 
like, what have I? 

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I've just started a bunch of 
things, but I haven't actually 

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finished anything. 
Yeah. 

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So yeah. 
So it might be working in 

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conflict with your the thing, 
the feelings that you're 

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striving for. 
Yeah. 

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If life could be exactly the way
you want it to be, where would 

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you be in two years time? 
Exactly the way I wanted it to. 

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Be Yep, with no restrictions on 
it. 

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Like not even just just in life 
in general. 

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Yep. 
I would want to be the GM 

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general manager of my of the 
organisation I work for. 

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I would want us to be in a a 
different house. 

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This is very cramped for six 
people. 

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I would want this podcast to be 
big contribution to our careers 

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and your coaching to be wrapped 
in on that. 

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And we have, we have established
good traditions and intentional 

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moments like retreats or 
holidays or whatever as a family

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like we, we've established some 
really good habits to spend 

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quality time together as a 
family. 

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So what are you seeing in this 
new life? 

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So I'm seeing us, I'm seeing us 
in a different house without 

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kids around and where where I've
just sort of finished work and 

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been a good day. 
It's a different, it's a 

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different sort of work though. 
Like it's, it's same 

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organisation, but just different
work. 

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And so I'm kind of taking my my 
tie off. 

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It's like that's sort of a 
level. 

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And yeah. 
And we and the kids are all 

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there and we're, it's like, OK, 
this is the time that we've, 

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this is now I'm entering into 
this time, which is a family 

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time. 
So it's like, that's what I'm. 

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It's more of a, the feeling is 
like, this is what we do. 

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Yeah. 
It's not like this random like, 

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oh, that just finished work. 
Now everyone's watching TV. 

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It's like, no, no, no. 
Now I'm entering into this 

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specific intentional time as a 
family. 

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Yeah. 
What are you hearing? 

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A baby cry. 
Other than that, in this in this

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two years from now, please don't
make it be a baby cry. 

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No. 
Baby sorted. 

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Babe snorted. 
I hear jazz music and like just 

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laughter and yeah, that's what I
hear. 

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I love that. 
I kind of, I hear actually, I 

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hear food cooking like, you 
know, like a like a bubbling. 

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Bubbling like yeah. 
And what are you saying to 

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yourself? 
Saying to myself, who's hungry? 

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I guess I was saying I'd say 
everyone else like I was. 

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I sort of walked out and it was 
just like I. 

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Was hungry. 
But I like, I, I feel like right

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now, even saying this, I feel 
peace, which is awesome and just

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this excitement of just like, oh
man, this would be so nice. 

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I think I'm I'm saying that to 
myself like this. 

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This is nice. 
And what have you achieved? 

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In this moment, I've achieved 
bringing piece to the house. 

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Mm Hmm. 
It feels weird saying it out 

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loud, like it feels like silly, 
no? 

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Almost. 
Yeah, I know, I know it feels 

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silly, but it doesn't sound 
silly. 

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Yeah, but it that's, that's just
what I I feel. 

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Yeah. 
How crazy is it how that impacts

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your actual feelings right now? 
Yeah, so. 

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It's so weird, 'cause like I now
just thinking through it, I'm 

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like, I want that. 
I so want that, yeah. 

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So that's the end of the 
introduction session that we run

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within this 12 week course. 
But it's, it's a really good 

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kind of introduction to how to 
start kind of assessing for 

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yourself where you want to be, 
because we do just float through

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life not really knowing. 
And I think sometimes people are

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really good at having a like a 
direction, a strategy, a vision 

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that they're working towards. 
But I think also a lot of times 

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we're not. 
And like we talked about in the 

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first episode, the big episode, 
if you focus on what you don't 

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want, which I think is kind of 
an easier thing to do, doesn't 

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actually help you get to where 
you do want. 

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If you can do this kind of 
activity where you sit there and

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you're not just like, yeah, I'd 
like to be in a bigger house in 

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three years time. 
You're like, what house do I 

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want to be in? 
What do I want it to look like? 

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What do I want the house to be 
giving us? 

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What do I want to hear, what I 
want to feel in that space and 

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really get so clear on what you 
want. 

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Then you have a vision to work 
towards and you can, you're 

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actually another thing that 
follows a session like this a 

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lot of the time is something 
called a future pace where you, 

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you sit there and you visualise 
kind of what we've just done. 

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And you, you really just like 
step out a month in advance at 

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12 months in advance, three 
years in advance. 

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And you picture where you want 
to be. 

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And then you actually borrow 
from those future times, the 

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feelings that you want and it 
actually shifts how you're 

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feeling inside. 
So it's a really fun and I think

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really powerful exercise to do, 
yeah. 

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That was good. 
Yeah. 

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And so we can work through some 
other coaching stuff on these 

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chatter episodes as we go. 
But I think just for you guys, 

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if this is something that you 
want to do as a couple, if you 

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want to sit there and just like 
have a have a strategy night 

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like we spoke about and get 
super clear about what you want 

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in your relationship, these are 
some questions that you can work

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through as well. 
Like just that kind of thing. 

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Like what are you feeling on a 
day to day basis? 

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What do you want to feel on a 
day to day basis? 

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And make sure you're getting 
down to actual emotions. 

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Not, not just like I'm, I'm 
organised, I'm I'm busy. 

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Like there's an emotion that 
sits behind that. 

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So just dig a little bit in that
conversation. 

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What are you feeling? 
What do you want to feel when 

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you think about life? 
What are you, what are you 

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struggling the most with? 
Or what are you doing really 

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well in what do you want your 
life to look like in three years

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time? 
What do you want to hear? 

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What do you want to feel? 
What, who do you want to be 

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there? 
What do you want to be seeing? 

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That kind of thing. 
And just borrow some of that 

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those emotions to actually help 
you as a couple. 

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Now establish that foundation 
for in the direction that you're

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working towards. 
Can be a really good date night 

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activity I reckon. 
Absolutely. 

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That was massive. 
I think, again, it's just like 

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it's still just sticking in my 
head. 

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I'm like, all right, man. 
Like what do I need to do to get

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that? 
Yeah, do I need to do? 

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Who do I need to be? 
Who do you need to be? 

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00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,840
Yeah, exactly. 
Absolutely. 

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Cool. 
Well, thank you for joining me 

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in this session today. 
Thank you for coaching me. 

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And just a reminder that this is
confidential. 

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I'll pay you later, yeah. 
That's I will with my body 

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listening to this. 
Kill. 

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Thanks guys. 
Good chat.