Welcome chatters. Welcome to another episode.
And welcome Blair to your coaching session.
Thank you. We need, we need spa music right
now. I can do that.
So if you listened, which you should have, to the full episode
just now, our chitchat, we discussed some concepts that
might be helpful in terms of getting the results you want in
life. And so we thought it would be
cool to work through an actual coaching session with Blair.
Yes. Yes to it.
So this is actually legit. Like I'd actually, I don't know
what Amy's gonna be doing like other than the brief thing that
you mentioned in the earlier episode.
But I'm really excited because I would love to bring this to you
guys a little bit more. So if you've got specific
coaching questions, please send them in and we'll see what we
can do. All right, so Blair, welcome to
this chat today. Thank you.
I just want to remind you that this it's confidential and only
the people that pay money will be here.
Pimping out the. Stuff pimping out your stuff.
We're going to start by just saying what what causes you to
want to do coaching today? I've been forced to by my wife.
Yeah, for content. Great.
And how do you feel about that process?
Used and abused and excited. What do you want from your
coaching? I genuinely if if being serious,
I want to learn more. I want to be able to learn how
to grow, where to grow, and the process of growing.
Yeah, cool. I love that.
Well, we're going to run through the short introductory coaching
session that is part of the programme, the 12 step programme
that I have become a Level 2 certified coach in.
So this is just kind of a brief overview of what it might look
like in a session. All right, so we are who we are
today because of all the events that have shaped us as we've
grown, all of our experiences in our past.
What are three key experiences that you remember clearly that
are probably highly emotional and have had a major impact on
your life? I won't share all of these on
this podcast, but you know. These.
Sorry, chatters, it's just some of these are, if it gets it
doesn't, it's not just my information.
And that's probably why I won't share it here.
So there's the first one that, you know, I think moving out of
home when I was 16 and becoming a Christian when I was nearly
19. Yeah.
What are some feelings that you access day to day recently?
These questions will sound disjointed, just FYI.
Why? This part of the process.
Can you elaborate? Like what do you mean?
Like what? What feelings?
What regular feelings do I have? Yeah.
So what are some regular feelings that you've been
accessing day to day? So it could be I feel joyful
most days, or I feel overwhelmed, or I feel just
depressed. I feel busy in my head most
days. What does busy feel like to you?
Sort of like a headache, but it's not an ache.
It's more of a pressure. Yeah.
In my head, just constant thoughts going around of
planning and strategizing and, you know, family stuff, work
stuff, whatever else. Everything in between.
It feels. Feels busy is the word.
Like that's just words. When I think of the feeling, it
feels busy, yeah. Cool.
And another one I'm. Trying to think of them
frustrated. I feel either about myself or
with the kids or with work. So there's busyness.
But then when things don't go, feel like I struggle with a bit
of controlling. So with work, you know, I'm I'm
responsible for a lot, so I'm in.
When I'm not in control of the things I'm responsible football
for, I get frustrated and really irritated with the kids.
Like there's a constant learning with the kids at this stage
without dog, it's it's constant learning because she's a puppy
still. So it's quite a big sense of
frustration or stress or overwhelmness sort of wrapped
up. Maybe frustration is just part
of the overwhelmness. Maybe overwhelmness is probably
a better way of saying it. I don't know how to explain it,
but it's like the word desire comes up.
I don't know what feeling that is though.
But it's like this desire or this drive, I guess, to, to grow
as a dad, as a worker, as a husband, as a man, you know, to
a drive to get better in my work, a drive to be better dad,
a drive to be better husband, a drive to be better at
socialising with people, you know, a drive to be better.
You know, in my faith, all these I I just have a drive.
Is the driver positive? Drive it.
Depends. It depends on what's going on
because like if it's a drive outside of the overwhelmness,
it's positive If it's inside the overwhelmness, because it's
like, you know, if I react a certain way to the kids or, or
to a Co worker or something, I then get frustrated with myself.
And so I have this drive there still, but it's a negative
drive, yeah. Thank you for sharing.
You're welcome. What feelings would you like to
feel more of on a day to day basis?
Peace. Mm.
Hmm. Joy, which I think is probably
wrapped up. Yeah.
In control. Yeah.
Of emotions and productivity and whatever else.
I wonder if there's a better emotion for that than the word
in control. So you wanna feel in control of
your productivity? Yeah, most of maybe, maybe
productive might be I I just wanna feel productive.
I want to feel, you know, peace, productivity, and confident in
my parenting. Awesome.
When you think of your life in general, which of these things
are you most skilled at? One, starting things, two,
maintaining things, and three, finishing things.
There needs to be one in between there somewhere.
I'm not great. I can I think starting things,
but I feel like there's one. There needs to be one in between
starting things and maintaining things.
So where I'm skilled at is like if someones got an idea, I make
their idea happen, but I'm not good at maintaining their idea.
That makes sense. So I'm really good at that
middle part between those two. But if I had to pick one of
those three, I'd say starting things.
OK. So then on the flip side of
that, which of these things are you least skilled in?
Starting things, maintaining things, or finishing finishings.
Yeah, for sure. So what is it that you are not
having in that space that you think you need to have?
In finishing, I think the feeling of completing something
just like I've accomplishing something, Yeah.
And I think that'll probably wrap down to my productivity is
like for me to feel productive, it there needs to be a finish to
something because otherwise, like, what have I?
I've just started a bunch of things, but I haven't actually
finished anything. Yeah.
So yeah. So it might be working in
conflict with your the thing, the feelings that you're
striving for. Yeah.
If life could be exactly the way you want it to be, where would
you be in two years time? Exactly the way I wanted it to.
Be Yep, with no restrictions on it.
Like not even just just in life in general.
Yep. I would want to be the GM
general manager of my of the organisation I work for.
I would want us to be in a a different house.
This is very cramped for six people.
I would want this podcast to be big contribution to our careers
and your coaching to be wrapped in on that.
And we have, we have established good traditions and intentional
moments like retreats or holidays or whatever as a family
like we, we've established some really good habits to spend
quality time together as a family.
So what are you seeing in this new life?
So I'm seeing us, I'm seeing us in a different house without
kids around and where where I've just sort of finished work and
been a good day. It's a different, it's a
different sort of work though. Like it's, it's same
organisation, but just different work.
And so I'm kind of taking my my tie off.
It's like that's sort of a level.
And yeah. And we and the kids are all
there and we're, it's like, OK, this is the time that we've,
this is now I'm entering into this time, which is a family
time. So it's like, that's what I'm.
It's more of a, the feeling is like, this is what we do.
Yeah. It's not like this random like,
oh, that just finished work. Now everyone's watching TV.
It's like, no, no, no. Now I'm entering into this
specific intentional time as a family.
Yeah. What are you hearing?
A baby cry. Other than that, in this in this
two years from now, please don't make it be a baby cry.
No. Baby sorted.
Babe snorted. I hear jazz music and like just
laughter and yeah, that's what I hear.
I love that. I kind of, I hear actually, I
hear food cooking like, you know, like a like a bubbling.
Bubbling like yeah. And what are you saying to
yourself? Saying to myself, who's hungry?
I guess I was saying I'd say everyone else like I was.
I sort of walked out and it was just like I.
Was hungry. But I like, I, I feel like right
now, even saying this, I feel peace, which is awesome and just
this excitement of just like, oh man, this would be so nice.
I think I'm I'm saying that to myself like this.
This is nice. And what have you achieved?
In this moment, I've achieved bringing piece to the house.
Mm Hmm. It feels weird saying it out
loud, like it feels like silly, no?
Almost. Yeah, I know, I know it feels
silly, but it doesn't sound silly.
Yeah, but it that's, that's just what I I feel.
Yeah. How crazy is it how that impacts
your actual feelings right now? Yeah, so.
It's so weird, 'cause like I now just thinking through it, I'm
like, I want that. I so want that, yeah.
So that's the end of the introduction session that we run
within this 12 week course. But it's, it's a really good
kind of introduction to how to start kind of assessing for
yourself where you want to be, because we do just float through
life not really knowing. And I think sometimes people are
really good at having a like a direction, a strategy, a vision
that they're working towards. But I think also a lot of times
we're not. And like we talked about in the
first episode, the big episode, if you focus on what you don't
want, which I think is kind of an easier thing to do, doesn't
actually help you get to where you do want.
If you can do this kind of activity where you sit there and
you're not just like, yeah, I'd like to be in a bigger house in
three years time. You're like, what house do I
want to be in? What do I want it to look like?
What do I want the house to be giving us?
What do I want to hear, what I want to feel in that space and
really get so clear on what you want.
Then you have a vision to work towards and you can, you're
actually another thing that follows a session like this a
lot of the time is something called a future pace where you,
you sit there and you visualise kind of what we've just done.
And you, you really just like step out a month in advance at
12 months in advance, three years in advance.
And you picture where you want to be.
And then you actually borrow from those future times, the
feelings that you want and it actually shifts how you're
feeling inside. So it's a really fun and I think
really powerful exercise to do, yeah.
That was good. Yeah.
And so we can work through some other coaching stuff on these
chatter episodes as we go. But I think just for you guys,
if this is something that you want to do as a couple, if you
want to sit there and just like have a have a strategy night
like we spoke about and get super clear about what you want
in your relationship, these are some questions that you can work
through as well. Like just that kind of thing.
Like what are you feeling on a day to day basis?
What do you want to feel on a day to day basis?
And make sure you're getting down to actual emotions.
Not, not just like I'm, I'm organised, I'm I'm busy.
Like there's an emotion that sits behind that.
So just dig a little bit in that conversation.
What are you feeling? What do you want to feel when
you think about life? What are you, what are you
struggling the most with? Or what are you doing really
well in what do you want your life to look like in three years
time? What do you want to hear?
What do you want to feel? What, who do you want to be
there? What do you want to be seeing?
That kind of thing. And just borrow some of that
those emotions to actually help you as a couple.
Now establish that foundation for in the direction that you're
working towards. Can be a really good date night
activity I reckon. Absolutely.
That was massive. I think, again, it's just like
it's still just sticking in my head.
I'm like, all right, man. Like what do I need to do to get
that? Yeah, do I need to do?
Who do I need to be? Who do you need to be?
Yeah, exactly. Absolutely.
Cool. Well, thank you for joining me
in this session today. Thank you for coaching me.
And just a reminder that this is confidential.
I'll pay you later, yeah. That's I will with my body
listening to this. Kill.
Thanks guys. Good chat.