1 00:00:00,090 --> 00:00:03,450 Hi, guys. Hey and welcome and chatters. 2 00:00:03,540 --> 00:00:05,830 Thank you, Shane. It's suggestion. 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,260 We love it. I think that works. 4 00:00:07,270 --> 00:00:08,980 Well, that's what we're gonna go with for now. 5 00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:13,340 So since you're one of our founding shadows, do you get the 6 00:00:13,350 --> 00:00:14,410 right? You got the. 7 00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:16,010 Right, props to you. Mate to you mate. 8 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,330 We've just gone through five love languages on our main 9 00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:23,790 episode, but we thought we'd dig a little bit deeper and kind of 10 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,700 go through our results in a little bit more detail and check 11 00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:30,790 in and see how we're going. Yeah, yeah. 12 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:35,310 So I mean straight off the top. So gifts is my top one. 13 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:41,960 You haven't got me a gift in a long time, but I it's not like 14 00:00:41,970 --> 00:00:44,080 it's taken me to be filled, if that makes sense. 15 00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:47,870 I feel like again, I mentioned about the mug, but it's I feel 16 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,860 like I've got stuff around like even the setup here, like this 17 00:00:50,870 --> 00:00:54,670 was still a gift to me and I feel like I've got a lot of 18 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,780 things around there. Reminds me of your love, if that 19 00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:01,740 makes sense. So gives us gifts is quite good. 20 00:01:03,070 --> 00:01:05,590 He said I haven't got you a gift in awhile because I was thinking 21 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,270 I get you gifts all the time and you haven't gotten me a gift 22 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,160 more. Oht Really. 23 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,750 Yeah. I I get you like lollies and 24 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,130 stuff. When I go shopping I'm like, oh, 25 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,410 that's a special thing for Blair. 26 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:17,430 So I'll get you like lollies or I got you that gift when we got 27 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,580 10,000. Yeah, so that's actually really 28 00:01:19,590 --> 00:01:23,250 good because, and this is what I was reading through, this is 29 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:25,530 it's the token. So if it's something that 30 00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:28,570 disappears, it's not a actual impactful gift. 31 00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:32,730 It's a nice gesture, but the love feels like again going back 32 00:01:32,740 --> 00:01:36,200 to Mark goodness, actually right here yeah is I see it yeah. 33 00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:39,480 So it's that ongoing thing. So it's something that can keep. 34 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:42,060 It's not expensive at all It's not about the price. 35 00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:44,980 It's about what like the thought behind them. 36 00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:48,980 But it's like continually remember if it's food or 37 00:01:48,990 --> 00:01:52,120 anything that can consume or it's gone in a moment like a 38 00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:55,720 ticket to the movies. It's not a gift like that. 39 00:01:55,730 --> 00:01:56,590 They. Haven't done a ticket? 40 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,060 No, no. You haven't, but it's like if 41 00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:03,240 that was your gift, it'd be nice gesture, but it wouldn't be the 42 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:04,330 token of your. Off. 43 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:07,840 That's funny cause I've been like those times when I do that 44 00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:09,930 is because I'm like, I need to get something for Blair. 45 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,580 This is my intentional gift, really. 46 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:14,020 Yeah. That's like he doesn't do that 47 00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:16,030 for me anymore. Yeah, cause I mean, yeah, I 48 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,860 think. I mean. 49 00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:23,090 Yeah, yeah, I like, I got you where I was just, I was just 50 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,980 small cause I, I watched you as well to see what you're doing. 51 00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:30,800 Because it's either you're doing it, I feel like it's either 52 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:33,940 you're starting to do these things because you're empty on 53 00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:36,420 it. And so I start to like watch 54 00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:38,510 what you're doing and like, oh, you're getting me stuff. 55 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,610 I'll get you some wine, you know, that's why I did that, but 56 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,680 I didn't actually realise the gifts was higher than you are 57 00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:48,560 higher for you now. It was more that I wonder if 58 00:02:48,570 --> 00:02:52,450 that's low for you at the moment like you're tanking in that area 59 00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:53,010 was. Lunch. 60 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,470 I think it could be the same thing. 61 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,610 Yeah, possibly. I think that it could come out 62 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:59,710 higher because my tank is lower. The gifts are still higher for 63 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,360 me, but my tank doesn't feel like, yeah, you know, I mean, 64 00:03:02,370 --> 00:03:05,240 so. Words of affirmation and some 65 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:06,980 feel low to me, but still my highest. 66 00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:09,910 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so it's. 67 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,180 Cool. Well The funny thing is though, 68 00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,880 because I've been giving you those gifts thinking because you 69 00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:15,410 look really excited when I get it for you. 70 00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:17,500 So I don't know if you are or if you're just saying you're 71 00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:19,360 excited. Oh no, I still like the gifts. 72 00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:23,700 Like again, I like the token of appreciation rather. 73 00:03:23,710 --> 00:03:26,800 Than a gift because I speak. To my language. 74 00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:29,610 That wouldn't be, that would be the same for me because I'll be 75 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,620 like, oh, that's nice. Especially alcohol. 76 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:36,550 I just like something about people buying me alcohol that I 77 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,170 like. I don't know. 78 00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:39,530 I don't know why. I just, yeah, your dad does 79 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:43,640 really well with that. He gets me alcohol that I don't 80 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:45,640 necessarily love, you know? It's very. 81 00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:48,960 Lovely. But what I'm trying to say is on 82 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,280 the guest part, which was really interesting to me because I've 83 00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:54,280 got a little chart here and it says it's got heartfelt and 84 00:03:54,290 --> 00:03:56,690 practical on one side, so it's going to scale there and then 85 00:03:56,700 --> 00:04:00,700 it's got extravagant and simple on another scale, and mine are 86 00:04:00,710 --> 00:04:03,920 practical, so not heartfelt. That's why Flowers to me has 87 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:05,690 never. Been because I remember I used 88 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,640 to get you chocolates and flowers I mean you like. 89 00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:11,820 Chocolates would be a nice taken but flowers are not. 90 00:04:12,590 --> 00:04:16,339 Yeah, so expensive. Like if you had spent that money 91 00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:19,260 on Mac and cheese for me, Yeah, I know then that genuinely. 92 00:04:19,269 --> 00:04:21,060 It was funny cause I took out your sister. 93 00:04:21,070 --> 00:04:24,840 Yeah, his sister the other day and they were like, you've just 94 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:27,280 finished a play and she wanted to show you give your gift to 95 00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:30,420 say well done. And I took her around and we got 96 00:04:30,430 --> 00:04:33,200 you or she got you off my recommendation. 97 00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:37,980 Snow jacket, Mac and cheese, a bottle of wine, chocolate and 98 00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:39,420 chocolate, right. How was? 99 00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,780 That so good. Yeah. 100 00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:42,940 You know what was the most exciting about cheese and 101 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,330 cheese? And I just eaten a whole box of 102 00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:46,550 Mac and cheese in the last two weeks. 103 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,470 It's not like something I haven't had that's so funny. 104 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,920 But someone getting that for me or I think you've gotten it for 105 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:52,750 me from my stopping before. Yeah. 106 00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:55,130 That is Christmas stocking. Yeah. 107 00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:55,930 Christmas stocking. Yeah. 108 00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:58,430 That is the most out of all of those things. 109 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,110 And then the alcohol is the 2nd and then the chocolate. 110 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:02,630 Love the chocolate and the snow jacket. 111 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:06,730 Very practical, but also not me immediately applicable. 112 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,890 So it was like, well I don't have one. 113 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:12,710 Not not super special necessarily at this point in 114 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,210 time, but will be really helpful down the track. 115 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,430 Fans of the way that you received it, like the Mac and 116 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,770 cheese was like the love. That was the love thing. 117 00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:21,690 It's so. Funny. 118 00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:26,510 So on mine it's it's more practical and and it's equal, 119 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,210 extravagant and simple. So Mac and cheese is simple, but 120 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:35,090 the the best it's still it is a love gift, but it's still that 121 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:39,520 kind of Tony love gift because now it's gone she straight. 122 00:05:39,530 --> 00:05:42,350 Away via liked markers in Jesus as much as you did, it still 123 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,760 wouldn't be Yeah, the thing that it's gone. 124 00:05:44,770 --> 00:05:47,290 Yeah, but they, the gifts you've given me that I've been the most 125 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:51,030 impactful are things like that, even though I never use it, my 126 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:54,670 tripod thing for my phone because it's just you. 127 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,910 It's extravagant. I love technology. 128 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,700 So anything technology. You got me a Google Home on 129 00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:02,410 Christmas. You've got me a lot like my 130 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:05,130 first mic for when I start my, my first podcast. 131 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,460 All that sort of stuff has been my favourite gifts that's there 132 00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:11,420 kind of more extravagant, but they're also practical. 133 00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:14,940 They're Yeah, Amy likes this. I like GI, have a feeling you 134 00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:17,930 hate that. I love that but I never use it 135 00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:20,500 because it's complicated and it's it's stressing my brain out 136 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:20,910 to figure. Out. 137 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,880 So that's why I'm like, oh, that wasn't a good one because it 138 00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:25,080 was. It's too complicated. 139 00:06:25,130 --> 00:06:29,340 It's a good one, it's the actual work outworking of it which is 140 00:06:29,350 --> 00:06:32,030 just a system thing on their part, not you at all. 141 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,230 Like it's a perfect gift for. My favourite gift I ever 142 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:39,600 received from any extended family ever was my Nana and 143 00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:41,410 grandpa who don't usually get us Christmas gifts. 144 00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:44,530 I don't even know why they did. This year they bought me a pod 145 00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:47,470 coffee machine which blew a bunch of coffee pots just from 146 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:48,720 ALDI. It was a cheap one. 147 00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:53,040 Wasn't super cheap, but it wasn't like huge And my mum had 148 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:56,440 suggested it to them and I just, I've never felt as excited about 149 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:59,240 any gift I've ever received from extended family as that 150 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,760 conference. And it wasn't because it was 151 00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:04,460 huge. It just was like, I love coffee. 152 00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:06,920 This is my own thing because ours is still like a young 153 00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:08,250 adult. I don't really own anything of 154 00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,540 my own like that. And I was like, this is a 155 00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,880 basket. And I don't know that they 156 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:15,030 really understand how much I love the coffee machine. 157 00:07:16,030 --> 00:07:18,370 Anyway, that's very deep dive on the gift side. 158 00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:19,300 Yeah, that's. Gone. 159 00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:21,910 So for you, what did the gifts come up with on that chart? 160 00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:28,080 It's on page all of my page 7. Years, but I disagree with this 161 00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:30,030 so yeah. So I disagree with this. 162 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,280 So you could say Gifford is heartfelt and extravagant is 163 00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:36,380 most likely to warm your heart and connect you to the gift 164 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,880 giver. So do you think heartfelt and 165 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:42,840 maybe medium between extravagant and simple or do you think more 166 00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:44,660 simple because or do you think more? 167 00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:47,250 Practical. You land in the. 168 00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:50,200 Middle, I think I land in the middle and and that's part on 169 00:07:50,210 --> 00:07:52,100 the thing. It's like it's literally just 170 00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:56,220 over the line, like, you know, and I was thinking through it go 171 00:07:56,230 --> 00:08:00,740 so to say, like you got me that tripod right, which I would just 172 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:05,040 not use. I because I have to maintain. 173 00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:10,200 I have to learn out. I just it would know the mug 174 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,940 gangsta swag there is so simple. I don't have to do anything with 175 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:17,000 it. I clean it and I use it and 176 00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:18,680 that's it. Like it's it's like a high 177 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:20,740 maintenance thing. So I guess me something that's 178 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,260 like high maintenance. Yeah, I I lose interest because 179 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,640 it doesn't. Yeah, it's going to be 180 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:30,510 practical, simple and and yeah, it doesn't have to be expensive. 181 00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:33,809 Speaker once. I love that. 182 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,309 I love that. Yes, it straight away. 183 00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:37,679 Yeah, don't think what other more extravagant gifts. 184 00:08:37,690 --> 00:08:39,650 I can't even think of the gifts I get you every year. 185 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,950 They're sorely out of my head. Would you give me last 186 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,270 Christmas? I got you 01 time. 187 00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,810 One time. I got you Ray-ban speakers. 188 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:48,850 I get extra. I tend to go like above and 189 00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:49,860 beyond. Yeah, sure. 190 00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:54,380 How much you appreciate a heads up with the speakers in them? 191 00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:59,250 They they were good, but not yeah, I don't know where they 192 00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:01,260 are. I would say I think you probably 193 00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:01,780 ended. Up. 194 00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:04,170 Sorry. Yeah, I think because they 195 00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:06,170 thought they were cool in theory. 196 00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:08,900 Like I love technology stuff they'll call in theory but 197 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:10,720 practise they'll just paying the bike. 198 00:09:10,730 --> 00:09:13,280 Yeah, yeah, because my theory was like, oh, you wear Sunny all 199 00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:15,840 the time when you work, so you might as well listen all you 200 00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:18,040 work anyway. But yeah, that's what he was 201 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:21,490 working in trade. It's interesting. 202 00:09:21,530 --> 00:09:23,600 It'd be good outside of this because it just will take too 203 00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:26,280 long for us to look back at the stuff that we've gotten and and 204 00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:29,520 literally like almost list out what has been the most obviously 205 00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:31,630 the mug for you. It's one of them. 206 00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:33,310 Like what the other things have meant. 207 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,820 Because it does still stress me out at Christmas. 208 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,000 Don't want to? Get about what to get because I 209 00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:43,320 know that in theory it seems like a simple thing for it to 210 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,260 not have to be extravagant but just mean something. 211 00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:48,840 But then I'm like but it has to mean something to figure out 212 00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:51,770 what means something, and that feels complicated for me because 213 00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:54,500 mine is more practical. Yeah, so we could do is get 214 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,300 going through all the gifts that you've done. 215 00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:59,960 I can say like how it's been a meaningful scale and we go 216 00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:02,500 through there because. I mean, the mug is which I just 217 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,440 bring it up because right there and there's other stuff that's 218 00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:07,830 being meaningful to Yeah, but the that I use every day. 219 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,490 So that's where it's easier to say that. 220 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:13,890 But so then just quickly to go through my words of affirmation, 221 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,530 sorry, my highest one, which is why it's affirmation. 222 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:19,130 I thought it was really interesting because I've known 223 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:24,270 words about formation is high, but I also knew it wasn't just 224 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,240 people saying I actually get quite uncomfortable sometimes. 225 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,950 And in my head I was like, well, maybe I got uncomfortable 226 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:34,430 because it's so significant to me that it almost makes me a bit 227 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,270 like weirded out. And I also find it really hard 228 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,490 to be vulnerable with like not to be vulnerable. 229 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,290 I find it really easy to be open and talk about whatever. 230 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:47,200 But if I'm with a friend and even with us when we first like 231 00:10:47,210 --> 00:10:49,500 like we're together, I find it really hard to admit how 232 00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:52,520 significant someone is to so even the phrase of like, oh, 233 00:10:52,530 --> 00:10:56,880 you're my best friend. Like that to me was really just 234 00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:03,310 a really like weird thing to do. But this deeper quiz for the 235 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,550 five love languages broke down the types of words that are 236 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,810 important. And I thought this was really 237 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:13,050 helpful because encouragement, which is things like like, oh, 238 00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:15,670 you can do it, you can do it. That's actually the lowest for 239 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:16,970 me. It's like 13%. 240 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,410 That's actually not, I've never, those things don't mean much. 241 00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:22,050 So I think that was for me part of it like anything that's a 242 00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:26,840 little throwaway or like a little like what's the word like 243 00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:30,800 cliche or not really about me is not significant. 244 00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:34,840 In fact, it kind of is a bit like repelling the people that 245 00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:36,370 are like, Oh, I love you. I love you. 246 00:11:36,380 --> 00:11:40,320 Like I, I love that. Obviously our in within our 247 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,940 family is different, but when it comes to friends, I had friends 248 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,510 that were really like, oh, I love you, I love you. 249 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,480 And they say to everyone, oh, you're my best, you're my best. 250 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,830 You was like, who's your bestie? I couldn't figure out which ones 251 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,030 your bestie cause you said about 5 different people. 252 00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:53,850 And then, you know, they're all like, oh, I love you. 253 00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:56,830 And I'm like, yeah. But you're throwing that around 254 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,600 so much, it's lost its meaning to. 255 00:11:58,870 --> 00:12:01,980 Those things throw me off. I don't do those naturally. 256 00:12:02,530 --> 00:12:05,120 I've had to really work out getting better at that because 257 00:12:05,130 --> 00:12:11,690 they don't seem specific and but then there's appreciation, which 258 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:15,810 is at 38% for me, which is an expression of value, worth and 259 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:18,100 significance. So they've got examples here. 260 00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:20,690 They say thank you for always listening or I'm grateful for 261 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:22,630 your perspective. Thank you for being so reliable. 262 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,870 These are pretty broad. Like those examples don't really 263 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,290 resonate with me, but I think appreciation for what I've done. 264 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:33,450 So our oldest son commented recently and is he said that I 265 00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:35,870 found out he said the same thing to you time. 266 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,570 It felt special. He was like, mom, I want to, I 267 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,800 want to celebrate you because you do everything for us. 268 00:12:41,910 --> 00:12:44,500 He hasn't said that's amazing. He said he wants to. 269 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:47,040 He looks for any of the she needs to celebrate someone. 270 00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,920 Yeah, but he said to me something different. 271 00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:50,410 But yeah. Cause he's like, I was like, 272 00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:51,460 what do you mean? I do everything. 273 00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:54,200 He's like, you do everything. Like you made the office and you 274 00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,420 did the lounge room and he remembers things really well. 275 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,460 And he's like, can you cook us dinner and you make us lunch? 276 00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:01,100 And just all these things that he was listening. 277 00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,460 And that was really significant to me because I was like, he 278 00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:07,230 notices the things I do and back sort of to that mental loan kind 279 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,760 of thing. There's a lot that I do. 280 00:13:09,770 --> 00:13:12,100 There's a lot that everybody does and you just don't see 281 00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:12,930 them. Hmm. 282 00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:16,410 And so when they're noticed or appreciated, that's really 283 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:19,730 significant to me. Then the top one is compliments, 284 00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:22,190 and this is a really interesting, it is polite and 285 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:26,480 positive expressions of praise. I think you could have a really 286 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,710 unheard felt compliment. I think someone like, oh, you're 287 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,560 so nice, you're so clever or you're so pretty, like and and I 288 00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:35,100 can hear that and be like, OK, yeah. 289 00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:39,560 But if someone says you are really good at this thing, I 290 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,920 crave that. If someone's like Amy's really, 291 00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:46,970 if here's someone calling out what I'm good at or what I do 292 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:50,110 well at or something positive about me to someone else in a 293 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,430 really real way, that means so, so much to me. 294 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,900 If I hear, if you tell me something that I've done, 295 00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:59,150 especially in a work kind of way or something about who I am 296 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:02,650 inside, like my abilities and that kind of thing, that means a 297 00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:06,470 lot to me. If you say that's why that quote 298 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,450 went so viral and why it was so significant to me, it wasn't. 299 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:13,440 You've told me I'm beautiful many times, and you telling me 300 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:17,240 that I'm beautiful is great. You tell me why I'm beautiful 301 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:20,370 was huge and it's the same as like you. 302 00:14:20,430 --> 00:14:23,620 If you you know, if I come out and I'm all dressed up and 303 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,330 you're oh, you look nice. That's great. 304 00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:28,900 But if I come out and be like, wow, you look really nice, or I 305 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,880 can see that you're living out town. 306 00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:33,790 Max that look. Stop. 307 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,350 You just keep coming up behind me, giving me cuddles anyway. 308 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,610 Then back to me is like, oh, I know that he's appreciating me 309 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,750 and that is different. So I thought it was really 310 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,030 interesting to break it down into those because again, you 311 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,010 could just be like, oh, she likes words, so I'm just going 312 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,530 to say words like. I genuinely in my hair like I 313 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:53,130 need to write you notes. Yeah, you're the best, you know, 314 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:54,850 Yeah, when you. Talk about the notes and the 315 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,210 other thing, like actually wouldn't. 316 00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:59,830 If I get a note that says I love you, you're the best, it's like, 317 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:03,450 oh, that's cute, but it's not actually going to need. 318 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,840 Yeah, If you said, and I hear you do it all the time, which is 319 00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:08,540 really lovely. You'll talk about me on your 320 00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:11,370 meetings, like at work and because I work with Blair and 321 00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,070 you'll say, oh, yeah, he's really good at this or 322 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,270 something. When you sell me to someone else 323 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,330 or when I hear you appreciate what I am capable of as an 324 00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:22,030 individual, that's different to other people, that really means 325 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,270 a lot. I say it. 326 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,350 Louder so you can hear, yeah, hear that loud. 327 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,970 What is your? Because I know this is your 328 00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:31,090 lowest. Yeah. 329 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,670 So my lowest is in complement. Interesting SO. 330 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:39,270 That's your highest then? It's very close to 20% 331 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,910 compliment than 27% encouragement. 332 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,590 Yeah, and 53% appreciation. Interesting. 333 00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:46,880 So once. Appreciation and. 334 00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:48,790 Yes, I'm trying to figure out the difference between the two. 335 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,850 So compliment is polite and positive expression of praise. 336 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:54,910 Appreciation is an expression of value, worth and significance. 337 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,410 So I guess they're like work thing. 338 00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:59,110 Probably fits into appreciation rather than compliment. 339 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,090 Like so for example. This is hypothetical. 340 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:07,740 So my work's got a big award and my boss went up and it's like, 341 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,860 you know, thank you for this award. 342 00:16:08,870 --> 00:16:13,140 I really relied on player to do this, this, this like that. 343 00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:17,570 Done acknowledgements as well of that, yeah. 344 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:19,740 I don't know, I feel like it's similar to what you're saying is 345 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:22,960 yours, but I'm trying to work out on the differences between 346 00:16:22,970 --> 00:16:24,830 the two I. Think especially because comma, 347 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,660 if we use so low, yeah. So it's kind of important. 348 00:16:27,670 --> 00:16:30,840 There's a there's a little like compliments often help you stay 349 00:16:30,850 --> 00:16:33,660 motivated to excel when you know they come from the heart. 350 00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:36,240 Sure, you enjoy all of them to some extent, but verbal 351 00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,260 expressions highlighting your positive qualities like your 352 00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:42,700 good decision maker, your actions you are gifted when it 353 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,960 comes to interacting with children, your achievements. 354 00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:49,420 I'm impressed by the way you saw the project to the finish line 355 00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:51,920 or even your appearance. Your fashion sense is an 356 00:16:51,930 --> 00:16:56,240 inspiration is no one ever say that to me because it's not, but 357 00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:57,780 also because it wouldn't mean anything. 358 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,800 Compliments boost your spirit, convey affection, compulsory 359 00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,550 relationships. So that's, I guess what they're 360 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,230 putting under compliments. I don't know. 361 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:05,960 Yeah. Interesting. 362 00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:08,300 It'd be interesting to dive into that a little bit more than 363 00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:10,540 figure out the difference. Really interesting. 364 00:17:11,869 --> 00:17:14,310 But it's good again, like even for us, we haven't revisited 365 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:17,160 this properly for years now. So this has been really cool 366 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:20,030 down because I've I've learned more about you and you've 367 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,900 learned more about me, about my gifts and why I want and the 368 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:26,460 words that you actually, you know, want to hear from me like 369 00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:28,380 just like that. Now that's great. 370 00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,740 And the things that I've been intentionally doing or we've 371 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:34,110 been intentionally doing, thinking it's loving, but it's 372 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,560 and it is loving because that something you haven't dived 373 00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:40,280 into, but we will require is also it's not just a matter of 374 00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:42,340 what that person. It's a matter of understanding 375 00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:46,060 how you naturally show up and then also understanding how that 376 00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:47,700 person actually understands love. 377 00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:51,310 Because they will mismatch and you could be like, Oh they love 378 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,940 this but also not recognise what you're giving. 379 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:58,390 And I think they break it down as well as you're giving of 380 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,780 love. So what I give out as love is 381 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,530 different to what I receive in as love. 382 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,210 Yeah. And yeah, it's like a whole big 383 00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:07,330 web, yeah. Yeah, it's good. 384 00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:10,090 It's really, really impactful. I love these conversations. 385 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,110 Really encourage you guys to check it out. 386 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,970 Love language. fivelovelanguages.com. 387 00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:19,770 Yeah, you got the free version or the paid version that both 388 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:22,060 are good. Check it out guys. 389 00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:24,820 Thanks Chinese. Chatters next time we chat, bye 390 00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:25,160 bye.