1 00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:14,900 Honey, we need to chat. Hey guys, welcome back to Honey, 2 00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:18,510 we need to chat. We are a podcast all about 3 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,070 communication in relationship. We believe that when 4 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:24,870 communication dies, bad things happen and so we have a focus 5 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,140 and a passion about communicating within our 6 00:00:28,150 --> 00:00:30,270 relationship. It's all about the communicator, 7 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,770 and you know what? That's actually picked up. 8 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,310 That's good, he said back to me. I really like, I have a friend 9 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,410 be like, hey, how's the communicado? 10 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,280 If you know, you know. It's not even a real. 11 00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:44,910 Word. I looked it up in Spanish. 12 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,590 I'm fairly sure that I looked it up and it wasn't actually do it 13 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,280 right now. It is now do it right now. 14 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:52,970 Where did your phone go? Because I speak Spanish semi a 15 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,020 little bit. I need to be right? 16 00:00:55,030 --> 00:01:01,610 Communicado Spania. What is the Spanish Inquisition? 17 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:09,940 Spanish word for communication. Do you mean but communicado 18 00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,840 schoolers? Yeah, I know what's what is it 19 00:01:11,850 --> 00:01:13,820 for communicate? Why don't you just type in? 20 00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,700 What does communicado mean in Spanish? 21 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,590 The car oht might be close. Communicate. 22 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,340 Communicate. That's what it was. 23 00:01:21,350 --> 00:01:23,180 It must have been that. Maybe it's in the must have been 24 00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:24,320 that. No, I know it was, must have 25 00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:25,040 been. That must have been. 26 00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:26,550 It must have been. So we're both right. 27 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,950 But Communicator? So about the communicate. 28 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:33,030 Yeah, well, this is an exciting episode because this is our 20th 29 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,230 episode 2 and that is an achievement, honestly. 30 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:39,590 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I've never really had a picture 31 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,220 of what three months of this podcast would be like. 32 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:44,410 Yeah, but this is way more than what I thought it was gonna be. 33 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:46,570 Like. Even though I didn't really have 34 00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:47,870 a thought of what it would be like. 35 00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:50,450 I've been since. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 36 00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,030 I did not think we would be where we are. 37 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,830 Yeah, we've got some awesome stuff coming up and and some 38 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,360 things we wanna be doing and and growing and changing. 39 00:01:57,370 --> 00:02:01,310 We got along way to go, but it's been, man, it's been so good. 40 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,960 I've had so much fun. And that is largely because of 41 00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:04,510 you guys. Yeah. 42 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,130 So thank you so much. Absolutely. 43 00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:08,590 Every week when I post our episode and I watched the 44 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:12,370 lessons come in, it's just I'm like, why people listening to 45 00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:14,960 this? But I'm so honoured and excited 46 00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:17,810 that that you guys are so. It's like instant too like you 47 00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:20,130 will. You will put upload it and press 48 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,470 upload and then check back not long later it's. 49 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,890 Like if you listen to the ready straight away, it's hectic, it's 50 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,770 awesome and we really appreciate it. 51 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:31,360 So thank you for being here. And on that note, actually, if 52 00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:34,030 you are here, you're obviously listening to us on some kind of 53 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,120 platform, which means you probably follow us on some kind 54 00:02:36,130 --> 00:02:37,580 of platform. But we wanted to just say we 55 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:40,830 would love you guys to take a moment right now and literally 56 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:45,350 swipe to Instagram, YouTube, TikTok or Facebook and just 57 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,670 follow us there if you are active on that platform. 58 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,420 Because we do have content that comes out on all of those 59 00:02:50,430 --> 00:02:53,000 platforms. And the content isn't always the 60 00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:55,760 same across the platforms. And another thing we're really 61 00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:58,960 trying to focus on in this kind of next season or stage of the 62 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:03,660 podcast is building our community element outside of 63 00:03:03,670 --> 00:03:05,460 just the episodes that we're releasing. 64 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:10,000 So if you don't follow us or on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, or 65 00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,700 TikTok, hop on over and do that right now. 66 00:03:12,770 --> 00:03:15,940 And also, if you're listening to us on a streaming platform and 67 00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:18,180 you haven't yet followed or subscribed, please make sure to 68 00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:19,960 do that too. Because all of those little 69 00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:23,140 details mean the world to us to make a huge difference. 70 00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:25,720 But also it means that we've got more touch points of you guys to 71 00:03:25,730 --> 00:03:28,760 communicate and communicate. And communicate. 72 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:32,170 Let's not change it again, Communicado. 73 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,610 So thank you for being here, being a part of Honey. 74 00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:36,790 We need to chat. We're really appreciative. 75 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,190 Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, well we're going to do a 76 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,470 little bit of a different episode today. 77 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,570 Yep. We have a write in from our 78 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:46,010 chatter and then we're going to dig a little bit deeper into who 79 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:49,500 is the faces behind Honey, we need to chat. 80 00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:52,470 Who is Amy and Blair? Who are Amy Blair? 81 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:55,680 Linguists? That's who we are as you can 82 00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:57,760 tell from the 1st 5 minutes of this episode. 83 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,210 So welcome. Enjoy. 84 00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:03,650 We're gonna start breaking some ice with a Would you rather? 85 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:08,470 Alright, I come up with these myself through Google. 86 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,310 Would you rather always have a mullet haircut or a ponytail 87 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,660 haircut? This is not a good question for. 88 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:14,900 You. Oh my gosh. 89 00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:16,570 Hairstyle. It just says haircut. 90 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,870 I don't know what that is. Yeah, change it. 91 00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:20,029 OK. Will you? 92 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,550 Would you? No. 93 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:27,010 Would you rather always have bad gas or always have a really dry 94 00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:29,360 mouth? I'm no straight straight away. 95 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,410 These are silly. Would you rather be a high 96 00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,590 school teacher or a clown high school teacher? 97 00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:37,590 Would you really? Ask me a question curious about. 98 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,620 You. I feel like these guys asking me 99 00:04:39,630 --> 00:04:41,080 and I need to say these are silly. 100 00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:43,930 Just pick one that's good. Alright, would you rather have 101 00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:47,090 to always hop around on one foot or always have to squat? 102 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,780 Always hop around on one foot. I don't think so. 103 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,750 Squat, Squat. So maybe it might be when you 104 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,590 stop you squat. I think squat. 105 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,490 I think I'd wanna hop on one foot. 106 00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:58,180 What if you need to run you'll? Start just the squatting. 107 00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:00,760 Like that's so uncomfortable. So I was hoping. 108 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,840 You but it doesn't like this. Thing that I quads for days 109 00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:06,490 squads for. Days, but hopping would give you 110 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,230 quads too or some kind of something. 111 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,300 On one leg. One more and make it good. 112 00:05:10,650 --> 00:05:12,720 No pressure. Just so trash. 113 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:15,400 Yeah. Next, would you rather have an 114 00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:18,100 unlimited gift card to your favourite restaurant or 115 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:22,480 favourite shop? That is actually good, Yeah. 116 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:26,210 I think logistically I would say shop, yeah, but my heart wants 117 00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:28,850 to say restaurant. Yeah, I'm feeling quite hungry 118 00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:30,470 now. I think you say, but I think I 119 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,190 think favourite shop because The thing is I don't know what my 120 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,150 favourite shop is. Maybe. 121 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,120 Maybe JB Hifi, right? Which is like a tech shop like 122 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,530 that technology. Yeah, so. 123 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,850 But there's always new things happening there. 124 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,620 Favourite restaurant? I'm gonna get sick of those 125 00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:45,810 meals. Yeah, exactly. 126 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:48,330 So I think, I think, I think shop, yeah, yeah, that's all. 127 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:52,330 If you did have to pick one shop and one restaurant, what would 128 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:57,570 you pick JB for your. Ji think JB and restaurant needs 129 00:05:57,580 --> 00:06:01,750 to be like it needs to be. There needs to be quality menu 130 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,870 like broad menu. I wanna say something silly like 131 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,790 Green St. That's not silly. 132 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,440 Where's that silly? Because it's salad. 133 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:12,250 That's not silly. That's that's like a wise 134 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:13,810 mature. I mean, yeah. 135 00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,200 Boring. That's why I'm doing it. 136 00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:19,030 Wouldn't my my reasoning for that is, is because I feel like 137 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,570 I would eat that even if I got sick of that food. 138 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:23,040 I would eat that because it's healthy. 139 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,630 Yeah. Yeah. 140 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,370 So I think I'll go Green Street. Can't pick mine. 141 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,410 No, I wouldn't ever. So there's no worries there. 142 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,890 I would actually be tempted to pick Jamie, but I think I 143 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,370 logistically, again, I'd either go like Kmart or Target. 144 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:39,850 Not because I love their stuff so much, but because I could get 145 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:43,600 anything I need there for anybody that I needed to. 146 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,580 So if I had a gift card for that constantly? 147 00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:48,300 Yeah, that's true. I'd feel almost. 148 00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:53,090 But I mean like the gifts I will give will. 149 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,510 Be better. Be way better than any. 150 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,590 They'll be tech tech gifts. Yeah, but look at. 151 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,800 These babies there clothes and I don't. 152 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:04,340 Think anyone is gonna care that my gifts to them is a huge TV? 153 00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:09,090 They give a free gift card is to buy things for yourself, not to 154 00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:11,400 go to other. People that's that was not in 155 00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:13,050 the rules. It was What is the rule? 156 00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,950 Just what gift card would you want? 157 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,510 So that you can buy things there for yourself. 158 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,130 Yeah, well, but if I but if I have to buy a gift for someone 159 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,360 and still buying it for myself to give to that person, I have 160 00:07:24,370 --> 00:07:26,810 to come with a gift. This is just I thought you 161 00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:29,790 thought that you with a gift card you have to buy things to 162 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,870 gift to other people. No, no, you just mentioned if 163 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,840 you had to get. Something for someone, Yeah, I'm 164 00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:36,750 just saying if we need to close for our baby, if we needed 165 00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:39,990 nappies, if we needed for our snacks, JB. 166 00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:42,980 The fridge for our baby. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be 167 00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:43,910 there. I'm gonna provide. 168 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,350 Yeah. Well, look, we'll complete each 169 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:46,990 other. OK. 170 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,150 And then food. Haven't. 171 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,430 Haven't. Answered Yeah, the one you can't 172 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,220 save. Me food is really I would never 173 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:52,710 I. Would. 174 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:53,650 Would you? Never. 175 00:07:53,660 --> 00:07:57,300 I would. Never say McDonald's. 176 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,810 I'm triggered by that because I had a Rep for being the 177 00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:04,810 McDonald's ohe girl at my old work. 178 00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:06,810 Yeah. Everyone was like, everyone was 179 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,870 super healthy and they were doing like, basically like 180 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,330 overview, employee chat, overview, whatever. 181 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,470 And everybody went to this like hip Cafe that was up there. 182 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,570 Like way closer than anything else is literally like a two 183 00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:23,480 minute walk from my workplace. Everyone went there and my 184 00:08:23,530 --> 00:08:26,320 manager came in to me and said Amy, if you wanted to go to 185 00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:29,420 McDonald's we could, which is like a 5 minute drive away. 186 00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:31,200 I was like, I don't wanna go to. McDonald's. 187 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,100 So I just know you like it a lot. 188 00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:37,230 Like I wanna go to the cafe. And I was very hurt that I had 189 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,820 this Rep, that she thought out of the goodness of her heart she 190 00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:45,580 would take me to McDonald's for my little chat, whereas everyone 191 00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,060 else went to the fancy cafe. I wasn't. 192 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,900 Hurt. So no, I wouldn't say 193 00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:53,000 McDonald's. Always get a McDonald's but it 194 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,160 is your default. It's just easy. 195 00:08:55,170 --> 00:08:57,400 That's the only reason. Yeah, it's not because I'm like 196 00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:59,920 obsessed with McDonald's. Yeah, it's it's usually for 197 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,170 coffee. Honestly, that's the biggest 198 00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:02,360 thing is the drive through for coffee. 199 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:08,270 So anyway, now that I'm triggered, actually, I think I 200 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:13,000 would say something like either like TGI Fridays, which I don't 201 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:16,660 love, yeah, or like, but somewhere that's got like a list 202 00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:20,880 of things you can get, like quite a menu or Paco's tacos, 203 00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:22,920 because I love it. I would get tired of it. 204 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,600 I know that. Yeah, I know that without a 205 00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,010 doubt. So I think my choice is. 206 00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:29,560 I think yeah, greens fruits are grey one because you can it's 207 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:33,390 adjustable to whatever mood you're in unless you really not 208 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,610 feeling solid. Cool. 209 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,290 Well, the ice breaking, Yeah, OK, we thought. 210 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,080 Because ice is broken and the triggers have. 211 00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:40,590 Been. We're already triggered. 212 00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:42,570 Yeah, So we're going to be anyway. 213 00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,910 I dyed my hair red. Just breaking that ice, 214 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,370 everybody. Yes, yes, yes, it's changed. 215 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:52,110 We're going to be introducing a different segment we thought and 216 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,710 because we want to keep things fluid, it's new. 217 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,450 We've had like our 20 episodes where in a bit of a good routine 218 00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,710 with getting the core episodes out. 219 00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,830 As we mentioned, we want to build our community element a 220 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,410 little bit more on the platforms. 221 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,590 And so as part of that, there's a few things we're going to be 222 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,650 doing. One is we're going to put a 223 00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:11,810 survey out soon. We would love your feedback on 224 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:15,620 it because the podcast is here to serve the people that are 225 00:10:15,630 --> 00:10:18,630 listening is not here to serve us, although it is also serving 226 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,250 us, which is incredible. But we want to hear from you 227 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:22,880 guys. So please, please, please keep 228 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:25,810 an eye out for that. If you haven't yet subscribed to 229 00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,860 our mailing list to do so. We haven't been super active on 230 00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:33,890 it yet purely out of resource time resources, but we will be. 231 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,390 So if you want updates and that kind of thing, please hop on 232 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,430 over to our website at www.honey. 233 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,760 We need to chat.com. Do not tease me for saying WWW. 234 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,800 Do not tease me if you know, you know, and also, as we mentioned, 235 00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:49,810 subscribe on the platforms that were the social media platforms 236 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:51,370 and that kind of thing. But we'll be putting out a 237 00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:54,130 survey and getting some feedback because we would love to hear 238 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:57,230 from you guys. And we thought that one of the 239 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,560 things we could do to keep our little intros, although this has 240 00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:03,500 already been long, but I'll keep our intro is a bit more like 241 00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:08,730 moving ahead and structured, but also free was we would introduce 242 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:13,490 teen chat chat, chat T what was it teen chat, teen chat. 243 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:18,130 I've got my daughter. Yeah, OHS My Little Pony mug. 244 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,390 Mom was dirty and you won't watch it. 245 00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,640 So we will just touch base with each other at the beginning of 246 00:11:22,650 --> 00:11:27,360 the episodes over T hmm T chap. Lovely. 247 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:32,610 So welcome to teacher baby, how are you doing? 248 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,730 I'm good. I am feeling A8. 249 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,150 Yeah, good. Good at 10 I think I've been in 250 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,190 holidays as you know this week, so taking a week off. 251 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,530 It's school holidays here, which I'm glad I'm taking a week off 252 00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:46,080 for that. So you'll be able to, you've 253 00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:50,010 been able to have more time, not as much time as I was hoping 254 00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:52,340 for, but more time. Focusing on the podcast this 255 00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:54,580 week, which has been good. So I've been hanging out with 256 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:57,410 the kids, which has been great. I say getting sick, which has 257 00:11:57,420 --> 00:12:00,670 been terrible, but I think I'm on the mend, which is good. 258 00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:03,850 Lots of, lots of the. Yeah, well, so we took a week 259 00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:07,370 off because we're going to get very busy at work. 260 00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:09,850 And so I thought, look, let's take a break during school 261 00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:13,480 holidays to be here while while everyone else is here and then 262 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:16,850 before the busy, busy season. Yeah, that's great. 263 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,520 How are you? Yes, I would also be an 8. 264 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:22,200 I also feel a little bit like I'm getting sick. 265 00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:26,750 So if this is a bit scratchy, then that's probably why we're a 266 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,240 bit under the weather. Yeah. 267 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,620 Which is always the case when you stop. 268 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:32,860 It's always the case. Yeah, you always get sick when 269 00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:35,840 you stop. So that's just classic. 270 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,660 Here's what it is. But yeah, good. 271 00:12:38,070 --> 00:12:40,560 It's been really nice to plough through some podcast stuff, get 272 00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:42,200 up to date. We've got some really exciting 273 00:12:42,210 --> 00:12:45,740 things happening that we can't fully like share, not for 274 00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:49,270 secretly reasons or anything, but they're not yet to come to 275 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,390 pass, but really exciting things. 276 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,910 So that's been really fun. Yeah, yeah. 277 00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:57,290 And we, we thought also we were just like share a bit of what 278 00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,910 how we've been connecting recently. 279 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,730 Yeah. So like date time we have, we 280 00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:06,240 actually had a date night at at home, date night the other 281 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,350 night, a games night. Oh yeah, we did. 282 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:08,930 Yeah. And. 283 00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:11,280 Spontaneously. Yep, it was great and. 284 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:17,410 Didn't last for super long. I won, so it seemed to struggle 285 00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:20,010 more with that than he wanted to let on, but he let. 286 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,230 On who played card games, We played Phase 10. 287 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,390 I'm not sure if you guys have played it. 288 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,610 If you haven't, get on to it. It's amazing and I'm very good 289 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:31,230 at it and let's leave it. There you played with our seven 290 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,860 year old today. I beat him. 291 00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:34,280 You said you were actually struggling. 292 00:13:34,290 --> 00:13:36,140 I actually was. We're on the same one. 293 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:38,220 We haven't finished yet. Oh my gosh. 294 00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:40,410 But I won. I smashed. 295 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:43,500 You smashed isn't. Yeah, exaggeration, right? 296 00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:46,040 But it was nice. It was just spontaneous. 297 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,320 You're like, hey, what if we get take away after the kids go down 298 00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:50,340 and we play some games? So that was really good. 299 00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:51,180 Yeah. Yeah. 300 00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:53,540 Yeah, and I think I've been talking to a couple of couples 301 00:13:53,610 --> 00:13:56,580 recently about that too. And I'm like, oh man, I need to, 302 00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:59,260 you know, practise, practise it myself. 303 00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:01,670 I know that we don't do it. We hadn't done it for awhile. 304 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,950 And like, I mean, like, I really wanna just hang out. 305 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,890 And so we we did that. We just chatted for a bit and 306 00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:09,960 then we watched a show. We're currently watching the 307 00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:13,300 bear at the moment. Oh man, it is such a good show. 308 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:16,100 I. Love it and it has led to a new 309 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:17,660 hobby for Blair, which has. Been huge. 310 00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:18,660 Yeah. So where? 311 00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:22,080 Ever since having kids, I've really struggled to find a 312 00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:26,030 hobby. You know, before having kids, I 313 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,770 was really into full driving, dirt bike riding, stuff like 314 00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:33,630 that and camping and and loved it and haven't really done it 315 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,270 since and I found it very hard. But ever since watching The 316 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,610 Bear, man, I'm man, do I like cooking? 317 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,670 He's been actually doing very. Well, it's been very fun. 318 00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:48,280 Blair Blair has always been very experimental with his cooking 319 00:14:48,290 --> 00:14:49,810 and he's always enjoyed it when he's done it. 320 00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:52,190 But he doesn't like do too much that often. 321 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:57,090 There have been times where he's just been like, I'll come out to 322 00:14:57,100 --> 00:15:00,650 the kitchen area and he's got this look on his face like so 323 00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:04,980 I'm experimenting and which is awesome, except except that 324 00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:10,840 sometimes the sauce mixtures unresearched and he just. 325 00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:13,600 Experiments. Good experiments without any 326 00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:16,650 kind of anchor. Yeah, and sometimes they're 327 00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,660 great and then other times they're a bit. 328 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,920 This time around. This time around's been great. 329 00:15:20,930 --> 00:15:23,880 Because I'm following guys and stuff, like I'm following actual 330 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,600 recipes. Yeah, but that's been fun too. 331 00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,900 I've been doing that with the kids. 332 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,960 It's been a lot of fun. Just slow and taking our time. 333 00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:33,830 And doing that during holidays is is a lot more doable than 334 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,100 when I'm working. Oh yeah. 335 00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:37,590 It's been a lot of fun. I've really enjoyed it. 336 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:40,990 And usually we're just stress me out, but it's now that I've got 337 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,350 the time. This week it's been a. 338 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,750 Lot of the motivation of bear you could be the Blair. 339 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,690 I am the Blair. You are the Blair. 340 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,660 Yeah, Yeah. So it's been really good. 341 00:15:49,670 --> 00:15:51,390 Good job chef. Thanks, Jeff. 342 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,360 Alright, well, that's chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, 343 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,920 chat. That's been the tea. 344 00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:59,600 That's the tea of the tea chat. Nice. 345 00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:02,180 Thank you for joining us you segment. 346 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:06,460 So we're going to dive in by reading one of our Chatter 347 00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:08,380 questions that we've had written in. 348 00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:09,440 One Patreon? Yep. 349 00:16:09,450 --> 00:16:11,770 Which we thought was a good kind of start for this conversation 350 00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,080 that we're going to be having today. 351 00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:16,340 And it was something that we were planning on doing for our 352 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:19,120 20th episode as well. So I lined up quite well. 353 00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:21,120 So we're going to dive into that now. 354 00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,060 I'll just read it. So this is from my chatter from 355 00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:25,880 Patreon. He writes in and says the idea 356 00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:29,760 of a weekly check in is really good idea, But I have a few 357 00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:32,240 questions. How will this play right when 358 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:36,600 the relationship is quite new or neither partner are able to 359 00:16:36,650 --> 00:16:40,180 actually make good use of it and say things they feel? 360 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:42,790 So that's a really, really good question, especially like, yeah, 361 00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:45,130 so if you're in your new relationship, like how intense 362 00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:51,060 you go in from the beginning. Yeah, I think it it depends on a 363 00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:55,340 few things straight off the bat, like what kind of dynamics 364 00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:56,580 you've got going in the relationship. 365 00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:59,540 Because if it's a very casual relationship, it probably would 366 00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,460 feel a little bit weird to implement a check in night. 367 00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:04,900 If there's like an understanding that, Oh no, we're committed to 368 00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:09,260 each other and we're committed to seeing where this goes, then 369 00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:13,500 I think there's like, there's no, no problem with implementing 370 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,210 something like that. I think probably how you do it 371 00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:17,910 is the bigger thing. So if that was me, I think I'd 372 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:22,390 be like, what if we had a weekly like date night and we just 373 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,630 check and see how we're going And then we go out for dinner or 374 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,329 we have an at home date night or whatever works for you guys. 375 00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:30,370 And instead of it being like, let's have a weekly check in and 376 00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:33,690 just like sit down and make sure that we're on the same page 377 00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,090 about things. Like something that's a bit 378 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:38,030 heavier may feel a bit confronting at the beginning, 379 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,090 but you could make it funner. Instead of it being a heavy 380 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:44,060 thing, just make it a date night and have part of it be that 381 00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:45,230 you're checking in with each other. 382 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,460 I think like, unless she, you know, if you, you only just 383 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:52,220 starting to get to know each other, you know, you don't know 384 00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:54,750 where you're gonna go. I think it's more down to like 385 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,960 once you've made that commitment, Yep, you, you know, 386 00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:59,530 we're together. I won't be intentional about 387 00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:01,610 this. Be intentional about it. 388 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,910 Like I think that's a decision you need to make as well. 389 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,970 Is, you know, do you just want to cruise into this relationship 390 00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:09,990 or do you want to be intentional with this relationship? 391 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,650 Both have its perks. I very much about being 392 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:16,010 intentional, being intentional about the relationship. 393 00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:18,310 Set the tone from the beginning early on. 394 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,470 Not not maybe not the very beginning, but early on, just 395 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,510 set the tone. It's like, alright, I, I hardly 396 00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:25,360 hold this is a high value. I value that we check in, I 397 00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:29,120 value that we're intentional. I value that I can actually, you 398 00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:32,020 know, ask you the questions. How are you going out of 10? 399 00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:34,420 So I know how I could better support you. 400 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,690 I need to know more about you. What's your love language? 401 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,920 All these sorts of stuff. You know, starting to exploring 402 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:41,720 is is so fun, especially in the early days. 403 00:18:41,730 --> 00:18:47,880 There's so much to learn. Yeah, It's like a puzzle is ways 404 00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:51,250 of dating that just are so not my way of dating that it's kind 405 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:54,800 of hard for me to even put my brain in that space. 406 00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:57,410 And I know there would be people that were that are very casual 407 00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:02,290 and they don't want any kind of intense heavy thing put on them. 408 00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:06,750 But if you are someone who has a value for being intentional or 409 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,980 you're like, no, I really do want this kind of culture in my 410 00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:12,140 relationship. I think it's so valid for you to 411 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:14,600 be very clear without the upfront. 412 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:18,090 And if it freaks the other person out, like be gentle with 413 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:19,690 it. Don't be like super like staring 414 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,200 them in the face. And just like we're gonna do 415 00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:22,750 this, this and this and we're gonna get married and blah, 416 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,990 blah, blah. Like that might freak most 417 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,560 people out and on the second or third date, but in introducing, 418 00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:33,050 like you said, this culture of, oh, I'm gonna be intentional. 419 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:35,640 This is important to me. I don't want to muck you around. 420 00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:41,760 I don't think that goes astray. If it if it is confronting and 421 00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:44,660 puts the other person off, then that's probably actually a good 422 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:48,510 thing in the long run because they're not in the same place. 423 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,880 They might not value those kinds of things, which is valid. 424 00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:53,240 But if you value that as a person and you want that for 425 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:56,320 your relationship, being clear that actually I'm, I'm pretty 426 00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:58,370 intentional person. So I'd love to learn these 427 00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:01,830 things about you in the nice gentle way that you introduce 428 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:07,090 that is, I think always going to be a strengthening thing because 429 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,290 the more you can learn about somebody at the beginning. 430 00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:13,800 Gently and in a healthy way. The more you can learn about 431 00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:16,300 them, the better you're gonna be equipped to navigate things. 432 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:19,520 So yeah, I think introducing it in a fun way rather than it 433 00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:22,980 being when we introduced it, it was like we were married. 434 00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:26,700 The check in is specifically and it was, it was out of a 435 00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:30,960 necessity to be kind of addressing things. 436 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,740 And I don't think you need to be in that place to introduce 437 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:36,060 something like this. I think you could wind it back 438 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:40,460 and have it be more casual and more fun, but kind of be that 439 00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:45,220 introduction to having a a time where you are just checking that 440 00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:47,010 the other person's going, OK, Hmm. 441 00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:52,320 And I think how the other part of that question was if, if 442 00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:55,460 people struggle to make the best use of that time, yeah, some 443 00:20:55,470 --> 00:20:58,340 people won't naturally know how to engage with somebody on that 444 00:20:58,350 --> 00:20:59,990 level. They won't know how to say what 445 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,350 they need to say. They won't know how to ask the 446 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,990 questions they need to ask. They weren't even like we've 447 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,840 spoken about. They won't even know how to like 448 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,060 make themselves curious about the other person. 449 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,540 And that's totally fine because everybody comes from a different 450 00:21:13,550 --> 00:21:14,880 place. So it's not it's not that. 451 00:21:14,890 --> 00:21:16,220 Oh, you don't get how to do this. 452 00:21:16,270 --> 00:21:18,010 You don't get how to make this a good time. 453 00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:21,060 OHS then you're not like a good person. 454 00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:24,940 Like there's things you can do if you recognise OHS We come for 455 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,800 these check-in nights or we come for these Hangouts and we never 456 00:21:27,810 --> 00:21:30,260 talk about anything serious. And then we both end up just 457 00:21:30,270 --> 00:21:32,630 being kind of like avoiding what's going on and we're not 458 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,740 really talking about what needs to happen or whatever. 459 00:21:34,810 --> 00:21:38,920 Or we get derailed because one of us gets distracted on their 460 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:41,710 phone or whatever might be. That's making that time not 461 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,100 quality. I think addressing those 462 00:21:45,110 --> 00:21:48,800 specific things and making there be more structure or less 463 00:21:48,810 --> 00:21:51,080 structured depending on what it is you're navigating is really 464 00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:53,460 helpful. So if you're from me, the big 465 00:21:53,470 --> 00:21:55,770 thing when we started these check-ins was I didn't know how 466 00:21:55,780 --> 00:21:59,480 to ask for what I needed. I found it really hard to be 467 00:21:59,540 --> 00:22:01,500 clear with Blair about how I was feeling about things. 468 00:22:02,230 --> 00:22:05,290 And I was also very scared to be confront confrontational because 469 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,460 I'd seen that go so poorly. And so I was kind of stuck. 470 00:22:08,470 --> 00:22:09,920 I didn't know how to raise these things. 471 00:22:09,930 --> 00:22:12,900 I needed to raise without feeling like I was then being 472 00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:17,020 like critical or negative. And so we found it. 473 00:22:17,030 --> 00:22:21,060 Well, I found it really helpful because we, we actually googled 474 00:22:21,070 --> 00:22:24,380 or someone sent us a list of like four or five questions to 475 00:22:24,390 --> 00:22:27,710 just ask every time. And that took a bit of the like 476 00:22:27,750 --> 00:22:31,360 guessing out of it because the question was what something that 477 00:22:31,370 --> 00:22:34,420 you're celebrating this week or what's something that you found 478 00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:36,780 really hard this week? What's something, is there 479 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:39,110 anything that you would like to you need me to know or you need 480 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:42,460 to make me aware of How is our budget going like stuff like 481 00:22:42,470 --> 00:22:44,540 that? And it was instead of it being 482 00:22:44,550 --> 00:22:49,140 like, so something I want to talk to you about is this thing 483 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,590 that's really hard and I have to like break it to you. 484 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,370 It was like almost like you asking, so is there anything you 485 00:22:54,380 --> 00:22:56,210 want to tell me about? And so that just kind of like 486 00:22:56,220 --> 00:23:00,140 makes it easier for you to communicate in that space, makes 487 00:23:00,150 --> 00:23:02,250 it easier if you're coming to the nights and you're like, I 488 00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:04,610 don't know what to do. You got a list of things to do. 489 00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:07,610 And it feels kind of weird maybe, but it's not weird. 490 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:12,050 Like we compensate for our weaknesses in every area of life 491 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:15,240 in order to become stronger. And this is just one of those 492 00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:18,570 ways of doing that. No, I agree. 493 00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:21,130 And I think it's like, don't put too much pressure on yourself. 494 00:23:21,140 --> 00:23:23,030 Like we've said, enjoy the beginning. 495 00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:24,670 Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Yeah. 496 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,850 You know, just have make fun. Like make make it fun. 497 00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:30,750 Don't don't get too serious too fast. 498 00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:33,870 Doesn't mean you can't be serious at the beginning, but 499 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,050 you don't want to get too far that way. 500 00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:37,890 Just enjoy each other's company and figure out is this going 501 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:38,770 somewhere? Is it not? 502 00:23:38,780 --> 00:23:42,030 You know and see where you are as a couple, what your vibe 503 00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:45,790 you're dynamic is and what, what kind of pace works for you in 504 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,710 that way. And one thing I would say too 505 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:52,070 though, is if this is a priority for you, don't wait for them. 506 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,720 You know, you start your journey in being prepared and being 507 00:23:55,730 --> 00:23:59,300 intentional with yourself. Like how start exploring these 508 00:23:59,310 --> 00:24:01,620 things about yourself. You know, what triggers you, 509 00:24:01,630 --> 00:24:04,260 what you know, what baggage are you bringing to the 510 00:24:04,270 --> 00:24:06,740 relationship? What values do you have? 511 00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:09,620 Because when you understand that more, it's gonna be a lot easier 512 00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:11,950 to be for you to be able to share that to your partner when 513 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:13,240 the time is right. Absolutely. 514 00:24:13,250 --> 00:24:16,030 Yeah, yeah. And be curious about the other 515 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,410 person if they say they talk about this in networking as 516 00:24:19,420 --> 00:24:20,890 well. If you're meeting people for the 517 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,120 first time, the best thing you can do is ask them questions 518 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:26,180 about themselves because people find it easier to talk about 519 00:24:26,190 --> 00:24:29,300 themselves, especially if they've been asked questions for 520 00:24:29,310 --> 00:24:32,320 the most part. So if you are struggling, if you 521 00:24:32,330 --> 00:24:34,920 like Blair said, if you're finding it a priority for you 522 00:24:34,930 --> 00:24:37,480 and you're not sure where your partner's at, do that work for 523 00:24:37,490 --> 00:24:40,200 yourself. And instead of being like, 524 00:24:40,250 --> 00:24:42,420 what's something I need to raise with them that I'm struggling 525 00:24:42,430 --> 00:24:44,860 with them, be like what how's away? 526 00:24:44,870 --> 00:24:48,400 I can like ask them how they're going and be curious about them. 527 00:24:48,590 --> 00:24:51,740 So you and if you're coming together on these nights and 528 00:24:51,750 --> 00:24:54,250 it's a bit comfortable, just be curious about your partner in a 529 00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:56,900 neutral uplifting way. And that's one of the best 530 00:24:56,910 --> 00:24:59,650 things about the check in Knights is it is a neutral time. 531 00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:02,830 It should be a neutral time. It shouldn't be OHP. 532 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,860 We've just had an argument. Now we're having a check in like 533 00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:07,890 this is meant to be a time with this set aside neutrally. 534 00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:10,190 So you're coming to it from a place that's not triggered, 535 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,780 you're not coming from a heated conversation or anything like 536 00:25:13,790 --> 00:25:16,980 that. So curiosity, if you're 537 00:25:16,990 --> 00:25:20,550 struggling with this time, put things in place, find questions, 538 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,890 find a place, a time and a night, whatever it might be. 539 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:29,170 That makes it easier for you to do that and just take it at the 540 00:25:29,180 --> 00:25:32,760 pace of your app, I reckon. He just followed up with two 541 00:25:32,770 --> 00:25:34,920 more questions. How was it for you when you 542 00:25:34,930 --> 00:25:37,870 started doing them? So the weekly check-ins and was 543 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,060 it easy to start talking about things? 544 00:25:40,690 --> 00:25:43,460 And I thought, well, let's just bundle those up together. 545 00:25:43,470 --> 00:25:46,050 We were wanting to share a bit of our story anyway on the 20th 546 00:25:46,060 --> 00:25:48,980 episode, helping you guys know a little bit more about us, where 547 00:25:48,990 --> 00:25:51,120 our journey start, all that sort of stuff. 548 00:25:51,130 --> 00:25:52,960 And I thought, it's all going to get answered through that 549 00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:57,640 anyway, plus something to that. Hey guys, just wanted to pop in 550 00:25:57,650 --> 00:26:00,840 and take a SEC to talk about the extra content you can find over 551 00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:03,120 on our Patreon and our Spotify subscription. 552 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:05,940 We have a fun little community growing over there with extra 553 00:26:05,950 --> 00:26:09,400 episodes, extra stories. We're also gonna have resources, 554 00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:13,330 messages back and forth, and also submitting listener stories 555 00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:16,340 through that portal as well, so. Sorry, outro theme. 556 00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:19,940 Themes, there's lots to be gained If you want to be a part 557 00:26:19,950 --> 00:26:23,380 of our closer knit community here at honey, we need to chat. 558 00:26:23,390 --> 00:26:27,510 Please hop on over to Patreon or Spotify subscriptions and join 559 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:28,940 us there. We would love to see you. 560 00:26:29,010 --> 00:26:30,200 Thanks guys. Thanks. 561 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,770 Yes, the 20 episodes in we thought it would be good to 562 00:26:33,780 --> 00:26:37,710 introduce you to us. Hi have been more hi where Amy 563 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,860 and Blair and we've also been talking a lot about the 564 00:26:40,870 --> 00:26:43,850 importance of story from our New Zealand trip. 565 00:26:43,890 --> 00:26:46,210 Since then it's been something that's really come out in our 566 00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:47,450 content. It's been something's come out 567 00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:50,340 in our family and just the importance of knowing a little 568 00:26:50,350 --> 00:26:53,880 bit more about each other and the significance of that brings 569 00:26:53,890 --> 00:26:56,290 to how we're operating now. And that's the same for you 570 00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:59,560 guys. Listening to our episodes is one 571 00:26:59,570 --> 00:27:03,590 thing, and then knowing a little bit more about us might add a 572 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,700 bit more depth to that, or bit more like perspective from where 573 00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:09,120 we're coming from and that kind of thing. 574 00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:11,520 One being, why does Amy's voice sound so weird? 575 00:27:11,650 --> 00:27:13,260 Yeah, I don't know if we've ever said that. 576 00:27:13,270 --> 00:27:16,400 Maybe we have but my voice sounds a little bit weird and 577 00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:17,640 that's it. Different. 578 00:27:17,710 --> 00:27:20,000 Sounds a bit weird. Yeah, different. 579 00:27:20,050 --> 00:27:20,980 Different. Yeah. 580 00:27:21,050 --> 00:27:22,720 So we're going to introduce ourselves. 581 00:27:22,770 --> 00:27:27,470 So I'm Amy. I am 33 years old and I am from 582 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,790 Australia. I do have a mixed international 583 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,970 accent which sounds Snooty. Sounds like I'm what's Snooty 584 00:27:32,980 --> 00:27:36,410 Snooty like I'm international. I'm sorry, I think something 585 00:27:36,420 --> 00:27:37,950 like your accent sounds smoothies. 586 00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:43,350 No, well, I don't know, maybe it's sounds Snooty, but it also 587 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:46,330 sounds like, and I'm very aware of this sounds like someone 588 00:27:46,340 --> 00:27:48,890 who's trying to do an accent and failing miserably. 589 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,200 Very aware. That makes sense to you. 590 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,250 No, but I've experienced other people doing that and I'm like, 591 00:27:55,260 --> 00:27:56,590 Oh no, that's. Me. 592 00:27:56,750 --> 00:27:58,410 Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 593 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,580 So I'm aware of that mostly because, well, the podcast is a 594 00:28:02,590 --> 00:28:05,720 huge thing, but also I'm really into drama like I've mentioned. 595 00:28:05,730 --> 00:28:08,800 And I just, I can't nail the Aussie accent and I can't nail 596 00:28:08,810 --> 00:28:11,590 the American accent and I can't nail any other accent because 597 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,820 I'm not great accents. So I just am what I am. 598 00:28:15,910 --> 00:28:18,400 But that's OK. So I do have, I do have an 599 00:28:18,410 --> 00:28:21,080 international accent and that is because I grew up in Papua New 600 00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:23,280 Guinea. I was there from the age of 8 to 601 00:28:23,290 --> 00:28:25,550 18. My dad was a helicopter pilot 602 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:30,940 with a mission organisation. And so I, yeah, was, I grew up 603 00:28:30,950 --> 00:28:33,860 in an international community, which was amazing. 604 00:28:33,870 --> 00:28:35,850 Most of my friends, we're actually American. 605 00:28:36,060 --> 00:28:42,140 My school was an American style style structure and then I came 606 00:28:42,150 --> 00:28:44,720 back when I graduated high school to Australia, which is 607 00:28:44,770 --> 00:28:48,830 I'm from Melbourne in Australia. I, I did not know what I wanted 608 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,880 to do. So my, you'll hear us allude to 609 00:28:52,890 --> 00:28:56,990 stuff in our episodes about our histories and we're never going 610 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,520 to dig deep into like our families or like our backgrounds 611 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:02,450 and stuff. That's not important for the 612 00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:05,060 world to know. It's not gonna probably come out 613 00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:08,220 and that's OK. But, you know, I grew up as an, 614 00:29:08,270 --> 00:29:12,100 the eldest of four kids and I was very stressed all the time 615 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:15,140 and my family dynamics were a little bit tough growing up. 616 00:29:15,210 --> 00:29:17,440 I love my family and I'm really close with them, but there was 617 00:29:17,450 --> 00:29:21,090 difficult dynamics. And so I came into adulthood not 618 00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:26,330 really sure what I wanted to do in life at all and had quite a 619 00:29:26,340 --> 00:29:29,080 few years just being like floaty, even just in terms of 620 00:29:29,090 --> 00:29:31,100 what I was interested in work wise. 621 00:29:31,310 --> 00:29:33,460 I just didn't, I didn't understand myself at all. 622 00:29:33,470 --> 00:29:37,180 And I had spent so long being stressed about life that I just 623 00:29:37,190 --> 00:29:39,440 felt, I've said this as well in the podcast, I didn't feel 624 00:29:39,450 --> 00:29:43,780 present until I was like well into my 20s even I think into 625 00:29:43,790 --> 00:29:46,860 our marriage kind of thing. So I kind of feel like I just 626 00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:52,170 floated through life, but then I I did started studying multiple 627 00:29:52,180 --> 00:29:54,620 times I. It's starting again. 628 00:29:54,630 --> 00:29:59,300 Now, and I am studying this time I will finish. 629 00:29:59,730 --> 00:30:03,640 I started studying with the idea of teaching because there was so 630 00:30:03,650 --> 00:30:06,320 many things that I thought was that sounded good. 631 00:30:06,630 --> 00:30:08,580 And I was like, maybe I'll be a teacher. 632 00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:12,520 But to be fair you can do everything though like you are a 633 00:30:12,530 --> 00:30:14,720 Unicorn. You seriously pick up stuff so 634 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,200 much and you're interests are so broad. 635 00:30:18,340 --> 00:30:20,940 And understand that about myself though, at the time I just felt 636 00:30:20,950 --> 00:30:23,820 like a failure because I was like, I can't finish anything. 637 00:30:23,890 --> 00:30:28,500 And and I'm also not long term interested in any one thing 638 00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:31,320 necessarily. There's some stuff that the 639 00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:34,480 broadly speaking, I'm interested in that area and that's kind of 640 00:30:34,490 --> 00:30:36,860 stayed the same way. But there wasn't like, so I 641 00:30:36,870 --> 00:30:38,970 decided to pursue teaching because people kept saying, oh, 642 00:30:38,980 --> 00:30:40,760 you'd be a great teacher. And I was like, yeah, it could 643 00:30:40,770 --> 00:30:43,540 be interesting. So I did a year. 644 00:30:43,610 --> 00:30:45,210 I did a year. And actually that teaching 645 00:30:45,220 --> 00:30:49,260 degree ended up being major in psychology because I had, it's a 646 00:30:49,270 --> 00:30:51,800 long boring story, but basically I couldn't do teaching straight 647 00:30:51,810 --> 00:30:53,000 up. I had to do something else 1st. 648 00:30:53,010 --> 00:30:57,560 And so I majored in psychology, which I love, but I hate like 649 00:30:57,830 --> 00:31:00,240 study. I just wanted practical stuff. 650 00:31:00,310 --> 00:31:03,320 I hated all the theory, like not the theory that was interesting, 651 00:31:03,330 --> 00:31:06,940 but just kind of like the writing essays and finding 652 00:31:06,950 --> 00:31:09,080 sources and stuff like that was like, no. 653 00:31:09,230 --> 00:31:12,850 So anyway, I did that for a year and then I dropped out and then 654 00:31:12,860 --> 00:31:15,080 I applied for an acting school and I did not get in. 655 00:31:16,470 --> 00:31:20,560 Moms like, why don't you travel and experience outside of your 656 00:31:20,570 --> 00:31:23,240 little world for a time? And I was like, I have travelled 657 00:31:23,250 --> 00:31:25,580 my whole life. I don't need to travel. 658 00:31:25,630 --> 00:31:29,600 And then I, the, the next night I was like looking up where to 659 00:31:29,610 --> 00:31:31,400 travel. So then I ended up going to 660 00:31:31,410 --> 00:31:36,430 Spain for six months for a short course over there, which was and 661 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:41,370 experience and then I came home and I suddenly met my now 662 00:31:41,380 --> 00:31:42,850 husband. Yeah, he did. 663 00:31:42,860 --> 00:31:45,810 A couple weeks after arriving home and then life got a lot 664 00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:50,110 clearer, so that was cool. Yeah, so I I grew up in rural 665 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,850 Victoria. Well, I was born in rural, rural 666 00:31:52,860 --> 00:31:57,350 Rectoria, grew up in rural Victoria, and my dad's a 667 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,850 bricklayer. I was on the job site early, 668 00:32:00,900 --> 00:32:02,750 early years maybe. I don't know. 669 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,890 I'm terrible time frames and remembering things. 670 00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:08,450 But maybe around six, between 6:00 and 9:00, I started going 671 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,430 to the job sites. I've been working. 672 00:32:10,990 --> 00:32:15,920 Um, yeah, obviously not full time, but I'm, I'm used to the 673 00:32:15,930 --> 00:32:18,950 workforce. We moved to Queensland when I 674 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:24,590 was nine and did my schooling and everything up there until 675 00:32:24,660 --> 00:32:26,230 area it was, it was pretty rough. 676 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,770 It was pretty rough. And moved back to back to rural 677 00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:34,570 Victoria again when I was 16 and I had a bit of a colourful 678 00:32:34,580 --> 00:32:37,230 background back then. So I moved away from pretty 679 00:32:37,910 --> 00:32:39,680 scary dudes, I guess you could say. 680 00:32:39,850 --> 00:32:41,770 And there was a bit of an escape for me. 681 00:32:41,780 --> 00:32:47,230 I was trying to get away from that and then I probably played 682 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:52,670 footy, Australian football for many years as well, so really 683 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,870 focused on for me, me and my brother. 684 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,540 So I got a brother, one older brother. 685 00:32:58,450 --> 00:33:02,160 We what was really invested into us was work ethic and teamwork. 686 00:33:02,170 --> 00:33:05,000 And we got that through being on the job site and playing 687 00:33:05,010 --> 00:33:07,440 football. You know, it's just, yeah, we 688 00:33:07,450 --> 00:33:09,180 just worked really, really well together. 689 00:33:09,250 --> 00:33:11,600 We didn't not get along at all growing up. 690 00:33:11,610 --> 00:33:14,020 Well, from my perspective, we didn't get along growing up at 691 00:33:14,030 --> 00:33:16,380 all. But really, really, really 692 00:33:16,390 --> 00:33:18,130 close. Now we're each other's best man 693 00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:20,140 at our weddings, which was great. 694 00:33:20,610 --> 00:33:26,060 But just after he got married, I went over seas for two years. 695 00:33:26,070 --> 00:33:28,240 I was on a on a mission ship for two years. 696 00:33:28,250 --> 00:33:31,920 So sailed around pretty much middle from the Middle East 697 00:33:31,930 --> 00:33:36,200 through till South East Asia. And I left in Hong Kong after my 698 00:33:36,210 --> 00:33:40,760 second year where I worked in an engine room and OHS man, I when 699 00:33:40,770 --> 00:33:43,620 I joined there, I was really keen just to sort of get 700 00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:47,030 outside, see and do all this Christian ministry stuff, which 701 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,280 was something really, really cool. 702 00:33:48,290 --> 00:33:51,440 But reality was I was stuck in the engine room pretty much for 703 00:33:51,450 --> 00:33:53,100 two years. The first year they taught me 704 00:33:53,110 --> 00:33:55,750 welding and because of my trade background, I was used to tools. 705 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:59,140 So they taught me welding and I was welding, welding for the 706 00:33:59,150 --> 00:34:02,270 first year. So I had to really struggle at 707 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,030 the end of that year. There was a lot of burnout and 708 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,270 intense things happened and got put into a leadership role of 709 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,010 the engine room. And I'd never been in leadership 710 00:34:11,020 --> 00:34:18,469 before in my life, like never. And for me, it, it was really 711 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:22,949 strange. Like it was such a fit for me. 712 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,150 I was super nervous about it. I had zero interest in leading 713 00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:29,250 anyone. And but it really was a natural 714 00:34:29,260 --> 00:34:31,050 fit for me. And I've been in leadership ever 715 00:34:31,060 --> 00:34:32,790 since. It was like, I just, it was like 716 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,960 at that moment I discovered, I don't know. 717 00:34:34,969 --> 00:34:37,250 I don't know what you call it. You found your place. 718 00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:40,840 Yeah, I found like, and it was like I found my place like in 719 00:34:40,850 --> 00:34:43,800 the workforce, you know, when I'm, when I'm more naturalised, 720 00:34:43,810 --> 00:34:49,360 it wasn't, you know, for me, I'm not really I, I don't have this 721 00:34:49,370 --> 00:34:53,000 high drive just to do work. I have to do meaningful work. 722 00:34:53,010 --> 00:34:58,280 It has to really feel that that spot for me where we're making a 723 00:34:58,290 --> 00:35:00,400 difference in the world. You know, I have to, it has to 724 00:35:00,410 --> 00:35:04,740 be a cause behind it. But I can't just do any job like 725 00:35:04,750 --> 00:35:10,340 I, I get now if I'm just doing any job, I get really restless. 726 00:35:10,350 --> 00:35:12,590 I'm in the next thing and I'm always about growing and 727 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:16,010 strategizing and so forth, which has been quite fun to recognise 728 00:35:16,020 --> 00:35:18,740 within myself. But with that comes at a cost 729 00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:22,480 because I think leadership is, can be a very lonely thing, but 730 00:35:22,490 --> 00:35:26,190 also my, my work ethic has its up and downs. 731 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:30,030 I can be quite chill or I can be very, very intense and burnout 732 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,270 and which I've done multiple times and I've shared on here 733 00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:35,910 quite a bit. And every time I stop, I get 734 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,270 sick and like now. So anyway, so I was on there for 735 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:46,250 two years and came back and I got a offered an internship at a 736 00:35:46,260 --> 00:35:50,130 church when I came back down in Melbourne and I was there for 737 00:35:50,140 --> 00:35:55,970 one year and I met you. You had just come back from 738 00:35:56,380 --> 00:35:58,850 Spain and I came up and I saw you. 739 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,140 I went and visited your church and I don't know, we made eye 740 00:36:02,150 --> 00:36:03,130 contact. We did. 741 00:36:03,140 --> 00:36:04,360 We did. You were at the front of the 742 00:36:04,370 --> 00:36:05,980 church. I was in the back of the church. 743 00:36:06,050 --> 00:36:09,510 You did something at the front and turned around and we made 744 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,020 eye contact. And actually in that moment, and 745 00:36:12,030 --> 00:36:13,920 this is no, no joke, this is no joke. 746 00:36:13,930 --> 00:36:17,540 I'm like wife material. Never met Amy before, never knew 747 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:20,570 anything really about her. I actually worked for her uncle. 748 00:36:20,850 --> 00:36:24,560 She worked in the cafe next door to my office and never saw her 749 00:36:24,570 --> 00:36:27,160 in my life. Never saw her in my life. 750 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,560 Made eye contact and I'm like, that's wife material. 751 00:36:30,030 --> 00:36:34,930 I never really had a girlfriend before meeting Amy and I was 752 00:36:34,940 --> 00:36:37,260 never really interested in having a girlfriend. 753 00:36:37,270 --> 00:36:42,690 I always wanted a wife. I think because for me, I, you 754 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:46,390 know, I, I've been in those like interests, you know, I mean, 755 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,450 there's like love interest situations, situations, yeah, 756 00:36:49,460 --> 00:36:53,400 but never anything further. I was so sick of it. 757 00:36:53,410 --> 00:36:55,550 Like I'm just like this, I'm so over this. 758 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,860 I'm so over like, do you like me? 759 00:36:57,870 --> 00:37:00,090 Do you don't like me? Do you like me do you don't like 760 00:37:00,100 --> 00:37:03,490 me or, or getting led on or whatever else? 761 00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:06,450 Like I just had zero type. Yeah, I, I was never about the 762 00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:11,810 game. And so anyway, I, I saw, saw Amy 763 00:37:11,820 --> 00:37:14,880 and then after, after the church service, I went pretty much 764 00:37:14,890 --> 00:37:18,290 straight up to you and I introduced myself and then you 765 00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:20,870 walked away. I didn't just walk away, I just 766 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,830 was. I was just very intimidated 767 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,150 because I had the same moment when we met eyes. 768 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:28,490 It was really weird. And I. 769 00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:30,490 She looked at me and she's like wife. 770 00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:35,150 Material Wife material Never seen more waffle material in my 771 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:39,460 life. I would never have ever if 772 00:37:39,470 --> 00:37:41,300 anyone had said do you believe in love at first sight? 773 00:37:41,310 --> 00:37:44,780 I was like, that is ridiculous. And it wasn't like I was in love 774 00:37:44,790 --> 00:37:47,600 with you, but I knew straight away that you were significant 775 00:37:47,990 --> 00:37:51,120 to my story. And it got weirder after that. 776 00:37:51,130 --> 00:37:54,650 But just like like as in like even more moments of it, just 777 00:37:54,660 --> 00:37:56,680 like these weird things over the next few weeks. 778 00:37:56,690 --> 00:38:00,220 But I would never have ever said that I believed in that. 779 00:38:00,230 --> 00:38:02,930 And I still now if I'm like talking to people that are in 780 00:38:02,940 --> 00:38:06,370 the dating world, I'm still not like I'm still like, there's not 781 00:38:06,430 --> 00:38:08,840 one person that yeah, I really believe that. 782 00:38:08,910 --> 00:38:11,500 But there was something really significant with you is which is 783 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,710 amazing. I was very well timed for me and 784 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:18,920 for for I guess for us, but for the different significances for 785 00:38:18,930 --> 00:38:21,060 us. It was good that it worked out 786 00:38:21,070 --> 00:38:23,630 the way that it did, but because of that, I was intimidated. 787 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,430 When I walked up to you, you were with some friends of mine. 788 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:28,450 Yeah. Yeah. 789 00:38:28,460 --> 00:38:30,630 I was intimidated already. And so I was trying to act cool, 790 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,690 calm and collected. And then I thought I made, I 791 00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:36,190 thought I made small talk. And then? 792 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,830 Well, not really. So I asked. 793 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:42,170 So I think I, it was the conversation went for about two 794 00:38:42,180 --> 00:38:44,330 minutes or something, right. And I, I came up with a 795 00:38:44,340 --> 00:38:46,030 conversation. It was something like, ohhhhh. 796 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:47,620 So you just come back, you know, where you been? 797 00:38:47,630 --> 00:38:49,880 You like, and I said like, oh, what's your accent or something? 798 00:38:49,890 --> 00:38:51,030 Like I grew up in Papua New Guinea. 799 00:38:52,460 --> 00:38:54,980 And. Two, yeah, I'm not even from 800 00:38:54,990 --> 00:38:57,680 here. And then in and I'm like, oh, 801 00:38:57,690 --> 00:38:59,280 cool. And you didn't give me anything. 802 00:38:59,330 --> 00:39:03,530 It was, it was, it was like. But it was enough to keep you 803 00:39:03,540 --> 00:39:05,810 interested. You didn't lose interest in. 804 00:39:05,820 --> 00:39:07,190 No. Well then you walked away. 805 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,910 I'm like, alright, I'll secure myself to be like, cool, you're 806 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,630 not interested. You know, I mean, so that's The 807 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,290 thing is like, I never wanted a girlfriend. 808 00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:16,620 I always wanted a wife. But I still put myself out there 809 00:39:16,630 --> 00:39:19,230 to test the waters, you know, and. 810 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:21,030 Then find a wife if you don't test the water. 811 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,260 Yeah, you got. It's all about the waters and 812 00:39:23,270 --> 00:39:28,150 then number of months later, a month later or something like 813 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:29,970 that. Your cousin. 814 00:39:30,060 --> 00:39:34,330 Baby, Oh my gosh, what there and his time for what was it? 815 00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:36,130 Oh my gosh. What are the next day? 816 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,070 Literally the next weekend, OK. Cool. 817 00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:40,450 Sweet. Actually, I could be wrong, but 818 00:39:40,460 --> 00:39:41,890 I think it was an excellent. Yeah, cool. 819 00:39:41,940 --> 00:39:44,430 Well, sometime in the near future, Yeah. 820 00:39:44,500 --> 00:39:46,090 After that moment. Within the week. 821 00:39:46,140 --> 00:39:49,170 Yeah, we. It was your cousin in law's 822 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,150 birthday party that we both knew. 823 00:39:51,220 --> 00:39:54,510 Yeah. And I saw you there again, and I 824 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:58,410 came over and I was making my move, and you walked away. 825 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,220 Maybe you just didn't talk fast. Enough. 826 00:40:00,230 --> 00:40:02,140 And I was like, this guys not gonna talk fast enough. 827 00:40:02,260 --> 00:40:04,980 He's gonna get his conversation out there fast enough and I'm 828 00:40:04,990 --> 00:40:06,470 gonna be awkward. I'm just gonna walk away. 829 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,470 What do you mean? Like I get awkward if people 830 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,390 don't talk and then I. I literally came up and had a 831 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,710 conversation with you. It was like, hey Amy, how you 832 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:18,210 doing? Do you wanna date? 833 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,680 Do you want some of this? I don't remember that. 834 00:40:21,870 --> 00:40:23,770 I do remember that. I don't remember what we talked 835 00:40:23,780 --> 00:40:26,490 about. Anyway, my sister went to his 836 00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:28,620 youth group that week as well, and she came home. 837 00:40:28,630 --> 00:40:30,770 She said, Amy, I met the man you're going to marry. 838 00:40:31,340 --> 00:40:35,220 Is it Blair? And she's like, yes, sounds like 839 00:40:35,230 --> 00:40:38,350 everybody saying that. And I to this day, I don't know 840 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,160 who everybody is. I don't know why I said that, 841 00:40:40,170 --> 00:40:42,830 but I remember clearly being like, everyone is saying that. 842 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,300 Yeah. It's probably just my head. 843 00:40:44,410 --> 00:40:46,900 Yeah, my head was all the voices in my head was saying it. 844 00:40:46,910 --> 00:40:49,460 Yeah. Yeah, and then you added me on 845 00:40:49,470 --> 00:40:52,260 Facebook and we had Facebook romance. 846 00:40:52,270 --> 00:40:55,140 Yeah, they've got all of those chats printed out, actually. 847 00:40:55,530 --> 00:40:57,900 Blair will never read them, but I will. 848 00:40:57,910 --> 00:41:00,880 And I'll show them to my kids and I make them read them. 849 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,860 Do which ones am I True, true, faithful children. 850 00:41:05,050 --> 00:41:07,660 But yeah, we, we chatted on Facebook and then everything 851 00:41:07,730 --> 00:41:10,020 grew from there. And from the very beginning, it 852 00:41:10,030 --> 00:41:11,430 was super intentional. Yeah. 853 00:41:11,490 --> 00:41:15,140 And actually, the way the boy told me he liked me, was he just 854 00:41:15,150 --> 00:41:17,310 messaged because we're like messaging for, I don't know, a 855 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,380 couple weeks or something. And I was like, really confused 856 00:41:20,390 --> 00:41:22,470 if you liked me or not. But you were very like 857 00:41:22,770 --> 00:41:25,100 intentional. I I felt very much like you were 858 00:41:25,450 --> 00:41:27,740 intentionally talking to me. But I was like, maybe he's like 859 00:41:27,750 --> 00:41:28,920 this with everybody. I don't know. 860 00:41:29,030 --> 00:41:31,300 And my cousin's like, yeah, I think he's just very friendly. 861 00:41:31,850 --> 00:41:35,440 Maybe he doesn't like that. And then you just message me one 862 00:41:35,450 --> 00:41:36,540 night. I remember I was sitting in my 863 00:41:36,550 --> 00:41:40,070 laundry room with my family, and we were talking. 864 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,030 And then you're like, so obviously I like you, but I just 865 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,910 want to be really like, I want to take things slow and just be 866 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,090 really careful and intentional. And you did not ask if I liked 867 00:41:48,100 --> 00:41:50,110 you. And I just remember being like, 868 00:41:50,180 --> 00:41:51,830 OK, yeah. You weren't like. 869 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,630 And your face went red. Yeah, My face went red and I 870 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,530 screenshot it and I sent it to my friends. 871 00:41:56,540 --> 00:41:57,250 Oh, really? Yeah. 872 00:41:57,260 --> 00:42:00,330 And I was like, Oh my gosh, this guys not even asking if I like 873 00:42:00,340 --> 00:42:01,750 him. He's just so confident that I 874 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,710 do, which I did. And just so like, intentional, 875 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,630 like from the beginning, just very much like, this is what we 876 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:07,910 should do. I think we should be really 877 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,750 careful and intentional and blah, blah, blah. 878 00:42:09,820 --> 00:42:12,030 And then we started being intentional. 879 00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:16,620 So we didn't like and we we dated, but we didn't I we'd 880 00:42:16,630 --> 00:42:19,240 labelled it back then when we're young, We didn't officially 881 00:42:19,250 --> 00:42:20,960 start dating. No, we dated. 882 00:42:20,970 --> 00:42:22,940 We, we did, we did everything else like that. 883 00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:26,100 A dating couple would we, you know, we're pretty much dating. 884 00:42:26,110 --> 00:42:31,840 But it was for me was I was so aware of what I did not want 885 00:42:31,850 --> 00:42:34,170 that I did not want to waste time. 886 00:42:34,210 --> 00:42:37,520 So again, like I, I finally found someone that like I could, 887 00:42:37,530 --> 00:42:39,540 I could really see something here. 888 00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:43,320 And for the first time, I'd, I'd felt that, but this I was still, 889 00:42:43,700 --> 00:42:46,860 look, this is going to be a big thing for me, for us to actually 890 00:42:46,870 --> 00:42:49,590 get to that point where we want to, where I want the 891 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:53,520 relationship to be, where I want our relationship to be, not just 892 00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:56,400 with, you know, whether it was with you or not. 893 00:42:56,650 --> 00:42:59,060 I knew this was gonna be intentional thing for me. 894 00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:03,720 I had to make sure that I was gonna be working on myself 895 00:43:03,730 --> 00:43:06,010 because I had a lot of things I was still working through. 896 00:43:06,070 --> 00:43:08,300 So cool. I like you. 897 00:43:08,420 --> 00:43:12,090 And it's a bit arrogant of me to say I've obviously I like you 898 00:43:12,100 --> 00:43:14,960 and I didn't ask you how, if you, how you feel about me, but 899 00:43:14,970 --> 00:43:16,960 for me, I was just so intentional from the beginning. 900 00:43:17,030 --> 00:43:20,360 Look, alright, cool. If you like me, I'm that guy. 901 00:43:20,490 --> 00:43:22,050 This is the sort of guy that I am. 902 00:43:22,060 --> 00:43:25,510 I am going to be intentional. I'm not going to beat around the 903 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:29,190 Bush for this. This is my fears of divorce. 904 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,290 The word divorce is of fear of mine. 905 00:43:31,340 --> 00:43:34,690 And so I had something. I can do something about that 906 00:43:34,980 --> 00:43:37,730 now by being upfront from the very beginning. 907 00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:40,220 This is the sort of guy I am and this is the sort of relationship 908 00:43:40,230 --> 00:43:41,930 that I want. Are you in for it? 909 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,490 If not, that's fine. Let's finish here. 910 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:45,900 I'll be sending today's words to you. 911 00:43:45,910 --> 00:43:47,630 But this is what was going in my head. 912 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,030 If, if this is not what you're in for, I want to know now. 913 00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,670 So I'm going to be intentional. I'm going to be upfront from the 914 00:43:53,740 --> 00:43:58,020 very beginning. And then from there we sort of 915 00:43:58,030 --> 00:44:01,600 the unofficial dating stage. What that looks like was just 916 00:44:01,610 --> 00:44:04,680 take like we'll spend time together, we'd go on dates, 917 00:44:04,690 --> 00:44:10,040 we're dating, but we also had some older couples speaking into 918 00:44:10,050 --> 00:44:12,560 that relationship. And again, it wasn't necessarily 919 00:44:12,570 --> 00:44:16,900 about them speaking to if we are good for each other. 920 00:44:16,990 --> 00:44:21,740 It was more about what are we working on is individuals like 921 00:44:21,750 --> 00:44:24,380 how are we growing as individuals and how is that 922 00:44:24,390 --> 00:44:27,720 complement each other and like how should a relationship look? 923 00:44:27,730 --> 00:44:29,340 But also lessons that they've learned. 924 00:44:29,350 --> 00:44:31,950 So it wasn't even just talk us talking about ourselves the 925 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,830 whole time. It was really about these older 926 00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,550 couples just sharing with us their stories and things that 927 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,560 they had learned about each other and how they went about 928 00:44:39,570 --> 00:44:42,110 that, the mistakes they made. Because like, when you hear 929 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,110 those sorts of mistakes, you gotta learn from other people, 930 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,270 right? So anyway, we're just a sponge 931 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:51,250 in those early days of just catching up with older couples, 932 00:44:51,260 --> 00:44:56,210 hearing their stories and and getting to speak into yeah, our, 933 00:44:56,220 --> 00:44:59,270 our relationship and, and us as individuals. 934 00:45:00,060 --> 00:45:02,990 And thankfully, like we were both were just very ready to be 935 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,030 very intentional, like it just happened. 936 00:45:05,410 --> 00:45:07,940 And maybe that's why it worked the way that it worked. 937 00:45:08,210 --> 00:45:10,370 But we both came at it from that perspective. 938 00:45:10,380 --> 00:45:13,960 I'd seen my parents marriage struggle that my whole life and 939 00:45:14,010 --> 00:45:17,700 and I knew what I I knew what I had unpicked watching them and I 940 00:45:17,710 --> 00:45:21,280 knew what I didn't want to be taking into my marriage and what 941 00:45:21,290 --> 00:45:25,860 I need is to be aware of. And so and I was tired of dating 942 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,220 and I was tired of that whole exactly what you said, the the 943 00:45:29,230 --> 00:45:31,780 games or the confusion or whatever. 944 00:45:31,790 --> 00:45:35,210 I just wanted to be intentional. And so thankfully that worked 945 00:45:35,220 --> 00:45:37,780 out really, really well for us. And we, Blair was doing his 946 00:45:37,790 --> 00:45:40,900 internship at the church and then decided she was second year 947 00:45:40,970 --> 00:45:44,180 and I also decided to do the internship with him. 948 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:49,910 And so that was that led us into an even more intensive time of 949 00:45:49,970 --> 00:45:51,820 getting to know each other because we were working together 950 00:45:51,830 --> 00:45:55,800 as well as dating. And that just provided so many 951 00:45:55,810 --> 00:45:59,600 opportunities, difficult some of them, but really, really 952 00:45:59,610 --> 00:46:03,480 challenging in a good way. Opportunities to learn about 953 00:46:03,490 --> 00:46:06,740 each other, how we worked, how we what we struggled with, what 954 00:46:06,750 --> 00:46:10,080 our weaknesses were, but also about how we like helped make 955 00:46:10,090 --> 00:46:12,600 each other stronger. So what that looks like, you 956 00:46:12,610 --> 00:46:15,670 know, in the internship, we actually did a few, quite a few 957 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,940 personality tests and things because when we first start 958 00:46:17,950 --> 00:46:20,350 working together, Amy and I are complete opposites. 959 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:24,220 We didn't really know that. We just knew that we clashed and 960 00:46:24,230 --> 00:46:26,050 the way that we worked together cause we just worked so 961 00:46:26,060 --> 00:46:29,430 differently. So I'm very well organised, 962 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,490 mapped out. This is what we're doing over 963 00:46:31,500 --> 00:46:34,850 this big picture in mind. I'm a very big picture person 964 00:46:34,860 --> 00:46:38,200 and I skip details, right? This is, this is the sort of 965 00:46:38,210 --> 00:46:41,450 person I am. Well, Amy is more slower to get 966 00:46:41,460 --> 00:46:44,250 the things going, but she will always get it done. 967 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,670 But for me, it would stress me out so much. 968 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,190 But she's really good at the details and going along with it, 969 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,590 you know, and picking up all those things going away, which 970 00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,870 is where I struggled. So yeah, it was trust me, it's 971 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,150 so much. And and, you know, I'm still 972 00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:00,790 quite new to leadership. This is my fourth year in a 973 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:02,650 leadership role, which is still quite new. 974 00:47:02,660 --> 00:47:05,010 The first, no, sorry, third year, first year was on the 975 00:47:05,020 --> 00:47:06,770 ship. Second year, what are the 976 00:47:06,780 --> 00:47:09,300 church? Very, two very, very different 977 00:47:09,310 --> 00:47:11,590 dynamics. And then the third year with my 978 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,760 partner, you know, like, and this was a whole other level to 979 00:47:15,770 --> 00:47:19,240 the different personality tests. We quickly identified that we 980 00:47:19,250 --> 00:47:22,370 are literally in every test that we've done, every single test 981 00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:24,740 that we've done where the complete opposites. 982 00:47:25,430 --> 00:47:28,130 But what we started to realise, and this cool thing about the 983 00:47:28,140 --> 00:47:31,200 internship was that, you know, you, you don't just do the 984 00:47:31,210 --> 00:47:34,370 personality tests for the sake of doing personality tests. 985 00:47:34,380 --> 00:47:37,730 You do them Then in terms of how does that, that now, how, how 986 00:47:37,740 --> 00:47:42,390 does that operate as a team now? So you identify, you know, how 987 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,550 you work, then how everyone else works, and then how does that 988 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,600 work together? And that's what we had from the 989 00:47:47,610 --> 00:47:50,970 very beginning. So from from then on, I have 990 00:47:50,980 --> 00:47:53,680 never ever been able to have a job other than when I was 991 00:47:53,690 --> 00:47:56,270 landscaping for that year. I've never ever been able to 992 00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,660 have a job where Amy's not a part of it. 993 00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:02,410 You know, I mean, I have to because I know what she does. 994 00:48:02,500 --> 00:48:06,190 She feels the gaps of my weaknesses, you know, So I need 995 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:10,430 to have her at some level in, in part of my role, as she has been 996 00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,070 ever since. Except for that year's 997 00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:17,090 landscaping. Players gonna get a bottle for 998 00:48:17,100 --> 00:48:20,550 baby. But yeah, we we had the benefit 999 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:25,080 of doing this intensive training that we would have been training 1000 00:48:25,090 --> 00:48:28,410 individually if we weren't there together and in a relationship 1001 00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,660 anyway. But because we were starting our 1002 00:48:30,670 --> 00:48:33,390 relationship, it was an incredible kind of foundation to 1003 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,740 build that. And so during that year is like, 1004 00:48:36,750 --> 00:48:39,610 I think it was six months in, it was in June or something that we 1005 00:48:39,620 --> 00:48:43,160 ended up getting engaged because we had spent, we were actually 1006 00:48:43,170 --> 00:48:45,350 only dating, I think for eight months in the end. 1007 00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:50,740 And we had spent these months being so intentional and, and to 1008 00:48:50,750 --> 00:48:53,580 some people's perspectives, it would have been pretty intense, 1009 00:48:53,590 --> 00:48:55,340 I guess. But like we said, for us, it was 1010 00:48:55,350 --> 00:48:58,300 just right. So we'd spent these months being 1011 00:48:58,310 --> 00:49:00,980 intentional about learning ourselves and learning each 1012 00:49:00,990 --> 00:49:03,700 other. And we built a network around 1013 00:49:03,710 --> 00:49:06,580 us, a community and family around us that were supportive 1014 00:49:06,590 --> 00:49:09,040 and encouraging. And we knew they were there to 1015 00:49:09,050 --> 00:49:13,640 challenge us, this accountable and help us to be better and to 1016 00:49:13,710 --> 00:49:15,900 think of each other and all of those things. 1017 00:49:15,910 --> 00:49:18,060 We had built that really solid foundation. 1018 00:49:18,070 --> 00:49:20,020 So that worked very well in our favour. 1019 00:49:20,030 --> 00:49:22,260 We ended up getting engaged in the Mediterranean. 1020 00:49:22,530 --> 00:49:28,390 We went for a the mission trip over there and Blair took me. 1021 00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:29,460 He had been there the year before. 1022 00:49:29,470 --> 00:49:32,410 He took me to this beautiful cafe on the edge of the 1023 00:49:32,420 --> 00:49:35,040 Mediterranean, and there was no one there. 1024 00:49:35,050 --> 00:49:36,340 It was empty. I don't even know if it was 1025 00:49:36,350 --> 00:49:38,490 open. We were on the balcony on the 1026 00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,730 veranda overlooking the ocean. And then he's like, look in the 1027 00:49:41,740 --> 00:49:43,950 distance while I take a photo of you. 1028 00:49:44,020 --> 00:49:47,650 And I turned around and I turned back and he was on his knee with 1029 00:49:47,660 --> 00:49:49,300 a ring. I was beautiful. 1030 00:49:50,010 --> 00:49:52,850 He's not here for me to have that back and forth here, but it 1031 00:49:52,860 --> 00:49:56,660 was really beautiful. So we we spent the the next six 1032 00:49:56,670 --> 00:49:59,220 months. So the rest of the year we were 1033 00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:01,380 also still in the internship together, which was just really 1034 00:50:01,390 --> 00:50:02,980 cool. So we're preparing for marriage, 1035 00:50:02,990 --> 00:50:06,930 what we're doing in the context of being working together and 1036 00:50:06,940 --> 00:50:09,020 being in this team and learning about each other. 1037 00:50:09,030 --> 00:50:13,040 So it's just like marriage prep to the extreme. 1038 00:50:13,090 --> 00:50:16,100 I think during that time is actually when we also started to 1039 00:50:16,170 --> 00:50:19,120 be really intentional with the, some of the resources we've 1040 00:50:19,130 --> 00:50:20,840 mentioned here. So the five love languages, I 1041 00:50:20,850 --> 00:50:24,820 think that's one we would have had that first introduced to us. 1042 00:50:24,930 --> 00:50:28,500 And also just we, we ask each other questions when we go on 1043 00:50:28,510 --> 00:50:31,250 drives and that kind of thing. We would Google 100 questions to 1044 00:50:31,260 --> 00:50:33,580 ask your partner or to ask before you get married. 1045 00:50:33,670 --> 00:50:36,360 There was a book of things I wish I knew before I got 1046 00:50:36,370 --> 00:50:37,890 married. And just having those 1047 00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:40,720 conversations and asking those questions and being curious, I 1048 00:50:40,730 --> 00:50:44,170 think was really helpful for us in that prep because we knew how 1049 00:50:44,180 --> 00:50:46,590 different we were. We knew how different our 1050 00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,790 backgrounds, like our family cultures were so different to 1051 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:53,250 each other, pretty much the opposite like we were. 1052 00:50:53,260 --> 00:50:57,170 And and so we knew that that was probably gonna be things that we 1053 00:50:57,180 --> 00:51:00,520 would navigate and have to work through when we did get married. 1054 00:51:00,980 --> 00:51:04,310 And so I think that was like kind of the beginning of this 1055 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,340 question that the that the chatter is written in. 1056 00:51:06,350 --> 00:51:08,070 How did you start these conversations? 1057 00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,700 That's kind of where these conversations started was in 1058 00:51:10,710 --> 00:51:12,920 these early months of engagement. 1059 00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:17,280 Yeah, and going back to our channel's like question, you 1060 00:51:17,290 --> 00:51:21,110 know, it's again, it's, it's, it's you have to ask that 1061 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,810 question. What's the value of yours? 1062 00:51:22,860 --> 00:51:24,990 Right. Because this is all in line with 1063 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,730 the values that we had already had kind of separate from each 1064 00:51:27,740 --> 00:51:30,870 other. Again, from the very beginning, 1065 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,070 I knew what I did not want to have. 1066 00:51:33,140 --> 00:51:37,170 And so I knew that there was a lot of work to be done to have 1067 00:51:37,180 --> 00:51:40,580 what I wanted to have, you know, and, and to have the value and 1068 00:51:40,590 --> 00:51:44,030 the vision of a family and a wife and a marriage that I had 1069 00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:45,480 envisioned. And yeah. 1070 00:51:45,490 --> 00:51:47,930 And we're just, we're very lucky that we had the support that we 1071 00:51:47,940 --> 00:51:51,900 had and the input we had both individually and together. 1072 00:51:51,970 --> 00:51:54,640 Yeah, yeah. And I think throughout our 1073 00:51:54,650 --> 00:51:58,380 whole, throughout our whole journey, something that really 1074 00:51:58,390 --> 00:52:02,420 helps me is the projecting and being like, where do I want to 1075 00:52:02,430 --> 00:52:04,360 be in five years time? Where do I want to be in 10 1076 00:52:04,370 --> 00:52:07,360 years time? And just knowing that whatever 1077 00:52:07,370 --> 00:52:10,800 we want that to be, whatever vision we've got for that and we 1078 00:52:10,810 --> 00:52:13,900 would choose, we need to be making the changes for that now 1079 00:52:14,190 --> 00:52:16,420 to to get there. And so there's little things we 1080 00:52:16,430 --> 00:52:17,800 can do. And this is across the board. 1081 00:52:17,810 --> 00:52:21,420 It's not just relationships, but like you just said, we knew what 1082 00:52:21,430 --> 00:52:24,360 we didn't want or we knew what we did want in our marriages 1083 00:52:24,870 --> 00:52:27,620 individually. And so that kind of helped to 1084 00:52:27,630 --> 00:52:29,340 shape that. And so if you're in a 1085 00:52:29,350 --> 00:52:33,140 relationship, you might not have the same values and that's OK. 1086 00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:35,800 Like we, we are opposites. We have different values. 1087 00:52:35,810 --> 00:52:39,260 We've just done a values exercise recently at the retreat 1088 00:52:39,350 --> 00:52:40,870 and it was different, different values. 1089 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:45,100 And so that doesn't mean you're not going to work or that it's 1090 00:52:45,110 --> 00:52:48,120 doomed or anything like that. Understanding those things about 1091 00:52:48,130 --> 00:52:50,380 each other, that is the biggest thing. 1092 00:52:50,430 --> 00:52:54,900 So understanding how we differ in the values, that was a huge 1093 00:52:54,910 --> 00:52:56,380 thing for us in those early months. 1094 00:52:56,390 --> 00:52:58,080 There's a lot more than just the value. 1095 00:52:58,090 --> 00:53:00,000 It's the question of why is that a value? 1096 00:53:00,290 --> 00:53:03,100 Is it a healthy value? Yeah, and our anxiety around 1097 00:53:03,110 --> 00:53:06,050 those things thankfully is shifting as well over the years 1098 00:53:06,060 --> 00:53:08,400 because we've been able to identify them. 1099 00:53:08,410 --> 00:53:11,380 We know where they've come from. It's not just when you start to 1100 00:53:11,390 --> 00:53:12,890 interact with people. I think this is one of the 1101 00:53:12,900 --> 00:53:16,270 biggest things that I, that kind of boggles my mind. 1102 00:53:16,550 --> 00:53:18,870 Everyone reacts, everybody reacts. 1103 00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:21,820 You react to whatever is going on around you and you react from 1104 00:53:21,830 --> 00:53:25,760 your perspective and your lens. And so when someone comes out 1105 00:53:25,770 --> 00:53:28,620 aggressive or weird or it like doesn't sit right with you and 1106 00:53:28,630 --> 00:53:31,200 you're like, like that's put me out. 1107 00:53:31,390 --> 00:53:34,220 It's not just them deciding that they're going to be a horrible 1108 00:53:34,230 --> 00:53:37,060 person that day. It's because of so many things. 1109 00:53:37,150 --> 00:53:41,240 Doesn't excuse, like we've said, the behaviour, but there's so 1110 00:53:41,250 --> 00:53:44,610 much that goes into how someone interacts with the world on them 1111 00:53:44,780 --> 00:53:48,490 that if you come into relationship unaware of why you 1112 00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:52,510 react that way and you also come in unwilling to be curious about 1113 00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,970 why that other person reacts that way, you're going to have a 1114 00:53:55,980 --> 00:53:58,610 tough time because it will just be. 1115 00:53:58,670 --> 00:54:00,830 You'll be dealing with the surface level stuff that doesn't 1116 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:05,550 make sense and does offend and does look hurtful, instead of 1117 00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:09,800 dealing with the deeper stuff that explains a bit of what's 1118 00:54:09,810 --> 00:54:12,060 going on and helps you have grace for each other and helps 1119 00:54:12,070 --> 00:54:14,860 you see them in a 3D way rather than a 2D way. 1120 00:54:14,930 --> 00:54:18,630 Which is why I really think intentionality is the best 1121 00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,580 thing. That's why I think communication 1122 00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:22,980 in relationships is so important. 1123 00:54:23,030 --> 00:54:25,860 Yeah. So we, we went into marriage 1124 00:54:26,050 --> 00:54:28,260 from that platform. We're really lucky for that. 1125 00:54:28,270 --> 00:54:30,720 Not everybody has the opportunity to have such an 1126 00:54:30,730 --> 00:54:33,040 intensive time of getting to know each other. 1127 00:54:33,130 --> 00:54:37,190 And I'm really grateful for that because I think it's set us up 1128 00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:41,690 to face, you know, the the next seven years had a tonne of 1129 00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:43,450 trials. So my parents got divorced right 1130 00:54:43,460 --> 00:54:45,870 after we got married. We had trouble getting pregnant 1131 00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:48,910 with our first. We had work issues. 1132 00:54:49,020 --> 00:54:53,170 We had a tough birth, like we had an emergency C-section. 1133 00:54:53,180 --> 00:54:55,970 We were struggling with housing, like we kept being moved around 1134 00:54:55,980 --> 00:55:00,010 or not finding a place, all of these things and then diving 1135 00:55:00,020 --> 00:55:03,530 into COVID burnout, church issues, work issues. 1136 00:55:03,780 --> 00:55:07,400 My father doesn't suddenly died. We moved regionally like all 1137 00:55:07,410 --> 00:55:10,110 these things crammed into a seven year period. 1138 00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:13,190 And so I'm so grateful that before we dived into that, we 1139 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,430 have this nice foundation to kind of come back on because we 1140 00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,820 were light on that. Like throughout those years, 1141 00:55:17,830 --> 00:55:20,030 we've relied on that foundation a lot. 1142 00:55:20,240 --> 00:55:25,590 And without it, we would have spent those trials also being 1143 00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:29,910 confused with the other person, also trying to navigate why the 1144 00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,790 other persons and we still question sometimes I'm like, I 1145 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,180 don't get it. And we have to kind of pick 1146 00:55:35,190 --> 00:55:38,750 through what the reactions are. But at least we've had that 1147 00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,150 foundation building that understanding of each other 1148 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:44,760 beforehand, so that when we are facing these really difficult 1149 00:55:44,830 --> 00:55:50,170 times, we're not also facing the dynamic the same way that it 1150 00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:51,830 would have been otherwise. So, you know, the second part 1151 00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:55,050 of, of the chatter question was how was it for us when we 1152 00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:56,490 started having these conversations? 1153 00:55:56,500 --> 00:56:00,370 Was it easy for us to have these conversations and have these 1154 00:56:00,380 --> 00:56:02,910 check-ins? And it, it wasn't necessarily 1155 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,070 easy, but it's been a slow burn. It's been something we've built 1156 00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:07,930 up over the years. It's something that we've, we've 1157 00:56:07,940 --> 00:56:10,090 woven into how our relationship works. 1158 00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:14,350 But I also would encourage that if your relationship hasn't been 1159 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,660 like this to date, doesn't mean it can't be. 1160 00:56:16,670 --> 00:56:18,770 You can start now with this intentionality. 1161 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:25,260 So thank you guys again so much. This is number 20 for the 1162 00:56:25,270 --> 00:56:27,470 podcasts. And yeah, again, we could not 1163 00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,080 have done this without you. It's been such an incredible 1164 00:56:30,300 --> 00:56:34,240 journey and our conversations have got so much better since 1165 00:56:34,250 --> 00:56:36,160 doing this. But also, like there's so many 1166 00:56:36,170 --> 00:56:38,600 of you guys on our chatters being shared out to you guys so 1167 00:56:38,610 --> 00:56:42,370 much for just being a part of this and supporting us in the 1168 00:56:42,380 --> 00:56:44,220 way that you do. And and being a part of this 1169 00:56:44,230 --> 00:56:47,560 podcast and speaking into this podcast by giving awesome 1170 00:56:47,570 --> 00:56:50,280 questions, awesome ideas, even feedback. 1171 00:56:50,350 --> 00:56:52,360 All that has just been absolutely amazing. 1172 00:56:52,370 --> 00:56:54,920 So thank you so much for our chatters. 1173 00:56:54,930 --> 00:56:57,980 For thank you so, so much for being with us for these 20 1174 00:56:57,990 --> 00:57:00,300 episodes. We hope there's many, many more 1175 00:57:00,310 --> 00:57:02,310 to come. We really appreciate you guys 1176 00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:05,380 being part of our community. Absolutely good chat. 1177 00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:06,200 Thanks guys.