Honey, we need to chat. Welcome to another chit chat
episode on the podcast. Welcome.
And we have maintained our swapped seats.
Because I have and I've maintained the same close.
Yes, well, this is the day after we recorded the previous one, so
let's not judge too hard, including the fact that my eye
is now a lot more red, so I'm not going to look at you.
He's. Going to look at me.
Yeah, so we are, we are still switched, but that's OK.
Anyway, welcome to our chit chat, to DD chat.
We have an exciting kind of interactive episode today.
Yeah, because do you wanna lead the explanation on what's
happening today? So are we gonna do word for
word? Because we.
EB Games. Voucher.
Whoop 4. EB Games.
For a new. OK, we received one of our
chatters was so so kind and sent us an EB Games voucher for that
Zing part of EB Games I think Zing or was it?
Or was that to get us new mugs for our tea chat time?
The chatter heard our cry, our plea for help when we said we
wanted new mugs. Look, we haven't got sponsors
yet, but. We do have.
Chatters. Anyway, but we don't know what
we've got in each other, so that's gonna be our tea time.
Part of it was he requested that I get Amy's and Amy gets wine.
Yeah. So that's what we've done.
Yeah. So let's get into that.
Cool. All right, I have yours, but
I've. It's covered with crackers and
our toddlers shoes because we want you to see inside the bag.
So it's gonna take these out. I also note that your bag is a
lot larger than my bag. That's interesting.
Yep. That's right.
Maybe, yeah. OK, I'll take that out.
One more thing and then here is the mug that I picked out for
you. So this was actually a bit
harder because in Zing zipped up is less things that I think you
would actually enjoy. So I did.
I've got the thing that I thought you would most enjoy.
Yeah, cool. That's all.
All right, this is a classic unboxing.
This is a big Oh, Nightmare Before Christmas.
Yes. I actually really like it.
Yeah. I haven't seen this.
Haven't you? No.
But I really like. Oh.
I thought you had seen. It no, I want to see it.
I need that I have some significance at some.
Point I am into scary vibey things so I actually really
appreciate this baby. But it's quite.
Cool. So yeah, I also like how explain
it? I will.
I'm just trying to get the lid out.
That noise, That noise. There we go.
Oh, it's got a little spoon. Got it, got it.
It's got like little Styrofoam stuck to it.
That is so cool. I love how interactive this mug
is. That is so cool.
How cool is that? I love that.
Yeah. Thank you, Chad.
Thank you. Let me put the spoon in, I
wonder. What it's like to drink out of.
Yeah, I know. I love this it.
Looks cool. If you're looking for a cool
mug, this is the kind of mug you know well.
Mine's not quite as interactive, but it I did.
Oh, oh, smash, take that. This means someone else would
have to send us a voucher to get some more.
I walked around and like you said, there was a lot more
things that were valid for you. There was a Mandalorian mug and
I was like, not going to get that.
You already had a Mandalorian mug.
There was a feature on some of the mugs and I was like, I
really want one of those. Oh, really?
As in, do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, there's this. So some of the mugs are just
mugs and then some of the mugs, when you put hotness in them,
they show a different thing. And so there was two hours
picking between this one was the most valid to you.
And it'll look cooler when the when there's heat in it, I
believe. Hey, what is this horse?
Light stars a light Sabre 10 So when it's hot the light Sabre is
down. When it's what?
No, when the when you put hot stuff in the lightsaber is light
up. Light up, That's cool.
So try and I'll try and do a put the camera out before we fill
these out and then I'll put up to the camera after.
So we're actually going to break now really quickly and we're
going to make some tea and then we're going to go come back and
how about tea and our new mugs? Thank you so much.
Shout out, that is. Also thank you guys.
Let me get up to close to the camera.
Put some music over this design. All right, time to take your
first sip. I actually think that's going to
be a very annoying cup to drink out of.
For you, it might be a challenge, but it's like a
funny. It's a funny thing.
Yeah, all right, sipping. So the the lightsaber is slowly
lit up. Lit up, that's a good cup of
Joe. But even though it's tea.
That's a good cup of peppermint tea, all right.
Oh, I got to test mine and take off my lid.
I won't usually keep the lid and the spoon, but I just think it's
such a cool spoon. Here we go.
When is it? Coming.
It's like such a big mug. It didn't.
Work. Yeah, I did.
It's not. Bad.
It's not bad, it's. More, it's more that I I know
my. Teeth really, really hot.
Cool. Well, thank you so much again
Chatter, you know who you are, we know who you are and we are
so grateful and we are waiting. Everybody else's gift card.
Yes, that plea for help was actually totally unintentional.
We did not expect this at all and really, really appreciate.
It but we're actually we're very thankful, sorry, and we're gonna
we're gonna manipulate that again.
So yeah, it's good. Alrighty, let's get into today's
episode. So today's episode is carrying
on a little bit from last week's chit chat episode where we were
reading out some writings from some of our chatters and yeah,
so we're gonna get into that. So we're sort of merging a
couple of of our chatter questions.
So first one is and this is going to kind of be T chat
merged into this. Whole episode's a bit of a T
chat answering question kind. Of yeah, and a bit more of a
bigger question at the end there.
So stick around for that. But first one is regrets.
What are some regrets that you and I have, or things we'd wish
we'd done sooner? I said to you when we were
brainstorming before, I don't regret anything in the normal
definition of the word. It's not like I'm like, I really
regret this. There's decisions I've made that
I wish I hadn't made. But I really believe you learn
from everything and everything that you experience is kind of
what makes you who you are. This.
One said the mug looks really good in the camera.
Oh, it does, doesn't it? Well, you're welcome.
The only things that come to mind is there's a few things I
wish that we had been slower to. We went right into trying to
have kids. Yeah, really early on.
And there was a reason like we were, we both knew we wanted to
be parents. We actually thought that we had
been pregnant at one stage. And then we were disappointed.
And that was kind of what triggered us being like, well,
if we're disappointed that we're not pregnant, why don't we just
try? But because it took us a little
while to get pregnant and I ended up needing to go on
medication and stuff like that, it just because.
You've got, you've got policies. That's got policies, ovaries and
yeah, so. For people to understand what
that is, that's pretty much your cycle is not as predictable.
So, and it's just such a big, it can be a big gap in between.
Cycles and stuff like that. So.
Yeah, it's, it's a lot harder to plan and.
Thankfully mine's not like severe, some people it's causes
a lot more problems. But yeah, for me it was mostly
the predictability, knowing when to try and you run out of steam
trying all the time. So it was a very all consuming
first year for many reasons, but including that.
And I think obviously would never regret any of the kids we
have. The timing of all that has
worked out in a way we would never, ever, ever, ever, ever go
back on. But I do wish that we had.
I do think we could have had more adventure or just even more
time to just be instead of rushing.
That's something I feel like I, I struggle with is just being
and enjoying the present. I think actually probably right
now is the first time I've really just relaxed.
Like we were hanging out with our baby earlier and I said it's
so nice to just be free to just enjoy him being a baby.
Even with all the other kids. I just felt rushed to like have
another kid or move on to the next stage or whatever.
And this time it's just it's we've got like this kind of
peace. So yeah, I think stuff like
that, not rushing to have kids, maybe prioritising.
I really wish we'd understood more about buying houses when we
were younger. There's a few things that
happened that meant we delayed it and we actually could have,
and I'm not even sure how. Like we went to a broker and it
just was confusing. We definitely could have
afforded it better than we did when we ended up buying one.
So I kind of wish we'd felt more confident and clear in those
kinds of life things and explored it a little bit slower
and more than we did. But I don't regret any of that.
It's just if I could look back and test that out, that would be
something that I'd look into. Yeah, yeah, I don't have any
regrets. I have these moments where like
in my head, I sort of cringe over.
So, you know, my burnout and the impact that's had on the family,
That's what that's had on you. And just that ongoing mental
health issues that have have come from that burnout.
That's something, it's not the regret.
It is what it is, but it's one of those things that really
stands out to me and just pops its head back up from time to
time. And even now, like I, you know,
my overwhelmness and everything too, I still bring back to that
burnout, which is it's, it's like something just was broken
at that stage. It's really strange and it's,
it's been such a recovery ever since then.
But anyway, that is what it is. And what I do like is that we've
been so intentional with that, that process and it's, it's
never been excusing the situation, but being
understanding of the situation and then the difficulty in this
of it and the realness of it. And it's just unintentional side
of things of growing and and working through those sorts of
stuff. One of the things I wish we'd
done sooner, though, is get professional help.
You know, I think it took us so long to, or it took us until it
was too late, you know, I mean, like I was already burnt out.
I was already, my mental health was really, really bad.
Yours then became really bad. But just getting that
professional help before to just understand some small things and
just understand what professional help actually is
and wasn't tired of it because I think before I really saw it as
a weakness. I saw it as, oh, I didn't need
to go there. I'm not that bad.
Yeah. And so I think, oh, I've just
got a very different point of view of that now.
Yeah. So we should do that.
Yeah, it's definitely not something that's like a, oh,
you're a week for going to see this person or you're really on
the rocks for going to get some extra input.
Yeah, unfortunately, lots of people wait till that stage.
Yeah, it is it it? Well, how, how intentional were
we when we started dating, Right.
Yeah. Getting help and input.
Yeah. And then you just get into that
complacent stage. It's like, oh, no, we're married
now. We've already got all that.
We've, you know, we've, we've gone through that period, we've
sought help. We've had other people input and
then you just don't, you just don't do that anymore.
And that's where it's like it's only been, you know, since my
burnout that now we're continually getting help and
professional help and seeking more support and trying to grow
a lot more intentionally. Not that we we're never
intentional about our growth, but there's just that that
period where they the external input I think was just wasn't
there. Well, I don't think it was a
Val. I don't think it was a priority,
didn't feel pressing and especially the busier we got,
the less it kind of took up space, so.
Yeah, Yep. I'm gonna take another sip and
it might be a bit of a saga, so yeah.
OK, you take your time. Did you get anything?
Did you drink any? No.
Great. So things you think you think
were done really well and you wouldn't change.
But again, I wouldn't change anything.
Like even what you said before about us having more adventures
and stuff, I'm like, oh, yeah. Like I would have loved to do
more international travel with you before we had kids.
That would been amazing because we've had the the travel bug for
ages now, but we just can't financially do it right and
practically do it with the kids. So that's something I wish we
did do earlier, but I wouldn't change that at all because the
life we've had has been amazing, you know, even through the
difficult Venus, the that has really shaped a lot of the
culture within our family. Yeah, absolutely.
And in our relationship. So I just, I wouldn't change any
of it. But I think something that we've
done really well. We've we've always been a team.
You know, I think just having that team mentality of I
actually need to understand you more so that I can do my role as
husband better. You know, it's not just a matter
of like I need to well, you know, learn more about what a
good husband is. I need to learn more about what
is a good husband to you, you know, like, what do you need in
a husband? And I think that's something
that we've done really well is start to unpack each other's
side of stuff like the good, the bad, the ugly, and but then how
does that work together? So it's always had that team and
tell us. I think that's something that
we've that's been really good for us.
Yeah. Yeah, I think pretty similar to
that. We spent a lot of time really
early on just getting to know each other about, like, what has
made us us and not just the, oh, this, you know, this.
I went to school when I was this old.
It was like the more serious kind of difficult conversations
so that when we did continue into our relationship, it wasn't
that I was just like, why does Blair do this?
I mean, there was stuff that I was still learning, but I
understood, oh, he's got this experience, and this is his
values, and this is probably why he's reacting this way.
This is, you know, this is the clash.
I think that context really helped.
Yeah, yeah. So I think that's a really good,
I'm glad that we did it that way.
And I think with parenting, we really, we have never had a
solid parenting technique. Like we haven't been subscribed
to this type of parenting. And there's so many things that
we're like, I've got no idea. But I do think what something
that's we've done well is, again, that being a team in it
and just kind of taking it as it comes and dealing with it and
not almost not boxing ourselves in.
Yeah, which helps with flexibility.
Yeah, things need to change 'cause I think that's one trap
that people fall into. And it also helps with grace,
knowing, oh, we've made a mistake.
Yeah, we can kind of work on that.
Yeah, but it's just the attitude of like, oh, no, we're gonna
keep working on that. Yeah, You know, it's not like,
oh, we've got that sorted now. So no, no, it's a continual
growth, continual learning. This is a lifelong journey.
It's not a, yeah, you know, a month thing like it's, it's
forever. We're going to keep going in
this. And then that can be quite
daunting at times as well. Like, man, is it always going to
be like this? And my, my view on it is like,
no, it's going to get easier because the longer that we've
actually been married and working through that, the easier
the conversations have been. So the turn around is better and
and greater, you know. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Next one What are each other's green flags?
I I love how you're always so ready to help like you are just
there's I can rely on you just 120% like I just I don't I don't
have to ask. I don't have to like second
guess if you're on my corner or if you're there to support me or
anything else, like even in a practical sense, right?
You know, the fact that I'm not working today, well, this
afternoon is because you've helped me so much with my actual
job, right? And you're just so willing to
jump to that and stuff that you, because you know me, you know
the things that stress me out, you know that you can do this
better. And I know you can do this
better. And it's not a matter of like,
I'm going to help. And it's actually the
sacrificial side of you that you're like, no, I want to do
this because I love you. And that's just a one as well.
You speak until my love language too.
And you're so just ready for that you.
And even with the kids, you're so ready for what's needed in
those moments. And and you'll.
Yeah. So that's a huge green flag for
me. Thanks baby.
Mine is that you've let me help you know, my, I think for you,
the biggest green flag, one of the biggest green flags is that
I've noticed from the beginning and is still the case is that
you're, you're so willing to be vulnerable and to be intentional
and work on things like you've never had this.
You've always from the very beginning had this ability to be
like, Oh, no, I need help in this, or I want to be better in
this and, and not this attitude of like, I am good now.
Like why do I need to work on anything or I don't need to let
people in. And that's been so helpful in
our relationship. It's been incredibly helpful for
your work because you've gotten into roles and positions in your
jobs that are incredible because of your willingness to learn and
to rely on and to kind of not look silly.
But just like it might for some people, it feels silly to be in
that vulnerable place. But it's actually a really
strong stance to make and super, super helpful with your
parenting and your input and all the stuff that we talk about on
the podcast all the time, you know, the mental load
conversations and even the other days when manipulative.
What incompetence? Like, all of that stuff
weaponized. Yeah, all that stuff that can so
easily be generalised and categorised to men, you've been
so willing to learn in it and listen and have conversations
and be challenged on things and then also challenge back, but in
a constructive way. So I think that's pretty pretty
much made the foundation of our family.
That set the tone for our family, which is huge.
Teamwork now The Muppet we we fist bumped cool what do you
wish you'd so speaking is sometimes very hard you do this
very well for the podcast it is so hard to read and.
It's really hard. What do you wish you'd known
sooner about each? Other I don't think there's
anything I wish I'd known sooner because I feel like we knew the
basics really quickly. I think I probably wish that I
understood each of our triggers better or or the extent of our
not the casual like normal times, the more like extreme
points. But even then, knowing that
sooner would have just I'm not sure that sooner really fixes
that. Yeah, it's, it's come out when
it's needed to come out. Yeah, 'cause that's The thing is
the journey has actually been so instrumental in our growth.
So sooner I was like, well, the journey might have been shorter
and the impact might have been less, but I think something
that's I, it's not even necessarily what I knew about
you earlier. It was more about how I wish I
knew the growth that we had to take sooner.
So we, I, I didn't get myself by surprise.
Do you mean like, because when we first started dating, we're
doing the internship together and we, we, we're finding out
like after a while that it's because we're so different.
Like I wish I just, you know, in hindsight and it's doesn't get
me down or anything, but what would have been cool is actually
went into that relationship knowing that look, you're going
to have to work on all this sort of stuff because I think it
would just would have just made. I just wish I would knew that
this is the the stages that we go down or the path we go down
so that I could be like, yeah, cool rather than get irritated.
Yeah. About.
Different things and whatever else, but it's I'm just trying
to find something to throw out there.
So I don't really have anything like that either.
I think just like knowing each other's values is another one.
I think if we understood those things earlier, but we, again,
we never knew we needed to know them to exactly know them.
So it's hard, but I think that could have helped us navigate
those conversations and tensions.
Hey guys, just wanted to pop in and take a SEC to talk about the
extra content you can find over on our Patreon and our Spotify
subscription. We have a fun little community
growing over there with extra episodes, extra stories.
We're also going to have resources, messages back and
forth and also submitting listener stories through that
portal as well, so. Outro.
Themes If you want to be a part of our closer knit community
here at Honey Media Chat, please hop on over to Patreon or
Spotify subscriptions and join us there.
Love to see you. Thanks guys.
Thanks. How did we decide on baby names
and any tips with that process? Well, honestly, the 1st.
So I pretty much picked our boys, our three boys, and you
picked our daughter's name and we don't you really use our kids
names on this podcast. So we're not really going to go
down the line of their names and what their names are.
But the way that we did it was pretty different.
So the first one was the old YouTube clip.
Very well known YouTube. Like very, very old YouTube clip
and like when YouTube was sort of coming out sort of when only
a couple of things went viral rather than a new viral thing
every day, right? It was it was one of those and
it just stuck out of my head and I quoted it and we're like, oh,
what about that name? That's a cute name.
And then we did it. That's how we we did that name
and that was pretty much a lock in.
But what we would do as well, we would go for drives and we'll
just say names. Yeah, I would just read out
lists. And you, yeah.
And you would write them down. And so, I mean, we would go on
like websites, right? And.
What would you do? Baby names?
I'd just search baby names. And then if we had like a vibe
we were looking for, so like our kids middle names were until
this baby short, kind of different.
Edgy. Yeah, different.
And so, you know, I'd look up like short, one syllable middle
names or yeah, if we had kind of a vibe we were looking for, I
would search up that type of name and then go through the
list and the Blair will be, yes, Blair was a lot, a lot more
picking than I was, a lot more picking than I was, which is
good because we've landed in a good place.
But yeah, so he it would be a lot of no, no, no, no, heck no.
But. Sometimes you would say to him
again, I'm like, Oh yeah, what about that one?
You always said no to that one. That would actually happen quite
a bit, like months later it would come up again.
You'd be like, oh, that's not too bad.
But I think all the ones we actually landed on, we were
straight up when we first heard it.
We're like, that's great. Or when we first considered it,
every other one that we were kind of like, maybe maybe we
never really stuck with. Yeah, the only one.
So I found our daughter's name on Facebook one time before we
were even married. I think we're dating.
I don't. Even think we're dating because
I'm I'm pretty sure when we started talking about kids you
just always. No, we were dating.
Yeah, we're. Probably dating I think is where
we were working. It was a friend.
It was a friend of the son of the person I worked with.
And no, I was not stalking, probably.
I probably was scrolling through Facebook just like seeing who's
friends with who. Anyway, the name popped up and
I'd never heard of before, and I was like, that name is so
beautiful. And it just haunted me until we
chose to call our daughter that. Yeah, however many.
Years. Well, I didn't really have a
choice. You had no choice, Yeah.
But I'd love the name. I will say though, because we
had two boys and then we had her and so by the time we were
actually pregnant with her, we didn't know with any of the
first three what we were having. I was like, I'm not, I'm not
sure if I want that name anymore.
We'd said it so much for so many years and it was good because
you're like, you need to use the name because if we don't, you'll
just kick yourself. And I'm so glad now because it
is a beautiful, beautiful. Name and her nickname.
Too. And her nickname.
Nickname. She's got so many nicknames.
Yeah, and I. Wish we could tell you guys
because they're so cute, but because there's even names that
she's called herself trying to say her name and.
Actually, it started with our oldest trying to call her what
he calls her. Yeah.
Which as a little baby and it came out wrong anyway, every
time we meet another one of her because it's not a very common
name, but it is getting more common.
It's like the most exciting thing ever because our boys
names are all very common, but they're cool.
And then the last one was we had so many names because we had a
miscarriage before we had our baby as well.
So we'd had quite an extended period of expecting during that
time. And so we'd had, I think we went
to through three or four that we were like, no, this is what it's
going to be. And then the last, I don't know,
like in the last few months, I think it was of our pregnancy
with him, there was a character. In a.
Show that we were watching which
is so funny because it wouldn't be it's not like we're like this
character is amazing but no if anyone asks that's where we got
the name from so it. Was just like, I think I just
threw it down. I'm like about this name.
And the name is like, yeah, yeah.
And that was it. And that was, that was the name
there. We go.
So that's nice and vague for you because.
YouTube and TV and Facebook, that's how we got our names.
Yeah. But honestly, it was lists.
And we'll just, we'll just go through them again.
And then we did. So we pick a first name, then
pick a second name like a middle name, and then obviously use our
last name. And we just went through that
for the month and it was, we found that fun.
We love. Yeah, we did it before we were.
I think we were looking at baby names like early on, even maybe
before we were married. Right.
And I've shared that list with so many people.
Yeah, since they've, since we've stopped having kids, just being
like, these are some names because we have lots of friends
that have ended up having their baby and not having a name for a
while. I'm like, we have so many names
on a list, I can share them for you.
No one's used them yet. Anyway.
That's a good question. Great.
All right. So this last one is a bit more
of a heavier one and I think it's an important one.
So we've done a lot of questions about our sensitive questions
about us and this is a bit more generalised, right?
So we could kind of see this as a, this was actually a write in,
but as a question, do you believe in don't go to bed angry
after conflict? Why or why not, if you're
comfortable sharing? Yeah, I grew up hearing that.
I can't remember if my parents would say it or not.
And so I grew. Up they're.
Slowly losing their power. I grew up believing that that
was something that needed to happen.
There's actually a Bible verse that says don't let the sunset
on your anger, I think is what it is.
But my understanding now is that that's actually a
misinterpretation. It's it's less about don't go to
sleep angry and it's more about don't let don't let your sunset
on your anger, meaning don't let things finish in anger.
So not about the time you know of the day necessarily, more
just about don't let things just linger in anger because that's
not going to go anywhere. I think it can be damaging if
you like, we've just had a massive argument and we're going
to sleep and we can't go to sleep angry.
I just don't think that how he's supposed to not be angry unless
you're just like magically come up to a conclusion, which is
great if you do. Yeah, I think it's each of their
own, right. And again, this is a
conversation and a value that you would have to come up with
your partner to discuss that together because yeah, so for
me, you know, more for more for you actually.
But for our circumstances, sometimes you just need that
space and then we come back to it and allowing that space.
Something that I needed though, because in our early days, this
was a big thing. I wanted to talk about it right
then and there because I was just sitting in my head and I
just, I just wanted to talk about it.
And I think like, yeah, I just did not want to be a couple
where things were unsaid, you know, and then we just brushed
it off and ignored issues. I'm like, no, I want to, I want
to work through this. So what something that was given
to us, which is actually a really good piece of advice was
that if I may need space, like I need to give her space, but she
needs to promise that we'll come back to it.
So and. I need to bring it back and.
You need to bring it back. So the responsibility was on you
actually then because it's not in a Amy, come on sort of a way,
but it's actually not, you know, this is a value for me.
You know, I need to talk about this.
You know, this is a value, a fear of mine, of what this could
turn into. We're in a conversation.
Amy says I just can't talk about it right now.
I need to respect that. Give her the space that she
needs. And if that's overnight, then
that's overnight. That's going to sleep.
You know, if you're so frustrated, divine, so
frustrated, whatever else, but you just seen the promise to
come back and and that's works really well for us.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's, I don't think it's about the time of the day.
It's just that commitment to not bury the issues because like
we've said earlier, the issues come back alive.
You know, they're buried alive and they come back, they always
come back in different ways and stuff.
So, yeah, I, I think look, if you can deal with it before
going to bed, great. But I don't think that's a law.
I don't think that's. No, and I think that I think it
can be either used. It can either become a pressure
that you put on yourself to resolve things prematurely or it
can be a manipulative thing that someone can put out there.
One partner can be like we can't go to bed angry.
We got to talk about this. The other person's not ready.
I don't I in saying all of that, we don't go to bed angry.
I'm trying to think if we had, yeah.
Honestly, probably it's mostly me in the middle of the night
just sitting there getting angry about something new all of a
sudden and then I talk to you about it the next day or.
You go to sleep, have a dream, wake up angry.
Yeah. That's yeah, navigate.
If they become an anger thing, which is more intense than it is
kind of in the in that moment or it's it's navigated until it's
sorted. It's not usually there for
multiple days on a ring. No, no.
I. Don't think we.
I don't think we've had more than a day.
Yeah. But sometimes we'll talk about
something and then come back to it again, like it's something,
something is like, it's still not sitting right with me or I
forgot to mention this part of the situation, whatever else.
So it's not. Yeah.
It's. I think having a conversation
before going to bed helps that journey keep going rather than
just festering. And then you come back again,
you're like. Yeah, yeah, I think if you're I
think like you said, it's each their own.
You find something that works for you guys.
You find what rhythm works for you in terms of being able to
talk about things in a clear, neutral, encouraging, uplifting,
whatever way so you're not in the moment angry.
But you also you figure out what restrictions need to happen in
terms of not just letting it linger.
Anyway, each their own. They have to you have to figure
out what works for you guys. And then if you need a rule that
helps you make sure that it's done by the time you just
decided on together, great. If you find that's actually
restrictive, or can be manipulative, or can be extra
pressure that's not helpful, then that's really important
too. Yeah, they're good.
So thank you so much Shadows for writing that in.
That's awesome. Really good.
I love sort of unpacking that for ourselves.
So because sometimes we just go through emotions and completely
forget about our journey and all the different things that we've
had to learn and and grow through and continue to go
through. So it's good and we love doing
that with you guys. Just also on our chatter episode
to follow this, we're going to go through some funny
relationships. Yeah, we want to try something
different and so we're going to go to our chatters for that.
So if you would like to be part of this community where you get
to input into these conversations, input into this
podcast and all the things that we're doing head on over there
because we would love to, you know, we would love to add to
our awesome group of people over there that are already doing
that. Yeah.
So yeah, go to Patreon or go to our website.
Go to our website, you can see where to get the extra content
there. I thought I might read 1 funny
relationship story to close us off and do a little like taster.
Yeah, exactly. So this is a thread on our slash
dating over 30. Don't really know why it's on
dating over 30. I think it's applicable to
anyone. That's offensive.
But it's funny dating stories question mark and there's one I
read when I was getting ready to put this together that made me
laugh a lot. So a few years ago I was going
out on a tonne of dates. Anyway, I set up a dinner date
with a guy. I got there first and decided to
just go ahead and get a table. A couple minutes after being
seated I looked up and see my date coming towards me.
I get up and say hello. I give him a big hug.
I sit down and ask him how his weekend is going.
He just stands there and says good with a smile on his face.
And then he asked me how I'm doing.
I answer but I'm like why is this guy not sitting down?
We chit chat about something else for a minute and then I
suddenly realised this guy is not sitting down because he's
the waiter. I could tell quickly that the
waiter was trying to place me, he thought we must know each
other. Anyway, I was so embarrassed and
just decided to play along. My date arrived, he got a hug
too and at the end of the dinner at the waiter and was like it
was so good to see you again. That's awesome.
That's a good one, anyway. So head on over to the Chatters
episode for more of those stories, but we'll talk to you
guys next week. Thanks.
Good. Chat thanks guys.