1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,640 Purpose of of the podcast is communication and relationship. 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:08,039 When we're going through this like we, we notice that dropped 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,040 our ability to communicate, dropped everything that we've 4 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:14,520 been preaching and sharing and prioritising, it dropped. 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:29,240 Honey, we need to. Chat and we are back. 6 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:37,160 Welcome back to season 2 of Honey We Need to Chat far out 7 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,720 Brussels sprout. It's been it's been a minute, 8 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,760 it's been a minute. So for those who are tuning in 9 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:47,200 for the first time, this is the first episode back of season 2 10 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,760 of Honey We Need to Chat podcast. 11 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,640 What have we been doing? We had a much longer break than 12 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,080 anticipated. We initially decided to take a 13 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,680 break, I think it was October or maybe end of September last 14 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:02,880 year, because we were suddenly thrust into the area of moving 15 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,280 house, selling house, buying house. 16 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,360 We say when we say thrust into. We decided to. 17 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,120 Well, we weren't thrusted. Into it put on us. 18 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,760 Well, it was like, it was like we understood. 19 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,240 We came to the realisation that it was an option to do something 20 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,280 about our house situation, which we've been struggling with for a 21 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,080 little bit. And then it's like, oh, we can 22 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,160 do this, let's do it. And also the time frame of it 23 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,200 wasn't going to be long, long standing. 24 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,200 So I'm glad we got it done. It was hectic. 25 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,920 When we took the break, we decided it just wasn't going to 26 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,920 work for us to try and record and edit and release episodes 27 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,720 while we were doing everything. Did think it was going to be 28 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:41,520 more like a month. It was not a month as you guys. 29 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,360 Hotel. Yeah, in February now and that 30 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,840 happened in September last year. So it's been half a year almost. 31 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,200 Wow, that's crazy, but thank you for everyone that's been 32 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,040 reaching out and contacting us still during this time. 33 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,320 Again, the best thing about doing this podcast is actually 34 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,840 well, no, sorry. The best thing about this 35 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,800 podcast is doing this with Amy and the input that it has into 36 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:04,360 our relationship. The second best thing is you 37 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,840 guys like just that communication with you guys and 38 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,680 that seeing how how whole relationship of things that 39 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,120 we're working through conversations that we're having 40 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,840 is impacting your relationship. That's really encouraging 41 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,760 because you know, we're just your ordinary people. 42 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,720 We're everyday people discussing everyday struggles and a big 43 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,280 heart behind this podcast has helped to help others to realise 44 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,400 that they can do it too. You guys can do it. 45 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,720 And so you sharing that with us as being a real highlight, 46 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:35,840 especially through this this period of busyness and craziness 47 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,240 and not podcasting. Yeah, life. 48 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:42,640 Life in. Real life and thank you so much 49 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,160 for your patience during this time. 50 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:48,000 As we said, it went for longer than we expected and we didn't 51 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,600 keep you guys as up to date as we kind of hoped that we would 52 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,800 throughout the process. So thank you for your patience. 53 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,600 For those of you that have returned with us in Season 2, we 54 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:57,920 are so thankful that you're here. 55 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,440 We also recognise it's going to take a bit of regrowing and 56 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,840 getting momentum back again. So absolutely up to that task. 57 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,280 Also, we would love to encourage you guys to help us with that 58 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,720 too. If you like this podcast, if 59 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:12,400 this has been a blessing to you, please continue to share it, 60 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,760 promote it. Yeah, subscribe guys like I'm. 61 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,800 Over and over, yeah. You hear that all the time, 62 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,000 right on different podcasts and YouTube channels. 63 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,920 It does help us out a lot just to get that engagement out 64 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,720 there, to get that awareness out there. 65 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,800 Like share, Subscribe goes a big, big ways. 66 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,120 Before you keep going, just click that really quickly. 67 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,320 Whatever you're listening to on right now, subscribe, like share 68 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,080 it to one person. That would be a huge help to us. 69 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,200 Yeah. And I think, you know, you can 70 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,280 get into this rhythm where your algorithm or your phone like 71 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,040 setup prompts you to listen to the thing that you're engaging 72 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,680 with or watch the whatever platform you're engaging with 73 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,560 and not realise that you haven't actually subscribed, liked, 74 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,000 followed, whatever you want to call it. 75 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,600 But those things, as we've said, are what help us grow. 76 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,880 And so without them, even though you might be getting benefit 77 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,600 from hearing us because you're here every week, other people 78 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:05,120 won't see us if we can't grow. So we would love a little push 79 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,440 from you guys. And that's more than we should 80 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,640 be asking for because of being gone for five months. 81 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,800 But we're going to be doing it too from our end. 82 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,560 And we're really excited to hit the ground running. 83 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,440 And I'm going, I'm not going to lie, we're not fully prepared. 84 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,399 Like we've even up until today, like literally setting up the 85 00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:21,600 room today. Yeah, it's not fully set up, as 86 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,040 you can see if you're looking at the videos. 87 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,600 We do have space now because we've moved into a much, much 88 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,400 larger house than we were in previously. 89 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,600 So it will be amazing. But it has been a little bit of 90 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,920 a leap of faith to be like, OK, we're going to release in 91 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,880 February because neither of us felt ready. 92 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,120 And I think we could have put it off and put it off and put it 93 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,200 off. But we're just, yeah. 94 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,640 And it's little things, too. You're like, Amy's holding her 95 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,760 microphone because we can't find our other microphone. 96 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,760 That's just the beauty of me. Anything. 97 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,880 You can never find anything. And we will find it after we've 98 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,800 bought a new one. Fairly confident that's what's 99 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:52,360 gonna happen. Yeah. 100 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,600 Absolutely. But the other very exciting 101 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:59,480 thing and hopefully we'll be playing out in how the podcast 102 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,680 is presented to you guys, although invisibly to you, is 103 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,520 our kids are all at school or daycare. 104 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:10,720 Hallelujah time since having our our complete family, all the 105 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,800 kids are out of the house Thursdays, Fridays we've got 106 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,480 baby in daycare and the three older ones are all in school. 107 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,040 So Oh my gosh, hopefully that frees us up so much more. 108 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,320 Which is an exciting time, like an exciting season that we're 109 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:25,800 entering into as well. So even having today, you know, 110 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,440 I mean, I like, wow, there's no kids in the house and we both 111 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,800 work from home. So, you know, it's school 112 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,840 holidays and working from home is Oh my goodness, like that is 113 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,800 a kick to the face 5. Times it was long. 114 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,760 Yeah, it was hard. Sorry. 115 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,800 You know, it's been really, really nice to have this time, 116 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,640 but it's also getting used to this time as well. 117 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,240 How do we use it productively? What does this look like now 118 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,040 entering into that season? And one of the big things we 119 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,880 wanted to prioritise was this podcast. 120 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,360 So we're really excited to start back up again. 121 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,760 We're really excited for this season. 122 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,920 We have we're, we're not mixing it up crazily, but something 123 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,240 that is big and exciting for this season is, you know, during 124 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,040 this break that we've had the interviews that we've been 125 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,680 having. So we have been actually still 126 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,720 recording a number of episodes with some interviews over this 127 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,960 break to be able to bring that, you know, we, we've got some. 128 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:16,680 So in this episode we'll be sharing about that break, what 129 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,520 that looked like for us, the difficulties we had in that 130 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,520 season through our communication, through our 131 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,160 relationship. But even in that, we still made 132 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,720 that priority of of getting guests to speak into our 133 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,280 situation as well, which was really, you know, impactful for 134 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,280 us and exciting for the podcast. Yeah, a lot more interviews 135 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,760 happening this season compared to last season and some, I mean 136 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,320 they are solid. They are really solid. 137 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,440 And there's more to come. So yeah, watch this space. 138 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:47,400 They they definitely add an extra pzazz to the episodes. 139 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,280 Pzazz. In fact, they add everything to 140 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,040 the other side. So yeah, they won't just be us 141 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,320 this this season. So anyway, here we are. 142 00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:00,160 We're going to dive in into season 2. 143 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:04,040 Fuck, honey, we need a chat. So starting us off strong and on 144 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,120 topic that we've already kind of dived into we're going to do a 145 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,440 would you rather? Yeah, old school honey, we need 146 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,240 a chat. Cool, I'm going to find that 147 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,520 because that's my task. Would you rather, and this is 148 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,160 very relevant, this is very, very relevant. 149 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,000 Would you rather have to move houses every year for the rest 150 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,200 of your life or live in one house forever but never be able 151 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,840 to change anything about it, not even the furniture? 152 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,120 This is the thing, right? We did move house every year for 153 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,360 the first seven years of our lives together. 154 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,600 And it was a lot. Yeah. 155 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,480 And we love being more stable. If we had to move into this 156 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,120 house and we couldn't have changed. 157 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,280 Anything we. Would literally be dead by now, 158 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,600 so yeah. Yeah, share, share that. 159 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,400 Well, no, let's get, we'll share that after. 160 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,040 But no, absolutely. If we had to move into this 161 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:56,880 house when we first got it, no, I would rather move every year. 162 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,840 Yeah, every year. But if we moved into this house 163 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,200 as it is now. Then I would struggle not to 164 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,720 change anything, but I do think it would be better than moving 165 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:06,800 every year. Yeah, absolutely. 166 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,560 So this is still a fixer up house, right? 167 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,560 We still got some work to do on this place. 168 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,640 But if I had to pick, I would still pick to stay here and not 169 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,600 move anything, especially in light of where we've just been 170 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,080 through. It was hard and and yeah, I 171 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,600 would just stay with as it is. Blair's really set on never 172 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,400 moving again. And I think, you know, we've 173 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,040 only been two months in the South now. 174 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,200 And so it was, it was a lot. And but we also have four 175 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,799 children very young. And I said the only reason I 176 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,799 would want to move again or the only way I'd be happy to move 177 00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,080 again is if we had a lot of money that we could pay someone 178 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,400 to do literally every step. And we didn't have any rush in 179 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,560 terms of selling, Selling was the worst. 180 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,160 Selling was the worst part of the whole thing. 181 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:52,640 Moving in and of itself is annoying, but selling and then 182 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,560 buying and the logistics that went into that was a lot huge 183 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,120 blessing that we can don't get us wrong, like the fact that we 184 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:03,480 can do that is huge and we we don't wanna complain in in face 185 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,160 of that. No, but it was a lot so. 186 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,520 Let's get into this is this is what we wanted to sort of talk 187 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,520 about in today's episode is going through. 188 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,240 What? We what, what's life been like 189 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,560 for us in the last few months? Why did it take so us so long to 190 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,760 get back into recording again or releasing episodes again? 191 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,600 Oh, so we, you know, we were in this house, it was our first 192 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,720 house. You know, we're a family of six. 193 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,880 And look, it was a great first house. 194 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,040 It was, it was great. We moved in first house. 195 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,320 Love that we only had three kids at the time and all three kids 196 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,640 were in the same room. It worked, but we knew it 197 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:38,920 wouldn't be long term. Then comes along #4 #4 provided 198 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,360 some difficulty. So at first he was in with us. 199 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,960 That stopped working because we, well, I think from our first 200 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,080 three we didn't had done a lot of sleep training and so forth. 201 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,760 And it really helped because we had extra room and that would 202 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,800 have their own room and they wouldn't wake anyone up. 203 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,000 And you give you that space. To sleep train. 204 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,320 Yeah, they. Slept the whole, all of them 205 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,400 slept really well, but the other three slept really well. 206 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,440 But our youngest wasn't sleeping that great. 207 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,440 And so we're like cool, let's get him out of our room and get 208 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,800 him in with the other kids. So we had four kids in the same 209 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,480 room, toddler was one of them, and that didn't work well. 210 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,320 They literally told us they don't want him in there anymore, 211 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,360 which is not normal for them. Normally, they'd be like, let 212 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,240 him in here. And then they're like, I don't 213 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,920 want him in here. Yeah. 214 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,440 He just would keep him awake. He was. 215 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,280 He definitely has struggled with sleep more than the rest of 216 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,080 them. Yeah. 217 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,400 Yeah. And because we both work from 218 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,720 home, we needed that office space. 219 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,880 Yeah. So we had an office, we had a 220 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,680 three bedroom house. The third bedroom was our office 221 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:38,480 slash studio where we recorded our episodes and we were holding 222 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,480 on for as long as we could because we just needed that 223 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:44,000 space. And then we like, look, ace is 224 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,240 not working. The kids are miserable. 225 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,360 We're miserable. We're we're getting less sleep 226 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,000 now because all the kids are awake, not just our toddler. 227 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,880 So he moved into our office, which is the other bedroom. 228 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,920 And so my office or our office went into our walk in wardrobe, 229 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,800 which was tiny and it was just very claustrophobic and it just 230 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,600 was not great. And, you know, we both have a 231 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,440 history of mental health struggles and so knowing like 232 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:12,520 things like natural light and so forth have been important to us 233 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,400 because of our previous struggles. 234 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,080 So it was hard. It was really, really hard. 235 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:21,640 We weren't on an income that would allow us to do anything 236 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,240 about it for a number of years. Some good things happened within 237 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:29,360 our careers and our work that then meant we got a pay bump, 238 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,640 went to our broker. So hey, this is our situation. 239 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,280 Help us, please. And he came back with really 240 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,920 good news, saying we could borrow actually quite a bit more 241 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,360 than we thought we would be able to. 242 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:42,800 And so we're like, all right, this needs to be done for our 243 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,080 sanity, for the sake of our family, for the sake of our 244 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,440 relationship where like we need to do something about this, 245 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,280 hence starting renovations. So that's the other thing too is 246 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,400 we had projects that we had been working on for the three years 247 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,200 we were living in the previous house that had not been 248 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,080 completed. And the idea that all of a 249 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,440 sudden now we need to complete all this stuff within a month 250 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:08,840 because self inflicted, we put that time pressure on and that 251 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,000 was like, all right. But we just had to get our head 252 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,960 down and just work. Like literally the whole of 253 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:18,000 September into October was just every night, every day, working, 254 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,160 working, working, getting the house with help from a lot of 255 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,960 family, which has been super amazing because it wouldn't have 256 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:28,240 happened literally without them. So it was just like, all right, 257 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,000 we've just got to knuckle down and do this. 258 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,640 This opportunity has come up. I've actually documented the 259 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:36,920 whole story because at so many points along the way, including 260 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,560 before we found out that we could even buy a house that was 261 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:43,280 larger and would fit us better, I like there was just so many 262 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:47,920 like genuinely miraculous crazy situations that just shouldn't 263 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,200 have worked out the way they did. 264 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,640 And so grateful for that journey, as painful as as 265 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,640 extremely exhausting as it was. But yeah, it's, it was just a 266 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,760 month of like, let's, let's do this, let's get it done. 267 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,840 The funny thing was to when we first met with our real estate 268 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,680 agent to sell, we were saying to her, we know we want a four 269 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,560 bedroom house. We just need an extra bedroom. 270 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:10,440 That's all we need is an extra bedroom just to get some kids, a 271 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,840 little bit more space. And then I, I remember saying to 272 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,520 her when she came in, because we were looking at what was 273 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,240 available and that kind of thing and, and we could just squeeze 274 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,520 by like at a four bedroom house. And I remember saying like an 275 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,920 extra living space, like this was like a luxury in my head. 276 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,800 Like an actual living space would be amazing. 277 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,200 And I was like, but I'm not holding my breath. 278 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,360 We just need that fourth bedroom. 279 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,560 She's like easy. So we started working towards 280 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,080 that. And then we saw this House, this 281 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:35,920 house and I, this what I mean by everything was just so perfectly 282 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,800 aligned, difficult, but perfectly aligned it. 283 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,280 Was it was difficult because we made it difficult and I want to 284 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,520 probably touch on that a little bit later. 285 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:47,160 Like a lot of the difficulty was our stress and our anxiety of 286 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,640 things that around it that didn't need to be there. 287 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:53,080 But if we just chilled, it would have been like click, click, 288 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,400 click into place. Like that was our experience 289 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,080 with. This yeah, but we'll come back 290 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,800 to that. Struggling, yeah, more than we 291 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,760 needed to, but yeah, so we at the same time as just deciding 292 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,520 to list and not even being ready to list, like we're still two to 293 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,000 three weeks off because we've got to go. 294 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,080 All these things done on the House. 295 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,560 This house popped up and I was like, that's a big house. 296 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,920 And you know how you see like the floor plan and then you see 297 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,840 the photos and everything looks big, and then you go walk 298 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,760 through the house and it looks smaller in real life. 299 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,760 This one looked really big in the photos and it was like just 300 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,240 outside of our like range. And so we were like, I don't 301 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,920 know. Also we're not really ready to 302 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,520 put an offer on, but we just, I inquired with her and I got a 303 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,840 call the next morning and she's like just letting you know, he's 304 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,520 not quite ready to sell, but he's listing it. 305 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,480 There's a few things he needs to get in place and he's got 306 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,320 tenants so it won't be able to be lived in yet. 307 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,000 And I was like, that is so perfect for us because we aren't 308 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,520 ready to buy. Like we haven't sold our place 309 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,000 yet. It would be, it'd be on 310 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,160 conditional of our sale of their house and we wouldn't be moving 311 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,520 in for a while anyway, so we'd need a long settlement anyway. 312 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,240 We she's like, they've got tenants in, but I can squeeze 313 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,520 you in tomorrow. So we came in like 2 days after 314 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,200 this house was listed and walking through the house we're 315 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,160 just like, this is huge. Like it's so much. 316 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,160 Comparison to our last place like in. 317 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,080 Comparison in comparison to our last place, Yeah, but it's so 318 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,400 much bigger even than it looked on the photos. 319 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,440 And the reason it stood out to us was it had an extra living 320 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,200 room. It had a whole rumpus room, it 321 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,680 had the four bedrooms, a laundry, an office as well. 322 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,640 Yep, and this massive master bedroom. 323 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,840 So like the amount of space that we would be gaining was just 324 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,920 like beyond imaginable for us. The house was rough. 325 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,200 It was, it was in rough condition and. 326 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,680 You get that from from tenants over time, right? 327 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,400 And you know, just in case the. Tenants are listening. 328 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,400 To this but it's we don't know where the mess started and like 329 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,640 it could have. Been a long change. 330 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,560 Yeah, yeah. Tenants. 331 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,880 Yeah, yeah. 'Cause I know that cause one of 332 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,120 the things that was really great about this place, it dropped 333 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,800 $100,000 over a year because they couldn't sell it and they 334 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,680 tried. To sell it the year before and 335 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,560 it was only listed for I think it was 16 days or something like 336 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,880 that and it didn't sell. So then they just re listed it 337 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,880 right when we were ready, which again is another one of those 338 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,480 things. It's like, wow, it could have 339 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,760 sold the year before. So after we saw it, we said, you 340 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,520 know, we're really interested in this place, didn't think it was 341 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,600 going to happen to us. Every step we're like, it's 342 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,480 probably not going to work out, but we're like, we'll talk to 343 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,040 our broker. The broker's like, look, you can 344 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,840 say conditional, conditional on the sale of your house and offer 345 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:22,320 them a low price because of the state of the, the property. 346 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,200 It might not work, but you might as well try. 347 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,040 So we did. And then a few days later she's 348 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,760 like, he's accepted your offer. Well, I think we like met him a 349 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,800 little bit higher than we did, but we like, yeah, we, we did. 350 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,960 We got it was just amazing. Not to get into too much detail 351 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,200 about that, but, and he accepted it. 352 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,520 Condition of our sale of our house, a 90 day settlement, like 353 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,640 all these things just like fell into place and then we're like 354 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,440 all right. And then every step we're like, 355 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,520 but we've got to get our house sold by then. 356 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,080 So that was a whole, whole stress. 357 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,320 On me, yeah, we moved out of our place, our old place, and lived 358 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,080 with my mum for like a month. Yeah. 359 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:59,200 Which was hard because, you know, with a toddler out, we set 360 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,600 up our house for our family, right? 361 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,960 We know our family. We know you know you're baby 362 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,160 proof stuff you don't put. Things you get tired of stopping 363 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,480 him from doing, you make it so he can no longer do it. 364 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,760 Yeah. But then you go and live in 365 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,880 someone else's house for a month and. 366 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,560 There's all the whole new. Things You're unsettled, you 367 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,280 know you're not in your place. His sleep was bad. 368 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,079 It's tough. And then also added to it all 369 00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:21,760 the stress that we were going through as well. 370 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,599 So very gracious of her to open her house to us twice actually. 371 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,280 We lived with her own team, for instance. 372 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,480 And if, again, if that didn't work out, we wouldn't have been 373 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,400 able to do what we did. So we did that and then this 374 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,240 amazing person came through at the last minute to buy our house 375 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,960 and. We were like, oh man, we're not 376 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,000 we're not gonna sell. We've had people walk through. 377 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,480 No, no one wants it. The. 378 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,000 Yard's too small. Like these are all the different 379 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,080 things were coming up like we we need. 380 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,000 Virtual to put your house out there and hear people's 381 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,320 feedback. That is brutal. 382 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,240 Yeah, Especially when you've done a lot of work, like you've 383 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,920 just done a lot of renovations to it, Like that's hard. 384 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:01,040 Yeah, she came through, put the like, accepted what we needed, 385 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,040 everything. Everything. 386 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,480 She was so speedy too. Everything just went Bang, Bang, 387 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,440 bang that week. Yep, and it was done. 388 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,240 And we just kept looking at each other like, Oh my gosh, yeah. 389 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,280 Like we would drive past this house we're in now. 390 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,360 And this location and like location. 391 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,560 Is amazing and we're just like that is our house. 392 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,080 How did this happen? How do we get this place? 393 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,600 Like, yeah, it was crazy. So as we said, the place was 394 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,280 quite rough and we we walked through again. 395 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,360 So the tenants have moved out and the new real estate, the 396 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,440 real estate for our new house is like, do you want to have a 397 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,640 look? And we're like, yeah, cool. 398 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,440 We would love to because we've been driving past the house 399 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,600 every day. We want to go in again. 400 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:40,240 Went in and it was this, the smell was bad. 401 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,280 The the snow was in our noses like for hours after we left. 402 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,760 Like it was bad. And again, I I'm not, you know, 403 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,720 if there's a lot of tenants or the tenants beforehand, these 404 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,480 tenants were only in for a year. Also the house had been closed 405 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,440 up for a couple of weeks after they moved out too so it's 406 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,880 probably just like. And anyway, so we're like, we 407 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,480 can't move into this house with our kids. 408 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,520 Like we just cannot do it. It was the carpet, yeah, that 409 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:04,880 was the issue, that. Was the main issue. 410 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,800 It was really damaged. And so we're like, all right, 411 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,480 cool. Well, what do we need to do to 412 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,640 we started exploring that. Well, we don't have any money. 413 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,640 So your mum helped us out to get the the money for the carpet to 414 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,320 change the carpet over and we had our settlement date and we 415 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,520 had to be out of our house. We were in this in between 416 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,720 period of like what are we going with our furniture? 417 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,240 Even that was wild though, because mum did help us out, 418 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,400 which just eased pressure. Because it's just a timing 419 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,160 thing. All of this whole entire process 420 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,480 is a timing thing. It's like this like tower made 421 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,040 of of cards and one thing out of place is going to topple the 422 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,120 whole thing. And so I was like, I think we'll 423 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,240 have the finances, but we are so close to the line and we needed 424 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,680 it done before we moved in that I'm just not sure when 425 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,200 everything's going to be in place. 426 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,040 So mom very graciously helped us. 427 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,840 But what was funny was like a few days later, I randomly got 428 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,680 given this big chunk of money that I wasn't expecting to be 429 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,400 getting to be paid back for something from a while ago. 430 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,960 And I looked back and it was almost exactly the exact amount 431 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,400 of money we needed for the deposit. 432 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,560 To pay for these these carpets before we moved in like that's 433 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,560 if we if we just waited that would have just covered that 434 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,480 anyway like thankfully it worked out regardless and we. 435 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,000 Were able to pay her back like straight away. 436 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,520 Exactly. It was like just one of the 437 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,240 another one of those things that's like out of the blue, 438 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,640 this money came along that just like was literally exactly the 439 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,040 amount of money we need. Yeah, yeah. 440 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:26,680 And then so we started moving stuff and also I started ripping 441 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:32,280 up the carpets and it was, it was so I threw up like I threw 442 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,680 up from I, I just don't want to go into details too much. 443 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,560 It was. So sad. 444 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:39,920 I felt horrible for for days because it took I did it in a 445 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,280 day. You did it real quick. 446 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,600 I ripped it all out, but it was, it was rough. 447 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:44,520 It was very. Rough. 448 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,640 So that's why if we had to live in this house without changing 449 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,680 anything, that's why it would have been a note, because we 450 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,760 would be unwell. Like genuinely would not be. 451 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,040 Well, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 452 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,560 And then we got in, and now it's been that process of trying to 453 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,600 find everything, figure out sort of what we're going to do, 454 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,360 where's the studio going to go, you know, all this sort of 455 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,800 stuff. And then, yeah. 456 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,600 And then it was a matter of getting the kids ready for 457 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,520 school. Now, first day, we are in a new 458 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,240 place. Yeah. 459 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,320 Because that's the other thing, too. 460 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,960 Like, again, this is sort of just explaining why we've taken 461 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,360 so long to get back up and running again, because we just 462 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:20,840 had so many things on our brain. The end of last year as well, I 463 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,960 didn't finish work too well. Like I, I was just exhausted. 464 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:28,400 I put in some really bad habits for myself on, you know, working 465 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,360 remotely and work life balance and so forth. 466 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,800 Just, I just didn't do well. And then, you know, all the 467 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,840 renovations and everything. So there's a lot of stuff going 468 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,720 on for me personally. And then then that would go out 469 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,600 into the family and we just needed that break. 470 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,000 And it's like you're on pause until that day, which is today. 471 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,280 And yeah, so we do everything. Yeah, we do everything now. 472 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,680 But it's great. Like I, you know, just loving 473 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,800 this time of I feel like I'm awake again. 474 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,800 I feel like, you know, we because the big thing is through 475 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,720 this period. OK, So going down to the purpose 476 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,040 of, of the podcast is communication and relationship. 477 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,440 When we're going through this, like we, we notice that dropped 478 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,440 our ability to communicate dropped everything that we've 479 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:14,320 been preaching and sharing and prioritising when we're in this 480 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,320 stressful hard time. It dropped and it was so easy to 481 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,880 drop and that was quite hard. And so I feel like coming 482 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,560 through this now, even knowing this day was coming, was this 483 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,720 breath of fresh air of like, it's only a season though this 484 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,520 isn't going to be forever. I know this isn't a new norm for 485 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,040 us. We're out of our norm for, you 486 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,280 know, maybe four months or whatever it was, and it's been 487 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:39,520 gradually being aware of that, putting little things in place, 488 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,120 but trying to get through that. So probably my question for you 489 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,360 though aims is from from that, how was that time for you in 490 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:50,880 terms of yourself, your mental health, but also I guess what 491 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,080 were your struggles in in our relationship in that time? 492 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,760 It's funny because we had, like we said, we've moved every year 493 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,080 for until we moved into our previous place here. 494 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,520 And so we're used to moving and I think we or I, we didn't talk 495 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,000 too open like too constantly about this, but I was 496 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,760 anticipating we were going to have difficulties like 497 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,240 everyone's. You always know when people go 498 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,600 away on holiday or when they go on a camp, like because we used 499 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,440 to be youth leaders, I always knew the couples were going to 500 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,480 have arguments on camp. That always happened every 501 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,520 single time. Or you know, you go on a trip or 502 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,600 like you move house. These are the things when you're 503 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,360 going to have an argument basically, and it's not a bad 504 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:32,200 thing like that. I think I was coming into being 505 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,560 like, Yep, we're probably going to argue. 506 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,920 And my best friend had just moved house and I'd watched her 507 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,840 go through the whole process and talk to her about it. 508 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,240 And then literally we started doing it as well. 509 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,560 And I was like, Yep, we're going to have the exact same things. 510 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,800 Like everyone's on edge, everyone's tired, everyone's 511 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,840 exhausted. You're I just found my philtre 512 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:53,960 for being gentle or, or like even just having mental space to 513 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,320 like consider other people's like how to do things gently for 514 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,520 other people, my kids, my husband, everybody was just 515 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:01,640 gone. Like I just hadn't. 516 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,760 It was like I was on edge the whole time. 517 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,840 I was like, I can't even take a second more of mental space to 518 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,000 think about how to say what I'm about to say nicer. 519 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,800 Like I just need to say what I need to say in terms not be 520 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,680 mean, but just like this is what we need. 521 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,040 Like just very straightforward. And I think that's how you get 522 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,280 you get survival mode. I don't think all this sounds 523 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,040 like it's just going to happen. You can't do anything about it. 524 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,880 You can prepare yourselves for these things. 525 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,600 And I think one of the biggest things was that going into it, I 526 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,160 knew that that was going to happen. 527 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,920 And so I had a bit of grace, even though it was tough. 528 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,000 We had moments where it was really like, we're just at each 529 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,160 other for no reason kind of thing, or we're just both 530 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,480 frustrated and we don't even really know what the cause of 531 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,880 the frustration is. I still had in the back of my 532 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,800 mind that's what happens in times like this. 533 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,560 You're all on edge and there's just an extra serving of grace 534 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,440 in terms of both of us. Grace for myself being more 535 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,680 frustrated than I am. Grace for Blair for being more 536 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,720 frustrated than he is. It didn't mean that those 537 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,840 moments were easier necessarily, but it just meant that they 538 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,760 didn't hold the same weight that they normally would. 539 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,920 But yeah, that was definitely tough. 540 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,680 We had times where I like, we just, yeah, I don't know. 541 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,160 We had multiple little, little arguments along the way that 542 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,320 we're just like, wow. That was intense. 543 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,760 Where did that come from? You know, it does not even like 544 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,360 correlate to the actual issue itself in terms of intensity. 545 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,240 Not, not huge intense, just to be clear, but just like, yeah, 546 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,680 it was more intense, yeah. And I think that was one thing 547 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,560 that we were trying to do in this season was figure out like 548 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,440 what's going on for us. Like why am I struggling so 549 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,360 much? Like why am I being so short? 550 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,680 I feel like we kind of swapped a little bit. 551 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:38,120 So for majority of our marriage and quiet a or relationship, I'm 552 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:42,360 quiet A to the point blunt person and I, I can, I just 553 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,880 struggle to think about how the other person receives 554 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,640 information and more about getting my point across. 555 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,920 Not in the self righteous way of like I need to get my point 556 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,080 across, but it's more of like just the way that I process. 557 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,040 I'm like, is this, is this what you're trying to say? 558 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,160 Is this what it is like just I want to get to it so I can 559 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,920 unpack it from there. What's a, you know, all that 560 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,840 sort of stuff. But it comes across quite blunt, 561 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,720 which is being quite hurtful for you in the past. 562 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,680 And I just, it just was, it's been such an effort over the 563 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,080 years to really get into that, still struggle with it, just a 564 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,520 lot more aware of it now. And we've worked on that quite a 565 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,520 lot. And I think it was just kind of 566 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,640 reverse. I was because I knew we were 567 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,080 struggling and I was very much aware of like, and I've got to 568 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,000 put in going OverDrive here. I've really made sure that I 569 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,960 communicate clearly. And then you would communicate 570 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,040 bluntly and I was overly sensitive because I was so 571 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,200 tired. And I'm like, but I'm putting in 572 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,400 this effort. Why can't you put in this 573 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,120 effort? But it was just that we were so, 574 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,320 so much more easily triggered over stuff. 575 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,280 So the issue, we would have an issue on something and we would 576 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,200 find that we weren't discussing the issue. 577 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,480 We're discussing the way that we discussed the issue. 578 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,960 The tone was. It was, it was just, it was. 579 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,960 And then I would, you know, I would get blunt back, you know, 580 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,240 and wasn't that Amy was the only blind person, but it was just 581 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,360 that I was overly sensitive. You were unusually 582 00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:01,560 straightforward and blunt. And it was just like what is 583 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,560 happening? And we did, we unpacked a lot of 584 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,080 that and it kept on coming back to we're tired. 585 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,400 And one big thing is that gave us hope through that period is 586 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,640 to know that it was a season. I think it's really important is 587 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,720 when we do identify, see, identify seasons that we're in. 588 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,520 So if you were struggling as a as a couple identifying the 589 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,600 season, but it's really important in that season, it's 590 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,480 like, well, when's the end date? You know, it's not that this is 591 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,160 the season for the rest of our lives, the rest the rest of our 592 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,560 relationship, because then it's not a season anymore. 593 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,440 Yeah. I think it's, it's about 594 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,720 identifying. It's a season of unusual 595 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,080 circumstances. So we've got unusual triggers, 596 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:44,360 unusual environment, things that are going to add to our reaction 597 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,440 and our relationship in a way that we don't normally. 598 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:50,080 So we're not in default, we're not in normal, but I think the 599 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,480 challenge is to not just be like, because I hear this phrase 600 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,880 a lot like it's a season, you know, early parenthood, it's a 601 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,120 season. And so then almost it's like 602 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,960 it's followed up by so these things won't happen. 603 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,600 So you know, your sex life is going to go down the drain or 604 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,720 your your time together is going to go down the drain. 605 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,800 And I understand it is a season that makes those things more 606 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,440 difficult. But the, the challenge is to be 607 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,200 like, this is the season we're in. 608 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,680 How can we be intentional in that? 609 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,640 And how, like you said, how can we be intentional to move 610 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,080 through that season and come out the other end, whatever the 611 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,680 season may be, without coming out separate? 612 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,120 Basically, you know, you're thinking about young kids, 613 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,360 people. There is a pattern of couples 614 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,520 putting their relationships on hold because they have young 615 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,240 kids and they just don't have time and then ending up not 616 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,480 being friends by the end. Like they don't have a 617 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,320 relationship to come back to when their kids are no longer so 618 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,240 dependent on them. So I think it's the same with 619 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,600 this. Like we had lots of 620 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,600 conversations through this season. 621 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,920 We had lots of times where we were like, and then all of a 622 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,720 sudden having to unpack that. And it was tiring to unpack that 623 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,160 because of all the things going on. 624 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,880 But it was important that we unpacked that because if we 625 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,320 hadn't, those are the things that would sit there and be 626 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,280 like, I would be like, why is he doing this? 627 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,560 Why is he doing this? Why is he doing this instead of 628 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:08,080 being like, I don't like that he did that or that I did that. 629 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,200 It's not how it normally is. Or we've talked through it and 630 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,480 we've explained it and we're going to move on from that and 631 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,960 find intentionality in it. So it is a season, and that's 632 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,760 such a good thing to remember, as long as you don't become a 633 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:23,600 victim necessarily to the season or you don't become like trapped 634 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,280 in the season, powerless because you're not powerless. 635 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,960 And we weren't powerless. It just felt like it. 636 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,600 Yeah. But we had to put things in 637 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,720 place to make that work. I'll start this off, but what's 638 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,720 something the reflection that you're happy with through that 639 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,200 difficulty, right? So for, for example, something 640 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,800 that you brought out in in that season was about how you've for 641 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,440 so long you struggled to actually share. 642 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,520 You've been so concerned about how people feel and that you 643 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,200 struggle to get out what you feel in that season. 644 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,960 You're like, I can't do that right now. 645 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,480 I can't. I don't have the emotional 646 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,360 mental until capacity to think about how you're going to 647 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,840 receive something. I need to get this out because 648 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,800 otherwise it won't get out. That we know is a huge, well, a 649 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,440 huge possibility for unworked through situations and 650 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,720 difficulties, right? So now I actually felt that as 651 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,880 high as it was in that season, as Roar as I felt in that 652 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,600 season, a very big plus because I think that we've now been able 653 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,200 to take that through to now. He's like, well, all right, 654 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,160 cool. That's something that we 655 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,040 identified there is that this is something happy you feel. 656 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:32,040 That wasn't the best way we've handled that in the past, but 657 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,400 now we've identified that we can apply it going. 658 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,760 Forward yeah, that's good. I think I like seeing that we 659 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,440 can do hard things so when you're cruising along like life 660 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:45,160 is never really cruising necessarily but when there's not 661 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,080 big huge challenges like this just felt like a mountain all of 662 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,280 a sudden in front of us. I like seeing that as a team, we 663 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,840 can, we can do hard things and we can push through and have 664 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,000 discipline. And that was really a blessing 665 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,560 to me because I don't always believe that I can do that. 666 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:04,200 And, and I if we haven't tested that out in a relationship, I 667 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,080 wouldn't necessarily know deep down inside, we can do hard 668 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,280 things and we can stay close in hard times. 669 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:13,320 And we, I really liked that we were willing to come back to 670 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,640 each other and be open with what's going on and reflect and 671 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,080 talk about it. And regardless of how those 672 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:23,280 moments were travelled, to come back at the end of it and be 673 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,200 like, OK, this is what's happening. 674 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,120 They know each other better and know each other more like 675 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,440 intimately in that space, which I think is a blessing, even 676 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:36,760 though it's difficult. Hey guys, welcome back for 677 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,640 season 2. It was so great to have you 678 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:39,920 here. We're going to take a little bit 679 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,920 of a break in this in this chat right now. 680 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,400 Just share something fun. What's your What's your 681 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,760 favourite episode of Season 1? Aims. 682 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,680 I think it's a mental aid one, yeah. 683 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,440 Yeah, absolutely. Why's that? 684 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:56,440 I think because it's the biggest like mystery ticket in 685 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,160 relationships and I feel like for us it's been like whoa. 686 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,880 And then for other people it's been the same thing. 687 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,120 And it's it's the I think it's there's so much more to talk 688 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,320 about it and excited to keep tackling that topic in different 689 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,200 ways. But yeah, I think that was my 690 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:11,000 favourite. What about you? 691 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,520 For me, it was our interview with Luke and Susie. 692 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,640 I think it was our, it was our main interview for last season. 693 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,360 And I love hearing from other couples on the way that they 694 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,000 deal with stuff, the way they navigate through difficult 695 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:27,240 situations and circumstances. I just, I get so much from that 696 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,680 and so excited to apply those different things to our 697 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:31,280 relationship. Absolutely. 698 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,680 So anyway, just wanted to highlight that if you haven't 699 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,240 seen those episodes or heard those episodes, go check them 700 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,720 out in season 1 and enjoy season 2. 701 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,480 Let's get back to the episode. Thanks. 702 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,080 So one other thing I want to talk about in this episode is 703 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,800 what are some things that we've been working on personally? 704 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,720 You know, it's been another thing that we identified through 705 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,360 this hard season is like what do we work on together and what do 706 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,720 we need to work on individually? So for myself, something I 707 00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:01,120 actually put a video out on our socials recently talking about 708 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,840 something I want to really work on. 709 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,400 And this is in light of what you're going to be sharing is 710 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:10,040 how do I listen to you when you're coming to share something 711 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,360 with me without going into fix it mode? 712 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,080 I think that's something that a lot of guys struggle with, but 713 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,640 also we also got some females writing as well of, of things 714 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,800 that identifying that they struggle with it too. 715 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,240 And so anyway, this is something that I'm really want to be 716 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,200 intentional on and work through is identifying that. 717 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,760 So what I did, I asked for people to write in on how do 718 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:35,080 they navigate through and help themselves to prevent themselves 719 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,160 from working on for going into fix it mode for their partner. 720 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,760 So this is some stuff that people wrote in on how to stop 721 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,520 going into fix it mode when you're listening to your 722 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,280 partner. So first one is easy is 723 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,920 reflective listening. So before responding, they 724 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,320 summarise what the other person is feeling, right? 725 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,000 So for example, it sounds like you're frustrated. 726 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,560 That's something that I've really tried to put in place of 727 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,240 like, all right, what is it that you're actually feeling right 728 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,120 now? Because it's a lot of times that 729 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,640 you might share something. I'm like, oh, well, it's simple. 730 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,840 This is the solution to that. But I'm not understanding what 731 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:11,600 you're actually feeling because if you're feeling sad, you don't 732 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,400 want to fix something while you're feeling sad. 733 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,199 So understanding the emotion behind what you're sharing was 734 00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:18,800 quite good. So reflective listening. 735 00:34:19,679 --> 00:34:22,840 Next one is ask before offering advice. 736 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,840 So this was a lot of people wrote in on this one. 737 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,320 Do you want me to help fix this or do you need me to just 738 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,639 listen? So having that phrase in place 739 00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:36,239 is something that a lot of people wrote in about, again, do 740 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,120 you want help fixing this or do you want me to listen? 741 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:43,880 And that just gives people like myself that tool or that phrase 742 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,760 to be able to know how to respond in this circumstance. 743 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,679 And then it gets my brain into all right, it's listening mode, 744 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,639 but then it's active listening. You know how it's not just like, 745 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,520 you know, I'm listening, but don't acknowledge anything. 746 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,200 It's a matter of OK, cool. And interacting with the 747 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,680 conversation too validate first. So again, this is part of the 748 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,080 active listening size stuff. Our response can be that makes 749 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,240 total sense why you feel that way. 750 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,000 So, well, I think something that I've had to learn with this 751 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,400 active listening, a big, I feel like a big thing that you're 752 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:20,040 trying to do in that scenario is you're trying to understand 753 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,640 sometimes, is this worth me feeling this way? 754 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,400 Am I stupid for feeling this way? 755 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,320 And with that validation, it's like, well, no, it's not stupid. 756 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,720 It makes sense that you feel that way. 757 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:31,280 It makes sense that you're struggling with that. 758 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,680 So it's it's helping you unpack that as well. 759 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,880 Yeah, there have been times where I I'll talk about 760 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,800 something that's really frustrating me or is very 761 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,640 fascinating to me, and you'll just be quiet and then I'm like, 762 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,000 OK, well, obviously he's not interested. 763 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,160 And then a few minutes later, I'll either ask you and be like, 764 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,640 was that are you not into that stuff or whatever? 765 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,840 Or you'll come out with something you've actually just 766 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,880 been internally processing and you go into like thinking about 767 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,160 it. And so I'm like, he's not 768 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,200 interested, but you're just sitting there like if I was in 769 00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,880 that, I would say this or this or this. 770 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,280 Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I'm either trying, I'm either 771 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,720 trying to workshop it and I don't want to share it with you. 772 00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:06,360 So why I start to shut down? It's like she doesn't want me to 773 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,360 fix it right now, but I'm fixing it in my head and then I forget 774 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,840 to actively listen and put into the conversation. 775 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,920 Let me know that you are invested exactly. 776 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:18,360 Or I'm trying to picture, I picture myself in that scenario. 777 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,360 So I'm like, I'm just playing it in my head of like, ohh, this is 778 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,080 what it be like, you know, So I'm not actually trying to 779 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,440 ignore you. Yeah, I'm in the conversation, 780 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,440 but I'm not responding in the conversation for you to know 781 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,800 that I'm doing. That there's been sometimes 782 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,680 where like I've I've told you a story that's just ridiculous. 783 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:35,440 It's just like, I'm so frustrated. 784 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,320 This person did this thing to someone I love or to me or 785 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,440 whatever, or said this thing and you're just kind of quiet. 786 00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:43,000 But then you've been like, you have been getting frustrated 787 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,440 inside another thing and you just haven't like shown me. 788 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,120 So I'm sitting there like he never cares about these stories. 789 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:55,880 Like I was like standing, yeah, another good one too. 790 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,240 And this is this is like a contradiction to that one 791 00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:00,760 because we just shared was time delay rule. 792 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:06,040 So if your instinct is to fix, take a breath and wait 5 seconds 793 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,480 before responding. And I do that, but then I forget 794 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,840 to respond. So that's a but that's still a 795 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,560 good one is again, just stopping ourselves and getting into the 796 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,800 mind of what am I trying to improve on here? 797 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,120 What's the result that I want? I want the result to be that you 798 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,280 feel that I'm someone safe that you can share with and I'm not 799 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,920 going to go into fix it mode. So taking that that breath is 800 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:28,280 going to help me focus on what's the desired outcome. 801 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,880 And I feel like that's a good technique across the board. 802 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,760 Like it's a good technique to help not be reactionary as well. 803 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,680 If if someone's coming to you with a concern or something that 804 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,240 you might feel defensive in, it's a good idea to take a 805 00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:42,520 breath and just be like, I'm not going to straight away dive into 806 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,800 what I think about this thing. I just need to take a second to, 807 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,680 to kind of ground myself and then respond in maybe a little 808 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,600 bit more appropriate way. Yeah. 809 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:54,680 And body language check if you're leaning in like you're 810 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,800 gonna fix it, you're gonna try and solve it physically lean 811 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,760 back so it's actually a physical thing that you can do. 812 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,440 So if you, you know, you look excited and you, you lean 813 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,040 forward, you're like, all right, this is what we're gonna do. 814 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:06,840 You know, like you need to fix it mode. 815 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,680 You're like, Oh no, take that breath and then lean back. 816 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,840 Yeah, change your posture. Because then again, yeah, it 817 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:17,040 just helps something practical lines, we get to say all these 818 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,360 things help us. Yeah, with that. 819 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,720 So these are the things that I'm trying to apply anyway. 820 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,920 It's not what I've got. I don't do them. 821 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,920 I want to improve on them. And then I've got a lot of 822 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,360 messages as well from from females saying I'm going to 823 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,320 share this to my partner because to remind them we all do it. 824 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,440 Yeah, so this came up from something I've been working on 825 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,320 this, this whole fix it thing, which I'll dive into, but I 826 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,080 sometimes don't even know what I want from you. 827 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,200 Like sometimes I'll share something with you and I'll be 828 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,680 like, like I said, he doesn't care. 829 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,840 He's not invested whatever and whether you are or not is to be 830 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,680 found. But then sometimes you'll be 831 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,640 real fix it. Like especially if it's stuff 832 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,400 that I need to do for myself, like health or mental health. 833 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,760 It's you have a lot of suggestions for how to do that 834 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,080 and I appreciate that. And then I'll be like, hang on a 835 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:00,520 second. That's too much. 836 00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:04,280 But then sometimes I'm like, no, I need him to, he's not giving 837 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,920 me any like insight. It's just like flip flops. 838 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,280 So sometimes I don't even know. So I guess that question, asking 839 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,840 your partner that question helps them think about what it is that 840 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,320 they want out of it as well. As long as you're not asking it 841 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,120 like to be so black and white that you're like, it's either 842 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,120 this or this, figure it out. What do you want from me? 843 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,120 And it's more just like helping both of you be on the same page 844 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,760 about how to navigate the conversation. 845 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,880 I think then that's it. That's a healthy way of going 846 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,440 about it. But yeah, this, this all kind of 847 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,680 stemmed from the last, I guess, since we started to move. 848 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,680 It sort of started a little bit earlier than that. 849 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,920 But I've just had a rough time with my mental health and just 850 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:39,560 processing what's going on there. 851 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,680 And I said to you the other day, because you said I feel like 852 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,520 it's getting worse or more intense. 853 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,880 And I don't actually think it's gotten worse. 854 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,680 I don't think it's something that I'm like worse than I worse 855 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,960 off than I was before. I think it's actually something 856 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,520 that I've just become more and more aware of. 857 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,360 And so that feels like it's worse because it's more on the 858 00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,400 front of my mind. It's kind of it's coming out 859 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:03,200 more intensely. But actually navigating it or 860 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,880 the actual issue itself or the actual challenge, whatever you 861 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,840 want to call it, is not necessarily worse. 862 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,240 I don't think it's grown. I think it's just me being like, 863 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:13,960 yeah, that pattern that I fall into is just really not helpful. 864 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,960 And it's such a constant thing. And suddenly I'm like so aware 865 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,000 that it always happens, whereas it's been happening in my whole 866 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,840 life. So I've had, I've had a tough 867 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,760 time just really feeling low. And I felt low on and off like 868 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,800 my whole life, like I just said that low anxious. 869 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,120 I can never really put words to it. 870 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,800 It's just like, I'm just low. Like everything feels heavy and 871 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,880 I'm stressed and I'm anxious and I'm worried about things, but I 872 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,880 don't have the time. I don't even know exactly what 873 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,600 I'm worried about. I'm just overwhelmed. 874 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,080 And with kids, it's just so much on. 875 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,840 It's like on steroids because you're overwhelmed and then 876 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,280 you're having to like be totally like constantly brought back to 877 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,880 the moment with these little things. 878 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,800 And I found myself over the last couple months having them be 879 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,960 like mom, mom, mom, mom. And all of a sudden it's like I 880 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:58,000 look over and I'm like, you're here and I just, I'm like, what? 881 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,480 Like I just can't like put my brain from this big cloud that 882 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,880 I'm navigating into this tiny question of can you open my 883 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,240 packet of chips or something like that? 884 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:11,400 It's just that kind of contrast is so jarring and overwhelming 885 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,880 and it just adds to the noise in the background. 886 00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,360 Holidays has not helped. It's been fun to have them home. 887 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,320 Like I love watching them play, but they are they everybody's 888 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:25,000 been stir crazy and intense and there's been a lot of change and 889 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,800 everybody's on edge. So it has not helped. 890 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,960 But I've definitely been navigating my mental health. 891 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,720 And part of the way my brain works is I just like somebody 892 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:36,560 just takes over and takes over and takes over until I figure it 893 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,400 out. And so when I can't figure out 894 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,400 what's happening, it just constantly, it's like I'm just 895 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,720 spinning my wheels in mud and it takes up a huge chunk of my 896 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,920 consciousness and even my subconsciousness. 897 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,320 And so then it can feel very overwhelming or numbing. 898 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,680 I've been using that phrase a lot, describing it like numb, 899 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,560 almost like I'm just not really connected to the moment. 900 00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:01,320 And and I've realised that I think, I think I'm navigating 901 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,680 something like OCD, like obsessive thoughts. 902 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,600 And that was a real, when I kind of came to this, I'm going to 903 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:08,960 say conclusion. It's not a conclusion. 904 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,600 I don't have a diagnosis or anything like that. 905 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:14,440 But when I've kind of thought about that as like potentially a 906 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,680 framework over what I'm navigating, it's been really 907 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,760 freeing because I'm like, oh, that makes so much sense why my 908 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,240 brain doesn't, it makes sense why my brain just ticks over and 909 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,040 over and over until I can make sense of something. 910 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,880 It's like an obsessive wheel that's just going round and 911 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,080 round. So it's, it's been a lot to feel 912 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,360 like to figure this stuff out. And I think that the biggest 913 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:37,200 thing is recognising how much my mental health takes from me or 914 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,000 has taken from me as I've like grown up. 915 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,120 Coming to terms with that has been sad because I don't want to 916 00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,000 be not present. I don't want to be always on 917 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,000 edge. I really don't want to always be 918 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,800 worried like I'm always worried. And with the house stuff, every 919 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,320 time, like we said, every step was felt so difficult. 920 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,400 And the main reason it felt so difficult was because I was so 921 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,520 anxious about it and I'm so stressed about it. 922 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,680 And really it kind of fixed itself. 923 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,200 None of my anxiety ever did anything in that process. 924 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,600 None of it, not a single one of my moments of anxiety fix that. 925 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,080 And hindsight is 2020, Amy in the moment wouldn't have known 926 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,640 that. But I think that's yeah, that's 927 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,040 been my big thing is just kind of navigating this whole thing 928 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,760 going on for me. And then I haven't been able to 929 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:24,040 communicate that well with you. And partially, partially that 930 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,920 was because I just felt like every time I came to you with 931 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,720 feeling low or feeling whatever, you'd be so quick to be like, 932 00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:32,920 well, you should go for walks or you should whatever. 933 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,280 Do you want to talk to someone? Do you want to get like see a 934 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,280 counsellor, cold shower, Like these things that are actually 935 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,080 so helpful and have I have been doing and they have been helpful 936 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,240 because I wasn't quite clear on what was going on. 937 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,800 I didn't feel, I'm going to say safe. 938 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,720 I didn't feel unsafe. I didn't feel safe or welcome to 939 00:43:49,720 --> 00:43:52,760 just just throw it out there with you casually without it 940 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:57,120 then becoming a thing. Blair is very like, let's do 941 00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,440 something about that and intentional with everything. 942 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:03,320 And so I always know if I've ever got an idea, especially if 943 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,240 it's something that's like a challenge or like self 944 00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:09,160 discipline related. If I say it to you, then it has 945 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,960 to happen. So it's things like every now 946 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,760 and then I'll be like, I think I'm going to I think I'm going 947 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,760 to get off social media. I'm like totally addicted to 948 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,120 social media. And I almost never tell Blair 949 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,080 when these thoughts come into my head because the moment that I 950 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,680 do, how's it going with being off social media? 951 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,160 But or just keep me accountable, which is what you should be 952 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,160 doing. But I'll just then, then I just 953 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:30,040 like, I'm like, no, I'm done. So yeah, you're just very good 954 00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,560 at staying on track with that stuff. 955 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,160 So I think that's all part of the reason why I just didn't 956 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,320 really express a lot of this until it was kind of more big. 957 00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:38,960 And then you're like, I haven't heard this. 958 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,480 Yeah. And so then we had to process 959 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:41,360 all that. Yeah. 960 00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,680 And which is, again, like these all things that we go through 961 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,320 and every time we do, every time we go through something new, 962 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,520 it's always strengthening what we have. 963 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,800 Yeah. And that's, you know, it is 964 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,680 hard. It is very hard to hear that, 965 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,160 you know, I'm not the first person you go to Forsoft because 966 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,800 of my reactions, but it's I also again, am very practical. 967 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:05,480 So I'm like, cool, what do I need to do now practically to do 968 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:06,760 this? So that's where putting that 969 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,720 video out there reaching out to you guys. 970 00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:11,200 And I just really, really did appreciate that. 971 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,800 Cause again, that's very much my practical mind of man. 972 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,400 I wanna, I wanna fix this. What do you guys do? 973 00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,240 Help me Like, you know, yeah, but yeah. 974 00:45:18,240 --> 00:45:21,000 But also what I loved about that is as you guys helped me, we 975 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,120 were able to help others. Yeah, we were able to share that 976 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,480 that journey too, which was great. 977 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:29,040 And one thing that was cool that I think is helpful is we had 978 00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,120 this big discussion, which is where all this came from the 979 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,880 other day when I was like, I think this is what's going on. 980 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,520 I'm just feeling very low. And then you were like, I didn't 981 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,400 realise. And then I said the fix it 982 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,920 thing. But one thing that I, I was able 983 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:43,320 to say in that was I think I need you to look into and 984 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:47,080 research what it is to support someone with this in case this 985 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,480 is what I've got. And then because it's so, so 986 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,320 hard to take what I'm navigating, learn it about 987 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,880 myself and then tell you what you need to do to support me, 988 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:59,160 especially if I'm feeling like guilty or shame in that space. 989 00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,600 I don't want to be like, now you need to do all these things. 990 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,680 And so I think that's not something that I've really said 991 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,760 before, like I need you to figure out how you need to 992 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,400 support me in this. But I also wasn't sitting there 993 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,800 like, he better know how to support me. 994 00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,480 He better be doing this without me telling him. 995 00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:15,480 Like he should just know that this is what I want. 996 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,080 I I was like, I really need to tell you that I need you to do 997 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,480 this because you were asking me like, how can I support you? 998 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,200 And I was like, I think I need you to look into this. 999 00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,040 ChatGPT has been been the main, the main source. 1000 00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,080 It's not the be all and end all, but it's sure helpful. 1001 00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:35,400 So even that when you're like in the fix it mode, it's so hard to 1002 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,200 not fall into those patterns that everybody's into. 1003 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,640 It's also really hard not to just expect that your partner's 1004 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,480 going to know what you need. And I actually made a video 1005 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,960 about this the other day as well, like we are. 1006 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:50,880 So I don't know if it's everybody, but I definitely, I 1007 00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:54,240 find myself so constantly like expecting other people to know 1008 00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:57,000 what I need or what I'm thinking or feeling about something. 1009 00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,760 And I understand, like someone commented on it and said, yeah, 1010 00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,240 but when you're five years into a relationship, they should just 1011 00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:04,320 know. And I was like, I just don't 1012 00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:07,040 think that's true. There's like things you should 1013 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,800 know, as in like, don't yell bad words at your partner. 1014 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,320 Like that sort of stuff is like basic. 1015 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,320 Toilet seat down after five years, put the toilet seat down. 1016 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,920 But even that, if you've had five years of not putting the 1017 00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,280 toilet seat down and your partner hasn't said, Hey, can 1018 00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,600 you put the toilet seat down? Why on earth would you suddenly 1019 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,440 be like, you know what, I should put the toilet seat down? 1020 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,000 And if you are like that, awesome. 1021 00:47:27,240 --> 00:47:30,400 But for your partner to then be like, he never puts the toilet 1022 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,080 seat down. I just feel like so much we 1023 00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,720 don't, we don't question ourselves and be like, have I 1024 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,480 clearly communicated my need in this space? 1025 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:42,600 Or am I getting frustrated or hurt or whatever, feeling 1026 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,560 neglected in something that I haven't actually sat down and 1027 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,680 said? I need this from you in this 1028 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,040 space. And if we want each other to 1029 00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,480 succeed and if we want our relationship to be the strongest 1030 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:54,760 it can be, why would we not take that time? 1031 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,080 That doesn't mean that they're suddenly going to be everything 1032 00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:58,440 you need. Doesn't mean that they're a 1033 00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,440 constructive partner in your relationship. 1034 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,160 There's so many dynamics at play, but just knowing that 1035 00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:06,680 you've done what you need to do to communicate what you need is 1036 00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,160 really important. Hmm. 1037 00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:09,440 Yeah. So there's some lessons we've 1038 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:11,800 had in this tough time. We could probably talk about 1039 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,360 them for seven episodes. Yeah, but we won't we? 1040 00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,720 Yeah, well, you'll find out. Hmm, awesome. 1041 00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:21,440 Well, that's pretty much what we have the end of our first 1042 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,040 episode back. Man, it was actually really 1043 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,400 nice. I've missed this. 1044 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,440 I've really missed connecting with you on this way because I 1045 00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:30,800 feel like we, we debrief a lot in this space too, you know, and 1046 00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,000 unpack a lot of stuff for ourselves as well. 1047 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,000 So I've missed this. I've loved it. 1048 00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:38,280 I'm so keen to be, I hiccuped. I'm so keen to be back. 1049 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,440 Yeah, same. Which is great. 1050 00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:44,600 But last thing, just to wrap up, I just wanted to share what's 1051 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,480 coming up. So we've got guest speakers. 1052 00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,720 Aims, Who are some guest speakers we have and what 1053 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:51,360 topics? Next week we have such a good 1054 00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,280 episode with someone called Bryce. 1055 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:57,920 He's worked on this game that we actually got gifted last year, 1056 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,120 which is amazing because I think it costs us something like 1057 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,800 $50.00 to send to us from from Canada. 1058 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:08,000 Anyway, it's an incredible relationship game and the reason 1059 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:12,680 we're chatting to him is the, I guess the research and thought 1060 00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:16,240 that's gone into the game and the resource that it is is super 1061 00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:20,000 interesting and unique. And the spin that he has in his 1062 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:24,040 conversation about relationships and about how to like, grow and 1063 00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,320 understand each other better is really fascinating. 1064 00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,280 So I highly recommend. He's a great chat. 1065 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:32,320 He's really like easy to get along with, very funny. 1066 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,680 And yeah, he's going to be our first guest next week. 1067 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:37,560 Watch this space. Super good episode. 1068 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,680 And we've got so many others. We've got an author and her 1069 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:45,040 husband, very powerful speakers talking specifically on the 1070 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,080 topic of intimacy. We've got people talking about 1071 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,760 finances, people that were in a a difficult stage of their 1072 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,720 relationship. And we're willing to let U.S. 1073 00:49:52,720 --> 00:49:55,960 chat to them in that space, which was super special as well. 1074 00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:57,920 And we've got some awesome guests that are coming up. 1075 00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,400 And and yeah, I just, I don't want to spoil too much, but 1076 00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,200 watch this space. They're really, really valuable 1077 00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:04,560 episodes. Yeah, other things that are 1078 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,680 coming up. So we are having more 1079 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,520 opportunities for you, our listeners, to speak into these 1080 00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,880 episodes as well. So we've opened that up again. 1081 00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:14,360 If you haven't signed up, go to our website at home. 1082 00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,200 We need to chat.com, register there. 1083 00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:17,720 You can put in your stories there. 1084 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:20,120 You can send a recording in and we can actually play your 1085 00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:23,400 recording live, not live, but on the episode, on the episode, 1086 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,160 live on the episode. And it can be also completely 1087 00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,720 anonymous if you want to. There's completely anonymous 1088 00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:31,440 ways of putting your story in as well, if that's helpful. 1089 00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,040 Yeah, it's anonymous to us as well. 1090 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:34,960 Yeah, and I'll chat. That does have more of a say 1091 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,760 into the what we're doing in topics we're doing and stuff 1092 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,080 like that as well, which is really exciting. 1093 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,400 And yeah, that's pretty much it. We're just going to be looking 1094 00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,840 into, again, communication importance, importance of 1095 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,760 communication in a relationship and how we prioritise that in 1096 00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:51,800 our relationships to make our relationship stronger. 1097 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,800 Because when communication dies. Bad things happen. 1098 00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:59,240 All right guys, if this episode related to you at all, we want 1099 00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:01,760 to hear from you. Please comment on the socials, 1100 00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,680 please message us. We'd love to hear from you guys 1101 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:06,640 if this meant anything, if it, if it resonated. 1102 00:51:06,720 --> 00:51:09,120 Also, if you've heard anything in the episode that you're like, 1103 00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:12,000 oh, I've got a really good tip for this or I we've navigated 1104 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,520 this and this is how we've gone through it. 1105 00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:17,160 We would love to hear from you because as we saw on your video 1106 00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,680 the other day, it's super impactful when people actually 1107 00:51:19,720 --> 00:51:22,200 give their insight into it as well. 1108 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,920 Yeah. So please do contact us. 1109 00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,880 We would love to hear from you guys and not just be an echo 1110 00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,560 chamber here. Thanks guys. 1111 00:51:29,720 --> 00:51:30,680 Good chance. See ya. 1112 00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:30,920 Bye.