Cheers. Welcome back to another episode
of Strapping. This week we're talking about
Red and Green Flags slash IX. I feel like the irony is not
lost on me that we're talking about IX on a podcast.
Why? 'Cause it's so icky to have a
podcast. Is it?
Oh no. But that's OK.
I think what I realised when putting pen to paper about IX is
that I all of my I live and breathe all of my icks.
No, I was thinking on the way here.
I was like, I am such an icky person.
Yeah, I think I'm also. Yeah.
And a walking red flag really. I just feel like quite acted by
the submissions. No offence to the listeners, but
your submissions, I feel personally attacked by some of
them particularly. Yeah, we'll get into them.
I feel like being a red flag is considerably worse than being an
ick as well. What?
Really. I think so, yeah.
OK, well what is a red flag compared to an ick then?
Well, I think an ick is more like something potentially just
a little bit irritating, a little bit like just makes the
other person cringe and not be attracted to you.
A. Turn off.
A turn off, That's the best way of putting it.
Whereas I would say a red flag is more like get, get out, get
out. No, OK.
The red. Flag is like the warning time.
Yeah, yeah. Like this person's bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.
And the green flags are. This person's great Marry,
marry, put a. Ring on that, wipe that shit up.
That was Nick. My arm wasn't Nick.
So we've got some of our own and we're going to talk about the
submissions, but do you want to kick us off with one of your red
flags? I think a red flag for me, which
I've experienced quite a few times is when someone takes ages
to text you back but instantly watching and interacting with
anything you do on social media like liking stories or watching
your story straight away but like not texting you that's.
Bold. Yeah, have you not had?
That no, I haven't had that, but I think that's because I've been
dating. I've been with the same person
for so long. It's probably preceded seen on
stories, but also yeah I can imagine that would be jarring.
I wouldn't have the audacity to maybe interact with him at all
if I hadn't replied over a message.
That is bad, but. That's it as well, and I don't
mind if you don't want to reply, but just leave me alone.
I think texting. I had a really bad one the other
day sorry it's just hit me this girl has like not ghosted me is
a bit strong but her just like stopped replying.
Are we going to talk about this? On here, we're going to talk
about on the forecast, OK, because I was so rattled by
this. By her not replying.
No, that's fine. Don't need to reply.
No one, no one owes me a reply. That's fine.
But she gave me kudos on Straw. Oh thank God, I thought you were
going to say LinkedIn. No, Oh my God, no.
She. Gave you kudos on straw.
That's a such a you sentence. Fuck me that is bad.
But imagine if she like did one of those automated replies under
your LinkedIn like. Congratulations.
Yeah, that is bold. I think all like, all form of
like text games. That's a nick for me.
Red flag. Sorry.
All form of like games when replying to messages is a red
flag. I agree.
I can't be arsed really anymore. I'm just like, if I want to
reply to you, I'm going to reply straight away.
I'm not going to be embarrassed do.
You know what I mean? Like we're old.
Crack on. Time is running out.
I'm going to be dead, OK? One of mine is that I had to
learn from many, many years of being burned.
When they say they're only gay for you, like, don't judge me.
But I used to think that was a compliment.
It's not. It's literally not like, spoiler
alert, they're not gay. They're not fucking gay.
Like I was like, Oh my God, I've got this like talent of like
turning straight girls. Oh, they are gay, and they're
too deeply in the closet. Yeah.
And they're just, Yeah, they have.
They're locked in there for life.
Oh, sorry, is. That the girl.
Good. I'll give you.
Yeah. And like, this is my first
relationship. That I'm dating someone who is
queer. Really.
Yeah. Wow.
I know. Isn't that bad?
That is crazy. I would like to blame my, my
upbringing on that because I surely didn't have access to
gays. So I just, I went for the
nearest person. Do you know what I mean?
I wasn't even willing, really, really willing to accept that I
was gay for a long time. So then it felt easier just to
be with someone who were, we were both like, oh, isn't this
kooky lesbian thing? But yeah, when they're only say
they're gay for you guys, don't fall for it.
This is another one where I feel like I've been burnt too many
times. Someone that changes when
they're drunk, like, but not in a good way.
Oh yeah. Like, if they are they nasty, do
they become a bit argumentative? Are they like just someone that
totally changes personality? I feel like that's a walking red
flag. And like, that's happened to me
too many times where I should have just seen it coming.
Yeah. You can't say oh, sorry,
Depending on what it is, yeah. Oh, sorry, I fell over, I was
drunk. Or oh, sorry, I like.
Yeah, sorry I slapped your mum. I probably wouldn't accept.
That yeah, saying I'm sorry I was drunk is not an excuse.
It's just saying, stating a fact.
It's not actually because like when people say like, oh, the I
don't know, I was just drunk. I didn't mean it.
But it's like, don't. Do you feel like the truth comes
out when you're drunk? I think no, not always.
I do. I do sometimes think I'm.
Not. Thinking about all the bad
things I've done when I've pinched.
Should we move on to some green flags?
Yeah, let's do. You want to kick us off?
Sure. I feel like maybe I just wrote
things that I think are important to me, yeah.
That's, I mean, that's fine. So.
I think someone that challenges you with kindness, I don't know
how else to word that, but like someone that isn't afraid to
like constructively criticize you, but does it in like a
really nice way. Like don't know where that's
like pulling you up on things or challenging something that
you've said. But I think like, yeah, just
someone that's like kind of honest and grounds you a little
bit. I feel like I've seen this
happen in your relationship, one for me which is kind of similar
to you. Like I think having hobbies and
passions is really important. Shared ones or I don't think.
It has to be shared. I think it can be shared.
I don't think it has to be. I would go as far as to say it's
good to have different hobbies. I'd say it's good to have the
like. The best situation is where you
have the same values but different hobbies.
So you can go out and like you can enjoy some stuff together,
but then like go out and they might do something on a Saturday
morning. You might go and do like you
have your separate lives and they've also got something else
that like gives them a kick. Do you want to give me another
one? OK, someone that's nice to
strangers. Do you?
Know what I mean? Great. 1.
Like, they always like, smile at people.
Yeah, that is amazing. When I was on the cheap here,
yeah, I was walking through Finsbury Park and the guy went
happy Friday and I went happy. I'm sorry.
But that is so Finsbury Park. When you smile at people in
public, are you smiling with your teeth?
No, I don't think you are. I think it's like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean.
No one's going like. Yeah, yeah, but you bite your
lip like that. No, I was just thinking, I love
it when people have randomly giggling to themselves in public
solo on the tube or something, you know, and someone's just
like having a giggle. I'm always thinking, I wonder if
you've just had a funny text or you've just remembered something
funny when you listen to a funny podcast.
I always think that's cute. Yeah, that is cute.
Oh, that never happens. Everyone's so grumpy in London.
So submissions. What is the?
What is the first green flag submission?
So the first green flag submission is healthy
friendships brackets. Big group of lesbian friends.
Yes, that is a really big green flag.
I feel like it needs to come with like the understanding that
not everyone has found that group yet because it is quite
hard to find. I don't know, I feel like it can
be quite hard to find quit friends, as we were talking
about in our first episode. And I'd hate to like, hold it
against someone who has for one reason or another, maybe their
upbringing, maybe their school not had that much access to
queer people. Personally, I don't feel
massively like their friends need to be lesbian friends
really. I think it's cool and that's
it's funny. Because it's come up so much in
our submission, so many people said that.
I guess I think it's a good sign, but I wouldn't.
I guess it means that they're kind of more comfortable in
their sexuality. You know that, you know that
they've got people around you that you can talk to you about,
like don't know queer, your queer stuff and your
relationship that you can relate to.
It definitely wouldn't make me second guess dating someone if
they didn't have lesbian friends, yeah.
Me too. They can.
Be hard to find. If they didn't have friends that
would be different. Another listener submission was
being relaxed enough to pop pimples together, which I think
is just a broader thing about being relaxed together.
I think that is so important though, but some people might
not think that that is nice or good or something that you
should do with a partner. But like, yeah, relax enough
that you're like able to fart and burp.
Maybe not birth. Actually I.
Mean it's going to happen. Yeah, maybe there's.
Like a drawing I think maybe I draw the line and like poo
pooping. Have you not pooed in front of?
Your girlfriend? No, I rarely poo anyway, but.
Oh wow no I've done that loads. I mean with my ex.
What? Was like the door open?
Maybe that's why I could dance. Wait with the door.
Open. Well, no, I live with
housemates. But what do you mean no?
When no when we when I used to go to hers and she didn't have
housemates though. But sorry when you say you'd
like poo with her like. I don't mean with her.
OK, So what do you mean but. I'd be doing a poem, we'd be
having a chat. With the SO in the same room.
Yeah, at a festival we did a poem and Porsley together.
OK, wow. I think I, I think that's a step
too far for me. Yeah.
But I feel like I like, I am quite open, so it's good to know
that I've got a line, yeah. I mean no fair.
I mean, maybe I won't do that again.
I mean, who's the single one? Fuck sake, it's me.
Maybe if I pooed more, I'd feel differently.
But yeah, you know, I do think that popping pimples and stuff
like that, like that is a sign that you're like, in a really
good actually, Maybe it's not because I know people that would
be like, Nah, that is like something you should do with
your friends or just on your own.
With your friends. I'm not doing that with my
friends. What, you don't like picking
grown hairs? Together.
No, no, no, I've never done that with a friend.
Neither. We're only getting in my heads,
mate. Like I'm not gaming, but I've
pulled them out of my friend's legs.
Oh fat no, I've not done that with my friends.
It's great past time I also. Haven't done a poo in front of
any of my friends but you. Do with your relationship.
Sex is different, isn't? It, I think, I feel like there's
got to be some element of keeping the flame alive, yeah.
Well, so you think you're keeping the flame in your
relationship alive by not pooping in front of your
partner? I think that it definitely adds
a little bit of mystery when, OK, when she's not sat Sarah and
there I'm like giving birth to an arm and speaking to her at
the same time. What so could she hear?
Like the hoop into the toilet Because she's in the room with
you? I guess so, yeah.
When you put it like that doesn't sound very nice.
Wow. I have a tactic where I say, oh,
I'm getting stage fright, can you leave?
And then I poop. Oh yeah, yeah, try it.
Noted. Wow.
Yeah, watch the girls come flooding in, mate.
I should probably stop peeing in front of girls on 1st.
Date I think. OK, I'm like why am I single?
I just can't get a second date. I don't know what it is.
You're there on the toilet. Like are you having?
A good time, actually. I would go as far as to say it's
a red flag if someone doesn't find farts funny.
Yeah, that's fucking. That is inherently funny if
you're not laughing at a little. Yeah, yeah, God help you.
Yeah, if you can't laugh, where's the joy?
In life, yeah, maybe you will at the same time.
OK, we're going to move on now to our ICS.
Mine are a bit brutal. I would say mine are.
Mine are just quite. Specific, yeah.
Should I start with one go? One of my very specific ones go.
I find it so icky when someone makes someone else feel bad
about their music taste or like act as if like their music taste
is like the music taste. It works the other way as well.
A lot of people will be like oh like dance music?
Like they'll either be like, if you like anything that's not
dance music, like you're an idiot, or they'll be like, dance
music's terrible. Like it's so boring.
I'm shooting on other. People, it's just taste you
have. We all have a taste.
Yeah. You don't like dance music?
That's OK. Do you know what I like?
You're hard relate. Or you're you love dance music
and this person's like Taylor Swift.
Is that cool? Let let everyone live.
Let. Everyone live.
And enjoy what they want to and. Don't insult drum and bass.
I find it very icky. You're not better than that, do
you know what I mean? No one's better than a bit of
drama. Or Justin Bieber for that
matter. So.
Love him, Yeah. On the subject of music, if you
can't dance or like in specifically like really like
basic white girl dancing. Yeah, can I, I'll.
Show you what I mean. Yeah, go.
If you can't do that, or you do do that.
I was wondering if that was it if you do that like this.
If you do that, you don't like it.
The fingers, pointing fingers. Oh, what this thing?
No, no, it's because it's got a bit of rhythm to it.
It's like this. Up or this?
Really. Are you joking?
But you came over to me and I'm like this.
Yeah, doesn't bother me, but I can see it.
I don't think so. Yikes.
I can't think of a time I've been like, I don't want to date
you because you're dancing badly.
I can think of an exact time and moment where.
I don't feel like anyone. Really liked someone and then I
saw them dance and I was like OK, that's that over.
I think everyone I've dated has been.
Can I say I'm not saying that I'm.
I don't think I'm a great dancer, but if you're actively,
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Like you can hear the rhythm. Yeah, Yeah.
If you can't hit rhythm, I think it because it reminds me of of
like, like white men. And I don't like that.
Like, like, you know how boys just generally can't really
dance? Yeah, I think it reminds me of
men because I feel like girls are cooler than that.
So just like. Bust a moon.
Yeah. Bust a bloody moon.
Does that mean maybe it's mean fine so?
Me, we'll take that. We'll take that.
Can I just ask because as someone with Nelly allergies, is
that an ick like someone with a lot of food allergies slash
intolerances? I think if you're gay and you
find people with food intolerances, slash allergies an
ick, you will be single for the rest of your life.
Why don't gay people I've dated it's.
Trauma. I've dated it.
Lived in your summer celiac. I've dated like, yeah.
You're sipping on gluten free beer, babes.
Yeah, it's lovely. Yeah, I'm, I'm here for you know
what it's. The trauma from homophobia, from
being closeted, it lives in your belly.
There you go. Well, there you go.
I'm sorry. So.
You're I'm pro, why are you going to make a move on me?
No, I just need to need you to tell me that I'm not a walking
red flag. I've got a good one which I'd
like your take on actually. Go on.
I get the ick if someone has too much of an expensive taste.
Oh I've not thought about that before.
I've dated someone before. Who just bit glitz and glam?
Yeah, and like, can't enjoy. Simple pleasures, yeah, that is.
Do you know I? Find it really icky actually.
I've never thought about that before, but actually I dated
something like that and it yeah, I've got quite a niche 1 go
someone that licks the yoghurt off the yoghurt pot lid.
Why? It honestly makes me I feel
quite emotional. I absolutely hate it.
What about drinking out of a carton in the fridge?
That's OK. Oh, wait, I'm actually kind of
gag. I just keep picturing someone
licking the lid of the yoghurt. Yeah, yeah.
I've got another one, it's quite specific, a bit like your
yoghurt lid 1. Bobble hats.
No one looks good in a bobble hat.
Oh. The thing that has the.
Pom pom one thought. That brings me back to like
2012. Yeah.
Like with Mittens and Bob? Yeah.
I actually gloves that's quite a nice.
Glove Millennial mum thing to do?
Bobble hats, Gloves. Gloves don't mind.
Scarves. Scarves can look cool.
I don't think gloves ever look cool.
What about fingerless? Gloves spit Fagan.
Who? Oliver Twist.
Yeah, yeah, you've got a pick up pocket or two.
Yeah, it's rich in this week, but all burglar esque, but you
can get like what about nice mittens or like crocheted ones?
I think the ball will have fair, but like it's fucking cold in
England in winter. What do you just?
I just let my hands go cracked and grow.
Yeah, and that's not absolute. You.
Open your hand. It's like OK, headbands and
polka dots together. Not not not this type of
headband. Let me show you the exact type
that I mean. OK, I'm not going to lie, what
I'm getting shown right now, I've never seen.
I've never seen someone over the age of nine wearing are.
You joking? I see loads of girls wearing
that. I've never seen polka dot dress
and I'm like do you live in a grade 2 listed building or is
your surname Mountbatten? Like what's going on here?
I've never. I've never seen those on anyone
that's not a child, really. They're the ones who get your
name. Like children?
Yeah, yeah. No, I've never seen that on one
of them. And if I did, I would get, yeah.
Yeah, thanks. Fair.
I've got a quite specific one. OK, go someone who's too quiet
in the bedroom. OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like.
Give me something. Give me like, are you dead?
Like what's going on? Like even if it's just a heavy
got like a heavy breathe breath, like heavy breathing something,
maybe a cheeky moan, but like do something to let me know.
Like I'm not. I don't want to have sex with a
robot. Yeah, yeah.
You want to feel like they're enjoying it as well.
Yeah, I think maybe all of these are just like.
I need my ego. Boosted.
Yeah. Smiley piercing.
What's that? Get out smiley piercing.
Here those two. No, I've not seen one of those.
Shut. Up in a while.
That's it. 2012 maybe? I saw them like the other day
and it I just got me thinking like does that not get caught?
Like would I get caught? Like what?
Food was stuck. Piercing was getting caught.
I was once getting off of someone in our nose rings got
caught, no word of a lie. And we had to like I was like,
Oh my God, we're stuck and we had to like really carefully
disconnect them. And I told someone I know this
story and then completely independently she heard the
story again and she realised she was talking to the girl that.
Shut up. To be fair, if that happened to
me, I'd be telling the town that's a fucking good story,
yeah. It's a great story.
Any other piercings that you think are absolute?
No nose. I've never been with anyone with
a clip piercing but that would scare the fuck out of me that.
Is not real. Surely that would hurt so much.
Is that a real thing? Yeah, I think so.
Did you just make that? Up maybe.
I don't know. I don't think it's a clip
piercing. It's like a vagina.
I don't know. Like it must be the hood.
I don't know. Fuck, that must be probably the
most. That's got to be the most
painful piston that you could ever get, surely?
Yeah, I guess, yeah, yeah, 100% yeah.
Apart from what about those piercings, the corset piercings?
They won't be that painful, but you know they look mental down
your. Spine yeah, that is a nick for
me. That is like if someone, if you
imagine if you're getting something and then you put your
hands in the back and it's like, and you're like, where does it
end? He's going down and you're like,
oh, maybe they've had surgery. Like, no, OK.
For my final one for me wearing a headset to play games.
Yeah, that's. Are you like, are you an incel?
Or what? Do you know someone who does
that? Do you know a lesbian who does
that? Yes, quite a few.
Oh yeah, Who? I'm not.
No, don't. No.
You can't make it. OK, I've got a good one.
Go on. Knowing too much about you too
early on. Like, I went talk about like,
yeah, like BB reindeer. Pardon.
I went on a date recently and she'd gone through my Spotify.
No way. And I was like.
How do you know? Because she said she was like, I
went through, this was her first date, first Hinge date.
That's funny. She was like, yeah, I went
through Spotify. Was she like in her full
cognitive faculties? I don't know.
Anyway, I felt like naked. I was like, there's so much shit
on that. Oh my God, I'd think that's like
a real window into the soul if someone saw my Spotify.
Like there's some girly pop on there that I don't want anyone
seeing. Flash.
Like a really good and hard weeping playlist.
Any more X for me? No more X.
That was really enlightening actually.
Yeah, I've. What I've learnt is that I'm a
walking red flag and I need my ego massaged heavily.
I. Would hit so many people.
'S icks in fact. Having a podcast, being a DJ if.
Anyone turns up next week like that will be a fucking miracle
after this episode. If anyone turns up.
Oh, what for the next episode? Yeah, yeah, we've probably
itched you all out. Yeah, sorry about that.
Should we play? Sounds gay have.
We itched them out though. We didn't talk about that the.
Baby boy, the ultimate 10. That is the ultimate retard.
I'm just throwing up in my own mouth.
It's horrible. Oh, but don't please stay in
with me. Oh no.
Why is it so like? It's just horrible.
It really hits the back of my brain.
You're back in the brain it. Doesn't want to be hit.
Yeah, fuck it is genuinely the worst worst thing ever baby
voice. Is that off with off with his
head? Off with his head.
No, you're getting, you're getting prison, jail life, Yeah.
Ended. Cancelled.
Gone. Play sounds gay.
Go and hit me. OK, a charcuterie board.
Straight. Why?
I think that's gay. I think it's straight because I
think of a charcuterie board as being very meaty.
Oh, you're so right. Yes, and we've got a plant based
queen. Veggie and vegans amongst us.
I do see like a little cheese and wine like set up in East
London being quite clear. Yeah, natural wine.
Yes, orange wine. Or is that actually me?
I feel like the straights have taken over all the East London
wine but. We're taking over our.
Stuff fucking Dicks but they can have the sharky tree meaty
boards. Yeah, that's a good one though.
OK, I've got one for you go. And I think this is I'll be
interested to your take crochet. That's gay as fuck.
That's the gayest thing. I mean, I'm literally dating on
crochet. So dating it's acting like we've
been going out for three weeks. I think crochet is inherently
gay. I think if someone out there is
like I see old ladies doing it in their like lesbian care
homes. I think it's a very gay pastime.
I think it's crafty. I think it's fun.
I think it's you're just quirky and all the right ways.
Do you think it's straight? No, I think it's, I think it's
gay. A little crocheted, in fact, hit
up re Stitched by Amy to get your queer crocheted ties.
I've got a tie that crochets. I'm going to wear it to my tuba.
That's it. It says dyke on it.
I want one. Do you want one?
Yeah. I need to.
Hit so buy re stitched. Sick.
Do you want one last one go? Using the word epic as a
descriptive Oh, that was epic straight.
Yeah, it is, isn't it? That was epic Me.
I feel like that's a word that I feel like epic is a word that
one stage I would have started saying ironically and then
wouldn't have been able to stop saying but then stopped saying.
It feels very sarcastic to say. Epic.
No it doesn't. I thought I thought I would use
that word sarcastically. One more go lava lamp gay gay
gay fun and funky. I want a lava.
Lamp. Should we get one?
Yeah. Boom.
Should we click and then it's there?
I gave myself the. Ick yeah, that was.
Really bad clicking is quite icky.
Yeah, especially if you're clicking at someone.
Oh, I thought I was sort of meaning more like picking.
To the beach. Yeah.
Should we leave it there? Yeah, I think we've probably
given you enough X. OK.
So hopefully see you next week if we haven't given you the yet,
cheers for. That cheers for that.
OK, walking red flag.