1 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:07,280 Welcome back to the Stop to Think podcast. 2 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:11,240 Today's episode is called The Person Behind the Performance. 3 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,680 If you've listened to the previous episode, which was a 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,720 guided relaxation called Back to Calm, then you've already 5 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,800 experienced what we've been inviting people to do throughout 6 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,720 this series, which is to pause, to slow down, and to create a 7 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:29,440 little space between themselves and the noise of everyday life 8 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,640 as we look to lead a more intentional life. 9 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,640 Today we're going back almost three years ago as we continue 10 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,280 the conversations that started with Doctor Ray three years ago, 11 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,280 which is where Stop to Think was really born. 12 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,800 What I didn't realize at the time was what was being 13 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,280 developed. Doctor Ray was helping me 14 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,640 uncover something that I had spent much of my life searching 15 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,760 for. And in this episode, we ask a 16 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,480 simple but profound question. Who are you? 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,880 Not what you do, not what you've achieved, but who are you 18 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,040 really? Ray introduces one of the most 19 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,600 powerful concepts we've discussed, and this is the 20 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:15,000 difference between your front stage and your backstage. 21 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:20,280 Your front stage is the version of you the world sees, and your 22 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:24,120 backstage is the conversation you're having with yourself when 23 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,920 no one else is around. For many of us, those two worlds 24 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,960 can be very different. We spend so much time 25 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,480 performing, proving, striving, and seeking acceptance that we 26 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,720 can often lose touch with who we really are. 27 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:42,880 This conversation explores what happens when we stop long enough 28 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:47,280 to turn inward. We talk about value, identity, 29 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:51,000 meaning, and the journey from feeling like there's something 30 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,800 missing in your life to discovering the essence of who 31 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,880 you truly are. One of my favorite moments in 32 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:02,040 this conversation is when Ray asks us to consider 4 simple 33 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,080 questions. Who are you? 34 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,520 What is your value? Who do you serve and how do you 35 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,280 serve? As you listen, I encourage you 36 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:15,560 to not just hear the conversation, but to reflect on 37 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,720 your own answers to these questions. 38 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,840 Because Stop to Think has never really been about Ray and me. 39 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,360 It's about creating a space where you can stop long enough 40 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,120 to hear yourself enjoy the conversation. 41 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,600 And I'll see you with Doctor Ray after this. 42 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,000 The greater things that are stuck in somebody. 43 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,480 How are you, Doctor Ray? I'm well. 44 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,280 I'm well. Ray, let's, let's talk about 45 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,000 kind of where we are at the moment and let's just review a 46 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,440 little bit of what we're doing. Because if I was listening to 47 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,520 this podcast, I'd be thinking, who are these people? 48 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,960 What are they talking about? What's the big, what's the big 49 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,400 vision here? Why should I pay attention to 50 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,440 what's going on here? And I'd, I'd just love to know 51 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,400 what, what's on your heart? What, what are you thinking 52 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,920 right now in terms of kind of where we are and what we're 53 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:25,520 doing, where we're going? Yeah, we, well, we, we discuss 54 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,120 it quite regularly. And I did say that I have a lot 55 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:33,520 of empathy for where you are having going through this 56 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:38,040 transition in the midst of grief and having devoted yourself to 57 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,120 the, the professional, personal and professional development of 58 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:47,840 people almost all of your life. To start to engage in 59 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:54,920 intentionality in a new, fresh way has got to be both 60 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,280 challenging to you and those that have got used to listening 61 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,800 to you in a space. But you've just shared with me 62 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:07,440 that no, you, you feel completely in line with the 63 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,440 direction. And I think it's worthy of 64 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:15,200 noting that through our relationship, your, your focus 65 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:19,000 has been towards a goal of being a people's coach. 66 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,480 So one of the, the challenges here now, and we're discussing 67 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:29,120 it now is how do we break down intentionality simply for people 68 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,920 to embrace? How do we make that just 69 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:35,760 accessible to everyone? How does it become really 70 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,800 something that people, Oh, I like that. 71 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:43,840 So we, we know, Pete, we talk about mindful intentions and 72 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,360 that makes sense to us. But for the everyday person 73 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,600 struggling with life and they're just on default firefighting 74 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:56,920 every day, we've talked at length about how do we simplify? 75 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:01,080 And that's not always easy, but I think we're going to, as I 76 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,360 just said to you a minute ago, we're going to fail forward 77 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:07,400 because I, I do believe that there's nothing perfect in life 78 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,200 and we're getting some great feedback. 79 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,880 And I think the question is how do we help people navigate their 80 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,960 everyday? Thank you for that. 81 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,920 I'm just making a few notes and in terms of what you're looking 82 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,680 for, what what, what is it that you'd like to see happen from 83 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,040 people that get on the bandwagon and follow us? 84 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,960 What's what's your intention behind all of this? 85 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,680 Well, I think it's quite similar to where you are. 86 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:43,400 It's given access to information, philosophies and 87 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:47,600 just support that. Anyone that wants to make a 88 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,240 change, anyone that feels quite frustrated with where they are, 89 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,240 there is normally something they can do. 90 00:05:56,360 --> 00:06:00,480 That obviously means feeling empowered and it's so easy in 91 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,000 life for us to become disempowered, to become 92 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:09,520 disenchanted and frustrated. So my hope and aim is that in 93 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:16,000 these conversations that on some level we support those who are 94 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,360 on a quest for positive change in their life, positive change 95 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:25,640 in their relationships. You know, I, I often say taking 96 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:32,840 someone from a whole HOLE to whole WHOLE. 97 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,760 And I think that's the question I would ask anyone who's 98 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,240 listening to this today. Are you whole or are you whole? 99 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,000 Oh, I like that. I do like that. 100 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,720 This is what you've kind of done for me. 101 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:51,640 You've, you've shone a light on who I am, what I do, which is 102 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,280 what I know you love to do with the work that you do. 103 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,440 So you've said a few things to me recently and it just reminded 104 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:03,000 me of I was studying, I did some, I worked in the field of 105 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,960 neurolinguistic programming years ago and I did the trainer 106 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,880 training. So I did the practitioner, the 107 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,160 master practitioner, the trainer training. 108 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,720 And I never forget this guy come up to me who I knew actually, he 109 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,080 said something to me really profound. 110 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,040 He said, Pete, you're really good at kind of putting on this 111 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,200 front and having all this energy, but when are we going to 112 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,800 see the real you? And I, I remember that it hit me 113 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,080 really hard and it made me just think, God, how much of an act 114 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,280 am I actually putting on in being who I'm being? 115 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,480 And that was a long time ago. This was in my 20s. 116 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:39,720 I'm now 53. And now I, I, I'm, you know, in 117 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:46,800 being intentional, I think being intentionally myself is really 118 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,440 where the magic is AT. And I and I, if you were asking 119 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,200 me, what do I want people to get out of coming on this journey 120 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,880 with us? It's about definitely that's a 121 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,000 big part of it. Intentionally being yourself, 122 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,440 knowing who you are, knowing the value that you bring to the 123 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,280 world and being able to stop. It's like when I see the sun 124 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,520 behind you, it, it forces me just to kind of stop and 125 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,960 contemplate of where I actually AM and, and what I'm doing. 126 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,640 And I suppose that's what I'm, I want. 127 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,880 I want people to stop and, and appreciate just who you are. 128 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,280 Maybe you are in a hole at the moment and, and the goal is to 129 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,680 be more whole, to be more yourself and to feel that you 130 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,120 know and you value who you are. And this is something we will 131 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,840 talk about more as we move on. And it's about becoming your own 132 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,159 best friend. But that to me is what being 133 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:36,080 intentional is. It's being, being intentional in 134 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,120 who you are. And I, and I wonder, give us 135 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,640 your perspective, Ray, on the importance of getting to know 136 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,320 who you are. So for those of you that maybe 137 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,560 are listening to this for the first time, when I got to know 138 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,760 Ray on, on the social media clubhouse, he kept saying, 139 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,760 you've got to know who you are. And I and I listened. 140 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,240 It was only through going on this journey with you and what 141 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,360 happened with my wife, my wife passing away. 142 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:05,040 And I feel like I, I, I know who I am more than I've ever known. 143 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,440 And I'm just curious as to what your thoughts are around that. 144 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:16,440 It's a big space, so I'm going to be very mindful and 145 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:21,800 intentional that I try and keep it as simple, at least stated, 146 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,840 which isn't always easy for me. So I apologise in advance. 147 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,840 There are four things that I, I, I suggest that individuals 148 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,520 consider. The first is who are, you know, 149 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,600 thyself? So we have to take a journey 150 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:40,960 inward and we have to be comfortable with who we are, the 151 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,600 good, the bads, the different, simply because none of us I I 152 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,640 don't believe in the concept of perfection. 153 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:53,040 We are as Glenn, someone else we met on Clubhouse would say we're 154 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,360 imperfectly perfect and but knowing self is really 155 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,600 important. And I think what society does, 156 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:05,760 particularly today with very pervasive media network, social 157 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:10,120 media networks, expectations of each other is to your point 158 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:15,400 earlier when you someone spoke to you all those years ago is we 159 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,440 can put a front on. And I I call that front stage. 160 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:23,080 So I think we're all performers and we've got a front stage and 161 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,240 a backstage. And the front stage is our 162 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,120 interaction, our social interaction with others. 163 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,080 But our backstage is our internal dialogue, what we say 164 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,440 to ourselves. And I think if I was to say what 165 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,800 we are doing here, we're encouraging people to know that 166 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,880 there are two realms in their life and they should actually be 167 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:50,120 as close together as possible, overlapping ideally, so that 168 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,920 your backstage is consistent with what you project to others. 169 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,320 And this is really tough for people that are in professional 170 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,680 environments where they've got to get their energy out. 171 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,600 So while you've spent years on TV, years working with clients, 172 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,800 you know, we were speaking yesterday and talking about, you 173 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,600 know, literally hundreds of people coming along to a 174 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,560 retreat. Those people have paid money and 175 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:17,760 you've got to get your energy up. 176 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,760 So front stage becomes primary and then backstage just becomes 177 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,160 the urgency space. Oh, and so we spend a lot of 178 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,720 time in our backstage preparing for a performance in the front 179 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,000 stage. And what that means, if you 180 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:37,240 think about that, is we spend our lives trying to fulfill the 181 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,440 expectations of others, even when they're not around. 182 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,000 That's what we're meditating on is, are we good enough? 183 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,400 Do we fit in? And I think for me, Pete, what 184 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:50,400 we're doing here is when I say, who are you is to become 185 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,880 comfortable with yourself, as we said, become your own best 186 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,280 friend. And that means your backstage 187 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,840 has got this calm tranquility to it. 188 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,040 And it's in synergy, is in relationship with your social 189 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,840 self. And if there's a big gap between 190 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:11,680 the two, there normally is a challenge to someone's energy, 191 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,840 quality of life. Some people would say if you 192 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,000 look at the happy hormones, happy hormones are discharged 193 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,240 when there's a greater balance between your backstage and your 194 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:26,400 front stage and greater degrees of cortisol and other stress 195 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,720 release hormones come up when you're getting yourself up for a 196 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,640 performance. Now, let me qualify. 197 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,560 There's something wrong with stress as you stress. 198 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:37,560 We need it to respond fine flight, but we shouldn't be 199 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:43,200 living under that strain 24/7. And that's what I would say is 200 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,720 know thyself. And once you know that, you know 201 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,120 your value. And here's the thing, your value 202 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:52,440 is to yourself backstage and your value is to others front 203 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,000 stage. So all of a sudden now you make 204 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:02,400 investments in you and you make investments in your value in 205 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,960 exchange with others. So there's this value exchange, 206 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,360 the principle of love. You know, when people say do 207 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,520 they love someone, there's all debates. 208 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,680 What does that actually mean? But really at the core of 209 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:16,160 quality relationship is a value exchange. 210 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,400 And literally at the base level, someone looks at someone else 211 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,360 says I like you and the other one says I like you. 212 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,960 That's a there's an exchange of of value. 213 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:29,360 And once you know your value, I think where we have discussed a 214 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,480 lot the is that they're internal, Who are you? 215 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,640 What's your value? And they're backstage things. 216 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,360 I think you can spend time knowing. 217 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:42,440 And then your front stage is equipped to say, who do I serve? 218 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:43,960 Because you can't serve everyone. 219 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,720 So the people in your life, your family, your friends, your 220 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,280 community, your colleagues, how do you go about serving? 221 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:57,120 So who do you serve and how do you serve the the 3rd and 4th 222 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,240 elements? And that to me, in my experience 223 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,000 and work with people, it's really a successful mantra. 224 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,680 Who are you? What is your value? 225 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,400 Who are you serving and where, How are you serving? 226 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:14,240 And if you can start to think about those, then you you find 227 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,760 when they all come together, you very much are intentional. 228 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,360 That's just amazing what you just said there. 229 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,920 I'm so glad that we recorded this because I think that was 230 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:28,760 such a beautiful way of just unpacking a little bit about who 231 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,200 we are together and what we're doing together. 232 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:37,360 And that whole thing about front stage backstage, you have to 233 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,000 stop. I think I have to stop if I 234 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,760 really intentionally want to become aware of what's going on 235 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,520 behind the scenes. It has to be. 236 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,160 It has to come from a stop. I suppose what I love to do, and 237 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,320 I know this is what you're about, is to help people really 238 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:57,600 stop and appreciate who they are and what value they have for the 239 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,280 world. And it's so easy to feel 240 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,800 devalued. It's so easy through growing up 241 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,520 and, and what you look at to feel that there's something not 242 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,920 quite right with you. And we're asking people just to 243 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:13,440 stop and appreciate who you are. So you, you fundamentally 244 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:17,120 believe I, from what I understand, that everyone has 245 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:22,480 their own unique value. They have their own, what some 246 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,880 people would call their, their onlyness that there's only that 247 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,360 that person can do. Can you do you believe that? 248 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,600 Because I, I do. I I do believe that everyone has 249 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,880 Got Talent, unique talents or, or yeah, I'm just curious as to 250 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,000 what your thoughts are and, and your feedback on what I just 251 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,200 said there because this is profound stuff. 252 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,160 Well, yeah, let's start from the baseline that everyone is 253 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:48,120 valuable. What we're talking about is 254 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,440 people going in search of that value, and the search is not 255 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,400 outside in themselves, it's inward. 256 00:15:55,440 --> 00:16:00,760 But most people are torts, and society reinforces that. 257 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,760 Your value is outside of yourself from the 258 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,920 acknowledgement of a parent or a guardian or someone in your 259 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,480 life. Youngsters, you see, you watch 260 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,240 them in their gestures. They're craving value. 261 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,960 They're craving to be acknowledged. 262 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:19,280 They go to school and the school teachers, and it's so important 263 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,680 for us to recognize that. I think there was a school 264 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:26,960 teacher called Jane Elliott who controversially did an 265 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,960 experiment as a school teacher the day after Martin Luther King 266 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,840 had been tragically assassinated. 267 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,640 And she was living in a a rural part of America. 268 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,720 And she took her classroom, which was for white children. 269 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:45,360 And she being quite challenged by the assassination because 270 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,880 there were a lot of people who saw it as a season of hope and 271 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:54,080 change, wanted to know what it was like for people to be 272 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,560 treated differently just in words. 273 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,400 So she did an experiment. And as I've just said earlier, 274 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,840 probably not probably she would be struck off now, but she 275 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:07,720 started to treat the kids with blue and green eyes differently 276 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,800 from the kids with brown eyes. And either the former group was 277 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:16,480 given praise or they were challenged because of those 278 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,359 distinguishing physical features. 279 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,359 And what she discovered has changed the course of her life. 280 00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:26,160 That actually is really powerful for anyone. 281 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:30,040 And some people say this, this may want to choose to embrace it 282 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:32,880 or not. But going back to your question, 283 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,640 everyone's valuable. What happens when someone 284 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:41,280 intentionally tries to take your value away? 285 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:45,240 She discovered that kids start to perform less well in school, 286 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,240 their confidence levels go down, their perception of self goes 287 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:55,120 down and it brings quite a degree of psychological and 288 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:59,640 emotional challenge which then leads into impacting a child's 289 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,720 behaviour. That's really profound, Pete, 290 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,080 that actually all of us here should take stock that what we 291 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:10,800 receive from others has a big impact on us, which is why go 292 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,600 back to my original point before. 293 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,440 If our sole purpose is to be liked and accepted by others and 294 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:21,920 we spend our backstage time investing in preparing to be 295 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,440 accepted by others. There's a challenge. 296 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,680 I and and and and it's a really fine nuanced line. 297 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,520 I believe the backstage is you're preparing to share value 298 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,440 with others that the value that you know that you uniquely have. 299 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:42,320 As Martin Umar says, your only miss and your only miss means 300 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,120 that there isn't anyone else in the world that was born exactly 301 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,720 the same time as you and looks like you. 302 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:54,000 Let's just perceive we are all unique and if we're all uniquely 303 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,120 valuable, we should get excited. Let's start the journey inward. 304 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:02,840 Let's all go on our own treasure hunt to find who we are. 305 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,520 And I want to, because here's the thing, a bit like we've 306 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:11,320 discussed before, I do think that we get caught up by default 307 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,400 in a world that tells us we're not good enough. 308 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,360 And therefore we have to get acknowledgement for the world to 309 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:21,120 say we're important. And I always arrive at this in 310 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:25,040 these podcasts, whether we have one person listening to this who 311 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,960 feels that this is providing some insight. 312 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,920 I'm delighted. I'm, I'm not sitting here 313 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,520 talking to you because I desire a million people to listen to 314 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:40,160 us, even though if that's the journey that we end up on, we 315 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,680 can look back on this podcast of 491 and smile because we're 316 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:48,840 trying to serve those who know there's something more than 317 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,680 they've currently got. You know, I've, I've obviously 318 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,720 observed you and listened to you for many hours, which has just 319 00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:01,040 been just a real privilege just to, to learn from you and to 320 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:05,360 just to stop to stop. And when you were talking about 321 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:09,800 backstage, what's going on? I gave a talk at school the 322 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,360 other day, which was, which was lovely. 323 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:14,840 It was a beautiful, all the teachers and the support staff 324 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,000 and some young people that are coming in who've left school to 325 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,360 help out. And I was speaking really from 326 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,920 the heart, just in terms of my experience of being at school 327 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,320 and wanting recognition, wanting to be accepted, feeling that I 328 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,160 was not good enough. Like because I was kind of 329 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,760 almost taken out and shown that I wasn't good enough by being 330 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:40,800 diagnosed as dyslexic and just always having so much energy 331 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,200 that I was told, you know, sit down, be still, do as you're 332 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,000 told. Like so many of us have been 333 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,040 brought up in a world like that where we're looking for 334 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,600 validation outside of ourselves. And I, I was constantly looking 335 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,880 for it. I probably didn't realise at the 336 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,760 time, but I look back and, and realized through all the things 337 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,040 I did, being on television and all those things working people, 338 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,480 it was always, I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have because 339 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,800 I was looking for something outside of myself rather than 340 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:09,120 appreciating actually who I am and what I'm doing and, and 341 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,520 seeing that value. And I, I do appreciate that when 342 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,760 we have these conversations, how insightful it might be for other 343 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,800 people. But I wondered what you thought, 344 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,920 Ray, because what I see in people is the fear of going 345 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:26,160 inside the fear of, and, and this is my interpretation of 346 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,480 what I see with a lot of people. There is this fear of, of 347 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,920 stopping because it's not normal. 348 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,640 It's not something which most people do to, to kind of stop 349 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:38,680 and switch off and detach and just be, be with yourself, but 350 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,720 then concerned about what they're going to find. 351 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,160 And I, I remember thinking like that. 352 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,760 I used to get headaches when I used to go and do this kind of 353 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,360 personal development work of what I might find out about 354 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,320 myself. But I realised that that was 355 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,480 almost stuff that I just picked up along the way. 356 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,400 It wasn't the real essence of who I really am. 357 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,360 Everything else was just stuff I picked up. 358 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,640 But through growing up trauma and all experienced, but 359 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,920 realizing if you do that work and you can go beneath some of 360 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:12,560 that stuff, you can really tap into the essence of who I am and 361 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,840 who you are and who we all are. And I just wondered what, what 362 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,680 your, what your take on that is that, you know, I'm almost like 363 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,520 saying to people that don't, don't you don't need to be 364 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,880 frightened of going inside this. You've survived. 365 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,240 You've got to this point in your life. 366 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,760 Well done. Maybe there's some stuff that 367 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,440 maybe you need to address and and think about and deal with. 368 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:35,800 But beneath all of that, there is something truly magical about 369 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,920 you. What's your thoughts on that, 370 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,880 Ray? The thing that really resonated 371 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:46,160 with me, and I think this is really kind of key, is that we 372 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:50,320 accumulate social experiences. So if you think in our front 373 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,600 stage, we accumulate social experiences. 374 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,560 And this is what I'm saying, if we leave our backstage dormant 375 00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,680 and non intentional, then the front stage informs our 376 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,320 backstage. And that's what Jane Elliott 377 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,640 found out with these kids. These kids had never had trauma 378 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,640 before and suddenly she created trauma by saying you're worthy 379 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,760 and valuable because you've got blue eyes. 380 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,920 Oh no, no, you're valuable because you've got brown eyes or 381 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,680 no, you're not valuable at all. And basically, we are to a large 382 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,800 extent impacted by our social front stage. 383 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:28,400 And I'm saying that in of itself is the weakness because you 384 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,240 might be listening to this and you might. 385 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,000 It doesn't matter what your occupation is. 386 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,040 It doesn't matter what your health status is right at this 387 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,720 moment. It doesn't matter whether you've 388 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,280 had trauma as you're going through the trauma of loss, 389 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,120 ultimately you need to spend time in the backstage. 390 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,840 But the way I would explain it is that the front stage has been 391 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,120 performing it away so much. Society has been structured and 392 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:55,880 shaped so much that it impacts everyone's backstage. 393 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,400 And it even impacts doesn't matter what your gender, it's it 394 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,920 impacts how we see each other, who gets paid to get jobs, who 395 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,120 gets promoted. It is changing, and that's great 396 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:11,120 news, but it's an example of how life can just roll over us. 397 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,520 And I think what we're trying to do here is say well enough 398 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,880 already, what about slowing down and spending a bit time looking 399 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,720 at your uniqueness, looking at who you are, wherever you are? 400 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,280 And you and I have spoken before about Viktor Frankel, but you 401 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,640 know, I, I can't. There's very few people I think 402 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:34,120 of that sit in that pool, being exposed to the absolute 403 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,160 unthinkable trauma as being horrible. 404 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:44,560 Situations, yeah. Just and and then discerning and 405 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,760 writing a thesis and becoming a recognised psychologist in this 406 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,480 space and saying, well actually life is dependent upon meaning. 407 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,880 So what he was really saying is it doesn't matter how horrendous 408 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,600 your life is. And there are lots of examples 409 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:05,880 of horrendous acts. You have the responsibility to 410 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:11,960 add meaning to who you are. And when I look at, I mentioned 411 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,120 Martin Luther King being assassinated, but, you know, 412 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,960 anyone can critique anyone. But at the core of his backstage 413 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,840 was I want to try and make a difference. 414 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,960 And his value was the creed of his faith of nonviolence. 415 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,040 But change from nonviolence, what a paradox says. 416 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,640 What do you mean nonviolence? We're not going to get angry. 417 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:38,640 We're going to just sit in an ice cream parlour where when 418 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,800 we've been told we're not supposed to sit front stage, but 419 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,360 actually we know that our backstage, we have value and we 420 00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:47,880 should be there. And it changed that society 421 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,760 forever. And that's why I'm saying that. 422 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,920 And, and let me qualify. I'm not calling for a revolution 423 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:58,640 here beyond the one that you have in yourself, but I prefer 424 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:03,320 the term evolution that you are looking to evolve from. 425 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:07,040 Being defined by your front stage and saying, well, I have 426 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,600 to love and respect the front stage because that's where I 427 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,240 interact with others. But I can only do that 428 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:19,320 meaningfully by having a balance between who I am and how I go 429 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,280 about serving and showing up in life. 430 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,680 Because I would like everyone to stop for a moment, maybe listen 431 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,040 back to what Rage has just said and just asked, would you like 432 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,480 to be a part of that evolution? Dre and I are figuring stuff 433 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:32,640 out. And we could have these 434 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,800 conversations without recording a podcast that I'm I'm happy 435 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:40,320 because I know that this this will be out in the world. 436 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,160 And when I'm not here, people might listen to this and the 437 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,160 evolution of myself. Yeah. 438 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,840 I what I love about you, Ray, is that when you talk about 439 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:55,040 meaning, as Viktor Frankel, you know the meaning of life and I, 440 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,040 my perception and the meaning of life, or it's the meaning you 441 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,800 give it and what meaning are you giving your life? 442 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,400 And when you talk to what I loved what you said at the 443 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,320 beginning, when you talked about whole and whole. 444 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,080 And there are many different holes we can fall into in life 445 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,880 through many challenges that we face because living in the 446 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,480 modern world, it's not straightforward. 447 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,680 There are many challenges that people have. 448 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,600 I mean, there's just so many to list, isn't it? 449 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,400 In terms of bringing up a family, having a job, paying the 450 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,560 bills, being healthy. I mean, it's hard. 451 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,240 It's a lot easier when you've got people around you who 452 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,880 support you, which is what Martin Luther King said as well, 453 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,480 that the most important question we should be asking each other 454 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,440 is what can we do for each other? 455 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,880 And I'm, I'm, if you, if you're one of those people that you 456 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,120 just listen to what Ray just said, maybe go back and listen 457 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,640 again. And if honestly, if you're just 458 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,480 one of those people, you think, yeah, that that's me, He's 459 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,840 talking to me. I'm one of those people. 460 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,520 And I want, I want to find more meaning in who I am and I want 461 00:27:54,520 --> 00:28:00,720 to enjoy the backstage of me. Then just let us know because we 462 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,320 definitely want to support people in that way. 463 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,040 What are your thoughts on that? Right. 464 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,920 Well, as you were speaking, Pete, and just to qualify for, 465 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,280 we've just done 2. We've just spent 2% of our day 466 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,240 with each other here on this podcast. 467 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,800 And in crude terms, Pete and I've been talking and I shared a 468 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:26,160 concept with Pete some months back now and we've been working 469 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,920 out how do we integrate it in here? 470 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,600 And I've sat on a lot of concepts and Peter said, well, 471 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,400 right, why haven't you shared these before? 472 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:38,280 And there just wasn't the time. There was a lot of busyness, a 473 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,480 beautiful wife for kids moving to a new country. 474 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,240 There's, there's plenty there, but there are many people that 475 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:48,160 may one day be listening or may listen to this that I've had 476 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,600 interactions with. And it feels right to, to share 477 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,480 those now. So intentionally, 14 minutes and 478 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:59,200 24 seconds is 1% of your day, but let's not even complicate 479 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,920 it. Let's just say 15 minutes 480 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,960 ballpark is 1% of your day. We've just spent half an hour, 481 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,880 31 minutes and 40 seconds, 2% a day. 482 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:13,240 And I'd love to get feedback, but we want people to be really 483 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,560 responsible and responsibility is your ability to respond. 484 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,000 That's it. We want you to develop your 485 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,600 ability to respond instead of feeling the life just hits you 486 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,760 and takes over. So why don't we and the podcast 487 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,880 here today with you having spent 2% of your day or just a little 488 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,640 bit over with us as we refine what we're doing together. 489 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,000 I think you know, what I, what I loved about today was just about 490 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,920 that whole, you know, the whole that you have. 491 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,120 And maybe part of that whole is what's going on in the backstage 492 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,280 and starting to appreciate your value. 493 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,320 So why not take some time out? Why not stop and think, what is 494 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,680 the value that I bring to the world? 495 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,760 Because we would love to know as we we evolve, all of us 496 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:59,120 together, as we explore the many possibilities that we all have 497 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,040 to impact the world that we're in. 498 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:06,040 Well, I, I thank, thank you for your time again today. 499 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:10,640 It works both ways, Pete. You know, I, I've learnt in my 500 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:16,040 life that my balance comes from, you know, having meaningful 501 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,760 conversations and engagements, but they centre around us trying 502 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,720 to turn up each day a little bit better than we were yesterday. 503 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,840 And, and sometimes that's not always easy, but we also learn 504 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,720 how to figure out, forgive ourselves and forgive others so 505 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,440 that we are always trying to look up. 506 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,200 Otherwise we can spend so much of our time in downward spirals. 507 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,160 And anyone listen, if you can relate to that, then you know 508 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,800 this is what we're about is to equip you. 509 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:47,840 And there are some change makers out there. 510 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,880 Pete, I, I did want to close on this because I think it'd be 511 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,080 important. I'd love you to share a little 512 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,840 bit about a very close friend of yours and someone I've got to 513 00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,520 know through you who did an incredible feat in Wales 514 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:05,120 recently and I just wanted to to give her some some props. 515 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,560 Yeah. So I've just mentioned that, but 516 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,560 also just want to say we'd love to hear from you. 517 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,680 And one of the best ways for you to connect with us is on 518 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,560 LinkedIn. We will be doing some LinkedIn 519 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,640 Live audios, which will allow you to come and interact with us 520 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,120 because we want to learn from you. 521 00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,040 But yeah, I mean, look, we're all in this story making 522 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,960 business, right? That's what we are. 523 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:32,520 And Ray is referring to a lady called Mandy Jane Lace, who is 524 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,800 just a phenomenal lady, spent the majority of her life in a 525 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,720 wheelchair. And she was pronounced dead 526 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,960 twice with COVID. But there's something about this 527 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,160 person. She just, you know, death just 528 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,360 could not, couldn't take her out. 529 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,920 It wasn't her time. And she was in hospital and I 530 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,760 was talking to her and she could barely breathe. 531 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:57,640 And I thought she was going, I've got to get cardiovascularly 532 00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,240 fit. And I was thinking, I don't 533 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:00,960 think you're going to make the end of the day. 534 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,000 I really was thinking that. And boy, does she completely 535 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:08,800 define the odds, defy the odds. Because the other day she 536 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,520 completed a marathon in a hand cycle going round and is a 537 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,960 bicycle that you use your your your arms to to raise awareness 538 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,680 of inclusion. Her. 539 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,240 The whole thing is about inclusion. 540 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,160 And that's where you and I, Ray, were all about. 541 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:23,720 Everyone has got a place at the table. 542 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,240 In fact, if there's there's a place at the table, it's like, 543 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,280 well, who's not here? Everyone, everyone has a space. 544 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:33,600 And that's what she's dedicated her life to in in ways that just 545 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:38,200 to just so many ways. And it was just great to be 546 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,680 there with her. We, we did a video, we filmed 547 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,880 her and she's very intentional. And we want to shine a light on 548 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,720 people that are doing great things. 549 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,840 So thank you for bringing that to our attention, Ray, and 550 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:54,760 sharing that with our followers. So I appreciate you, my friend. 551 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,200 I wish you a wonderful, wonderful day. 552 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:02,080 You've still got a few hours ahead of me, but thank you so 553 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:06,000 much once again. Before you rush off into the 554 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,320 rest of your day, why not take a moment to stop and think about 555 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,120 those four questions Ray shared with us today. 556 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,120 Who are you? What is your value? 557 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,160 Who do you serve, and how do you serve now? 558 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,800 Those questions have taken me a few years to really get my head 559 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:27,200 around, and it's only really now that I have a profound sense of 560 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,960 who I am. So please, take your time. 561 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,680 Don't worry if you don't have the answers straight away. 562 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,120 These aren't questions to be rushed, they're questions to 563 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,000 live with. Perhaps the real invitation is 564 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,360 simply to begin the journey inward. 565 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,600 To become a little bit more aware of your backstage, not 566 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,120 just your front stage. To appreciate who you are, not 567 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,080 just what you do. And to remember that your value 568 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:57,080 isn't something you have to earn, it's something you can 569 00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,080 discover. I really want to thank you for 570 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,920 spending part of your day with us. 571 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,280 And until next time, keep stopping, keep thinking, and 572 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:09,120 keep becoming more of who you truly are. 573 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:10,760 We'll see you next time.