1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,320 Hi, I'm Jean. And I'm Cherie and we're the 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,960 Tiger sisters. Hey guys, welcome back. 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:11,480 This is Part 2 of our video where we talk about the first 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:15,080 Gen. experience. In our previous episode, Jean 5 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,840 and I really drove into our background kind of how we grew 6 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,440 up and how that's impacted how we see the world. 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,960 And if you're a first generation American or if you're the child 8 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,160 of immigrants, hopefully you'll be able to resonate with this 9 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,240 episode. Our childhood traumas, yes. 10 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,560 Definitely, and some of the things that we talk about and 11 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,720 even if you're not, I think this will give you a glimpse or like 12 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,560 a lens into some of the, you know, intersectional or, you 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,880 know, bicultural straddling, which we talked about last 14 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,480 episode that some of us first Gen. experiences. 15 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,760 Yeah, you probably know a lot of first Gen. people. 16 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,880 Cool. Let's dive in. 17 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,080 Before we get started, Please remember to like, comment and 18 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,680 subscribe. And if you like this episode, we 19 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,920 would so appreciate it if you could share it with a friend so. 20 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,920 We're going to start with bringing back a segment that a 21 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,240 lot of people loved. It's book club book. 22 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,320 Club. Here we have two new books to 23 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:27,040 talk about and to recommend. So, Cherie, why don't you kick 24 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,640 us off on what is a book that you've been reading and loving? 25 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,840 Yes. So technically I haven't been 26 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,120 reading this book. I've been listening to it on 27 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,200 audiobook, on Spotify. I love doing it whenever I'm in 28 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,800 the car. I can turn it on, I can drive 29 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,400 somewhere and make progress on this. 30 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,880 Book minus points. No plus aura points because 31 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:49,440 we're reading technically and we're multitasking, so the book. 32 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,520 So when you listen to this podcast, you're reading. 33 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:57,400 Yeah, So the book that I'm reading right now is Kitchen 34 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,960 Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, the late Anthony 35 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,720 Bourdain. It's an iconic book. 36 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,480 It's been out for I think almost 20 years now. 37 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,960 But really, it feels like you're in the moment with him. 38 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,760 So for those of you who don't know, Anthony Bourdain is of 39 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:16,320 like a world renowned chef. He passed away in 2016, I 40 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,760 believe. But he talks about his life and 41 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:25,160 his career, especially as he started up as like a chef in New 42 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,880 York City and honestly all around the United States. 43 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,360 And it just follows his adventure in the 90s and 44 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,000 basically, what is it like to be a chef in the 90s? 45 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,000 What does it mean? And he, like, you know, warning, 46 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:42,360 this book has a lot of cursing. It's quite vulgar and exciting 47 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,720 in that way. What did you say? 48 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:48,080 I said oh. And it's quite vulgar and 49 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:52,000 definitely very colorful. So there's your warning there. 50 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,160 But I think it's also just like a really beautiful piece that 51 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:58,160 talks about food, the culinary world, and also like how food 52 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:02,280 can bring people together and really shape things outside of 53 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,680 the industry as well. Yeah. 54 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:04,920 Can I chime in? Yeah, sure. 55 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,160 OK. So I have also been like reading 56 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,560 parts of this book because Cherie was playing it. 57 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,560 In the car. In the car while we were doing 58 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,760 like a road trip. And I almost think this is like 59 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,520 one of those books that is better. 60 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,840 Listened to because. Actually, yes, he reads it. 61 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,040 He has such a, he has such a beautiful, distinctive voice. 62 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,360 I love his voice and the way that he reads it is at an 63 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,000 incredible pace. Like you feel like when you're 64 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,800 listening to it, you're like, you feel like you're jogging, 65 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,840 like you feel your body feels like you're like rushing along 66 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,480 with him. You feel the adrenaline like you 67 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,920 feel. Because the book is very 68 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,280 fast-paced in and of itself and then he's reading it the way 69 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,240 that he was writing it. Or it was meant intended to be 70 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,560 like. Listen to. 71 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,480 It's almost like stream of consciousness. 72 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,000 I feel like the way that he writes. 73 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,000 It is, it is very beautiful writing and it's a memoir. 74 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,920 And I love biographies. I love memoirs. 75 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,640 And you just hear about his life and, you know, the trials and 76 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,160 tribulations and what happened and kitchens. 77 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,800 Yeah. And if you're even like a little 78 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,280 bit of a foodie, I think you will love this book. 79 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,960 Yeah, and also just like his voice is so strong. 80 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,000 I don't mean his like listened voice, I mean his writing voice, 81 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,720 yeah, is so distinctive. And also he's an excellent 82 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,240 writer. Like very, I don't know if he's 83 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,160 like classically excellent, but like the way that he writes and 84 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,040 the way that you experience the book is so visceral. 85 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,800 Like you like, feel like you're in the kitchen, like you feel 86 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,560 like the steam is like rising up and like hitting you in the face 87 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:34,760 and like you feel like that you smell that, like it's, it's good 88 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,440 actually. Also the book is like super 89 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:40,080 descriptive too so like it feels like you're in the kitchen with. 90 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,960 Him OK, and also he has an incredible vocabulary. 91 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:48,200 He yes, like I feel like this book somehow has like it has 92 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:53,240 like 4 * 4 X the the like vocabulary of like a typical 93 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,120 book like we would read from day-to-day. 94 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,480 Yeah, it's it's artfully, it's masterfully done. 95 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,240 Yeah, great recommendation. Yeah, thanks for letting me 96 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,880 chime in Totally. Because you read the book as 97 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,960 well. It's also funny because Jean 98 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,800 would be like in my car and she would come in at like different 99 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,760 points in the book. I think like come in and out. 100 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,880 And like, it's almost as if like you didn't really miss a beat or 101 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,280 you didn't mind that. Like you kind of jumped in and 102 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,640 out of this book because like, you don't really need to know or 103 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,360 hear about it like sequentially in that way. 104 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,760 You don't because it's just like he just keeps like telling his 105 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,480 life story. It just like keeps going. 106 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,600 It's like going and going. Yeah, so Kitchen Confidential 107 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,120 would recommend. All right, Jean, what is your 108 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,600 book recommendation for book club? 109 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:41,200 OK, my book recommendation is Big Fan by Alexandra Romanoff. 110 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,840 It's so good. OK, so this is actually a book. 111 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:49,760 It's the inaugural publication of of this company called 831 112 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,680 Stories. So I don't know, some of you 113 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:57,240 might know that I am a investor and I'm also an advisor to 114 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,520 startups. So 831 stories is a modern 115 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:04,160 romantic fiction startup started by these two women who are. 116 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,160 They're like, they're brilliant. They actually, they have their 117 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,440 own podcasts too. They've had a very long running 118 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,760 podcast. They're brilliant. 119 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:14,480 They're so smart and it is really reflected in this book. 120 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,400 So it's a romance. It's a romance novel. 121 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:23,640 It's it's pretty smutty, but I'll just read the tagline. 122 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,040 It goes a political strategist to her former boy band crush and 123 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,240 what happens when teenage yearnings take a very adult and 124 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,920 very sexy turn. It's just like a really, it's 125 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,760 like a fun book to read. It has a great back story 126 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,920 because it's about this political strategist. 127 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,880 So you have a lot of that like DC, Washington, like intrigue 128 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,880 that it's always fun to like, learn about, like. 129 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,760 Scandal. Sort of exactly. 130 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,360 It's like scandal. So it's like fun to like learn 131 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,640 about a world you're not in. And I feel like it's actually 132 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,360 very well researched, very accurate. 133 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:59,840 And it's also it's a little bit of like it's a little bit of 134 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,680 like kind of like, you know, fantasy, like it takes you 135 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,000 outside of your own world, but it's not so far fetched. 136 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:12,040 And also the main character is a little bit older, so she's like 137 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:17,920 in her like late 30s, I think. So for me, for me, I was like, 138 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,800 oh, like this could happen to me if I were a political 139 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,200 strategist. But then also it's just it's 140 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,000 really smart the way it's written like. 141 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,440 A smart smutty. Book. 142 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,520 Yes, there you go. Smart smutty book. 143 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,160 I've actually never read smut before. 144 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,040 Are you sure? Yeah, well, outside of Gossip 145 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,480 Girl in like middle school. Yeah, well, it's like totally 146 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,320 having a renaissance. It really. 147 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,800 Is like romantic. See, and you know that is. 148 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,120 Romance. Fantasy. 149 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,120 Yes, exactly. Actually, my friend Nicole was 150 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,120 telling me about this book that a lot of girls are the girls and 151 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,320 guys are Reading is about like fairies. 152 00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:01,040 Yes, But yeah, that was like my book club, like ripped through 153 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,160 all those books, really. That was like the book that my 154 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,400 book club was like the series that my book club was most 155 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,840 excited to talk about. Really. 156 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,720 Everyone showed up. It was like people were like 157 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,440 getting riled up. OK, well, I need to read it, I 158 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,280 feel like, to be part of the zeitgeist. 159 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,000 Yes, because I never read one of those books. 160 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,680 I think it'd be fun to do it in, like, also. 161 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,520 Yeah. You know, a setting where people 162 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:22,680 want to talk about it, too. Yeah. 163 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,920 And so, yeah, I would really recommend this book. 164 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,440 It's just like fun. It's short. 165 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:32,280 It's it's like sexy and smart. I kind of like sexy and smart. 166 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,400 That's like a really, Yeah. Good tagline. 167 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,919 Yeah, and it's like the way that she, like, speaks and the way 168 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,120 that the character is written. You're like, oh, I see. 169 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:46,080 Like that could be me like it, or she could be one of my 170 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,480 friends, right? Cool, I'm gonna borrow that 171 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,000 after you're done. I'm done. 172 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,560 OK, I will borrow it now. Hey guys, quick break to let you 173 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,200 know that we now have merch on Sisters matcha.com. 174 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,080 We have sweatshirts and T-shirts that we designed ourselves. 175 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,360 Go check it out and please rate US five stars on Spotify and 176 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,080 Apple Podcasts. These ratings are so important 177 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,720 for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters 178 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,600 podcast. Thank you for your support. 179 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,840 All right, hope you guys like this edition of Book club. 180 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:18,120 Now moving on to the main topic, which is the First Gen. 181 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,280 Experience Part 2. The first Gen. experience, it's 182 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,000 a pretty heavy topic. We really got into it last time, 183 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,520 and there is, like, so much more to say here. 184 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,040 And so we want to dedicate a whole nother episode of the 185 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,960 Tiger Sisters to really dig in here. 186 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,040 And specifically, we're going to start off talking about are you 187 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,200 friends with your parents? Should you be friends with your 188 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,920 parents? And like, where does that line 189 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,280 cross? Does it ever cross? 190 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:47,440 And, you know, as a first Gen. like, child of immigrants, like, 191 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,160 what is the mindset on this? So, Jean, I know you have some 192 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,800 thoughts on this. Yeah. 193 00:09:53,240 --> 00:10:00,280 I would say until I like started going to my friends houses in 194 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:04,320 like elementary, like middle school, I didn't know you could 195 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,120 be friends with your parents. Yeah. 196 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,760 And like, it's actually, oh, my God, there's so much. 197 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,160 I have like 50 million thoughts about it. 198 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,000 Like, you know how the people, there's this credence of like, 199 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,800 the most important thing for a child growing up is not their 200 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,000 immediate family necessarily, but the neighborhood that they 201 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,640 live in and then all the other families that they're exposed to 202 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:23,880 through their friends. Yeah. 203 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,960 That's like, actually a really good example of it. 204 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,680 Yeah. Because there's so many things 205 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:31,440 that I learned from my friend group, my girlfriends and my 206 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,080 friend group and like, observing them and their families. 207 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,720 Yeah. That I was like, oh, wow. 208 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,120 Like you're like there is a different way to live. 209 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,200 Especially if it's culturally different from your family. 210 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,320 Exactly. Yeah. 211 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,840 And like, there's a different way to, like, interact with your 212 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,080 friends. I mean, there's a different way 213 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,480 to interact with your parents. How the other half lives. 214 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,600 Kind of and I like saw them like making jokes with their parents 215 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,000 and like making fun of their parents and. 216 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,240 Calling their parents by their first name. 217 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,400 Yeah, or just being like literally even saying like shut 218 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,240 up mom or something like that, like we would. 219 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,680 Yeah. No, no, you can't say. 220 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:09,880 That you can't. Say that that's. 221 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,840 Yeah. I mean, that's definitely 222 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,560 cultural. I think yeah, there's like a 223 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:18,200 very clear difference of being like a child from the ages of 224 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,960 like, I don't know, born until like 18 and having a 225 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,240 relationship with your parent. And then when you're an adult 226 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,120 and you actually leave the house, how does your 227 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,680 relationship evolve then if it does? 228 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:31,520 Because like in I think many parents eyes, I'm not a parent 229 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,240 and you're not a parent yet. But like we hear that like 230 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,360 you'll always be there like kid and like seem like a kid to 231 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,040 them. But I think it's really 232 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,360 interesting when like 18 plus you move out of the house and 233 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,960 you start to gain knowledge and experiences that your parents, 234 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,400 especially immigrant parents haven't had, like haven't had 235 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,120 exposure to even. And then you become like the 236 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,720 knowledge bearer in so many ways of like knowing things that they 237 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,480 don't know in like professional personal life, romance, like all 238 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,080 those things they haven't experienced. 239 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:03,400 And that becomes a very weird like turning point as well when 240 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,440 you're like, you see your parent in a different way. 241 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:09,880 I would say for a lot of immigrant children or children 242 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,920 of immigrants, yeah, that happens way earlier than 18. 243 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,400 Do you think so? Oh, I mean, for me, that's my 244 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,080 experience way earlier than before I moved out because like, 245 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,520 for us, our parents are moving to the country for the first 246 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:22,520 time. They're having a whole new 247 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,920 experience. They have to relearn an entirely 248 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,080 new way of life. Versus for the child. 249 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,800 Yeah. It's like you get to have many 250 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,240 more years of like, back story of experiencing it and having 251 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,720 the new culture be the new culture, but the American 252 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,200 culture be second nature to you. Yeah. 253 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,360 It's your first culture. Yeah. 254 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,680 Right. So like there's just so many 255 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:48,680 like norms and like cultural, there's just so many cultural 256 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,720 norms that as the first Gen. child, you're used. 257 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,920 To yeah, there's this really funny TikTok that I saw a while 258 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,920 ago, but it's like it just came into my head. 259 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,640 It's like when you're a child and like you're literally like, 260 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:08,120 I don't know, like 15 trying to fill out the FAFSA, like the 261 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,560 financial aid form for college and, you know, you're 5th. 262 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,160 Like, I don't know, it was like, you're 15 to like, you know, 17 263 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,160 years old, like trying to fill it out or something when the 264 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,240 parent is like, supposed to fill out all that information. 265 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,200 But like, when you have more context and like, you understand 266 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,520 more stuff, like, it forces you, I think in a lot of ways to grow 267 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,920 up faster, to have more of that responsibility. 268 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,160 But like, yeah, it was a context. 269 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,360 Like not even in an Asian context. 270 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,240 It was like a different, like, culture completely. 271 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,400 But I think a lot of people can like, relate to that. 272 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:39,000 I think another like really small way that people across all 273 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,680 different cultures who are children of immigrants have 274 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:46,840 experienced this is that like many times your parents have an 275 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,600 accent. And so like when you're talking 276 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,920 on the phone, the way that they're perceived or the level 277 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,360 of customer service that they received is markedly lower than 278 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,000 someone who doesn't have an accent. 279 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,680 It's horrible. Like I know like you and I grew 280 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,760 up a lot. Like we often times we're the 281 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,400 ones that had to like call in to do like customer service thing. 282 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:08,880 Like call AT&T because like we don't have, we, we have a very 283 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,880 American accent and so like completely wrong, but like we 284 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,000 are taking more seriously in our opinion. 285 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,160 I could have a British accent. That's when it's really 286 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,520 important, really important. There's something that's really 287 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,000 important. Urgent. 288 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:24,920 It's critical. It's. 289 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,520 Critical. It's mission critical. 290 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:32,360 I mean, but also tying it back, like can you be friends with 291 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,800 your parent and would you want to be friends with your kid? 292 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,880 Because I recently interviewed ACEO of like a multi billion 293 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,840 dollar company. And I was kind of surprised to 294 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,280 also just like we talked about like family life, career, 295 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,280 children. And he was also pretty adamant 296 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:51,320 that like parent and child is a a special relationship, but like 297 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,920 they're not friends. And I was kind of surprised to 298 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,480 hear that. I feel like people who are like 299 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,240 younger than our parents would have a different view. 300 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,040 But I do think it might be kind of cultural. 301 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,720 I don't know. I think it depends on the child. 302 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,160 Honestly. It's going to depend on the 303 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,760 personality of the child. You. 304 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,760 Think so. Not totally, not the personality 305 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,720 of the parent. No, no, the I think the parent 306 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,640 will need to adjust their approach depending on the child 307 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,920 because like even for like. Obviously, I'm not a parent, but 308 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:24,040 I feel like I have been a parental figure for you at many 309 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:29,320 points in our life and like you have always been like extremely 310 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,640 receptive to my feedback and to my direction and my guidance, 311 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,200 even when like it's something that you didn't want to do, like 312 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,840 for example. I swear to God if you say study 313 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,400 computer science as the example. That, OK, that's an example, but 314 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:49,080 I just, I mean like if you were not generally receptive to my 315 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,680 feedbacks then like I don't know, I would have to like 316 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,160 tailor my approach like then we would have had a different sort 317 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,560 of relationship. Yeah. 318 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,440 I, I will say, I do think there are some downsides to being 319 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,720 friends with your parents because I think that in some 320 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:07,080 ways there is less of that parent child relationship that 321 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,360 you talked about. And so a lot of times as the 322 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:14,720 child, like you don't feel like you have to take into account 323 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,920 what your parents says, like you have a lot more autonomy, which 324 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,360 can be good, but then also can be bad depending on your age. 325 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,080 And then I think also depending on the level of judgement of the 326 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:30,440 child, right? So I do think that, like, there 327 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:34,200 are people I know who were much friendlier with their parents 328 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,840 and then they ended up making, I think, I don't know, we're like 329 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:43,360 suboptimal choices for themselves because they were 330 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,200 allowed to just do whatever they wanted to do. 331 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,000 And they were children, you know. 332 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:52,440 Well, I do think there's a way like I, yeah, I think that's 333 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,280 like a very, like we're talking about the extremes, you know, in 334 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,520 like both examples, like I wonder what are like a more 335 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:03,120 moderate relationship might look like where like you are that you 336 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,319 are the, you straddle, like you are the parent in the times that 337 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,680 it really matters and you are the friend also in times that it 338 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,280 really matters. Because I do think there is a 339 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:14,440 time and place for both. Like when you're the parent and 340 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,680 you're like, yeah, I think I do know better because I've lived 341 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,680 on this earth for like 20-30 more years than you. 342 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,760 And so I can kind of see things clearly. 343 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,400 But then as a friend, like sometimes you need a friend and 344 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,359 not a parent and sometimes you need a parent and not a friend. 345 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,200 Yeah. So I don't, since I'm not a 346 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,520 parent yet, I don't know quite where that is. 347 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,320 But I think as a child I I would appreciate both. 348 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,960 But I think. It's having that, well, it's 349 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,760 like having that level of like, you can have some dialogue, 350 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,360 yeah, about it. And not being afraid as a child 351 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,160 to like still voice your opinion, ask questions, like 352 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,760 have a conversation about it as opposed to feeling like 353 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,520 everything your parent says is like an edict. 354 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,280 Yeah, you know, totally. Or like, I think, I mean, 355 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:02,120 honestly, you kind of straddle both for me in in a lot of ways. 356 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:06,240 Like you are parent like less parent like, but like, but you 357 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,840 do kind of like go on that border. 358 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,640 But I'm like, I can tell you anything and everything and I 359 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,600 feel so comfortable doing so. And like that's the friend. 360 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,320 But I also know that you come in with the parent lens because 361 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,800 like you want the best for me, not that a friend wouldn't, but 362 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:23,520 like you also come in with that like very strong judgement as 363 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,280 well, in a good way. You know what I mean? 364 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,680 I am very judgement. That's not what I meant. 365 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,080 Yeah, you mean I have like good judgement because I have a 366 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,760 little more life experience? Yeah, yeah. 367 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,800 But I also know what you're saying isn't an edict. 368 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,120 Yeah, even if it is a really strong opinion. 369 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:46,560 Like I do feel autonomy in my life to, like, make my own 370 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,920 decisions. But also that's all. 371 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,040 We're adults. Like if it were ten years ago, 372 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,320 it might not feel that way, but now, like we, we're adults. 373 00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:03,080 Yeah, make me a sandwich, bitch. Make me a sandwich, yeah. 374 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,640 I think like in conclusion. You still don't always get me 375 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:09,440 water when I ask for it. Yeah, I do 98% of the time. 376 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,640 Just kidding. That's my love language. 377 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,000 Yeah. You get me a water. 378 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,760 It's it started out when we were kids and she's like, get me a 379 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,760 glass of orange juice. Really. 380 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,560 Literally, you're obsessed with orange juice. 381 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,520 Yeah, that was your drink of choice. 382 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,920 We don't even have orange juice. We never drink orange juice 383 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,600 anywhere. Now I'm craving orange juice. 384 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,200 Well, we don't anymore, but we were a Tropicana family growing 385 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,840 up because we never had any soda in our house. 386 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,680 That's true for sugary drinks except for orange juice. 387 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,320 Like we never had like juice like any other like fruit punch 388 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,040 or like apple juice or anything. It was just orange juice, I 389 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,080 guess I. Do freaking love orange juice. 390 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,640 I love fresh squeezed. Orange. 391 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,040 You love orange juice with a pulp? 392 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,400 Oh my God, I love it. I would always request no pulp, 393 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,280 but then our family would get pulp. 394 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,320 Not even some pulp, but it would be like. 395 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,240 Heavy pulp, Heavy pulp. Heavy, but most pulp. 396 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,480 Yeah, from Tropicana. That was, you know. 397 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,240 It's good for you. You know it's good for you. 398 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,600 Drink the pulp fiber. Insane. 399 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,440 Just to close out this section, I would like to be friends with 400 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,480 my kid in the future. Obviously trying to straddle the 401 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,720 parent thing as well but we'll see how that goes. 402 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,520 Hey everyone, quick break to share something special. 403 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,360 Sisters Matcha. We've launched limited batches 404 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,400 of ceremonial grade single estate single cultivar matcha 405 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,960 straight from the family farm Sheree worked on in Japan. 406 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,360 It's pure, authentic, and crafted with intention. 407 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,520 Head to Sisters matcha.com to grab yours before it sells out. 408 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,280 Make Matcha your daily ritual for lasting energy and focus. 409 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,640 OK, the next topic that we're gonna talk about is eldest 410 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:48,480 daughter syndrome, so I will kick it off with a viral tweet 411 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:53,160 on X that says are you happy or are you the oldest sibling and 412 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,960 also a girl? Mic drops. 413 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,840 That hits, that hits for me. You good? 414 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,280 Bro. Barely. 415 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,280 Just barely Just. Barely holding on. 416 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:10,120 Barely. Holding on after that tweet, but 417 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,360 you guys, you might have seen I don't know if you're on this 418 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:16,000 side of TikTok, but earlier, but this year there was a TikTok 419 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,480 that popped off that was all about this. 420 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,680 I think she's a therapist or like a mental health advocate 421 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,200 who made a TikTok about eldest daughter syndrome, which is not 422 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,440 an actual medical syndrome. She was just coining it. 423 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,920 But basically it's Katie Morton, who is a marriage and family 424 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,600 therapist. This TikTok is totally taken off 425 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,200 and it is like taken over the cultural zeitgeist. 426 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,200 And there are articles, so many articles about it. 427 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,880 There's like a Times article, There's the Guardian article. 428 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,120 Even Vogue wrote an article recently about it. 429 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,360 So, you know, they're even like, they're like one step behind the 430 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,840 time. Like, you know, the joke of like 431 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,880 when something's in the New York Times, it's like over the hill. 432 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,840 So jump the shark. Wow. 433 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,320 It's it's kind of like a stupid, like people who like think 434 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,520 they're highbrow type of joke. I see. 435 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,120 If it's in the Times, it's already too late. 436 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,160 Yeah, if it's in my Forbes article, you know. 437 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,240 It's too late. No, it's not. 438 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,880 If it's in your Forbes, you're like on the cutting edge of all 439 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,160 this. I kind of am in the cutting 440 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,720 edge, but I don't know, it takes me a long time to write my 441 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,680 articles. You scooped the cucumber. 442 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,160 I did I. Did like yes, yes. 443 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,320 My cucumber article if you guys don't know what we're talking. 444 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,200 About You Got the scoop? Go to my Forbes page and read my 445 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,040 articles because I wrote one on cucumbers. 446 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,760 Yeah, Sheree is a Forbes contributor. 447 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,280 Isn't that crazy? I'm a writer. 448 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,600 Literally, she's a journalist. I'm a journalist. 449 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,800 In many ways, you're a published journalist. 450 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,400 You're a Forbes journalist. Yeah, it's like. 451 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:39,840 What the heck? Yeah. 452 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,800 What the hell? And my beat is the creator 453 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:42,640 economy. She has a. 454 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,240 Beat. I have a beat, guys. 455 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,560 I have purview. She has purview. 456 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,760 Anyway, so here I'll quote from this Vogue article, but it says 457 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,480 the term describes an all too common situation in which the 458 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,320 eldest daughter and her family is tasked without size and often 459 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,760 developmentally inappropriate responsibilities as a result of 460 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,600 her position. Developmentally responsible. 461 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,520 Developmentally. See, she can't even say it 462 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,720 developmental. Responsibilities. 463 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,280 Wait, what was? That developmentally 464 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,800 inappropriate responsibility. Not the development. 465 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,000 Developmentally inappropriate responsibilities. 466 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,320 As a result of her position in the family's birth order, people 467 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,600 dealing with the effects of Elder Daughter syndrome might 468 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,080 find themselves struggling to uphold boundaries, devoting too 469 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,160 much of their energy to people pleasing, or finding it hard to 470 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,160 shake a Type A or overachieve her mentality in their 471 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:40,240 day-to-day lives. Red metafilth. 472 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,520 Yeah, Red metafilth. So I'm not an eldest daughter, 473 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,840 you are an eldest daughter. But from what I understand about 474 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,880 this is that just being birth order supposedly means 475 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,640 something. I think it does. 476 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:57,360 And being the oldest child, you have to forge a path like for 477 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,600 your younger siblings in many ways. 478 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,000 And then I think just like adding a layer on top of that, 479 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,920 being the oldest daughter, especially in a first Gen. slash 480 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,400 immigrant like HAMP family household is like a whole new 481 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:15,440 experience, a whole nother level of like developmentally 482 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,000 inappropriate responsibilities. I will say to your not like to 483 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:25,160 your credit, but I would venture to say that you also have some 484 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,600 of these syndromes because you are so much younger than me. 485 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,440 Yeah, because you are 7 years younger than me. 486 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:34,080 Like I left and went to college when you were. 487 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,840 Going into middle school, yeah. When you were, oh, when you 488 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,800 were, oh, shoot, you were 10. So then like from the age of 10 489 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,400 onwards, like I wasn't really around. 490 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,240 Yeah. So then you were kind of like 491 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,080 the eldest daughter in some ways. 492 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,120 So it's kind of interesting. Like you got to experience the 493 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:54,360 1st 10 years of your life like very fully as like the youngest 494 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,400 child. And I think that has had like a 495 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,520 really large effect on your personality. 496 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,280 And that's why you're so like confident, outgoing and like 497 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:06,760 self assured naturally. And kind of like not like 498 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,160 attention seeking, but like like the same. 499 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,840 Family comedian of the family. The glue that holds this family 500 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,520 together. I actually think I'm funnier, 501 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:19,240 but you are more outwardly funny. 502 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:24,800 I don't agree with that. But OK, just wait till I glow 503 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,280 up. Yeah, we're still waiting. 504 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:27,760 Just. Wait till I glow still. 505 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:31,920 Waiting, but yeah, no, I it's interesting because I do, I hear 506 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,440 you. Like I kind of have a little 507 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,400 bit. Of both, yes, but you're also 508 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,240 highly, incredibly responsible. Super conscientious. 509 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,360 Yeah. And like type A and like 510 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,120 overachieving as well. Yeah. 511 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,160 Oh, that's so interesting. I just thought of that. 512 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,000 That was a, that was a, that was a novel thought. 513 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,440 Her new thought she's forming her first thought. 514 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:51,840 My. First thought she. 515 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,360 Formed her first. Thought sometimes I surprise 516 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:55,920 myself. Sometimes she has thoughts. 517 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,760 Sometimes I even surprise myself. 518 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:03,120 Yeah, that's interesting, right? Yeah, I just diagnosed you. 519 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,800 Well, I guess there's no middle child between us like you know, 520 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,880 so the middle child, or maybe there is no. 521 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,720 I feel like we both had to be the middle child right Because. 522 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,760 Well, so then before we go into that, like middle children are 523 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,080 like. The Peacekeepers. 524 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,400 The peacekeepers, the ones who need to help with compromise 525 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,600 because they're usually between an older and younger one, and 526 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,280 they're the ones who are, like, often times overlooked by the 527 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,360 parents because they're not neither the oldest nor the 528 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:30,520 youngest. That's usually the diagnosis for 529 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,800 middle children. Yeah, but we do have to be 530 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,400 peacekeepers, too, in our family. 531 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,000 Totally. The art of negotiation. 532 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,840 It was learned through divorce. Yeah. 533 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,640 As children of divorce, Yeah, yeah. 534 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:47,520 Truly, and also like I think we are or I'll speak for myself, 535 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,160 but I think probably true of you too. 536 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:54,520 Like, I think I'm like, hyper aware of, like, other people's 537 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,760 emotions. Yeah. 538 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,080 Because when you're a child and you grow up in a sort of like 539 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,600 chaotic environment like that where you need to be hyper aware 540 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,640 of like your situation, that's something to like, it's really 541 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,440 hard to shake. Well, I would say, I mean, I've 542 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,240 talked about it honestly with a lot of friends. 543 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,280 They say it's one of my superpowers, actually. 544 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,280 I've talked about it with friends, with mentors, with 545 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,880 therapists. It's like being able to reach. 546 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,160 Talks a lot. Yeah, well, I talk about my 547 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:25,000 problems a lot. Being able to like read the room 548 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:29,320 and like diagnose it. It's like a it's a burden but 549 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,480 also a gift because you're able to be like so adept and see and 550 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,200 feel what other people are feeling. 551 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,400 And so many people are not able to recognize that. 552 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,400 I think it's helps me in a professional setting I think. 553 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,200 You're the more evolved version of me because I think that my 554 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:47,920 problem is that I do that, but I also instantly like default 555 00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:53,320 change myself and like like one I like take on the emotions of 556 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,280 what's going on and then I'll like automatically adjust myself 557 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,240 to fit that versus like I feel you're more involved in that. 558 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,400 You can like clock everything and you're super aware, but you 559 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,680 don't have to like you don't react to that naturally. 560 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,080 You like decide how you wanna react to that. 561 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,680 Yeah, you don't have to take on what in fact it's. 562 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,000 So, I mean, I don't know if it's not a choice, it's definitely 563 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,080 not a choice. But like, taking on how other 564 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,840 people are feeling is just like a huge burden. 565 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,400 Yeah. Like emotional burden. 566 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,640 Oh, totally. I was just like, don't burden 567 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,560 me. Like I'm like, this is not for 568 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:24,920 me to take on. Yeah, yeah. 569 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,320 So that's why I'm like, you're more evolved in it. 570 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:33,080 Yeah, you're the Charizard my. Charizard, Charizard Char Well, 571 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,000 also I feel like I've talked about it a lot too. 572 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:39,680 Like I've gone to like years of therapy, like consistently and 573 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,600 weekly to talk about all, all sort of things, you know, in my 574 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:43,720 life. And I think it's good. 575 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:48,600 But like, I think I've thought a lot about it and I'm like, OK, 576 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,600 thinking about these things now. And I talk about it with friends 577 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:52,760 a lot. Like I have friends who also 578 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,440 feel this way too. So it's like a conversation that 579 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,240 we have often. So it doesn't feel as charged, 580 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,720 you know? But yeah, so eldest daughter 581 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,640 syndrome, we both. Have it in some ways. 582 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,680 And then to take the topic even one level deeper, there's eldest 583 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,200 daughter and then there's eldest immigrant daughter. 584 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,480 Which is a whole nother phenomenon. 585 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,600 So eldest daughters in any family are easy to spot. 586 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:23,400 They're labeled bossy people pleasers, the mom of the friend 587 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,320 group, and the kind of type A personality that organizes your 588 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,680 get togethers and is strung tighter than a skim's bikini. 589 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,720 The eldest daughter of immigrants. 590 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,240 Think the eldest daughter trope on crack. 591 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,080 I don't know if I like that. It's from a vice. 592 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,680 Or at least that pill from Limitless. 593 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,240 OK. OK but I like wanted that pill 594 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,200 from limitless. Oh yeah, I well, until he until 595 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,320 Bradley Cooper like didn't have any left and then he only had 596 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,880 like 24 hours to live or something. 597 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,120 So I don't know vices. That wasn't my take away of the 598 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,040 movie. Somehow I forgot that part. 599 00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:00,280 Yeah, I think I've been like called all of these things bossy 600 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,960 people, pleasers, Mama, the friend group. 601 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,480 I think you just as like you have if you have oldest daughter 602 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,000 syndrome, you I feel like you want. 603 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,680 OK, you feel responsible. You feel. 604 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,680 Responsible, but you feel like you need to control things, I 605 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,840 think, or like in situations, even if they're out of your 606 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,560 control, you feel like you need to have control because 607 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,240 sometimes like as an oldest child. 608 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,400 Like you were given responsibility that like outsize 609 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,160 responsibility for your age and for your develop developmental. 610 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,080 Capabilities, but also like if you're an oldest child, I feel 611 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,440 like a lot of the times the parents are still figuring it 612 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,600 out, which is why you have a lot of responsibilities and you need 613 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,960 to like take care of yourself or figure things out for on your 614 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,360 own. True, I do feel like now that 615 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:50,520 I'm now that I'm 35 and I'm not having like a child this year. 616 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:52,480 I don't even know about next year. 617 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:56,040 I thought it'd be next year but anyway, Nope. 618 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,080 Nope. But like I feel like now like I 619 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:05,160 am like 10 and 20 times more equipped to have a child than I 620 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:06,960 would have been if I were like 26. 621 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,800 Could you imagine? I mean, like there's plenty of 622 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,560 people now who are having kids like in like their early 20s, 623 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,840 mid 20s, but like our parents were like that age when they're 624 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,600 having kids. And I was like me when I was 625 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:25,080 2425 years old, I was a 2425 year old teenager and I'm one of 626 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,920 the responsible ones. Like I'm the responsible type A 627 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,800 person, but I don't I wouldn't have been able to handle that. 628 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,600 Like, as opposed to now when I'm 29 and that's just a few years, 629 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,320 but those years were important for me to grow up and also have 630 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:41,600 like, the emotional capacity to like, handle myself, let alone a 631 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:46,120 baby. Speak, girl. 632 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,240 Don't you think, Yeah, that's crazy. 633 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,680 I don't know if I don't know if 20 year olds should be having 634 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,720 kids. Well, it also, it makes you 635 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,640 honestly have a little bit more empathy for your parents because 636 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,200 you're or for our, our parents, I guess. 637 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,520 Because I'm like, damn. Like they were still learning 638 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:08,560 about themselves, still growing up, moving to an entirely new 639 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,320 country where English was their second language, having to give 640 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:17,400 up their prior, like, lucrative careers and lives and, like, 641 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,720 successful career paths to take on a whole new career path that 642 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:26,200 was taking not what they, yeah, taking a step back and, like, 643 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:29,480 not what they originally had set up to do. 644 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,720 It wasn't their hopes or dreams or aspirations. 645 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,760 It was taking something to survive and to provide for your 646 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,200 family. Right in service of like another 647 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,720 hope or dream which was like the next generation. 648 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:45,480 American Dream. Yeah, Kamala Who? 649 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,360 Yeah, Cherie. Yeah. 650 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:53,120 This was like a much more upbeat version of or the topic, but I 651 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,520 think it's because we like work through the trauma in the 1st 652 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,360 episode. I wasn't even traumatized, Jean 653 00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:58,920 said. I looked. 654 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,240 Like I said, she like looked like she was about to cry. 655 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:06,040 I wasn't about to cry. Maybe sometimes I know you 656 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:07,840 better than you know yourself. I don't. 657 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,840 Maybe, but that wasn't the case. Her eyes were shiny. 658 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,640 My eyes are always shiny. She's sparkling eyes. 659 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,040 Your eyes are sparkling. Sparkling. 660 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,760 Oh wait, should I say anything about youngest child syndrome? 661 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:29,920 No one cares. I think in if birth order does 662 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:34,160 matter, it's pretty nice to grow up as the youngest child. 663 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,720 I think like you're showered with a lot of love. 664 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,400 You're the baby of the family. I think it's like one of the 665 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,880 luckier ones. You do get a lot of attention. 666 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:46,640 And like, research says that, like, the youngest kids are the 667 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,320 ones who end up taking more risks because they feel like 668 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,480 they can, they feel supported, whether it's like financially, 669 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,240 emotionally or whatever. Like they can take more risks 670 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:56,880 and do the more entrepreneurial thing. 671 00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,120 Yeah. So I do think, like, I feel very 672 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,320 lucky to be the youngest in our family, even amongst our 673 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,680 cousins. Like, I am regarded as, like, 674 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,840 the baby of the family and always have been. 675 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,120 Yeah. And also the family favorite. 676 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:19,199 Everyone loves Mei Mei. That's true because everyone saw 677 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,800 you and everyone known you from since you were a little baby. 678 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,040 I know it's fun. I was like, I was like the I 679 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,440 wasn't bratty, but I was just like, definitely. 680 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,040 She wasn't bratty, but she was brat. 681 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:30,400 I wasn't. I mean, she was. 682 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,800 So yeah. You were like the definition of 683 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:33,840 brat. Like you were. 684 00:34:34,159 --> 00:34:37,400 She was that girl. Since she was, like, born. 685 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,040 She's always been that girl. No, seriously. 686 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,960 Like, I think that is also, yeah, you're not just the 687 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,679 English child. You're the youngest of all of 688 00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:45,960 the cousins. All of our cousins. 689 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,000 So like. You've always been given like a 690 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,040 lot of attention and always a lot of positive attention. 691 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,520 Yeah. By like all the generations. 692 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,400 Yeah. And could like do no wrong in 693 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,040 some ways, you know. Yes, like. 694 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:00,880 Not that I ever got into trouble, but like. 695 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,720 Yeah, you're always very. Respectful. 696 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,080 Yeah. You're good. 697 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,200 But I think people like people like my grandma and grandpa like 698 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,080 showered me with a lot of attention. 699 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:14,560 Yeah, and like encouraged your outgoing, your naturally 700 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,800 outgoing and like positive nature. 701 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,520 Yeah, they really reinforce that. 702 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,960 I feel very lucky about that. Like I think my grandparents did 703 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:24,440 a really good job. I don't know if it was like as 704 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,200 welcome in my, like, immediate family that I was like, super 705 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:32,360 outgoing and like, you know, as a kid very much liking the 706 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,480 limelight. But I think my grandparents 707 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,720 really leaned into it and helped that blossom in a way that 708 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:39,720 grandparents do. This is my maternal 709 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,680 grandparents. So I feel very lucky about that. 710 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:47,200 Yeah, for that her eyes are shiny again. 711 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,560 It in some ways I feel like the benefits of you being the 712 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,560 youngest child and like taking a lot of risk have now finally 713 00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:02,360 come full circle to help me in a way. 714 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,440 Because like you obviously have been working on your creator 715 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:10,520 career for part time, but for the last like five years. 716 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,480 And I've been sort of like behind the scenes, like helping 717 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:17,080 you with it and like being a part of it, but not fully in it. 718 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:22,480 And like the only like the fact that I've been watching you do 719 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,040 it and been sort of a part of it for so long. 720 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,480 Yeah. Do I now feel comfortable doing 721 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,480 this startup and doing this entrepreneurial journey with you 722 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,240 and even like putting myself out there like this because like 723 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:38,960 I've mentioned before, like I'm naturally a much more private 724 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,520 person than sure he is. But like having seen the 725 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:47,280 benefits of your creator career and like all of the work that 726 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,880 goes into it and all of how much it helps everyone, that has 727 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:55,080 inspired me and encouraged me to now do this entrepreneurial 728 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,600 journey with you. Yeah, it's really come full 729 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,480 circle and it's like really beautiful that we can do this 730 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,640 together. I was out to dinner last night 731 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:06,400 and one of my friends, guy friends was just like he 732 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:10,880 remarked on how incredible it is that like we are so aligned in 733 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,760 what we want to be doing right now in terms of like vision and 734 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,200 like where we're going with sisters matcha, with our Japan 735 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,240 trip, with our content, with our conferences. 736 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,240 Like he remarked, he like said some stuff about that and I was 737 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:27,040 just like, you're so right. Like, it is incredible. 738 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,480 Yeah, I I think it's really special. 739 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:33,520 And like, obviously it doesn't happen for like many people, let 740 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,080 alone for like siblings. Yeah, I made, I made my own best 741 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,720 friend. Finally. 742 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,480 It's paying off. Finally. 743 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:46,280 I was your built in best friend. Yeah, your eyes are shiny. 744 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:47,800 Are they? Yeah. 745 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,120 Best friend Besties. Besties. 746 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:54,640 Besties. Besties. 747 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,080 Yeah. OK. 748 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,960 Thank you guys so much for tuning into this episode of The 749 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,560 Tiger Sisters. If you enjoy this episode, 750 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,320 Please remember to like, comment, and subscribe, and 751 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,760 please share it with someone who might find it helpful. 752 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,880 Thanks. We'll see you next time, bye.