1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,680 What is it like dating as two ambitious women who are single 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:09,560 in their late 20s and mid 30s? Gina and I talked about dating 3 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,280 in our season one episode of Tiger Sisters, and now we're 4 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,840 giving you a dating update and also going to talk more about 5 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:21,440 relationships, how we see dating apps, our formula for dating, 6 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:26,480 happiness and balancing, feeling hopeful and also hopeless while 7 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:30,080 dating at this age. I'm Shuri, I'm Jean, and we're 8 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:45,760 the Tiger Sisters. With Valentine's Day coming up, 9 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,040 we wanted to do this special bonus episode for Season 3. 10 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,360 In addition to all of our amazing interviews, we kind of 11 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:53,760 thought we'd interview each other. 12 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,600 And this is a very, very highly requested follow up to the 13 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,200 earlier dating episode that we had. 14 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,680 So excited to get into it. And we'll get started right 15 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,560 after this break. Hey guys, quick break to let you 16 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,240 know that we now have merch on Sisters matcha.com. 17 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,080 We have sweatshirts and T-shirts that we designed ourselves. 18 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,360 Go check it out and please rate US five stars on Spotify and 19 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,040 Apple Podcasts. These ratings are so important 20 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,720 for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters 21 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,640 Podcast. Thank you for your support. 22 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,160 OK, so we're going to start off with the roses and thorns. 23 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,680 So, Jean, what is your rose and your thorn? 24 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:35,040 OK, I'll start with my thorn. I have been having sort of a 25 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:40,960 bout of SAD seasonal affective disorder or seasonal affective 26 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,280 depression. I don't know, disorder I think, 27 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,840 but it's basically like the winter Blues, but it's actually 28 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,640 clinically, it's the clinical name for winter Blues. 29 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:56,120 And I remember I got it really, really badly back in Boston 30 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,280 seven years ago. And that was part of my 31 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,920 calculation for being like, oh, like, I should move to Los 32 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,600 Angeles after school. Like the land of where it's only 33 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:10,280 sunny, basically. But this year, this winter. 34 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,160 And like, I can't like a little bit down every winter, but this 35 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:17,920 winter with like the, you know, the fires in LA and then just 36 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,080 like kind of like running around and everything. 37 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,320 And you were sick for a little bit, too. 38 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,800 And I was sick. I had pneumonia from the fires. 39 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:29,800 I just have been feeling kind of like in a funk. 40 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,080 So I've been trying to do things to like, get out of it while 41 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,640 also not being like too hard on myself. 42 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,160 So that's kind of my thorn. So anyone else who goes through 43 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,280 who feels like winter Blues or you feel like you're in a funk, 44 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,400 I see you. I feel you. 45 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,600 You're not alone. We got this. 46 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:58,560 Don't be too hard on yourself. Do things that are like 47 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,040 rejuvenating for you. And then at the same time, like 48 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,320 what I'm trying to do is like push myself a little bit to do 49 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,120 activities even if I really don't want to 'cause I think 50 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,960 that's like one of the underlying feelings of like when 51 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:17,080 you're in the the sad seasonal faction disorder, like period. 52 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,080 You just like kind of don't want to do anything. 53 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,560 You feel like nesting and resting more. 54 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,160 Yeah, like you just feel like like you don't want to do 55 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,560 anything. Like you're like, oh, I can't 56 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,200 possibly bring myself to do this. 57 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,760 Or like you just feel like kind of like, you know, when you're 58 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,440 in your like ludial phase for women out there, when you're 59 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,440 like, I cannot for myself to do anything. 60 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,240 It's like feeling like that, like all the for many weeks on 61 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,680 it. So that is the thorn. 62 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,600 Well, you that's also we have bright lights on us to simulate 63 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,000 sunlight, which is one of the things that can help. 64 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,280 Sad. Yeah, get a happy lamp. 65 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,680 So you're saying I should record more episodes? 66 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,840 Jeez. She's trying to put me to work. 67 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,920 Maybe. OK, so that's the thorn, but I 68 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:08,520 have a fabulous rose, which is this past weekend, I went up to 69 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:13,040 Sonoma and had an amazing weekend away with four of my 70 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:18,440 girlfriends from HBS. And we basically, like descended 71 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:23,200 upon Sonoma from like I came from LA, my friend came from 72 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,160 Texas, one came from New York, and then two of them live in SF. 73 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,640 So like we all like, flew in from like all corners of the 74 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:35,480 United States. And it was just like the most 75 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,280 like rejuvenating, like wonderful weekend to like 76 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,360 reconnect. Yeah. 77 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,120 Like girl time is so special. Actually, one of the things that 78 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,120 one of my girlfriends said at the time, she was like, she was 79 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,200 like, you know, like women, girlfriends really carry you 80 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,680 through life. She's like, yes, there's men, 81 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,920 there's partners, there's, you know, you'll have your 82 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,880 boyfriends and your husbands. But she was, like I've always 83 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,080 said, like girlfriends carry you through life. 84 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,440 That's so Sex in the City. I really is that's. 85 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,960 What Charlotte actually said before, she's like, Oh my God, 86 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,240 what if we wear each other's Zumba? 87 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:09,640 That's so. Right. 88 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,680 And you know, guys are just, you know. 89 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,240 There. Yeah, yeah. 90 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,080 So like, not only was it fun and rejuvenating and like really 91 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:21,480 helped me like I almost, I almost, I really like for not a 92 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,200 split second, but for a moment in time, I really almost didn't 93 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,320 go because I was so like in my sad, I was like, oh, now I have 94 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,120 to like take a flight and like go. 95 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,360 And like then I was really sad. It was going to be rainy there 96 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,120 over the weekend because there, there was an atmospheric river. 97 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,320 But it turned out to be wonderful. 98 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:41,480 And also like, what's crazy is so the group of us like we 99 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,160 aren't always in like super close contacts. 100 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,200 So like we hadn't been together in person since last May. 101 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:54,120 And what is crazy is how many things like life changing events 102 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:59,640 have happened for all of us in the time between May and now 103 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,560 that like February or end of January. 104 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,280 It's like 8 months. Yeah. 105 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:09,160 But I was like shooketh like like major like life changing, 106 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,680 like health events, like it like near death health events like 107 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:19,440 like changing of like jobs, like, you know, a changing of 108 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,600 relationships, like so many things have happened. 109 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,600 And it's just like, I don't know, it kind of it really gives 110 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:32,320 you perspective in a way to to really share yourself like so, 111 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,560 so like deeply and honestly and like tell your friends like your 112 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:40,800 true everything that's going on and like vice versa. 113 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,320 It's just like. It's very special. 114 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:49,480 You can be open with a group of women who support you and 115 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:54,680 support you through like my professor Joel Peterson says at 116 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,880 Stanford, like he says that it will always, it will rain in 117 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,200 everyone's lives. Like the rain will fall is what 118 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,760 he says in everyone's lives. Be that like the death of a 119 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:09,800 family member, a huge health crisis, and you just need to 120 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,440 find support systems that will help you get you through the 121 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,120 rain. Because he's like, there's 122 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,480 nothing else guaranteed except for like rain in your life. 123 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,960 Yeah, well, but it's also, it's also really interesting because 124 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,120 like we shared these things with each other, but then also like 125 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:30,000 on the surface, everyone's life looks like amazing. 126 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:35,640 Like if you just were to be like not super close friends, but 127 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,960 like friendly with the person, you'd be like Oh my God, like 128 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,960 you're. Killing it, so many different 129 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,720 ways to do that and not know that like deep down there are 130 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,520 these like giant pillars that are changing and impacting them. 131 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,440 Yeah. So yeah, it's not all, like, 132 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,400 doom and gloom, but I'm just saying that like, it's really 133 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,960 special to be able to, like, share yourself fully with 134 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,800 people. And, OK, this is the other thing 135 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:04,160 is that they are all women that I deeply respect on, like, many 136 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,800 different levels. And like, I feel like I learned 137 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,400 from them. And yeah. 138 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,560 And it was also helpful to just go and kind of like plug into. 139 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,760 So one of my friends, she lives in San Francisco. 140 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,560 And so we, like, stayed at her place in Sonoma. 141 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,680 And it was just also really fun to like, plug into somebody 142 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:26,800 else's life for just a couple days and just like see how they 143 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:31,480 live and almost like learn from them in that way, you know? 144 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,880 Yeah, you get to live vicariously. 145 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,000 Yeah, a bit to be like, oh, like, I love your interior 146 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,120 decoration. Yeah, I love your style. 147 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:40,880 Yes. Yeah. 148 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,640 And it's also nice sometimes I think, for them to, like, see 149 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,280 your admiration of them, like reflected, you know, like, 150 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,120 you're kind of like mirrors of each other in a way, like real 151 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,480 friends. That's so special. 152 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:58,880 Yeah, so it was, I feel like a much, much needed weekend that 153 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,680 just so happened to be like at the perfect time. 154 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,880 And it was like a really, really good rose to like the thorn. 155 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,000 I was really happy you went to Sonoma. 156 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,440 And I actually told mom about it too, OK. 157 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,080 And she was. Really, Narc? 158 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,960 But and she was really happy that you were going too. 159 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,440 Oh, thank you. Yeah. 160 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,840 Like it's good for you I feel like to catch up with 161 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,120 girlfriend, especially ones that you you hold so dearly. 162 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,120 Yeah, yeah, it was really nice. So how about you? 163 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:32,440 What is your relative for? My Rosa is actually similar. 164 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:37,800 OK, yeah, it's not my like old friends, but it's new friends 165 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,800 that I've made in LA. We have a group of girlfriends. 166 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,240 There's like four of us and we are all the thing that has 167 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:48,880 brought us together is that we are all founders, Co founders of 168 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,160 CPG companies. So Gina and I have founded 169 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,200 Sisters Matcha, which is our Matcha brand. 170 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,800 We're drinking it right now. You might have heard from an 171 00:09:55,800 --> 00:10:00,300 earlier AD that we put in there, but so Jean and I have Co 172 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,960 founded Sisters Mancha and then these three other women who are 173 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:07,920 in my like LA girlfriend group are also CPG founders and these 174 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,440 three women are brilliant, really special. 175 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,960 We have like so much to talk about of course, on the business 176 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,320 side because we all respect each other, but we all kind of have 177 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,120 different like specialties as well. 178 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,400 Like they come from different backgrounds. 179 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,000 One woman is in private equity. Another person used to work at a 180 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:29,640 larger like much larger, like food brand and the last woman 181 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:36,000 has experience working in like beauty, but at like a giant 182 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,560 beauty company. So like, it's so interesting how 183 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,160 we've come together and I really. 184 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,760 And then your tech. And then one was McKinsey. 185 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:47,800 Exactly, Tech McKinsey and then two of the women went to HBS. 186 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,600 They recently graduated my year. So we've also bonded and talked 187 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,800 about that. And that's actually how I know 188 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,000 one of them. And they're also like super fit, 189 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,440 really well adjusted, like go getters and super career driven. 190 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,560 So I really respect them as people too. 191 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,280 And I've talked to one of the women about like we talked about 192 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:10,120 like dating and guys and like, I can just tell like they also 193 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,320 really respect themselves a lot and have a very high bar for. 194 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,680 Themselves in all. Aspects of their lives. 195 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,080 And that just makes me respect them even more 'cause, you know, 196 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,720 we were kind of talking about boys at at one point and like 197 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,680 who this girl's dating and she was just like giving like a very 198 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:28,840 no BS response to be like, Can you believe he did that? 199 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,000 And she's like, that's unacceptable actually. 200 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,400 And like, I will not tolerate that. 201 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,640 You know, I was just like, yes, you know, I love no BS. 202 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:39,040 I love no BS the. Older I get the more I value no 203 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:43,360 BS. Yeah, I, I really appreciate 204 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,920 this group. And then this coming weekend, 205 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,800 I'm actually going skiing with one of the women as well who's 206 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,040 in who's brought me into her friend group here. 207 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,640 And so I, I, I so appreciate that. 208 00:11:54,640 --> 00:12:00,280 And it just goes to show the power of female friendship, yes. 209 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,920 Well, I was just gonna say, like, the power of female 210 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,920 friendship is also there's something really special in, 211 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,120 like, the group where it's like you admire each person so much 212 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,440 in different ways, but then also it's kind of like reflects on 213 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,680 you as well. It's like you see their beauty 214 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:21,480 and their power and their, like, magnetism and their skills and 215 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,520 their kindness. And then it's also a reflection 216 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,600 on you. Yeah. 217 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,600 It's like it gets all of that goodness is also reflected back 218 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,240 to you. That's right. 219 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,720 But it's funny that you were like talking about how amazing 220 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,880 this group of girlfriends are because I also have like a newer 221 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:46,360 group of girlfriends in LA that like the the joke that we made 222 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:51,120 when we like first all hung out was like, we are like basically 223 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,760 the C-Suite of like a Fortune 500 company. 224 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,920 It's funny. They're all like 1 is like a 225 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,800 super successful, like lawyer. What? 226 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:05,280 Like I worked in product. 1 is a product designer, 1 is like a 227 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:09,440 marketing like CMO, like everyone is just hell yeah that 228 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,080 has their own lane is like amazing and. 229 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,120 Wait a second. Don't start a company with them 230 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,520 now because we're doing stuff, but consider it later on, yeah. 231 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,920 Yeah, but it was just like a joke that like. 232 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,640 Yeah, it was just, that's powerful. 233 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,640 Maybe your group chat should be called the C-Suite, although 234 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,280 that's like, kind of disgusting in corporate. 235 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,560 But like, you know that Gina and I like that shit. 236 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,080 So if you're here watching this, you like it too. 237 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:39,360 So got him. Or you will like it the more 238 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,320 episodes you watch. I'm looking at you. 239 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,320 OK. Wait, I kind of love this. 240 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,720 This episode was meant to be about dating in relationships. 241 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:51,920 And then I love how it's both of our roses were about Galentine's 242 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,600 Day. Yeah, and non Valentine's Day. 243 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,560 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do have a Galentine's Day planned. 244 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,800 Oh, so do I Actually, one of the women who's in the group of the 245 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,840 four of us is hosting a Galentine's Day. 246 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,240 See. Oh, I love that. 247 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:10,040 My girlfriend is flying in from Aspen for or Valentine's Day. 248 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,080 Are you guys hanging out on the 14th? 249 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,400 I think on the 13th, yes. 13th and 14th. 250 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,240 Wait. What are you doing on the 14th? 251 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,480 I was thinking about this. Should we do something together? 252 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:25,920 Maybe. Being busy, OK. 253 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,640 I'm not going to commit on camera. 254 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,200 Oh my God. All right, I was going to invite 255 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,400 you on a date for sushi, but never mind, you're paying. 256 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:38,840 OK. And then so I'll just wrap up 257 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,920 with my thorn. I've had, I don't know if it's 258 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,680 like persistent or acute, but I've been having back pain. 259 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,240 That is my thorn. She's only 29, ladies and 260 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,160 gentlemen. Guys, this is 29 they're. 261 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:55,120 One year early. 30 is coming up so soon and like, Oh my God, in 262 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,920 less than six months. Holy shit. 263 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,680 Wait, I holy beep. Oh my gosh. 264 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:03,120 OK, anyways, I have back pain. It was first first started a 265 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,560 couple of weeks ago when I was playing golf a little bit too, 266 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,440 like the activity was too strenuous. 267 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,040 She's playing golf like 3 days in a row. 268 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,760 Three days in a row I swing really hard and it was 25 269 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:20,240 degrees, 29° and then I've been working out a lot, so I've also 270 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,040 kind of like strained my back again. 271 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,880 She was playing sub freezing golf. 272 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,480 Yeah, so I think I need a chill. Yeah. 273 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,360 And take it easy. A little easier, no? 274 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,680 Kidding. I've been going to the gym like 275 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:36,120 for 10 days in a row, which I'm really proud of, but I think I 276 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,120 need to go a little bit easier and have more rest days, like 277 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:45,160 walk more, stretch more 'cause this is 29 1/2 guys so I need a 278 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,800 chill. So that's my thorn and I'm 279 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,400 trying not to get injured when I'm going skiing this weekend. 280 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,480 So I really, it's like on my mind, you know? 281 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,760 So that's my thorn. Yeah, don't be the one loser at 282 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:02,480 Deer Valley. I need I lost half a day of 283 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:06,160 skiing. That's such a good reference. 284 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,480 Does anyone know that reference? That's a reference to when 285 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:14,000 Gwyneth Paltrow had to go to court because she had a 286 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,200 collision with another person. I think someone collided into 287 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,320 her. Yes, but he still sued her, 288 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,720 right? And it was at Deer Valley, and 289 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,720 it was like. They're like, what were the 290 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,280 losses, man? She's like, ma'am? 291 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,600 And she's like, well, I lost half a day of skiing. 292 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:35,200 But what was iconic is at the very end after the judge ruled 293 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,240 in her favor and the man lost, she, I think she was wearing 294 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,760 this like, white suit, like a cream blazer. 295 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,000 And she like walked up to him at the end and she like, touched 296 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000 his shoulder and like leaned into his ear and like whispered 297 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,160 something into his ear. And they walked away really 298 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,600 well. Apparently what she said was 299 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,160 like, I wish you well or something like that. 300 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,200 Like I hope you know you have a good life or something. 301 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,680 I did not know that I have. To look this up now to see 302 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,560 exactly what she said interesting. 303 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:12,760 But it was like, it was like a, a kind thing to say, but you 304 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,000 know, it could be slightly ominous too. 305 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,079 It's. A little bit threatening. 306 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,240 It's like, yeah. I wish you well. 307 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:27,520 And, yeah, like, I hope you have a nice life, you know, watch 308 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,240 out. You know, the undertones. 309 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,320 Anyways, let's dive right into the episode. 310 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:34,600 Yeah. And we'll get into the episode 311 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,840 right after this quick break. Hey everyone, quick break to 312 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,200 share something special. Sisters Matcha. 313 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,960 We've launched limited batches of ceremonial grade single 314 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,080 estate single cultivar matcha straight from the family farm 315 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,560 Sheree worked on in Japan. It's pure, authentic, and 316 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,440 crafted with intention. Head to Sisters matcha.com to 317 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,560 grab yours before it sells out. Make matcha your daily ritual 318 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:59,280 for lasting energy and focus. OK, so welcome back. 319 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,360 Wanted to dive right into this episode and give you guys some 320 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,960 context. So Gene and I are going to be 321 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,880 talking about dating and relationships and romance and 322 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,040 all that stuff. But if you've been watching, you 323 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,560 know, season 3 of Tiger Sisters, you know our content is usually 324 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,880 very professional. In season 3, we're interviewing 325 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,640 investors, CEO's, founders, professional people. 326 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,800 Gina and I truly believe that Tiger Sisters represents the 327 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,040 whole self like we can talk about our careers, be super 328 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,360 driven and ambitious as the title of this, you know, video 329 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:34,800 says, But that also includes how it's going with relationships, 330 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,000 both, you know, friendships and romantic. 331 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,240 And we want to talk about this more openly with you guys. 332 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,920 It's usually not something that we talk about, but we hope to 333 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,800 inspire more conversation around it because it's the 334 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,160 conversations we're having with each other and with our 335 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,840 girlfriends. Yeah. 336 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:56,320 And I think you guys know that. You know, in the past, I have 337 00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:01,280 kind of worked on being more vulnerable and more been for the 338 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,000 sake of this podcast. And thank you so much for all 339 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,920 the feedback over the last couple seasons in the comments 340 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:11,000 of saying like how me being vulnerable has helped you guys 341 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,000 in certain ways. That's really encouraged me to 342 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,320 continue to be open and vulnerable. 343 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:21,600 And also I was even more convinced that we should do this 344 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,680 episode when I saw the most recent Call Her Daddy episode 345 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:30,440 with Rachel Kirkconnell, who was the winner of The Bachelor I 346 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,240 think like four or five years ago. 347 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:37,160 And she and her partner Matt just recently broke up after a 4 348 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:42,120 plus year long relationship. And I didn't watch the whole 349 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,960 episode, but I watched some short form videos and snippets 350 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,160 of it. And just like through the course 351 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,800 of that and like hearing the conversation between Rachel 352 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:58,360 Kirkconnell and Alex Cooper, I just heard her say things that I 353 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:02,200 resonated so strongly with and I had never really heard anyone 354 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,920 else say. And she kind of verbalized 355 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,960 things. I'll give you an example. 356 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,880 So the strongest example was when she said she was like, 357 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:18,000 yeah, I just felt really sad because I imagined all these, 358 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,720 like, future children with Matt. And they were like, all gone. 359 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,000 And she was like, I don't know if that, you know, I don't want 360 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,080 to sound crazy. And then Alex Cooper jumps and 361 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,720 she goes, no, you don't sound crazy at all. 362 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,800 And that is something that's like a feeling that I myself 363 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:37,960 have had after the dissolution of my engagement and eight-year 364 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,760 long relationship. Like, you know, that was 365 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,480 something that for so long, for all eight years, I had already 366 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,040 like conceptualized a life and a future with this person, which 367 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:52,800 included like beautiful in my mind, children, beautiful 368 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:57,240 imaginary children that I had thought about for so many years. 369 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,760 And like, it was a kind of like a foregone conclusion. 370 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:05,120 And it was almost in a way like the, you know, the dissolution 371 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,960 of that relationship and engagement. 372 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,960 Like it wasn't just the relationship, but it was the 373 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:13,520 entire future life was just like kind of like poof, like up and 374 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,600 disappeared, including all of those like imaginary children 375 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,600 that I had had in my head for almost a decade. 376 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:26,400 So like hearing her say something so similar and then 377 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,520 hearing Alex Cooper be like, no, that doesn't sound crazy. 378 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:34,280 Like that was so powerful. And it really touched me in a 379 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:39,440 way where I was like, these sorts of conversations are 380 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,360 important for us to be having. Like they are pretty much like 381 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,040 equally just as important, I think as all of the 382 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:50,040 conversations we have about like career, growth, learning, 383 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,760 because, you know, the your life is like a holistic picture. 384 00:21:56,360 --> 00:22:01,680 So yeah, I just think that maybe like to some people, these 385 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:08,280 conversations seem trivial or like not as important as the 386 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,240 ones that are more professional. But I have come to the 387 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,920 realization that they are just as important because these are 388 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,680 all the things that we're going through in life. 389 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:21,960 And that's my soliloquy. Thank you for the yes. 390 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,880 I mean honestly, like people say, the most important decision 391 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,760 you'll make in your life is who you choose to marry. 392 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,400 So I mean, it's the most. Important decision that'll 393 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:35,640 affect your finances, that'll affect, you know, your progeny 394 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,320 that'll affect your your progeny and. 395 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,640 It'll. Affect your immediate family it. 396 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,440 Affects your daily health because it's the person that you 397 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,200 spend the most meals with. Right, your habits too. 398 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,880 Like what are their habits? Yeah, if you go to the gym. 399 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,320 Yeah, or don't go to the gym, you know, if you guys are more 400 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,360 sedentary. I mean, it's just everything 401 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:59,440 becomes so intertwined. So it, it seems natural that we 402 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,320 talk about this. But I agree, like I don't know 403 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:07,480 why in society it has become more trivialized or like Zena's 404 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,640 like that's not a serious topic. But like if we're going to talk 405 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,240 about it in like kind of an academic way, guys, I bring up a 406 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,600 formula. I made a formula. 407 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,240 Like I am thinking about it in a much more like structured way. 408 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,480 Yeah, I think it gets trivialized because it's 409 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:29,720 considered like a women's topic. And not to say, you know, not to 410 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,320 bring up the patriarchy, but. But in the patriarchy. 411 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:39,760 But the patriarchy sort of like by default trivializes anything 412 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,560 that is like considered to be like a women's topic. 413 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:49,720 I mean in a like heterosexual relationship it I mean in every 414 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,080 relationship it takes 2 but in a heterosexual relationship. 415 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,000 Not in every relationship. Maybe 3? 416 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000 Is that what you're? Getting oh, I was thinking some 417 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,400 people say they're self partnered. 418 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,240 Oh, never mind. You went down the number, I went 419 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:06,360 up a number. Remember Emma Watson said that a 420 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,840 few years ago? She was like, I'm self 421 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,920 partnered. I was like, I think she said 422 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,160 that in a Vogue article. That's some bullshit. 423 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,400 Just kidding guys. I read Vogue for the articles. 424 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,240 Yes. Sure, sure. 425 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,680 Like I said, there have been many, many requests for a Part 2 426 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,840 of our dating episode and one of the questions that we got from 427 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,680 the mailbag I will read out loud from boarding 711. 428 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,800 They asked. I'd love an in depth analysis of 429 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,360 what worked and what did not work in past relationships to 430 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,560 help inform the future. Great question. 431 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:41,520 That's great question. It's only. 432 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,480 Something that I've been thinking about every single day 433 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:48,400 of my life, and now I have a platform to talk about it. 434 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,200 Yeah. And so funny. 435 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,680 Actually, after our first dating episode went out, I think 436 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,920 there's like, close to like, 15,000 views on that episode. 437 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,600 Like a lot of my Stanford friends actually like, messaged 438 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,360 me because I think they were like, they wanted the tea. 439 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,160 They like wanted the the juicy, the sip. 440 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,560 OK, so this is Part 2 of that dating episode. 441 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,720 I just thought it was funny. I have been doing a lot of 442 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,320 reflecting, especially as, you know, the new year just 443 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,680 happened. And I was thinking about like, 444 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,840 what do I want for 2025? I want to be more intentional 445 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,920 with dating. And so I've been reflecting on 446 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,360 my past relationships and I've come up with a formula for 447 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:26,920 happiness. Roast me in the comments if 448 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,440 you'd like or. Provide for dating happiness. 449 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,480 Yes, yes for dating happiness, for a relational happiness. 450 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,160 Romantic relation happiness. Exactly. 451 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,600 First of all, this is personal. Like, I don't know, you guys can 452 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,440 listen to it and maybe if you it resonates with you, you can, you 453 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,120 know, adapt it to your life. She said. 454 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:48,880 Results may very This is not my professional opinion. 455 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:53,120 This is my only, you know, my only lived experience, but so 456 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:56,480 I'll give you guys the formula and I also like don't know if a 457 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,720 formula is like what you need for love. 458 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:05,640 Like it seems like love and an equation inherently do not mix. 459 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,160 Well, I think it's just for you, it's a, it's helpful as an 460 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:13,920 exercise to have a structured way of thinking about it as 461 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,120 opposed to feeling like, I don't know, there could be like 50 462 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:20,080 million inputs and how do you know what's actually important 463 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,400 and what's not important? And this is the way you've come 464 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:29,480 up with this formula is through your experimentation of dating 465 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,000 and what you've learned from your past relationships. 466 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,640 And then this is like a very structured way for you to apply 467 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,120 your learnings to like summarize and then apply your learnings 468 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:42,920 going forward. It's honestly like guardrails. 469 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,560 I feel like because I'm like, I kind of need these things to 470 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,120 feel fulfilled and happy in a romantic relationship. 471 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,040 So here's the equation. On the other side is happiness. 472 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:56,080 Happiness equals and it's three things that make up this 473 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,280 equation. The first thing is stability. 474 00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,680 Second is what I'm calling juice. 475 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:08,120 And the third is an X Factor. So stability are all those 476 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:11,520 things that I feel like I need to feel very like safe and cared 477 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:15,360 for and a relationship. And a lot of these things are 478 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:21,240 what some people might call baseline, but I have since like 479 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,840 put it a label on it and a name like, OK, these are the things 480 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,680 that I need. So I feel like an example of 481 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:30,440 stability is like feeling prioritized, being like 482 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,800 considered and decisions picking me up, dropping me off. 483 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,040 Like taking the initiative to plan dates. 484 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,480 I want to be thought of when we're not together, showing me 485 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,760 that we're thought of. These are like things that make 486 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,920 me feel very safe in a relationship, psychologically 487 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:49,720 safe and also physically safe. And I think in my past 488 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:53,320 relationships I had felt not prioritized it. 489 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,240 It felt really bad. We had really good chemistry 490 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,360 juice, which I'll get it get into, but like, I don't know, I 491 00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:05,000 just like didn't feel like they put as much time and energy into 492 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,240 the relationship as I was. So that's stability. 493 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:14,960 Jump in if and if any questions. I'm absorbing OK and juice is I 494 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,080 don't know if I need to explain this one. 495 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,480 It's just chemistry. It's just like, are you vibing 496 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,800 with someone? Are you calling it juice? 497 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,800 That's what my therapist called it actually. 498 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:28,160 OK. Like I described it to him and 499 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,440 he's just like, that sounds like juice. 500 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,920 And I was like, OK, do not like that word. 501 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,880 It's unusual, it's memorable. It's memorable. 502 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,000 OK. So we'll go with that. 503 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,120 Yes, so. Juice, juice. 504 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,120 But honestly, like, I wrote down all the things that are like, 505 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,680 juicy to me, and I wanna like, clarify that, like, none of the 506 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,600 things that I listed were physical traits. 507 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,720 It was all like, very much like, am I intellectually stimulated? 508 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,160 Do you have a good sense of humor? 509 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,880 Like, do I feel like very connected to you right now? 510 00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,160 So juice is just attraction. It's attraction. 511 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,240 I do think it should include physical attraction though. 512 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,360 Yeah, of course. Yeah. 513 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,240 But I guess when I first thought about it like none of the things 514 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,400 were about physical attraction, but that needs to be added. 515 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,080 I think it's 'cause your definition of being physically 516 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,560 attracted to someone is not like so prescriptive, like it's not 517 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,720 like they must be brunette or they must be blonde or like 518 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:28,680 anything like that. So I think it's just being 519 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,800 attracted to someone. Yeah, physically attracted, 520 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,040 whatever it may be. Humor is a really big part of 521 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:38,320 what I find attractive to, and so having a good sense of humor 522 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,440 is definitely part of the juice. And the last is an X Factor, 523 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,680 what I'm calling an X Factor. I think even in my. 524 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,800 Platonic relationships like my best friends, my best guy 525 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,720 friends, best girlfriends have an X Factor about them. 526 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:53,120 They're just like really interesting people who are 527 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,760 passionate about something and they're like a subject matter 528 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,480 expert in something because they're just nerds. 529 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:02,200 They like, care about like, running or they care about, you 530 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,920 know, mountain biking or about, like content creation, like 531 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,720 whatever it is. Like, I think my friends are 532 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,720 just so interesting. And I think dating people who 533 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,640 are also interesting and have hobbies and are not just focused 534 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,400 about work is something that I've found very stimulating. 535 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,480 How are you going to like apply this formula? 536 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,680 I'm actually like have already started applying this formula 537 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,640 like day-to-day in like my interactions, Like I've gone on 538 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:35,720 like 2 dates and I kind of see where I feel very fulfilled in 539 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,880 the formula and where some things are lacking. 540 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:42,080 And actually last night I went on a date and I didn't tell you 541 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,480 this. I mean, I didn't tell you this 542 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,440 part, but we actually had a conversation where I felt like 543 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,560 part of the stability was lacking with this person because 544 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,680 of something they had done on a prior date. 545 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,640 And you told them? Well, they had asked me like, so 546 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,600 they had asked me like, I don't want to get too many details 547 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,520 here. The conversation led to us 548 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,840 talking about it actually. And I was like, oh, I didn't 549 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,840 feel so great when this happened actually. 550 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,320 And I was like, it's also part of my formula, which I like 551 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,040 mentioned, I mentioned it to him so he was familiar and I was 552 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,400 like, I didn't feel like super like comfortable She had. 553 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:17,760 Given him a. Rubric. 554 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,440 I had given him a rubric and he and graded him against this 555 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,560 side. Not exactly. 556 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,160 She gave him. She was like, these are the 557 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:30,800 areas in for improvement you will be evaluated against if you 558 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:35,440 want to be promoted. That's what you gave him. 559 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,920 But actually. What is it called when it's like 560 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:41,440 that list of like the document that the promotion write out for 561 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,680 promotion like promotion requirements or something like 562 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,760 that? Oh my God, you're so right. 563 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,720 Oh, it's like we call them career ladders. 564 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:55,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. PM ladder or like PM roll or 565 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,560 roll ladder, these are all the requirements to get to the next. 566 00:31:58,560 --> 00:31:59,920 Stage. I mean, I wasn't even telling 567 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:03,880 like it's I wasn't even telling him my equation. 568 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,520 She's like, it came out really naturally. 569 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,960 I wasn't telling him my equation. 570 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:09,760 So like to tell him I was grading him on it. 571 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,760 I was just sharing this like new thought that I had. 572 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,640 And then later on I was just like, oh, I'm so in my mind. 573 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,440 I was like, I'm so happy I told it to him because now I can 574 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,800 refer to like the stability element and something was 575 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,920 missing. And then he got it, you know, 576 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,000 like I wasn't putting pressure on him like to like be all these 577 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000 things. I was just telling him. 578 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,160 But I'm really glad that I was, it's open about it cuz wow, we 579 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,240 are friends. Yeah. 580 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,520 And so like I was like this really interesting thing I 581 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,000 figured out and he was interested and intrigued by it. 582 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,080 Yeah, that's. Cool. 583 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,160 Well, so now he, he's like, I've told him that I felt like not 584 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,360 good. And then he's like, OK, well, I 585 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,600 like you and I want to change that and I want you to feel 586 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,040 good. Wow, these are really advanced 587 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,320 conversations. I know, and you know, that was 588 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,160 only like date 4. So now in the future to like 589 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,360 move forward, like he knows that like I need this thing. 590 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,600 He's like, let's make it happen, is what he said, which is also 591 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,520 not, I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction, you know, but 592 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,200 like also that was a positive sign. 593 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,280 Yeah, that's a very positive. Reaction. 594 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,440 Yeah to how they respond to my feedback. 595 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:15,960 My grading group wreck. Damn. 596 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,720 The OK, that's great. It's good. 597 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,400 I'm I'm glad. Isn't that insane? 598 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,040 Yeah, like a little bit. Insane. 599 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,960 I'm really glad that you already have an example of like how it's 600 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,480 served you. I wasn't ready to have that 601 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,760 example until like last. I didn't even know. 602 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,480 Yeah, like it just happened organically. 603 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,640 It's kind of cool. Yeah, I mean, I have another 604 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,720 example as well of this rubric. I was dating a guy for about 605 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:45,800 like four months most recently and you had to like take a 606 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,760 second to be like computing computing. 607 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,720 Who's she talking about? No names. 608 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,360 No names will be named. But I know who. 609 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,160 It is, but she knows who it is. So jealous. 610 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,960 I'm just kidding, but I mean, it's sister privilege. 611 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,720 It's sister, sister, sister, sister, sister privilege. 612 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,640 Yes, that's right, sister, client privilege. 613 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:10,920 And this guy is like basically perfect in all things stability. 614 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:16,280 I felt so cared for all the time like it was chocolates, flowers, 615 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,440 dropping off chicken soup that he made when I was sick. 616 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:23,440 Like this guy is like an. Angel, I was very impressed by 617 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,760 that. Yes, and as was I Oh my God, so 618 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,400 thoughtful dropping me off dinner. 619 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,639 Like I felt incredibly cared for. 620 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,480 But I think at the end of the day, there was a lot of 621 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,639 stability, but I didn't feel like there was enough juice 622 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:39,880 between us and like the stuff that we were talking about. 623 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,679 So in that way, like it wasn't very compatible. 624 00:34:42,679 --> 00:34:46,040 He's like incredibly generous and nice and thoughtful and I 625 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,719 have nothing but good things to say about him. 626 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,679 But I think in terms of just compatibility, like it didn't 627 00:34:52,679 --> 00:34:55,280 work out for the long term. That's also kind of why the 628 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,400 rubric started because I was just like, this guy is amazing. 629 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:03,800 Like the ultimate gentleman. The like made me feel so safe 630 00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,800 all the time. I'm like, what's wrong with me? 631 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,440 I was like, why don't I like him more? 632 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,160 He's perfect, which is really tragic. 633 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,280 So and I don't think you can like force chemistry obviously 634 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,120 or like force juice. So that's actually the origin of 635 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,320 where I got this formula from. I needed to figure it out. 636 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,360 I was like, what else is important to me if he's 637 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,000 everything that I've ever asked for? 638 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,600 She did a root cause analysis, Oh my God. 639 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:32,440 Which is what we call, which is like what it's called in tech 640 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:36,240 when like after you launch a product and there's some sort of 641 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:40,320 issue, you kind of do like a root cause analysis to like go 642 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,440 all the way, all the way deep and like go like all the way 643 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,800 backwards in every single step you took to build that product 644 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,920 and figure out like what was the cause. 645 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,520 Also known in therapy as a presenting problem. 646 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,160 Because I went to my therapy. I went like I started going to 647 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,360 therapy again and I haven't been in like 4 years. 648 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,560 Because I was like. Therapist help. 649 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,440 I know we've. Talked in a long time, but. 650 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,560 I cannot figure this out on my own. 651 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,520 And you are much smarter than me, you know, and perceptive. 652 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,240 And so it was that like, there's nothing wrong with me, it's just 653 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:13,240 that I didn't realize there are other parts of the formula that 654 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:17,720 were equally as important. Yeah, or verbalize it, I mean, 655 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,440 yeah, you hadn't come up with a formula yet. 656 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:24,600 And then also I think as a result of your most recent 657 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:29,040 relationship before that you had over indexed towards stability 658 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:33,480 because that was the number one thing that was missing from the 659 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,440 previous relationship. Yes. 660 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,800 So that is kind of interesting. So I've learned all of my past 661 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,680 relationships literally in my entire life have had a lot of 662 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:46,000 chemistry and have been like super entertaining and fun and 663 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,400 like, they're just like really smart people. 664 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,080 We have a lot to talk about. Yeah. 665 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,320 But I just didn't feel that stability element like, and 666 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,040 maybe it's because we were never like super serious in terms of 667 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,960 like, we're going to get married. 668 00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,840 Like I, I feel like none of my relationships ever got to like, 669 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,800 obviously the engagement conversation. 670 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,400 And so maybe it didn't need that stability element. 671 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:12,080 But yeah, all my relationships were very like fulfilling in the 672 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,280 mind, but not really the heart. I don't know. 673 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,400 Damn. You like that? 674 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,080 Yeah, it's just funny because you didn't mean to, but you 675 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,720 really RIP this guy. No, I'm just kidding. 676 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,680 You said a lot of very kind things about him. 677 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:35,040 Yeah, I think OK. For me, I don't have like as 678 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:39,760 structured an answer as you do. Sorry you haven't done 50 hours 679 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,360 of therapy to dig into what the hell is wrong with. 680 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,880 You I haven't done thousands of hours of therapy, but I still 681 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,360 have not come up with a formula. Maybe I can think about it that 682 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,920 way. It's an interesting exercise. 683 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,480 I think for all of us to be like, oh, if I had to come up 684 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,400 with a formula, what would it be? 685 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,680 Or like it's a good thing to react to for everyone because 686 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,560 like seeing your formula, then that's what will make everyone 687 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,080 else, including me, like think to be like, OK, how much do I 688 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,040 agree with like all of your components? 689 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,920 Which ones don't I agree with? Or it's a good? 690 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,000 Starting point. Also feel free to disagree, I'm 691 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,960 waiting for someone in the comments to be like ick a 692 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,000 formula. You can't put a formula on love. 693 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,320 Love is natural and I'm like bitch, I tried the natural way. 694 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:25,960 It's all working. Well, I mean, also I'd be very 695 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,280 interested to know what your guys formula is. 696 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,800 You know, like I'm, it's not like we're like experts in love 697 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:34,440 and relationship, but we're happy to share all the things 698 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:38,160 that we've learned and like how we've processed it and like how 699 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,440 Cherie is approaching in the future. 700 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,600 So anything you want to share, we're very open to hearing it. 701 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,160 Yes, and as you know, Jean and I read every single comment and 702 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:50,440 please keep encouraging her to be vulnerable and to open up and 703 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:54,840 we see all the people who are thirsting after her actually in 704 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,240 the comments. So keep it going. 705 00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:57,280 OK, Thank you. Yes. 706 00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,320 OK. So what are my learnings? 707 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:06,280 I think so one, I'm coming at it from I'm seven years older than 708 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,080 Sheree. So just by definition, I have 709 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:13,680 had more experience and I've also had a very long 710 00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,440 relationship of eight years that ended last year. 711 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:22,920 So I think that's also like the main differentiating factor 712 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,840 between like our history is that I've had that like super long 713 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,640 relationship, you know, went through everything that got 714 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,120 engaged. Like thought that was the person 715 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:35,360 that was going to be my like forever life partner for a long 716 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,160 like thought that for a long time, quite a long time 717 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:42,480 actually. And I think like I, I don't know 718 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,000 if this is going to come across sounding really, really, really 719 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:52,400 basic, but I think my main learning from that was that it 720 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:59,800 kind of all goes back to your values and what your own values 721 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,600 are. Understanding the values of the 722 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,680 other person and then understanding what the 723 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:11,320 combination of those two are and how that plays out in a life 724 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,040 together. And like all of the sort of like 725 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,200 major life milestones and circumstances you may face. 726 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:24,440 So that's kind of like the. Broad strokes of it and it's not 727 00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,000 just that it's not just like understanding your own values, 728 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:35,640 but I think like really taking the the time and like annoying 729 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:40,800 like effort to sort of like interrogate that and like 730 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:44,000 interrogate yourself, really like interrogate yourself, 731 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:48,880 interrogate that person and then like interrogate that 732 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:54,240 combination and like really like hold it up to the light and like 733 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:57,640 cross examination and be like. Stress. 734 00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:01,560 Tested yeah, like yes, yes. Like does this really make 735 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:05,200 sense? Because I think it's so easy 736 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:09,000 like for me, I would consider myself to be a lover girl. 737 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:14,040 Like I antic. Yeah, I'm like very romantic. 738 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,320 Like I think it doesn't like present that way necessarily, 739 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:21,880 especially on this podcast because I because this podcast 740 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,440 is mostly about like professional stuff, but I am 741 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:28,520 like deeply romantic and. I feel like I don't know that 742 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:28,960 about. You. 743 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,320 Yeah, because like I feel like also like within our 744 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,000 relationship, I'm more of the big sister. 745 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,560 So like, I don't tell you everything, but you tell me 746 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:44,080 everything. I'll just get up and leave now. 747 00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:46,520 Excuse me? Well, it's just like you haven't 748 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,280 known me my whole life, but I've known you your whole life. 749 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:54,400 Oh, just keep punching me while I'm down. 750 00:41:54,480 --> 00:42:00,600 I got it. So, so, OK, So what I'm trying 751 00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:07,440 to get at is what am I trying to say is that I thought that like 752 00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:11,840 being deeply in love with someone and vice versa and also 753 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,840 like being best friends and like building up your life together 754 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,440 was the formula. Like I thought that that was all 755 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,800 that it took. But I think that like having 756 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:29,720 those sort of stress tests and like having those like 757 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:34,560 interrogation of the values early on, as early as possible 758 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,520 would have like really served me better. 759 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:45,520 I think a lot of it, I think it's having those conversations 760 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:50,120 and also seeing it play out in actions as well. 761 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:55,160 I think I am very gullible, which is why I've fallen for the 762 00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,960 juice, as they, as I say, and the chemistry in the past, you 763 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:00,560 know, like I think. It's trying to make juice 764 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,240 happen. It's juice once again. 765 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,840 I mean, it's just, you know, when you kind of are like 766 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:08,800 intoxicated and yeah, like fun and their banter and their wit, 767 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,920 it's just like, feels like high school. 768 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,440 And I think I, I'm very gullible and I get pulled into that 769 00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:17,320 having a stability arm, like Screech. 770 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,480 I was like, you might be a very good talker and you might be 771 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:23,320 very, like, charming, but like, I need to see action behind your 772 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,760 words. Like after we've interrogated 773 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,760 each other on like, oh, you say this is important to you. 774 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:32,920 Show me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 775 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,240 Is this OK if I bring up the book? 776 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:40,760 Sure it's related. OK, OK, and so there's a book. 777 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,360 So a person that I'm dating gifted me this book. 778 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:49,000 It's called 8 dates and it's like 8 dates to go on or 8 date 779 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,320 conversations to have. I've only gone on like a couple 780 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,840 dates with this person, so getting a book is kind of. 781 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,920 Is this him giving you his formula? 782 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,480 Oh, maybe. But it's, but it's in the in, 783 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:04,920 it's a whole book. It's a whole. 784 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,600 This is a lot of work. Yeah, it's a little bit like 785 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,240 homework, but it's interesting because I, I just started 786 00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:14,160 reading this book and there's all these different chapters. 787 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,400 I see there's something written on the first page. 788 00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,080 There's a message for her. Just kidding, you can't see it. 789 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,160 It's a personal message from this person that. 790 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,240 I can I see it later. Yeah, I'll show it to you, 791 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:26,400 sister to sister. Privilege. 792 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:30,280 Sorry guys, but you know how it is like you wrote me a personal 793 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,040 message, but these are to your point about interrogating a 794 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,880 person. The whole philosophy about this 795 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,640 book is that there are 8 dates, 8 conversation topics you should 796 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:43,560 have and it's whether you're in a relationship now or like marry 797 00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,040 like it for all stages. Like these are things you should 798 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:51,880 talk about to set, you know, ground, understanding and also 799 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,440 come together reignite whatever. But here are the different 800 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:58,720 dates, and if things come up that you disagree with, there's 801 00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:01,600 like a manual of how you're supposed to talk about it 802 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,440 actually. So the first one is how you guys 803 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:05,760 think about trust and commitment. 804 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,640 The second is how you guys address conflict. 805 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:10,640 The third is on sex and intimacy. 806 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,640 But but how are these dates? Or they're like topics to talk 807 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,320 about on each date. Exactly. 808 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,280 Oh my God. Yes, and the fourth is the cost 809 00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,000 of love, work and money. How you guys think about that? 810 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:26,600 Date 5 is family, date six is fun and adventure, date 7 is 811 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:30,400 growth and spirituality, and date 8 is about your dreams 812 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,760 together. And so like you're supposed to, 813 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:36,080 I mean, in the beginning, in the prologue, it's just like, this 814 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,320 is how you're supposed to have a date. 815 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,600 It doesn't have to be an expensive dinner date or 816 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:41,000 anything. It could be a walk in the park, 817 00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:45,360 but both be intentional and set time aside to talk about these 818 00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,000 things. And it like literally gives you 819 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,880 this. Is some real Stanford GSP shit 820 00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:51,840 here? Why I? 821 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:58,000 Mean, What does that mean? It's good if you're on the same 822 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,400 page. I could imagine if you were 823 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:04,760 another person, a different person, and this person gave you 824 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:10,320 this book on date or whatever number of dates you've been on, 825 00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:13,560 like sub five. Like, I could see someone being 826 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,440 like, freaked out. Yeah. 827 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,560 And like, totally making fun of this person. 828 00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:21,480 But Can you imagine that like some of your girlfriends being 829 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,960 like, he gave me a buck? Like WTF? 830 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,240 Like he gave you this is this is like basically a couples 831 00:46:28,240 --> 00:46:29,840 counseling. Book it is It is a couples 832 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:30,880 counseling. These are not real. 833 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:34,720 They're just using the word date as like a marketing slash, like 834 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:38,960 a mechanism. But this is like truly like 835 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,240 couples counseling. This is very advanced. 836 00:46:41,240 --> 00:46:43,280 Unfortunately, it's worked on me. 837 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,080 The book. I mean, I like this, the book 838 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,600 tact. Well, the book it's. 839 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,960 Well, 'cause I'm all, I'm all about like self growth and 840 00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:51,880 learning. And I'm like, yeah. 841 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,560 Interesting. It is interesting. 842 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,840 It is interesting. And what it tells me is that 843 00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,640 this person is very intentional about dating you. 844 00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:04,280 Yeah, they're like, let's skip straight to the premarital 845 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,160 counseling. Oh, my God, You're right. 846 00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:11,080 This this person is, he's interrogating straight away. 847 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:12,520 You're right. Oh my God. 848 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:13,520 And I didn't. Realize it. 849 00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,440 I didn't even think of that, but this is what he's doing. 850 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:21,360 He's like initiating the mutual and self interrogation. 851 00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,280 Yeah, right off the bat. Are you scared for me? 852 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,680 No, I think you kind of like this shit. 853 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,480 Yeah, I do. This is very, you know, touchy 854 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:34,640 feely. Yes. 855 00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:38,200 And actually this person, which is the Stanford Graduate School 856 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:43,320 of Business class that is like famous, Yeah, where people who 857 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,160 are students, like, learn how to. 858 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,240 Talk about interpersonal dynamics and relationships. 859 00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:51,760 And like, if I'm having a problem, how do I express it to 860 00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,280 you? How do I make sure that you feel 861 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,560 heard all this? Stuff it's their most famous 862 00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:57,400 class. Yes. 863 00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:01,240 And I think I see how it's affected you. 864 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:02,400 Really. Yeah. 865 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:08,520 Wait, did I ever tell you that? So one of my ex boyfriends went 866 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:15,280 to Stanford GSB and he told me this was like back in like 2012 867 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,880 or 13. He like sent me notes from this 868 00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,240 class and was like, this class changed my life. 869 00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:22,760 Wow. He was like, you would love this 870 00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,880 class? Like it changed my life, full 871 00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:26,800 stop. Yeah. 872 00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,200 And that was why I wanted to go to GSB. 873 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:40,760 We'll see how that turned out. She was rejected from GSB but I 874 00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:44,000 went and she got to live vicariously through my tabs. 875 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,920 And she was rejected from Goldman Sachs twice. 876 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,520 She was rejected from Goldman Sachs twice. 877 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:53,240 She was rejected from Stanford School of Business once. 878 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,240 But look at her now. Look at her now. 879 00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:59,080 But you know what? I might go back and be a 880 00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:00,680 lecturer. Yeah, be a professor. 881 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:03,000 Yeah, one of my good friends is now a lecturer. 882 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,720 There, Yeah, which is so cool. She. 883 00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:07,200 Teaches a class at the GSP. It'd be fun. 884 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:09,560 It'd be fun to Co teach a class me and you. 885 00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,600 Whoa. Tiger Sisters takes. 886 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,160 Yeah. Academia. 887 00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,720 That could be really fun. That could be cool. 888 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,920 It would just be this. It would literally just be this. 889 00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:23,640 Just sit at the front and I'd be like, shoot the shit. 890 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:27,400 Hey kids, you want to know about dating your formula, the little 891 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:29,000 rascals? Although honestly, they would be 892 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,400 like into that, yeah, as a class, yeah, if you wanted to, I 893 00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,280 bet if you like proposed a class that included elements of like 894 00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,520 relationship and dating in long term, like they would be into 895 00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:39,840 that. I mean, it's funny that a lot of 896 00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:44,720 the classes that I've actually taken at Stanford were so based 897 00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:49,680 around, like, life planning. Yeah, they have many classes 898 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:50,680 there. It's not even a joke. 899 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:53,400 We didn't have that at all at HBS. 900 00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,520 We have life planning, like what happens? 901 00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,840 I mean, you know, there's also a part of life planning is also 902 00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:59,800 like the accounting and finance part of it. 903 00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,320 There's like, oh, how do you create a trust for your family 904 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,120 like that stuff as well? Amazing. 905 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:05,480 Yeah. I wish we had that. 906 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:09,960 Yeah, we we did do an exercise where we wrote a tenure letter 907 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:14,080 to ourselves. That I will open in like 2 908 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,520 years. But this past weekend, like one 909 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:20,640 of my girlfriends at in Sonoma brought up she was like, God, 910 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:24,000 this like 10 year letter. She's like, I'm just going to I 911 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,480 know I'm just going to like RIP myself apart when I open it 912 00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,840 because, well, not in like a joking way, but she was like, it 913 00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:35,680 probably says like you're a billionaire who has like exited 914 00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:41,720 5 companies and like you live on the shore of you know, like the, 915 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:46,280 the Floribama shore with your like seven children. 916 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:52,600 Like she was just kind of like starry eyed yeah, yeah And she 917 00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:57,120 was the other a girlfriend who is a professor at GSB now. 918 00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,240 She was just saying, like, the main thing that she's noticed 919 00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:03,720 about the students is that they are so starry eyed and 920 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:07,720 optimistic. And she's like, I love that. 921 00:51:07,720 --> 00:51:10,000 But also that's what we were like, yeah. 922 00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,040 She was like, life's going to come at you fast. 923 00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:16,160 I was watching our previous dating episode in preparation 924 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:19,480 for this one, and something that you said was that you were 925 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,960 hoping to meet someone like organically, like natural in 926 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,080 real life, and you weren't using the dating apps. 927 00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,080 How has that changed? Well. 928 00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:31,800 I do still hope to meet someone naturally, or I kind of just 929 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:33,760 think that that's what's in the cards for me. 930 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:38,360 But one of the sort of like New Year's resolutions I'd given 931 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:42,160 myself. Well, as you guys may remember, 932 00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:47,320 I make like every year like a list of goals that I have. 933 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,480 And they could be like some really small goals or some are 934 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:52,240 stretch goals. And it's called like the list is 935 00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:55,240 usually called like, you know, 35 things to do all 35 or 936 00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:56,840 whatever. But then I actually write like 937 00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,640 70 things. So then if I achieve half of 938 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:03,360 them, then it's 100%. Just a little bit of a little 939 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,000 hands, just a little insight into how my mind works. 940 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:11,560 It's sick in there, but one of the ones was I was like, OK, I 941 00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:15,720 am going to like be on a dating app. 942 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:18,280 I'm going to download a dating app, make a profile and just 943 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:25,120 like be there because I think that like even if the you're 944 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,440 even if you don't ultimately meet someone on a dating app, I 945 00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:32,240 think it's about like kind of like getting into the groove of 946 00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:39,040 dating again. And so downloaded Hinge. 947 00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:44,120 So that's where I've started and I just feel like it, it's like 948 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,880 it's a mixed bag. OK, so one thing I'll say. 949 00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,960 So first of all, I haven't been on Hinge in like 10 years and 950 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,800 the premise has totally changed. Hinge used to be, it was called 951 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:58,240 Hinge because you were connected with people who you had friends 952 00:52:58,240 --> 00:53:00,840 of friends in common with. That was the whole premise 953 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:02,520 behind the entire app and the whole name. 954 00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:07,000 And like why it was useful because it was through a 955 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,720 connection you had. Anyway, that's totally out the 956 00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:11,360 door. So it's like basically. 957 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:15,440 Unintended. Yeah, the hinge is gone. 958 00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,360 Yes, the door, it's off the rails. 959 00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,200 There's no, there's zero hinge. It's non hinged. 960 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,440 It's unhinged. It's unhinged. 961 00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,320 God, that's good. That's the other name for our 962 00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:27,240 podcast. Well, just for the dating 963 00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:28,600 episodes. Yeah, true. 964 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:33,040 It's basically the equivalent of like what Tinder was 10 years 965 00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:36,160 ago, and like everyone 10 years ago was like Tinder's, the crazy 966 00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,160 app where you could be connected with anybody. 967 00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,240 And that's what Hinge is now. It's the same thing. 968 00:53:40,240 --> 00:53:42,520 That's true, member. Yeah. 969 00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:44,640 The vibe is. Over it. 970 00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:46,040 People say Tinder is for hooking up. 971 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:47,920 I don't think Hinge is really for hooking up. 972 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:49,240 I guess not. I don't know. 973 00:53:49,240 --> 00:53:54,200 But like what it feels like to me using Hinge is this is what I 974 00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:58,080 told my girlfriends. It's as if you were to like, 975 00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:03,400 walk into the middle of Times Square in New York City, stand 976 00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:07,960 there, and then talk to every single man or woman, but 977 00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:12,440 whatever your flavor crossed your path and then, like, 978 00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:16,960 consider them as an eligible romantic prospect. 979 00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,520 Well, if you pay for Hinge you can also put in filters. 980 00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,400 Though the filters are not. Filtering. 981 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,760 Filter enough. There's not enough parameters. 982 00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:25,680 Oh, really? Yeah. 983 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:29,640 What would you add? Well, there's the friend 984 00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,760 element. There's just like. 985 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:33,920 Connection. Yeah, so. 986 00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:36,200 I think that doesn't work in their favor 'cause then it like 987 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,920 shrinks the people that they can show you. 988 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,280 But I mean, it doesn't work in their favor because they want to 989 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:46,040 keep you on the app, right? But it would work in the favor 990 00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:50,880 of the customer because then you can have like a, a better set 991 00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,920 for of consideration. I mean like, let's be real, like 992 00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,240 the the incentives of the people that run the app. 993 00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,040 Or to keep you on the app. Yeah, they don't. 994 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:01,920 They don't. Want you to find love. 995 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:03,680 They say they do, but they don't want to. 996 00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:07,560 I'm laughing. I I'm laughing because I I as I 997 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:14,000 say this my like my like old Co workers like actually run match 998 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,000 group and hint. Well, if you're listening, we 999 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:20,440 have some feedback so. But actually that's what people 1000 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,680 say, not to bring the professional element in here, 1001 00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:26,320 but this really famous investor named Andrew Chen from A16Z, he 1002 00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:30,680 says he will never invest in dating apps because the model is 1003 00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:34,200 completely messed up. Where like the outcomes of of 1004 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,280 the customers, the positive outcomes lead to less time spent 1005 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,680 on the app. So he will never invest in a 1006 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:42,920 dating company. Yeah, not to bring in. 1007 00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:46,120 The professional answer this dating episode. 1008 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,080 She had to talk about an investor. 1009 00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:50,760 I had to talk about a 16Z. What is this threads? 1010 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:55,720 What is this Twitter? OK, so that's how the apps like 1011 00:55:55,920 --> 00:56:00,760 feel like to me. But I think it's still a good 1012 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:07,200 and healthy exercise for me to start to do, and I'm going to 1013 00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,400 just kind of like take it as it is. 1014 00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:11,360 Yeah. Do you think you're going to 1015 00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:14,280 look in other cities? Because I know Hinge, you can 1016 00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,640 set your destination and other places. 1017 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,120 Because I think LA is a little bit tough, quite honestly. 1018 00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,120 Because it is more like entertainment, like Bend to the 1019 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,800 industry, like everyone works in entertainment, talks about a 1020 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,480 certain thing, works in entertainment. 1021 00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:30,760 Yeah. Singer-songwriter. 1022 00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:34,720 Well, when I went to Sonoma this weekend, I did like set the 1023 00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:38,600 change the setting like just for shits and giggles to like pack 1024 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:44,680 heights and like the the app is like there's like hundreds of 1025 00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:47,600 like hearts now. Like I can't even go through 1026 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:48,760 them. Like I can't. 1027 00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:51,440 She has a, she has a backlog guys. 1028 00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,440 So if you. How did Gene recently? 1029 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,080 Don't take it personally if she doesn't. 1030 00:56:56,240 --> 00:57:00,160 Get to you yet, It actually is. I should probably take some sort 1031 00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:04,720 of learning from this, but like it's shocking how or maybe 1032 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:06,960 because I like made the parameters wider, I don't know. 1033 00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:10,520 But it does bring to question some sort of like product market 1034 00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:13,520 fit question? I what you mean with you? 1035 00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:15,920 Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's. 1036 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:17,520 The product. Yes. 1037 00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:24,240 No, I think I mean SF is a different type of person for 1038 00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,400 sure. Yeah, I mean, just historically, 1039 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:31,880 San Francisco and New York City are much more professional 1040 00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,320 cities. Yeah, San Francisco, like, even 1041 00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:37,040 by far. Because like, what else is the 1042 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:42,360 the city known for aside from basically like tech, Tech people 1043 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,280 who work in tech? Because in New York City there's 1044 00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,720 a lot of like, artists still. There's a lot of like people who 1045 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,040 work in fashion. Well, that's professional, but 1046 00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:50,280 yeah, I see your point. Yeah, yeah. 1047 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:54,880 Versus like it on top of the base, that is fine, it's true. 1048 00:57:55,200 --> 00:58:00,840 But in San Francisco, I think it's like the base is tech and 1049 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:02,520 like, I don't know what else you would say. 1050 00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,880 It's like sprinkled on top of that. 1051 00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,760 Also, the ratio works in the favor of women in San Francisco, 1052 00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:11,400 whereas I've heard in New York there is way more women than 1053 00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,160 men. I don't know. 1054 00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:14,920 I just I was done fine in New York. 1055 00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:19,840 Yeah, 15 years ago. I enjoyed New York. 1056 00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:26,440 Yeah, 22 year old Jean enjoy New York. 1057 00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:29,640 So should I wrap up? Yeah, yeah. 1058 00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:31,960 What are your your finishing thoughts? 1059 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:33,960 Hi. Sorry, I didn't. 1060 00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,520 I didn't mean this high so dramatically. 1061 00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,480 That was not planned. But I guess that's kind of how I 1062 00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:43,000 feel where it's a mix of feeling hopeful and really excited about 1063 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:44,320 the future. Yeah. 1064 00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:50,520 Because like, there's nothing like being in, I don't know, the 1065 00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:52,920 beginning stages of what could be love. 1066 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:54,960 Like I think that what a beautiful time. 1067 00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,640 Yeah, that's true. Yeah. 1068 00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:59,080 One of the things I said to my girlfriends this weekend, who is 1069 00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:04,080 also sort of like newishly single, is that like, what is 1070 00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:07,680 exciting is that we get to, like, go through that experience 1071 00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:11,880 again of falling in love and like all of the, like, 1072 00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:16,240 everything that comes with it. And it's like, I guess I never 1073 00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:18,520 thought I was going to experience that again. 1074 00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:23,000 And it is a really like, it's the spice of life. 1075 00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:26,520 It's so beautiful. It's the, it's the, it's the 1076 00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,720 everything. It's like the, that feeling. 1077 00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:32,680 It's the juice of life. Look who's the juice now? 1078 00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:34,120 It's the, I'm trying to help her out. 1079 00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:38,000 It's the juice of it's what makes life juicy, you know? 1080 00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:39,560 What a fun feeling. It's not even fun. 1081 00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,280 It's fun. It's just like, beautiful. 1082 00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:45,320 It's exhilarating, the arc of like hope and like everything 1083 00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:51,400 and like projecting forward and before the interrogation, before 1084 00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,240 you interrogate, well, I. Told you guys see I this is how 1085 00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:55,680 you. Can this is how you know I'm a 1086 00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:59,240 romantic because these are like the things that like I think of 1087 00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:03,040 and I'm like excited about, but you know, balance it with some 1088 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,800 interrogation, self interrogation, mutual 1089 01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:11,440 interrogation and then. Yes, so I feel hopeful for all 1090 01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,640 of that stuff and at the same time, not to be a downer, but 1091 01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:17,040 like sometimes, I mean, as you can tell, like feeling a little 1092 01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,680 hopeless. And I don't think that's a bad 1093 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:21,840 thing. Like I, I mean, of course I have 1094 01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:24,880 the existential dread that I'm like, Oh my God, maybe I'll be 1095 01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,720 single forever or like a very long time. 1096 01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,520 And then that like sits with me, you know, like I, I would be 1097 01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:34,560 lying if I said I wasn't there. But then at the end of the day, 1098 01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:37,280 I guess I don't feel that bad. Like I think maybe deep down I'm 1099 01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:38,560 like quite sad about that thought. 1100 01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:42,920 But like if I were alone for the rest of my life, like I have a 1101 01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:44,480 lot of fun with myself. I don't. 1102 01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:49,480 Know like I love so many different activities and things 1103 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:51,520 that I do. I really enjoy life. 1104 01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,880 I enjoy like food and like, would it be that bad to be with 1105 01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,520 myself? No, like I've already done all 1106 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:59,960 the work to be by myself and I love my alone time. 1107 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:01,840 And that doesn't mean like, I want to be alone forever, but 1108 01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:04,760 like, and she's a really good cook. 1109 01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:11,080 I can survive. You would eat well yes I 40 1110 01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:14,080 fruits and veggies every week but. 1111 01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:16,160 So I don't. Know it's kind of balancing both 1112 01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:21,400 and if you guys feel similarly, please let me know because it 1113 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,640 can feel a bit lonely, but I don't know it's a mix. 1114 01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,200 I think that's maybe that's what the juice of life is is like 1115 01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:31,640 being able to hold both at the same time being hopeful and also 1116 01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:33,440 hopeless. Oh, I thought you were saying 1117 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,520 like having. Your, like, independence and all 1118 01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:40,160 the things that make you you and being happy, but then also being 1119 01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,400 able to, like, combine that with someone else's. 1120 01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:46,160 It's probably both too, yeah. I think maybe that's what like 1121 01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:48,520 life is about. It's about holding both at the 1122 01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:52,160 same time. Yeah, what both is is up to 1123 01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:53,280 your. Interpretation. 1124 01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,920 Both of that and both of this, yeah. 1125 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,800 OK. Yeah, I just remember there's 1126 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:02,560 like so many other topics that we didn't get to today. 1127 01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,800 We should totally do a second topic because I think that 1128 01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:09,400 there's a lot more sort of like practical advice or like stuff 1129 01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,200 that we can talk about. Like I didn't even, I meant to 1130 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:14,760 talk about, but I didn't even get to talking about like egg 1131 01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:16,960 freezing. I think like that. 1132 01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,400 I'm just thinking about that. I think we should do an. 1133 01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:23,200 Entire episode on like what is egg freezing? 1134 01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,520 Should you egg freeze? Should you freeze your eggs? 1135 01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:28,320 Practical steps like biggest regrets. 1136 01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:32,200 Oh, it's not too late, but it's one of my biggest regrets 1137 01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:34,880 because I don't have. Corporate funding from. 1138 01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:42,000 Yeah, well, I've heard different advice on that, so we can tackle 1139 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:46,920 that next time and maybe I can let you know why you don't need 1140 01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:48,640 to be regretful. Oh, thanks. 1141 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:51,920 But I won't I. Won't tell you until the next 1142 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,320 episode. Sit with that. 1143 01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:55,680 So stay tuned, we have a lot more. 1144 01:02:55,680 --> 01:02:58,720 To discuss and if you guys have any ideas or thoughts or 1145 01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,400 comments, please leave them below and maybe we'll 1146 01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:04,120 incorporate them into next episodes. 1147 01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,640 Mailbox. Please stay tuned for the rest 1148 01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:10,520 of season 3 of Tiger Sisters. We have some incredible 1149 01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:14,080 interviews with our guests and Gina and I do takeaways and 1150 01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:17,560 learnings with those episodes and we're so good sprinkling in 1151 01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:21,600 some special episodes like this one and open to any other. 1152 01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,680 Topics that you have. OK, thank you guys so much for 1153 01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,520 being here. As always, please like, comment 1154 01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:29,680 and subscribe and rate US five stars. 1155 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:33,240 Leave a review. We love to hear from you guys. 1156 01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:36,920 And until next time, bye bye.