We are the first women in our bloodline to be single at this
age and living alone. Is the most rebellious archetype
that we have today the successful single woman?
Over the last 10 years, the number of single people around
the globe have increased by over 100 million.
That is a staggering number. I don't even know what to do
with that. So the pandemic is responsible
for the decline in quality of men.
Is that what we're saying? I'm going to be taking you
through how a recession works and how societies work so that
you actually don't have to be depressed about the fact that
we're in a relationship recession.
You really are the biggest nerd. I'm Cherie.
I'm Jean and. We're the Tiger sisters.
We are your Wall Street and Silicon Valley Big Sisters.
And we're a top business podcast on Spotify, bringing you late
night sister talk meets boardroom strategy.
This is the first time in history that there are more
single people than ever. Yeah, we are in a relationship
recession. There are so many single people.
I'm one of them. In today's episode, we're going
to investigate this relationship recession like we are more
financially free than ever before as women.
But are we happy? And we're going to give you
tools so that you can decenter romantic relationships in your
life and actually live your life fully and freely without being
an appendage to a man. Let's get into it.
According to The Economist, among Americans ages 25 to 34,
the proportion living without a spouse or a partner has doubled
in the last five decades, to 50% for men and 41% for women.
That's insane. That's.
Insane. As women, we have more financial
freedom than ever before. But the question is, are we
happy? Because in history, there's
always been this archetype of how a woman should be.
There's been like the housewife, the original OG housewife, the
counterculture hippie, also recently the girl boss, which we
know all too well. And most recently, we've like
circled back to trad wife. Yeah.
I mean, I'm going to push back a little bit on that because I
think, yes, there are all these sort of different sort of brief
archetypes. But I think there's one
underlying archetype that has always existed in history and
it's kind of like always expected of women, and that's to
be the mother, the stay at home mom, the sort of like nurturing
presence in everyone's life. I mean, like the emotion that
I'm having right now is like one of anger.
Like I just feel like pissed off.
Because when you think about the archetypes that a woman has,
it's like what you just named. But then when you think about
traditional archetypes for men, they are, you know, the
provider, they make money. But like making money in this
day and age, like men and women can make money.
But then the responsibilities that you named like a lot of
like childcare, child rearing, literally birthing a child, like
that's still biologically like the onus is on the woman, but
now she also needs to balance that with all the other
responsibilities of making money and providing as well.
Right, exactly. So that's why the phrase like
having it all is always applied to women instead of them,
because women have multiple requirements to have it all.
Versus to be the archetypical super successful man, all you
have to do, not all you have to do, but yeah, all you have to do
is be really successful. Yeah.
Versus for a woman, you have to be really successful and all
these other. Things and a fabulous mother.
Yeah, yeah. So like, look, I'm pissed
because, like, that kind of comparison feels unfair.
But these days I'm like, kind of relieved and so grateful because
more than ever, women have financial freedom.
And financial freedom affords way more opportunities.
So women can make their own choices.
They don't have to feel stuck in a situation that they're, like,
forced into or have to stay in. So like, while I am kind of
pissed, I'm also like super grateful.
Yeah, I mean for the very first time in history we actually have
the legal rights and abilities to not adhere to that long
standing archetype. Today's episode is presented by
Sofi, the All in one finance app that helps you bank, borrow and
invest your money in one place. OK guys, so it is the season of
love Valentine's Day. If you guys haven't seen, I'm
shocked because if you walk into any drugstore or pharmacy, there
are Valentine's Day gifts and chocolates and Everything
Everywhere. Valentine's Day slash
Galentine's Day. Yes, and fun fact, Galentine's
Day was actually coined by Amy Poehler's character in Parks and
Rec as a day to celebrate your female relationships.
What's? Galentine's Day.
Oh, it's. Only the best day of the year.
Amy Poehler, only our best friend and.
Idol. Only our bestie, our fellow.
She's our colleague. Our colleague, our fellow
podcaster. But that's when she was in Parks
and Rec. Leslie.
Nope. Shout out.
I love that we're talking about Valentine's Day and Galentine's
Day because it takes 4th wave feminism to another level.
And I have so much to say about. That we're going to totally dive
into that and also it's like this idea that like Valentine's
Day is not only just for you and your partner.
Now we have Galentine's Day where you're able to celebrate
with your girlfriends and really have a bit of both.
OK I have some facts about the 1st and 2nd waves of feminism.
So first wave feminism 1920 to 1940s.
We literally got the right to personhood.
Crazy. OK.
Is that Can you believe? It's not even that long ago.
Let's be real, it's not. That long ago, it's less than
100 years ago. So we had the right to vote.
We had access to education and property rights, yes.
So thanks I guess. I mean, I did do a project on
the suffragettes when I was in middle school.
Oh wait, is that when you won the history?
Fair no the hit. That was a different time guys.
But I did win my 8th grade history fair in social studies.
Different project on child labour, but anyways.
Anyways, OK, second wave was from the 60s to the 80s and it
focused on workplace discrimination, reproductive
rights, and then basically the division of power and labor
again in the workplace. Yeah, I think something crazy
that comes to mind that I always remember.
So I went to an all women's college, went to Barnard.
And so this was very much like, thanks for that.
This was very much part of my DNA in college.
But Barnard College is part of Columbia University.
And the reason why Barnard even exists is because women were not
allowed to attend universities with men.
It was not Co Ed, it was only for men.
So you had to make all women colleges.
And I was in the 70s that Columbia University only started
admitting women. It's, it's wild.
It's wild. I know.
I mean, it's in many, many people's lifetimes.
Yeah, it's in most people's lifetimes.
In most people's lifetimes who are alive today?
Yeah. Shit.
So we've come. We've come a long way to where
we are today. Yeah.
And so in second wave feminism, we actually have some really
important figures to thank, such as Betty Friedan, who wrote The
Feminine Mystique. And her entire idea was the fact
that it was really pushing back against this sort of cultural
norm that women were most satisfied by being in the home
and raising families. That's a crazy assumption now
looking back on it. But I guess moving forward to
the third wave of feminism, and this is the 1990s to 20 tens,
where women now have basic legal rights and personhood and
humanhood. But we're pushing against this
idea that there is one single archetype of what a woman is.
And so bringing in things like intersectionality and also
discussions around race, class and sexuality, gender identity,
like those all combined together makes up an entire woman.
And then to wrap up our mini history lesson, that all brings
us back to the original premise of this episode.
The question of how now that we're in the 4th wave of
feminism and we can sort of choose our own archetypes or
push back against the prevailing archetype, is that something
that is actually positive for us as women?
Or does it just give us even more pressure because we're
expected to be more than just, you know, what society has set
us up to be? It's.
A complex issue. It's super nuanced and we're so
excited that you guys have tuned in Tiger Fam to talk about it.
We do have a case study for you guys of an example we're going
to dig into. But before we do that, we do
want to kind of ask, is this interesting to you guys?
Like do you like, you know, we're always doing
experimentation on Tiger Sisters.
So this is another experiment where we're doing kind of more
op-ed style episode where we are really challenging ourselves to
bring more of our full selves to Tiger Sisters and kind of be
just more candid and honest with our true opinions on a lot of
different new topics. Yeah, So let us know in the
comments what you guys think. Are you digging this topic?
Are you digging this format? And we'd love to hear from you.
OK, so this next section is we're going to talk about a case
study and that's of Whitney Wolf Hurd, the Co founder and CEO of
Bumble. And actually I've seen her speak
in person at Stanford GSB. She came into two things like 1.
I had a class where she was literally like 20 feet away from
me and she talked about the founding of Bumble and all the
things that went into that. It was a very tumultuous journey
in the beginning, as all startups are.
And then also she came for like a larger Stanford like
auditorium discussion. So it was cool seeing her in
both forums. But Whitney Wolf heard some
could argue, is the original girl boss.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I see why you chose her
as a case study because she not only brought her company public
and is obviously extremely famous for that, but the way
that she did it and the sort of visual of it is that when she
rang the bell, like the NASDAQ bell, right, she had her 18
month old son on her hip. Yeah, so she was the world's
youngest female billionaire and also the youngest woman to take
a company. Public, which in and of itself
is obviously insane. Like an incredible
accomplishment that is just first of its kind.
But I also think that the media really sort of like leaned into
this idea of her and gave her so much attention because she still
fulfilled the archetype of being an intelligent, beautiful woman
who was also a mother. And like, she really showcased
that in the public eye. She never hid that.
She leaned into that identity. Very.
Fully, yeah. And I remember just being early
in my career, like as a new grad, like seeing this happen
and being like, not only just me, but other women.
And at my tech company where I was working at LinkedIn, we're
all just like, my God, this is what it could be.
You could be this beautiful, you could be this brilliant, and you
could be this entrepreneurial and you have kids too, and could
do it all at the same time. I think in the back of my head
we were like, that's incredible. But also like you good.
Like, that's a lot of responsibility in every single
facet of your life. Yeah, she kind of set like the
new bar God for women. Oh right, To be all of those
things at the same time. To be like the top 1% of like
everything. Yeah, I mean, but what we'll
never know is her sort of like inner sentiment?
Like, did she girl boss too close to the sun?
Like back to your question, Like, you good?
Like, was she happy? Was she fulfilled?
I I wish we could ask her like, are you happy with the way that
everything kind of like Shook? Out Whitney Whitney Whitney Are
you happy with how everything shook out?
We'd love to know because you are are from the outside.
It's kind of like social media, you know, like people look like
they have amazing lives and you're like, wow, you, you know,
took this company public. It's absolutely incredible.
And you see like the social media highlights, but I'm like
the behind the scenes, like how was it really?
And like is it attainable for like, should we all be aspiring
to do this in the way that you are doing it because you are so
happy and perfect looking? She set a new standard for women
around the world. Possibly unachievable.
Possibly. Unlikely, yeah.
Possibly unattainable. So, you know, it's complex.
So what I think is really interesting and like the idea of
girl bossing too close to the sun, like in the like 20 tens to
like 20 twenties, like we were all working so freaking hard in
our corporate jobs. You know, we're well educated,
we're making money for ourselves and we're just like pushing
ourselves at at work. We're like going to work with a
huge bag with like a change of shoes in the bag and then like
remember we had to wear like day to night outfits where it's like
for work, but then you have to go out.
Remember those all those articles anyways?
Or like how to make those Aritzia pants from daytime to.
Nighttime Molina. I mean Molina.
Hurtless, but also like those like work pants, you know what I
mean? Those trousers that people are
wearing to work. But anyways, it's just like we
were working so hard at our like day jobs, 9:00 to 5:00 that like
a lot of people, a lot of women burned out.
And so like the question is, is like it's kind of the pendulum
is swing swung the other way where like we worked so hard.
We were very successful doing that.
And now it's just like, I'm tired.
I'm like, so tired. Like, I think a lot of women are
exhausted. Yeah, I mean, and I think that's
why we now have the sort of resurgence of this new
archetype, which is the trad wife.
So like the coming of ballerina farm of Nora Smith, Nora Smith.
And like the idea that as a woman, like you can really
control your your like homestead and like focus all your energy
on that. That's like really coming to
light again. Yeah.
Or it's like being, I mean, going into more like of the
traditional roles that like Betty Friedan was fighting
against, right? But it's just like how to be in
your feminine, how to be in your softness as a woman because we
were working so hard in our quote UN quote masculine
traditional role that like, you know, people are women are
exhausted and they want to like make sourdough at home now.
Yeah. Is this, is this 6th wave
feminism? What's what's happening?
Well, so I think what's interesting is that maybe it is
the 6th wave of feminism or like the next wave where, oh, wait,
5th wave anyways, the next wave of feminism that like we have
the ability to choose. And I think that is like a
really important like double underline is that like whether
you choose to be a girl boss and you know, work really hard
because that's what you find fulfilling in your life, or you
choose to be a trad wife quote, UN quote because you find that
fulfilling, you have the ability to choose and the financial
freedom to choose what you want to do.
Yeah, I think this is not a fully formed thought, but I
think what's also interesting is that we're in this age now where
everything you do is sort of projected to the world, right?
Like very many, very few people can live fully offline lives.
So it's almost like whatever you opt into, you're you're
projecting to the world. Yeah.
It's not just like an internal state, it's very much an express
state. Yeah, because it becomes part of
your identity. Yeah.
And your identity is shown in what you wear, what you do.
And all that stuff is then put onto social media in some way,
shape or form. And it's also who you surround
yourself with too, because it can be really hard if you are
the girl boss of your group and that's your choice.
But like the rest of your friend group does not subscribe to
that. And so that there's like a
tension of like, oh, you're working so hard.
What is it for? Or if like all your friends are
tried wives, then your girl boss friend is like kind of judging
you. So I think it can go both ways.
And so I don't know, it's really complex, but I think it's
amazing now at this point that women have the ability to choose
and should always have the ability to choose, like get your
own bag and make your own decisions.
And that sort of independence is liberating.
We talk a lot about money and tech on Tiger Sisters and
obviously crypto is a huge part of both.
Of those worlds, and my secret claim to fame is that I've
actually held Bitcoin since like 2012 or 2013.
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I totally agree that having the freedom of choice is overall
positive for women. But I think a really
interesting, almost like societal side effect of all of
that is that because so many women are putting their energy
into developing their careers or like whatever archetype they
choose, there's actually a lot more single people than ever
before because this sort of focus on relationships is not as
heavy as it was in previous generations.
So, you know, that brings us back to this idea of the
relationship recession that we're currently in.
And like sort of this question I have in my head where I'm like
is the most rebellious archetype that we have today the
successful single woman and. Last week, we even talked about
the male loneliness epidemic that we did, which is an
offshoot of this topic. And so the numbers don't lie.
Let's go through some of them. So Michael Rosenfeld, A
sociologist at Stanford, actually found the reduction in
dating was due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and it produced 13.7
million more singles in the US in 2022 than if the singlehood
rate had stayed at the level of 2017.
So just one more thing to blame on the pandemic.
Yeah, basically the pandemic was not good for anything.
So the pandemic is responsible for the decline in quality of
men, is that what we're saying? That's what Michael.
Rosenfeld. Is saying.
All right, Michael, I'll take you at your word.
I have another stat. So this is from a study in The
Economist from last November that reported on singles across
14 countries, OK. And so when polled, only 40%
said that they're not interested in being in a relationship, and
27 percent said that the reasons include being too busy, too old,
or because no one wants to date them.
So the take away there is that the majority of majority of
people still want to be in relationships.
Yeah, I like that your stat is global because this is a global
issue. Yeah, a generational issue,
Global. Audience.
Well, so it really effects everyone.
So the last. Step I want to add is that over
the last 10 years, the number of single people around the globe
have increased by over 100 million.
And that is a staggering number. I don't even know what to do
with that 100 million. Yeah, so my man is out there.
Yeah, your man, your single man is out there.
My man's is out there. Man's is out.
My man's. Is out there.
It's just one in 100 million. Yeah.
What's the big deal? Big deal.
That's a lot of dates you could go on, potentially a lot of
first dates you can go on. Oh.
My God, imagine you have to like chip away at it 1 by 1.
Yes, you got this. It's like, what did they say?
They're like a marathon starts with the first step.
There you go. So I really don't know what to
make of that 100 million stat because it's kind of confusing
because in pop culture recently in October, there was an article
that came out by Vogue that declared it was embarrassing to
have a boyfriend. And so in, you know, the pop
culture these days on Instagram, on TikTok, a lot of people are
discussing that's like, it's embarrassing to be partnered
these days, especially if you're partnered with someone who is
also embarrassing. So like Pete, there's a lot of
single people, but it's also embarrassing to have, you know,
a boyfriend. So what do we do?
Yeah, I mean, that article, it popped off so hard.
It was like. Everywhere waves.
For three months, yeah. Is it embarrassing to have a
boyfriend now? And I think a big part of that,
though, is kind of societal because over the last 10 years,
the number of women who have higher education degrees has
increased to over 50%. And the number of men who have
higher education degrees is sort of like middling or stuck at
39%. So I think, you know, typically
women want to marry people who are sort of like at the same
level of education as them. And there's just not that
equilibrium in all of society today.
Yeah, I think that's stat on education is really staggering.
And just like quite honestly, I just know personally I want to
marry someone at my level or better than me in education, in
hobbies, in everything. And like I love learning from my
partner. And so I just want them to be
better than me in every single regard, the same or better.
Than me, yeah. I mean, you want to be with
someone that you respect. That I respect and I can learn
from. And so I don't, I don't know
what to do with that. I think it's really hard.
Also, the pandemic was challenging because you know, in
those like two or three years, especially during and after,
it's just like people weren't socializing and like, what do we
do? Dating apps are hard.
I think people are perhaps like very, very picky on dating apps
shallow. I will speak from my own
experience, you know, height filters, that's not cool, but so
I think all these things just. Shallow.
What's that song?
Never mind. The Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga. Love cute Lady Gaga?
Editor please put in little Lady Gaga song just getting it's
licensed. So I think just so many factors
put together, it makes it really hard when we want to date up.
And I think often times a lot of the men or the the pool that
we're looking at, it's it doesn't really meet the mark.
I want to do something really nerdy here and actually take the
words relationship recession and actually dig into OK, I was an
econ major guys. So like I want to dig into like,
OK, what is the actual definition of a recession and
how does that apply to the concept of a relationship
recession? This is absolutely so nerdy and
I'm excited for you to do a supply and demand chart and show
us the curves of the chart. I don't know, let's get into it.
OK guys, I'm going to be taking you through how a recession
works and how societies work so that you actually don't have to
be depressed about the fact that we're in a relationship
recession. So what is a recession?
So by definition, it means that demand collapses, confidence
drops, and people stop investing in their futures.
So then what's the goal here? It's to get people to spend
again, take risks and start investing again.
OK, that all sounds good, but then how do you apply this to
relationships? Well, since today there are
fewer people pursuing relationships, we actually have
a bit of a confidence crisis on our hands.
In addition to confidence crisis, there's two other terms.
The first one is rising costs, which in this case, when you're
talking about a relationship, recession means emotional labor,
therapy speak, dating, burnout. And the second one is capital
hoarding. So in this case, that means
people are guarding their hearts, they're guarding their
bodies, they're kind of guarding their time more.
Yeah, capital hoarding, like it's, it feels like a very like
technical term, but basically the way that I think about it,
it's like, yes, people are being guarded, but I'm like those, you
know, Friday or Saturday nights where you would be going out on
a date, your capital hoarding, if you're like, Oh yeah, it
would feel so much better to light a candle, put on my PJS
and watch a movie because you're being very protective of your
time and being like, oh, I don't want to waste it going on a, you
know, a nothing date. But then I just like want to
watch a movie by myself which is so comfy and so hard to break
out of. Yeah.
Or for you like go to the sauna or something.
Oh yeah. I can go to the sauna and get a
massage. Sounds nice.
Go to the spa. Yeah, I'd be hoarding that
capital. OK, so then just to put a little
bow on it, in a financial recession, borrowing money is
too risky, but in a relationship recession, emotional
vulnerability is too risky. Yeah.
And that's where the situation ship comes in because at that
point you're you're micro dosing vulnerability, you're not truly
opening up. And so if there's never been
like a good outcome from situation ships, like, what do
we do to fix this story? OK.
So once again we look to economics and we think about
what are ways that governments and societies in the past have
addressed recessions. So there are three monetary
easing, fiscal policy and structural reform.
You really are the biggest nerd. So let's get into the first one.
So monetary easing is where the government can't force people to
spend, obviously, but the central bank can make it easier
to do so. So in relationships, this would
be something like normalizing low stakes honesty, like really
being able to communicate what you feel and what you want with
like lower stakes in your own mind.
Yeah, like you don't have to wait for like the perfect moment
to say the perfect thing and like build it up in your head.
No, it can be something like, hey, like I really like you, but
I'm really scared or like, hey, like, where do you think this is
going? Like I would love to have like,
you know, a chat about it. It doesn't have to be this like
a giant thing where you're like trying to say like I love you
and like build it up in your head at the very.
End or even like smaller ways that you could do it before even
getting to that level of the conversation.
And I think that when you do that, it invites the other
person to respond in kind. Yeah, also it's just like, it's
just like lower doses of like being honest and communicating
so that you don't have to build it up to be a giant thing, which
is very scary. Yes, quantitative easing.
I'm just kidding. That doesn't.
Work. And all of this is better than
ghosting, because ghosting just adds to the problem.
So then fiscal policy is when the government uses its own
money to stimulate demand. Yeah, I think a good example
applying this to the relationship recession is like,
can you build community, like using your own power to
organize? And it doesn't have to be like
this giant thing where it's like, Oh my God, there's so much
pressure on, like coupling up. No like organize like a group
dinner and then invite a friend and have that friend bring
someone else. I think creating those
environments where you can meet more people really helps
stimulate this recession. So then the last one, structural
reform, is all about instituting change to the long standing
rules, structures and institutions of an economy.
Yeah, I love this because it brings us full circle back to
like the Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day conversation we
had at the beginning where it's like, historically it's been
Valentine's Day, right? Like the coupling, but like,
let's bring in Galentine's say, like let's change our mindset.
Let's decenter men and put the emphasis on ourselves, on our
really fruitful relationships with our girlfriends, and build
ourselves up and our communities up.
Yeah, the idea of loving relationships can come in many
different, different forms. They don't have to be romantic
and they don't have to be partnered, and they all deserve
to be celebrated equally. OK, so you just nerded out on
your econ lesson, and I'm going to turn us to a framework that
you can use right after you watch this episode.
And it's based on something in tech that we called pattern
interruption. And so, you know, all these tech
companies are creating these behavioral patterns that you
kind of get sucked into, right? You're like scrolling for hours
at a time sometimes. Like how do we break that
pattern? And so now applying this pattern
interruption framework, I've some ideas of how you can break
out of this relationship recession.
So TLDR, humans run on patterns. We love routines in our life,
but interrupting it sometimes wakes our body up and it can
like jolt us with something new and surprising.
OK, OK. And so, you know, bringing us
back to dating apps, I did say before, like, you know, we are
shallow. I think as humans, especially
dating apps are built for shallowness.
Like you see a photo of a person and you're like, OK, hot or not.
And you can swipe based off that.
So my pattern interruption technique is to swipe type on
people who may be like different than your like typical type.
And one of those like things you can do like there's a height
filter, you know, if you're filtering for like 6 feet and
above, I'm sorry, but you're taking out like really
potentially like awesome people in the candidate pool based off
of something incredibly superficial.
So I think that's something to consider. 511 horse too, guys.
So does 510. You know, you guys only know
where your preferences lie. But I mean, I think about
Charlotte and Sex in the City. You know, she and Harry are very
different and she would have never considered marrying him
before, but it was the happiest love of her life after Trey
McDougal. She's going deep in the.
Lore Anyways, if you guys watch Sex in the City, you understand?
If not, please do watch. And then another very tactical
thing you can do, which sounds scary, but I think it's great,
is asking your friends to set you up.
And even better if it's a blind date.
What I mean is do not do a background search on the person
that you're about to go on the date with.
I'm guilty of doing it, like going as far and as deep as
looking at their LinkedIn. Yeah, which is not great.
It kind of takes the romance. It takes the chemistry out of it
all. So like, if you can ask your
friend to set you up because you're friend knows you, your
friend knows the other person, there's more social
accountability. Perhaps they know a little bit
more about if your chemistry would be good.
I think setups are wonderful. And then also do not research
the person you're about to go on a date with.
I sort of did this. Yeah, that's true recently,
right? Yeah.
Yeah, well, so a friend of mine like connected me and this guy
who's a really good friend of hers, and he messaged me and I
saw that he followed me on Instagram, but I did not follow
him back because I didn't want to see his profile.
Yeah. Like I don't actually don't want
to have too much information about him, right?
Because I don't really want to have like a preconceived notion,
right? Because.
When they're like, Oh yeah, my first job out of school was
working at this place, You're like, oh, I'm so surprised I
didn't know that. OK, to be fair, I did look at
his LinkedIn. What?
No, but just to like, you need to have some sort of like, I
want to feel like he's a real person.
I want to be like, OK, this is like a real person.
Like he actually, you know, she's like, oh, he like, did all
these things that I'm like, did he really so.
But I guess I I'm on your side just like don't go as far to
know where his like aunt lives. Yeah, yeah.
And also like it's different because LinkedIn is it's
supposed to be more objective. It's supposed to be all like
facts versus Instagram is everything that you submit and
it's how you perceive yourself, right?
It's like how you want to bring show yourself to the world.
So I'm like, OK, let me stick to the facts.
People only put things on LinkedIn too.
Girl, don't. Kid yourself, I didn't click
into any articles or anything. OK, good.
Get in front of you. Yeah, and I don't know how tall
he is or anything else like that.
Well. Who?
Knows I'm proud of this even happens I'm proud of you we'll
see if it even. TBD update on the next.
Episode. Stay tuned.
See guys, I'm like doing the things that are in the
frameworks. I'm happy and guys, we would
love to hear from you. You heard an example, a very
personal one from Jean. So please let us know in the
comments below if you guys are trying these things, have tried
them already, we'll try them in the future.
I think they're just like simple, like easy frameworks
that you can bring into your life and make it very tactical
after this episode. So maybe if you're also watching
this and you are partnered or you have like something in mind
for your friend, like set your friend up, I think people
really, really respond to that. Yeah, and also, should I follow
him back on Instagram and when? Because I'm new to this whole
world, right? Like I was actually surprised
that he even had followed me before we'd ever.
Think that was a medication, like do you think he like fat
fingered it or he was just like maybe he's making a statement,
maybe he's like follow. Well, he was because it's my
profile's public for the first time.
So like he didn't even need to follow me to see my profile.
So then now I don't know guys. I don't know.
Like is it offensive to him that I haven't followed him back?
Like wait, is, is this a mind game?
Is. It to like indicate interest.
I think so. He's hitting so.
Hasn't asked me out. But he's hitting on you via the
follow. Guys, this was a pretty dense
episode, including the craziest metaphor I've ever made in my
life. But you know, the takeaways are
pretty inspiring, I would say. Yeah.
This was such a fun episode because it was really complex,
but we really broke it down. My biggest take away is that
multiple things can be true at the same time.
I think going back to that Vogue article, is it embarrassing or
cringe to have a boyfriend? Like the article is interesting
because like, you can want to be in a partnered relationship and
still want to be incredibly empowered.
And these days we have more freedoms as women than ever
before. And when we decenter men, we
have the ability to focus on ourselves, focus on our own
pursuits, and really choose what we want to do.
We can choose to be single and powerful, or we can choose to be
partnered, or we can choose to be in an unconventional type of
relationship as well. Like everything is autonomy and
freedom of choice. But that can only come when we
as women have the ability to build ourselves up financially,
get our own bag so that all the decisions that we make are made
with a clear head and no other factors or, you know, forces are
forcing us into a single type of archetype.
No, I feel so happy, truly, that like we as women just have
freedom of choice. That is really powerful.
Yeah, I mean, it is true. Like if you look at, you know,
through the fullness of history, even having freedom of choice
when it comes to sex, when it comes to relationships, when it
comes to autonomy as a woman is something that is very recent in
history. That's crazy.
I mean, also something insane. Like, let me just put it this
way. We are the first women in our
bloodline to be single at this age and living alone, the first
women ever. And we are at a time in history
where for the most part, we can do that and still feel
empowered. Of course, there's like still
different parts of the world. And also, yeah, in the US that
like, looks down upon that. But at least like bringing us
back to Whitney Wolford in the beginning, like we can see women
who are high-powered doing something that's very different
than typical archetypes. So my final thought throughout
this whole episode is that, you know, this whole episode we're
talking about the idea of a relationship recession.
But I think to be more specific, it's a romantic relationship
recession. And the sort of countervailing
force is that there is a resurgence of platonic
relationships. And I think that's very
necessary in society so that we still have this like, you know,
we have to go counter to the norm and invest in community.
And that's the whole idea behind Galentine's day, right?
Like building up these relationships that are outside
of the heteronormative relationship norms so that you
can have a full and beautiful and fun and fulfilling,
rewarding life. Outside of just a partnered
relationship. Yeah, I love that because
another way that we can really center ourselves and also our
girlfriends and the amazing relationships we have in our
life that are platonic is doing it with a celebration cake.
So I saw this on a TikTok recently and we haven't done it
yet, but I really want to me too is where like you buy like a
little tiny cake and then you put in little pins and like with
like post its on it like little flags that are celebrating the
wins in your life. Because I feel like we don't do
that enough. We don't celebrate our wins and
we don't celebrate our girlfriends.
But I think Galentine's Day is a great opportunity to do that.
Right, exactly. Because I think society pushes
you to celebrate wins that are all about the traditional
archetype, right? So like getting engaged, getting
married, having a baby, having a baby, these are all built in
celebrations. What about all the other things
that we achieve throughout the course of our lives that are not
these specific items? So like passing the bar exam,
getting promoted, buying a house.
One of my really good friends just bought a house in the
Palisades and we all went and celebrated it together because.
That's incredible, that's worth celebrating, and that's not
something that's like a partnered.
Thing. Yeah, actually, she bought it on
her own. She bought it on her own.
OK, so I think the main takeaways from this episode is
to focus on yourself, decenter men, and build communities that
celebrate your wins. And as always, Cherie, get that
bag. Please let us know what you
think about this episode in the comments, whether you agree with
us, disagree with us. You have a differing opinion.
Please let us know in the comments.
Jean and I read every single one, and we'll take out some to
respond. To and don't forget to subscribe
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