1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:04,640 We are the first women in our bloodline to be single at this 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,440 age and living alone. Is the most rebellious archetype 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,360 that we have today the successful single woman? 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:15,280 Over the last 10 years, the number of single people around 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,080 the globe have increased by over 100 million. 6 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,720 That is a staggering number. I don't even know what to do 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,720 with that. So the pandemic is responsible 8 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,760 for the decline in quality of men. 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,760 Is that what we're saying? I'm going to be taking you 10 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,320 through how a recession works and how societies work so that 11 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,920 you actually don't have to be depressed about the fact that 12 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,400 we're in a relationship recession. 13 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,240 You really are the biggest nerd. I'm Cherie. 14 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,240 I'm Jean and. We're the Tiger sisters. 15 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,280 We are your Wall Street and Silicon Valley Big Sisters. 16 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,720 And we're a top business podcast on Spotify, bringing you late 17 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,960 night sister talk meets boardroom strategy. 18 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,080 This is the first time in history that there are more 19 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,240 single people than ever. Yeah, we are in a relationship 20 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,600 recession. There are so many single people. 21 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,160 I'm one of them. In today's episode, we're going 22 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:05,000 to investigate this relationship recession like we are more 23 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,880 financially free than ever before as women. 24 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,560 But are we happy? And we're going to give you 25 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,280 tools so that you can decenter romantic relationships in your 26 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,200 life and actually live your life fully and freely without being 27 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,400 an appendage to a man. Let's get into it. 28 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,480 According to The Economist, among Americans ages 25 to 34, 29 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,040 the proportion living without a spouse or a partner has doubled 30 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:33,120 in the last five decades, to 50% for men and 41% for women. 31 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,360 That's insane. That's. 32 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,240 Insane. As women, we have more financial 33 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,360 freedom than ever before. But the question is, are we 34 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,120 happy? Because in history, there's 35 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,920 always been this archetype of how a woman should be. 36 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,840 There's been like the housewife, the original OG housewife, the 37 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,520 counterculture hippie, also recently the girl boss, which we 38 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,640 know all too well. And most recently, we've like 39 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,360 circled back to trad wife. Yeah. 40 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,880 I mean, I'm going to push back a little bit on that because I 41 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,200 think, yes, there are all these sort of different sort of brief 42 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,920 archetypes. But I think there's one 43 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:11,000 underlying archetype that has always existed in history and 44 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,720 it's kind of like always expected of women, and that's to 45 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,560 be the mother, the stay at home mom, the sort of like nurturing 46 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:22,000 presence in everyone's life. I mean, like the emotion that 47 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,200 I'm having right now is like one of anger. 48 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,000 Like I just feel like pissed off. 49 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,080 Because when you think about the archetypes that a woman has, 50 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,400 it's like what you just named. But then when you think about 51 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,240 traditional archetypes for men, they are, you know, the 52 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,360 provider, they make money. But like making money in this 53 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,160 day and age, like men and women can make money. 54 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,960 But then the responsibilities that you named like a lot of 55 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,920 like childcare, child rearing, literally birthing a child, like 56 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:50,920 that's still biologically like the onus is on the woman, but 57 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,360 now she also needs to balance that with all the other 58 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,880 responsibilities of making money and providing as well. 59 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,720 Right, exactly. So that's why the phrase like 60 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,640 having it all is always applied to women instead of them, 61 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:05,520 because women have multiple requirements to have it all. 62 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,960 Versus to be the archetypical super successful man, all you 63 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,320 have to do, not all you have to do, but yeah, all you have to do 64 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,080 is be really successful. Yeah. 65 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,920 Versus for a woman, you have to be really successful and all 66 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,840 these other. Things and a fabulous mother. 67 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,960 Yeah, yeah. So like, look, I'm pissed 68 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:27,480 because, like, that kind of comparison feels unfair. 69 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,360 But these days I'm like, kind of relieved and so grateful because 70 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,880 more than ever, women have financial freedom. 71 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,520 And financial freedom affords way more opportunities. 72 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,240 So women can make their own choices. 73 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,160 They don't have to feel stuck in a situation that they're, like, 74 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:47,000 forced into or have to stay in. So like, while I am kind of 75 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,840 pissed, I'm also like super grateful. 76 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,160 Yeah, I mean for the very first time in history we actually have 77 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,760 the legal rights and abilities to not adhere to that long 78 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,960 standing archetype. Today's episode is presented by 79 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,600 Sofi, the All in one finance app that helps you bank, borrow and 80 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:07,560 invest your money in one place. OK guys, so it is the season of 81 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:12,280 love Valentine's Day. If you guys haven't seen, I'm 82 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:16,360 shocked because if you walk into any drugstore or pharmacy, there 83 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,640 are Valentine's Day gifts and chocolates and Everything 84 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,000 Everywhere. Valentine's Day slash 85 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,280 Galentine's Day. Yes, and fun fact, Galentine's 86 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:29,000 Day was actually coined by Amy Poehler's character in Parks and 87 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,080 Rec as a day to celebrate your female relationships. 88 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,840 What's? Galentine's Day. 89 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,480 Oh, it's. Only the best day of the year. 90 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,360 Amy Poehler, only our best friend and. 91 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,320 Idol. Only our bestie, our fellow. 92 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,240 She's our colleague. Our colleague, our fellow 93 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,920 podcaster. But that's when she was in Parks 94 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:45,720 and Rec. Leslie. 95 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,760 Nope. Shout out. 96 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,960 I love that we're talking about Valentine's Day and Galentine's 97 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,640 Day because it takes 4th wave feminism to another level. 98 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,640 And I have so much to say about. That we're going to totally dive 99 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,480 into that and also it's like this idea that like Valentine's 100 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,800 Day is not only just for you and your partner. 101 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,960 Now we have Galentine's Day where you're able to celebrate 102 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,360 with your girlfriends and really have a bit of both. 103 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,120 OK I have some facts about the 1st and 2nd waves of feminism. 104 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,400 So first wave feminism 1920 to 1940s. 105 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,880 We literally got the right to personhood. 106 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,000 Crazy. OK. 107 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,720 Is that Can you believe? It's not even that long ago. 108 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,120 Let's be real, it's not. That long ago, it's less than 109 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,280 100 years ago. So we had the right to vote. 110 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,240 We had access to education and property rights, yes. 111 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,400 So thanks I guess. I mean, I did do a project on 112 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,560 the suffragettes when I was in middle school. 113 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,840 Oh wait, is that when you won the history? 114 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,240 Fair no the hit. That was a different time guys. 115 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,960 But I did win my 8th grade history fair in social studies. 116 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,040 Different project on child labour, but anyways. 117 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:51,880 Anyways, OK, second wave was from the 60s to the 80s and it 118 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,760 focused on workplace discrimination, reproductive 119 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,080 rights, and then basically the division of power and labor 120 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,400 again in the workplace. Yeah, I think something crazy 121 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,000 that comes to mind that I always remember. 122 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,880 So I went to an all women's college, went to Barnard. 123 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,920 And so this was very much like, thanks for that. 124 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,760 This was very much part of my DNA in college. 125 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,480 But Barnard College is part of Columbia University. 126 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,280 And the reason why Barnard even exists is because women were not 127 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,040 allowed to attend universities with men. 128 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,760 It was not Co Ed, it was only for men. 129 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,600 So you had to make all women colleges. 130 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:27,720 And I was in the 70s that Columbia University only started 131 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,360 admitting women. It's, it's wild. 132 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,200 It's wild. I know. 133 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,800 I mean, it's in many, many people's lifetimes. 134 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,800 Yeah, it's in most people's lifetimes. 135 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,440 In most people's lifetimes who are alive today? 136 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,360 Yeah. Shit. 137 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,480 So we've come. We've come a long way to where 138 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,640 we are today. Yeah. 139 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,160 And so in second wave feminism, we actually have some really 140 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,240 important figures to thank, such as Betty Friedan, who wrote The 141 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,280 Feminine Mystique. And her entire idea was the fact 142 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,840 that it was really pushing back against this sort of cultural 143 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:59,920 norm that women were most satisfied by being in the home 144 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:04,600 and raising families. That's a crazy assumption now 145 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,680 looking back on it. But I guess moving forward to 146 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:12,800 the third wave of feminism, and this is the 1990s to 20 tens, 147 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:17,000 where women now have basic legal rights and personhood and 148 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,240 humanhood. But we're pushing against this 149 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:23,440 idea that there is one single archetype of what a woman is. 150 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,320 And so bringing in things like intersectionality and also 151 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,240 discussions around race, class and sexuality, gender identity, 152 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,000 like those all combined together makes up an entire woman. 153 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,400 And then to wrap up our mini history lesson, that all brings 154 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,520 us back to the original premise of this episode. 155 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,320 The question of how now that we're in the 4th wave of 156 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,800 feminism and we can sort of choose our own archetypes or 157 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,080 push back against the prevailing archetype, is that something 158 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,280 that is actually positive for us as women? 159 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,320 Or does it just give us even more pressure because we're 160 00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:00,200 expected to be more than just, you know, what society has set 161 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,280 us up to be? It's. 162 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,040 A complex issue. It's super nuanced and we're so 163 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,760 excited that you guys have tuned in Tiger Fam to talk about it. 164 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,200 We do have a case study for you guys of an example we're going 165 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,520 to dig into. But before we do that, we do 166 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,000 want to kind of ask, is this interesting to you guys? 167 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,040 Like do you like, you know, we're always doing 168 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,720 experimentation on Tiger Sisters. 169 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,520 So this is another experiment where we're doing kind of more 170 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,720 op-ed style episode where we are really challenging ourselves to 171 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:30,440 bring more of our full selves to Tiger Sisters and kind of be 172 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:36,679 just more candid and honest with our true opinions on a lot of 173 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:39,120 different new topics. Yeah, So let us know in the 174 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,679 comments what you guys think. Are you digging this topic? 175 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,400 Are you digging this format? And we'd love to hear from you. 176 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,880 OK, so this next section is we're going to talk about a case 177 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,240 study and that's of Whitney Wolf Hurd, the Co founder and CEO of 178 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,240 Bumble. And actually I've seen her speak 179 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:58,520 in person at Stanford GSB. She came into two things like 1. 180 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,440 I had a class where she was literally like 20 feet away from 181 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,760 me and she talked about the founding of Bumble and all the 182 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:07,440 things that went into that. It was a very tumultuous journey 183 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,360 in the beginning, as all startups are. 184 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:13,600 And then also she came for like a larger Stanford like 185 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,560 auditorium discussion. So it was cool seeing her in 186 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,080 both forums. But Whitney Wolf heard some 187 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,760 could argue, is the original girl boss. 188 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,600 Yeah, yeah. I mean, I see why you chose her 189 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,840 as a case study because she not only brought her company public 190 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,760 and is obviously extremely famous for that, but the way 191 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:37,000 that she did it and the sort of visual of it is that when she 192 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,160 rang the bell, like the NASDAQ bell, right, she had her 18 193 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:43,680 month old son on her hip. Yeah, so she was the world's 194 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:47,360 youngest female billionaire and also the youngest woman to take 195 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,000 a company. Public, which in and of itself 196 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,320 is obviously insane. Like an incredible 197 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,120 accomplishment that is just first of its kind. 198 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,240 But I also think that the media really sort of like leaned into 199 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:04,200 this idea of her and gave her so much attention because she still 200 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,760 fulfilled the archetype of being an intelligent, beautiful woman 201 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,520 who was also a mother. And like, she really showcased 202 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,480 that in the public eye. She never hid that. 203 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,240 She leaned into that identity. Very. 204 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,560 Fully, yeah. And I remember just being early 205 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,520 in my career, like as a new grad, like seeing this happen 206 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,320 and being like, not only just me, but other women. 207 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,560 And at my tech company where I was working at LinkedIn, we're 208 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,480 all just like, my God, this is what it could be. 209 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,160 You could be this beautiful, you could be this brilliant, and you 210 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,680 could be this entrepreneurial and you have kids too, and could 211 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:38,840 do it all at the same time. I think in the back of my head 212 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:42,400 we were like, that's incredible. But also like you good. 213 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:46,360 Like, that's a lot of responsibility in every single 214 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,680 facet of your life. Yeah, she kind of set like the 215 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:52,080 new bar God for women. Oh right, To be all of those 216 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,600 things at the same time. To be like the top 1% of like 217 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,440 everything. Yeah, I mean, but what we'll 218 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,000 never know is her sort of like inner sentiment? 219 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,280 Like, did she girl boss too close to the sun? 220 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,320 Like back to your question, Like, you good? 221 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,480 Like, was she happy? Was she fulfilled? 222 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,440 I I wish we could ask her like, are you happy with the way that 223 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,400 everything kind of like Shook? Out Whitney Whitney Whitney Are 224 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,240 you happy with how everything shook out? 225 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,920 We'd love to know because you are are from the outside. 226 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,320 It's kind of like social media, you know, like people look like 227 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,560 they have amazing lives and you're like, wow, you, you know, 228 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,040 took this company public. It's absolutely incredible. 229 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,160 And you see like the social media highlights, but I'm like 230 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,840 the behind the scenes, like how was it really? 231 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,400 And like is it attainable for like, should we all be aspiring 232 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,200 to do this in the way that you are doing it because you are so 233 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,560 happy and perfect looking? She set a new standard for women 234 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,360 around the world. Possibly unachievable. 235 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,200 Possibly. Unlikely, yeah. 236 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:56,560 Possibly unattainable. So, you know, it's complex. 237 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,560 So what I think is really interesting and like the idea of 238 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:05,720 girl bossing too close to the sun, like in the like 20 tens to 239 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:09,840 like 20 twenties, like we were all working so freaking hard in 240 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,560 our corporate jobs. You know, we're well educated, 241 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:15,400 we're making money for ourselves and we're just like pushing 242 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,560 ourselves at at work. We're like going to work with a 243 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:21,720 huge bag with like a change of shoes in the bag and then like 244 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,920 remember we had to wear like day to night outfits where it's like 245 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,960 for work, but then you have to go out. 246 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,000 Remember those all those articles anyways? 247 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,000 Or like how to make those Aritzia pants from daytime to. 248 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,000 Nighttime Molina. I mean Molina. 249 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,960 Hurtless, but also like those like work pants, you know what I 250 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,160 mean? Those trousers that people are 251 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,160 wearing to work. But anyways, it's just like we 252 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:46,640 were working so hard at our like day jobs, 9:00 to 5:00 that like 253 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,480 a lot of people, a lot of women burned out. 254 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,920 And so like the question is, is like it's kind of the pendulum 255 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,800 is swing swung the other way where like we worked so hard. 256 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,120 We were very successful doing that. 257 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,600 And now it's just like, I'm tired. 258 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,760 I'm like, so tired. Like, I think a lot of women are 259 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,280 exhausted. Yeah, I mean, and I think that's 260 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,960 why we now have the sort of resurgence of this new 261 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,120 archetype, which is the trad wife. 262 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:17,440 So like the coming of ballerina farm of Nora Smith, Nora Smith. 263 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,560 And like the idea that as a woman, like you can really 264 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:24,560 control your your like homestead and like focus all your energy 265 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,840 on that. That's like really coming to 266 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,560 light again. Yeah. 267 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,960 Or it's like being, I mean, going into more like of the 268 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,600 traditional roles that like Betty Friedan was fighting 269 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,080 against, right? But it's just like how to be in 270 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,720 your feminine, how to be in your softness as a woman because we 271 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,800 were working so hard in our quote UN quote masculine 272 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,680 traditional role that like, you know, people are women are 273 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:52,440 exhausted and they want to like make sourdough at home now. 274 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,000 Yeah. Is this, is this 6th wave 275 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,600 feminism? What's what's happening? 276 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:00,120 Well, so I think what's interesting is that maybe it is 277 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,960 the 6th wave of feminism or like the next wave where, oh, wait, 278 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,160 5th wave anyways, the next wave of feminism that like we have 279 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,400 the ability to choose. And I think that is like a 280 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,960 really important like double underline is that like whether 281 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,640 you choose to be a girl boss and you know, work really hard 282 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,120 because that's what you find fulfilling in your life, or you 283 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,680 choose to be a trad wife quote, UN quote because you find that 284 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:27,720 fulfilling, you have the ability to choose and the financial 285 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,920 freedom to choose what you want to do. 286 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,880 Yeah, I think this is not a fully formed thought, but I 287 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,480 think what's also interesting is that we're in this age now where 288 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:41,760 everything you do is sort of projected to the world, right? 289 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:46,080 Like very many, very few people can live fully offline lives. 290 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,520 So it's almost like whatever you opt into, you're you're 291 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,000 projecting to the world. Yeah. 292 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,440 It's not just like an internal state, it's very much an express 293 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,760 state. Yeah, because it becomes part of 294 00:14:58,760 --> 00:14:59,920 your identity. Yeah. 295 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:03,280 And your identity is shown in what you wear, what you do. 296 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,480 And all that stuff is then put onto social media in some way, 297 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,320 shape or form. And it's also who you surround 298 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,640 yourself with too, because it can be really hard if you are 299 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,240 the girl boss of your group and that's your choice. 300 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:19,120 But like the rest of your friend group does not subscribe to 301 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,640 that. And so that there's like a 302 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,240 tension of like, oh, you're working so hard. 303 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,040 What is it for? Or if like all your friends are 304 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,400 tried wives, then your girl boss friend is like kind of judging 305 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,000 you. So I think it can go both ways. 306 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,920 And so I don't know, it's really complex, but I think it's 307 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:38,040 amazing now at this point that women have the ability to choose 308 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,720 and should always have the ability to choose, like get your 309 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,880 own bag and make your own decisions. 310 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,040 And that sort of independence is liberating. 311 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,320 We talk a lot about money and tech on Tiger Sisters and 312 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,560 obviously crypto is a huge part of both. 313 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,600 Of those worlds, and my secret claim to fame is that I've 314 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,840 actually held Bitcoin since like 2012 or 2013. 315 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,360 OK, Flex. Is that why you're excited about 316 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,600 today's sponsor? Yes, Sofi Crypto, the first and 317 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,600 only national Chartered Bank where retail customers can buy, 318 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,400 sell and hold over 25 cryptocurrencies and all on a 319 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,440 federally regulated platform with the safeguards of a bank. 320 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,160 I like it because your crypto doesn't need to live on a 321 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,680 separate app. It can be situated with all your 322 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,320 other finances in the Sofi app. Same dashboards, same login, 323 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,800 same clean experience. Just go to sofi.com/tiger. 324 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:33,600 Cryptothatssofi.com/tiger. Crypto and now back to the show. 325 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,000 I totally agree that having the freedom of choice is overall 326 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,040 positive for women. But I think a really 327 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,440 interesting, almost like societal side effect of all of 328 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,680 that is that because so many women are putting their energy 329 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,320 into developing their careers or like whatever archetype they 330 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:53,440 choose, there's actually a lot more single people than ever 331 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,640 before because this sort of focus on relationships is not as 332 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,440 heavy as it was in previous generations. 333 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:04,079 So, you know, that brings us back to this idea of the 334 00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:06,119 relationship recession that we're currently in. 335 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,200 And like sort of this question I have in my head where I'm like 336 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,760 is the most rebellious archetype that we have today the 337 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,839 successful single woman and. Last week, we even talked about 338 00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:20,119 the male loneliness epidemic that we did, which is an 339 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,839 offshoot of this topic. And so the numbers don't lie. 340 00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:26,760 Let's go through some of them. So Michael Rosenfeld, A 341 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,840 sociologist at Stanford, actually found the reduction in 342 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:35,240 dating was due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and it produced 13.7 343 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:40,160 million more singles in the US in 2022 than if the singlehood 344 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,200 rate had stayed at the level of 2017. 345 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,720 So just one more thing to blame on the pandemic. 346 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,360 Yeah, basically the pandemic was not good for anything. 347 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,600 So the pandemic is responsible for the decline in quality of 348 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,200 men, is that what we're saying? That's what Michael. 349 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,320 Rosenfeld. Is saying. 350 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,440 All right, Michael, I'll take you at your word. 351 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,560 I have another stat. So this is from a study in The 352 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:05,120 Economist from last November that reported on singles across 353 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:09,160 14 countries, OK. And so when polled, only 40% 354 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,440 said that they're not interested in being in a relationship, and 355 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,600 27 percent said that the reasons include being too busy, too old, 356 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,240 or because no one wants to date them. 357 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,360 So the take away there is that the majority of majority of 358 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,440 people still want to be in relationships. 359 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:29,480 Yeah, I like that your stat is global because this is a global 360 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,440 issue. Yeah, a generational issue, 361 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,360 Global. Audience. 362 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,400 Well, so it really effects everyone. 363 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,640 So the last. Step I want to add is that over 364 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,960 the last 10 years, the number of single people around the globe 365 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,400 have increased by over 100 million. 366 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,920 And that is a staggering number. I don't even know what to do 367 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,600 with that 100 million. Yeah, so my man is out there. 368 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,360 Yeah, your man, your single man is out there. 369 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:53,880 My man's is out there. Man's is out. 370 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:54,840 My man's. Is out there. 371 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,640 It's just one in 100 million. Yeah. 372 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,880 What's the big deal? Big deal. 373 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:03,160 That's a lot of dates you could go on, potentially a lot of 374 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:04,240 first dates you can go on. Oh. 375 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,120 My God, imagine you have to like chip away at it 1 by 1. 376 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,640 Yes, you got this. It's like, what did they say? 377 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,080 They're like a marathon starts with the first step. 378 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,480 There you go. So I really don't know what to 379 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,160 make of that 100 million stat because it's kind of confusing 380 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,600 because in pop culture recently in October, there was an article 381 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,520 that came out by Vogue that declared it was embarrassing to 382 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,680 have a boyfriend. And so in, you know, the pop 383 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,240 culture these days on Instagram, on TikTok, a lot of people are 384 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,680 discussing that's like, it's embarrassing to be partnered 385 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,240 these days, especially if you're partnered with someone who is 386 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,840 also embarrassing. So like Pete, there's a lot of 387 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,320 single people, but it's also embarrassing to have, you know, 388 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,360 a boyfriend. So what do we do? 389 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,880 Yeah, I mean, that article, it popped off so hard. 390 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,600 It was like. Everywhere waves. 391 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,960 For three months, yeah. Is it embarrassing to have a 392 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,280 boyfriend now? And I think a big part of that, 393 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,920 though, is kind of societal because over the last 10 years, 394 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,840 the number of women who have higher education degrees has 395 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,200 increased to over 50%. And the number of men who have 396 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,280 higher education degrees is sort of like middling or stuck at 397 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:14,640 39%. So I think, you know, typically 398 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,160 women want to marry people who are sort of like at the same 399 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,680 level of education as them. And there's just not that 400 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,520 equilibrium in all of society today. 401 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:29,160 Yeah, I think that's stat on education is really staggering. 402 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,120 And just like quite honestly, I just know personally I want to 403 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,640 marry someone at my level or better than me in education, in 404 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,680 hobbies, in everything. And like I love learning from my 405 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,640 partner. And so I just want them to be 406 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,600 better than me in every single regard, the same or better. 407 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,960 Than me, yeah. I mean, you want to be with 408 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,120 someone that you respect. That I respect and I can learn 409 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,440 from. And so I don't, I don't know 410 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,960 what to do with that. I think it's really hard. 411 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,680 Also, the pandemic was challenging because you know, in 412 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:59,000 those like two or three years, especially during and after, 413 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,640 it's just like people weren't socializing and like, what do we 414 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,680 do? Dating apps are hard. 415 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:10,360 I think people are perhaps like very, very picky on dating apps 416 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,960 shallow. I will speak from my own 417 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:17,080 experience, you know, height filters, that's not cool, but so 418 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,360 I think all these things just. Shallow. 419 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:20,560 Shallow. What's that song? 420 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,640 Never mind. The Lady Gaga. 421 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,240 Lady Gaga. Love cute Lady Gaga? 422 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,720 Editor please put in little Lady Gaga song just getting it's 423 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,160 licensed. So I think just so many factors 424 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,360 put together, it makes it really hard when we want to date up. 425 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,880 And I think often times a lot of the men or the the pool that 426 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,040 we're looking at, it's it doesn't really meet the mark. 427 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,360 I want to do something really nerdy here and actually take the 428 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:50,440 words relationship recession and actually dig into OK, I was an 429 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,240 econ major guys. So like I want to dig into like, 430 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,360 OK, what is the actual definition of a recession and 431 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:59,120 how does that apply to the concept of a relationship 432 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:02,280 recession? This is absolutely so nerdy and 433 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,960 I'm excited for you to do a supply and demand chart and show 434 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,440 us the curves of the chart. I don't know, let's get into it. 435 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,280 OK guys, I'm going to be taking you through how a recession 436 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,160 works and how societies work so that you actually don't have to 437 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,400 be depressed about the fact that we're in a relationship 438 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,440 recession. So what is a recession? 439 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:24,040 So by definition, it means that demand collapses, confidence 440 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,560 drops, and people stop investing in their futures. 441 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,280 So then what's the goal here? It's to get people to spend 442 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,960 again, take risks and start investing again. 443 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:35,280 OK, that all sounds good, but then how do you apply this to 444 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,400 relationships? Well, since today there are 445 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,320 fewer people pursuing relationships, we actually have 446 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,320 a bit of a confidence crisis on our hands. 447 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,200 In addition to confidence crisis, there's two other terms. 448 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,640 The first one is rising costs, which in this case, when you're 449 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,600 talking about a relationship, recession means emotional labor, 450 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,880 therapy speak, dating, burnout. And the second one is capital 451 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,960 hoarding. So in this case, that means 452 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,040 people are guarding their hearts, they're guarding their 453 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,200 bodies, they're kind of guarding their time more. 454 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:07,240 Yeah, capital hoarding, like it's, it feels like a very like 455 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,960 technical term, but basically the way that I think about it, 456 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,920 it's like, yes, people are being guarded, but I'm like those, you 457 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,480 know, Friday or Saturday nights where you would be going out on 458 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,520 a date, your capital hoarding, if you're like, Oh yeah, it 459 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,200 would feel so much better to light a candle, put on my PJS 460 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,760 and watch a movie because you're being very protective of your 461 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,320 time and being like, oh, I don't want to waste it going on a, you 462 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,280 know, a nothing date. But then I just like want to 463 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,720 watch a movie by myself which is so comfy and so hard to break 464 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:33,480 out of. Yeah. 465 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,240 Or for you like go to the sauna or something. 466 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,720 Oh yeah. I can go to the sauna and get a 467 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,320 massage. Sounds nice. 468 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,400 Go to the spa. Yeah, I'd be hoarding that 469 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,320 capital. OK, so then just to put a little 470 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,040 bow on it, in a financial recession, borrowing money is 471 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,360 too risky, but in a relationship recession, emotional 472 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:54,080 vulnerability is too risky. Yeah. 473 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,680 And that's where the situation ship comes in because at that 474 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:02,000 point you're you're micro dosing vulnerability, you're not truly 475 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,280 opening up. And so if there's never been 476 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,640 like a good outcome from situation ships, like, what do 477 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,360 we do to fix this story? OK. 478 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:13,560 So once again we look to economics and we think about 479 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,200 what are ways that governments and societies in the past have 480 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,040 addressed recessions. So there are three monetary 481 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,880 easing, fiscal policy and structural reform. 482 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:27,320 You really are the biggest nerd. So let's get into the first one. 483 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,400 So monetary easing is where the government can't force people to 484 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,160 spend, obviously, but the central bank can make it easier 485 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,920 to do so. So in relationships, this would 486 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,720 be something like normalizing low stakes honesty, like really 487 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:43,280 being able to communicate what you feel and what you want with 488 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,080 like lower stakes in your own mind. 489 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:49,080 Yeah, like you don't have to wait for like the perfect moment 490 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,600 to say the perfect thing and like build it up in your head. 491 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,760 No, it can be something like, hey, like I really like you, but 492 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,200 I'm really scared or like, hey, like, where do you think this is 493 00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,440 going? Like I would love to have like, 494 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,520 you know, a chat about it. It doesn't have to be this like 495 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,440 a giant thing where you're like trying to say like I love you 496 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,120 and like build it up in your head at the very. 497 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,040 End or even like smaller ways that you could do it before even 498 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,920 getting to that level of the conversation. 499 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,440 And I think that when you do that, it invites the other 500 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,000 person to respond in kind. Yeah, also it's just like, it's 501 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,360 just like lower doses of like being honest and communicating 502 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,760 so that you don't have to build it up to be a giant thing, which 503 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,400 is very scary. Yes, quantitative easing. 504 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:28,200 I'm just kidding. That doesn't. 505 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,840 Work. And all of this is better than 506 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,720 ghosting, because ghosting just adds to the problem. 507 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,040 So then fiscal policy is when the government uses its own 508 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,440 money to stimulate demand. Yeah, I think a good example 509 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,800 applying this to the relationship recession is like, 510 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,080 can you build community, like using your own power to 511 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,280 organize? And it doesn't have to be like 512 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,680 this giant thing where it's like, Oh my God, there's so much 513 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,680 pressure on, like coupling up. No like organize like a group 514 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,720 dinner and then invite a friend and have that friend bring 515 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,040 someone else. I think creating those 516 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,520 environments where you can meet more people really helps 517 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:07,480 stimulate this recession. So then the last one, structural 518 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:11,240 reform, is all about instituting change to the long standing 519 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,560 rules, structures and institutions of an economy. 520 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,920 Yeah, I love this because it brings us full circle back to 521 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,600 like the Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day conversation we 522 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,360 had at the beginning where it's like, historically it's been 523 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,960 Valentine's Day, right? Like the coupling, but like, 524 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,640 let's bring in Galentine's say, like let's change our mindset. 525 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,240 Let's decenter men and put the emphasis on ourselves, on our 526 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,480 really fruitful relationships with our girlfriends, and build 527 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,360 ourselves up and our communities up. 528 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,000 Yeah, the idea of loving relationships can come in many 529 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,880 different, different forms. They don't have to be romantic 530 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,680 and they don't have to be partnered, and they all deserve 531 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,680 to be celebrated equally. OK, so you just nerded out on 532 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:54,480 your econ lesson, and I'm going to turn us to a framework that 533 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,040 you can use right after you watch this episode. 534 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,520 And it's based on something in tech that we called pattern 535 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,880 interruption. And so, you know, all these tech 536 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,960 companies are creating these behavioral patterns that you 537 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:09,040 kind of get sucked into, right? You're like scrolling for hours 538 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,920 at a time sometimes. Like how do we break that 539 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,440 pattern? And so now applying this pattern 540 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,800 interruption framework, I've some ideas of how you can break 541 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,080 out of this relationship recession. 542 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:24,280 So TLDR, humans run on patterns. We love routines in our life, 543 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,080 but interrupting it sometimes wakes our body up and it can 544 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,480 like jolt us with something new and surprising. 545 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,640 OK, OK. And so, you know, bringing us 546 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,200 back to dating apps, I did say before, like, you know, we are 547 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:37,840 shallow. I think as humans, especially 548 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,840 dating apps are built for shallowness. 549 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,160 Like you see a photo of a person and you're like, OK, hot or not. 550 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,000 And you can swipe based off that. 551 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,200 So my pattern interruption technique is to swipe type on 552 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:52,640 people who may be like different than your like typical type. 553 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,160 And one of those like things you can do like there's a height 554 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,640 filter, you know, if you're filtering for like 6 feet and 555 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,960 above, I'm sorry, but you're taking out like really 556 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,840 potentially like awesome people in the candidate pool based off 557 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,840 of something incredibly superficial. 558 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:10,640 So I think that's something to consider. 511 horse too, guys. 559 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,320 So does 510. You know, you guys only know 560 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,000 where your preferences lie. But I mean, I think about 561 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,160 Charlotte and Sex in the City. You know, she and Harry are very 562 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,040 different and she would have never considered marrying him 563 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,480 before, but it was the happiest love of her life after Trey 564 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,200 McDougal. She's going deep in the. 565 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,280 Lore Anyways, if you guys watch Sex in the City, you understand? 566 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,480 If not, please do watch. And then another very tactical 567 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,720 thing you can do, which sounds scary, but I think it's great, 568 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,840 is asking your friends to set you up. 569 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,920 And even better if it's a blind date. 570 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,840 What I mean is do not do a background search on the person 571 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,240 that you're about to go on the date with. 572 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,800 I'm guilty of doing it, like going as far and as deep as 573 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,440 looking at their LinkedIn. Yeah, which is not great. 574 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,800 It kind of takes the romance. It takes the chemistry out of it 575 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,360 all. So like, if you can ask your 576 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,280 friend to set you up because you're friend knows you, your 577 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,880 friend knows the other person, there's more social 578 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:03,760 accountability. Perhaps they know a little bit 579 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,680 more about if your chemistry would be good. 580 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,880 I think setups are wonderful. And then also do not research 581 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,440 the person you're about to go on a date with. 582 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,880 I sort of did this. Yeah, that's true recently, 583 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:15,400 right? Yeah. 584 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:20,280 Yeah, well, so a friend of mine like connected me and this guy 585 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:25,800 who's a really good friend of hers, and he messaged me and I 586 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,640 saw that he followed me on Instagram, but I did not follow 587 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,280 him back because I didn't want to see his profile. 588 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,840 Yeah. Like I don't actually don't want 589 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,720 to have too much information about him, right? 590 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,960 Because I don't really want to have like a preconceived notion, 591 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:39,480 right? Because. 592 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,840 When they're like, Oh yeah, my first job out of school was 593 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,160 working at this place, You're like, oh, I'm so surprised I 594 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,000 didn't know that. OK, to be fair, I did look at 595 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:48,800 his LinkedIn. What? 596 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,880 No, but just to like, you need to have some sort of like, I 597 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,120 want to feel like he's a real person. 598 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,200 I want to be like, OK, this is like a real person. 599 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,040 Like he actually, you know, she's like, oh, he like, did all 600 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,840 these things that I'm like, did he really so. 601 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:06,040 But I guess I I'm on your side just like don't go as far to 602 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,360 know where his like aunt lives. Yeah, yeah. 603 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,320 And also like it's different because LinkedIn is it's 604 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,160 supposed to be more objective. It's supposed to be all like 605 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,040 facts versus Instagram is everything that you submit and 606 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,880 it's how you perceive yourself, right? 607 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,160 It's like how you want to bring show yourself to the world. 608 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,560 So I'm like, OK, let me stick to the facts. 609 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,200 People only put things on LinkedIn too. 610 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:28,960 Girl, don't. Kid yourself, I didn't click 611 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,680 into any articles or anything. OK, good. 612 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,440 Get in front of you. Yeah, and I don't know how tall 613 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,080 he is or anything else like that. 614 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:36,920 Well. Who? 615 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,320 Knows I'm proud of this even happens I'm proud of you we'll 616 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,520 see if it even. TBD update on the next. 617 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,560 Episode. Stay tuned. 618 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,720 See guys, I'm like doing the things that are in the 619 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,880 frameworks. I'm happy and guys, we would 620 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,000 love to hear from you. You heard an example, a very 621 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,800 personal one from Jean. So please let us know in the 622 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,000 comments below if you guys are trying these things, have tried 623 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,800 them already, we'll try them in the future. 624 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,800 I think they're just like simple, like easy frameworks 625 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,640 that you can bring into your life and make it very tactical 626 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,000 after this episode. So maybe if you're also watching 627 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,840 this and you are partnered or you have like something in mind 628 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,320 for your friend, like set your friend up, I think people 629 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,360 really, really respond to that. Yeah, and also, should I follow 630 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,880 him back on Instagram and when? Because I'm new to this whole 631 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,040 world, right? Like I was actually surprised 632 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,200 that he even had followed me before we'd ever. 633 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,400 Think that was a medication, like do you think he like fat 634 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,120 fingered it or he was just like maybe he's making a statement, 635 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,280 maybe he's like follow. Well, he was because it's my 636 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,320 profile's public for the first time. 637 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,160 So like he didn't even need to follow me to see my profile. 638 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,400 So then now I don't know guys. I don't know. 639 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,600 Like is it offensive to him that I haven't followed him back? 640 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,720 Like wait, is, is this a mind game? 641 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,520 Is. It to like indicate interest. 642 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:45,880 I think so. He's hitting so. 643 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,640 Hasn't asked me out. But he's hitting on you via the 644 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,440 follow. Guys, this was a pretty dense 645 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,440 episode, including the craziest metaphor I've ever made in my 646 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,480 life. But you know, the takeaways are 647 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,440 pretty inspiring, I would say. Yeah. 648 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,160 This was such a fun episode because it was really complex, 649 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:07,000 but we really broke it down. My biggest take away is that 650 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,600 multiple things can be true at the same time. 651 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,120 I think going back to that Vogue article, is it embarrassing or 652 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,800 cringe to have a boyfriend? Like the article is interesting 653 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,280 because like, you can want to be in a partnered relationship and 654 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,680 still want to be incredibly empowered. 655 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,760 And these days we have more freedoms as women than ever 656 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,800 before. And when we decenter men, we 657 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,120 have the ability to focus on ourselves, focus on our own 658 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,800 pursuits, and really choose what we want to do. 659 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,440 We can choose to be single and powerful, or we can choose to be 660 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:43,360 partnered, or we can choose to be in an unconventional type of 661 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:47,120 relationship as well. Like everything is autonomy and 662 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,600 freedom of choice. But that can only come when we 663 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,600 as women have the ability to build ourselves up financially, 664 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,960 get our own bag so that all the decisions that we make are made 665 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:04,840 with a clear head and no other factors or, you know, forces are 666 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,360 forcing us into a single type of archetype. 667 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:14,520 No, I feel so happy, truly, that like we as women just have 668 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:18,320 freedom of choice. That is really powerful. 669 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,360 Yeah, I mean, it is true. Like if you look at, you know, 670 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:25,320 through the fullness of history, even having freedom of choice 671 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,880 when it comes to sex, when it comes to relationships, when it 672 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:33,480 comes to autonomy as a woman is something that is very recent in 673 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,040 history. That's crazy. 674 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,600 I mean, also something insane. Like, let me just put it this 675 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,080 way. We are the first women in our 676 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:46,480 bloodline to be single at this age and living alone, the first 677 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:50,000 women ever. And we are at a time in history 678 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,720 where for the most part, we can do that and still feel 679 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,240 empowered. Of course, there's like still 680 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,040 different parts of the world. And also, yeah, in the US that 681 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,400 like, looks down upon that. But at least like bringing us 682 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:06,080 back to Whitney Wolford in the beginning, like we can see women 683 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,400 who are high-powered doing something that's very different 684 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:13,280 than typical archetypes. So my final thought throughout 685 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,800 this whole episode is that, you know, this whole episode we're 686 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,719 talking about the idea of a relationship recession. 687 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,199 But I think to be more specific, it's a romantic relationship 688 00:34:21,199 --> 00:34:23,320 recession. And the sort of countervailing 689 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,960 force is that there is a resurgence of platonic 690 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,800 relationships. And I think that's very 691 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,639 necessary in society so that we still have this like, you know, 692 00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:35,760 we have to go counter to the norm and invest in community. 693 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,239 And that's the whole idea behind Galentine's day, right? 694 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,000 Like building up these relationships that are outside 695 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,280 of the heteronormative relationship norms so that you 696 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:49,639 can have a full and beautiful and fun and fulfilling, 697 00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:52,520 rewarding life. Outside of just a partnered 698 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,840 relationship. Yeah, I love that because 699 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:59,360 another way that we can really center ourselves and also our 700 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,840 girlfriends and the amazing relationships we have in our 701 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:06,280 life that are platonic is doing it with a celebration cake. 702 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,440 So I saw this on a TikTok recently and we haven't done it 703 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,800 yet, but I really want to me too is where like you buy like a 704 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,880 little tiny cake and then you put in little pins and like with 705 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,880 like post its on it like little flags that are celebrating the 706 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,160 wins in your life. Because I feel like we don't do 707 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,840 that enough. We don't celebrate our wins and 708 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,200 we don't celebrate our girlfriends. 709 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,480 But I think Galentine's Day is a great opportunity to do that. 710 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,920 Right, exactly. Because I think society pushes 711 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,800 you to celebrate wins that are all about the traditional 712 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,160 archetype, right? So like getting engaged, getting 713 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,280 married, having a baby, having a baby, these are all built in 714 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,280 celebrations. What about all the other things 715 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,920 that we achieve throughout the course of our lives that are not 716 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,680 these specific items? So like passing the bar exam, 717 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,640 getting promoted, buying a house. 718 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,680 One of my really good friends just bought a house in the 719 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,800 Palisades and we all went and celebrated it together because. 720 00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,000 That's incredible, that's worth celebrating, and that's not 721 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,240 something that's like a partnered. 722 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:03,080 Thing. Yeah, actually, she bought it on 723 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,320 her own. She bought it on her own. 724 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,480 OK, so I think the main takeaways from this episode is 725 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:11,760 to focus on yourself, decenter men, and build communities that 726 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,120 celebrate your wins. And as always, Cherie, get that 727 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,240 bag. Please let us know what you 728 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:20,320 think about this episode in the comments, whether you agree with 729 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,920 us, disagree with us. You have a differing opinion. 730 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,560 Please let us know in the comments. 731 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,960 Jean and I read every single one, and we'll take out some to 732 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,320 respond. To and don't forget to subscribe 733 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,400 because that is totally free and is one of the most important 734 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,440 ways that you can support us and keep Tiger sisters alive. 735 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,880 Thanks guys. We'll see you next time. 736 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,960 Bye. Please double check that you're 737 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,200 subscribed to Tiger Sisters on YouTube and following Tiger 738 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,040 Sisters Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. 739 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,960 Subscribing and following are completely free and are 740 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,160 genuinely so important for the survival of Tiger Sisters. 741 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,160 It helps us keep making the show, improving it and growing. 742 00:36:57,240 --> 00:36:59,520 Bring it so we can reach and help more people. 743 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,520 And if you're already subscribed, thank you, truly. 744 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,800 It means you're not just watching this episode, you're 745 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,200 part of this community and you're part of this journey with 746 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,320 us. We don't take that lightly and 747 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,040 we are so grateful that you're here.