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If you want the road map for a 
total life reset, you are in the

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right. 
Place If you're feeling behind, 

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heartbroken, stuck, or in some 
weird in between, this is your 

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reset playbook. 
Because starting over isn't just

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one singular decision. 
It's emotional, it's habits, 

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it's health, it's identity. 
It's love. 

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We're doing this episode at the 
end of the year because this is 

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when life slows down naturally 
and you can actually have some 

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time to reflect. 
But even if you're listening to 

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this in January, March, or like 
a random Tuesday, it all 

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applies. 
Starting over doesn't require 

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the new year or January 1st. 
Give us 60 minutes and we will 

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give you 6 frameworks that cover
both the emotional and the 

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practical side of starting over.
Everything from career, life, 

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love and habits. 
You don't need motivation, you 

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need a system. 
You're not behind, you're in 

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transition. 
In Part 1, we talk about the 

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emotional map, William Bridges 
transitions, Carol Dweck's 

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mindset, and designing your 
life. 

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And Part 2 is the tool kit that 
you can use immediately. 

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Atomic Habits Vulnerability by 
Brené Brown and Rewriting Your 

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Narrative by Esther Perel. 
And we also have many exercises 

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throughout, so you're not just 
listening, you're doing the work

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with us. 
A quick note, we actually 

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released these episodes four 
months ago and seven months ago.

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We still use the frameworks and 
reflect on them so. 

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Whether you're starting over in 
your career, in love, after a 

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breakup, after a layoff, or you 
just want to reinvent yourself, 

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this. 
Is the ultimate road map. 

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Rewrite the story that no longer
serves you. 

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Let's get into it. 
Today's episode is presented by 

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Sofi, the all in one finance app
that allows you to bank borrow 

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investor money in one place and 
or back. 

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So one of the reasons why we 
want to talk about this topic is

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because transitions happen all 
the time, especially when you're

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in your early 20s and 30s, I 
would say when you're coming out

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of school. 
So much of my identity, both 

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professional and personal, was 
built around my career, for 

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better or for worse. 
And when something big happens 

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like a transition, I didn't 
really have the tools to handle 

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it. 
So I'm so glad we're talking 

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about this in this episode. 
The first framework that we're 

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going to be talking about is 
William Bridges Transition 

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Framework. 
So William Bridges and his book 

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Transitions says that change is 
actually external. 

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So that's something like 
changing jobs while transition 

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is actually an internal process.
So William Bridges actually 

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outlines 3 stages. 
There's ending neutral zone and 

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new beginnings. 
I really love this framework and

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especially how it names and like
titles each of the stages. 

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So often people including me 
will rush to the new beginning 

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and not even process what just 
happened, whether it's a career 

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change, whether it's a change in
relationship or a friendship. 

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I think for me, since I'm such 
like a go go go type a person, 

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I'm like, OK, how do I execute 
and just do the next thing? 

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Because honestly that's what 
keeps me from processing like a 

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lot of the like hurtful or bad 
or sad emotions. 

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But so much of it is staying in 
the neutral zone, reflecting 

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before starting in the new 
beginning. 

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One thing we wanted to do 
throughout this episode in every

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section as we talk about each 
framework is actually give kind 

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of personal anecdotes as like a 
version of like case studies, 

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kind of like how we did in our 
earlier episodes where for the 

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case studies we talked about 
different companies or brands. 

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This time we're going to talk 
like use ourselves of the case 

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studies. 
So for me, for example, I've 

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shared before that at age 35, I 
ended my engagement after an 8 

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year long relationship. 
So that obviously was the ending

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part of this framework. 
And as I moved into the neutral 

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zone, I felt like really lost in
a lot of ways because it wasn't 

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just the ending of a 
relationship. 

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It was like the ending of the 
entire sort of conception of my 

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life. 
And like all of the next steps 

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of my life where obviously I was
going to get married, we were 

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going to have kids, we were 
going to, you know, live happily

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ever after together. 
But only by actually being in 

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and like slowly working through 
the mire of the neutral zone was

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I finally able to emerge out to 
the, the new beginning, which is

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like now, like this is my new 
beginning. 

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This is so, so different than 
anything I've ever done before. 

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But I don't think I ever would 
have been able to arrive here 

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had I not gone through the 
process of like, being sort of 

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like feeling stuck in the 
neutral zone and like trying all

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these new different things, 
which we'll talk about in the 

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later frameworks. 
And just like really being in it

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for sort of like quite what felt
like quite a while. 

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It felt like a long time to me 
because I'm also really, I think

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inherently impatient person. 
But I think that's why the 

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neutral zone is so difficult. 
Because sometimes it can feel 

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like when you're in the neutral 
zone, not a lot is happening 

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day-to-day because like, you 
know, in my neutral zone, I'm 

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like journaling, I'm going to 
the gym. 

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Things feel slow. 
But when that compounds over 

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time, when you're like super 
reflective, I'm like, oh, 

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something worked, something 
happened, you know? 

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And OK, not not to forget that I
also right before ending my 

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engagement had just left my job 
at Snapchat as head of product. 

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And that was after working at 
Snap for over 7 for seven years 

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and having worked in corporate 
for pretty much my entire 

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professional life. 
So it was like a big, it was 

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like multiple huge transitions 
and changes at the same time. 

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That's really scary. 
Yeah, it was scary, guys. 

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It was scary. 
And then I moved in. 

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Yeah. 
And we became roommates and we 

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started this new venture 
together. 

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Yeah, new beginnings. 
And we also want to give you 

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another example of someone you 
might have heard of, Steve Jobs.

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The Steve Jobs story is pretty 
infamous. 

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He was ousted by the board at 
Apple. 

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He basically lost control of his
company. 

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He was kicked out. 
And that was technically his 

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ending, as the lure goes. 
He then spent years in the 

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creative wilderness where it was
the neutral zone. 

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He was reflecting and figuring 
out his next moves. 

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And then he triumphantly 
returned to Apple, which was his

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new beginning. 
It just underscores how the 

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neutral zone tone can be a place
for fresh ideas and for setting 

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you up for your next starting 
over point. 

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We also wanted to, in this 
episode, give many exercises so 

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that you could actually practice
the framework IRL. 

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So the one for transitions is to
jot down 1 area of your life 

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that you feel like there is an 
impending ending or is like 

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actually ending or has just 
ended, and then write down how 

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you feel about it. 
And then next, write down one 

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possibility that could bloom if 
you actually fully embrace the 

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neutral zone. 
And we'd love to learn about 

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what you guys write if you're 
open to sharing with us in the 

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comments. 
After you finish this exercise, 

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we'd love to hear from you in 
the comments about your new 

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possibilities. 
And just a reminder, this 

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transition framework can apply 
to so many things. 

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It can apply to career, romance,
friendship, basically anything. 

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So it's a time for reflection. 
And up next, we'll talk about 

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Carol Dweck's growth mindset 
framework. 

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So I'm really excited to talk 
about this topic. 

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I read this book a long time ago
and Carol Dweck is actually a 

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professor at Stanford, so I hold
this very close to my heart. 

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In Carol Dweck's book, she talks
about two different types of 

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mindset, a fixed mindset or a 
growth mindset. 

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And a fixed mindset is basically
believing within yourself. 

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Either I'm good at something or 
I'm not. 

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A growth mindset is that I can 
learn something and with enough 

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effort and perseverance, I can 
figure it out. 

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And I think what's really 
important to distinguish is that

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some people ironically are like,
oh, like I'm not a growth 

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mindset person or I am a growth 
mindset person. 

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That actually goes against the 
entire concept of growth mindset

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because you're not one person or
another. 

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It's just a mindset. 
So anybody, even if you 

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previously had a fixed mindset, 
you can adopt A growth mindset 

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going forward. 
So the growth mindset to adopt A

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growth mindset. 
Yes, exactly. 

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But that's just something that I
want to emphasize because like 

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sometimes people are so like, 
you know, like sort of like been

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in their ways for so long. 
They've been in that fixed 

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mindset for such a long time 
that they almost couldn't 

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imagine themselves being a 
growth mindset person. 

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But it's just a mindset shift. 
It's not inherent to your being,

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you know what I mean? 
People with growth mindset are 

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able to push through obstacles, 
whereas people with a more fixed

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mindset, when they're faced with
obstacles, they're like, oh God,

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this is just another reason why 
you know XYZ can't happen. 

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Like it feels like they're very 
stuck and instead of seeing an 

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obstacle as something that you 
can like go around or figure 

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out, it's just an obstacle in 
their way. 

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And so I felt a huge need to 
develop a growth mindset, 

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although I didn't have this 
terminology for it in college. 

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And I especially felt this when 
I was studying computer science.

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And because I was able to, you 
know, major in computer science,

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really tough it out and seek all
the resources and study and work

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my ass off for it. 
I'm just like, I was able to do 

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that. 
I feel like I'm able to do 

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anything now. 
And it's like given me a growth 

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mindset that like I can do hard 
things. 

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And it actually kind of even 
more than that. 

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I'm like, I did, that was like 
the hardest thing of my life 

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doing like, you know, all 
nighters and studying it like it

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was a grueling major for me. 
And I'm so happy I did it and I 

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enjoyed it along the way. 
But I'm like, if I can do that, 

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I can basically do anything. 
Yeah. 

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And that is just like where my 
growth mindset is like rooted so

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deeply in my body that I'm like,
any challenge, I can figure it 

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out. 
Yeah, you know, I so to that I 

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think that having a growth 
mindset is actually one of my 

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like self identified most 
defining factors actually, 

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because I feel like if I hadn't 
had a growth mindset, I never 

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would have taken the path that I
did. 

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Because even honestly, my first 
job out of school working at 

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Goldman, I took that job like 
not even really knowing how to 

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use Excel. 
I swear to God, I, I swear I did

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not know how to use Excel except
for like we use it a few times 

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in these statistics class like 
statistics and econometrics 

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classes that I had to take. 
But that's different like then 

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it's. 
Different than creating like a 

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DCF model or. 
Something it's actually, it's 

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different from actually using 
Excel in like a workplace 

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setting where you have to do it 
as fast as you can and as 

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accurately as you can. 
So like I sort of like threw 

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myself into the deep end and 
like threw myself to the wolves 

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in a way. 
And I was able to eventually 

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like learn, like to be clear, I 
was never became like an Excel 

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whiz. 
I was never even in the top 50% 

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of people who are like good at 
using Excel at work, especially 

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as an analyst. 
But I was able to still be a 

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very good top performing 
analyst. 

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And because I was able to like 
do that, that's how I even had 

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the courage to be like, hey, 
yeah, like I'll be a product 

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manager. 
Like there are a lot, like a lot

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of things I don't know about 
product management. 

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Well, I don't know anything 
about product management 

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actually. 
But I feel like I have the 

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inherent skill to be able to 
learn things quickly and work 

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hard and try my best and like 
all these, these other things so

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that, like, I will learn how to 
be an excellent product manager,

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just like I learned how to be an
excellent, you know, financial 

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analysts at Goldman Sachs. 
And then, like, same thing for, 

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like, everything in our lives, 
even what we're doing now. 

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00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,200
Yeah. 
Like, I've never been in front 

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00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,280
of the camera before. 
I've never like talked about my 

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personal life and my experiences
or like shared my learnings with

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00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,160
people before, but I'm like, 
yeah, I can do it. 

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I don't know. 
I don't know. 

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I hope I'm doing a good job with
Up to you. 

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Nice comments for Jean. 
We read every single one of 

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them. 
If you like Jean being on 

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camera, she's vulnerable. 
She's taking a lot of courage to

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be here. 
We love that. 

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Yeah. 
I'm still new to those guys, but

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but I was just like, sure, I'll 
do it. 

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Like I'll just throw myself into
it and I think it'll be fun and 

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I'll be developing a new, a new 
skill and like a new side of 

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Maine. 
And it's been really fun and I'm

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it's very rewarding. 
So I think all of that, like my 

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entire career, can be sort of 
chalked up to the fact that I 

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had a growth mindset that any of
this stuff even happened. 

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00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,560
Yeah. 
And also what we're working on 

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now with Sisters Matcha, our 
Matcha brand that we started 

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like last July, August, like we 
have only worked in like digital

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products for our professional 
careers, right. 

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So like we are product managers 
at tech companies, but now we 

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have a PPG company, a consumer 
packaged good. 

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It's like a physical thing that 
we're selling and it's also a 

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consumable, which is so 
different from. 

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That so wild, so crazy wild to 
me. 

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And also so. 
Fun. 

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00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,240
It's so fun, yeah. 
If you if what we're saying kind

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of resonates with you and you're
like, you like challenges and 

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00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:13,200
you like learning, then like a 
growth mindset is a great thing 

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00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:17,360
to adopt so that you 
continuously learn more and also

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learn faster. 
Like in this last year, we're 

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doing completely new things and 
I'm having the time of my life. 

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It is so fun. 
And it's so scary too. 

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00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,480
Like on the other side of it, 
it's just like, holy crap, I'm 

254
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,080
doing things I've never done 
before. 

255
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,440
I don't know if I'm doing it 
right. 

256
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,080
Yeah, I don't know if I'm doing 
like. 

257
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,240
A good job. 
We don't know anyone in the 

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00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,080
industry to like, help us. 
Like we're kind of just like 

259
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,080
figuring it out. 
Like you know how people are 

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00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,240
saying you're like building the 
airplane and flying it as you 

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00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,760
go. 
It's kind of what we're doing. 

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00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,360
But also like, I like it, in 
addition to like not knowing, 

263
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,280
I'm also trying my hardest. 
And because I believe in it and 

264
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:57,240
love it so much that like I can 
try my hardest and give 120% 

265
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,800
with no regrets, you know what I
mean? 

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00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,880
Because we're working for 
ourselves. 

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00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,640
I wouldn't give 120% if I were 
working for the man, but you 

268
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,680
know what I mean? 
Like I just wouldn't care as 

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00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,240
much. 
So I guess with the growth 

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mindset, it's just like 
fulfilling so much of what I 

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care about. 
And I'm so excited to have a 

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00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,400
growth mindset too. 
Yeah. 

273
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:19,120
And I guess the last thing I'll 
say on a more personal note when

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I am looking for a partner and 
like in dating someone 

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00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,440
romantically. 
Oh oh. 

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00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,080
I. 
We do say our podcast is about 

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money, power and love. 
Yes. 

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00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,400
And so this is the love 
component. 

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00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:36,360
I will only be with a person if 
they have a growth mindset like 

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00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,760
they, because a growth mindset 
is important for work. 

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00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,840
That's kind of what we're 
talking about, But it's also it 

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00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,560
was so important for 
relationships instead of someone

283
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,640
being like this is who like if 
we fight or get into an argument

284
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,280
like this is who I am, blah, 
blah, blah. 

285
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,680
Like don't try to change me. 
Like I'm not trying to change 

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00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,840
anyone, but we should be able to
grow together. 

287
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:58,400
If we're like going to be a 
pair, we need to be able to move

288
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,800
in the same direction. 
And that can mean both of us 

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00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,000
being flexible and growing and 
learning together. 

290
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:07,280
I totally agree because aside 
from the aspect where you're, I 

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00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,400
don't know, like if you're in an
argument or something with 

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someone who has a fixed versus 
growth mindset, I think it's 

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00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,640
just like your everyday 
interactions with someone. 

294
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,320
I feel like it's almost kind of 
like a person who is a default 

295
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,200
no versus a person who's like 
default yes. 

296
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,480
Yeah. 
Right. 

297
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,440
Like or even. 
Just like a default, maybe like,

298
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,600
you know what I mean? 
Just like not a hard no, yeah, 

299
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,360
which is just more fun to live 
that way. 

300
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:35,360
Yeah, like I recently. 
Should I tell a personal story? 

301
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,040
Oh my God, I'm scared. 
I'm like terrified. 

302
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,400
I don't know what's going to 
come out of your mouth. 

303
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:43,800
OK, if it's not good we can cut 
it but no this is just random. 

304
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:49,280
I recently was supposed to go to
this Broadway rave with my 

305
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,440
girlfriend who loves Broadway. 
As one does Seth. 

306
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:56,040
With Broadway and we like found 
this Broadway rave. 

307
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,240
So we were like lol like this is
hilarious. 

308
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,560
And then my other friend was 
supposed to come. 

309
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,760
She couldn't come at the last 
minute. 

310
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:07,720
So I was going to go from a date
to this Broadway rave. 

311
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:11,560
But since we had this extra 
ticket, I just asked my date. 

312
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,800
I was like, hey, like, do you 
want to come to this Broadway 

313
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,560
rave with me? 
And like, this is not a person 

314
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:21,400
who I think has, like, ever, 
like, not a Broadway person, not

315
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,120
a theater person at all. 
And he was just like, yeah, 

316
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,560
sure, yeah, that'll be fun. 
And then he went, and he had 

317
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,920
like the time of his life. 
Is that growth mindset or does 

318
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:33,160
he just like you? 
Or does he just want to spend 

319
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,200
more time with you? 
I thought it was gross mindset. 

320
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,200
Well, I'm glad. 
Maybe it's a combination? 

321
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,280
It's a combination of both and. 
Wow my long accent is coming out

322
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,480
for some reason because I'm 
embarrassed. 

323
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:48,720
It's a combination and I'm glad 
you told that story because that

324
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,240
was a safe story. 
I didn't know, I really. 

325
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,880
Didn't know what stories did you
think I was gonna? 

326
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,400
Tell we won't go there, should 
we? 

327
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,200
Keep it in. 
Should we keep this in? 

328
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,600
That's for subscribers only. 
Just kidding, we don't have a 

329
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,400
subscription service. 
But anyway, should we? 

330
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,960
I I wanted to say on the love 
part. 

331
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:12,720
Another personal anecdote is 
that I have two friends who are 

332
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,960
married and they were telling me
more about their relationship 

333
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:21,440
and a mantra that like they 
share is they ask each other 

334
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,480
after a long day, they both 
work, they ask each other like 

335
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,800
how can I love you better? 
Whoa, yes, yes. 

336
00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:29,560
Who day? 
See you later. 

337
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,520
Beep and beep. 
And they're like, you know, 

338
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,200
happily married, recently 
married, but like that's 

339
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,320
something that's been a fixture 
of their relationship is that 

340
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:43,280
they ask each other that. 
And I love the story or just 

341
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,560
even that mantra because like I 
aspire to have a relationship 

342
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,520
like that where it's so rooted 
in growth and like, how can I be

343
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,720
better? 
Not that I'm doing anything 

344
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,960
wrong, but I just want to like 
continually grow and be better 

345
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,640
and like, love you better. 
I think that's a very beautiful 

346
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,520
thing. 
It's so intentional. 

347
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,280
It is I want that. 
I want that for me. 

348
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,080
She's, yeah. 
She wants the book. 

349
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,400
She wants the, you know. 
You know, yeah, Yeah. 

350
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,280
Like, how can I love you better 
every day? 

351
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,800
How can I love you better every 
day? 

352
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:16,320
Don't answer that. 
OK. 

353
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,240
And before we move on to the 
next framework, just a really 

354
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:24,240
quick mini exercise for you guys
to do is 1, identify a limiting 

355
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,360
belief that you have and then 
two, rewrite it with a growth 

356
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:32,280
mindset approach. 
So an example of this, we talked

357
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,160
about it in one of our previous 
episodes, but I learned this at 

358
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,880
Stanford and it's basically 
manifestation but better. 

359
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,800
One of our, one of my 
professors, Joel Peterson, he 

360
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,560
has these mantras and they were 
based off of his previous 

361
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,080
limiting beliefs. 
So for example, one of his 

362
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,440
limiting beliefs is that he 
thought he was a very emotional 

363
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,240
person, like he let his emotions
get the best of him sometimes. 

364
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,400
So he turned that around and 
instead of having his emotions 

365
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:04,880
control him, his new mantra or 
what he, you know, how he talks 

366
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,560
to himself as he says, I am not 
my emotions. 

367
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,120
So that's just one very quick 
example of a limiting belief 

368
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,320
that you might have and one way 
to turn it on its head. 

369
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,080
Now try the exercise on your 
own. 

370
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,120
And let us know in the comments 
what you write down. 

371
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,360
I feel like a teacher. 
The last framework we're going 

372
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,880
to talk about today is a concept
popularized by Stanford called 

373
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,560
Design. 
Thinking this framework, called 

374
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,320
Designing Your Life, helps you 
cut wasted time by allowing you 

375
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:37,000
to quickly test your ideas. 
They have a book and also a 

376
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,600
class at Stanford where they 
teach this to students. 

377
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,840
I didn't get the chance to take 
the class at Stanford, but many 

378
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,840
of my friends did, and the four 
parts of this framework are as 

379
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,600
follows. 
The first is curiosity, the 

380
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,880
second is prototyping 
experiences, the third is 

381
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,840
reframing problems, and the 4th 
is radical collaboration. 

382
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,520
So this framework emphasizes 
action and taking small 

383
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:04,640
experiments over, like endless 
thought exercises and pondering.

384
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,640
So one way I applied this 
framework in my own life is that

385
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,480
after I finally left Snap after 
working there for seven years, I

386
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,800
wanted to try out a bunch of 
different things that basically 

387
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,400
I'd never done in my life. 
Like I was kind of trying to 

388
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,160
figure out what I want to do 
next before I decided to start 

389
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,160
this company with Cherie Sisters
Worldwide. 

390
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:26,480
And one thing that I have always
loved is fashion. 

391
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,440
And like basically at every 
point in my life where I could 

392
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,840
do like take on a job or like a 
new career before, aside from 

393
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,200
the job that I actually ended up
doing, I looked at many 

394
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:41,360
different like roles in fashion.
So finally I had this 

395
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,680
opportunity to like work in 
fashion. 

396
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,680
So what I ended up doing is I 
took this unpaid internship 

397
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,160
where I worked at a place called
the Albright Fashion Library in 

398
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,000
LA where I actually worked as a 
stylist. 

399
00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:00,800
And it was like one of the most 
fun and like fulfilling things 

400
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,440
I've ever done. 
And it's not like it was like 

401
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,600
particularly glamorous. 
Like I feel like, you know, 20% 

402
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,280
of the time my job was to like 
rearrange the like massive shoe 

403
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,240
closet. 
So like, it's not like I was, 

404
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:18,360
you know, like doing like a 
super high-powered like job at, 

405
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,920
you know, a Parisian couture 
house or something like that. 

406
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:25,480
But it was just so fun to be 
able to like be in the industry 

407
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,480
and finally test out this 
hypothesis that I had had for 

408
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,200
like 20 something years of like,
do I actually want to work in 

409
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:36,080
the fashion industry or do I 
just want to be, you know, like 

410
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:41,000
a participant through sort of 
like consumption and enjoying 

411
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,560
it. 
So that was something where, 

412
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,800
yeah, like, I've basically like 
invented this internship for 

413
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,440
myself where I worked there one 
day a week for the whole day. 

414
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:55,560
It shows to me how action 
oriented you are and kind of to 

415
00:21:55,560 --> 00:22:00,880
tie together this framework with
the first framework that we 

416
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,360
talked about with transitions. 
I think it's really important 

417
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,880
that after doing some reflection
and you know, you're in the 

418
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,560
neutral zone, figuring out what 
you want to do next, you were 

419
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,400
able to test out this new 
beginning with an internship. 

420
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,680
It was like a mini test to see 
if you liked it or not and to 

421
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,240
see, you know, what your next 
moves would be after you gather 

422
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,720
information from the external 
world. 

423
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:30,200
So I think it's so cool that you
were able to, you know, reflect 

424
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,480
and then figure out your next 
moves. 

425
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,320
Yeah. 
And then also like create this 

426
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,960
opportunity. 
For myself, a lot of people in 

427
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,240
general, I think feel very 
paralyzed. 

428
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:43,320
I know I often do if like I'm 
stuck and I'm like, I don't know

429
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,640
what to do next. 
So that like having this design 

430
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,720
thinking framework allows you to
break out of the paralysis and 

431
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,440
be like, let me at least test 
something and try something 

432
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,560
because I know with the growth 
mindset, I will learn some thing

433
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,600
no matter if it goes well or 
not. 

434
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,440
I might fail and that's fine, 
but that means I'm learning. 

435
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,800
Yeah, I love how you tied those 
mindsets together. 

436
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,120
Yeah, it's very nice. 
Thank you. 

437
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,120
Well done. 
Brava. 

438
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,600
Okay, so now it's time for the 
mini exercise. 

439
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,640
So the mini exercise for this is
to think about an area that you 

440
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,720
want to pivot. 
And then next brainstorm 2 

441
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,520
experiments you can do. 
They can be like really, really 

442
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,520
tiny experiments. 
They don't have to be massive, 

443
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,600
but think about two experiments 
that you can do to actually test

444
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:33,040
out the pivot. 
And if you want, you can share 

445
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,320
your pivot or you can share your
experiment in the comments so 

446
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,600
that you can have some social 
accountability. 

447
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,920
We'll be reading them, Yeah. 
And if you leave a comment about

448
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,440
it, I, we will read them and 
respond to them. 

449
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:45,560
Oh. 
Yeah. 

450
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,760
So should we wrap up, Cherie? 
Yes, we should. 

451
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,440
To wrap up, we talked about 3 
frameworks today. 

452
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,920
One, the William Bridges 
Transition Framework, 2, Carol 

453
00:23:55,920 --> 00:24:00,240
Dweck's Growth Mindset framework
and three, Bill Burnett and Dave

454
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,120
Evans Design Your Life 
Framework. 

455
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,240
So you can think about these 
individually or you can try and 

456
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,120
combine them, but we hope this 
was really helpful for you guys.

457
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,840
Yeah, and if you found this 
helpful, help us reach 1,000,000

458
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,440
by sharing this with your 
friends. 

459
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,680
And also obviously, like, 
comment and subscribe and rate 

460
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,600
US five stars on Apple Podcasts 
and Spotify. 

461
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,920
It's a long list, but you know, 
you can do all of them. 

462
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,400
We believe in you. 
Thank you guys so much for 

463
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,800
supporting our podcast and for 
tuning in. 

464
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,400
We'll see you next time. 
Bye. 

465
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That's sofi.com/tiger. 
OK, pause. 

482
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,200
That was the emotional map of. 
Starting over and like we 

483
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,400
mentioned before, if you're in 
it right now, you are not crazy 

484
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:41,000
if it feels so slow to you 
because the neutral zone like we

485
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,400
were talking about before is 
where things actually built. 

486
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,760
Now we're switching to the daily
operating system. 

487
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,120
This is what really moves you 
forward when you're in the thick

488
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,680
of it. 
Atomic Habits vulnerability and 

489
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,400
rewriting your narrative. 
This is the toolkit. 

490
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,200
Welcome back. 
So the first topic we're going 

491
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,560
to go over is James Clear's 
Atomic Habits and why it's 

492
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,440
relevant for starting over. 
I'm so excited to talk about 

493
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,360
this. 
I read this book a few years ago

494
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:07,920
and it's still something that I 
think about every single week. 

495
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,520
Experts say that 90% of people 
who start a new habit end up 

496
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,040
quitting at day 10. 
And we're going to show you how 

497
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,800
to be that successful 10% that 
sticks with it. 

498
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,520
Yeah, because when reinventing 
yourself, huge goals can be kind

499
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,280
of paralyzing. 
And so the good thing about 

500
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,720
Atomic Habits is that 
essentially it breaks things 

501
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,440
down into mini goals that you 
can actually achieve, so that 

502
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,400
you can be that 10 percent that 
actually keeps your goals as 

503
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,040
opposed to the 90% that fall 
off. 

504
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,840
In James Clear's book Atomic 
Habits, he teaches to one make 

505
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,800
it obvious, 2 make it 
attractive, three make it easy, 

506
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,600
and four make it satisfying, it 
being the habit. 

507
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,440
Yeah. 
And I feel like a really big 

508
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:54,200
part of his book is the idea or 
the concept of being like self 

509
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,360
identifying yourself with that 
habit. 

510
00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:00,520
So for example, like being like,
yeah, I am a person that goes to

511
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,840
the gym three times a week or 
like, yeah, I'm an active 

512
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,120
person. 
That's why I go to the gym three

513
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,000
times a week. 
I think that's like one of his 

514
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,880
like main premises, right? 
That's one of the big takeaways.

515
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,360
It's like, how do you make that 
your identity? 

516
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:15,840
Like I am a healthy person. 
What would a healthy person do? 

517
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,840
They would eat healthy. 
They would go to the gym. 

518
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,520
And when you embrace that 
identity, it makes it harder to 

519
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,120
break the habit. 
You want to keep going? 

520
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,720
Yeah. 
So bringing in a personal case 

521
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:30,440
study or an example that I bring
this into my life is that I have

522
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,400
a habit of trying to go to the 
gym every single day for 30 days

523
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,240
in a row. 
It's really hard to not break 

524
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,440
that chain. 
But something that I do is that 

525
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:43,680
I make it very clear and visual.
So I have a calendar that shows 

526
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,960
each day that I go to the gym. 
I put an X on my calendar and it

527
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,560
creates this chain that I can 
see right in front of me. 

528
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,400
I don't want to break the chain.
And it is very satisfying when I

529
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,680
go to the gym, I come back and I
make an X on my calendar and I'm

530
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,920
like, huh? 
I feel so relieved that I'm able

531
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:02,760
to keep this going. 
So that's one very clear 

532
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:07,680
example, James, clear example of
how I bring this into my life. 

533
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,960
And if you guys want to do 
something similar, Gene and I 

534
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,360
have a habit tracker that we 
created for you. 

535
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,960
It's a digital downloadable that
is LinkedIn. 

536
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,480
This video description, it's 
free, you can download it. 

537
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,440
It's a calendar and it shows all
the days of the year so that you

538
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,760
can track your habits. 
Yeah, I think that concept of 

539
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,840
Don't Break the Chain is pretty 
like famous and well known. 

540
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,800
It's used by a lot of people. 
One that I remember is 

541
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:35,480
apparently like Jerry Seinfeld, 
he sort of forced himself to 

542
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:39,120
continue to, like, write more 
jokes by doing don't break the 

543
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,360
chain For like every single day 
he would come up with a new joke

544
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,240
and like, he would make the X on
his calendar to be like, OK, I 

545
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,240
came up with a new joke today, 
XXX. 

546
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,440
So that's kind of how he like 
got better at his craft. 

547
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,520
Yeah, and how do you apply 
atomic habits to your daily 

548
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,040
life? 
Yeah, For me, I think it's the 

549
00:28:56,040 --> 00:29:00,840
example of once I became single 
again this past year and I 

550
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,320
started dating, I was like, OK, 
the first part of that is just 

551
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:08,160
like making myself get out there
and like, interact with people 

552
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,200
in the world. 
So I kind of took on the 

553
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,480
identity of being like, OK, I'm 
a person that says yes to 

554
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,520
different invitations. 
So even if it's something I 

555
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,960
would normally maybe not say yes
to, I'm going to say yes to it 

556
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:26,800
and like try to aim to go to, 
you know, three things. 

557
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,520
I would normally not go to like 
3 * a month or something like 

558
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:34,120
that. 
Like an underground Berlin rave.

559
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,080
Like what do? 
We mean, sure, Yeah. 

560
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,680
Like just anything like I need 
to like kind of, you know, break

561
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,400
up the old routine and start 
doing new things so that I can 

562
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,880
be, like out there in the world 
to meet people. 

563
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,560
So that actually it worked 
really well because I remember 

564
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,480
this is like back in February, 
but one of my friends had a 

565
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,000
Super Bowl party and it was also
kind of a going away party. 

566
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:00,000
And I wasn't, I probably like 
wouldn't usually go cuz I don't 

567
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,640
really like watch football, I 
guess. 

568
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,240
But then I went and then I ended
up like meeting this guy that 

569
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,600
was his like childhood friend 
that I was dating for a while. 

570
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:12,080
So I feel like it works. 
And it all stemmed from me 

571
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,520
being, like, taking on the 
identity of being like, yeah, 

572
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:19,280
I'm someone who says yes to 
social invitations, even if even

573
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,120
if maybe in the past I would 
have said yes to them. 

574
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,800
Yeah, and when you go out, it 
opens up more opportunity and 

575
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:29,080
serendipity to meet new people. 
So by having that habit and 

576
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,080
figuring out a way to implement 
it in your life, it also opened 

577
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,840
up many new doors. 
Yeah. 

578
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,280
And it's something I guess like 
it's something you can sort of 

579
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,960
remind yourself of and take on 
again and again. 

580
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,360
Because I will say, like in the 
last month, like we've been so 

581
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,360
busy and just like travelling so
much. 

582
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,720
Like we were like in Japan, we 
were in Asia, we were in Vidcon.

583
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:54,040
Like we were just kind of like 
not really, you know, around and

584
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:58,080
just like working all the time 
that it's almost like this is a 

585
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,080
really good reminder for me to 
sort of like take on that 

586
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,600
identity again and be like, oh, 
I'm a person that says yes to 

587
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,920
things. 
So that I'm going to like, go 

588
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,240
back out there and like be 
active and meet people in the 

589
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:11,840
world. 
So it's like a good reminder for

590
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,480
me too, even just doing this 
episode. 

591
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:18,600
For sure, because starting over,
it has such a scary connotation 

592
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,120
to it. 
But I think one take away I 

593
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,920
would like everyone else to go 
away with is that starting over 

594
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,800
doesn't have to be such a big 
monumental thing. 

595
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,240
There are also little ways that 
you can start over and keep your

596
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,440
life moving forward. 
I think often times people wait 

597
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:37,120
until the New Year's for the 
giant, like New Year's 

598
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,880
resolution in January, and 
that's why everyone gets to the 

599
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,440
gym then and then people fall 
off. 

600
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,200
But like, I honestly take, you 
know, if you can have the 

601
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,320
beginning of every month being a
starting over point or creating 

602
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,880
checkpoints, so it's not just 
once a year, but giving yourself

603
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,960
many opportunities to start 
anew. 

604
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,680
I think that's a really 
beautiful thing. 

605
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,720
Yeah. 
And I think like, maybe this is 

606
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,240
sort of a controversial take or 
like a hot take or something, 

607
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,880
but I think starting over and 
like, or more so the concept of 

608
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,160
reinventing yourself is really 
fun. 

609
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,840
And like, what a gift, what like
a special, like what an 

610
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,600
opportunity we have that we can 
sort of continually reinvent 

611
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,200
ourselves all the time. 
I think that's something that I 

612
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:24,120
didn't really realize until I I 
didn't really like realize the 

613
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:28,320
power of until recently. 
Yeah, because change is scary, I

614
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,600
think. 
Yeah, most people 

615
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:35,080
psychologically and myself 
included do not want change. 

616
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:39,800
Like we're very as humans very 
adverse to change, right? 

617
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,480
Like we don't want change a 
verse. 

618
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,240
Did I say the right adverse a 
verse, a verse We're very change

619
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,280
a verse. 
So if it does happen and it's 

620
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,160
forced upon us, it can be very 
uncomfortable, but it can also 

621
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,520
lead to very beautiful things if
you take it in stride. 

622
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,520
And you also have these 
frameworks that we're talking 

623
00:32:56,520 --> 00:33:00,280
about to really put in the right
frame, like frameworks in place 

624
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,680
so you can be successful. 
Yeah, well, and you know how 

625
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,800
like people always say, oh, it's
not that I feel scared, it's not

626
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,640
that I feel nervous, it's that I
actually feel excited. 

627
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,920
You know, that's just a mindset 
shift. 

628
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,120
So there are a couple of these 
things that you can do, starting

629
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,800
with James Clear's Atomic 
Habits, and we're going to get 

630
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,520
into the next topic, which is 
vulnerability with Brené Brown. 

631
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,960
I've already been pretty 
vulnerable actually. 

632
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:30,080
Before we move on, let's do our 
mini exercise, all right, which 

633
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,960
is pick one goal that you have 
for yourself and then break it 

634
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:38,040
down into a bunch of different 
tiny steps or like very small 

635
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:42,040
habits and then figure out a way
to make it like James Clear says

636
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:46,400
obvious, attractive, easy and 
satisfying, and then write it 

637
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,480
down. 
Yes, and we'd love to hear from 

638
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,840
you if you can share with us in 
the comments what your goal is 

639
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,880
and how you're going to try and 
break it down. 

640
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,080
We read every single comment and
we'll try to reply to as many as

641
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,200
we can. 
Yeah, because we want to be on 

642
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,280
this journey together with you. 
And what we've seen from 

643
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:06,440
research from Duke University is
that actually 45%, so literally 

644
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,800
almost half of all of your daily
actions are habitual. 

645
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,800
And so let's build the right 
habits together. 

646
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,719
And up next, we're going to talk
about how to harness 

647
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,440
vulnerability through Brene 
Brown's research. 

648
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,400
OK, let's start off with a stat,
which is that 84% of people 

649
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,639
admitted that they don't even 
tell their very closest friends 

650
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,960
about major life changes because
they fear judgement. 

651
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,320
But what Brené Brown has found 
in her research is that 

652
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,239
vulnerability between, 
especially between friends is 

653
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,360
what actually strengthens 
connections. 

654
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,199
OK, Sheree, maybe you can tell 
us a little bit more about this 

655
00:34:39,199 --> 00:34:40,800
framework. 
So I think the first thing to 

656
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,040
note is that it takes a ton of 
courage to be vulnerable. 

657
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,239
It's like a super scary thing to
open up. 

658
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,960
But what people don't realize is
that it can also open up a lot 

659
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,920
of opportunities as well. 
So the first thing is that if 

660
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,280
you share what you're going 
through with people, especially 

661
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,680
if you share like a new habit 
you want want to build, it can 

662
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,840
create a lot of momentum for 
social accountability. 

663
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,240
So you don't have to do it 
alone. 

664
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,480
For example, if I want to get 
healthy for this year and go to 

665
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,080
the gym, I can share that goal. 
They can be my social 

666
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,280
accountability buddy in that 
way. 

667
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,200
And another way I can open up 
opportunities is that if you 

668
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,200
bring vulnerability into your 
life, This is 1 very specific 

669
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,520
example that I've seen, is that 
with recent layoffs that have 

670
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:23,320
been going on, people have come 
on to LinkedIn to post and to 

671
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,160
share that they've lost their 
job, which is a really scary 

672
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:28,920
thing to share. 
And honestly, I don't know if I 

673
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:33,440
would be able to do that because
I feel a lot of nervousness and 

674
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,880
shame around that, which I don't
think other people who are 

675
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,040
reading it feel they feel more 
empathy. 

676
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,160
But if you post about that and 
share more about your life in a 

677
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,640
vulnerable way, I've also seen 
people get job opportunities 

678
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,240
because they've shared about 
their layoff. 

679
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,440
Yeah, exactly. 
I love that you bring that up 

680
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,960
because shame versus empathy is 
one of those really main 

681
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,000
constructs in Brene Brown's book
Daring Greatly. 

682
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,040
And when you admit that you're 
unsure or that you need help, 

683
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,080
you're really like inviting 
people in to support you. 

684
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,200
I think another example that I 
can think of for ourselves is 

685
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,920
just starting on this new 
venture of Tiger Sisters. 

686
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:14,920
Like that's something that I and
you have been very, very open 

687
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,960
about to everyone from the very 
beginning, which is that we're 

688
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,920
starting this new venture. 
It's based around a podcast, 

689
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,440
it's content to commerce. 
These are all things that we 

690
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,400
have never done. 
We've never like actually worked

691
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,520
in media before either of us. 
We've always worked in tech or 

692
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,880
finance. 
And so like I've gone into a lot

693
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:36,560
of conversations being like, 
hey, I don't know anything 

694
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,640
really or like, I don't even 
know what I know. 

695
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,880
Like I would love to, to learn 
from you. 

696
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,920
And I think that that has been 
really helpful for us because 

697
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,800
we're coming at it from a 
position of or from a 

698
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,800
perspective of being like we're 
open to learning. 

699
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,880
And the first part of that is 
being like, hey, we admit to not

700
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,880
knowing things. 
Like we're not experts by any 

701
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,120
means. 
And I think people might view 

702
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:02,600
that as a weakness, but I also 
view that, like we said before, 

703
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,600
as an invitation for help and 
maybe sharing your weaknesses 

704
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,720
could be a strength as well in 
that way. 

705
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,040
If you feel hesitant about 
sharing your like quote, UN 

706
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,120
quote weakness or like being 
vulnerable in that way, I guess 

707
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:19,320
one way I don't even actively 
think about it this way, but I 

708
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,320
think it's just like inherent to
my approach to it is that I'm 

709
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:28,000
like, well, I am not an expert 
in this area, but I know I'm an 

710
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,320
expert in many other areas, 
right? 

711
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:34,760
Like I believe in my own ability
and I know I'm smart and I know 

712
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,960
I can like learn. 
I just have a lot of self 

713
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,800
belief, but I just have no 
experience in this area. 

714
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:43,240
So like there's nothing wrong 
with being unexperienced, you 

715
00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:45,840
know? 
So maybe that's like a kind of 

716
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:50,400
mindset that you can take on if 
you want to kind of reveal your 

717
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:54,760
vulnerability to people to be 
like, yeah, like I am not an 

718
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:56,880
expert in this area. 
I'm an expert in other areas. 

719
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,760
It's just it's good to. 
It's like when a recruiter asks 

720
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,280
you what your greatest weakness 
is, and you're like, my greatest

721
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,840
weakness is that I can learn 
anything. 

722
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,480
My greatest weakness is I don't 
know everything but I can learn 

723
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,520
anything. 
Is that what I sound like? 

724
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,840
It's just funny, I mean, but it,
I think it's just very naturally

725
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,400
how you feel and a very positive
outlook because you have a lot 

726
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,920
of self belief. 
My greatest weakness is I have 

727
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,760
too much self. 
You know, it's like when you're 

728
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,040
trying to make a weakness sound 
like a strength. 

729
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:28,840
In an interview, no. 
That's when you're always like, 

730
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,240
my greatest weakness is that I'm
a perfectionist. 

731
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,080
Don't say that. 
If you're doing an interview, do

732
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,080
not say that because recruiters 
will see right through it. 

733
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,600
Yeah. 
And now that I'm Walter, I'm 

734
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,200
like, wow, that really is a 
weakness. 

735
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,040
Actually, it's come. 
It's come around full circle. 

736
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,480
Maybe you can say that again 
now. 

737
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,040
Maybe people should say that 
again. 

738
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,000
Now, I mean, that actually is my
weakness. 

739
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,200
I'm not even, I'm not even 
bullshitting, you know, that's 

740
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,080
my weakness. 
We talked. 

741
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:55,160
About it before. 
It is. 

742
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,720
It is. 
It takes me like 10 times longer

743
00:38:56,720 --> 00:39:00,200
to write an e-mail than Cherie. 
Yeah, Cherie's like, hey, can 

744
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,880
you do this? 
Yeah, my emails are very short 

745
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,640
and I don't spend more than like
if it's a really important one, 

746
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,240
I'll spend a lot of time, but if
it's like one, I'm just like, it

747
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,680
could be a few sentences and 
then you sign off and you don't 

748
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,560
think. 
About it like good morn to you 

749
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:15,680
today. 
She writes like a Shakespearean 

750
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,560
sonnet that she reads 15 times 
over. 

751
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,520
And I'm like, girl, just send 
the e-mail out. 

752
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:21,880
Just send it it. 
It's not. 

753
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,520
It's not that deep. 
I'm like top of the morn, yeah. 

754
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,160
We digress, We digress. 
OK, we do have a mini exercise 

755
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,520
for you for this section that 
we'd love to share. 

756
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:38,720
So if you can think of 1 
vulnerable moment, we would love

757
00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:40,920
for you guys to share that with 
a trusted friend. 

758
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,600
We have studies that show that 
90% of people who opened up to 

759
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:48,000
others feel less lonely, but 
most importantly, they feel even

760
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,040
more motivated to move forward 
because they've shared something

761
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,360
with their friend and they have 
more social accountability in 

762
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,120
that way. 
After you've shared with your 

763
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,840
friend, observe how this packs 
your mindset. 

764
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,760
And tell us in the comments, 
Harvard Business Review actually

765
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:07,280
found that leaders who practice 
vulnerability, such as admitting

766
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:12,480
to a mistake or asking for 
feedback are 20% more likely to 

767
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:16,400
foster high performing teams. 
So like however that you know is

768
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,320
defined, they did this whole 
study about it. 

769
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:22,160
So it's not just in your like 
personal life where it's. 

770
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:27,360
It's fruitful and actually 
effective to practice 

771
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,560
vulnerability. 
It's also can be applied in your

772
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,720
career, in your work life, 
strategically. 

773
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:34,360
OK. 
We're going to take a really 

774
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,320
quick break. 
And then when we return, we move

775
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,240
on to Esther Perel's idea of 
rewriting your story. 

776
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,880
Hey, it's Cherie. 
If you've been enjoying Tiger 

777
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,480
Sisters, hit subscribe on 
Spotify and YouTube and please 

778
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,400
leave us a five star review. 
It takes just a few seconds, but

779
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:52,200
it has a huge impact on helping 
Tiger Sisters survive and grow. 

780
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,360
Thank you so much. 
And now back to the episode. 

781
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:58,400
I'm really excited to talk about
this because I think reinvention

782
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,320
should be part of everyone's 
life. 

783
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,240
And we talked a little bit about
this before, but if you think 

784
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:06,920
about the major celebrities out 
there like Lady Gaga, Taylor 

785
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:11,560
Swift, Leonardo DiCaprio, I 
think all of these. 

786
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:16,960
Not the Leonardo DiCaprio Miley.
Cyrus Miley Cyrus You don't like

787
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,880
Leonardo DiCaprio? 
Just I don't know where you're 

788
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,320
going with Leonardo DiCaprio. 
I feel like he constantly 

789
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,080
reinvents himself in the roles 
that he takes. 

790
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,640
Oh, I thought you were like, 
first he's someone who dated a 

791
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,120
27 year old, then he's someone 
who dated a 24 year. 

792
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:33,240
Old, no, I mean, and Christian 
Bale, I don't know. 

793
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:36,680
I just like, feel like when you 
look at celebrities and the 

794
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:41,560
longevity of their careers, the 
ones that have staying power are

795
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,360
the people who can reinvent 
themselves constantly. 

796
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,480
Like Miley Cyrus. 
Like Miley Cyrus. 

797
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,000
Oh I love. 
Her go girl, go girl. 

798
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,760
She's incredible. 
Yeah, I mean, if Leonardo 

799
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,800
DiCaprio were to reinvent 
himself and date someone a 

800
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:57,680
little bit older, I think that 
might also have some staying 

801
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:01,480
power too in the media. 
But alas. 

802
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,720
But I think this is just so fun 
because we can talk about 

803
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:07,520
reinventing ourselves at any 
point in our lives. 

804
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:12,400
And the concept from Esther 
Perel is not just reinventing 

805
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:16,000
yourself, but it's specifically 
the idea of rewriting your 

806
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000
story, right? 
Rewriting your narrative. 

807
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,760
Exactly. 
In Esther Perel's book Mating in

808
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:24,800
Captivity, she specifically 
talks about this concept in the 

809
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,240
sort of framework of romantic 
relationships. 

810
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,880
So basically, she says, you 
know, you can rewrite your story

811
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,000
because if you're not the same 
person now that you were in your

812
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:38,240
20s, why do you have to be the 
same person romantically? 

813
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:43,440
Oftentimes we forget. 
I forget that we outgrow 

814
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,400
different patterns from earlier 
in our lives, and that could be 

815
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:50,120
dating, that could be friendship
and outgrowing relationships and

816
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:52,320
friendships. 
That's very much a thing that I 

817
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,640
have to keep top of mind because
it can feel super painful when 

818
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,040
it happens. 
But that's part of growth in it 

819
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,840
of itself. 
And in her book, Esther Perel 

820
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,640
says that you can reframe your 
identity as someone who fails in

821
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:08,960
relationships or friendships to 
someone who learns from past 

822
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,240
mistakes and actively builds 
healthier dynamics. 

823
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,440
And I feel like this mindset 
shift is game changing because 

824
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:19,120
honestly, relationships fail 
because you're dating. 

825
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,640
But like at the end game, you're
only supposed to marry one 

826
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:23,880
person. 
You know what I mean? 

827
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:28,240
So like, they're supposed to 
fail up until you find the 1. 

828
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,240
So I think that's like just a 
reframe of it, all right? 

829
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,560
Like they're meant to. 
You're supposed to date many, 

830
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,920
many people. 
So you're saying we should 

831
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:39,280
romantically fail upwards? 
Yes, exactly. 

832
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:44,200
Take a page out of the book of 
every man you've ever worked. 

833
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,240
With Oh my God. 
And fail upwards. 

834
00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:51,000
Romantically, yeah. 
I mean, I I think that I 

835
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:55,080
realized this or maybe I like 
internalized this very recently.

836
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,720
Like not, you're not supposed to
keep all your relationships 

837
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:02,040
right? 
You can only keep one. 

838
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,440
At the end, they're all supposed
to fail except for one. 

839
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:09,720
Yeah, and this actually reminded
me of the James Clear framework,

840
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,680
because she's saying, like, 
reframe yourself as, you know, 

841
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,760
someone who learns from 
relationships and sets up new, 

842
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,080
healthier ones. 
That's the same idea of taking 

843
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,800
on the identity. 
Yeah, internalizing. 

844
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:23,960
I am someone who learns from 
past relationships and forms 

845
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:25,360
healthier ones. 
Exactly. 

846
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,160
Wow, putting together all the 
framework. 

847
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,280
Connecting the dot live. 
We're doing it. 

848
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:31,560
Live. 
You're here with us. 

849
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:33,520
You're doing it live. 
OK. 

850
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:37,760
I feel like one example I could 
sort of uniquely give is that 

851
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,920
I've mentioned before I ended an
8 year long relationship and 

852
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,240
engagement this past year when I
was 35. 

853
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,680
So I guess like one way you 
could look at yourself is to be 

854
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:52,080
like, Oh my God, like I'm 
someone who breaks engagements 

855
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:55,240
and that's like a failed, like 
fails and only. 

856
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:59,240
Broke 1 So I feel like if you've
broken multiple a la Runaway 

857
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,800
Bride, you might take that 
identity. 

858
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,040
Don't be so hard on yourself. 
Or like you could be like, you 

859
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:05,720
know, you could think of 
yourself. 

860
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:08,360
One could think of themselves as
like, oh, I'm someone who fails 

861
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,920
in relationships. 
Or maybe you can think of 

862
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,280
yourself. 
By you, I mean me. 

863
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:19,520
You can think of yourself as 
like, wow, I'm someone who is 

864
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:26,480
brave enough and you know, I 
guess sure enough of herself to 

865
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:32,520
end A8 year long relationship, 
even when it seems like from the

866
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:36,200
outside seems to be perfect on 
paper, seems to be so great and 

867
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,440
like you've already invested so 
much into it. 

868
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:43,640
I'm someone who's brave enough 
to step away from that in search

869
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,760
of something that is actually 
better for me, like when this is

870
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,120
actually something that no 
longer works. 

871
00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,520
It takes a lot of courage. 
It takes a lot of courage. 

872
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,840
You, you are someone who is 
courageous. 

873
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:56,320
That's a very courageous thing 
to do. 

874
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,640
Yeah, Yeah. 
I just came up with that just 

875
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:00,160
now, guys. 
I was not. 

876
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:02,880
I just came up with that just 
now. 

877
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:06,400
But yeah. 
I feel that. 

878
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,800
Do you feel that in your bones 
or is it hard to internalize 

879
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,680
that? 
I mean, it's not something 

880
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:12,840
honestly, like it's not 
something that I've ever said 

881
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,840
out loud. 
Like, this is the first time 

882
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,440
I've ever really said that out 
loud. 

883
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,960
But it is something that other 
people have said to me. 

884
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,680
Like when I have told people, 
you know, oh, yeah, like, I 

885
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,440
broke my engagement. 
Like, we were together for eight

886
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,760
years, blah, blah, blah. 
They're like, wow, like you are 

887
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,040
are so brave, like you're so 
courageous and not in a way 

888
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,160
where they're like. 
You're so. 

889
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:39,960
You're so brave for posting. 
That not me without makeup. 

890
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,840
You're so brave. 
You're so brave for wearing that

891
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:46,480
bathing suit, that outfit. 
I could never wear that, but 

892
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,360
you're so brave. 
But no, I like when people say 

893
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,240
it to me. 
Like I can tell that they really

894
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:56,000
mean it because it is something 
that is so scary. 

895
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:59,160
Like it's so it's, it's kind of 
incomprehensible. 

896
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:03,840
And even to myself, like even to
me two years ago, three years 

897
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,960
ago, like a year and a half ago,
it would have been 

898
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:09,600
incomprehensible. 
But like we said earlier, that 

899
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,960
was a different person. 
Like that's that was you were a 

900
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:14,640
different person. 
I was a different person. 

901
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:18,000
That was like the old me. 
Now this is the new me. 

902
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:25,880
I'm reinvented, bitches. 
What's you gonna say? 

903
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,880
About it. 
What's you gonna do about it? 

904
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:32,400
What's you gonna do about? 
That, Yeah, this is your 

905
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,680
reinvention era in so many ways.
Yeah. 

906
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,480
And it's you guys are a part of 
it. 

907
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:39,920
It's live. 
It's happening. 

908
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,560
I think an interesting like 
exercise people could do. 

909
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,320
This is not the official mini 
exercise. 

910
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,080
This is the side mini exercise, 
side quest, side quest. 

911
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,400
I just came up with if. 
You guys are inspired to do. 

912
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,560
So is that like, maybe you can 
sort of go through that same 

913
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,520
exercise I just did? 
And if there's something that 

914
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:00,720
you're still, I guess, like, 
processing or like a part of you

915
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:05,600
that is starting over is to, 
like, think of what other people

916
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:09,280
say to you when you tell them 
about your change or your, like,

917
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:10,920
reinvention or your new 
narrative. 

918
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,680
And then start to like, say, 
like, say that out loud about 

919
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,680
yourself for the first time. 
Like, I just did it. 

920
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,880
It's kind of wild. 
Like I've never said that about 

921
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,200
myself to be like, yeah. 
And I'm really courageous and 

922
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,640
brave for choosing to do what I 
did as opposed to, you know, 

923
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,800
staying in a relationship that 
seemed, that seemed perfect in 

924
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,720
so many ways. 
It's weird. 

925
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:37,840
It's weird to like, I think it's
good though to like say it out 

926
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:43,120
loud and like take on the 
identity and like experience how

927
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:47,520
other people are viewing you. 
Yeah, because in some ways, I 

928
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:50,880
feel like people can see you 
more clearly than you can see 

929
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,240
yourself. 
Not the situation, but just like

930
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:56,920
your perception of yourself. 
And people are able to. 

931
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,280
And at least the ones who are 
able to share that with you that

932
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,640
you really respect are like, 
wait, I respect you and you 

933
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,960
respect me now. 
And like, wait, now I can 

934
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,560
understand what you see. 
It's a crazy thing. 

935
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,840
Yeah, that's the off the books 
many exercises. 

936
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:16,280
Bonus many exercise great. 
We'll give that to you for free.

937
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:20,160
So the official exercise, if 
you'd like to try another one, 

938
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:25,200
is to write down the old story 
that no longer serves you, put 

939
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,400
it down on paper, and rewrite it
in a way that reflects your 

940
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,520
growth and your future 
aspirations. 

941
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,520
What is your new story, your new
narrative that you're going to 

942
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,680
tell yourself? 
Share that story with a friend 

943
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:41,360
or with us in the comments if 
you're open to getting feedback 

944
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:44,840
and having Jean and I read that.
So yeah, we'd love to see what 

945
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,760
you guys come up with. 
OK, so just to recap, in today's

946
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,320
episode, we covered James 
Clear's atomic habits, Brene 

947
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,680
Brown's concepts of 
vulnerability, and Esther 

948
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,240
Perrell's ideas around rewriting
your narrative. 

949
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:00,520
And I think putting the three 
together, this is like the 

950
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:05,240
perfect toolkit for starting 
over, whether you're 2936 or any

951
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,200
age. 
Thank you guys so much for 

952
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:11,000
tuning in for this episode. 
Please remember to like, comment

953
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,080
and subscribe. 
It is super important if you 

954
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,040
follow and subscribe us because 
then you'll get notified when 

955
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,640
our next episode drops. 
Yeah, and I also really want to 

956
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:21,680
hear what you guys have to say 
in the comments, especially 

957
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:25,720
because I spoke so much about my
own experience this time. 

958
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,320
So like, I want to hear you guys
talking. 

959
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:28,680
About guys, she's being 
vulnerable. 

960
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,840
If you like that Gene's being 
vulnerable and opening up about 

961
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:35,400
her life and I'm opening up 
about mine, please give her some

962
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,760
support in the comments. 
We read every. 

963
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:40,640
Single part of our community and
want to know you guys are out 

964
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:42,400
there. 
And also the conversations I 

965
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,200
think are really rich and a lot 
of other people are reading 

966
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,440
other comments as well and 
feeling very encouraged by your 

967
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,560
story. 
Thanks guys, see you next time. 

968
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:55,600
Bye. 
Woo, that's Part 2. 

969
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,200
We are so proud of those two 
episodes. 

970
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:01,280
And now you guys have both the 
Emotional Map and the Practical 

971
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,360
Toolkit. 
OK, we know that's a lot. 

972
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,600
So don't try to do all of those 
six frameworks at once. 

973
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,600
Just pick one and do that 
exercise today. 

974
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:13,200
And if you really want some 
structure from us, do this day 

975
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:17,720
one transition, day 2 growth 
mindset, day three, prototype, 

976
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,760
day 4 habits, day 5 
vulnerability, day six, rewrite 

977
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:25,680
your story and day 7 reflect. 
And also don't keep. 

978
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,480
This to yourself. 
We're not gatekeeping. 

979
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,720
If you know someone who's in a 
new season of change, send this 

980
00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:33,680
episode to them. 
Also, please tell us in the 

981
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,760
comments what aspect in your 
life you're starting over in. 

982
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,320
It could be big, it could be 
small, it could be something 

983
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,960
totally trivial. 
We really, really want to hear 

984
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,680
from you guys. 
We read all the comments and 

985
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,280
we're in it with you. 
If you guys have a second, 

986
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:51,160
please like and subscribe. 
It's so important that you guys 

987
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:53,400
subscribe. 
And if you have 5 seconds, 

988
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:56,520
please rate US five stars 
because this really helps with 

989
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,160
the survival and growth of Tiger
Sisters Podcast. 

990
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,160
We'll see you guys next week. 
We'll be here with you every 

991
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:03,880
single week. 
Bye.