Welcome, welcome. If today is your first time
tuning into the show, you picked an amazing episode to launch
into. If you've been with me before,
welcome back because today we're diving deep into inner child
healing. One O 1.
I'm going to talk about and teach some tools and techniques
that are literally the foundation and the number one
tool I've used to heal my complex PTSD.
So if you're out there and you're struggling with
boundaries to either set them or uphold them.
If you are feeling like you are over serving and your
relationships, you're giving more than you're receiving.
If you get dysregulated, when you're triggered, if you have
emotions that seem a little disproportionate to what's going
on, I've got answers for you. I've got help for you.
You know, I'm whenever I'm like on Instagram or TikTok, I follow
so, so many influencers and content creators on self
development and healing work. And you always hear you've got
to do the healing work. You've got to do the healing
work, but they don't tell you how.
And I'm starting to see more of this, but this is what I'm
passionate about is the how. Now, Full disclosure, I'm not a
licensed therapist. However, I am a certified
hypnotherapist. I'm a twice certified life coach
and I've been through hundreds, if not thousands of hours of
therapy. Like no joke, I've lived it and
I've read a ton of books. So what's interesting to me
about this inner child work is I want to give you a little bit of
of a background on how it entered my aura or my orbit, my
world, my healing world. And it was about 15 years ago.
So I had signed up for a Sedona soul adventure.
I'll post a link to the bio great organization that puts
together these soul retreats. I knew something wasn't right
and if you're listening and you're like, Oh my gosh, that's
it. My soul is calling for something
different. It it is listen to that voice.
So I went on this Sedona soul adventure.
I booked the trip. I'm meeting with 11
practitioners over 5 days. They helped me organize who I
was going to talk to, what my goals and objectives were.
And then while this, the space between, OK, I've booked the
trip and now I'm waiting to take the trip was probably a span of
about 5 weeks. So I had a little bit of time
that I had to wait to take this trip.
And I just started, Oh my gosh, you can't make this stuff up.
I just started following my intuition and I found myself
driving in this neighborhood. At the time I was living in
Kirkland, WA. I was new there.
I was incredibly unhappy, like desperation unhappy.
I'm driving around the neighborhood with my dog and we
were, we were looking for a place to, I was going to take
him to a park, but I was like, I'm just going to drive around,
get to know the neighborhood and I'm going to follow my
intuition. Now this idea of just, oh, let
me just follow my intuition. I'm sure I heard of it
somewhere, but I wasn't on a ton of social media back, you know,
15 years ago. So I don't know where this came
from other than my higher self. So I started to follow my
intuition and next thing you know, I end up at Bastier
University. There was, I think it was like
an, a, a, a food day, a organic farming day, something like
that. And I was like, oh, I'll just go
stroll around there. And I remember getting out of
the parking lot, and I couldn't figure out where the entrance to
this event was from where we parked.
The signage was terrible. So I just again, followed my
intuition. Next thing you know, I'm in the
halls of the university, standing right in front of a
brochure rack, and it jumps out at me.
I'll never forget this. It jumps out at me, This
pamphlet on becoming a certified hypnotherapist.
Now this, this all ties together.
I promise you follow me. So I pick up the pamphlet and it
talks about this, this training certification course with Mary
Lee Lavey. I'll drop her link in here too.
And something inside me just screamed, Oh my gosh, yes, this
is it. I need to do this so I get home.
I talked to my my husband at the time about this certification
course. He's all in support of it.
It's like it's just calling to me.
I'd already done a life coaching certification, but I really
believed in the power of transforming your life through
changing your subconscious wiring.
That ties to this too. So I sign up for the
certification program, which was like another, I don't know, 5 or
6 months down the road. But anyhow, backtrack.
It's all coming together and all lands on inner child healing
because I go to my soul retreat and one of the practitioners
that I met with, I didn't realize it was hypnotherapy at
the time or hypnosis, whatever you want to call it.
To me it was just a meditation and a guided visualization.
I was laying. So first she had me pick these
fairy cards and Angel cards. No fairy and and goddess cards.
So I picked some cards and next thing you know, this like
beautiful story was created around the energy and the power
of these cards. And that carried into the
meditation that she led me into, which was also the same as a
guided meditation or hypnotherapy because we were
really doing work in this. And what she invited me to do
was find myself in a Meadow, beautiful Meadow with flowers.
And I'm about to greet myself, my younger self at any age that
she wanted to show up. And she showed up as a
three-year old. And I could see her wild curly
hair and this big smile on her face.
As you probably know, I'm probably going to tear up and
cry in this episode because that's what I do.
But I see her coming toward me and I'm invited to sit with her
and just get to know her a little bit.
And then the practitioner asked me to create a, a safe home for
she and I to walk into. And I just as I'm, as I'm
recounting the story, I'm like, duh, it all made sense, but I
didn't know what I couldn't, I didn't comprehend enough about
the healing work to connect everything that I was actually
experiencing. And so if any of you are, are
going down this healing path and you're confused about these
techniques or you don't know how they work, I promise it will one
day make sense. So I create this beautiful
cabin. Oh, I, I can remember like this
was 15 years ago and I can remember the cabin that I
created for myself and my little one to go into.
And then the practitioner had me create she she first said you
have parents. You have parents that did the
very best that they could with the very best that they knew.
But you know, you needed more. So today you are going to create
your ideal mother and father. And let's start with your
mother. Now for any of you listening, if
you know anything about me, I, my mother passed away years ago.
She was severely bipolar my entire life.
But when she was well, I loved her unconditionally through and
through. Not just when she was well, but
when she was well. I had the most amazing
relationship with her. She was so loving, so nurturing,
so supportive, so accepting. But I didn't get that version of
her very often in my life. So the idea of me creating my
perfect mother was really challenging for me because I had
such a loyalty to her and such a love for her.
And the practitioner could sense this and just really invited me
again to say my mother is my mother.
But I get to create. If I could create the perfect
version of who little Krista needed, I call her Cricket,
little cricket needed, then I would absolutely get everything
that I needed. It was almost like she was
tuning into my higher self or my soul's essence of what I needed
that I didn't get in childhood, which is absolutely correct.
We know exactly what we need subconsciously.
I should say that subconsciously we know what we needed.
So I started to create this young woman and what was
interesting, you know, she had me create the age and her hair
and what is she wearing and which was really, really
powerful. And she was just this beautiful,
like 28 year old woman with this long flowy blonde hair.
And I, she, I looked a lot like her, but she was very, very
feminine. I tend to be more of, of a
tomboy, but she was very feminine.
She was wearing this yellow dress with printed flowers on
it. I mean, I can still see all
this. And then I had to give her a
name. And I'm blanking on the name I
gave my mother. But what's interesting is I
could remember what I named my father, which was Luke.
And Luke was he was tall, he had dark hair, he was handsome.
He wore a flannel shirt. He had like a medium to bigger
build. He was just like a big teddy
bear. And he had just this beautiful
soft, gentle energy. And then once I created them, I
got to invite my 3 year old to have a dialogue with them and
interact with them and watch them love and speak to her in
the way that she needed to and the the way that they held her
and and just told her how I am going to cry.
How beautiful she was, what a delight her spirit was, How
funny she is, how playful she is.
It was like my heart was bursting through me.
And this happens to me today when I do this work.
It's so incredibly powerful, this inner child healing.
I do a different form of it today.
We'll get to that, but I just felt this overwhelming sense of
love and ease and peace that I really hadn't felt before.
So that was my first experience with inner child healing and it,
I mean to say that at 180, my life was kind of crazy.
Now moving on to the hypnotherapy because this is,
this is where this piece comes in now, right?
So now I'm in my certification program and I learned one of the
techniques is inner child healing.
And again, it's this idea of meeting your inner children.
Usually they show up one age at a time.
You create a safe space for them.
You invite one of them to show up and you just start a dialogue
with them. You just start to say, hey,
what's going on? What's going on in your life
right now? What's going on in your life at
this age? You study them, you look at what
they're wearing, what their demeanor is, what's on their
face, and then just start asking them questions.
And the most powerful 1 is what do you need right now?
And so I've used this technique with clients and hypnotherapy as
I shared, I did it in the session, but I wasn't doing it
regularly with me. Why?
I don't know. I just, I just didn't get at the
time that this inner child healing work is literally
rewiring the old wounds from childhood so that they can be
processed and integrated and you can show up as your best self.
So that was that. So those were the two times that
I did it. And then I, I just got away from
it for years, like over a decade.
And it wasn't until about 3 years ago, maybe a four years
ago, I started working with a trauma specific therapist.
And in my over 40 years of therapy, this was the first time
I was diagnosed with complex PTSD.
From what I experienced from my mom's illness to how my brother
handled it, to how my father treated me because he wasn't
processing the pain that came with having a wife who had a
severe mental illness. So she started talking to me
about this dysregulation and the the first time a word got
brought to my attention, a new vocabulary word in my trauma
healing word called becoming blended.
And this came about because I was specifically talking about
my current partner at the time who I who had very heavy
narcissistic traits. I'll, I'll just say traits.
And it was a very toxic relationship.
It was a very toxic relationship because one, I'm an enneagram 8,
so I'm totally comfortable with conflict and confrontation.
I am a fighter. I am not a flighter or a
freezer. And so I would go into fight
mode with him whenever he would push my boundaries.
I was really like really stable and level for about a year and a
half. And then I didn't realize what
was happening over time, as I was wearing out, I was wearing
down. I was overwhelmed.
My brain couldn't handle it anymore.
And now the triggers were becoming my my capacity to
become regulated and have a have a conversation about it.
We're shrinking to the point where I was becoming triggered
very, very quickly because I was in complete disconnect with my
authentic self. So my authentic self is strong.
She knows her worth, she knows her boundaries.
She isn't afraid to walk away from anything.
She's independent and self-sufficient.
But what I didn't know is I was fighting with my inner children
who hadn't gotten the healing that they needed from the time I
was six months old to the time I was.
Well, I mean, the, the children that show up for me came in as
old as 21 years old before I, which is I can look back.
And that was around the time where I started to create my own
identity, my own self, sense of self, my own rules and values
and boundaries and what I'm willing to give and not give.
But when we don't heal those inner children and give them
what they needed, we can become what's called blended.
So what happens is we attract these people in that trigger
those old wounds. And in this case, it was how my
father spoke to me, how he treated me, how he talked down
to me, how he called me names. And dad, I love you.
I love you so much and you've done so much of your own healing
work to change that. I just want to acknowledge my
dad right now. And anyone listening that knows
him knows he's, he's really done a lot over the past few years.
But we create these relationships that mimic that
and then we try to change them and get them to be kind to us,
to be loving to us, to validate our feelings, to respect our
boundaries. Because if we can get them to do
that, then we know we are worthy of love.
That is what the inner child believes.
And so I started working with my therapist on having these
regular dialogues with my inner children.
And the more that I spoke to them and worked with them, the
more that I was able to see the reality of the situation.
Now, the hard truth was my therapist told me you will not
be able to heal your inner children completely until you
are out of this relationship and until you are no longer addicted
to alcohol. And so I fought for a year to
end my relationship. It was very difficult because I
kept becoming blended with those inner children that would make
me just say, well, it's you that did it.
It's you that exploded. It's you that pushed him away.
Like if you could just do this, if you could just lose weight,
if you could just be calm and kind for him, if you could just
be a good girl like I used to, when I would become
dysregulated, I would say that to him.
Like I would use this, these crazy words, becoming
dissociated from my adult self. So I fought for a year.
I ended that relationship. I finally got separation from
it. I did an incredible psychedelic
journey in November of 2023 that helped me release my reliance on
alcohol. I haven't drank since and I got
to work on healing my inner child and all it requires.
It's, it's not easy when you're new to it and you don't even
think of it because you're not even aware of when it's your
adult self versus your inner child.
But it comes with practice over time.
And a great way to start is just by closing your eyes, taking a
few deep breaths. Imagine that you're in a safe
space, A space where you cannot be harmed or hurt.
You can always go back to this place if things get scary or
uncomfortable or too much. So just create the safe space.
Notice every detail about it, what it the sounds that you
hear, the smells, the materials it's made-up of.
Or you could be outside. It's wherever your beautiful
imagination takes you. What are the sense, what are the
sensations that you feel? Everything.
Just know that this is your safe space and then you can invite
one of your inner children to step forward with with pure open
arms, unconditional love to say I am here for you, whoever wants
to show up. And if, if more than one show
up, you can just say, OK, I need to take it one at a time or
whatever happens, just allow it to unfold and just say, who
would like to talk to me and what did you need?
And if you were never taught or shown any kind of deep
unconditional love, that is what children need.
They need safety, stability, unconditional love.
And so the way that I talk about this work, right?
It's like, OK, they're going to tell you what they needed and
then what? Then you get to become the
parents. So for me, I literally take on
the role and title of mother and I tell my little ones, I'm your
mom now. I can give you everything that
you need. Your emotions aren't too big for
me. You can freak out, you can
scream, you can cry, you can swear, you can say anything, do
anything. And it's not too big for me.
Oh my God, can I tell you? My little ones love that in
particular. And then I say, I love you.
I love you no matter what, no matter what you're thinking,
what you're feeling, what's going on.
You are worthy of this lifetime. You are worthy of joy.
You are worthy of abundance. You are so precious.
And I'm here to help support your soul in growing into the
beautiful woman that you already are.
We're going to do it together. And then I love to tell them the
the things that that are so special about them.
This is powerful work. Like telling my inner child how,
Oh my gosh, you're so curious. You're so creative.
Oh my gosh, I love how honest you are.
I love that time that you stole gum from your mom's room and
before the night was over, you took it back because honesty is
just so important to you. Do you know how rare and cool
that is? I love how you organize the kids
in the community to do your Junior Olympics and you set up
all the events. Do you that like that's you.
You're a natural born leader and networker and curator.
That work shifts everything in your being today because you're
literally rewiring an old thought pattern by doing this
work. So if you haven't done this
before, if the idea is new to you, if all of this, like if
you're listening to me and you're going, that's great.
But I don't, what is she talking about?
That's OK. It's a lot to unpack in a little
podcast episode, but here's the invitation.
Keep exploring inner child healing.
Keep exploring tools and techniques that help you access
your inner children, Those wounded parts of you that are so
ready to be healed and loved, free of criticism, free of
anger, free of rage, free of fear and insecurity and
stability. Just remind them, we are safe.
We are safe and the other thing that I want to invite you to is
the next sole observation session is May 1st.
It's live via Zoom. It's free for everyone.
You can sign up on the website. You can sign up on my Instagram
account at Cricket under score Fixes.
The link is there wherever. I'll put the link here in the
description wherever you find your content with me, you will
find the links to the soul observation sessions.
And on May 1st, the topic is inner child healing one O 1.
And I'm going to be actually guiding us through these
components of the meditation or guided hypnosis session I'm that
I talked about in this episode. I'm going to be guiding you
through that so that you can experience it for yourself and
you don't have to worry about remembering the words or the
parts or the things. And I promise you, if you show
up, if you come with an open mind and an open heart, I will
guide you through it and you will feel a sense of love that
is going to reconnect you to the essence of who you are.
So I hope that you'll join me on that.
Thank you for tuning in. As I move through more and more
of these episodes, I'm just going to be coming back to this
inner child healing. It really is my jam.
And the more that I talk about it and do it with you, the more
healing I get from it too. Next time I want to talk about
my 21 year old who I used to joke would show up in a black
hoodie. I nicknamed her Shug.
She was my angry one, she was my feisty one.
Well she showed up to with to me and a psychedelic journey and
she had some words for me. So I'm going to talk about Suge
in the next episode and how she has completely shifted the anger
inside of me. How she has shifted and taught
me how to come at things with love and compassion, but how she
is a fierce protector of my boundaries.
I'm gonna share all that in the next episode.
Thanks so much for tuning in. I love you all, have a great
day.