1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,800 Welcome, welcome. If today is your first time 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:09,760 tuning into the show, you picked an amazing episode to launch 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,440 into. If you've been with me before, 4 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:17,200 welcome back because today we're diving deep into inner child 5 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,920 healing. One O 1. 6 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:24,880 I'm going to talk about and teach some tools and techniques 7 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,600 that are literally the foundation and the number one 8 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,200 tool I've used to heal my complex PTSD. 9 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,640 So if you're out there and you're struggling with 10 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,960 boundaries to either set them or uphold them. 11 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:45,760 If you are feeling like you are over serving and your 12 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,760 relationships, you're giving more than you're receiving. 13 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,200 If you get dysregulated, when you're triggered, if you have 14 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:58,280 emotions that seem a little disproportionate to what's going 15 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:02,600 on, I've got answers for you. I've got help for you. 16 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,920 You know, I'm whenever I'm like on Instagram or TikTok, I follow 17 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:12,000 so, so many influencers and content creators on self 18 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:17,400 development and healing work. And you always hear you've got 19 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,800 to do the healing work. You've got to do the healing 20 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,920 work, but they don't tell you how. 21 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,520 And I'm starting to see more of this, but this is what I'm 22 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,600 passionate about is the how. Now, Full disclosure, I'm not a 23 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,440 licensed therapist. However, I am a certified 24 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,000 hypnotherapist. I'm a twice certified life coach 25 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:41,160 and I've been through hundreds, if not thousands of hours of 26 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,800 therapy. Like no joke, I've lived it and 27 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,760 I've read a ton of books. So what's interesting to me 28 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:52,280 about this inner child work is I want to give you a little bit of 29 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:58,200 of a background on how it entered my aura or my orbit, my 30 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,640 world, my healing world. And it was about 15 years ago. 31 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:08,720 So I had signed up for a Sedona soul adventure. 32 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:13,480 I'll post a link to the bio great organization that puts 33 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:18,120 together these soul retreats. I knew something wasn't right 34 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,480 and if you're listening and you're like, Oh my gosh, that's 35 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,240 it. My soul is calling for something 36 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,600 different. It it is listen to that voice. 37 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,160 So I went on this Sedona soul adventure. 38 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,080 I booked the trip. I'm meeting with 11 39 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,880 practitioners over 5 days. They helped me organize who I 40 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,800 was going to talk to, what my goals and objectives were. 41 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:45,120 And then while this, the space between, OK, I've booked the 42 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:50,120 trip and now I'm waiting to take the trip was probably a span of 43 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,760 about 5 weeks. So I had a little bit of time 44 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,600 that I had to wait to take this trip. 45 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,320 And I just started, Oh my gosh, you can't make this stuff up. 46 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:03,160 I just started following my intuition and I found myself 47 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,160 driving in this neighborhood. At the time I was living in 48 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,920 Kirkland, WA. I was new there. 49 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:14,920 I was incredibly unhappy, like desperation unhappy. 50 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:19,080 I'm driving around the neighborhood with my dog and we 51 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,280 were, we were looking for a place to, I was going to take 52 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,640 him to a park, but I was like, I'm just going to drive around, 53 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,040 get to know the neighborhood and I'm going to follow my 54 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,720 intuition. Now this idea of just, oh, let 55 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,920 me just follow my intuition. I'm sure I heard of it 56 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:39,400 somewhere, but I wasn't on a ton of social media back, you know, 57 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,680 15 years ago. So I don't know where this came 58 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,560 from other than my higher self. So I started to follow my 59 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:50,720 intuition and next thing you know, I end up at Bastier 60 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,640 University. There was, I think it was like 61 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:59,400 an, a, a, a food day, a organic farming day, something like 62 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,040 that. And I was like, oh, I'll just go 63 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,560 stroll around there. And I remember getting out of 64 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:09,040 the parking lot, and I couldn't figure out where the entrance to 65 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,200 this event was from where we parked. 66 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,920 The signage was terrible. So I just again, followed my 67 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,720 intuition. Next thing you know, I'm in the 68 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,640 halls of the university, standing right in front of a 69 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:23,360 brochure rack, and it jumps out at me. 70 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,600 I'll never forget this. It jumps out at me, This 71 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,520 pamphlet on becoming a certified hypnotherapist. 72 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,080 Now this, this all ties together. 73 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:38,320 I promise you follow me. So I pick up the pamphlet and it 74 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,640 talks about this, this training certification course with Mary 75 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,640 Lee Lavey. I'll drop her link in here too. 76 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:53,920 And something inside me just screamed, Oh my gosh, yes, this 77 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:58,040 is it. I need to do this so I get home. 78 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:02,800 I talked to my my husband at the time about this certification 79 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,000 course. He's all in support of it. 80 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,240 It's like it's just calling to me. 81 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,280 I'd already done a life coaching certification, but I really 82 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,480 believed in the power of transforming your life through 83 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,440 changing your subconscious wiring. 84 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:22,680 That ties to this too. So I sign up for the 85 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,240 certification program, which was like another, I don't know, 5 or 86 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,280 6 months down the road. But anyhow, backtrack. 87 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:33,360 It's all coming together and all lands on inner child healing 88 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:39,520 because I go to my soul retreat and one of the practitioners 89 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,720 that I met with, I didn't realize it was hypnotherapy at 90 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,360 the time or hypnosis, whatever you want to call it. 91 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,040 To me it was just a meditation and a guided visualization. 92 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,040 I was laying. So first she had me pick these 93 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:58,360 fairy cards and Angel cards. No fairy and and goddess cards. 94 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,880 So I picked some cards and next thing you know, this like 95 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:07,320 beautiful story was created around the energy and the power 96 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:11,560 of these cards. And that carried into the 97 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,560 meditation that she led me into, which was also the same as a 98 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,280 guided meditation or hypnotherapy because we were 99 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:24,000 really doing work in this. And what she invited me to do 100 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,880 was find myself in a Meadow, beautiful Meadow with flowers. 101 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:36,280 And I'm about to greet myself, my younger self at any age that 102 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,560 she wanted to show up. And she showed up as a 103 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,200 three-year old. And I could see her wild curly 104 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,760 hair and this big smile on her face. 105 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,760 As you probably know, I'm probably going to tear up and 106 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,840 cry in this episode because that's what I do. 107 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:55,480 But I see her coming toward me and I'm invited to sit with her 108 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,960 and just get to know her a little bit. 109 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:06,200 And then the practitioner asked me to create a, a safe home for 110 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:12,040 she and I to walk into. And I just as I'm, as I'm 111 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:16,240 recounting the story, I'm like, duh, it all made sense, but I 112 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,800 didn't know what I couldn't, I didn't comprehend enough about 113 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,440 the healing work to connect everything that I was actually 114 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,800 experiencing. And so if any of you are, are 115 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,000 going down this healing path and you're confused about these 116 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,800 techniques or you don't know how they work, I promise it will one 117 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,400 day make sense. So I create this beautiful 118 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:42,400 cabin. Oh, I, I can remember like this 119 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,320 was 15 years ago and I can remember the cabin that I 120 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:51,080 created for myself and my little one to go into. 121 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:57,360 And then the practitioner had me create she she first said you 122 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,040 have parents. You have parents that did the 123 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:04,760 very best that they could with the very best that they knew. 124 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:12,160 But you know, you needed more. So today you are going to create 125 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:17,080 your ideal mother and father. And let's start with your 126 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,120 mother. Now for any of you listening, if 127 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:24,440 you know anything about me, I, my mother passed away years ago. 128 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,280 She was severely bipolar my entire life. 129 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:33,559 But when she was well, I loved her unconditionally through and 130 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,159 through. Not just when she was well, but 131 00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:39,159 when she was well. I had the most amazing 132 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:42,679 relationship with her. She was so loving, so nurturing, 133 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:47,920 so supportive, so accepting. But I didn't get that version of 134 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:54,120 her very often in my life. So the idea of me creating my 135 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:58,440 perfect mother was really challenging for me because I had 136 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,440 such a loyalty to her and such a love for her. 137 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,360 And the practitioner could sense this and just really invited me 138 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,680 again to say my mother is my mother. 139 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,920 But I get to create. If I could create the perfect 140 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:17,000 version of who little Krista needed, I call her Cricket, 141 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:23,560 little cricket needed, then I would absolutely get everything 142 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,840 that I needed. It was almost like she was 143 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:31,520 tuning into my higher self or my soul's essence of what I needed 144 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:35,240 that I didn't get in childhood, which is absolutely correct. 145 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:39,680 We know exactly what we need subconsciously. 146 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,880 I should say that subconsciously we know what we needed. 147 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,760 So I started to create this young woman and what was 148 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:51,480 interesting, you know, she had me create the age and her hair 149 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:56,280 and what is she wearing and which was really, really 150 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,720 powerful. And she was just this beautiful, 151 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:05,240 like 28 year old woman with this long flowy blonde hair. 152 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:10,320 And I, she, I looked a lot like her, but she was very, very 153 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,080 feminine. I tend to be more of, of a 154 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,200 tomboy, but she was very feminine. 155 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,080 She was wearing this yellow dress with printed flowers on 156 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,720 it. I mean, I can still see all 157 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,400 this. And then I had to give her a 158 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,760 name. And I'm blanking on the name I 159 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,360 gave my mother. But what's interesting is I 160 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,840 could remember what I named my father, which was Luke. 161 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:36,800 And Luke was he was tall, he had dark hair, he was handsome. 162 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:41,560 He wore a flannel shirt. He had like a medium to bigger 163 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,320 build. He was just like a big teddy 164 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,440 bear. And he had just this beautiful 165 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:51,360 soft, gentle energy. And then once I created them, I 166 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:57,600 got to invite my 3 year old to have a dialogue with them and 167 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:04,240 interact with them and watch them love and speak to her in 168 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,960 the way that she needed to and the the way that they held her 169 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,400 and and just told her how I am going to cry. 170 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,840 How beautiful she was, what a delight her spirit was, How 171 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,240 funny she is, how playful she is. 172 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:26,120 It was like my heart was bursting through me. 173 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,320 And this happens to me today when I do this work. 174 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:36,560 It's so incredibly powerful, this inner child healing. 175 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,480 I do a different form of it today. 176 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:43,880 We'll get to that, but I just felt this overwhelming sense of 177 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:49,120 love and ease and peace that I really hadn't felt before. 178 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:53,840 So that was my first experience with inner child healing and it, 179 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,600 I mean to say that at 180, my life was kind of crazy. 180 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,680 Now moving on to the hypnotherapy because this is, 181 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,200 this is where this piece comes in now, right? 182 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:11,080 So now I'm in my certification program and I learned one of the 183 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,880 techniques is inner child healing. 184 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:20,560 And again, it's this idea of meeting your inner children. 185 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,080 Usually they show up one age at a time. 186 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,160 You create a safe space for them. 187 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:30,280 You invite one of them to show up and you just start a dialogue 188 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,680 with them. You just start to say, hey, 189 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,800 what's going on? What's going on in your life 190 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,000 right now? What's going on in your life at 191 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,920 this age? You study them, you look at what 192 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,040 they're wearing, what their demeanor is, what's on their 193 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:47,640 face, and then just start asking them questions. 194 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,480 And the most powerful 1 is what do you need right now? 195 00:12:54,480 --> 00:13:02,800 And so I've used this technique with clients and hypnotherapy as 196 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,920 I shared, I did it in the session, but I wasn't doing it 197 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,200 regularly with me. Why? 198 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,760 I don't know. I just, I just didn't get at the 199 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:17,280 time that this inner child healing work is literally 200 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:23,600 rewiring the old wounds from childhood so that they can be 201 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:29,600 processed and integrated and you can show up as your best self. 202 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,120 So that was that. So those were the two times that 203 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,240 I did it. And then I, I just got away from 204 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:41,320 it for years, like over a decade. 205 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,960 And it wasn't until about 3 years ago, maybe a four years 206 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:50,520 ago, I started working with a trauma specific therapist. 207 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:57,480 And in my over 40 years of therapy, this was the first time 208 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,560 I was diagnosed with complex PTSD. 209 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:07,120 From what I experienced from my mom's illness to how my brother 210 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:11,680 handled it, to how my father treated me because he wasn't 211 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:17,440 processing the pain that came with having a wife who had a 212 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:24,160 severe mental illness. So she started talking to me 213 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:32,800 about this dysregulation and the the first time a word got 214 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:37,000 brought to my attention, a new vocabulary word in my trauma 215 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,040 healing word called becoming blended. 216 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,360 And this came about because I was specifically talking about 217 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:51,520 my current partner at the time who I who had very heavy 218 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,840 narcissistic traits. I'll, I'll just say traits. 219 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,120 And it was a very toxic relationship. 220 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:06,520 It was a very toxic relationship because one, I'm an enneagram 8, 221 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:10,880 so I'm totally comfortable with conflict and confrontation. 222 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:14,480 I am a fighter. I am not a flighter or a 223 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,440 freezer. And so I would go into fight 224 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,440 mode with him whenever he would push my boundaries. 225 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,800 I was really like really stable and level for about a year and a 226 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,640 half. And then I didn't realize what 227 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,960 was happening over time, as I was wearing out, I was wearing 228 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,800 down. I was overwhelmed. 229 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,920 My brain couldn't handle it anymore. 230 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:45,880 And now the triggers were becoming my my capacity to 231 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,720 become regulated and have a have a conversation about it. 232 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:55,320 We're shrinking to the point where I was becoming triggered 233 00:15:55,440 --> 00:16:02,760 very, very quickly because I was in complete disconnect with my 234 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,040 authentic self. So my authentic self is strong. 235 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,920 She knows her worth, she knows her boundaries. 236 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,120 She isn't afraid to walk away from anything. 237 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,520 She's independent and self-sufficient. 238 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:23,080 But what I didn't know is I was fighting with my inner children 239 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:28,360 who hadn't gotten the healing that they needed from the time I 240 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,800 was six months old to the time I was. 241 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:36,200 Well, I mean, the, the children that show up for me came in as 242 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,800 old as 21 years old before I, which is I can look back. 243 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,280 And that was around the time where I started to create my own 244 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:49,560 identity, my own self, sense of self, my own rules and values 245 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,240 and boundaries and what I'm willing to give and not give. 246 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:58,880 But when we don't heal those inner children and give them 247 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,080 what they needed, we can become what's called blended. 248 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:07,560 So what happens is we attract these people in that trigger 249 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,480 those old wounds. And in this case, it was how my 250 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,319 father spoke to me, how he treated me, how he talked down 251 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:17,680 to me, how he called me names. And dad, I love you. 252 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:21,560 I love you so much and you've done so much of your own healing 253 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,000 work to change that. I just want to acknowledge my 254 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,119 dad right now. And anyone listening that knows 255 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:32,520 him knows he's, he's really done a lot over the past few years. 256 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:38,160 But we create these relationships that mimic that 257 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:43,920 and then we try to change them and get them to be kind to us, 258 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:47,760 to be loving to us, to validate our feelings, to respect our 259 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,440 boundaries. Because if we can get them to do 260 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,920 that, then we know we are worthy of love. 261 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,760 That is what the inner child believes. 262 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:01,760 And so I started working with my therapist on having these 263 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,480 regular dialogues with my inner children. 264 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:09,840 And the more that I spoke to them and worked with them, the 265 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:15,200 more that I was able to see the reality of the situation. 266 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,960 Now, the hard truth was my therapist told me you will not 267 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:26,000 be able to heal your inner children completely until you 268 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,200 are out of this relationship and until you are no longer addicted 269 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:36,000 to alcohol. And so I fought for a year to 270 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,520 end my relationship. It was very difficult because I 271 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,720 kept becoming blended with those inner children that would make 272 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,000 me just say, well, it's you that did it. 273 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,480 It's you that exploded. It's you that pushed him away. 274 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,360 Like if you could just do this, if you could just lose weight, 275 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,840 if you could just be calm and kind for him, if you could just 276 00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:01,080 be a good girl like I used to, when I would become 277 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,280 dysregulated, I would say that to him. 278 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,840 Like I would use this, these crazy words, becoming 279 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:11,720 dissociated from my adult self. So I fought for a year. 280 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:15,400 I ended that relationship. I finally got separation from 281 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:19,680 it. I did an incredible psychedelic 282 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:24,880 journey in November of 2023 that helped me release my reliance on 283 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,120 alcohol. I haven't drank since and I got 284 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:34,360 to work on healing my inner child and all it requires. 285 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,520 It's, it's not easy when you're new to it and you don't even 286 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,080 think of it because you're not even aware of when it's your 287 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,080 adult self versus your inner child. 288 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,320 But it comes with practice over time. 289 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:52,280 And a great way to start is just by closing your eyes, taking a 290 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:58,280 few deep breaths. Imagine that you're in a safe 291 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:03,160 space, A space where you cannot be harmed or hurt. 292 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:07,480 You can always go back to this place if things get scary or 293 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,080 uncomfortable or too much. So just create the safe space. 294 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,480 Notice every detail about it, what it the sounds that you 295 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:20,000 hear, the smells, the materials it's made-up of. 296 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,840 Or you could be outside. It's wherever your beautiful 297 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,840 imagination takes you. What are the sense, what are the 298 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,200 sensations that you feel? Everything. 299 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:36,480 Just know that this is your safe space and then you can invite 300 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:42,520 one of your inner children to step forward with with pure open 301 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:47,800 arms, unconditional love to say I am here for you, whoever wants 302 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:52,200 to show up. And if, if more than one show 303 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:57,320 up, you can just say, OK, I need to take it one at a time or 304 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:02,240 whatever happens, just allow it to unfold and just say, who 305 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,320 would like to talk to me and what did you need? 306 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:11,280 And if you were never taught or shown any kind of deep 307 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:16,880 unconditional love, that is what children need. 308 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:21,720 They need safety, stability, unconditional love. 309 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:26,240 And so the way that I talk about this work, right? 310 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,600 It's like, OK, they're going to tell you what they needed and 311 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,800 then what? Then you get to become the 312 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,960 parents. So for me, I literally take on 313 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:42,040 the role and title of mother and I tell my little ones, I'm your 314 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,360 mom now. I can give you everything that 315 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:47,000 you need. Your emotions aren't too big for 316 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,920 me. You can freak out, you can 317 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:53,720 scream, you can cry, you can swear, you can say anything, do 318 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,920 anything. And it's not too big for me. 319 00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:01,600 Oh my God, can I tell you? My little ones love that in 320 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,400 particular. And then I say, I love you. 321 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,240 I love you no matter what, no matter what you're thinking, 322 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,880 what you're feeling, what's going on. 323 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,160 You are worthy of this lifetime. You are worthy of joy. 324 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,320 You are worthy of abundance. You are so precious. 325 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:23,160 And I'm here to help support your soul in growing into the 326 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,400 beautiful woman that you already are. 327 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:32,560 We're going to do it together. And then I love to tell them the 328 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:37,680 the things that that are so special about them. 329 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,840 This is powerful work. Like telling my inner child how, 330 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:49,240 Oh my gosh, you're so curious. You're so creative. 331 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,000 Oh my gosh, I love how honest you are. 332 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:57,520 I love that time that you stole gum from your mom's room and 333 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,720 before the night was over, you took it back because honesty is 334 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,760 just so important to you. Do you know how rare and cool 335 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:09,440 that is? I love how you organize the kids 336 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:14,240 in the community to do your Junior Olympics and you set up 337 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,760 all the events. Do you that like that's you. 338 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,960 You're a natural born leader and networker and curator. 339 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:31,680 That work shifts everything in your being today because you're 340 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:36,600 literally rewiring an old thought pattern by doing this 341 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:41,560 work. So if you haven't done this 342 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,760 before, if the idea is new to you, if all of this, like if 343 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,680 you're listening to me and you're going, that's great. 344 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,040 But I don't, what is she talking about? 345 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:55,360 That's OK. It's a lot to unpack in a little 346 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:59,480 podcast episode, but here's the invitation. 347 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,960 Keep exploring inner child healing. 348 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:09,200 Keep exploring tools and techniques that help you access 349 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:14,640 your inner children, Those wounded parts of you that are so 350 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:20,040 ready to be healed and loved, free of criticism, free of 351 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:24,480 anger, free of rage, free of fear and insecurity and 352 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,120 stability. Just remind them, we are safe. 353 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,760 We are safe and the other thing that I want to invite you to is 354 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:37,680 the next sole observation session is May 1st. 355 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,440 It's live via Zoom. It's free for everyone. 356 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:46,120 You can sign up on the website. You can sign up on my Instagram 357 00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:49,120 account at Cricket under score Fixes. 358 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,800 The link is there wherever. I'll put the link here in the 359 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:59,960 description wherever you find your content with me, you will 360 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,560 find the links to the soul observation sessions. 361 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:08,040 And on May 1st, the topic is inner child healing one O 1. 362 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:12,440 And I'm going to be actually guiding us through these 363 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:17,600 components of the meditation or guided hypnosis session I'm that 364 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,440 I talked about in this episode. I'm going to be guiding you 365 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:25,120 through that so that you can experience it for yourself and 366 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:28,160 you don't have to worry about remembering the words or the 367 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:32,760 parts or the things. And I promise you, if you show 368 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:37,760 up, if you come with an open mind and an open heart, I will 369 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:43,920 guide you through it and you will feel a sense of love that 370 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,320 is going to reconnect you to the essence of who you are. 371 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,840 So I hope that you'll join me on that. 372 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:55,120 Thank you for tuning in. As I move through more and more 373 00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:57,960 of these episodes, I'm just going to be coming back to this 374 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,800 inner child healing. It really is my jam. 375 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:05,000 And the more that I talk about it and do it with you, the more 376 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:09,800 healing I get from it too. Next time I want to talk about 377 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:14,880 my 21 year old who I used to joke would show up in a black 378 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,960 hoodie. I nicknamed her Shug. 379 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,480 She was my angry one, she was my feisty one. 380 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:25,240 Well she showed up to with to me and a psychedelic journey and 381 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,920 she had some words for me. So I'm going to talk about Suge 382 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:35,480 in the next episode and how she has completely shifted the anger 383 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:40,240 inside of me. How she has shifted and taught 384 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:47,680 me how to come at things with love and compassion, but how she 385 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,840 is a fierce protector of my boundaries. 386 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,440 I'm gonna share all that in the next episode. 387 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:58,160 Thanks so much for tuning in. I love you all, have a great 388 00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:58,640 day.