Welcome to the Cricket Fixes podcast, where we tackle the
tough topics of personal development, sprinkled with some
raw vulnerability and a touch of humor.
I'm your host Cricket, and each episode we're diving into the
realms of healing, growth, and self discovery.
So let's be fearless and awesome together.
It's time to get your cricket fix.
Well, I just know that this show is probably gonna go down as one
of my all time favorites. I think there's gonna be a lot
of laughs happening, so I just wanna welcome Jacuzzi to the
show. OK, we we are here everyone.
This is the party scientist we're we're going to have a lot
of fun on this episode. Let's do it.
We're going to have the best
time. So I found you on Instagram way
too late. Like the universe should have
brought me into, into my orbit way sooner because I, Oh my
gosh, I so resonated with your energy, your vibe, your message,
your background, your story. Like there's so much to it.
And I know today we're talking about unlocking joy through like
radical vulnerability. And, and I think like, I thought
I was good at being vulnerable. No, like I have so much to learn
from you as well. So I'm so excited you're here.
Please start with your background because I think it's
really powerful. Yeah, so happy to be here as
well. I love that word vulnerability.
You know, I have, I used to be a lot more socially anxious and
afraid and small, right. And so I'm really excited to
share my journey of kind of ever increasing that zone of
vulnerability. And I'm really an advocate for
expanding it as much as possible because when we're vulnerable
and when we're expressive, it's contagious and it makes people
feel safe and it makes people express themselves more, whether
that's goofiness, whether that's sadness, whether that's stress.
But yeah. Yeah, pretty much.
You know, I was meant to be the party scientist, but I also
wasn't right like my family were.
They were pushing me in the direction of Med school.
So I was in a pre Med program. I was volunteering as a medic at
all these events. I was shadowing doctors.
I was in a laboratory for neuroscience and I was on that
path. I was on the very conventional
career path and eventually I, I met someone and I attended a
party and, and I, I witnessed the magic of creating social
environments that are so well designed that people don't need
substances to, to access that joy, right?
It, it was like the first time I had ever experienced like
natural ecstasy in a group. Of course, before that the seed
was already planted because I had been a medic for multiple
years and I had saved a bunch of young people's lives.
Like I'm talking, I would literally walk like really
wasted girls to their mothers who were picking them up from
the festival. Like I had these experiences of
being a support for really vulnerable people who were
totally destroying their bodies and thank God they were young
because their bodies are so resilient.
But I had this experience, this dichotomy of, hey, we're
celebrating life. This is the best part of life.
We're going to experience the most amount of joy possible.
Oh, and guess what? This is a totally
self-destructive behavior. We're going to celebrate life in
a self-destructive way. Like, that makes no sense.
So I set out to start leading sober parties.
At first it was like I was the most judgmental sobriety nerd
ever. So judgmental, So like, icky, so
cringy. But my events, yeah, my events
went totally viral, like on Facebook, I would get thousands
of people clicking on my events and they blew up.
And eventually the, you know, the police, the police called me
on my personal cell phone, like asking me to shut down one of my
parties. And I just, I went, I went ahead
with it anyway. I don't know, but I was in the
lab, I was in the neuroscience lab when the the officer called
me. So I LED all these sober
parties. But but truly the most important
thing here is how do we prevent disease with the antidepressant
of joy, with the antidepressant of movement, like dancing, human
contact, eye contact, hugging, laughter, sweating, like all
these things are so healthy. And you know, we put when we
make it feel fun and we design it into a party, it's just, it's
just like the ultimate health practice.
And like, I'm a total health nerd.
And so really I'm just like hiding.
I'm like hiding health under the the guise of fun.
But it's like, it's the most powerful health intervention
ever. So there you go.
That makes me think of, so I've, I'm almost two years alcohol
free, really excited about that. And I've, you know, I, I didn't
think that I was using it to have fun 'cause I, I've always
self identified as being very vulnerable, being very myself
and can have fun in any situation.
But I, what I really found is about 6 months into being
alcohol free, I had to give myself permission and a new way
to be myself, my authentic self and really step into the whole,
who gives a fuck what I look like right now?
So like I want to, I want to kind of tap into the work that
you're doing to give, like giving people permission to be
themselves unapologetically, like joyfully and
unapologetically themselves. How do you create that framework
work in your parties? Yeah.
Well, I first just want to emphasize that this is such a
larger conversation than merely event design.
Like we want to go through the world and we want to make people
feel emotionally safe. We want them to drop their
guard, not worry about how beautiful they look or how high
status they look. We want them to laugh loud.
We want them to access silliness and goofiness.
Like that is so rare in adult communication, right?
If you can go through the world and activate that in people,
you're just going to have so much more fun.
Your life is going to be so much better.
And the truth is every single person you see on the street has
that in them. They have this ability to, to
just be jolly and, and to, to reveal their emotional spectrum.
Right. I also just want to emphasize
before I answer your question. Crickets.
Like we, we don't like the irony is that the more that we
experience sadness and depression and we learn from
these emotions, the more joy we can have in our lives.
I agree. So we also want people we want
people to feel OK bringing difficult things to the table.
We want people to to celebrate some of the hardships they're
having and the ability to to talk about them openly.
And yeah, we don't want to identify with them.
We don't want to victimize ourselves.
We want to process them in community and we want to use
them to elevate our joy and thrive and bounce back, right.
So it's not about living in these emotions, it's about
bouncing back even more joyful. And this is something that's
often misunderstood about my work is this is not toxic
positivity. This is appreciate exactly.
Yeah, it's not just butterflies and rainbows absolutely
bypassing. But but here's the thing, like
I'm probably like everyone listening.
You're probably listening to one of the most like misunderstood
people online. Like I receive 12:50 criticism
to praise online 100%. And it's because it's because
people think that I'm on drugs. They think that this is this
happiness must be fake because it's too much.
And the reality is, the reality is people would rather be around
sad people than happy people. Because when people are super
happy, it makes us look inward and be like, why am I not happy?
What's wrong with me? No, it's not not anything wrong
with me. It's wrong with them.
And so it's just a mirror. But the point is, so many
people, they want their unhappiness to be justified.
They want to know that their unhappiness is not because of
them. But the truth is, your
unhappiness is because of you. I don't care about my past.
I don't care about your past. You have so much more control
over your joy in this present moment than you can imagine.
And when you learn the skills of Physiology, of human connection,
you know, the the fundamentals of health, of social
intelligence, wow, joy is everywhere.
And and that's part of our Joymaker oath.
And that's why I'm on this earth and crickets.
You seem to me to be a Joymaker, right?
You probably uplift a lot of people that that come into
contact with you. Yeah, and.
A compliment like you have good energy, right?
Am I? Yes, yes.
And people tell me things. People tell me a lot of things.
And I'm also like, I'm, I also relate to what you're saying
about that, that criticism. I remember a friend telling me
when I was around 28 years old, she's like, it's really hard to
be your friend because I will step into a room and just
fucking own it. And not in a, not in an
overpowering way, just in a, like, I'm just here to like play
and connect. And I, I want to go deep with
people fast. And that that brings connection
quickly, right? When I was 14 years old, I've
shared this story. I was acutely aware of how open
I was and how vulnerable I was and how rare that was.
But it's also what led people to share so much with me because I
can hold space for that. So I just wanted to like it.
It can be a lonely Rd. being so joyful.
And people get really irritated when you reframe negativity.
So what I try to do now is like, let me validate your experience
'cause I, I do think that's an important part of the process
of, of reframing negativity. But let's like move into what
are you gaining from this? Like what, what is the lesson?
What is the gift in the hardship?
Like if you just look at my past on paper, there is so much to
mourn. But no, I, I'm like, well, thank
God I'm resilient to get through it.
And that I do have this perspective because what I
learned from it is the only reason why I'm able to build
what I'm building today. And I'm I'm sure you can relate
to that. They're gifts.
Amen to that. Absolutely.
And I mean, this is just, these are just the fundamentals of
choosing our perspective, right? And, and so often, you know,
you, you spoke about drinking earlier and you know, a lot of
people drink on autopilot. They drink and they don't even
choose to drink. It's just an autopilot decision.
And a very many humans, they don't choose how they view
events in their lives, right? So what are we telling
ourselves? And are we actually in control
of our minds? And you know, like ultimately
our relationship with our mind predicts everything like all
escapism, all escapism, you know, like there's 5SS, right?
There's five kind of dysfunctional forms of joy, and
they all start with S you're. New to.
US substances, sugar and salt screens stuff.
And the last one, it might, might upset a few people here is
sights, right? This this idea that you need to
go somewhere to find joy. You need to travel.
You need to be on top of the mountain.
You need to be in the Grand Canyon.
You need to be on a boat. Like these sources of joy are
just like they're just, they're just so external and they're
they're less reliant on skills. So the opposite is skills.
OK, so develop skills, develop skills.
How do you develop skills? You make mistakes and you
reflect on those mistakes and you get better over time, right.
And yeah, so, so you know, the, the perspective piece is really
important. The relationship we have with
our mind is really important. And that's really like the first
step. Like you sure you can have a war
inside your head and you can still get joy by saying hello to
people on the side of the street and, and practicing some of
these Joymaker interventions, right?
Going out in the world, giving some high fives, complimenting
people's outfits, you know, complimenting someone's dog.
You don't have to make it deep at all.
This can elevate your joy. But if you have a war inside
your head, you're going to escape to one of those five s s
substances, screens, salt and sugar, right?
Screens if you have a war. So, so, and, and this is not my
expertise, like my expertise is in social intelligence and group
facilitation. That's my expertise.
It used to be just group, group facilitation 'cause I was
socially an idiot. Let's just be real.
Still, I still fuck up so much people like OK, OK, so.
So I'm continuing my rant here. I hope that's OK.
Chrissa. So, so you, you mentioned the
gift piece I wanna actually read.
I wanna read my latest post that I just made today.
So I had a family member send me a really hurtful message
recently, but I translated it into a gift.
And so let me read this to you and it's, it's really good.
Like that, like this is like radical vulnerability right
here. Yeah, absolutely.
And, and I'll just say, Chris, we all have different
experiences with vulnerability. And like for me, you know, I've
received so much online criticism that I'm, I'm like an
alien, like, because it's been such a game, right?
But anyway, let me read this to you, OK?
I blocked a family member after ditching my pharmacology medical
career. This person has always been
judgmental, always making subtle remarks about how I should get a
real job. It hurts, it really does, but
it's been the greatest gift. It's taught me to develop will,
a will to pursue my impact, my passion, my path, regardless of
approval. When you're trying to shift
social norms, anticipate being hurt.
When you speak honestly, anticipate being hurt.
When you call out this self-destructive culture we live
in, causing people to binge on substances, sugar, fat screens
and stuff, anticipate being hurt, people assume that party
scientist guy, he's had an easy life, he's this, he's that.
But no, I've had my struggles. I just choose joy.
I practice joy. I focus on joy because life is
better when I move forward vibrantly instead of complaining
about my problems, chasing validation or sulking.
Take the criticism. Make it your fuel, baby.
Mic drop. Oh my gosh, so much is spinning
in my head right now. And the very best way.
And I'm what I'm looking at. I'll be radically vulnerable,
right? Because people do they make
assumptions and stories about you.
Oh, they have it all figured out.
No, we don't. We're we're figuring it out
along the way. But what you have figured out
and that I'm hearing that's coming through so clearly is you
have put your foot down. You have put the the stake in
the ground saying I choose joy, like no matter what I choose
joy. And one thing that so this last
week, like I'm not super into astrology, but this full moon
and Torah shit was like legit, I was like, holy shit, what the
fuck is going on? And and what was wild is if
these things that happened to me three years ago, I would have
been like, like, I can't handle this.
Like this is too much. Like why is this like what the
fuck universe? Like God, what source divine,
like it's too much. And because of all the this idea
of reframing right and finding the gifts and everything and
really, OK, let me lean into the astrology and what is it trying
to do? Let me go to the masters.
And it was a very big clearing. It was like the universe and and
astrology said no more like these things have to go,
literally have to go. You can't make this shit up.
One of my very, very, very closest friends removed me from
their life in the most abrupt, shocking, stunning, mind
boggling way. And again, three years ago, I
would have been devastated. I would have been internalizing
it. I would have been like, what
about me? What did I do?
Taking way too much responsibility.
And yes, I am grieving it. And I want to send this message
because I do feel grief. I do feel pain, but I, I process
it so much more quickly and then I'm I'm able to move into the
what is the gift and then the integration to then take that
into my life's work, right. And and your life's work like
like you were saying. But I literally am looking at it
now like this is a really sad event.
But this was nothing that I did, and if anything, it's a gift
because it's been weighing on me for a year and a half, the
imbalance of energy. And that what I need right now
in order to grow Cricket Fixes to the vision I have for it.
I need reciprocity. I need to be in relationship
with people that are giving as much to me as I am to them.
It's just where I am because all of my selfless acts are in
Cricket fixes. They can't be in my close
relationships. And what a fucking gift that is
to recognize that. And yes, it's sad and yes, it's
a loss, but this was ultimately a gift.
Oh like, oh, I got chills. I got chills.
Just like recounting that and being grateful that I'm also
alcohol free because I, I do want to say this and then I'll
shut up and give it back to you. I want like this is so important
for me to say. Alcohol is a veil to joy.
It is a block to joy. It is a wall to joy.
It is it is a block to this ability to reframe and it it's a
block to the ability, even if the the day after, the day after
you're still in that fog, you're still in that I can't connect.
And for me, you know, I say this without any shame.
I understand clearly my abuse with alcohol, but what it was
robbing me in connection is astounding.
Now that I'm nearly two years out of it, it is astounding.
So I just, I want to kind of bring it back to this, you know,
your work with bringing joy to people outside of like how you
started the conversation. People are going to a festival
with the intention of experiencing the ultimate
connection and joy when they're actually preventing that from
happening. OK, that's enough on me for a
minute. Well, well.
I know you wanna, I, I have a lot of opinions about alcohol,
of course, but I really appreciated what you said and
what you shared about your friend removing you from your
life so abruptly. And yeah, that that hurts when
when there's no reason and you don't have enough feedback to
become better. It it really sucks.
And what I'm hearing from you is that it caused you to refocus on
a bigger impact that you can have.
And you know how that relates with me.
The irony of my life is I I'm on this mission of creating so much
joy, and sometimes I have to put my boundaries up and say, hey, I
can't be your friend and I don't want to spend time with you
because you're draining me. Yeah.
And. I've hurt people, I've hurt
people by and I use AI now. I keep it really professional
because people cannot handle it. People cannot handle me saying,
hey, I'm on a larger mission and I don't have the bandwidth to
caretake for you and and help you get to a better place.
Like I think the number one, the number one predictor of
someone's joy is merely the amount of behaviors surrounding
them that support joy. Meaning, do your people around
you practice consistent behaviors that elevate joy,
right. Do they sleep well?
Do they eat well? Do they exercise?
Do they go dancing? Do they socialize?
You know, do they journal? Like all these practices, these
are behaviors, you know, there's no belief.
It's all just, it all just works.
It's evidence. And I'm like, I'm the party
scientist and I'm serious about science and I want predictable
results. And so I call this this
intervention, right? PPP you're positive.
Peer pod. You want peers, you don't want
people who are are struggling beneath you Yes, you can help
those people, but you don't want them in your inner circle
holding you back. You want to help those people
professionally or you want to help them get the professional
help they need. But we wow, people are so people
pleasing. We're so afraid of of putting
our boundaries up and rightfully so, because you'll hurt people.
But guess what? You're going to have a greater
impact if you put up boundaries and you tell people, I'm sorry,
I don't have the bandwidth to be your friend because it's
draining me and it's preventing me from giving my joy to
everyone else around me and like sparking joy in the world.
So that's, that's one piece of it.
And like I, I advocate for inclusive exclusivity.
That's like my whole philosophy and it applies to events.
It also applies to the positive Purepod.
You don't want victims in your positive Purepod.
If you have victims in your positive Purepod, no one is
going to want to express joy. It's, it's not inclusive to have
a, a negative person in a positive Purepod because then no
one feels safe to express themselves.
So we're stuck up on this inclusivity norm and the
inclusivity, the radical inclusivity, what it's creating
is it's actually harming the emotional safety in our
communities and in our friend groups.
And so like be less inclusive, but be very intentional about
it. And that's going to help you
forge for invest in the relationships that fill your
cups so that you can go out into the world and you can make
people's day. And you, well, that's just.
Fully. Present, yeah.
That that is just it. And that's that's a hard, you
know, as we do this work, I'm sure you experienced this along
your way with your growth of your purpose, right?
The more that you dive into your purpose and do this work.
You're. You're on a, you're, you're on a
conveyor belt that's fucking hauling ass, right, Because
you're, you're giving energy to that.
And then those, those relationships that, that can't
meet you in that same place, they just start, they, they
really find a way. They find a way through one way
or another, they're going to find a way to separate.
This is why I tell people that when I got married, I'm divorced
now, but when I got married, we intentionally did not say so
death do us part. In fact, we said we will commit
to a year at a time. And and I'm so glad that we had
the the wisdom way back then to say no, if we aren't growing
together, I don't want to be a part of this.
So I really, I think that was another like if I'm talking
about radical vulnerability, I've always had this perception
of impermanence in relationship because I, I'm just, I'm so
forward. Up with you, yeah.
I'm just like forward, onward, keep going, keep going like it's
and, and again, it's not spiritual bypassing, It's not
grief bypassing, but I just tend to process it faster.
And when it comes back around, I don't ignore it.
I'm like, all right, let's go, let's grieve.
You want to grieve. And the conversations I have
with my inner children don't even and get me started because
they have full permission to show up grieving about things
from 30 years ago. I'm like you can show up
anytime, you can show up anytime.
But mom is going to stay centered and forward focused.
I I love that so much and listening to these emotions,
what is the emotion telling me? How can I interpret the emotion
constructively? Why do I hate this person?
Why do I feel threatened? Why?
Do I feel insecure about this? Well, if you just tune into
that, then you'll, you'll, you're just like, it's just all
a mirror, right? And so when we see the world as
a mirror, we can gain lessons from all these negative
emotions. So, so let's let's come back to
to alcohol. And I, I just want to emphasize
the point there. And then I actually want to ask
you a question. But pretty much pretty much like
we live in a world that tells you to eat joy, to consume joy
on a screen, to find joy through poisons like alcohol and
marijuana. I'm just and, and vaping.
I, I, there's no, by the way, there's there's no, there's a
scientific consensus. Now these things are poison.
And I'm sorry, I'm sorry to break it to anyone who loves
their cake. Cake is poison too.
Now listen, like, but see the beginning, the first step is
realizing that mainstream culture is trying to get you
addicted to poison for sure. That's what mainstream culture
is designed to do. So basically the long term
approach to joy. And not just joy, but
joyfulness. How do you become a joyful
person? It's not just about chasing
temporary joy, it's about becoming a more joyful person as
a trait. Well, how do you do that?
Well, you need to move away from whatever you're using as a
crutch, like alcohol. But listen, like alcohol isn't
the only enemy your your enemy could be something healthy too.
You could have a dysfunctional relationship with anything.
You could have a dysfunctional relationship with personal
growth podcasts with Pickle. You could.
I mean, pickleball's good because it's so social.
Pickleball's a good game, so. Addictive.
I want to play. More pickleball.
Seriously. Because I intergenerational
socializations. That's what I want.
Yeah, it's the best SO. OK.
So I'll just wrap. This up.
So essentially the long term approach to becoming more joyful
is focusing on skills instead of circumstances.
Yeah, and absolutely money matters.
Absolutely if you hate your job, that matters.
But what the research shows us consistently is that our
circumstances is, is like 10 to 20% of our happiness.
Most of our happiness, like 30 to 40% is genetic.
And then the rest is like in our control.
And, and it's, it's our attitude and how much social, positive
social encounters we have in our lives.
And so if social intelligence is the greatest multiplier of
happiness that I know, because if you can get a mood boost from
everyone you encounter and you can become a social person.
And I know what all the introverts are thinking, not me.
I like to be alone. I like to hang out with my dog.
I hate to break it to all the introverts, and I hate to break
it to you, Krista, but the randomized control trials show
that when introverts socialize more, they become happier.
And so this isn't just extroverts introvert bullshit.
This is human species. This is hardwired into us.
And so social intelligence is the ultimate skill amplifier for
joy. And the more that we reflect on
our social encounters, like tomorrow, I'm going to go on a
walk and I'm going to reflect, you know what I'm going to
reflect on? I'm going to reflect on how how
opinionated my tone was during this this podcast.
I'm learning, I'm learning to speak like a little less
intensely and more playfully. So I'm going to I'm going to
journal tomorrow. And I bet you I'm going to point
out that I was a little too like arrogant during this podcast.
I don't think so at. All I'm.
Not at all. Do it OK.
So, so the question that I have for you, and this is a question
I try to ask everyone that I meet, OK, it is what lesson has
had the biggest impact on your joy, OK.
I need you to repeat that for me.
What lesson has had the biggest impact on your joy?
Oh, shit. There's two things.
There's two things that come to mind.
Yeah, I see. This is what happens when
everyone's, when everyone asks, well, what's the number one
thing? There's always two or three
things that come up. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna be
arrogant and share both. The first is my mother was
diagnosed severely bipolar, bipolar 1 when I was just six
months old. So I lived in pure chaos.
But this woman was one of the most beautiful souls that ever
walked to the earth. And she she did something that
really fucking made me crazy as a kid and a teenager because it
felt very invalidating to my needs.
And this is what she would do. I would say, mom so and so is
doing this like they did this to me, right?
Like real hurtful things. And she would always say, well,
honey, and I always knew what was coming.
Maybe they dot dot dot fill in the blank.
She was always playing devil's advocate.
She was always looking at let's give them the better benefit of
the doubt what was going on for them.
Shut the fuck up mom on what was going on for them.
They are fucking with me. But having that Oh my God, now I
look at that. What a gift she was teaching me
of compassion of that it's, it's really not about me.
It's about their experience and what's going on for them.
What a gift she gave me. OK, so that's the first one.
The second one is, and I find this interesting.
I'm answering your question with two of the most negative things
that have ever happened in my life, right?
These are the fucking gifts, people.
This is where it comes from. So when I get really excited, I
curse even more. So there we have it.
But I was with, I was in a relationship where I was with a
narcissist and I had never experienced that before.
And I had never experienced in that.
It was during that relationship that I was finally diagnosed
with complex PTSD. So I'd also never realized the
level of dysregulation and dissociation that I would
experience than I did with this person.
But holy shit, coming out of that and, and I, we, we're
talking about vulnerable or radical vulnerability.
In episode 10 of my podcast, I talk about taking radical
responsibility for everything that happens in your life.
I brought that relationship in to dig up churn up from the very
bottom of the of my internal ocean, all of my unhealed
trauma. He he was mirroring all of my
unhealed trauma from my past. And so when I look when I could
look at it that way, and then I just like deep dove into
psychedelics, into EMDR, somatic healing, all my complex PTSD,
giving up alcohol. Are you kidding me?
That was the number one catalyst for being like my almost talk
about arrogance. I'm fucking awesome now.
I am awesome. I am unapologetically awesome.
And so yes. And that came from like those
things came from the darkest, darkest times in my life.
So not to say that they weren't hard and I had to grieve, but
what gifts they were. Did I answer your question?
No. Absolutely.
And and I just want to build off.
You said they came from the darkest moments of your life and
what came to mind there? And I'm so grateful to hear that
you've, you know, you've explored all these alternative
modalities like psychedelic therapy.
I did a darkness retreat. And some of the best lessons of
my life came from being alone in the dark with no distractions.
And I'd say one of the best lessons from that experience was
realizing that I don't need hundreds of friends to be happy.
I just need like 4 good friends. I just need 4 healthy,
supportive, unconditional cheerleaders in my life and
that's all I need to to thrive. So yeah, darkness, it's a great
place. Well, and, and talk about the
skill, right? And, and the things that the S,
the 5S S that pull us out of being within and that darkness
and being alone. I mean, there's no you, you're
literally cutting off sight, right?
You're literally cutting it off so that you can access your
truth, your high self, your inner knowing, all that wants to
come out, all that wants to be heard, all that wants to be
shared with the world when you cut those things out.
By the way, we're going to talk about radical vulnerability.
I'm working on sugar right now. That's my, that's my next
frontier. I just like, I just want to say
I had, I knew this was going to be a good show, but I had no
idea how good it was going to be.
And I just want, I just want to thank you because.
I need this energy in my life and I really enjoyed this and I
just, I know that it's such a gift that you're here and I just
want to say how much you're appreciated.
Yeah, Chris, I hope to eventually dance through the
streets with you and spread joy to all that we encounter and put
put our hard work to use for the.
Well, you're definitely going to come to my retreat center once
that opens up. But I think we.
Oh, yeah, for sure. We're going to have we're going
to have joy retreats. Oh, we're going to Just Dance
and sing. I can't wait.
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