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Welcome to the Cricket Fixes 
podcast, where we tackle the 

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tough topics of personal 
development, sprinkled with some

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raw vulnerability and a touch of
humor. 

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I'm your host Cricket, and each 
episode we're diving into the 

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realms of healing, growth, and 
self discovery. 

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So let's be fearless and awesome
together. 

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It's time to get your cricket 
fix. 

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Well, I just know that this show
is probably gonna go down as one

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of my all time favorites. 
I think there's gonna be a lot 

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of laughs happening, so I just 
wanna welcome Jacuzzi to the 

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show. 
OK, we we are here everyone. 

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This is the party scientist 
we're we're going to have a lot 

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of fun on this episode. 
Let's do it. 

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Let's do it. 
We're going to have the best 

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time. 
So I found you on Instagram way 

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too late. 
Like the universe should have 

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brought me into, into my orbit 
way sooner because I, Oh my 

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gosh, I so resonated with your 
energy, your vibe, your message,

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your background, your story. 
Like there's so much to it. 

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And I know today we're talking 
about unlocking joy through like

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radical vulnerability. 
And, and I think like, I thought

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I was good at being vulnerable. 
No, like I have so much to learn

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from you as well. 
So I'm so excited you're here. 

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Please start with your 
background because I think it's 

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really powerful. 
Yeah, so happy to be here as 

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well. 
I love that word vulnerability. 

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You know, I have, I used to be a
lot more socially anxious and 

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afraid and small, right. 
And so I'm really excited to 

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share my journey of kind of ever
increasing that zone of 

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vulnerability. 
And I'm really an advocate for 

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expanding it as much as possible
because when we're vulnerable 

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and when we're expressive, it's 
contagious and it makes people 

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feel safe and it makes people 
express themselves more, whether

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that's goofiness, whether that's
sadness, whether that's stress. 

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But yeah. 
Yeah, pretty much. 

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You know, I was meant to be the 
party scientist, but I also 

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wasn't right like my family 
were. 

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They were pushing me in the 
direction of Med school. 

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So I was in a pre Med program. 
I was volunteering as a medic at

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all these events. 
I was shadowing doctors. 

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I was in a laboratory for 
neuroscience and I was on that 

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path. 
I was on the very conventional 

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career path and eventually I, I 
met someone and I attended a 

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party and, and I, I witnessed 
the magic of creating social 

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environments that are so well 
designed that people don't need 

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substances to, to access that 
joy, right? 

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It, it was like the first time I
had ever experienced like 

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natural ecstasy in a group. 
Of course, before that the seed 

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was already planted because I 
had been a medic for multiple 

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years and I had saved a bunch of
young people's lives. 

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Like I'm talking, I would 
literally walk like really 

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wasted girls to their mothers 
who were picking them up from 

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the festival. 
Like I had these experiences of 

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being a support for really 
vulnerable people who were 

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totally destroying their bodies 
and thank God they were young 

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because their bodies are so 
resilient. 

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But I had this experience, this 
dichotomy of, hey, we're 

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celebrating life. 
This is the best part of life. 

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We're going to experience the 
most amount of joy possible. 

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Oh, and guess what? 
This is a totally 

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self-destructive behavior. 
We're going to celebrate life in

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a self-destructive way. 
Like, that makes no sense. 

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So I set out to start leading 
sober parties. 

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At first it was like I was the 
most judgmental sobriety nerd 

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ever. 
So judgmental, So like, icky, so

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cringy. 
But my events, yeah, my events 

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went totally viral, like on 
Facebook, I would get thousands 

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of people clicking on my events 
and they blew up. 

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And eventually the, you know, 
the police, the police called me

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on my personal cell phone, like 
asking me to shut down one of my

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parties. 
And I just, I went, I went ahead

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with it anyway. 
I don't know, but I was in the 

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lab, I was in the neuroscience 
lab when the the officer called 

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me. 
So I LED all these sober 

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parties. 
But but truly the most important

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thing here is how do we prevent 
disease with the antidepressant 

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of joy, with the antidepressant 
of movement, like dancing, human

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contact, eye contact, hugging, 
laughter, sweating, like all 

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these things are so healthy. 
And you know, we put when we 

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make it feel fun and we design 
it into a party, it's just, it's

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just like the ultimate health 
practice. 

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And like, I'm a total health 
nerd. 

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And so really I'm just like 
hiding. 

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I'm like hiding health under the
the guise of fun. 

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But it's like, it's the most 
powerful health intervention 

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ever. 
So there you go. 

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That makes me think of, so I've,
I'm almost two years alcohol 

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free, really excited about that.
And I've, you know, I, I didn't 

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think that I was using it to 
have fun 'cause I, I've always 

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self identified as being very 
vulnerable, being very myself 

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and can have fun in any 
situation. 

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But I, what I really found is 
about 6 months into being 

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alcohol free, I had to give 
myself permission and a new way 

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to be myself, my authentic self 
and really step into the whole, 

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who gives a fuck what I look 
like right now? 

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So like I want to, I want to 
kind of tap into the work that 

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you're doing to give, like 
giving people permission to be 

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themselves unapologetically, 
like joyfully and 

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unapologetically themselves. 
How do you create that framework

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work in your parties? 
Yeah. 

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Well, I first just want to 
emphasize that this is such a 

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larger conversation than merely 
event design. 

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Like we want to go through the 
world and we want to make people

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feel emotionally safe. 
We want them to drop their 

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guard, not worry about how 
beautiful they look or how high 

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status they look. 
We want them to laugh loud. 

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We want them to access silliness
and goofiness. 

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Like that is so rare in adult 
communication, right? 

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If you can go through the world 
and activate that in people, 

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you're just going to have so 
much more fun. 

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Your life is going to be so much
better. 

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And the truth is every single 
person you see on the street has

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that in them. 
They have this ability to, to 

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just be jolly and, and to, to 
reveal their emotional spectrum.

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Right. 
I also just want to emphasize 

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before I answer your question. 
Crickets. 

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Like we, we don't like the irony
is that the more that we 

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experience sadness and 
depression and we learn from 

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these emotions, the more joy we 
can have in our lives. 

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I agree. 
So we also want people we want 

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people to feel OK bringing 
difficult things to the table. 

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We want people to to celebrate 
some of the hardships they're 

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having and the ability to to 
talk about them openly. 

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And yeah, we don't want to 
identify with them. 

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We don't want to victimize 
ourselves. 

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We want to process them in 
community and we want to use 

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them to elevate our joy and 
thrive and bounce back, right. 

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So it's not about living in 
these emotions, it's about 

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bouncing back even more joyful. 
And this is something that's 

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often misunderstood about my 
work is this is not toxic 

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positivity. 
This is appreciate exactly. 

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Yeah, it's not just butterflies 
and rainbows absolutely 

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bypassing. 
But but here's the thing, like 

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I'm probably like everyone 
listening. 

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You're probably listening to one
of the most like misunderstood 

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people online. 
Like I receive 12:50 criticism 

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to praise online 100%. 
And it's because it's because 

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people think that I'm on drugs. 
They think that this is this 

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happiness must be fake because 
it's too much. 

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And the reality is, the reality 
is people would rather be around

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sad people than happy people. 
Because when people are super 

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happy, it makes us look inward 
and be like, why am I not happy?

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What's wrong with me? 
No, it's not not anything wrong 

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with me. 
It's wrong with them. 

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And so it's just a mirror. 
But the point is, so many 

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people, they want their 
unhappiness to be justified. 

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They want to know that their 
unhappiness is not because of 

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them. 
But the truth is, your 

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unhappiness is because of you. 
I don't care about my past. 

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I don't care about your past. 
You have so much more control 

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over your joy in this present 
moment than you can imagine. 

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And when you learn the skills of
Physiology, of human connection,

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you know, the the fundamentals 
of health, of social 

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intelligence, wow, joy is 
everywhere. 

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And and that's part of our 
Joymaker oath. 

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And that's why I'm on this earth
and crickets. 

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You seem to me to be a Joymaker,
right? 

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You probably uplift a lot of 
people that that come into 

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contact with you. 
Yeah, and. 

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A compliment like you have good 
energy, right? 

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Am I? 
Yes, yes. 

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And people tell me things. 
People tell me a lot of things. 

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And I'm also like, I'm, I also 
relate to what you're saying 

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about that, that criticism. 
I remember a friend telling me 

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when I was around 28 years old, 
she's like, it's really hard to 

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be your friend because I will 
step into a room and just 

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fucking own it. 
And not in a, not in an 

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overpowering way, just in a, 
like, I'm just here to like play

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and connect. 
And I, I want to go deep with 

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people fast. 
And that that brings connection 

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quickly, right? 
When I was 14 years old, I've 

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shared this story. 
I was acutely aware of how open 

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I was and how vulnerable I was 
and how rare that was. 

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But it's also what led people to
share so much with me because I 

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can hold space for that. 
So I just wanted to like it. 

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It can be a lonely Rd. being so 
joyful. 

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And people get really irritated 
when you reframe negativity. 

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So what I try to do now is like,
let me validate your experience 

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'cause I, I do think that's an 
important part of the process 

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of, of reframing negativity. 
But let's like move into what 

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are you gaining from this? 
Like what, what is the lesson? 

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What is the gift in the 
hardship? 

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Like if you just look at my past
on paper, there is so much to 

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mourn. 
But no, I, I'm like, well, thank

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God I'm resilient to get through
it. 

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And that I do have this 
perspective because what I 

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learned from it is the only 
reason why I'm able to build 

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what I'm building today. 
And I'm I'm sure you can relate 

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to that. 
They're gifts. 

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Amen to that. 
Absolutely. 

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And I mean, this is just, these 
are just the fundamentals of 

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choosing our perspective, right?
And, and so often, you know, 

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you, you spoke about drinking 
earlier and you know, a lot of 

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people drink on autopilot. 
They drink and they don't even 

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choose to drink. 
It's just an autopilot decision.

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And a very many humans, they 
don't choose how they view 

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events in their lives, right? 
So what are we telling 

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ourselves? 
And are we actually in control 

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of our minds? 
And you know, like ultimately 

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our relationship with our mind 
predicts everything like all 

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escapism, all escapism, you 
know, like there's 5SS, right? 

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There's five kind of 
dysfunctional forms of joy, and 

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they all start with S you're. 
New to. 

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US substances, sugar and salt 
screens stuff. 

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And the last one, it might, 
might upset a few people here is

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sights, right? 
This this idea that you need to 

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go somewhere to find joy. 
You need to travel. 

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You need to be on top of the 
mountain. 

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You need to be in the Grand 
Canyon. 

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You need to be on a boat. 
Like these sources of joy are 

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just like they're just, they're 
just so external and they're 

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they're less reliant on skills. 
So the opposite is skills. 

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OK, so develop skills, develop 
skills. 

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How do you develop skills? 
You make mistakes and you 

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reflect on those mistakes and 
you get better over time, right.

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And yeah, so, so you know, the, 
the perspective piece is really 

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important. 
The relationship we have with 

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our mind is really important. 
And that's really like the first

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step. 
Like you sure you can have a war

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inside your head and you can 
still get joy by saying hello to

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people on the side of the street
and, and practicing some of 

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these Joymaker interventions, 
right? 

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Going out in the world, giving 
some high fives, complimenting 

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people's outfits, you know, 
complimenting someone's dog. 

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You don't have to make it deep 
at all. 

226
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,920
This can elevate your joy. 
But if you have a war inside 

227
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,840
your head, you're going to 
escape to one of those five s s 

228
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,520
substances, screens, salt and 
sugar, right? 

229
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:15,560
Screens if you have a war. 
So, so, and, and this is not my 

230
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:19,920
expertise, like my expertise is 
in social intelligence and group

231
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,280
facilitation. 
That's my expertise. 

232
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,600
It used to be just group, group 
facilitation 'cause I was 

233
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,320
socially an idiot. 
Let's just be real. 

234
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:35,600
Still, I still fuck up so much 
people like OK, OK, so. 

235
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,400
So I'm continuing my rant here. 
I hope that's OK. 

236
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,120
Chrissa. 
So, so you, you mentioned the 

237
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,640
gift piece I wanna actually 
read. 

238
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,400
I wanna read my latest post that
I just made today. 

239
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:54,560
So I had a family member send me
a really hurtful message 

240
00:15:54,680 --> 00:16:00,280
recently, but I translated it 
into a gift. 

241
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,800
And so let me read this to you 
and it's, it's really good. 

242
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,400
Like that, like this is like 
radical vulnerability right 

243
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,480
here. 
Yeah, absolutely. 

244
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,720
And, and I'll just say, Chris, 
we all have different 

245
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,120
experiences with vulnerability. 
And like for me, you know, I've 

246
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,160
received so much online 
criticism that I'm, I'm like an 

247
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:26,000
alien, like, because it's been 
such a game, right? 

248
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,280
But anyway, let me read this to 
you, OK? 

249
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:34,200
I blocked a family member after 
ditching my pharmacology medical

250
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,440
career. 
This person has always been 

251
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,640
judgmental, always making subtle
remarks about how I should get a

252
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,880
real job. 
It hurts, it really does, but 

253
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,760
it's been the greatest gift. 
It's taught me to develop will, 

254
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:52,480
a will to pursue my impact, my 
passion, my path, regardless of 

255
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,120
approval. 
When you're trying to shift 

256
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,080
social norms, anticipate being 
hurt. 

257
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,680
When you speak honestly, 
anticipate being hurt. 

258
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,800
When you call out this 
self-destructive culture we live

259
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:09,400
in, causing people to binge on 
substances, sugar, fat screens 

260
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,720
and stuff, anticipate being 
hurt, people assume that party 

261
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,359
scientist guy, he's had an easy 
life, he's this, he's that. 

262
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,200
But no, I've had my struggles. 
I just choose joy. 

263
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:26,200
I practice joy. 
I focus on joy because life is 

264
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:31,440
better when I move forward 
vibrantly instead of complaining

265
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,320
about my problems, chasing 
validation or sulking. 

266
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,160
Take the criticism. 
Make it your fuel, baby. 

267
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,560
Mic drop. 
Oh my gosh, so much is spinning 

268
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,360
in my head right now. 
And the very best way. 

269
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,600
And I'm what I'm looking at. 
I'll be radically vulnerable, 

270
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,200
right? 
Because people do they make 

271
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,040
assumptions and stories about 
you. 

272
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,720
Oh, they have it all figured 
out. 

273
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,560
No, we don't. 
We're we're figuring it out 

274
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,000
along the way. 
But what you have figured out 

275
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,320
and that I'm hearing that's 
coming through so clearly is you

276
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,320
have put your foot down. 
You have put the the stake in 

277
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:17,640
the ground saying I choose joy, 
like no matter what I choose 

278
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:21,880
joy. 
And one thing that so this last 

279
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,600
week, like I'm not super into 
astrology, but this full moon 

280
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:30,360
and Torah shit was like legit, I
was like, holy shit, what the 

281
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:37,320
fuck is going on? 
And and what was wild is if 

282
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:42,440
these things that happened to me
three years ago, I would have 

283
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,200
been like, like, I can't handle 
this. 

284
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,400
Like this is too much. 
Like why is this like what the 

285
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,440
fuck universe? 
Like God, what source divine, 

286
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:58,320
like it's too much. 
And because of all the this idea

287
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:02,320
of reframing right and finding 
the gifts and everything and 

288
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,680
really, OK, let me lean into the
astrology and what is it trying 

289
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,480
to do? 
Let me go to the masters. 

290
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:13,520
And it was a very big clearing. 
It was like the universe and and

291
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,680
astrology said no more like 
these things have to go, 

292
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,200
literally have to go. 
You can't make this shit up. 

293
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:27,240
One of my very, very, very 
closest friends removed me from 

294
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:33,960
their life in the most abrupt, 
shocking, stunning, mind 

295
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:38,480
boggling way. 
And again, three years ago, I 

296
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:41,520
would have been devastated. 
I would have been internalizing 

297
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:42,600
it. 
I would have been like, what 

298
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,280
about me? 
What did I do? 

299
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,920
Taking way too much 
responsibility. 

300
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,440
And yes, I am grieving it. 
And I want to send this message 

301
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:56,040
because I do feel grief. 
I do feel pain, but I, I process

302
00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:01,400
it so much more quickly and then
I'm I'm able to move into the 

303
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,120
what is the gift and then the 
integration to then take that 

304
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,880
into my life's work, right. 
And and your life's work like 

305
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,480
like you were saying. 
But I literally am looking at it

306
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,840
now like this is a really sad 
event. 

307
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:21,880
But this was nothing that I did,
and if anything, it's a gift 

308
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,240
because it's been weighing on me
for a year and a half, the 

309
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:30,840
imbalance of energy. 
And that what I need right now 

310
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:35,040
in order to grow Cricket Fixes 
to the vision I have for it. 

311
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:39,920
I need reciprocity. 
I need to be in relationship 

312
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,160
with people that are giving as 
much to me as I am to them. 

313
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,240
It's just where I am because all
of my selfless acts are in 

314
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,240
Cricket fixes. 
They can't be in my close 

315
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,640
relationships. 
And what a fucking gift that is 

316
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,520
to recognize that. 
And yes, it's sad and yes, it's 

317
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,960
a loss, but this was ultimately 
a gift. 

318
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,600
Oh like, oh, I got chills. 
I got chills. 

319
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:09,520
Just like recounting that and 
being grateful that I'm also 

320
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,400
alcohol free because I, I do 
want to say this and then I'll 

321
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,640
shut up and give it back to you.
I want like this is so important

322
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,840
for me to say. 
Alcohol is a veil to joy. 

323
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,600
It is a block to joy. 
It is a wall to joy. 

324
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:31,000
It is it is a block to this 
ability to reframe and it it's a

325
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:36,960
block to the ability, even if 
the the day after, the day after

326
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:41,320
you're still in that fog, you're
still in that I can't connect. 

327
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,440
And for me, you know, I say this
without any shame. 

328
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:52,400
I understand clearly my abuse 
with alcohol, but what it was 

329
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:57,640
robbing me in connection is 
astounding. 

330
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,600
Now that I'm nearly two years 
out of it, it is astounding. 

331
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:06,200
So I just, I want to kind of 
bring it back to this, you know,

332
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:11,360
your work with bringing joy to 
people outside of like how you 

333
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:14,520
started the conversation. 
People are going to a festival 

334
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,280
with the intention of 
experiencing the ultimate 

335
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:22,680
connection and joy when they're 
actually preventing that from 

336
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,960
happening. 
OK, that's enough on me for a 

337
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,040
minute. 
Well, well. 

338
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:31,400
I know you wanna, I, I have a 
lot of opinions about alcohol, 

339
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:36,640
of course, but I really 
appreciated what you said and 

340
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,200
what you shared about your 
friend removing you from your 

341
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:46,040
life so abruptly. 
And yeah, that that hurts when 

342
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:50,320
when there's no reason and you 
don't have enough feedback to 

343
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,040
become better. 
It it really sucks. 

344
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:59,040
And what I'm hearing from you is
that it caused you to refocus on

345
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,320
a bigger impact that you can 
have. 

346
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,240
And you know how that relates 
with me. 

347
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:12,960
The irony of my life is I I'm on
this mission of creating so much

348
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:20,000
joy, and sometimes I have to put
my boundaries up and say, hey, I

349
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,520
can't be your friend and I don't
want to spend time with you 

350
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,880
because you're draining me. 
Yeah. 

351
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,200
And. 
I've hurt people, I've hurt 

352
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,240
people by and I use AI now. 
I keep it really professional 

353
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:40,640
because people cannot handle it.
People cannot handle me saying, 

354
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:46,880
hey, I'm on a larger mission and
I don't have the bandwidth to 

355
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,000
caretake for you and and help 
you get to a better place. 

356
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:56,960
Like I think the number one, the
number one predictor of 

357
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:05,400
someone's joy is merely the 
amount of behaviors surrounding 

358
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,440
them that support joy. 
Meaning, do your people around 

359
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:14,640
you practice consistent 
behaviors that elevate joy, 

360
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,320
right. 
Do they sleep well? 

361
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,080
Do they eat well? 
Do they exercise? 

362
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,720
Do they go dancing? 
Do they socialize? 

363
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:28,160
You know, do they journal? 
Like all these practices, these 

364
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,680
are behaviors, you know, there's
no belief. 

365
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,960
It's all just, it all just 
works. 

366
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,440
It's evidence. 
And I'm like, I'm the party 

367
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,280
scientist and I'm serious about 
science and I want predictable 

368
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:46,120
results. 
And so I call this this 

369
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:51,120
intervention, right? 
PPP you're positive. 

370
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,840
Peer pod. 
You want peers, you don't want 

371
00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:00,640
people who are are struggling 
beneath you Yes, you can help 

372
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,600
those people, but you don't want
them in your inner circle 

373
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,520
holding you back. 
You want to help those people 

374
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,920
professionally or you want to 
help them get the professional 

375
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:15,640
help they need. 
But we wow, people are so people

376
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,440
pleasing. 
We're so afraid of of putting 

377
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,960
our boundaries up and rightfully
so, because you'll hurt people. 

378
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,080
But guess what? 
You're going to have a greater 

379
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:29,120
impact if you put up boundaries 
and you tell people, I'm sorry, 

380
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:33,040
I don't have the bandwidth to be
your friend because it's 

381
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,480
draining me and it's preventing 
me from giving my joy to 

382
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,480
everyone else around me and like
sparking joy in the world. 

383
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,360
So that's, that's one piece of 
it. 

384
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:48,280
And like I, I advocate for 
inclusive exclusivity. 

385
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,600
That's like my whole philosophy 
and it applies to events. 

386
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,640
It also applies to the positive 
Purepod. 

387
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,440
You don't want victims in your 
positive Purepod. 

388
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:03,080
If you have victims in your 
positive Purepod, no one is 

389
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:07,200
going to want to express joy. 
It's, it's not inclusive to have

390
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,960
a, a negative person in a 
positive Purepod because then no

391
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,800
one feels safe to express 
themselves. 

392
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,840
So we're stuck up on this 
inclusivity norm and the 

393
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,160
inclusivity, the radical 
inclusivity, what it's creating 

394
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:24,520
is it's actually harming the 
emotional safety in our 

395
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,880
communities and in our friend 
groups. 

396
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:34,480
And so like be less inclusive, 
but be very intentional about 

397
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,640
it. 
And that's going to help you 

398
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,240
forge for invest in the 
relationships that fill your 

399
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,440
cups so that you can go out into
the world and you can make 

400
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,720
people's day. 
And you, well, that's just. 

401
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,720
Fully. 
Present, yeah. 

402
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:53,800
That that is just it. 
And that's that's a hard, you 

403
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:58,080
know, as we do this work, I'm 
sure you experienced this along 

404
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,680
your way with your growth of 
your purpose, right? 

405
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:04,880
The more that you dive into your
purpose and do this work. 

406
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,680
You're. 
You're on a, you're, you're on a

407
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,400
conveyor belt that's fucking 
hauling ass, right, Because 

408
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,440
you're, you're giving energy to 
that. 

409
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:18,760
And then those, those 
relationships that, that can't 

410
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,280
meet you in that same place, 
they just start, they, they 

411
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:26,360
really find a way. 
They find a way through one way 

412
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:28,960
or another, they're going to 
find a way to separate. 

413
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:34,160
This is why I tell people that 
when I got married, I'm divorced

414
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:39,600
now, but when I got married, we 
intentionally did not say so 

415
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,800
death do us part. 
In fact, we said we will commit 

416
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:47,080
to a year at a time. 
And and I'm so glad that we had 

417
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:51,720
the the wisdom way back then to 
say no, if we aren't growing 

418
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,720
together, I don't want to be a 
part of this. 

419
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:57,120
So I really, I think that was 
another like if I'm talking 

420
00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:03,680
about radical vulnerability, 
I've always had this perception 

421
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:12,320
of impermanence in relationship 
because I, I'm just, I'm so 

422
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,640
forward. 
Up with you, yeah. 

423
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:19,600
I'm just like forward, onward, 
keep going, keep going like it's

424
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,120
and, and again, it's not 
spiritual bypassing, It's not 

425
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:28,520
grief bypassing, but I just tend
to process it faster. 

426
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,440
And when it comes back around, I
don't ignore it. 

427
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,840
I'm like, all right, let's go, 
let's grieve. 

428
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,400
You want to grieve. 
And the conversations I have 

429
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,240
with my inner children don't 
even and get me started because 

430
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,560
they have full permission to 
show up grieving about things 

431
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,360
from 30 years ago. 
I'm like you can show up 

432
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,240
anytime, you can show up 
anytime. 

433
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,320
But mom is going to stay 
centered and forward focused. 

434
00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:02,200
I I love that so much and 
listening to these emotions, 

435
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:10,880
what is the emotion telling me? 
How can I interpret the emotion 

436
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:15,000
constructively? 
Why do I hate this person? 

437
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,880
Why do I feel threatened? 
Why? 

438
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:24,200
Do I feel insecure about this? 
Well, if you just tune into 

439
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:29,080
that, then you'll, you'll, 
you're just like, it's just all 

440
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,800
a mirror, right? 
And so when we see the world as 

441
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:36,160
a mirror, we can gain lessons 
from all these negative 

442
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:41,240
emotions. 
So, so let's let's come back to 

443
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,840
to alcohol. 
And I, I just want to emphasize 

444
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:45,560
the point there. 
And then I actually want to ask 

445
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:51,160
you a question. 
But pretty much pretty much like

446
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:57,920
we live in a world that tells 
you to eat joy, to consume joy 

447
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:04,320
on a screen, to find joy through
poisons like alcohol and 

448
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,080
marijuana. 
I'm just and, and vaping. 

449
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,360
I, I, there's no, by the way, 
there's there's no, there's a 

450
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,880
scientific consensus. 
Now these things are poison. 

451
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,120
And I'm sorry, I'm sorry to 
break it to anyone who loves 

452
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,000
their cake. 
Cake is poison too. 

453
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:24,000
Now listen, like, but see the 
beginning, the first step is 

454
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,400
realizing that mainstream 
culture is trying to get you 

455
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,560
addicted to poison for sure. 
That's what mainstream culture 

456
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:35,760
is designed to do. 
So basically the long term 

457
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,200
approach to joy. 
And not just joy, but 

458
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,600
joyfulness. 
How do you become a joyful 

459
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,960
person? 
It's not just about chasing 

460
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,240
temporary joy, it's about 
becoming a more joyful person as

461
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,440
a trait. 
Well, how do you do that? 

462
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,240
Well, you need to move away from
whatever you're using as a 

463
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:57,360
crutch, like alcohol. 
But listen, like alcohol isn't 

464
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:01,960
the only enemy your your enemy 
could be something healthy too. 

465
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,360
You could have a dysfunctional 
relationship with anything. 

466
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,200
You could have a dysfunctional 
relationship with personal 

467
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,400
growth podcasts with Pickle. 
You could. 

468
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,760
I mean, pickleball's good 
because it's so social. 

469
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,720
Pickleball's a good game, so. 
Addictive. 

470
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:21,560
I want to play. 
More pickleball. 

471
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:26,480
Seriously. 
Because I intergenerational 

472
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,000
socializations. 
That's what I want. 

473
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,480
Yeah, it's the best SO. 
OK. 

474
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,040
So I'll just wrap. 
This up. 

475
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:37,320
So essentially the long term 
approach to becoming more joyful

476
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,440
is focusing on skills instead of
circumstances. 

477
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,560
Yeah, and absolutely money 
matters. 

478
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,640
Absolutely if you hate your job,
that matters. 

479
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:52,480
But what the research shows us 
consistently is that our 

480
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:57,240
circumstances is, is like 10 to 
20% of our happiness. 

481
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:02,760
Most of our happiness, like 30 
to 40% is genetic. 

482
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,960
And then the rest is like in our
control. 

483
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:10,520
And, and it's, it's our attitude
and how much social, positive 

484
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,440
social encounters we have in our
lives. 

485
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:20,160
And so if social intelligence is
the greatest multiplier of 

486
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:26,600
happiness that I know, because 
if you can get a mood boost from

487
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:31,880
everyone you encounter and you 
can become a social person. 

488
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,720
And I know what all the 
introverts are thinking, not me.

489
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,960
I like to be alone. 
I like to hang out with my dog. 

490
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,160
I hate to break it to all the 
introverts, and I hate to break 

491
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,480
it to you, Krista, but the 
randomized control trials show 

492
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,720
that when introverts socialize 
more, they become happier. 

493
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,440
And so this isn't just 
extroverts introvert bullshit. 

494
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:56,680
This is human species. 
This is hardwired into us. 

495
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:03,640
And so social intelligence is 
the ultimate skill amplifier for

496
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:07,880
joy. 
And the more that we reflect on 

497
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,040
our social encounters, like 
tomorrow, I'm going to go on a 

498
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,600
walk and I'm going to reflect, 
you know what I'm going to 

499
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,600
reflect on? 
I'm going to reflect on how how 

500
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:20,040
opinionated my tone was during 
this this podcast. 

501
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,880
I'm learning, I'm learning to 
speak like a little less 

502
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,880
intensely and more playfully. 
So I'm going to I'm going to 

503
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,560
journal tomorrow. 
And I bet you I'm going to point

504
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:35,400
out that I was a little too like
arrogant during this podcast. 

505
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,080
I don't think so at. 
All I'm. 

506
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,600
Not at all. 
Do it OK. 

507
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,040
So, so the question that I have 
for you, and this is a question 

508
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:54,600
I try to ask everyone that I 
meet, OK, it is what lesson has 

509
00:33:54,600 --> 00:34:00,520
had the biggest impact on your 
joy, OK. 

510
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,800
I need you to repeat that for 
me. 

511
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,640
What lesson has had the biggest 
impact on your joy? 

512
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:14,880
Oh, shit. 
There's two things. 

513
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,719
There's two things that come to 
mind. 

514
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:19,880
Yeah, I see. 
This is what happens when 

515
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,760
everyone's, when everyone asks, 
well, what's the number one 

516
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,280
thing? 
There's always two or three 

517
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,920
things that come up. 
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna be 

518
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:31,760
arrogant and share both. 
The first is my mother was 

519
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:35,719
diagnosed severely bipolar, 
bipolar 1 when I was just six 

520
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,320
months old. 
So I lived in pure chaos. 

521
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:43,280
But this woman was one of the 
most beautiful souls that ever 

522
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:47,639
walked to the earth. 
And she she did something that 

523
00:34:47,639 --> 00:34:53,080
really fucking made me crazy as 
a kid and a teenager because it 

524
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,679
felt very invalidating to my 
needs. 

525
00:34:56,679 --> 00:35:01,800
And this is what she would do. 
I would say, mom so and so is 

526
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,320
doing this like they did this to
me, right? 

527
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:09,880
Like real hurtful things. 
And she would always say, well, 

528
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,600
honey, and I always knew what 
was coming. 

529
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,360
Maybe they dot dot dot fill in 
the blank. 

530
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,040
She was always playing devil's 
advocate. 

531
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:23,360
She was always looking at let's 
give them the better benefit of 

532
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,280
the doubt what was going on for 
them. 

533
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,600
Shut the fuck up mom on what was
going on for them. 

534
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:37,000
They are fucking with me. 
But having that Oh my God, now I

535
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,840
look at that. 
What a gift she was teaching me 

536
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:45,520
of compassion of that it's, it's
really not about me. 

537
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,960
It's about their experience and 
what's going on for them. 

538
00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:52,960
What a gift she gave me. 
OK, so that's the first one. 

539
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,360
The second one is, and I find 
this interesting. 

540
00:35:56,360 --> 00:36:00,160
I'm answering your question with
two of the most negative things 

541
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,880
that have ever happened in my 
life, right? 

542
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,000
These are the fucking gifts, 
people. 

543
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:09,920
This is where it comes from. 
So when I get really excited, I 

544
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,400
curse even more. 
So there we have it. 

545
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:19,120
But I was with, I was in a 
relationship where I was with a 

546
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,960
narcissist and I had never 
experienced that before. 

547
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,720
And I had never experienced in 
that. 

548
00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:29,560
It was during that relationship 
that I was finally diagnosed 

549
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:35,200
with complex PTSD. 
So I'd also never realized the 

550
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,960
level of dysregulation and 
dissociation that I would 

551
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,240
experience than I did with this 
person. 

552
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:48,840
But holy shit, coming out of 
that and, and I, we, we're 

553
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,040
talking about vulnerable or 
radical vulnerability. 

554
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:57,040
In episode 10 of my podcast, I 
talk about taking radical 

555
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,680
responsibility for everything 
that happens in your life. 

556
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:08,080
I brought that relationship in 
to dig up churn up from the very

557
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:13,320
bottom of the of my internal 
ocean, all of my unhealed 

558
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,560
trauma. 
He he was mirroring all of my 

559
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:22,400
unhealed trauma from my past. 
And so when I look when I could 

560
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:26,160
look at it that way, and then I 
just like deep dove into 

561
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:35,280
psychedelics, into EMDR, somatic
healing, all my complex PTSD, 

562
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,040
giving up alcohol. 
Are you kidding me? 

563
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:43,240
That was the number one catalyst
for being like my almost talk 

564
00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:46,080
about arrogance. 
I'm fucking awesome now. 

565
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,440
I am awesome. 
I am unapologetically awesome. 

566
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,800
And so yes. 
And that came from like those 

567
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,960
things came from the darkest, 
darkest times in my life. 

568
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,800
So not to say that they weren't 
hard and I had to grieve, but 

569
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,000
what gifts they were. 
Did I answer your question? 

570
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:08,920
No. 
Absolutely. 

571
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,440
And and I just want to build 
off. 

572
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:15,080
You said they came from the 
darkest moments of your life and

573
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,000
what came to mind there? 
And I'm so grateful to hear that

574
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,320
you've, you know, you've 
explored all these alternative 

575
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,680
modalities like psychedelic 
therapy. 

576
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,280
I did a darkness retreat. 
And some of the best lessons of 

577
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:35,640
my life came from being alone in
the dark with no distractions. 

578
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,760
And I'd say one of the best 
lessons from that experience was

579
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:48,440
realizing that I don't need 
hundreds of friends to be happy.

580
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:54,360
I just need like 4 good friends.
I just need 4 healthy, 

581
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:59,840
supportive, unconditional 
cheerleaders in my life and 

582
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:06,920
that's all I need to to thrive. 
So yeah, darkness, it's a great 

583
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:11,440
place. 
Well, and, and talk about the 

584
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,400
skill, right? 
And, and the things that the S, 

585
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:19,800
the 5S S that pull us out of 
being within and that darkness 

586
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,120
and being alone. 
I mean, there's no you, you're 

587
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,400
literally cutting off sight, 
right? 

588
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:29,640
You're literally cutting it off 
so that you can access your 

589
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,800
truth, your high self, your 
inner knowing, all that wants to

590
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:37,440
come out, all that wants to be 
heard, all that wants to be 

591
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,400
shared with the world when you 
cut those things out. 

592
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,440
By the way, we're going to talk 
about radical vulnerability. 

593
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:49,400
I'm working on sugar right now. 
That's my, that's my next 

594
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:55,360
frontier. 
I just like, I just want to say 

595
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:00,200
I had, I knew this was going to 
be a good show, but I had no 

596
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,880
idea how good it was going to 
be. 

597
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:07,320
And I just want, I just want to 
thank you because. 

598
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:14,240
I need this energy in my life 
and I really enjoyed this and I 

599
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:18,760
just, I know that it's such a 
gift that you're here and I just

600
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,720
want to say how much you're 
appreciated. 

601
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:28,840
Yeah, Chris, I hope to 
eventually dance through the 

602
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:32,960
streets with you and spread joy 
to all that we encounter and put

603
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,200
put our hard work to use for 
the. 

604
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:41,960
Well, you're definitely going to
come to my retreat center once 

605
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,400
that opens up. 
But I think we. 

606
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,080
Oh, yeah, for sure. 
We're going to have we're going 

607
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,560
to have joy retreats. 
Oh, we're going to Just Dance 

608
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,120
and sing. 
I can't wait. 

609
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,680
All right, well, let's do this. 
Are you ready for your own 

610
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,120
personal transformation? 
Tired of the patterns that are 

611
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:05,760
holding you back and you're 
ready to finally unleash your 

612
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,560
authentic self? 
Head over to cricketfixes.com. 

613
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,680
You're going to find memberships
packed with life changing 

614
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:17,200
courses, exclusive discounts to 
the partner marketplace and a 

615
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:21,000
community that's already waiting
to welcome you in. 

616
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:25,840
You can join for free or go all 
in and start your next chapter 

617
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:26,640
today.