Get away from her you bitch. Classic.
He was in the Amazon cry along when she was researching spiders
right before she died. No.
Hannah, you. Thought you could call a
prostitute or a dog at it I. Used to love doggy chow.
I used to love doggy chow, too. You want to roll around on the
floor like lovers? Do you want to?
Fuck me, Barbara, I'm Crystal. Wow.
Wow, that was an impressive impression.
Thank you. I adore lasagna.
I'm baby lame. And welcome to camp.
Classic a stupid movie about what is it?
I'm sorry, I'm just. Going to let you a thought
through a thoughtful. Podcast about stupid movies.
Every two weeks these two F slurs talk about movies and
decide if they're camp. And that's that is the two weeks
are never going to end. I feel like this is a death
sentence of podcast. Is is paedophilia camp?
Well, we're going to find out. What if it's a woman then then.
On today's podcast we are tackling paedophilia.
Pressure. But we are.
We are. We are head on.
But I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm going to smash it.
You can follow us on Instagram at Camp Classics Podcast and
make sure you're subscribed on whatever platform you happen to
be listening on. And if you're feeling extra
fruity, we have a Gatron where you can get a bonus episode
every month and support us making the show.
And it goes down in the Gatreon. Oh yeah.
Like I know like the main people listening to this, we mainly
talk about movies, but I feel like it's a therapy session.
The Gatreon. Yeah.
Or like STI counselling sessions.
Yeah. How are you actually since the
new year? How are you physically like?
What's been going on? Oh yeah, just crumbling.
Crumbling. Because you do.
You hurt your neck. Yeah, yeah.
I mean it's who cares or you ladies pop your pussy like this
honestly. Keeping it sexy for 2026?
Also, I know, like I know we've been done New Year's Eve now,
but do you have any INS and outs for the year?
Yeah, bitch, I'm going that. Episode is coming out like the
end of January so. Well, what are your insurance
and outs? Have they changed from before?
My insurance and outs and outs are just the.
Cookie and cool way. We don't do resolutions now, we
do insurance and outs. My insurance and outs crystal
are what they always were. Yeah, Dick in and out of butt
I'm. A.
Homosexual. There you go.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
Yeah. How about you?
No, I don't have any. I just, I just thought you
might. So, yeah, great.
Food in, shit out. Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah, these are practical. Yeah.
Finger in. Yeah.
Jizz out. Awful.
I'm a. Homosexual.
But you guys Speaking of the gay Tron, Yes, yes, yes.
You could be like Laura and Jonah who've both just joined as
pre trial members at the time of recording.
We have no idea if they've committed.
Are you there? Are you?
Still with us, Jonah? Yeah.
They're they're, they're teasing us right now.
We're. Dirty little edge Nords.
Oh, that like delicious phase where you're like, is it going
to happen? Is it not?
Yeah, and like maybe. Is this a date?
Like would you put out on the first date?
Well, Lauren, Jonah clearly won't.
Making us wait, yeah, because it's going to be good when it
when we get through. Our recent We recently released
we. Recently got shadow bands and
like blocked by several people from the gate shore.
Never ever go near us again you dirty dirty.
We did recently get reported on Spotify because I used a Guns
and Roses sound clip in our barbed wire episode.
I got a copyright notice, so I had to go in and, you know, do
some jiggery pokery. But yeah, we recently released a
Gatreon exclusive episode on the main feed barbed wire.
So that's a taste of like what you can get over on the
subscriber platform and I'm still.
I'm still gagged in groups. That, that was a thing.
That the copyright thing. Yeah.
Oh, it's boring. Well, the whole thing will go
down soon then. It's just fucking Axl Rose.
Like if anyone's going to get you, it's Axl Rose, isn't it?
Well, he's listening to this. What does that say about him?
Do you think he's our one person listening in Iceland?
That way he lives now he's. Probably on tour.
Axl Rose No, not camp. Not camp you silent or were you
silenced. You could also, you know, if
you're not ready to like, splurge out on the Gatreon, you
could drop us a little comment on Instagram like, I don't know,
Rose McGowan. Oh, she's still following us, is
she? What did she say?
She commented on our barbed wire episode.
Just the hottest thing on planet Earth in this movie.
And she's right. Well, if Rose McGowan says it,
then she she knows about these things.
Killed. Liz, I killed the teen dream.
Deal with it. But it does, it is nice to read
people's comments, you know, And it's like, it can be a critique
as well. Oh.
I don't mind if you slag us off. I find that quite funny.
I'd actually what I missed from like back in the day when you
first got on Drag Race, I felt like there was more hate
comments and I did find them quite funny.
And like nowadays, it's just a bit like I, you know, every now
and again, if I if I do something that's like linked
with something like an association or something, every
now and again, I'll be like, I look at you doing woman face and
it's like, obviously my clown drag is very do you.
Think I don't get those comments anymore.
Or do you still get them? Oh my God, yeah, because I go
viral sometimes talking about like Palestine or trans rights
and yeah it's just it'll be 10s of people calling me a freak F
slur clown. It feels reductive.
If you wanna see him, I can. I can show I.
Just quite like them when they're directed at me though,
right? Because it's funny.
I think it's funny too. I screenshot them.
I like screenshotting them and then looking at them next to
their profile. That's wonderful.
Yeah. But yeah.
So if you do want to send some hate our way, bring it on.
We're ready for you. Fuck me gently with the
chainsaw. Or you could be like Suzanne,
who sent us some love. I'll go on.
Suzanne said. So glad I discovered Kemp
Classics in the past year. Looking forward to more in 2026.
The recent Gremlins episode had me remembering this Key and Peel
sketch about the Gremlins 2 movie.
Oh, did you send it to me? Yeah, it's so funny.
And it's bang on. Yeah, yeah.
Vegetable gremlin, Broccoli gremlin, electric Gremlin.
It's so good. We should.
We'll have to cover gremlins too at some point. 100% It's a that
is a worse movie that is somehow better.
Yeah. Yeah.
Thanks, Suzanne. But baby, what makes a camp
classic? Well, because of the movie that
we are discussing today, I would really appreciate in the edit if
you could just get some like really over the top orchestral
scores coming. Really.
Eerie strings. Yeah, just like not us getting a
copyright infringement from Philip Glass.
I'm going to channel my Judi Dench now.
I am a trained actor so I should be able to just jump in the
camp. Classic is something that
unlocks queer joy. I want to get a wetty.
It needs to be stupid. It needs to have an ongoing
legacy and inform queer pop culture.
It needs to be anti mainstream underdog flop vibes that's been
reclaimed by the F slurs. Love it.
That was it, the amount I literally gave it my oh you just
went love it. Loves it.
I was trying to do a Judi Dench. I can't do it.
It's really hard. I don't think I did it
necessarily, no. But you, you gave Posh.
Yeah, I bought it. Yeah.
Today we're covering notes on a
scandal. You're not young.
It's a different kind of movie for us.
Well. We we have dipped our toes into
Lesbo. I have films we've done, but I'm
a cheerleader. We have Love, Lies, Bleeding.
Yes. What else have we done?
Burlesque is that. Basic Instinct.
Yes. Bisexual.
Yeah. Bisexual panic?
Yeah. Lesbian lesbian.
There's a lesbian in First Wives Club.
Oh, yes, there is. OK, so we've done our we've,
we've done our fair bit of lesbian, Yeah.
This one's very like, different, different kind of lesbian.
It's a completely. Different type of film.
We've never. This is like full on drama.
High camp melodrama. This movie, it, it, yeah, it's,
it's, it's taking itself very seriously.
And. And I feel like because of how
seriously it takes itself, when you get to business now and you
give us its background, we're going to be in a different
territory to the films we normally discuss on this.
Yeah, I don't. I actually don't have much
context of this movie because when like a small movie that is
prestigious gets made, there isn't like salacious Hollywood
Reporter style tell alls about people bitching at each other on
set. Which other movies?
Definitely. You get that full treatment,
don't you? You get all the gossip.
I've got no gossip but you. Must have critical acclaim for
this one, yes? So this movie, Notes on a
Scandal, was released in 2006, starring, of course, Judi Dench
and Kate Blanchett. Dench versus Blanchett.
It was made for $15 million, and it grossed in nearly 50 million
worldwide. So it was a big hit made back
its budget. It has 87% on Rotten Tomatoes,
one of the highest movies we've covered, I'd say.
Yeah, yeah, we're very. Normally in the 20s, yeah.
Yeah, so, you know, it's a well respected movie and it was
nominated for loads of awards, including.
Razzies. No razzies.
Oh yeah. Controversial I.
Know I know. No Razzies.
It was nominated for Best Actress and Best Supporting
Actress for Judy and Cate Blanchett.
It was adapted from a book of the same name by Zoe Heller and
it is loosely based on what is her name Mary.
It's loosely based, Mary. Kay Olsen.
Mary Olsen. It's loosely based on the Olsen
twins. The story.
Of Mary Kay Letourneau, who was an American School school
teacher who had a baby with her 12 year old student and ended up
marrying him and that story was then made into another movie
called May December starring Julianne, which.
I haven't seen. Natalie Portman should.
We talk about it on the podcast I.
Don't know. Oh, really?
OK. It's tough, but we'll get into
the the parallels of that a bit. But yeah, the writer of this
book, Zoe Heller, I think, was inspired by that story and then
was like, but what if it was British, Samantha?
Jones What's? Your history with the movie.
I think I might have watched it before when it was released
maybe and. Then you watch it again for
this, yeah. And that's it.
And I, Yeah. I mean, I think it's just one of
those things, isn't it? You throw around a name like
Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett and you're like, well, it must
be a good film. And yeah, yeah.
I had never seen it before, like about a year ago, and I think we
got so many requests for it. I was like, I don't want to
watch this movie. And I loved it.
And then it was in the suggestion sack, wasn't it?
And now here we are, and. That's what happens.
What? Happens.
So let's get into the plot. Yeah, I mean this all.
I feel a bit nervous at the moment.
Oh, just the whole thing. This whole experience is just
making me a bit nervy because there is a plot.
There is a plot, yeah. But I just feel like normally,
normally we just sort of dive into like slop that doesn't have
any real plot. You're like normally normally
I'm just on the lookout for like a week or something.
Can I loosely? Pinned together fight scenes or
musical numbers? Yeah.
And then just something that's like gay and then you shout that
out. And so basically I just, I'm not
sure how qualified I feel to talk about a movie that has a
coherent plot line with performances that are probably
quite good. Yeah.
So it's. New territory.
It's new. Territory.
So yeah, I'm up for it, but I'm just also a little bit nervous
because this isn't normally the kind of stuff we talk about.
Oh my. God, I believe in you.
Although you know we're not going to escape the The Woke
Film Review podcast stations anytime soon.
I can tell you that doing this movie bit of pressure, but I'm
sure it'll be fine. I'm going to smash it.
OK, so we meet Barbara Covet, played by Judi Dench.
She's a history teacher at a comprehensive school in London.
She's. Also a complete cunt.
She is a cow. She is.
An old boot I've written down. She describes herself as a
battle out. She is.
The definition it's like. Spinster.
Yeah, she lady, she is. Not here to play and she is
taking down anyone and oh honey, you think the library's open?
Just you wait until you get a read from old Barbara because
she's going to fucking tell you a new one with like.
The most flowery prose. I love Barbara, so she's
narrating this whole movie because she's writing it in her
diary. So you just, whenever you need
it, Barbara's there to just give you a little cutting witticism.
Nasty. Yeah, it's like nasty, but
without, like, being too brutal. It's like, it's like she uses
vocabulary that you would never use to just to add an extra
layer of how dumb and pathetic you are, doesn't she?
Yeah. She's the first scene is her
just describing the contempt she has for the students and
teachers at the school she works.
Very. Jarring because where we are, we
are in like, I don't know where Islington.
No, it is Islington, but it's like, obviously she's one type
of Islington posh. And then it looks pretty rough
ass, the school. And you are just like, how has
Barbara ended up teaching there? Because she she is very, very
like thespian, isn't she? Yeah.
She's kind of giving. What's that Lady Hyacinth
bouquet? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it's very that she's.
Just she thinks she's better than it all.
And you know what? I relate.
What does she? Say about the school, she
compared She's Have you got it like I've got?
This she's she's standing in the window looking at all the kids
coming in and she goes here. Come the local pubescent pros,
the future plumbers and shop assistants, and doubtless the
odd terrorist too. In the old days we confiscated
cigarettes and wack mags. Now it's knives and crack
cocaine. I mean, set up the scene, Mama.
Yeah, You know what I mean? Like it's.
It's wonderful and also. We've all been there, but
perhaps not with that level of vocabulary to to think that,
yeah. Yeah, Judi Dench is fucking
acting her heart out in this movie and you are just convinced
that she is this lady. Like it is so believable.
Well, it. Again, it's it's what I've said
just before about this podcast. It's new territory for us.
Someone who can just act to the point where we believe they're
the character. I'm not sure.
Maybe Michelle Pfeiffer? Is Catwoman the closest?
I guess Judy is kind of doing an M thing here, isn't she?
She's kind of doing the, like, bitter teacher version of M from
James Bond. So you're like, already you feel
safe because you, like, you've seen her play stern lady before,
but now it's just got this bitter, nasty twist.
And it's. Yeah.
And also the thing I do really like about the way she views the
world, obviously, yeah, I can just relate to her actually.
But I also like that it's although she's like, older and
although she's bitter and although she's an old boot,
she's smart with what she's saying.
Like her takedowns of people are pretty nasty.
And on it, they're not just like, oh, you would say that
because you're a jealous old hag.
Yeah. It's like she's on the money
with most of the stuff. You mean like when she calls the
other teacher fat? Yep.
So then a new art teacher joins the school, and what's her name?
I'm sorry this is a camp classic just because of her name.
Yes, Sheba Heart Sheba. Heart short for Bathsheba.
I didn't get that. That's like a next level of
like, that's next level posh. If you're called Bathsheba.
Do you know anyone called Bathsheba?
I do not like my accents. Bath Sheba.
Bathsheba. This is directly from the book,
and it's we, we looked it up. It's a biblical reference.
She was the Queen of Sheba. Oh, OK.
And her whole story is about rape.
Oh, so. And but there's like this
question about whether or not she was raped or did she want
it? And so that this is like the
biblical question. I haven't looked into it too
deeply, but they've clearly gone tell.
Yeah. But you're saying you'll do,
you'll do one of those things we all do.
You're reading with like authority.
And then as you're speaking, you're like, oh, actually, I
don't know if I should talk about this because I'm kind of
making it up. But they've clearly been like,
that's her story. What if 2006, what would that
look like in 2006? I know what it would look like.
You know, women's rights, has feminism gone too far, etcetera.
So. But again, from the get go she
was getting read to filth by this narration isn't.
She Have you got anything I've got?
It's hard to read this wispy novice in her Tweedy tramp coat
again. I'm like, read her to Phil.
Is she? A Sphinx or simply stupid?
Again, I'm like, get her Jade now.
It reminds me, do you remember our friend Cat?
Like we had a fight with someone on the street once and he was
like, I don't remember what they were fighting about, but it was
like a drunken late night encounter.
And she said to him, what are you going to do?
You're going to go home and write about in your diary.
I remember that it's. Very this because that is what
Judy's going to do. Yeah, she's going to go, whoa,
heaven help you if you end up in Judy Dentures diary.
You will not enjoy it. More and then more follows in
this, in this opening scene of just the most incredible
dialogue, isn't it? It's.
Sensational, so she's. So we see Sheba with another
school teacher and then what did she call her?
Oh, I don't have fatty. Hoggers.
That's a little nickname for a fatty.
Hoggers, the blonde and the pig and knickers.
The. Blonde and the pig and knickers.
I think fuck all of this language that we all use online
now we need to go back to what Judy Dench is saying this and
start calling people pig and knickers.
Wispy novice speaks. It's also quite great because
it's like the Sphinx comment. Whoever wrote that about Cate
Blanchett is also like, writing it about Cate Blanchett's face
because she doesn't like her sphinx.
Yeah, she does look a bit wispy. Yeah.
So it's whoever's actually is actually just going in.
Yeah. Cate Blanche.
You're right. Cate Blanche does look like Cate
Blanche in this film. I.
Wonder how many Yeah of Judy's lines are directly from the
book, or if they've like, toned it up or toned it down?
Yeah, but yeah, Barbara is not immediately attracted to her,
but they, she, there's something about her, isn't there?
And so they strike up a friendship for Barbara, though
this friendship quickly turns to infatuation and obsession.
We've. All been there.
Sheba is married to the much older Richard, played by Bill
Nighy, and she's just re entering the workforce after
devoting herself to her son with Down syndrome and.
So has has have we been to their house yet?
No, No, we haven't. OK.
I just want to check that. Yeah.
So maybe we have no. Because I think, doesn't she
befriend you and go, you must come over?
Yes. And that's when we hear a go.
I adore lasagna. Yes, you're right.
So this. Is what's happening.
Like basically, Judi Dench is kind of getting the hots for
Cate Blanchett a bit and she gets invited over and that.
Turns here from thinking that Cate Blanchett is this, like,
hippie dippie Liberal Party, you know, nothing.
Yeah, to I've got a chance. Oh, I've had an invitation to
lunch. And then we get this great scene
of Judy getting a little makeover.
And we know now we know we're in a very different territory to
the films we normally cover on this because we have covered
many a makeover. And like normally, we know the
scene we're trying on a few different outfits.
Some look good, some don't. Some look a bit Katie.
Can style is playing, yeah. Like, you know, oh, I'm not
going to wear that. That's too revealing.
Or, you know, should we cut your hair up to here?
Should we? We've seen it.
It's fabulous. Talk us with the makeover in
this. Well, it's.
Just a very sad London salon and a very sad little blow out,
isn't it? But it's.
Like I wrote, what in the Judy Andrews is going on with the
hair? She gets like, she gets her
curlers put in. Yeah.
And. She's but she's got a very thin.
There's no tracks in there. There's no, there's definitely
no wig because no, because we are seeing scout putty.
There's no wig. There's no wig, and she's got
like a little smart blazer and a very little starched collar.
Yeah, the trick is to make it to make an effort but not appear
you've made an effort. And.
She loves the lasagna as well, you know, she said to her.
I adore lasagna. I adore.
Lasagna Lasagna disagrees with my bowels, but.
Yeah, I'll have a small portion, Judy trotting up the stairs in a
little court shoe. Yes.
Carrying flowers. Ready to get some fucking
Blanchett pussy? Yeah, sorry, but that's what
that is what she's after. Yeah, she doesn't.
She's not looking to hold hands. She wants to lick well.
She does want to get a stroking, no?
We're getting that. But then.
So then she meets the family for the Yeah, she.
Meets the family and she again. Hates again, I'm like love you
Judo because she hates family yeah, she hates all of them she
hates the. Slutty daughter what a.
Mortifying family tradition. It's like, speak your truth,
Judy. How old is that daughter as
well? I don't know, She's kind of
giving like 17, yeah, I guess, but.
Then also looks younger and then.
But, you know, maybe it's just this film.
This film does like to play with age, doesn't it?
Foreshadowing. Yeah.
I mean, imagine Cate Blanchett's
husband is 20 years older than her.
Imagine that. Can you imagine if that was
reversed? What would that be like?
It really makes you think, doesn't it?
So yeah, so then so she's basically having dinner with
them, doesn't she? And it's just she hates them.
She hates. Them she's but she's obsessed
with Cate Blanchett, who she thinks is like this poor woman
who's been trapped by circumstances and she's just
making up all sorts of narratives.
I, I, I love the scene where Cate Blanchett's daughter is
like, why are you all poshed up? And it's just like, it's really
Spears duty Dunch, isn't it 'cause she's just made this big
thing about like, I'm gonna make an effort, but I'm not gonna
look like I made an effort. But she really looks like she's
made an effort for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For. Her and.
And then she has to lie and say, oh, she's got an appointment in
town. Yeah, but yeah.
There is there is a weird weapons moment where she
collects some of Cate Blanchett's hair and you are
just like, oh, what in the sorcery is about to happen here?
Yeah, she's intense. She's let's just put it, she's
just intense. We've all got friends that are a
bit intense. She's.
Forceful, but yeah, so the the friendship is turning from into
infatuation and obsession. And then Barbara witnesses Sheba
in a sexual encounter with a 15 year old student Paint.
The scene. So what's happening?
So it's the school. Christmas concert and they're
doing a big show on stage and Barbara's saving a seat for for
Sheba. Yeah, but she can't find.
Sheba's not there. Where is she?
So she goes looking for her and finds her in I guess some.
Sort of tech work room, yeah, something like that, yeah.
And Sheba's blowing a 15 year old.
I mean, let's, yeah. She is blowing.
Hard. Yeah.
And this is where it should be pointed out that they really
went there with the castings. I don't know how old he was.
He looks like a young 15 year old he was. 16.
Yeah, I mean, but they, they it's not.
It's not OK they. Decided to go let's let's really
choose someone that looks like 13 years old like they went
there with that he looks. Like a 13 year old trying to
look like a 16 year old. Yeah, it's, it's hard to watch
like that. Don't worry.
He takes his shirt off and you're just like, that is a
child. But you know, I think fair play
to them if they're making this film and they're making it with
like true conviction of like what what the story is about.
It's I guess that's kind of what you need to be because they
could have just cast like someone that looked like that
was 16, that looked like 18. You're right.
It definitely makes it really
uncomfortable. Yeah, we'll get into like
whether or not I think that's effective, I guess maybe when we
get to the end of the movie. But like, yeah, they they, they
do it. They do the thing and she's.
Not having any of it, why would she?
Barbara confronts Sheba, and Sheba tells the story of how
they got involved. You know, he dedicated his goal
to me. I thought it was amusing.
That's. Actually a really good
impression of her. And she begs Barbara not to tell
the school until after Christmas.
But Barbara realizes this is the leverage.
Oh. Honey, she's like, I'm going to
utilize this now to crack. Your legs wide open.
Yeah. So she says she's got no
intention of reporting her, providing Sheba ends the
relationship immediately and she plans to use the affair as a
means of manipulating her. And she's like, which I have.
Respect for her doing that because also like I'm sorry,
Kate Blanchett is the one sucking off a 15 year old.
Yeah. You know, like that's, that's,
you know, give her a taste of her own medicine.
Let's. Use that as a way to get
something for us. Yeah, You know, yeah.
Yeah, let's not do the right thing, which is probably report
this situation. Immediately.
Yeah, No, let's. Find a weakness in someone that
we want to. Fuck.
And then use that, Yeah. And just really see what we can,
how we can turn this to our own ends.
What else was I going to say about this?
Oh, yeah. And then there's like, some
great, like, diary bits now where she's like, oh, we're
confidants. We're locked in Earth.
Our secret is drawing us ever closer together.
Like it's so great. I mean, the woman, bless her,
she's fucking deluded. But is being deluded a crime?
No, it's it's encouraged, I think.
But again, it's like it's you've got all of this like romantic,
like floppy doppy language and we're just everything about the
filmography is so like grey and great.
Oh, it's so 2006. It's like so dumb.
Yeah, London isn't it? Even though.
They're rich Londoners. It's just like everything's just
like there's no life in anything because yeah.
Like and that the score, we haven't talked about that, but
like it is nuts. It is.
Spiraling out of control by this it's.
Giving like Vertigo, like everything is so dramatic.
I was listening to this this morning while I was shaving and
I was like, I am suddenly the main character in a
psychological thriller. Like everything I do is the most
dramatic thing that has ever happened.
It's it's great. If you ever want to feel
unhinged or like maybe you're about to be murdered in a sexual
way, put the soundtrack on. That sounds great.
Sign me up. But then so then, yeah.
So we're under the impression. Sheba's going to end it.
But then he's got good game, hasn't he?
He's got lines, he's got bars. There's a bit where he says to
her like, so Sheba's no, Sheba identifies.
What is it before? Has she identified that he's a
trouble child? I think she went maybe when she
was telling Barbara the story about how they got together.
Oh, she's like. Yeah.
She's like he tells her that his dad is abusive and his mum is
dying. And he's actually got a talent
for art, and she's an art teacher.
And she thinks giving one-on-one, that's how she's
explaining it to him. And as part of that flashback,
he goes, are you a good cook, miss?
And she's like, oh, no, don't be silly.
And he goes, do you suck? And I was just, like, I put,
well played. It's a good line.
It's a great line. Very snappy.
Yeah. And she's just like falling for
it. He's got some very he's got some
very strong lines. I've been dreaming about your
hot sweet cunt all morning. Yeah, there's another one he
hasn't. Mentioned it, but he's Irish,
Yeah. Why is he Irish?
He also. Sends this text to her.
Happy Christmas Miss Let, I need to get more into that.
There you go, happy Christmas miss, Wish I was fucking your
blind right now. And it's on like a Nokia 3310
just. Like, yeah, he's very direct,
He's very to the point. But yeah, it's working, isn't
it? Yeah.
I mean, we shouldn't really be laughing about this 15 year old,
but you have to but. Also if you were in his boat and
you just wanted to fuck your teacher I think.
That's one of the big problems this movie has is that it it
makes it seem kind of understandable.
Does it a little. It's like it's this is what he
wanted. Do you know what I mean?
Oh. OK, Yeah.
Oh yeah. Oh, didn't think about that.
Because I'm kind of like, he's a horny teenager.
Yeah. I mean.
He is a horny teenager. It's very wrong though.
Oh, no, I know it's very wrong, but like I think maybe from his
perspective, because I think the thing and we're sort of jumping
all over the place here because as I said, this is new
territory. Not only are we dealing with a
film where people can act, there's a plot, we're also
dealing with an incredibly sensitive, complex subject
matter which I don't think we're capable to talk about.
No. But what I will say is they are
very good at making him very one note stupid teenager.
Like, yes, he is not emotionally mature.
No, he, the way he talks to her is very, very childlike.
There's not, there's not this sense the the maturity at all
about him. So I find it interesting, but
it's hard being a teenager. Yeah, let's.
Move on. Let's move swiftly along.
Where? Are we in this movie?
So it's, I think now it's the Christmas break and Barbara
visits her sister and. She's also been saying as well,
hasn't she? So some of this language is
building in as well. Like another thing she says is I
could gain everything now. So for Barbara, the stakes are
high. She's seen this weakness
situation. Yeah.
And she's going for it. And we're sort of led to believe
that Sheba's like she's touched the fire and she's like, I'm
never going to do that. Yes, yeah, yeah, exactly.
So Barbara visits her sister, who asks about another young
teacher that Barbara had befriended.
And we, we heard about this woman before.
At this point, maybe, But Barbara stiffly says.
Jennifer Yeah. Barbara stiffly says that the
young teacher moved away. Barbara's sister asks if she has
any other female friends, strongly implying she thinks
Barbara's a lesbian, but she. Didn't just move away, she moved
to Stoke, which I thought was quite a camp line there.
She's. Got a fiance.
Barbara insists she has no idea what her sister was talking
about, but it's it's that's kind of a very heartbreaking moment.
Her sister tries to reach out to her.
She's trying to say like, I know that you may be are gay and it
would be fine with me if that was the case.
And Barbara's like, Nope, walls are up.
Yep, Yep. Sheba has told Barbara that the
affair is over and tries to stop and tries to stop seeing
Stephen, but he's very persistent and she finds herself
unable to stop well. She's literally getting railed.
She's. Getting railed on train tracks.
Yeah, yeah, she's sneaking out over Christmas.
She also brings him into her shed in her back garden, which I
think is fucking stupid. Oh.
Yeah, that's the Fox spot. Do not.
Use property on your own estate but camp clue.
Go on they're. Like lying together post coitus
and she puts on Susie and the banshees.
Oh. OK.
Yeah, I just think. Now we've 3 movies, showgirls,
Batman Returns, notes on a scandal all.
Doing it, yeah. I mean, that scene was really
just like, it felt gross, didn't it?
So gross. It really, I, I thought it was
clever the way he puts on like a hat he finds in the in the art
shed. And she's like, take that out.
Yeah, because it's for, it's a costume she's making for her
son, who is like the same age as him.
And she's like, she sees herself there.
And I think another thing that's really smart, a smart choice, I
don't think necessarily they make the smartest choices all
the way through the film. But another smart choice I think
is you never get turned on by their interactions, which I
think I think lots of people, lots of film makers have done
this before, whether it's a guy hooking up with a younger girl,
vice versa, where there's like more of a like, although he's
like sexual and although he's seducing her and although he's
saying all of these lines, they're not strong enough to
kind of make you think, oh, that's kind of hot.
It's yeah, it's. Almost embarrassing, like you're
like, oh, I've I can imagine sending that text, but you
could. Imagine them totally doing this
where he's like whispering in her ear and stuff and it gets a
bit exciting for you. You're.
So right seen. To just not like.
I haven't seen Lolita, but I can imagine in that, which is like
the gender swap version that yeah, it's played for like
sexual titillation. I mean, there's so many movies
where an older man and like a young woman and it's like no
one's like questions whether or not that's hot.
It's awful, but it's. Just it's a clever way they've
done it because he does have a huge amount of sexual power over
her and he's still doing all of the things to seduce her, but
it's just not reading in a sexual you're so.
Right, that's a good point and. So meanwhile she's getting
fucked. Also, as I'm about to say the
fuck of her life. There's something about his
small, but it's just not lying that it is.
It's just you're just like you're gross when she's doing
it. Yeah.
There's no way that is good sex, no.
And it's like he doesn't have any wit like when they're
smoking afterwards, they've got nothing in common.
He doesn't have any funny lines. And it's like you are just like
you are a psychopath who's pretending to be a teenage girl
now. It's it's it's a weird world,
but I guess that's the world of paedophilia people.
But while this is happening, all we're getting sad because
Porpoise is dying, yeah. And like, just to really make it
clear what kind of woman Barbara is, unless, in case you weren't
clear, she's also a crazy cat lady.
She's got nothing going on. Yeah, she's very upset.
Her cat is dying, so she goes over to Sheba's house.
And like, she she like, we're getting like actual sort of a
sense of like how unhinged Barbara is because like, yeah,
she's been slagging her off. She's been bitchy.
But she's she's kind of, you know, in her own Swedish way,
thinks that she's deluded that she can hook up with her.
But we're now sort of seeing more of a desperation side to
her because she like, basically stops the car, doesn't she?
She drags her out and she's like, you need to help me.
My pussy is dying, right? This hasn't.
Even happened yet? Oh, so she's at her house and
she's upset. She turns to Sheba for comfort,
and this is where we get the stroking scene.
Oh yeah, and. We.
Used to tries to. What she says was we used to
stroke each other at school and then close your eyes.
Doesn't work if you don't close your eyes and then.
Standing there in the kitchen and it's a very sensuous
stroking. And listen, from what my friends
that are lesbians have told me, there's a lot of lot in a
stroke, and she's getting ready to show her stroking skills in
the sea. My husband loves a stroke and I
don't even mean in a sexual way if we are sat anywhere become.
Sexual then, if we are. Sat next to each other anywhere,
cinema, dinner, on the couch. I have to be stroking his.
Arm. Does he give you a duty?
Does he, Barbara? You.
Yeah. And so, yes.
And so we're watching this movie.
He's like, I don't like this scene.
Because he can see himself as Barbara.
Oh my God. But it's so funny.
Yeah. Because she's being made to,
like, close her eyes. And then Barbara utters, there's
a good girl. And then she's like, oh God, no.
And she? Kind of gets a sense that this
is turning a bit sexual and she does not like it.
So she tries to rebuff Barbara and that's when Barbara sees
Stephen going into her shed and she realizes the affair is still
on. She the phone rings, she picks
it up and she hears Stephen saying I've been dreaming about
your hot sweet cunt all morning and and she realizes what's
going on. So Barbara storms out of the
house. She's.
She's going to say you're not young.
Exactly, and then they have a big conversation on the road.
You're not young once. He's had his fill.
He'll discard you like an old rag.
You're not young. I say this to help you one.
Of the best lines in the movie. It's incredible, and I think
this is when Sheba actually decides she's going to end it.
Anyway, that's all been a bit murky.
It's been a bit murky. The.
The threat of being discovered now is real.
Real. So Sheba is in big, big trouble.
Now and then Barbara's cat dies and so she goes back to the
house to get comforted by Sheba. But Sheba is late for a school
play, she does not have time for it and her family is sick to
fucking death of her. Like, what is that old witch
doing here? And so she believes and
Barbara's like, oh, I can't count on you at all.
And that's when she snaps and decides she's going to tell.
She says to Sheba here, someone has died.
Incredible line you. Owe me this.
You owe me this. So Barbara reveals the affair in
like a kind of sly, sneaky way to another teacher at the
school. And I won't get into how that
happens, maybe, but the affair comes out, Stephen's mother
comes over to Sheba's house and slaps the fuck out of her and
what? We've also found out before this
is that he was lying about, he's not from this like hard to do
background, his parents are there, blah blah blah.
But again, slightly problematic that he's maybe manipulated her.
And yeah. Yeah, but yeah, back to the good
stuff. Yeah, she gets a fucking hard
slap. Yeah, she.
Sure does. And it all comes out the presser
like having a field day. She gets arrested, she loses her
job. It's like front page news.
So what's? Barbara going to do well.
Barbara, the headmaster, accuses Barbara of not of knowing about
the affair and not notifying the authorities.
He and he also relearns and tells the audience that this
Jennifer we've heard about has a restraining order against
Barbara. So this is not the first teacher
that Barbara's had a thing for. He makes Barbara go into early
retirement and forces her out of the school, but at this point,
Sheba doesn't know that Barbara's the reason everyone
has found out. I don't know how she doesn't
know that, but she doesn't. So she gets kicked out of her
house and moves into Barbara's place because she but.
Also, she has an argument with her husband.
I don't know, because he's shamed as well.
And then he goes, he says it like it's a universal thing.
Everybody wants someone young. I get it.
It's like, OK, do we all? Yeah, again, it's.
Like another line of like, yeah. What is that?
Yeah. What does this movie think about
all of Yeah? Because everybody here seems to
be like wanting to go out with people a lot younger and.
Maybe, maybe the movie thinks everyone's bad for that, but I'm
not totally convinced it does. But the movie does definitely
seem to be saying there's parallel between Bill Nye and
Cate Blanchett with their twenty year age difference and Cate
Blanchett and a 15 year old with their twenty year difference and
and. Also the grossness, the apparent
grossness of Judy with Kate being in the older women as
well. Yeah, it's complicated, but a
tangled. Web but.
You know, Sheba's got nowhere to live now.
Yeah, so. She moves into Barbara's flat
and they fall. In love.
The end well through. Barbaras eyes they like having
these beautiful moments and suddenly Diaries getting very
like love lawn and like these precious moments together and
Gold Star. Days all over the place yeah,
she's there's a scene of her watching Sheba sleep and she's
like considering touching her leg and then she just like moves
the blanket over her sees. A peek of ankle?
Yeah. The press are hounding Sheba,
and she's kind of getting to a breaking point, isn't she?
And then she does like, a really fab makeover moment because she
used to be like a punk goth girl in her youth.
And she's like, fuck it, if I'm going to be the slut Herod and
whore, I'm going to be it. And so she, like, draws on heavy
black eyeliner. She puts on her fishnets and she
teases her hair and she's like, yeah, now I'll be your slut.
But that's when she discovers the diary.
She finds the diary and learns what Barbara has done and how
she's been writing about her and what she thinks is going on.
And Barbara comes home and they have their big blowout.
And this is like the scene and I.
Love just before we get into the scenes.
I love during the scene Kate Blanchett drops an accent.
She goes a bit Aussie, quite funny.
Another little camp thing I find.
It was at this point I realized that Judi Dench looks a bit like
Pamela Anderson without makeup on.
Like reel back the footage just before we get into the meat of
it. OK.
Pammy, I'll take a look. Yeah, I'll take a look.
Just Chuck. A bigger wig on right?
And it's Pamela Anderson. Just saying I.
Wonder how old Judi Dench was here?
Probably our age. But yeah, so now it's time for
like fucking Titans of the acting world to really fucking
ham it up and show us how a distinguished catfight goes
down. Yes, it's very hair pulling.
Oh no. It does get physical, but yeah,
it's Shakespeare. Yeah.
It's so good. It's the big confrontation.
Sheba pushes Barbara into a mirror.
This is where we get You want to roll around on the floor like
lovers. You want to fuck me, Barbara?
I only have tender feelings for you.
And then runs outside into the crowd of reporters and she's
like hemmed in by them and it's all getting a bit too much.
And then she's. Like here I am melodrama queen
claiming like what you're a pedo like.
Barbara comes out and rescues her, and then she comes back
inside and they kind of actually have the real talk about what's
been going on. She tells Barbara that she had
initiated their friendship because she liked her and they
could have been friends. And Barbara says, I need more
than a friend. This is a great line.
People like her have no idea what it's like to be so
chronically untouched that the accidental touch of a bus
conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin.
Imagine writing that you'd be so pleased with being a.
Lesbian. Are we just getting an authentic
deep dive into lesbian life? Maybe.
I don't know, is this, is this why there were so many cliches
about like intense lesbian relationships?
Because actually, when you scratch beneath the surface,
this is the kind minus paedophilia, might I add, This
is what's going on. Well, the.
The lesbian in this movie isn't a paedophile.
No, I mean she is into a younger woman.
She. Could have been when she was
like 18, yeah. I mean.
We don't know what happened when she was she was age with the
students, but Jesus. So she believes Barbara and
returns to her husband and is subsequently sentenced to 10
months in prison. But it's strongly implied that
she reconciles with her family after that.
Yeah. And then the final scene is
Barbara back on the hill where she used to go with Sheba.
And she meets another younger woman who is reading a newspaper
article about the whole affair. And she sits herself down,
introduces herself, and the camera pans out.
And we're like, oh, she's at it again.
I know. And.
Like, I'm so sorry, I am so angry with the, the, the
pitching of that last scene because it's it's a bit, it's
always a bit like talented Mr. Ripley.
Yes, it's very like, oh, we're in trouble.
It's going to continue. She's.
Struck before and she will strike again, whereas.
I'm just like, So what? The paedophile gets away with
it. Ten months in prison.
She probably will go back to him when he's like 16 and legal and
have another affair with him. And then I meant to hate on
Barbara who's literally just trying a bit of cruising and is
finding like someone less on. Hamster as well, right?
Yeah, and I'm presuming the women reading the newspaper is a
little bit less problematic than Sheba is, and I meant to vilify
her. Yeah.
Like. Also, do we know anything else
about Jennifer's back story? No.
No, Jennifer could also be problematic, Yeah.
Like, what has Barbara really done wrong?
It's not a crime to be intense. It's not a crime to, you know,
write, write creepy things in your journal.
It's a bit weird, but it's not a.
Journaling. It's a dying art of journaling.
Her big. Her big.
The problem was that she didn't report the paedophilia when it
happened. Yeah, if she'd done that, you
know what? Barbara gets a pass and.
Also, like, I'm sorry, but if I really was in, if I was in
Barbara's situation and if I was a psychopath that really wanted
to fuck Cate Blanchett, I would put my cards on the table and be
more honest. I'd be like, I know what you've
done. You're going to prison.
Lick me out. You know, actually Judy Dench
character Barbara is, she's more trying to romanticize it.
She wants to kind of fall in love and build this
relationship. She's just misunderstood.
But yeah, I do not have any problem with Barbara in this
film. I have zero problem with her.
She is the hero with the piece and that is my ending.
So to make her into a creepy old woman, No, not having it.
No, sorry. It's.
Homophobic. Yeah.
I mean, this is my big question about this movie.
Is this movie homophobic? Oh, because it is.
Really leaning on the like, dangerous.
Lesbian yeah. Cliche tropes.
Yeah, I. Mean it's not done as often as
the dangerous gay man trope, but like there is a history of this
kind of representation and it's you definitely can't call this
good representation. Oh, A. 100% no, no, no.
The only like I'd say the mitigating factors for this is
that the movie does show Barbara.
Legal language. We are really on a very
different podcast right now. What in the fuck is going on?
It's it's that Barbara's sister is like tries to be accepting.
And so you get the sense that like, this is Barbara's problem.
Not necessarily. It's not the movie's opinion
that all lesbians are like this. It's like this is a Barbara
thing rather than like. But it's still I'd say it's it's
not great representation. And I think the other, if you're
going to be generous, the generous reading is that
Barbara's from a generation where society didn't accept
this. And this is kind of what what
can be a product of that kind of society?
Yeah, but you're so. Right.
Because it's like they could have, I mean, I know this isn't
what they were trying to do, but they could have made Sheba more
manipulative to Barbara, so more aware that Barbara was into her
and her playing into that, yes. There's that like sprinkle of
that isn't there? But but just they.
Could and then therefore then that like kind of negative
lesbian trope wouldn't have been as as sort of evil yeah because
it would have been like, oh she was in love with her and she's
been manipulated and that would have been just as interesting
because the. Sense you get from this movie is
that Sheba's kind of the hero of the story, and it's like I, I
wrote the sound. I think you're meant to find
Barbara's infatuation with Sheba more horrifying than you are
Sheba's relationship with a boy I.
Agree. I agree that's.
Like the horror of this movie is not the paedophilia, it's the
lesbian attraction you're. So right, because it, they allow
Sheba to humanize her story. Yes, so much more.
So we find out that that the boy has been lying about his his
family setup and actually he comes from a really happy home.
So he's lied to her, he's manipulated her.
We've she's got trust issues with her husband.
Yeah, because he also had an affair and.
She's had a hard time, her kids, you know, hasn't been easy with
her kids. Yeah.
And. It's and also just and also just
and then being like sort of stalked by Barbara and also just
sort of seeing how she's seduced by him and how that's hard to
resist in the setups. But you're right, all of these
things are like allowing us to kind of understand her reasons a
bit more. Whereas with Barbara, we don't,
we never, as I said, we never, as much as I joke about it, we
never get to meet Jennifer. We don't actually know what
happened there. And likewise, we don't really
get a sense of her outside of this one point, which is that
she's in love with. She's an and she's.
In love with her. Yeah, it's fucked up, actually.
Quite camp. Though.
Oh yeah. But actually, all of that is
really, really camp. Yeah.
But yeah, it's it's fucked up. I mean, I, I saw this review
from the time in the Washington Post, they called this movie
sexy, aspirational and post politically correct notes on a
scandal could turn out to be the fatal attraction of the
naughties. And I think that really sums it
up, doesn't it? Because what about this is
aspirational? What is it's not sexy.
The only that means that the sexy thing is pedophilic
relationship post politically correct.
Yeah. Yeah.
What if women could also be sexual predators?
It's like it's like missing it so much.
And I was looking into the author.
I think she's straight, so again, it's like another kind of
mark against old. Tag lesbian Yeah, and.
Also, it's like invented because this story, yes, there is a
basis of this story in fact, which is about a school teacher
who has a an affair with a younger student and he's like
12. She has his baby, she goes to
prison, she has his baby in prison.
They end up together. There's no creepy lesbian in the
story. This is the part that's all been
invented for this book, for this movie, and it kind of just shows
like the I'm like, your bias is showing.
Because it's like, I mean, I don't really know why you would
want to tell that story in the 1st place without the creepy
lesbian. I don't really know what, Yeah.
Is that useful or insightful about exploring that as a story.
But you're right. Like, why add on that element?
Like why? Because old lesbians are scary.
And like, that's basically what this movie The kind of the point
of this movie. So and so then I was thinking
about it and I think another thing that is quite calm about
this movie is that it's it's portraying itself as so
highbrow. You've got these two powerhouse
actors who are nominated for Oscars in this movie.
They're acting their fucking tits off.
It is a dramatic score. Everything is really high drama,
Yeah, And it's just a fucking lurid, like, sexploitation
thriller. It's like, it's no better than
Basic Instinct. It's no better than like your
sexual thrillers of the naughties, but it's like dressed
up in high art theatre drag it is.
Drag. It's 100% drag.
You're so right. Because it's like, yeah, two
people at the top of their acting game, but yeah, it's
trash. It's.
Trash. Really, you're right.
It's just lurid. And the fact is like, yeah,
they've added like a really like high end soundtrack to her and
they've graded it to make it look grittier and they've got
two really strong actors in it. But it's fucking this could have
easily been Sharon Stone with her purse out like 50.
Shades of It's Like It thinks it's so much better, like Rita.
Ora could be yes with who would play.
Yeah, she's like with. Sharon Stone being Judi Dench.
Oh, like so Rita Ora is like the sexy young teacher and then
Sharon Stone's like, oh Gina. Gershon.
Hey, Shiva. Yeah, it's some girl.
It's so. Girl, but yeah.
Which makes it so camp because it is a fucking.
You can say what you want about this.
It is a trashy film. It's not.
It's not a good film. No, but it's.
But it's good. Yeah.
It's like a beautifully made piece of shit, Yeah.
And it's just nice to see that posh, educated people can also
make bombs of crap. Yeah, yeah.
And it's it's almost more affronting because they're like,
we're so much better than all of that shit.
Yeah, but. You're just like, you're just
down here in the muck with all of us.
Yeah, but. You I mean oh God, but like why
do you think Kate Brown shit took on the role?
Because I think in 2000. 6 Did you just think as an actor, it's
like, I'm really doing something challenging here?
Yeah. And it's like. 2006 as as this
reviewer said, they're like, this is oh, we're doing
something edgy and most politically correct.
What if a woman was in that situation?
We haven't explored that story before.
Oh, we've seen it so many other times.
What would it be like? Is it OK now?
And it's like, obviously the answer is fucking no.
But this movie is like but but what if it was?
Could it be? Yeah.
And like, maybe, maybe we've all got that inside of us to be
seduced by a 15 year old, 10 year old looking Irish.
Yeah, they failed themselves in terms of making like a proper
drama. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Like there is a proper drama to
be made about like any one of these subjects, but because
they're like mashing together like these two trashy tropes and
then trying to make one movie out of the two of two things,
you're like, what are you doing here?
Because. Are we meant to, like, not want
her to get found out? Because that's kind of the vibe.
Yeah. It's kind of like, oh, and Evil
Barbs is on the prowl again with more blackmailing.
And it's like, so are we. Are we hoping that she gets away
with it and she can fuck him in the shed?
Because it is a bit like that. When the phone goes, you sort of
look at her and it's your. The way the film is set up is
like, oh God, don't read the phone.
And it's like, no, read the phone.
She's a paedophile. Get her Bob, get her it.
Does do a good job of capturing that feeling of anxiety of like
being about to get caught out, like you've ever had one of
those dreams where like, I don't know, you've got to get rid of a
body. No, you know what I mean?
Like that? Anxiety feeling of like I am
found out and what am I going to do?
And like, I think it is effective at communicating that
feeling of of anxiety and stress.
It's just weird that you're put in.
It's trying to put you in the place of Sheba of Kate
Blanchett. It's like I don't want to be
connecting with this character, no.
You're. Not young, Yeah.
And it's also, it's kind of exploitation, isn't it?
It's just like, it's another example of it, but it's just
done in this like high art kind of way and it's.
A shame because it's like Judi Dench does bring so much weight
to the role. And like, as I said, she is like
super smart and super like witty and just, yeah, it's just a
shame that she's just deemed, you know, just this grotesque
being, you know, like it would have been so much more
interesting if she did stroke Kate and made her come.
And then Kate didn't like that afterwards.
She'd like, she literally. And that was just, it just
showed that actually Barbs as a human being actually does have
these powers of, like, seduction and so and like, that would have
made, again, more interesting dynamic.
But no, she's just repulsive. Yeah.
Creepy, repulsive, posh birds. Yeah.
Or they'd had like some kind of something had happened when they
moved in together. Or like, you know what, just
lean into the trash and like, somebody should be murdered.
Someone should end up dead and then then we're in like full 90s
stupid thriller movie and like, let me just see a murder, you
know? Yeah, or if we, as I said, if we
were recasting this with Gina Cushion and Naomi, it would be
like, as I said earlier, it would be like, right, fuck me
now. Yeah, that's why I'm going to
tell everyone. That's the kind of blackmail I
live for. Why do you think I'm on this
podcast? Yeah.
And then I was thinking about the contrast with this movie and
May December, which is like another movie talking about the
exact same inspirational story inspiration that has with the
story with is inspired by the same story.
Thank. You just needed to clarify that
although the makers of notes for the scandal are basically saying
hey, sick of your family life, sick of being with an older man,
just go to school and find a 15 year old.
Yeah, that movie is definitely the point of that movie, and I
don't think it is effective. But the point of that movie is
to make you, the viewer, be like, you just watched a movie
about paedophilia, You are trash, right?
That's what the movie is saying. And it's like the media is trash
for making movies about this. You are trash for wanting to
watch a movie about this topic. We're all trash, right?
Yeah, and. I don't think it's actually that
effective at doing it. I wish it'd kind of leaned into
it more. It's Todd Haynes who did.
Velvet Goldmine and a bunch of other movies.
But it at least it is like, smart enough to know what it's
doing. And like, Natalie Portman's
playing an actress studying to play Camp Blanchett in a new
movie. And so she's like, living with
her. And they're having this kind of
psychosexual thing. And.
But yeah, it's got, it's kind of got the right point of view.
Where is that? This movie does not.
It does not have the right point of view.
Yeah. But God, it's fun to watch.
It's got some fucking zingers. It's a nice curveball away from
your standard, you know? Popcorn movies, Yeah.
That we love being camp. It's like, this is like this is
like someone giving you a nice bottle of wine and you don't
know anything about wine And it's like you like it, but
you're not like they're fucking going off being like this is
next grade thing. And you're like, oh, it's tasty.
I could drink it, but you're not you're not rolling around going
I'm only going to drink this there.
But it's you know, it's something different, isn't it?
Or like. It's yeah, you take it, you're
like, I think this will be better as a sangria and you just
mix in and some 7UP. Yeah, you're like, yeah, OK Hun,
I'm not going to drink it through an air pouring thing,
but yeah, I mean, do you know what?
Fair play to them for throwing themselves into these roles,
because they do There's. Nothing I love more than
watching two women over act really well about something
batshit bananas. Like what more could you want?
And also as I don't feel like even them step their toes into
camp that often today, maybe more Cate Blanchett does, but
Judy's. Yeah, yeah.
Because we're fully in like, whatever happened to Baby Jane
territory with this movie, aren't we?
We're in like, all about Eve. It's like a legacy of movies
about like 2 women going head to head in this really camp
fashion. And it's like, it's never not
going to be delightful, but. Also, the only thing I will give
them respect for, they are so good at acting, they have
tricked most of the people into thinking this is a really good
film. Yeah.
They. Are that believable in whatever
they're doing? That is like people are like,
oh, this is a great movie. Yeah.
The gay men know, though, yes. It's just like, as we said, all
of the great critical acclaim and rotten tomato schools.
This is honey Honey. You're not young.
OK, Yeah, it's time. It's.
Time cute. Dramatic music, Did we?
Did we survive talking about? Did we manage to get through
this paedophilia chat with unscathed?
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what it's going to be like to listen to it.
Let's just once more for the record, say there's nothing camp
about paedophilia and it's wrong.
It feels reductive. OK, let's rate this movie.
We need to give it a score on our campo meter. 10 up to 10
Merrells for the quality of the movie and up to 10 Elizas for
the camp factor. This is a tough one.
Yeah, I can't. Because it is a well made, well
acted, incredibly well written movie that has a huge blind spot
and is like kind of problematic as fuck.
But like, I think as a melodrama or drama, it's like actually
just really solid. The acting is incredible.
It's like such, it's such a tight movie too.
Like it's, it doesn't feel like it's got anything wasted in it.
It's it's punchy. It gets its point in really fast
effectively. I think the fact that I don't
feel passionately that it's one or the other means that I'm
giving it a 5, OK? I'm going to give it, I'm 10.
I'm going to score it higher. I'm going to give it like a 7
1/2 year olds, I think because I think it's the kind of movie I
really want to watch. And I thought it was like a
beautiful example of the kind of movie I want to watch.
It just happens to like, think it's something other than what
it is, is that. Not your camp rating, yeah.
Maybe. I don't know.
It's tricky. Yeah, it's tricky.
OK, Eliza's. Yeah, it's really camp.
It's really camp. I mean, it could have been
Camper, Yeah. But it is there could have been
a sex scene, there could have been a murder.
I think the problem. Is what we've got is like we
normally is such a clear Merrills and clear lies, but
it's such a merge because it's such like such confusing film,
whether it's good or not. And something about the the good
performances in the schlocky movie is camp.
So you're like, oh, part of what makes this camp is that it's
good. Yeah.
Yeah, it's it's really it's a real fuck with your head
situation. Yeah, but it is camp.
It is definitely camp. Yeah, I'll.
Give it 82 and I'd love a sequel.
Where's Barbara now? Oh my.
God, yeah. Well, you know she will,
Barbara. Please.
Terrorizing poor, poor things. Yeah.
I really enjoyed that episode. Oh, we thought we could stroke
it out. Like close your eyes.
Just give me your. Give me your hand.
There you go. That's nice, isn't it?
That's nice. Good girl.
Get.
Away from her, you bitch. Classic he.
Was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders
right before she died. No, Hannah, you thought you
become a prostitute. You're a dog at it.
I used to love doggy chow. I used.
To love doggy chow too Well. Back to some more trash in the
next episode I guess. Is it?