Oh, hi, it's Crystal here. I hope you're enjoying the
festive Gooch. Baby and I took a couple of
weeks off over Christmas, but to tide you over until the new
year, we've decided to bring you the episode on one of our
favorite movies we covered this year, Barb Wire.
This movie was originally released as a Gatreon exclusive,
but we're unlocking it now for your Ear holes delight.
Our Gatriel members get a bonus episode every month, and they
also support us to occasionally take a little well deserved
break. Unfortunately, I didn't use my
break wisely. I just got drunk.
I don't know, maybe that is wise.
We'll be back soon with a new episode, but in the meantime,
please enjoy some quality time with Canada's second finest
export, Pamela Anderson. Get away from her, you bitch.
He was in the Amazon. When she was researching spiders
right before she died, No, I thought you become a prostitute
or a dog at it. I used to love doggy chow.
I used to love doggy chow too. I'm sorry, I'm going to say it.
You know what I'm going to say? Why are you saying it though?
Why do you get to say it? Fine, should we say it together?
Well, yeah, but it's like, oh God, OK, this this is the way
the podcast is going. Like my drag name is literally
baby, so it makes far more sense for me to say, but literally for
me to say don't call me babe, call me baby.
Yes, I'm baby lame. I mean literally, why can't you
just give me that? What were you going to say then?
How does it work for you? No, it doesn't work for me so.
You just you literally. Have it this.
Is the low of the podcast. You've literally gone to the
most basic line. Normally you're quite good with
this. I feel like I had something else
but. No, say it.
I mean, go on, say it. No, you're the bigger, you're
the biggest star here. You're the top Billings.
So you say it. I'll say something else.
How about? How about say it say?
It No, no, no. I've got something.
No, I want you to say it now.
No, no, you already did it. I will rip your heart out of
your ass and stuff it down your throat.
Thank you, Crystal. That is way more in line with
you as a human being as well. I feel so.
And welcome to Camp Classics, a thoughtful podcast about stupid
movies. Or where two people have slowly
have a mental breakdown while tearing each other down in the
process. Just don't call us, babe.
No, I wish someone would call me babe.
If if a drag queen calls you babe, it's because she doesn't
know your name. Oh yeah, totally.
Honestly, the number of people that I only know is babe.
Hundreds, hundreds always as well.
Like when you're like, yeah, like I get this with everyone.
Like any bar, I go to anything if there's someone that knows me
and I just don't know anyone. No, I.
Don't know anyone's name at all. And then I always, and then I
think I know someone and then clearly I embarrass myself
because they're like, I don't know you.
So there's, there's like, I'm like, I just, I never know how
to play it with people. That's what Tammy was really
talking about in this movie, wasn't she?
Just like she's like, I'd like people to learn names again.
We've lost a sense of common decency, politeness and respect
in this world. And just going by these faceless
names that you can call anyone, it's just not serving us as a
community, so. Yeah.
And I mean, it's got to such a bad point if if that does
continue to happen, I will find an inventive way to kill you.
That's actually what caused the Civil War in this movie.
Oh, is that the oh, that's the prequel that was never made?
Oh. It's called Babe.
The only other babe that came into my head then, which sounds
like you at the moment, babe. A pig in the city control.
Yourself. Yes.
I'm coming to you direct from the City of Angels.
LALA, the city, Oh no, it's not the city of sin, it's the city
of angels, isn't. It City of Angels, Yeah.
And do you not while I'm here? Do you feel like you're in LA?
Do you kind of like cosplay as an LA person while you're there?
Well, I did go to a party on Sunday and someone offered to
send me a script. No, I was like, I'm having the
most LA experience of my own life.
Fuck off. Yeah, it's so fun.
Oh. My God, do you know anything or
more about the? Script.
Sure, sure. So it's my friend Mono, who's a
comedian, and he's written a drag murder mystery.
And he actually wrote it a few years ago.
And he wrote a character with me in mind and he told me about it
years ago. But on Sunday he saw me.
He's like, I really should send you that script.
I was like, Oh my God, I'm in it.
I'm. I'm in LA.
I'm in LA, I'm like, you can send it to me.
I don't know what I'll do with it.
I don't know what you're supposed to do with you.
Receive a script and and the idea that there's a script that
I would turn down. Yeah, exactly.
Oh, no, that's fabulous. No, you should.
You should work that angle while you're out there.
You've got a couple more days, you know, get some meetings.
In a lunch. Yeah, get a lunch in, maybe
pitch some ideas to some. You're living in ATV producers
house at the moment aren't you? I am.
Pitch some formats. Come on.
Surrounded by post, it notes that say things like Jamie Foxx,
BBC Studios, classic games, Oh. My God, you're in the hub.
You're in the hub of entertainment.
Yeah. Maybe a movie made of this
podcast. Oh, yeah.
Who would play us? Oh.
We could play each other. We could play each other.
You're, you're the actor now, aren't you?
So I'll. Be starring as Baby Lame.
Well, I don't believe it should be, like, genders or anything.
So I would like Aubrey Plaza to play me.
I just think that's kind of the angle I'd like.
Yeah. I mean, I don't think I'm
anything like Colby Plaza, but in my head I am.
She's talking about, like, a potential camp classic.
She's in the, like a lesbian cop film coming out soon.
Oh, OK With what's her name from the substance?
Really. Yeah.
What's her name? Sorry listeners, you're
listening to a film podcast and we can't name one of the biggest
films. What is her name The.
Daughter of What's a Chop? Yeah, yeah, Andy Mcdowell's
daughter. Margaret Quali, control
yourself. She's in the movie with Margaret
Quali and lesbian love interest, so it could be like the
Newbound, so I think we should. See.
Wait, so we have a cop? A female cop movie already
called Hot Fuzz, but that one wasn't lesbian.
No, there was also the other one.
There was but. It was called Hot Fuzz.
Yeah, I didn't even think about the fuzz of it.
Lesbian. That's a great name for a film,
isn't it? Yeah, maybe it's a remake.
Shame they already. Yeah.
Shame. It was shame that name was
already taken. What was I going to say?
Are we on the Gatrian? We're on the Gatrian.
That's what I was going to say. Yeah.
Welcome to the Gatrian. You're a Gatrian member, so you
know the score. You know how this podcast works.
But we are so thankful for your support and for you helping make
this podcast happen. Thank you for being here.
You're not just a Gatrian member, you're a fucking
incredible human being and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
You. Your family.
You, what you bring into our world is like something that
can't be bought, something that can't be exchanged physically.
It's a spiritual, spiritual connection.
It's really community we're building here, isn't it?
We're building. That's good.
I like that camp. Classic cult.
Yeah, we love, well, we love you for subscribing.
So thank you. We do for that.
But. Baby, before we go any further,
what makes a camp classic? Well I was wondering, should I
try and do this Alibaba wire today?
Oh yeah, please. OK.
What makes a camp classic? It needs to unlock with joy.
I want to get a tingle. It needs to have an ongoing
legacy. It's stupid.
It informs queer pop culture. It should be anti mainstream
underdog pop buzz. It's very hard.
It's actually very hard to be a Pamela Anderson and speak like.
That hard to be as disaffected as as her.
Yeah, wow, that was a real. I mean, I'm not the actor of the
duo, so I can only apologize for that Crystal.
But yeah, basically we want something that is just anti all
the shit that we see in mainstream cinema and we want
something that's just going to make us laugh and make us feel
queer and excited about that. Yeah, and we are, of course,
covering 96's Barbed Wire starring Pamela Anderson Lee.
Pamela Anderson Lee, of course. Well, should we get into this
movie? Yeah.
Let's do it. So box office reviews, etcetera.
This movie was a flop. It it flopped about as hard as a
movie can. Flop budget of $9 million.
It made just under 4 million and it wasn't even released
internationally. So that was it.
It wasn't. It wasn't.
Released internationally. Apparently not.
No. No box office for Europe.
Oh my God, yeah. Also, $9 million is not a lot
for a film. No, it's not.
It's a really small budget. I mean you, you can absolutely
see that how the money has been spent, but fuck me that's, I
mean poor Pammy. This was meant to be her
breakthrough moment. Wasn't it?
Yeah, it was. It was critically a disaster as
well. It's got 28% on Rotten Tomatoes.
It was nominated for six Razzies.
How did it do? It only one worst new star for
Pamela Anderson Lee. Yeah, and that even sounds like
a made-up category because they do like to make up a category at
the Razzies because she was also nominated for Worst actress.
Yeah, that that. Yeah, they've just literally
gone. How can we bring her down?
Yeah, not a not a hit, let's say, but this is the quote I
found from Roger Ebert which I think sums up my opinion about
this movie as well. Roger Ebert said the film makers
must have known they were not making a good movie, but they
didn't use that as an excuse to be boring and lazy.
Barbed wire has a high energy level and a sense of deranged
fun. I mean, that sounds quite
beautifully aspirational to me. I know I don't have a good life,
but I'm just going to be as deranged and put as much energy
as possible into it. Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely. But yeah, I What's your history
with this movie? Because I had never seen it.
I don't think I'd ever seen it all the way through.
I obviously was just aware with like the imagery of it all and
maybe I'd seen some adverts with like, Don't Call Me Babe, but it
wasn't something that I was like, Oh yeah, that's a camp
cult film. I just knew it was out there and
my previous memory of it was there.
It wasn't that interesting. So right, it's not something
I've revisited until for this podcast, personally.
Yeah, I've never seen it either, but I started watching it on
Sunday night around midnight in a taxi going the whole way
across LA Yeah, I was on the freeway for 30 minutes watching
barbed Wire, really, really drunk.
And honestly, I think that is the best way to watch this
movie. I mean, especially the opening
scene, yeah. Cruising down like the motorway
and like. I got all the way until she
knocks out that GIMP and I was like, I'm having the time of my
life, yeah. I mean, where do you sit with
old Pammy, You know, because she is, she is one of your people.
Isn't she a Canadian goddess? Like, is she, is she like one of
your big, you know, home country people that you, you worship?
Where does she rate? I think I kind of missed her in
the 90s a bit because I was never a Baywatch person, but
like, she was everywhere, wasn't she?
Like you couldn't, you couldn't escape her.
She was in the culture. But I guess I never like really
fell in love with any of the media that she produced.
I love her look, though. I mean, she is like the
blueprint for a certain kind of drag.
And it's it's the kind I absolutely love.
She's just so hot. She's so stylized.
Those thin brows, that smoky eye, that wispy fringe.
It's just like, it's sensational.
It's sensational. Watching it again and looking at
the way she looks on camera and her face, I was just like, it's
beyond God levels. Like there's something like
really special. It's kind of like, I guess how
some people may feel about like Marilyn Monroe or something.
Do you know what I mean? Because I feel like Marilyn
Monroe is like such a you sort of associate it with such like a
cheesy image now, don't you? But like, maybe for our
generation, she is that Marilyn Monroe.
But there's there's something like so you can't keep your eyes
off of her. And it's not just because her
tits are out constantly. Yeah, totally.
She's had such an interesting run, hasn't she?
Like I loved that documentary last year.
It was so fabulous. I didn't watch the Pam and Tommy
series because did you watch it? No, because I don't.
I didn't think she was supporting.
Yeah, exactly. And I just kind of hate that.
I think that's just a bit of shit, isn't it?
Yeah, so it's just like another chance to profit off of her sex
tape basically without her consent, which.
Yeah, which is, which was the whole problem with the sex tape
in the 1st place. I mean, I think they got around
to like monetizing it in the end, didn't they?
But it was just like so much money was made off the back of
their personal tape. It's.
And it was stolen and yeah, awful.
But yeah, it's like she, because it was really interesting, like
what I was reading about her reasoning for choosing this
role. And a lot of it was just looking
at Jane Fonda and like the kind of career trajectory that Jane
Fonda had. Because obviously Jane Fonda was
this like sex part in Barbarella, but then also like
hugely politicized, had lots of like other campaigns that she
wanted to do and like kind of used her beauty and her sexiness
to kind of open up doors for herself and also challenge that.
I don't think, I don't think Jane Fonda's ever gone.
Oh, I regret those times where I was a hottie.
I hope they use me. What am I here for if not to be
used by good people for good things?
Just also sort of showing that you can be both and I think
that's something that I felt watching this movie back was
obviously we've had so much like on Pamela Anderson over the
years, especially like the reviews about this film was, you
know, what an airhead, you know, too much makeup tart, blah,
blah, blah. Whereas I just, all I see is to
someone who just is incredibly sexy, incredibly sexy and like
confident in herself. Yeah, I felt so empowered by
her. Yeah, yeah, I totally agree.
I totally agree. Yeah, the Jane Fonda thing is so
interesting. And especially because like
Barbarella for some reason is like Barbarella is also a really
bad movie. And I guess maybe the difference
is that Jane Fonda is a good actress and unfortunately Pamela
Anderson probably isn't, which is something we can discuss
more. But like, it's interesting that
Barbarella's kind of endured as this like, cult film, even
though it's a bad movie, it's definitely AB movie kind of
thing. And Barbarella's getting remade
with, yeah, with Sydney Sweeney. Oh.
So I mean, that's interesting. I wonder if barbed wire will
ever get that, but it feels like it's kind of escaped sort of the
cult audience in a weird way. You kind of you when you Google
like, barbed wire remakes, like normally when you just Google
films it, you know, because it's so easy to just put a like a
rumour out there. Yeah, no rumours come up.
There's no one attached to the project.
There's no like, oh, it was nearly remade 10 years ago with
so and so. Yeah.
It just feels like it slipped under the radar.
Yeah, it's too bad. Did.
What about the last show, Girl? You've seen it, haven't you?
Yeah, I actually quite liked it. You weren't a fan, were you?
No, it didn't do it for me, but I'm, I mean, I am just such a
fan of her and I would like want her success so bad.
Yeah, I. Thought I thought, yeah, I
didn't quite didn't quite buy into all of the kind of like
Oscar buzz that they were pushing out around it, but I
thought I thought it was kind of a cute small little film.
I don't, you know, I don't think she was incredible in it, but I
kind of bought this idea that she was like, I want to be sort
of like showgirl, like the way she spoke about the like
conductor and stuff. I kind of kind of bought it a
bit. I thought Jamie Lee Curtis was
amazing in it though, and that and like kind of just chewed off
all of the scenery in the film. Didn't.
She was so good. She was so good.
Coldplay do a matinee? What about a 12 noon concert?
Coldplay. What about?
It but again, it's really hard because that that again had
clearly no budget. And so it's like you've got
you've got this person, this star, he's got a big spotlight
and a focus on her. And actually if there was more
money, maybe a better film could have come out of it.
But it's just it's it's kind of this weird and again, it's this
weird thing with barbed wire. It's like this huge mega star
known around the world, but kind of no one's really putting that
much money behind it to make it a success, so.
Yeah, yeah, maybe it didn't really have a chance.
On the other hand, she is also really quite bad in this movie.
Like in in in in certain objective ways.
I like to think that she was committed to the character.
So. And I think I think clearly what
happened to her, as we saw in the flashback to when she wasn't
wearing makeup and she clearly was a much more innocent young
kind of gal, times have been tough.
She's had to put on a barrier. She's had to toughen up.
And that, you know, that's the only way to survive in 2017 is
to really build that barrier. So.
Well, should we get into the part of this?
Movie can I just say when they when the year came up in the
film and it is 2017, I was like oh lol that's in two years time.
And then I was like, no shit, it's 2000.
And 25. I'm like, wow, really, really.
Time is slipping away. But I was literally like 2017.
That hasn't happened yet. Oh, maybe it will be happening.
Hey, no. I mean, maybe it will though the
this movie takes place during the Second American Civil War.
I feel like they probably were out by about 10 years.
But yeah, give it 2027. It's happening.
I can see it. Fucking hell.
So yeah, we are. Let's get into the spot.
We are in the year 2017. It's the future and it's during
the second American Civil War. Steel Harbour is the last free
city in the United States. The Congressional Directorate
are the Nazis running most of the US.
We've got an opening scene and it is our girl Barb doing.
I mean, I love how often she's called Barb.
The name doesn't work unless you say barbed wire.
No, totally. Because I think of Barb and
Star, Yeah. Or I think of the drag performer
Barbs. Yeah.
And also they they love to call her Miss Wire which also doesn't
work for me. But listen, that is an opening
show. I want tickets to that show.
Yeah, so she's doing a very, very wet strip, not a
striptease. She's just sat on a trapeze
getting hosed basically. And just like tits are fully
out, aren't they? I wonder which version you
watched because did you watch it on dailymotion?
No, I watched it on Amazon Prime I.
Think right, so that's the unrated 1, so you get a lot of
nipple. Oh yeah, Because I was about to
say like, they are not because wasn't there something that the
director was like, pressurized to include more nudity in this
movie? Yeah, I think so.
I think they wanted it sexier. And then Pamela had the idea for
this, see, because she'd she'd had a nightmare about being
hosed with champagne during a striptease or something.
She said it was a nightmare. I don't know, she's like, but
let's do that. So this was her idea.
I mean, I'd hate that risk assessment, that performance,
because they want water. Like imagine how long it would
take to clean up. But fuck me sexy.
Yeah, so hot. She looks so good.
You literally like, why wouldn't you?
I mean, I know that it's probably incredibly problematic
with the male gaze of camera etcetera, etcetera.
But all of that aside, if you had that body, why wouldn't you
just want to be celebrating it? And like, it's unbelievable how?
Hot she is. Yeah.
The male gaze of it all comes up
so much during this movie. Like it's obviously doesn't
factor in for me because I don't want to bone her.
I but I just love looking at her so much.
It's just so I find it so empowering.
It's annoying to also realize that like, so many teen boys
probably rented this movie and wanked over it, but then also
like, maybe that's great too. Yeah, I feel like I know lots of
like female friends that that would now wank to this as well.
I feel like she's it's been reclaimed in that sense to get
go. So the problematic female gaze
is here as well. Yes, the gaze is happening.
The gaze is gazing because those are out.
You mean the gaze? Yeah, the gaze.
Oh, it's all the gaze, the gaze, the days, everything do.
You know that Kate Blanchett clip, right?
No, I don't know meme culture, sorry.
Well, it's really good. Someone's like, someone's saying
to her, Kate, you're known for your evil gaze.
And she's like, I am. It's like, yeah, yeah, you know,
you're classic evil gays. She's like my gays.
And she's like, oh, my gays. I thought you meant the gays.
Oh, you mean the gays, not the gays.
Well, imagine if gays were watching this show.
It would be a very different response to those guys.
I mean, I'd probably kill the gays quicker than she kills,
kills that guy. But could you imagine it'd just
be like? Yeah.
Oh, she's wet. Mother.
So yeah, Pammy is getting catcalled by a gross, slutty man
in the audience. He's like, take it off, take it
off faster. Take it off, babe.
And we learned right here that babe is her trigger word.
Do not call her babe. She takes off her stiletto and
she throws it at him, impaling him in the head with her
stiletto. Don't call me babe.
Can I just slow clap? Can I just slow clap?
I mean what? What else?
Like on this podcast?
What else are we looking for in an opening?
Scene. I can't think of a better way to
start a movie. And the soundtrack is that kind
of like rocky slash dancey industrial, which is so a
product of this time that I'm, I don't listen.
I don't listen to that music. But whenever it comes on, I'm
like, Oh yes. It's so good.
Then she goes backstage and we learn it's her first night as a
stripper. There's some really baffling
dialogue, including a woman who sounds like she's speaking
French, and then the other girl says she's Chinese.
OK, I'm not sure why that was in there, but Pam, we learn, is
actually there to rescue a girl. So she leaves the changing room
and kills a man with a cigarette blow dart, which is also great.
Pulls the girl out of a meat locker and they escaped by
batmaning out a window. And I also something I love
about this is like it's giving like very Catwoman vibes.
Michelle Pfeiffer, Like it's she's helping the woman, but she
also hates her as well. She's like, it's not like, so
like, come here, give me a hug. It's like, get up.
Yeah. Froze her down the chute.
What does Michelle Pfeiffer say to that woman she rescues and.
What is it like? You make it so easy.
You make it so easy, don't you? Always waiting for some bad man
to save you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's so good. It's you're right.
It's exactly that energy. It's so good.
But yeah, because Barb isn't a stripper at all.
She's a bounty hunter. Yeah, she is.
Yeah, she returns the girl to her family, takes the money and
their car. Can we?
And I'm like can. We also talk locked in, but
like, how bad was that that guy's accent?
Oh. Yeah.
It was like literally jarringly bad.
It's like he doesn't need to be British.
Like no, no, just make him American.
Yeah, just it was, I was just like, what the fuck.
But yeah. But then it had that mean, mean
and Moody like Neo Noir voice over from her, didn't it?
Where it was like, I guess I'll take the car.
Yeah, not bad for a night's work.
And it's like a shot of her, like in a sunset.
And that's what you get for being a bad girl in a tough
town. Yeah, I thought I could handle
these mean streets, but blah, blah, blah.
It's very that. But it's great, the car plus
the. Cash.
Not a bad night's work. Well, how do you do that?
You just snapped into character. Oh my God.
I was just really impressed by the work there.
That was great. Thank you.
Well, that's actually what I do when a time I'm driving in a
taxi in LA. I'm just like, monologuing is a
hard night of hooking, but somebody had to do it after a
long night of hooking. Trey didn't like the session, so
he had good at me. Anyway, it's an excellent setup.
She's like an amoral, tough, sexy character.
She doesn't give a fuck. I'm I'm like so on board.
So on board. What what's the not to be on
board with in that situation? Yeah.
I mean, it's it's quite clear from immediate that she's not
going to be great at doing the acting.
But I'd say my overall feeling about this movie is like, I
would change a lot about this movie.
I don't think anything she does is I would change.
No, I agree. I wish the movie overall was
better and that she could be landed in it doing exactly the
same thing because I think it would make it really fun, but
because she's so watchable. She's so watchable.
And it's the other thing is it's like, yeah, like you said, like
they sort of set up these kind of quite cool ways that she
kills people, but then that sort of fizzles out, doesn't it?
She doesn't really have that many more things up her sleeve
after that. It's sort of no, Yeah, front
loaded it. Yeah, then we've got a scene
with our villain who is torturing a girl in a metal Borg
style bikini, which is just. So fucking ridiculous.
Yeah, it's so silly. She's having her mind read and
being electrocuted. Everything's all like she's.
Why is she in a bikini? I don't know, metal bikini.
It's it is quite. It is quite.
Fab. And she's like kind of orgasming
as well, isn't she? Yeah, yeah.
But he kills her and this is where we get our set up for the
the villain. So he's the evil Nazi Colonel
Prizer, and he's looking for Cora Dee, who sounds like a 90s
like dance act. Let me be your fantasy Cora Dee.
She is a former government scientist with a cure to the
Congressional director. It's new bio weapon which is a
mutated form of HIV. What was it called as well?
Something like ribbon some. Red Ribbon?
Fucking hell yeah. I mean, that is so the product
of the 90s, isn't it? Because they were like hating on
the AIDS big time then, yeah. But I guess this movie doesn't
really take a stand on it, does it?
No, it doesn't take a stand on anything, though it does it
really. No, I was just wondering like
what the movies take on ATV is this.
I guess you could, you could say they're raising awareness.
Cool. Well, hopefully they donated
some money. But yeah, Cora D, our scientist,
is on the run and she has just arrived in Steel Harbour with
Axel Hood. And she's just had plastic
surgery as well, hasn't she? Has.
Yeah, for some reason. I guess that's important to the
plot, yeah. I mean because.
She she's in hiding. She could have given me a bit
more like kind of, I don't know, something a bit more exciting.
Like she's gorgeous. She's very, it's very, I mean,
the surgeon's great. It's very good work.
I'll say that. You can't.
Tell it looks very natural yeah very natural.
So her and Axel need to get to Canada and and in order to do
that they need some special contact lenses to get through
the border. Wow, there's nothing sexier than
contact lenses. There's a.
Main plot device is a. Contact lenses, yeah, that is
the Mac Guffin of this movie. That is the reason we're here.
This whole movie is going to be about getting a pair of contact
lenses. And it's not even like it's set
in the future. So it's not even like we're
going to, you know, give you different eyeballs or something.
A bit like freaky. Nope.
It's just this contacts. Just some contact lenses.
That's the only way she's going to get to Canada.
So our girl Barb runs a nightclub called the Hammerhead,
where everyone is welcome because Barb doesn't take sides.
I mean, I love this club. Yeah, of course you do.
It's like the dream venue. Yeah, it's so great.
It's just like, Oh my God, I want to like go there every
single night. I want to perform there.
I just want to. It's the kind of place that
you're surprised someone is an angle grinding in the corner.
Yeah, but it's like she runs a great bar.
And this is what I will say. This is what I love about
apocalyptic features. Underground subcultures and
fetish wear will always thrive. Yeah, everyone's wearing a
choker. The extras, every extra is
serving in this movie. The looks are so good.
Did you see that girl with the, like, the big side, parted red
hair and the tits out? Yeah, she's like in a bustier.
Tits out. Oh, she looks so good.
It's this classic. Yeah.
Like classic, like, centerfold 90s metal rock'n'roll Moto
chick. Yeah.
Here for it. Yeah, we've got Udo Keir playing
Curly, who runs Barb's bar. He's Do you know this man?
I've seen him in 90s films before but I didn't know
anything about him but I just recognized his face.
Yeah, I love this man. Guess how many movies Udo Keir
has been in? I like, well, it's going to be a
lot, but I'm going to say like 40, but.
Over 220. Wow.
He he has averaged 4 movies a year for his career.
Wow. Which is.
Which is spent 50 years. And is he still alive?
Is he still with us? He lives in Palm Springs with
his husband and. He's a guy as well, yeah.
He's been, he's been out the whole time.
He just said it was never a big deal.
Do you know he was in Madonna's Erotica music video and in
Madonna's Sex Book? No.
He he was, he was in the original Suspiria.
He was in Blade. He's done loads of work with
Lars von Trier. He's basically, he will say yes
to everything, but he's done some really cool stuff.
What a life, yeah. Like, and just imagine being
like, even like even like a credit like this.
It might not be the most prestigious credit, but to be,
you know, the wingman to barbed wire is a pretty fucking
amazing. I'm sure there's some like great
storylines there to off camera. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So I love him.
I love him. And he's basically playing like
the gay, the gay best friend. Yeah, he's the he's the Alfred
to her Batman. Yeah, it's very that there are
lots of those like kind of comparisons with Batman in this
film, I think. Yeah, but we learned that Barb
is strapped for cash and she's not making enough to pay her
staff at the bar. So, you know, she carries about
making sure people get paid on time.
So she's got to take another job and.
What's that job going to be? Well then we cut to her on the
street as a prostitute. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense.
It's like, it makes sense, you know, Well, obviously she wasn't
going to be invited back to be a stripper when she killed
someone. So, you know, she needs to think
on her feet. What else can I do?
And, you know, obviously as a hot blonde, the only other thing
she could do is be a prostitute. It makes complete sense.
I love this bit, though, because there is a moment where you're
like, well, maybe she is just going to hook.
Yeah. And like, that's how she's going
to make some extra cash. Again, that's why, like, people
like us watching these films, beers way differently to other
people because we're like, sex workers work.
Go for it, girlie. There you go.
Yeah. Girls got to eat.
Dick, sorry. She picks up a John and he asks
to see her license and you see a flash of her card that says
license for prostitution, which is so great, so great.
And she takes him home. I love this scene.
It's I love this scene. So he's like, he tries to get
with her and she's like, why don't you slip into something
more comfortable? And he says, I was thinking
something less comfortable. And then he comes out in a full
GIMP suit and it's just amazing. It's it's clear this movie has
no respect for men from this scene.
And that's what I really, really.
Really. And then and then what is it as
well? Like, did you wash your hands?
And he's like. No, I was bad, yeah.
I know like a little. Brown No, I was naughty, and she
says. I'm so glad to hear that.
Yeah, it's great. Yeah, and then she takes his
paddle to give him a spanking. She says turn around, and then
she knocks him out. No, no, because Barb doesn't
take shit. She's actually there to get the
guy in the room next door. She uses some plastic
explosives, blows through the wall.
And then we've got our first big action scene where she does a
shootout and kills another man who calls her babe and kidnaps
this man who is a bail jumper. But also, it turns out has the
contact lenses. Now just quickly interrupt.
Obviously as you said, we know what her trigger is.
Now what? What do you get annoyed when?
What if people call you something?
What? What's your like trigger word?
What's do you have one? No, I don't.
But then as I'm thinking, it's probably just going to be
something like fag, isn't it? It's actually probably going to
be something quite nasty. And like, don't call me.
Actually don't. Don't call me baby Lemay, that
is. Baby Lemay is a big one for me.
Yeah. Owen Jones thinks my name is
Crystal. Whenever I see him out, he'll
introduce me to whatever Baggies with him.
Like he's a little bit like, this is Crystal.
I'm like I can't be bothered to explain this.
Well, you you could explain it in the pammy way and just kind
of. Hit him.
Call me Crystal. Feel through the head.
Yeah. Great.
There you go. Put it into practice, it might
work. Contact lenses, sorry.
Yeah, contact lenses. She's kidnapped this man.
She takes him to the guy who's hired her.
I like that she extorts him for Canadian dollars.
She doesn't want American. She wants Canadian because
that's the world we're living in.
Yep. Drops off the man, she doesn't
know the contact lenses is there, blah, blah, blah.
Who cares? Back at the bar, we have a scene
of her dancing with a soldier. I thought it was kind of cute.
It's like showing that she's like a woman of the people,
isn't it? Yeah, it also shows.
Yeah, because you know, she can't style her hair for all
occasions because her hair looked terrible.
This was the when her hair was really flat.
Yeah, I'm just like some parts I'm like, I know she's been up
against it, but like, where's the fantasy of like the perfect
dude? Like sometimes it literally
looks like she's been through it.
Do you know what I? Mean, do you think, do you think
it was like wig versus not because sometimes it is so
wiggy? Wig.
Did you just say Wig? Yes.
Just looks thirsty. But maybe it's just her hair.
You know what I mean? Yeah, I.
Don't know, but I, because I think do you know, the person
who like created this look was that they died a few years ago.
It was her makeup artist called Alexis Vogel.
And if you look at this woman, she is incredible.
Like she clearly just mastered the back tease of the hair.
They're like thin, thin eyebrows, like the overdrawn
lips. And you're just like, oh,
apparently she was one of the reasons why Pammy decided to
ditch wearing makeup all the time.
She just said that no one could do it like her.
And she just kind of and she just they had such like a
brilliant working relationship and friendship together that
when she went it just the fun kind of went of it.
But again, I was just like imagine being the person that
created that like stamp. That look icon.
And also as well the costume designer and died 3 days ago.
Oh, but she also, she worked on so many big films, but she
worked on Carrie as a costume designer.
Oh wow. She's literally just done all of
these different films because her costumes are so beautiful.
The corset tree. Oh, it's just like quality,
quality, quality. Yeah, the silhouettes are
amazing. There's a scene the first time
she's in the nightclub as well, I guess, when you first see her
in that corset, I think, and she's being lit through like a
slatted blind. It just looks so hot.
And her ass, like her ass is ridiculous.
She's got that like French cut. So it's a thong cut corset just
framing her butt so well. It looks amazing.
It looks so good. Yeah.
No notes, No notes, no notes.
I'm probably going to like speed through the rest of the movie
because to be honest, I feel like we've hit the yeah.
We kind of know where she's got the contact lenses.
She knows where they are. Yeah, so we meet.
We've got the crooked chief of police, Willis.
He brings the evil villain to the bar.
They're trying to get Barb to help them find the fugitive.
Dr. Axel also comes to the club and asks Barb for help.
And we learned they have a romantic history because he left
Barb high and dry during the war.
But that flashback scene, so I had to talk about that.
That was just that. I, I howled with laughter during
that because it was, I know I've just been defending Hammy's
acting, but like, fuck me, that is like a rough, rough, rough.
It's giving like soap opera, daytime soap opera.
It's giving daytime soap opera portrayed in a like sketch
comedy show. It's very SNL, they put like a
weird reverb effect on it as. Well Oh my God the echo effect.
That flashback scene is amazing. She's in like army fatigues and
a hard hat. She looks like so out of place.
That face has never seen a frontline.
No fucking way. But again, I just, I love the
basicness of just like equating like a woman without makeup.
Obviously that was before, you know, she was a bad girl and you
know, there was some. It's the most literal thing you
can do, isn't it? There's so many things about
this movie that they all feel it feels quite a lot like a porn
parody of a movie. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, it does. It does.
It's like sometimes it's been given as much thought as like,
yeah, the the porn version. There must be a porn version of
this movie. That has to be.
And you're completely right. Like if you could interject so
many sex scenes, couldn't you? You could literally go right cut
here and then this is where they all take their clothes off and
they fuck against this and they do.
I could just, I can see it now basically getting excited.
You see, darling, you are a whore.
But yeah, Barb doesn't want to help anyone because she doesn't
take sides anymore because she's jaded, blah blah blah.
The Nazis trash Barb's bar and Barb's brother Charlie decides
to help the resistance and the doctor Corey D, but he gets
caught and killed by the Nazis, which forces Barb to take sides.
What do we think of the brother character?
I'll be completely honest with you, I I didn't know that he was
the brother. I wasn't really paying attention
to him. The blind guy, yes.
You didn't know he was her brother.
I must have tapped out of that bit because I do remember, like,
obviously the bar being destroyed and he's like hiding
under it and is he like, getting some drink or something?
And then she helps him. Yeah.
So I was just like, oh, he's just the drunk at the bar.
And then. And then obviously, I mean, how
stupid of me because when he's found dead, her emotional
performance, I mean, of course it's a blood relation to her
because it was so sad and touching her the way she's
wailing over his body. But no, I didn't.
I didn't realize. So yeah.
I liked the casting for him because he does kind of look
like the male Pammy he's got. He's got the 90's rock star
Harry. He's got that huge lips like he
was. Yeah, I mean, he wasn't very
good either. But so anyway, Charlie's death
forces Barb to take sides, and she decides to help Axel and
Cora Dee get to the border. Before that though, we've got
Batty big fat, so to get through.
That's what we know that with the budget is running out so
much when he's literally sat in like a like a tractor yeah just
sat there and that's like the big set piece of the villain
with like 2 extras holding a gun looking at her.
It's. Giving.
Yeah, again, it's giving porn parody of Mad Max.
Yeah, totally. Yeah.
It's so similar to Mad Max. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, also, this movie, you know, is the plot of Casablanca.
Yeah, I've never seen Casablanca.
Sorry I haven't either but. Yeah, like what?
A celebrated, critically acclaimed film?
No, thank you. Not on my.
Watch. But yeah, it's quite funny that
that's, yeah, a renowned movie. And this movie was like, let's
just do that plot, but we'll set it in a post apocalyptic future
and it'll have tips. And somehow managed to get rid
of a plot because I know there is a plot in this film, but
it's, I mean it, it doesn't really sustain a plot, does it?
Not really, no. Because now we've got the
inevitable chase scene. Lots of explosions.
Lots of bag wigs from the stunt double.
S Oh my God, so many shots of her from above where you can
just see frizzy hair. On I was like, what's my wig
doing on this? Yeah, it's very like wigs I
wear. I was like, I know that wig.
Yeah, sometimes the wig in this looks like it was the Smithies
version of a Pamela Anderson wig.
It's like because I'm sure that this wig does exist in a
Smithies version like and it would be called 90s bombshell or
something. Yeah, yeah. 90s screen siren.
But yeah, I also have this wig. I mean I think mine was is a
little better. Than.
Than than the one she wears sometimes or definitely the one
the stunt double S wearing. Anyway, final fight scene,
there's a crane. Barb and the evil Colonel are
fighting on the crane. I liked the bit he like uses a
forklift, like pin her against a bunch of cars and so it's like a
car pile up on a forklift that then ends up on a crane.
It's just very silly. Yeah, yeah.
And before that as well, she was had a motorbike, didn't she,
with the kind of the two jets as well that she.
Oh yeah, she had like rocket launcher.
Yeah, yeah. Loved all of that.
Yeah. Yeah, that was great.
But Barb sends the evil Colonel to his death because he calls
her babe and he falls to his death.
They make it to the airport to get their flight.
Basically this whole movie is about catching a plane.
To go to. Canada, yeah, to get some
getting some contact lenses and catching a flight.
I don't have my prescription. I'm not going to go out to fly
unless I've got my prescription. I'm going to have to go to
boots. Also as well, when she does give
her the contact lenses, I'm like they are bright blue and a
really weird they're giving like Meryl Streep in Death becomes
her. Like the pigment has gone from
your eyes. I'm like, darling, I think
people might question whether these are your real eyes and
whether something legit is going on even though you have had
exquisite plastic surgery. Just saying.
Well, it works because Cora D puts the lenses in and she
escapes to Canada. And then Axel touches old Barb's
lift in a really weird way, like leave the makeup alone.
Yeah, it's very that bit in Showgirls where like the the
pimpy strip club owner like touches know me on the face.
Yeah, it's just like, get off her.
Must be weird not having anybody come on you.
But Barb takes her new wealth, and she goes to make a fresh
start, and you can just imagine she's going to end up in a new
city with new people to grudgingly help a new sequel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That end, the way the film ends,
is so abrupt as well, isn't it? Because it's like she says, get
in line, boom, boom, boom. And then that's it.
And I'm like, fuck, yeah, That's a great because normally in
those kind of films, I will give her credit for that.
Like, normally at the end, you know, you do have the hero
that's been left to fight justice by themselves, but they
kind of linger on it a bit more. But no, not with her.
It's like, boom, I'm going to fuck something up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the movie.
Where do we start? Well, I mean, what is the to not
love about Pamela Anderson with guns in leather, Yeah.
Or pleather or PVC? I mean, I something I really
enjoyed about the film in general was obviously there's
not a lot of money spent on special effects, but when we got
to like the see the sort of explosions and the fight
sequences, I was like, I fucking love a big old fight scene.
No CGI. It's just fun, isn't it?
Yeah, they put a lot of money into explosions in this movie,
which we can give it that for sure.
That this movie is kind of interesting because you can
imagine it gender swapped and with like a male action lead and
it would still be a bad movie, but people wouldn't hate it.
People wouldn't be like, this is the worst movie of all time.
It wouldn't be on the top of lists of like the worst movies
of the 90s. It would just be kind of like a
normal bad action movie. But because it's her, there's
like this extra hate for it. I I feel, and that's just
obviously just misogyny, isn't it?
It's because people are like, look at this slut.
She thought she could be someone.
We're not going to let her have this.
That's how it feels. Totally.
And it's like it's interesting what you were saying earlier
about that quote from Robert Eggers as well about the people
making this film know that it's not a good film.
And I wonder how much of that was like, you know, you know, if
we only spend 9,000,000 is Pamela Anderson, we get her tits
out. We put up these hot pictures of
her. I bet it's like cash cow.
We can get the money back from that.
Do you know what I mean? Like, because she is just like
front and centre, like her body is the film, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's very, it's got kind
of like that exploitation movie sort of vibe to it.
What I love though, is that like, it feels like she's in
charge the whole way through. It feels like she's driving it.
I mean, if there's one thing we know about Pamela Anderson is
that she's like very vocal. She's very opinionated.
It feels like she's always been kind of like in charge of her
career choices. Yeah, because I've read
something else about this film as well, that she just was like,
when when it got pitched to her, she was like, it was, you know,
the characters got guns and is fighting people and she was just
like, that sounds and riding bikes.
That sounds really cool. And it's like, why wouldn't you
at that stage of your career as Pamela Anderson, want to do
that? You're like, you're part of like
the hottest rock'n'roll couple in the world.
You're like at your peak of just kind of like everybody thinks
you're sort of beautiful. I, if I, if I was that, I'd want
to be in a big action, but I would love to be in an action
film and just sort of just get to do stunts and fight people.
It's it's cool. It's like, why wouldn't you want
to be that character? Totally.
And then you look at someone like Anna Nicole Smith, who's
probably like a similar type of person.
And yet the roles that she was doing, you know, she was more
kind of the parody of herself, wasn't she?
The airhead, the bimbo And I, I, you know, you can say what you
want about barbed wire, but she's not a bimbo.
There's no sort of dumbness. You know, she even says like
when she does one of the deals, what do I look like new?
Like, she's not that person, is she?
She's she's. Yeah, it's never played for
laughs. And also there's like, oh, it's.
Definitely never played for laughs because she's not got a
comedic bone in her body. Bless.
Her but there's also the thing where like you can imagine if it
was a female action hero like you can, you can think of other
female action hero movies where they're like, Oh, I don't know
what I'm doing. I guess I have to figure this
out. Oh, I'm helpless.
Oh, I guess like I'll make it through somehow on like I'll
figure it out and then I'll eventually get through it or
like some someone's going to come and help me and like I'll
have to become an action hero. Yeah, yeah, that's there's,
there's always like an introduction of a softer side,
isn't that, that. And that's, you know, that's
probably through like fucking loads of focus groups that,
well, we have to get women on side and, you know, we have to
kind of. And you know, you've seen it
playing out so many time, like the, you know, the former love
of my life that could have been played so differently as well.
Like, you know, seeing her hurt and seeing her and no, she just,
she just kind of accepts the actual situation for what it is.
And it's like, well, of course that's, you know, people fuck,
fuck me over, so I'm going to fuck them over.
It's like, yeah, it's a very, like a very sort of definite
character type, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's I love. It's the same as like a Bruce
Willis character or like Sylvester Stallone.
Like it's not. She's just stepping into the
male action lead role without it necessarily needing to be like
overly feminized. You know what they you know what
else they would have done in like a normal kind of film?
Like this is like normally, like when you said Bruce Willis and
stuff, they normally like introduce the floor, don't they?
So it's like, oh, he's an alcoholic or something called
there's a problem. And and so it's it's interesting
that she doesn't have a floor per SE.
And also because you could easily imagine it being like,
Oh, she's this like tough ass, like fighter, but she's got a
real like, oh, oops, is, is that like a pair of new high heels
over there in the corner? Oh, I must get them.
You know, that kind of just like like a bit like Catwoman in
Batman Returns. It's like she loves sparkly
things, you know what I mean? But again, there's no, I mean, I
know she wants money, but it's more because she wants to escape
the hellhole that is America. I don't think that's like.
Yeah, yeah, I guess the closest we get is like, she breaks a
nail at one point and she's like, damn.
But yeah. But it's kind of a relatable.
I mean that's it. Seems annoying.
Yeah, it is annoying. I mean, yeah, I mean, is it that
where were they getting their nails done?
Because I don't know. For the last to Free State, it
doesn't seem that bad. Yeah, everything looks like it's
been blown up. But then they've still have
everything like products and services and debit cards and
face scanners and, yeah, dirty magazines and.
Stuff. Oh yeah, the, the technology is
like next level, isn't it? I oh, that's, do you know what?
That's something I love though. When you watch films like
futuristic films in the 90s, I just love that aesthetic of what
like the future of technology looks like.
It's so not where we're at. But I just, it's, it's just so
good, isn't it? Give me that future any day over
like AI taking over. Oh my God, I know, I know.
Where's where's my cyberpunk dirty grungy?
Goth metal. Yeah.
It's, it's hot.
It's really hot. It's really hot.
What would we change about this movie?
Well, I as we were talking through the plot, I was just
thinking about this because AI was thinking when you said Mad
Max, I was like, fuck, this film could be remade if it was given
the love and sort of attention that the Mad Max bills have
given, because it isn't the same world.
And like you could totally build a bigger world with this
character, I think. But it it just needs more.
And actually, I think I think it's because nothing really
happens in the plot. It feels like this is just like
the beginning of the story. Do you know what I mean?
That like, they get on the plane and then shit's about to hit the
fan, you know? It feels like they've padded a
lot, which is essentially just like there was some contact
lenses that need to be found to help someone escape.
It's a bit like, is that it? Yeah, you're right.
This is basic. Like in a lot of ways this is
the similar to Fury Rd. isn't it?
Because that's Charlize Theron, like trying to get some girls
escaped. And it's like she's the toughest
nails kind of anti hero. She doesn't give a shit.
She's kind of a moral. She'll do whatever it takes.
And that that's one of my favorite movies ever.
Like that movie? Is so good, I think yeah.
So I think it just needed to like probably like a bigger, a
bigger sort of picture of what the plot was and the bigger
storyline, more of a moment. If it almost was like ATV
episode, yeah. Yeah, it does kind of have that
energy. The villains are really bad.
Like, they're so unmemorable. It's actually hard to.
You can't actually tell who's who sometimes because they're so
they're all wearing the same Nazi uniform.
So you're like, I don't know. I don't know who you are.
And they've got give me like a fun villain, you know, give me a
memorable characteristic, some like some cool power or cool
like signature move. Give me something that will help
me like remember them and then. Oh, yeah.
Or like the actual feeling of like, danger.
Like I never felt that she was like, threatened.
Obviously she's in these situations, and I know obviously
because of what the film is, she's always going to get out.
But they're never sense. They never seem to be a real
sense of like, oh, fuck, something's going to fuck her
up. Now it's just felt like, oh,
she's got this. It's easy.
Yeah. Is that good or bad that like,
because again, if it was a male fronted action movie, by the end
of the movie he'd be filthy, he'd be bleeding, he'd be
limping, he'd have gotten him, he'd have gotten impaled
somewhere at some point. You know, she doesn't have any
of that. She still ends the movie kind of
looking flawless. I wonder if that's good or bad.
Well, it's calm. It's very much calm.
Like it's like, because I love it even when she's like getting
ready to like fight. She's really worked out the
accessories with the bullets, hasn't it?
Yeah, but knows if she's got the guns for them.
But it's like it's giving like it's.
Crossbody chains of. Bullets Jodie Marsh down, you
know, China White. Oh my God, it's so true.
I loved Camille the dog as well. Shout out to Camille the dog
that felt completely unnecessary that she's got this like bitchy
dog that bites men's Dicks. But I was here for that.
Also another shout out to the completely unnecessary but
massively necessary bitchy air stewardess at the end.
Why in this post apocalyptic future do we still have just
like a classic air stewardess as well and.
She was so mean. She was just like, were you
ready to scan? Like, yeah.
And then the other one was waving.
But so I love it. In the future, there are still
these opportunities for people and there are these roles on.
There. And another another bit I really
enjoyed as well was when she was in the bath.
Me too. I love that because and then
with the foam coming out, but I don't know if you remember, I
don't know if the version you saw, because I saw the one that
was full tit. It was a bit just before she
left the couple where she was getting into her robe and just
she just did one point of flash of that tit and I was just like,
yes, Pammy, flash that tit. So good.
I really thought we were going to get a fight scene with her in
a towel. Oh, that would have been great,
wouldn't it? That would have been great.
I mean, they would have done that in an Arnie movie or
Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. Like they were always fighting
naked, those guys. I'm surprised we didn't get
that. Yeah.
Oh yeah. Like or like her like covered in
oil or something. Like, yeah, you could imagine
like they could have got a bit more creative with some of the
the fight setups for her. What did they have sex?
Did she? Sorry.
No, I was just going to say that, yeah, there was no sex
scene. No sex scene, which is
interesting. And kind of cool as well though,
isn't it? Yeah, because you can imagine
her getting seduced by like someone, and that's how.
We or she has to use like she's she's playing someone, but it's
like an opportunity for them to get a sex scene with Pam in it.
I think a lot of people felt like this movie was like not
sexy enough in this weird way, like it was like promising more
than it gave. It is funny that it like it has
a lot of tip but then no like no sex.
I don't know, I'm into. It and yeah and even like when
she's like I mean arguably that opening sequence is very sexual
like Oh yeah but then when she's like the prostitute that's just
funny that's just not that's just great that's that's that
was really camp that sort of portrayal of because and again
like really authentic that that insects work exists, doesn't it
as someone I mean not saying I dress up as gimps and don't wash
my hands and get people to spank me with paddles crystal but
maybe I do I didn't wash my hands during this podcast either
I was dirty I shat my. Pants, where are they?
They're on my bottom right now. You want to see?
Oh sorry, this is a Gate show, an exclusive now.
A warning. I side note, I always, I've
started thinking about this, I genuinely started thinking about
if you could guarantee me for the next 5 years of my life, a
certain level of income and it doesn't need to be crazily high,
but maybe probably what I get now from my work.
And because I think if I moved into this, I would have to fully
commit. But basically what I'm saying is
I would shit on camera for people and do all of that stuff
if it meant that I could just have security for five years and
I wouldn't care. So sorry, I just wanted to share
that because I've really been thinking about it a lot.
What's funny is during the the filming of this episode, the sun
has obviously gone down in the UK, so you've gotten darker and
darker. So you're just a barely visible
little face saying I would shit on camera sat in the dark by
yourself. Well, there we go.
It's needle time. Sexy.
Confident. Do you think there was a world
where Pammy could have come out of this and had a film career?
You know, is there, is there a Hollywood trajectory that would
have worked for her or was it doomed from the get go?
I kind of don't think so because I think she is unfortunately a
bad actress. That's not to say I don't love
watching her, but like I understand that I'm watching it
in like a reclam, like a reclamation way.
I'm celebrating the trash. It's got a bit of irony to it.
I want her to succeed, and I kind of like it when someone's
in a movie and it looks like they don't know what they're
doing and they don't want to be there and they're like kind of
not giving a fuck. That's fun for me.
I understand why that's not fun for the general population.
But you're right, because it's it's a short movie as well.
It's sort of that sweet spot of like 98 minutes, which is just
perfect for me because if this was two hours, I I'm not sure I
could have stayed with it, but I know.
But yeah, I even Even so I fell asleep, yeah, for a little bit.
Well, I only I watched the first half, had a break and then
watched the second-half the following day.
Maybe not the easiest to watch is, but she was really watchable
and yeah, like I I don't think I could see her in other in other
movies, but that much. I mean, she's she's going for it
now, isn't she? She's doing more roles.
So it'll be interesting to see if that does open up stuff, but.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's definitely like
a better movie to be made because obviously it has the
bones of a of a classic. It's based on Casablanca.
So like I think if if it were elevated across the board, it
would be a much better movie. Like better villains, better
supporting cast, bigger budget. And if you did all of that and
still kept Pam, I think you'd have a much better movie.
I think she would still be quite bad in it, but maybe that would
be kind of fun, especially maybe if like they'd lent into the
comedy and like she was surrounded by a really funny
supporting cast and then she was giving that sort of role.
And maybe that there would be like a foil with.
Her Is it fair to say that no one is good at acting in this
film? I think, I think no one's good.
Yeah, they're all terrible, aren't they?
Maybe, maybe our, maybe our man Udo.
Yeah, but still it's it's yeah, it's it's not great, is it?
No, it's interesting as well because this film sort of came
out when lots of there were lots of 90s films flopping like you
said, like Street Fighter, Nario Brother, the Mario Brothers
film, and Tank Girl. Tank Girl.
Lots of the films were going for this like aesthetic and like all
flopping. Yeah, there was that Met, There
was that movie with Shaq steal. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've not seen it. I've heard of it, yeah.
Yeah, there's like Batman Forever, which was kind of in
the same sort of campy vibe. Bad, bad, bad.
It kind of feels like an interesting area of film of
genre for people to maybe remake now because like something like
a Tank Girl, if it was kind of done in a slightly kind of
cooler, a 24 way maybe. Yeah, but I guess that's kind of
what the Furiosa but Curiosa movie is kind of in that world,
isn't it? Which it was fun.
And yeah, we've got the new Barbarella coming out, which
that'll be interesting. I just had like, I was sort of
trying to think, if I was going to remake this film, who would I
star in it? And I've decided that I don't
want to make the film now, but I do want to make the film maybe
like 12 years ago. So this is a different universe,
OK, A split universe situation. Burlesque has not been made.
Christina Aguilera is going to be making her first ever film
role as Barbed Wire. Wagon Wheel What to see?
Ex Tina, you know, roundabout the I'm not myself tonight era
is barbed wire. I love it.
Can Cher still be in it somehow? Cher is her arch nemesis in it.
So Cher is fatso. I would love to see Cher playing
an older villain but like someone that's not.
Not like a kind of Cher, but like a decrepit.
There were rumors a while ago, and I don't think they were true
at all, but I kind of loved them, that she was going to play
like an older Catwoman, but a Catwoman who'd been sort of
through it and kind of disfigured and kind of like a
re, you know, kind of how like some and the Colin Farrell
Penguin kind of. Yeah.
I would love to see something like that from Cher.
But it is interesting that she doesn't have like a female
antagonist because like when we look at like Halle Berry's
Catwoman or anytime there's like a female superhero, they always
end up having to fight the lady. Or like if there's a female
supporting character in an action movie or she has to
fight, take down the the girl baddie and the man fights the
man. Totally.
And I like that this is just her versus like all the different
kinds of terrible men. Exactly.
And like, again, that's that's actually just it's so refreshing
because we've seen that play out a million times.
And, you know, sometimes it is satisfying from a camp
perspective of diva versus diva. But it's like, yeah, it's it's
great that there's not this just kind of wicked female mastermind
behind it all that's going to get a bitch slap from her.
And I also like, I also really enjoy the way she hates the
scientists because she's really boring.
Yeah. She's not like friends with
Koda, is she? She's.
Like no Cora Dee. Cora Dee.
Sorry, let me be your fantasy Cora Dee.
Yeah. Oh, and just one more, one more
thing I'd like to shout out about this is just, I am a
sucker for like a rock'n'roll soundtrack.
Oh yeah, like rock'n'roll licks everywhere, all throughout it.
I'm just like, Oh yeah baby. I recommend the song by Shampoo
which is on Spotify called Don't Call Me Babe which was written
for this movie. And exactly like getting shampoo
to do yourself. Yeah, it's the song.
The first time she's on her motorcycle.
It's the song place. It's got like a really heavy
electric guitar riff to start. It's great.
Should we rate this movie? We.
Have to rate this movie, yes? So on the camper meter, we're
giving it a score out of 10 Merrells and 10 Lizas.
For Merrells, I'm Julia Child. I mean, it's really pretty.
It's really pretty fashion video editorial, right?
Yeah, yeah, it's there's like some good lighting.
I think there's some good set pieces.
The costume. Great gowns.
Beautiful gowns. I was trying to think of other
movies like that we've rated the lowest.
Like, is it better than Catwoman from a Merrell's perspective?
As a film, yeah. I think it's less coherent, but
I think I like it more. Yes, I agree.
I mean, it's a terrible, it's a terrible film that to be fair, I
think to make a big blockbuster fighty action film, they didn't
really have enough resources, I think, which has made it hard.
But it's still pretty shit, isn't it?
Yeah. I might have to give it, yeah.
Two, I'm going to. Are you going one or two?
Yeah, I'm going to give it 2, but yeah.
That's not to say don't watch this movie, I would just say
maybe watch the 1st 30 minutes and then the last 15.
Also what is the name of this podcast?
I don't think it's like, is this a good film podcast?
Oh, no, no, I know, I know, I know.
But like, I also don't want to encourage people not to watch
this, Pamela. No, Oh my God.
But that's why we're going to flip fucking reverse it right
now. Because so liesers.
I really, really like this film. Like I really, really fucking
enjoyed it. Pamela Anderson is just
everything in it. And like, as you said, although
she's like a stripper and a prostitute and other negative
stereotypes about women, she's also kick ass.
There's no other lazy links to kind of romance or like, you
know, pathetic kind of problems with other women.
It's literally like she's a bad ass bitch with a gun and she's
going to fuck shit up. And I just think, I just think
it's a joy to watch and it's campus fuck.
It is campus fuck. I mean queer joy.
The 1st 30 minutes of this, it was pure queer joy for me.
Ongoing legacy. I mean she is the drag
blueprint. Yes.
This this look launched 1000 drag Queens.
And then you look at like Beyoncé did it dressed up as her
for Halloween as this look, it's, it's, it's single Jenner.
It's such a timeless look. It's really fucking special.
Yeah, yeah, Underdog flop vibes. 100% bucket loads.
Bucket loads informs queer pop culture.
Yeah, it's, it's just kind of slightly missing the greatness
of like midnight movie status. Do you know what I mean?
No one's watching this movie. Also, I just I would just like
to remind you that we gave I Still know who killed me a
perfect 10 on the Cam a meter. I would also really believe that
people aren't watching that movie as well.
Yeah, it's so true. It's so true.
What are you? Going to give it oh do you know,
fuck it, I'm giving it A10 IA 100%.
I'm giving it a 10 because it is, fuck, it is modern day camp.
It's the kind of camp I live for.
It's not just like, oh, we're doing a musical.
Oh, that's camp. That's camp.
That kind of fucking camp. This is what I want.
This is like the tragic shit, but fucking amazing.
This is if you were in a movie. This is your level of Antig.
This is actually your entire drag.
This is a mood board for your drag career.
I know, I know. It is OK.
You're right. There's nothing else.
I can't do anything else. I have to give it 10.
Yes, you do. Round of applause.
I have to give it 10. It's a terrible movie.
You can't. Yeah, it's a bad movie, but fuck
me. A1 lies A1 meral and A10 lizer.
Absolutely what? What more do you want?
Do you know what I and for that reason, I'll go down to 1, like
1 meral as well. Yeah, let's just go.
It's like polar opposites. It's a beautiful example of
that, but also Pamela Anderson. Lee, fuck the last show, girl.
You had this movie and this is all you needed in that legacy.
Can't imagine being able to look back at your career and and see
yourself in this movie. Oh my God, you would, wouldn't
you? You'd probably have a wank over.
Yourself. That's what I meant.
You definitely would have a wank over yourself.
Yeah, but also imagine it. But then on the flip side,
imagine having that greatness and having to live the downfall.
That's true. You'd need a lot of therapy.
Or a lot or a lot of surgery. Yeah, Yeah, OK.
Well, that's something to think about, isn't it?
There you have it. Barbed wire is certified a Camp
Classic. Yes, it fucking is.
Yes. What do you think?
Let us know if you agree with our rating.
Have you seen barbed wire? Well, it's available for free on
Dailymotion, so go treat. Yourself or if you want more
tips, go to Amazon. Thank you for being here.
Thank you for supporting the Gay Trion.
And we'll be back with another bonus episode in in one month.
Yes, great. We love you.
Is there anything? What?
How would barbed wire finish
this off? What does she say when she drops
off the man? If it was a pleasure, I would
have charged more, which makes no sense.
It's a great motto for the gay tree.
It really is. How utterly fucking romantic.
Thank you so much. We'll be back in the year 2017.
Yeah, bye, bye Get. Away from her, you bitch.
Blasting. He was in the.
Amazon with my mom. When she was researching spiders
right before she died.