1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,720 Don't be left in the dark. Get proper understanding of life 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,880 through the Word of God. My people perish for lack of 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,760 knowledge. The Word of God is an 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,920 illumination which gives direction. 5 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,880 Remain placed as Reverend was feminine illuminates your mind 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,600 with the Word of God with all simplicity and clarity. 7 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,480 The topic is still lessons of friendship. 8 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:36,920 The focus today will be directed more to the parents in helping 9 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:41,160 their children to manage their friends. 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:48,400 But I'm glad that a lot of younger people who will soon 11 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,480 become parents are also in the house. 12 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,720 Please take notes of these instructions, take them to the 13 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,400 future and you will not regret it. 14 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,960 In the name of Jesus. I'm not saying that you will not 15 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:10,040 have personal informations that will help you, but our focus is 16 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:16,840 to put in the hands of the parents those vital informations 17 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:22,120 glean from the pages of scriptures that will help them 18 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:27,080 to guide their children to manage their friends. 19 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:35,960 Last week, part of the major emphasis, and of course that 20 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:43,720 became a prayer focus, is that our youths will not make friends 21 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:48,160 from people that are running on the wrong lane of destiny. 22 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:53,600 You recollect that Hallelujah, the same prayer that I pray for 23 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:57,040 you last week is still standing and it will work in your favor. 24 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:03,240 You will not keep the company of friends that are running on the 25 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,120 wrong lane of destiny in the name of Jesus. 26 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:13,960 Now to this focus, we'll achieve the objective of how from home 27 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:20,760 welcome become the models that will help our children to keep 28 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,600 the company of those that are running on the right lane of 29 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,480 destiny. And so we are connecting which 30 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:34,040 where we stopped last week to put in the hands of the parents 31 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,960 how they can become the model that will help their children to 32 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:45,640 keep the company of those that are running on the right lane of 33 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:49,320 destiny. The law will make your feet firm 34 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,680 on the path of righteousness. I've just prayed for a young 35 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,320 lady. I've just prayed for a young man 36 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:02,120 that the Lord will make your feet steadfast on the path of 37 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,960 righteousness in the name of Jesus. 38 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:13,240 You will run well on the path that is leading to greatness in 39 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:19,040 the name of Jesus. Now let's begin this way. 40 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:29,200 When you consider life in the way or in the manner God 41 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:36,760 designed it and He wants it to operate, you will take note that 42 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,400 life is only personal in accountability. 43 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:51,320 It is never private in practice. Life is personal in 44 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:56,000 accountability. That was why all through the 45 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:01,640 previous session, I keep on giving you the advice that 46 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:07,920 whatever you join others to do, remember that when the chiefs 47 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:13,680 are down and the consequences arrive, you will face those 48 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,279 consequences alone. You remember I mentioned that 49 00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:23,000 over and over again. That's why I said listen, but 50 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,560 filter before you follow anyone's cancer. 51 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,120 You remember I said that. Why? 52 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:36,120 Because in accountability, life is personal. 53 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:45,600 But in terms of what you will face in life, but in terms of 54 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:51,840 how you will respond to query over authorities that are above 55 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:55,720 you. So you will be the one that will 56 00:04:55,720 --> 00:05:03,720 give accounts of yourself. Then ultimately to God Almighty, 57 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,760 your creature, for which I all stand before the judgment seat 58 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,520 of Christ. And we are going to tell OK, 59 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,880 whatever we have done in the flesh. 60 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:18,920 So in accountability, life is personal. 61 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:32,000 However, in spite of that, the accountability, OK, it's only in 62 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:38,760 terms of how you will report and how you will face the 63 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:44,840 consequences of whatever you do. You cannot take life as a 64 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:52,080 completely private affair. So in practice, life is never 65 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:56,800 private. I am still trying to buttress 66 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:01,520 the fact that you can say because you don't want to keep 67 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:06,040 the wrong company and choose the option of staying away and not 68 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,680 connect with people, you will have to connect with people. 69 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:14,880 While life is only personal in accountability, it is never 70 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:21,920 private in practice. So life is a journey that is 71 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:29,720 never undertaken alone. So God did not design life as a 72 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:34,320 solo risk to be undertaken alone. 73 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,560 Life has never been a private enterprise. 74 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,320 You want to look at it from the spiritual angle. 75 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,040 Life is never a private enterprise. 76 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:50,320 You want to look at it from the social angle, from the cultural 77 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,480 angle. Life is never a private 78 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,440 enterprise. You will always need man in your 79 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,920 life. For instance, you talk about I 80 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:07,960 want to build my private house, but after building it, are you 81 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,360 the only one that will live in it? 82 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:16,440 Hello, it's my private house. It's my private business. 83 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,880 Yes, your private business. Will you manage it without the 84 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:27,480 input of all that? So your private house, you are 85 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,080 not the only one that will live in it is pointing to you that in 86 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,400 accountability, life is personal. 87 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,880 In practice, life is never private. 88 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,960 Oh, my private car, Are you the one driving yourself? 89 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:48,000 And if you are the one driving yourself, are you the mechanic 90 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:52,960 servicing it where you need to service it? 91 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:58,520 Again, addressing the fact that life is personal in 92 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,600 accountability, but never private in practice. 93 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:09,640 So God did not design life to be a solo journey to be undertaken 94 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,600 without interpersonal and corporate interaction. 95 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:20,280 So in two ways you will discover that you have reasons, OK to go 96 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:25,280 along with others at the level of interpersonal interaction or 97 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,520 at the level of corporate interaction. 98 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:34,120 Corporate interaction in terms of students in school, in terms 99 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:40,320 of workers in their place of war, in terms of dealing with 100 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,360 institutions of government. Am I talking to somebody? 101 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:50,960 So you will say no, I will go get for myself a place in the 102 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,920 wilderness and then leave alone there. 103 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,480 You don't want to have to do with the troubles that comes 104 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:05,360 with the relating with people or giving answer to institution 105 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:10,480 that demand you to pay tax, that demand you to have obtain one 106 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,720 certificate or the other before you can run your business. 107 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:19,240 And so you need to prepare yourself for that reality that 108 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,360 in practice life is never private. 109 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,480 At the interpersonal level, you will interact. 110 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,080 At the corporate level, you will interact even when you come to 111 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,080 church. It's a corporate level of 112 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,760 interaction. The idea of it I was in church 113 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,680 said was I mean never. You have to belong to a unit and 114 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,200 we have to function there and it's not going to be everything. 115 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,040 They'll be doing that unit that will please you. 116 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,400 Am I talking to somebody? That is the reality. 117 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,240 You can't escape from it. You only believe in self 118 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,720 deception. If you would say you want to 119 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:01,080 take life as a complete private enterprise is never so. 120 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:12,920 And taking us now, coming back to the family level, you will 121 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:18,160 take note that children are not to be taught to make friends. 122 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:29,800 Children warm up in for launtarily without anybody 123 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:33,720 compelling them OK with a warm up to people. 124 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:42,520 In fact, this car is not taking your toddler can just follow a 125 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,320 neighbor without you knowing what has happened. 126 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:49,280 You start to search for the for your daughter. 127 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:56,080 So children are not taught to make friends, they simply 128 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,000 respond to the natural instinct for companionship. 129 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:05,320 Children make friends freely. Do you know that they make 130 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,200 friends freely? Why? 131 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,960 Because that is the way God wired man to operate. 132 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,160 I give you the example of our Lord Jesus Christ. 133 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:21,040 There was a time when he was still a very young person. 134 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:27,320 At age 12 he was found missing, turning a pygmage to Jerusalem. 135 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,520 And what was the natural assumption of the parents put 136 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:37,640 Joseph the father and Mary the mother that made them to stay 137 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,040 for a very long time without looking for him. 138 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,880 They had their solution that was in the company of their 139 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:48,320 kingsfolk and accuters. Why? 140 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:52,560 Because it is natural for children to affiliate. 141 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:58,040 It's natural for children to warm up to others. 142 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:03,600 And if from the beginning that time, that age you don't take 143 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:08,440 load, your children may pick the wrong friend and wrong or the 144 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:13,360 wrong name of destiny. And that is why for today the 145 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,120 focus is helping your children to manage friendship. 146 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:25,720 So the thinking of mother Mary and Father Joseph when Jesus was 147 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,920 missing on that vocation of pregnant to Jerusalem was that 148 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:34,440 most probably it was among the children of their relations. 149 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,840 The Bible specially mentioned that they thought it would be in 150 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,360 the midst of their kings full. In other words, family 151 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,640 relations. And they also mention another 152 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,920 possibility. Perhaps it was in the midst of 153 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,800 their acquaintance talking about family friends. 154 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:59,920 Can we check few chapter 2? I read about 5 verses there from 155 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:07,000 verse 14. And the child grew and waxed 156 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:11,560 strong in spirit, filled with wisdom. 157 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:15,400 That child be referred to here is the Lord Jesus Christ, and 158 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:22,080 the grace of God was upon him. Now his parents went to 159 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,720 Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover, and when 160 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:31,760 he was 12 years old they went up to Salem after the custom of the 161 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,800 feast. Corporate interaction. 162 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:43,680 OK, so both the family and Jesus are to be in the company of 163 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:50,360 other people outside their immediate family because life is 164 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:56,040 not organized by God or designed by God as a private enterprise 165 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,360 for one reason or the other. You will have to be in the 166 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,240 company of others, in school, in social gathering, in the 167 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,960 corporate environment, and so on and so forth. 168 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,240 And when they are fulfilled, their days as they return. 169 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,880 The child carried behind in Jerusalem. 170 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:19,560 So it was connected at other levels different from the 171 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:25,120 immediate family level. Are we together? 172 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,720 So there is nothing you can do to keep your children from 173 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,160 making friends. So, and there is the 174 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:37,120 technicality of how to handle it is not about shouting on them 175 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:43,560 every time. No, you have to keep them on how 176 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:48,480 to interact responsibly. Am I talking to somebody? 177 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,640 And Joseph and his mother knew lot of it. 178 00:14:52,640 --> 00:15:02,440 He did it on his own volition. He did it out on his own 179 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,680 volition. So you don't sit down to them 180 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:11,520 and teach them to make friends. They do it by themselves because 181 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:15,360 it's an instinct in them, instinct for companionship. 182 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:19,000 I'm going to expand more on that as we push the teaching further. 183 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:26,440 So his mother and his father knew lot of it, but they 184 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:32,800 supposing him to have been in the company when they done him 185 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:37,920 and they sought him among their kings, folk, family rendition. 186 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,240 But Jesus has gone beyond that level. 187 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:54,400 They are thinking about hello. Some children have gone very far 188 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,520 away and the parents are not aware. 189 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,760 They are thinking the child is still at that level where they 190 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:06,280 are feeding school, feeding the child, whereas the child is 191 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:10,040 already fending for himself somewhere as far away. 192 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,840 Hello. Particularly in this digital 193 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:22,120 age, the parents are still thinking that those children 194 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:26,720 they have as the children that can be tied down by 195 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:33,240 superstitions and cultural disease, not knowing that on the 196 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:37,440 social media, the children are already living in a completely 197 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:44,040 different wide world. So why they were thinking that 198 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,760 the Lord Jesus Christ was in the midst of the King's folk and 199 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,320 kill town. He was already at another level, 200 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,080 but thank God he was on the right name of destiny. 201 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,960 He was not connected with the people that can derail him. 202 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:05,200 He was connecting with people that can bring him to the 203 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,520 understanding of the Scripture. In fact, it was very possible 204 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,960 that that was part of the place where he discovered Isaiah, 205 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:19,400 Isaiah 61 or 63, because it was shortly after chapter 2 that we 206 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,680 found him. In Chapter 4, he appeared in the 207 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:26,000 temple and he started to expand on the scripture that talked 208 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:32,680 about his purpose and destiny. So that temple encounter might 209 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,000 be the place we are connected properly to discover that 210 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:50,280 purpose. Am I talking to somebody? 211 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:58,720 AM I talking to somebody? So what they were thinking that 212 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,320 Jesus was at the level of kings, folk and acquaintances. 213 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,840 He was already a company of professors, people of far 214 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:13,720 advanced level of knowledge. As many of you that have gone 215 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:19,080 far away from the place that is right for the fulfillment of 216 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:23,440 your glorious destiny, the Lord will return you no matter how 217 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,720 far you have gone. I said the Lord will return you 218 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:41,160 in the name of Jesus. So the company you keep has a 219 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:46,960 lot of effects on the company that your childhood will keep. 220 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:53,840 So as a parent, when you are choosing your friends, you are 221 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,320 indirectly choosing friends for your children. 222 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,800 Hello. As a parents, when you are 223 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,920 choosing your own friends, you are indirectly choosing friends 224 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:13,760 for your children. So that's your college mates. 225 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,560 That is not portraying the right character. 226 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:25,880 OK must not become your intimate family friend, otherwise your 227 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:31,920 child may find may warm up to that person and begin to pick 228 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:39,760 wrong habits from that person. So when you are choosing your 229 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:44,280 friends, you are indirectly choosing friends for your 230 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:50,760 children. And So what the family that you 231 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,920 warm up to and also watch the behaviour of the children of the 232 00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,080 family you have chosen, you have chosen as your family friend. 233 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,960 Otherwise you bring your children under the wrong 234 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:15,520 influence. So vacuum for friendship is a. 235 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,400 Part or a type of the natural instinct in every man. 236 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:28,960 The vacuum, the emptiness that must be filled. 237 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:38,520 OK and the only person or category of people in society 238 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:44,520 that can feel it, our friends, is a natural instinct in every 239 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,720 man. If you are a normal man, OK, you 240 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,800 are carrying a vacuum that is seeking for friendship. 241 00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:03,320 So it is abnormal to enjoy loneliness is what Asami Church 242 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:12,040 is abnormal to enjoy loneliness? It is a disorder to be 243 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,800 comfortable doing everything alone. 244 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:22,560 Remember where we started from, that life is only personal in 245 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:29,680 accountability. It is never private in practice. 246 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:36,160 In the practice ability of life, you must connect with others. 247 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,280 It can only be personal in accountability. 248 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,760 You will give account of yourself. 249 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:47,120 Nobody will account for you. You will face the consequences 250 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:50,320 of your decisions alone. Nobody will face it with you. 251 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:56,680 That is an accountability. Life is personal, but in 252 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:03,240 practice it is never private. So for you to be comfortable 253 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,920 doing everything alone is a disorder. 254 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,000 God puts vacuum in the human system that other people must 255 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,360 occupy. So there's a vacuum in every man 256 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:24,000 that another person must occupy. And that is what makes 257 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:29,360 friendship a necessity. It's a necessity. 258 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,040 It's a necessity. It's not a must that Mister A 259 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,160 must be your friend. But you will discover that if 260 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,120 you don't need Mr. A, you will need Mr. B. 261 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:44,960 So friendship is a necessity. God put in US failings point. 262 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:51,640 Failings point that different categories of people desirable 263 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,680 for destiny fulfillment we are tacked to in our lives. 264 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,720 If you understand basic chemistry, you will know the 265 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:08,040 term failings point. OK, the reason some atoms cannot 266 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,960 stand alone, it's because they have villains. 267 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,360 They have villains points by which another one will combine. 268 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,720 Is it to make a molecule or something like that? 269 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:24,240 So in the same way, OK, every man has villains points, OK, 270 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,840 that others were attached to. For your destiny to be 271 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:33,040 gloriously fulfilled, to be optimally fulfilled, to are 272 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:39,360 better than one for they have a good reward, a good profit, a 273 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:46,240 greater benefit for their labor. So every man has fairness point, 274 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:52,080 which I also call thank you that other categories of people 275 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,200 desirable for destiny fulfillment will occupy or 276 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:03,400 attached to in your life. So you can liken a man in this 277 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,680 contest. So is Kelete that cannot 278 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,600 function without the different organs that are attached to it. 279 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:19,240 You have the eye socket OK is a vacuum is a space. 280 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:25,320 So you must put the eyeball there and the eyeball was also 281 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:31,560 carry some wire that we are attached to some other things 282 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,960 that are eventually go to your brain, your spinal cord, then 283 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:40,000 you'll be able to see. So the empty cellophane OK by 284 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,680 itself cannot function. Am I talking to somebody? 285 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,640 So different people come into your life. 286 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:53,120 They are like the different organs occupying the different 287 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:59,280 space in the skeleton called man for man to be functional. 288 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:04,280 So a man in this context can be likened to escalating that 289 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,320 cannot function without the different organs that are 290 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:11,160 attacked to eat. So the relationships that you 291 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:16,200 have are you service regularly, are the organs for your 292 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,600 efficient functionality. The relationship that you have 293 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,880 are you service properly, you service regularly. 294 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,320 They are the organs for your efficient functionality. 295 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:34,360 I pray in the name of Jesus, any organ of your destiny that is 296 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:38,680 lacking and is the reason you are smacking in life, may you 297 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,680 discover that organ in the name of Jesus. 298 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:51,280 In the name of Jesus. So every man's destiny space is 299 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:57,200 too big for him to occupy alone. That again, is very instructive 300 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,240 and I want you to take strong note of it. 301 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:09,040 Your destiny space is so big and too big for you to occupy all 302 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:17,360 alone. I mentioned the fact that yes, I 303 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,960 built my private house. You won't live there alone. 304 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,000 I have my private car. You may not be the one that 305 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,960 drives yourself. And even when you drive 306 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:29,280 yourself, when the car has issues are required to be 307 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:33,440 serviced, you are not the mechanic that will fix it no 308 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,000 matter how smart you think you are if you are not trained in 309 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:41,960 that aspect. So every man's destiny, Space is 310 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,840 too big for that man to occupy all alone. 311 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:53,000 Every man's destiny, again can be likened to a mansion with 312 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:59,800 different rooms. Your destiny can be likened to a 313 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:04,280 mansion, not just a single room apartment. 314 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,760 Hello. No matter how little you think 315 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:11,080 you have, no matter how small you think you have, no matter 316 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:16,200 how pleasant you think your background is, your destiny can 317 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:21,960 be likened to a mansion with different room. 318 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:28,120 In fact, the destiny of some people can be likened to a 319 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:37,080 skyscraper with many floors. To put it differently, every man 320 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,880 has their feelings point of attachment to different 321 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,200 categories of people at different levels. 322 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:51,160 So you have your valence point of attachment OK to different 323 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,080 categories of people at different level. 324 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:59,680 You will operate and engage at your age group level. 325 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:05,120 You operate and engage at the corporate professional level, 326 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:09,240 OK? You operate and engage and look 327 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,920 up to people that are higher than you. 328 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:16,080 Are you with me? So that's why I said you can 329 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:21,040 again liken every man's destiny space to a mansion with 330 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:25,920 different rooms and you alone cannot occupy all the rooms. 331 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:30,960 And for some, you can even liken it to a sky creeper. 332 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,280 OK, you are rising. And as you are rising, you are 333 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:43,000 connecting at different levels. So you have the fairness point 334 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:47,800 of attachment to your parents, the fairness point of attachment 335 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:52,280 to your peer group. And at this various level you 336 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,360 are picking friends. Am I talking to somebody? 337 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,320 You are picking partner. You have to pick. 338 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:02,720 We are picking companies to keep the feelings points for spouse. 339 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,160 At this stage you will have to decide who do I settle down 340 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:10,320 with? So that's why I said your 341 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,520 testing space liking to a mansion or even a skyscraper. 342 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,800 So as you are advancing horizontally and you are 343 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,880 climbing practically, you will discover that each of these 344 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,840 feelings points will be picking up. 345 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:28,880 OK people to attach with. Am I talking to somebody? 346 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,520 So the failing point of professional colleagues, the 347 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:39,960 failing point of spiritual and even professional mentors as you 348 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:44,400 are rising vertically. So it's going to amount to a 349 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,880 destiny error for any particular level of interpersonal 350 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:53,200 relationship to monopolize other other categories of 351 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:57,600 relationship. Now you know, I started with the 352 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,080 various points by which you are literally attached to your 353 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:06,120 parents. Now if Kia is not taking, some 354 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:12,040 parents can be so dominant that they now want to occupy every 355 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,280 aspect of your feelings points. And it's going to be a destiny 356 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,440 error when your parents decide to be everything to you. 357 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,480 You are so attacked to your father because your daughter 358 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,680 loves you. Are you with me? 359 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:33,600 That is not even coming to your understanding that at 22 you are 360 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,480 already of age. You should be detaching to some 361 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:40,280 degree from your father and begin to see who in life will 362 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:45,240 you settle down with. And some fathers are not even 363 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:52,800 sensitive to it until it is getting too late. 364 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,920 And then the issue of who to marry is becoming a prayer 365 00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,480 project. I pray in the name of Jesus, the 366 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,920 issue of who you will marry in life will not become a prayer 367 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,040 project. It will come easy. 368 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,880 It will come natural, and you will attack to the right person. 369 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,800 You will attack to the man running on the right lane of 370 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:21,480 destiny in the name of Jesus. Ditto for some mothers. 371 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,600 They can be so domineering in the lives of their children, OK, 372 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,120 that the children will be running in life with the 373 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,280 assumption that their mother is everything. 374 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,400 Your mother is not everything. Your mother is somebody very 375 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,640 vital, very important. OK? 376 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,400 But your mother is not your father. 377 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,400 Hello. Your mother is not what? 378 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:50,320 It's not your father. And your father is not your 379 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:54,360 mother. So it's a destiny error. 380 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,280 It's a destiny error for any particular level of 381 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:03,320 interpersonal relationship to monopolize all the categories of 382 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:08,040 relationship. And then it gets to some point, 383 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:14,480 some people get married, OK, and then they detach completely from 384 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:21,520 their parents and relations, OK, thinking that all that is needed 385 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,840 in life is to live the life of me and my husband, me and my 386 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,880 wife. It's a destiny error. 387 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:31,400 Am I talking to somebody? It's a destiny error. 388 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,800 So it amounts to destiny error for any particular level of this 389 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,400 interpersonal relationship. I have itemized to monopolize 390 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,720 other category of leadership. So parents should not monopolize 391 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:50,720 their children but guide them on how to make friends responsibly. 392 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,840 Husbands should not dominate and monopolize their wives. 393 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:01,960 Do you know that that also happened? 394 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,920 Hello, do you know that that also happened? 395 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:12,680 That the husband consulted the wife and prevent her from making 396 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,920 friends? It's not right that your wife 397 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:20,880 will keep the wrong company, but it's also not right for you to 398 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,240 prevent your wife from having friends. 399 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,800 It takes wisdom, it takes understanding. 400 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:36,120 Are you with me? It takes deliberate efforts to 401 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,760 manage the issue of company keeping OK in the race of 402 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:43,720 destiny. So husbands should not dominate 403 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,400 and monopolize their wives. And of course there are wives 404 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,000 that also dominate and monopolize their husband. 405 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,560 Yes, when you get married, you may not be able to go along with 406 00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:00,240 all the friends in your single days, but a situation whereby 407 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:04,480 all the friends of your husband before you marry you decide you 408 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:11,920 it's already a problem. Hello, what only or NRL call you 409 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,920 all or die? I'm not saying you'll be able to 410 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:20,719 go along with everyone. Am I talking to somebody? 411 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:31,600 So know this as a spouse, whether husband or wife, you 412 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,320 cannot occupy your mother's in law sport in the destiny space 413 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,080 of your spouse. Hello. 414 00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:43,920 You can't occupy your mother's in law sport in the destiny 415 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,040 space of your spouse. You can't occupy your father's 416 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,840 in law sport in destiny space or your spouse. 417 00:34:57,490 --> 00:35:03,850 However, the focus, like I mentioned from the beginning, is 418 00:35:03,850 --> 00:35:09,930 about how parents can help their children to manage friendship. 419 00:35:10,730 --> 00:35:14,240 Why? Because the first and naturally 420 00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:17,880 automatic relationship in the man's destiny space is that of 421 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:22,440 the parent. The first person a child we are 422 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:27,280 attacked to is the mother, then with time, the father. 423 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:32,160 So the first and natural automatic relationship in the 424 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,520 man's destiny space is that of the parent. 425 00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:40,200 It is now therefore the primary responsibility of the parent to 426 00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:44,720 provide guidance on the different kinds of people their 427 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:49,760 children will accommodate into the other empty space in their 428 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:54,800 destiny perimeter. We have drawn analogies OK that 429 00:35:54,800 --> 00:36:00,400 a mass destiny space can be likened to a skeleton and a 430 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:05,200 skeleton on its own cannot function without the different 431 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:09,240 organs that fill the different vacuums that are in the 432 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:12,160 skeleton. A man's destiny space can be 433 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,720 likened to a mansion with different rule. 434 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:20,440 In fact, some like skyscraper with different flaws as the 435 00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:23,960 structure is rising. Are you with me? 436 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:28,520 You'll be engaging with different categories of of 437 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,000 people. Now, as your children are 438 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:35,240 growing up under your tutelage, how do you help them to 439 00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:38,400 accommodate the right people into their destiny? 440 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:44,920 Space for the parents. You don't choose your parents. 441 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,080 Hello. If you were to choose your 442 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,680 parents, some of you we choose Donald Trump. 443 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,520 Hallelujah. You may not choose your father. 444 00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,480 OK, but you don't choose your parents. 445 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:03,400 It comes natural. However, you choose others. 446 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:10,600 And another intrigue about this issue is that you don't have to 447 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:16,240 wait until the age of maturity is attained before you choose 448 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:21,560 some of these people that for example, your pet group. 449 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:30,240 So that is why again the owners and the responsibility is on the 450 00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:41,880 parents to help their children. Your parents may at a stage as 451 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:47,480 you are growing up occupy all these videos vacuum Hello. 452 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,040 Your parents at a state may occupy all these three different 453 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,920 vacuum. Your parents is your advisor 454 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,680 where you have questions on issue of law. 455 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,360 It is your father you talk to. It's your mother you talk to. 456 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,360 You want to choose your career, OK, before you will talk to your 457 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:11,840 your pastor, I mean your teacher because your father is there, 458 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,760 you talk to your father. So at the present, the I mean at 459 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,360 this stage, the parents are required to fill all the vacuums 460 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:27,120 temporarily and also guide you to decidedly as to welcome these 461 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:31,200 other categories at the appropriate stages that they are 462 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:35,120 supposed to be brought in. Because if you don't smart up to 463 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:41,440 it, OK, your 10 year old daughter may be accommodating a 464 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:45,640 boyfriend. Are you with me? 465 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:56,560 So if you don't matter to know that the vacuum is there and the 466 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:02,720 hormones of the body, we demand for it, but the parents to smart 467 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,800 up to know that OK, why it is not yet right to be there, you 468 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:13,280 must be there. Why it is not yet right for the 469 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,680 child to experiment with that level of relationship. 470 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:20,360 You must do what you must be there because if you are not 471 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:25,000 there, you will endanger the destiny of that child. 472 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:32,920 They will experiment immaturely, OK with a level of relationship 473 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:45,460 that should be delayed. So making friends or bringing 474 00:39:45,460 --> 00:39:50,220 people into your destiny space don't wait most of the time 475 00:39:50,580 --> 00:39:53,700 until the age of maturity is attained. 476 00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:56,980 And that is why the parents must be there. 477 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:02,000 Companionship does not wait until children are fully mature 478 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:08,760 in their mind before it happens. And of course we won't say our 479 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,360 children should not make friends as toddlers. 480 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:15,960 We won't say our pre children should not make friends as 481 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:21,520 teenagers. And this is the reason a parent 482 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:26,360 presence in the life of their children's go beyond food. 483 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:31,160 Clothing and school fees. Am I talking to somebody? 484 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,960 Your presence, what you represent in the life of your 485 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:44,040 child or children, OK, goes beyond food, clothing and school 486 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,040 fees. May you understand the concept 487 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,960 of presence. I'm praying for a parent, I 488 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,440 said. May you understand the concept 489 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:55,080 of presence? As a parent, you are the 490 00:40:55,080 --> 00:41:00,080 feasible guardian agent to your child or to your children, and 491 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,920 without being overbearing, you must be there. 492 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:12,400 Without being overbearing, without being domineering, you 493 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:17,920 must be there to guide them into sources in every aspect of their 494 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:23,560 lives endeavour. What is called absenteeism, 495 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,720 which is common today. Some fathers are not there, some 496 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,640 mothers are not there. Are you with me? 497 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,880 Today people are promoting single motherhood. 498 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:39,320 Single fatherhood, OK, All of this will create absenteeism. 499 00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:42,240 The children will be at the receiving end. 500 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:48,840 So what is called absenteeism is the greatest disservice a parent 501 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,240 can do to the destiny of their children. 502 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,480 Absenteeism is the greatest disservice that you are not 503 00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,520 there, that you are not creating your presence, that you are not 504 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,200 giving your children the confidence, OK, that they can 505 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:08,480 mess up and run into your hand. Am I talking to somebody? 506 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,480 They can desire something good and you'll be there to provide. 507 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:22,440 Absenteeism is the greatest disservice you can do against 508 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:28,280 the destiny of your children. Even our heavenly Father God the 509 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,640 Lord Jesus Christ is called Emmanuel. 510 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:39,720 God is with us when you pass through waters, He said. 511 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,840 If we abandoned you to yourself, is that what you hand in the 512 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,560 Scripture? He said it will be there with 513 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,400 you. You will go through it with you. 514 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,680 Hello many of you your children fail exam and you are not there 515 00:42:53,680 --> 00:43:00,680 with them to pick up the pieces of their destiny and advance. 516 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:09,640 Are you with me? So even though I have only 517 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:14,880 Father, OK, one of the way or the responsibility put upon 518 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:20,360 himself to stand in that office as the elderly father is that 519 00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:25,000 he's always there with us. Presence, the concept of 520 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,480 presence. And the parents that doesn't 521 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,440 understand the concept of presence will lose His children. 522 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,760 So what gossip most as our Heavenly Father is to keep His 523 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:41,440 presence with us without a break at any time. 524 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:48,440 Your absence is damaging to the social, spiritual and 525 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,000 psychological development of your children. 526 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:58,560 We are not there when absence is what you visit with the destiny 527 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:02,200 of your children. You are doing a great damage to 528 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,840 the social, spiritual and psychological development of 529 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:09,120 your children. You can know it OK if you're 530 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:13,880 married to A, to A, to a wife whose father was not there. 531 00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:21,920 It will reflect if you get married to a man whose mother 532 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,560 was not there when he was growing up. 533 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:30,360 OK, with time, in fact, very quickly, you eventually discover 534 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,800 if some of you that are having issues in your marital 535 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,760 relationship, if you sit down and underline, you'll be able to 536 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:42,000 trace it to either the absence of the father or the absence of 537 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,760 the mother in the upbringing of your spouse. 538 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:48,680 Am I talking to somebody? And so whatever was wrong in 539 00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:52,000 your upbringing, you should not repeat that error in the life of 540 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:58,520 your children. Be there for the Take this to 541 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:02,440 heart. If your children are dear to 542 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:07,760 you, be there for them. If your children are precious to 543 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,120 you, be there for them. If your children are dear to 544 00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:18,000 your heart, be there for them. Children say, parents, I want to 545 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:24,440 hear you say it loudly. Dear Daddy, dear mother, they 546 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:28,560 are mummy. Be there for all because we are 547 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,560 dear to you. Are you are dear to us? 548 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:38,400 Am I talking to somebody? So if your children are dear to 549 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:45,960 you, you must be there for them. Do I stop today or we rest this 550 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,600 matter properly? I think it's wise. 551 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:52,240 We rest this matter properly so that I'm not going to be a 552 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:55,400 disconnect. How to become a friend to your 553 00:45:55,400 --> 00:46:02,720 children because you are the one that must be their first friend 554 00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:07,760 so that when the wrong one enter their life, they can decide am I 555 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:12,600 talking to somebody? You must be their first friend, 556 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:17,320 OK, A more than one friendship ought to be to them so that when 557 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,320 they engage with the wrong one, they won't settle down there. 558 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,160 They will know how to quickly disengage. 559 00:46:24,720 --> 00:46:29,960 Am I talking to somebody? So the first step to achieving 560 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:38,000 the objective of helping your children to manage friendship is 561 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,160 to make your children your friend. 562 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:48,560 Hello, make your children what's your friend? 563 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:55,000 Don't be due to Calabar in the home to your children. 564 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,960 Hello. Don't be the ever shouting 565 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:04,280 mother. Every time we get to your home, 566 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:10,840 we must find a cane by your side because that is the only way you 567 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:14,720 can check your child. You can't check them by 568 00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:17,480 communication. You have not learned the key. 569 00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:25,200 You are also not mature enough. If I was sabi alas ano joba. 570 00:47:30,720 --> 00:47:34,320 Listen to this, bring yourself down. 571 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,840 Jesus said it. Except you become like little 572 00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,600 children, you will not make evil. 573 00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:47,840 So the first point of engaging with them and connect with them 574 00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:51,000 is to bring yourself to their level. 575 00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:56,400 So make yourself their friend. I am making yourself their 576 00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:00,560 friend does not encroach into your parental rule. 577 00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,520 It does not encroach into your parental authority. 578 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:10,080 We are not saying abdicate your parental authority. 579 00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:14,160 We are not saying surrender your parental authority. 580 00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:20,720 But by coming down to their level to understand them, you 581 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,160 are enhancing your parental rule. 582 00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,040 You are also enhancing your parental authority. 583 00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:31,920 A lot of people think by sitting down even with their wife is 584 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:37,440 reducing their authority. It's not. 585 00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:44,640 So am I talking to somebody? So you must learn to employ the 586 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,840 friendship approach to manage your home. 587 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:53,040 And when you do that, that does not reduce your importance. 588 00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:59,560 I'm talking to the men now that you employ the friendship 589 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:05,200 approach to manage your room does not reduce your importance. 590 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:09,440 Hallelujah. There are sometimes I I look up 591 00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,800 to my chair and say don't call me daddy, call me Sunday and 592 00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,040 then they will laugh and I say call me Sunday. 593 00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,040 They will not want to call that. I say if you don't call me 594 00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:21,160 Sunday, then we are not we are not putting this discussion. 595 00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,600 Praise the name of the Lord. No, it's it's a lively 596 00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,000 atmosphere. Are you with me? 597 00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:32,600 It's a lively What atmosphere? But that does not give them the 598 00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:38,040 audacity to to disrespect me by the time I also come out with 599 00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:46,640 the other side. Am I talking to somebody? 600 00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:53,320 Am I talking to somebody? So when you employ the 601 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:57,600 friendship approach to manage your home, your relationship 602 00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,920 with your spouse or help with your children does not reduce 603 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:04,360 your importance. Rather, it increases your 604 00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:08,760 presence. Because you need presence, OK, 605 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:13,560 to be able to be in charge and in control of your children. 606 00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,560 That is why they will be away from home, OK? 607 00:50:16,720 --> 00:50:18,440 They will still be feeling your impact. 608 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,360 The fear you instill in them will still be there with them. 609 00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:31,920 So presence represent the greatest care a parent can offer 610 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,840 his child. Presence. 611 00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:40,040 Presence not present. A lot of you are replacing 612 00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:43,400 presence with presence. You go and buy gifts. 613 00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:47,800 Good is part of it, but your presence is more important than 614 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:55,120 the presence. So presence represents the 615 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,880 greatest care in parent and over in child. 616 00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:02,120 Presence is what children seek and find in friendship. 617 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:08,360 When a daughter lacks the presence of a parent, that 618 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:12,840 daughter can pick up all the bill of a boyfriend. 619 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:21,160 That over is presence. So what you call Kuru call me on 620 00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:28,240 on my day that you are monkey. But when the presence of the 621 00:51:28,240 --> 00:51:34,560 father is not there, OK. Even when the man is connected 622 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:39,040 with is not giving her money, OK She'll be picking the bills of 623 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,880 the boyfriend. If it's the wrong one that is 624 00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:45,440 offering her presence. Am I talking to somebody? 625 00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:55,760 So, yeah, yeah. The few fathers that are here. 626 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,400 So yeah, yeah. So yeah, yeah. 627 00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:07,520 So a daughter that lasts, the presence of our parents can pick 628 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:11,640 up all the piece of a boyfriend that offer his presence and 629 00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:16,440 nothing more. And once presence is guaranteed, 630 00:52:16,720 --> 00:52:19,320 you can no longer predict other things that may follow. 631 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,160 And as a result of the fact that the father's presence was not 632 00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:37,720 there, that is why she run into the hand of a young man, even 633 00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:41,720 when it's not a responsible one. At the end of the day, you are 634 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:45,440 going to be blaming the child and the father will be, will be, 635 00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:49,240 will be will be will be will be forming. 636 00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:55,320 What do I call it now? Or display an authority that is 637 00:52:55,320 --> 00:53:00,840 not there. What you are going to pray to 638 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:04,080 repose simple Lomas is sonu. If you are not there, your child 639 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:09,480 will get lost. So you lose your child the 640 00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:17,280 moment you see realizes that you are not there, the moment you 641 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,640 also recognizes or realizes that you're not there, you lose that 642 00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:24,960 shine. May I tell you, And it's very 643 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:29,400 prosecuted and it's nothing but the truth that there are things 644 00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:32,760 you will not know about your children, particularly the 645 00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:37,160 teenagers and young adults until you make them your friend by 646 00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:41,400 offering them your presence. There are things you will know 647 00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:46,080 them, you will know about them until you make them your friend 648 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:49,720 by offering them what your presence. 649 00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:54,840 So you cannot prevent your child by always displaying authority. 650 00:53:56,640 --> 00:54:00,320 You must create or create room for mutuality. 651 00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,600 It's not always by displaying authority, but by creating room 652 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,960 for mutuality. And the way to achieve that is 653 00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:13,400 by coming down from the high horse of dictatorship to the 654 00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:18,920 friendship level of cordiality. You come down from the iOS of 655 00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:24,480 dictatorship to occupy the friendship level of cordiality. 656 00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:27,840 And how do you know the difference? 657 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:31,360 You know the difference by the mode of communication between 658 00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:36,200 you and your children, by the mode of communication between 659 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:40,840 you and your children. As a parent, you must know when 660 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,920 to employ the different levels of communication. 661 00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:48,360 So as a parent, you communicate more by instruction and 662 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:51,240 correction. So as a parent, the 663 00:54:51,240 --> 00:54:56,280 communication mode will always be by instruction. 664 00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:59,040 Go and watch the place. Go and clean the floor. 665 00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:02,640 Go again. You didn't do it very well. 666 00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:09,800 You by instruction and what? And correction. 667 00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:15,840 But as friends to your children you communicate by discussion. 668 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:23,000 Hello. Do you know when to to switch 669 00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:26,640 from instruction and correction to discussion? 670 00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,360 When last do you discuss with your children? 671 00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:35,160 Are you with me? Can you stand afar off? 672 00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:38,600 And you are giving instruction? OK, Can you come, Sir? 673 00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:43,040 OK, well, last did you? Well, last, did you hold his 674 00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:46,400 hand? OK, how you talk? 675 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:53,520 Am I talking to somebody? So when you stand in the office 676 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:58,520 of a period in structure correction, where you stand in 677 00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,520 the office of a frame discussion, God bless you. 678 00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:10,880 Then other form of friendly interactions that are not 679 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:16,800 strictly formal. That's how you communicate as a 680 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:20,440 friend. Other platform of interaction 681 00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:26,520 that are not strictly formal playing Ludo, playing words. 682 00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:38,040 OK, some of you think. And so on and so forth. 683 00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,920 Even we pass us, we are guilty of that because we think that 684 00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:45,280 that is not spiritual. Am I talking to somebody? 685 00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:49,200 And because we think those are not spiritual, we lose our 686 00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:55,840 children. So if formality define your 687 00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:59,440 relationship with your children, absolutely. 688 00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,720 If formality define your relationship with your children 689 00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:09,120 permanently, it will create a war that will prevent them from 690 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,720 becoming your friends. If everything is former, former, 691 00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:15,280 former, former, former, former, former, former former between 692 00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:18,920 you and your children praise the name of the Lord. 693 00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:23,080 And then you get to the you get to your friend's house or you 694 00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:26,440 are visiting another family. The children of other family. 695 00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:29,720 Hey, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, daddy. And then you impress them. 696 00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:35,480 Hey, yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo. And your children never 697 00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:41,920 experienced that with you are people can celebrate your 698 00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:42,960 birthday. But when they are born. 699 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:49,480 Mojo the man Mojo. Yeah, you do Calabar to your own 700 00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,240 child. OK, but your Father Christmas to 701 00:57:52,240 --> 00:58:02,570 another person's child. So if formality define your 702 00:58:02,570 --> 00:58:06,570 relations with your children permanently or absolutely, that 703 00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:10,290 will create a wall that will prevent your children from 704 00:58:10,290 --> 00:58:12,570 warming up to you to become your friend. 705 00:58:13,090 --> 00:58:18,770 If you are too busy, you are too organized to play with your 706 00:58:18,770 --> 00:58:22,650 children, you will never be able to draw them to yourself as 707 00:58:22,650 --> 00:58:26,840 friends. My daughters that are yet 708 00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:31,640 married, my sons that are yet married, are you going with this 709 00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:35,800 into your future home? Please go with them and the Lord 710 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:39,760 will bless you in Jesus name. So don't be too busy, don't be 711 00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:44,600 too organized to play with your children because if you do, you 712 00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,880 will never be able to draw them to yourself as a friend. 713 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:53,080 So if your children cannot see element of friendship and the 714 00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:58,040 way you relate with your spouse, that's another dimension because 715 00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:01,840 you are modeling friendship to them so that when they begin to 716 00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:05,640 connect with people outside the home, they will know the proper 717 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:09,240 way to handle it. So another thing you must do is 718 00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,840 that be a friend to your spouse. So you must. 719 00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,840 I will go to discuss that more next week. 720 00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:20,440 Hello, I'm going to discuss that more next week. 721 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,160 Your wife is your wife, but more than your wife make I your best 722 00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,640 friend. Your husband is your husband, 723 00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:31,680 but more than being your husband, make him your best 724 00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:33,200 friend. OK? 725 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:37,120 You are going to gain a lot from it, but more importantly from 726 00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:41,960 the way you connect as friends in the room, as daddy and mummy, 727 00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,280 you are modelling friendship to your children. 728 00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:48,880 Am I talking to somebody? So if your children cannot see 729 00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:52,240 element of friendship in the way you relate with your spouse, it 730 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:56,560 will be impossible for them to warm up to you in a friendly 731 00:59:56,560 --> 01:00:01,120 manner. So let your home as I'm winding 732 01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:05,080 down now for us to continue this week with Jesus model of 733 01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:11,480 friendship that let your home be a home in the true sense of the 734 01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:14,840 word. Make a deliberate effort. 735 01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:19,480 To ensure that your children don't lose eagerness to come 736 01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:24,160 back home When your children goes to school, OK. 737 01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:28,680 And from school you run to football field and then you play 738 01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:33,320 the football TV and you are that the child is not coming home. 739 01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:36,760 That's the problem. The child may not be finding 740 01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:41,400 your presence enjoyable. Am I talking to somebody where 741 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:44,480 your children goes on holiday? Are you with me? 742 01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,040 I'm from I mean half holiday in school. 743 01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:51,120 I'm from school move with a friend to another. 744 01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:56,520 I mean to a friend to go and connect with the friends of the 745 01:00:56,560 --> 01:01:03,000 friend and then from the friends and back to school. 746 01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,000 You are not missing him. He's not missing you. 747 01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:11,760 While I think there there's no you can answer your child to 748 01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:15,440 return home, there's a problem at this stage. 749 01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:18,480 You call to the place the children will seek independence 750 01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,080 and be right for them to seek independence. 751 01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:23,920 But there's a stage when it is dangerous for that to happen. 752 01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:27,640 Am I talking to somebody? Am I talking to somebody? 753 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:31,520 So let your home be a home in the true sense of the word. 754 01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:34,240 Make it deliver to ensure that your children don't lose the 755 01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:39,200 Gunners to come back home. Let your home be home indeed and 756 01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:43,000 not a correctional centre that nobody wants to go to. 757 01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:46,800 You know what the correctional center is OK? 758 01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:50,440 In those days we call it prison. Abby. 759 01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,880 Today they modernize, they call it correctional center. 760 01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,960 The way some men are managing their home, they are managing 761 01:01:56,960 --> 01:01:59,000 not like a home. They are managing like a 762 01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:03,000 correctional center. God bless you in Jesus name. 763 01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:07,680 We believe you'll be blessed by the ministry of this message. 764 01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:11,200 You will do well to be the duer of all you've heard. 765 01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:15,440 For further inquiry and spiritual help, contact this 766 01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:24,760 number is 08035685882 or worship with us at Oasis of Wisdom Bible 767 01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:29,600 Church or Justin's University of Illori Teaching Hospital or KFC 768 01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,120 Illori. God bless you.