1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:07,280 So we've called this Marriage March, and it's a little joke 2 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,360 because, you know, March has been stolen by some other 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,520 things. You know, one of them was 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,800 Mustache March. And I just thought Marriage 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:20,080 March would be better than Mustache March or March Madness. 6 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,480 You know, everybody's thinking about college basketball well, 7 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:27,160 but marriage is or March is also a good time to prepare. 8 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,280 I'm in the middle of doing premarital counseling with a 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,040 couple who's going to get married at the end of April. 10 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,280 Many people are getting married in the summer. 11 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,400 I don't know if there's a specific popular time that 12 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,440 people get married. Usually it's, you know, summer 13 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:48,240 fall time frame because they maybe want to do it outside or 14 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,760 but people get married in all times of the year. 15 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:54,480 But we decided we would take the month month of March, not just 16 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,240 this year, but we want to look forward yearly kind of do a 17 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:02,680 marriage course eventually have our own conferences as well. 18 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,280 So we're starting you are a part of the the groundbreaking work 19 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:13,680 of having our own material to share for marriage mentoring or 20 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,360 marriage discipleship, marriage counseling, premarital 21 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,760 counseling. And so we do want to have 22 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,400 resources for you to use as well. 23 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:29,720 This is a 2 week study that we're going to do and my portion 24 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,240 of this Mike's doing next week. Today I'm going to talk about 25 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:40,600 the theology of marriage. So the theology of marriage is 26 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,840 really what the Bible has to say. 27 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,040 What what has God said about marriage? 28 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:53,880 And then so that we can know how we're supposed to be in our 29 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,360 marriages. And I believe I, there are three 30 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,560 key things that I think are important from the Bible. 31 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,360 I'm sorry, I'm just going to move up to this to the pulpit 32 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,320 here because I feel like I'm going to have to turn around a 33 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,800 lot. And, and I'm short and so you 34 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,520 guys can't even see me while I'm standing on the floor anyway, so 35 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:19,480 three points that I want to talk about are God's design, God's 36 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:26,200 purpose, and God's illustration for marriage. 37 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,000 Now in order to get a proper understanding of what the Bible 38 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,680 says about marriage, we have to go back to the very first 39 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:38,160 wedding ceremony and the very first marriage. 40 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,800 And so, well, let's look at our first section as we look at 41 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,200 God's design for marriage. And we'll look at Genesis 42 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:50,400 chapter 2 where God brought Adam and Eve together, the first 43 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,000 human beings in a beautiful wedding ceremony. 44 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:58,280 It says this, but for Adam, there was not found a helper fit 45 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,400 for him. So the Lord God caused a deep 46 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,000 sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept he took one of 47 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,720 his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 48 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,120 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made 49 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:17,000 into a woman and brought her to the man. 50 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:23,040 Then the man said, This is at last is bone of my bones, and 51 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,920 flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, 52 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,680 because she was taken out of man. 53 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:33,600 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold 54 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:37,800 fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 55 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:41,520 And the man and his wife, we're both naked and we're not 56 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:46,320 ashamed. So the first thing I want to 57 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:51,960 point out in God's design for marriage and and God's design 58 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:57,160 for humanity is that marriage is about one man and one woman. 59 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,360 It always has been and it always will be. 60 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:04,480 Now people will question, well, why was there polygamy allowed 61 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:10,960 in the Old Testament? And that question is easily 62 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:17,200 answered, that God never commanded that anybody should 63 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:22,280 have multiple wives, but He allowed allowed them to do that 64 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:25,800 in their sin and in His sovereignty and Providence. 65 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:30,840 He brought about His plan even in man's failing to follow God's 66 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,880 design and follow God's commandments. 67 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:37,840 So it's always been one man and one woman. 68 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,320 In fact, if you look at the New Testament, you know, it says the 69 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:46,040 qualifications for an elder is to be the husband of one wife. 70 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:51,080 So all these other religions out there that have talked about or 71 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:56,240 had polygamy involved in their religion, just know that they 72 00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:01,120 were never qualified to be a pastor and elder of a church in 73 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,320 the New Testament because they were supposed to be married to 74 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:12,000 one, one woman for life. So this also means that there 75 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,480 are only two genders. You know, I know that's not 76 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,360 necessarily a part of this, but we do need to understand that 77 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,160 God created man and woman. He didn't create any other sort 78 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,360 of human being. And there was no confusion. 79 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,000 We've always known that we were either man or woman. 80 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,320 There are physical characteristics to that. 81 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,400 There's DNA and all this stuff that we understand now in, in, 82 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,920 in science. But Simply put, there's only two 83 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:48,800 genders and God brought them together on purpose, which not 84 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,960 only means that there's a one man and a one woman, but in this 85 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:58,920 passage you see that it says that they shall become one 86 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:03,160 flesh. You see man and woman when they 87 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:08,120 come together in marriage, it's a symbolism and of of two 88 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,440 becoming one. And and part of that is 89 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,640 intimacy. And we'll get to intimacy later. 90 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:18,360 But this this oneness that is pictured when men and women come 91 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:25,520 together as they are physically and literally one at some points 92 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,440 in time. But spiritually there's a a 93 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:34,560 oneness to men and women as well that also is symbolic of God who 94 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,360 is 3 in one Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 95 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:45,920 We are not triune, but when God said let us make man in our own 96 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,520 image, there are several things that are implied in that. 97 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:54,600 None of it is that we, we look like God physically, but 98 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,680 spiritually speaking, we have some of the characteristics and, 99 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:03,920 and, and things that God has. We share some of the same 100 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,120 attributes. They're called communicable 101 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:10,920 attributes, by the way. So in God's design, there is one 102 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:15,120 man, one woman, and there's a oneness to that. 103 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:22,760 There's a beauty that in this story it says that Adam, he was 104 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,560 alone. He was all by himself. 105 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:31,640 If you go back to the earlier portions of this story, it's 106 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,400 said that he was allowed to name all the animals before woman 107 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,160 ever came about, but it said that there were it was there was 108 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:45,600 no help or fit for him. And so God decides says that 109 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,840 it's not good that man is alone and decides to take a a rib out 110 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:55,440 of his side and makes it into woman into even then he brings 111 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,240 them together. And the oneness in our marriage 112 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:04,320 points to a completion that happens when we do get married. 113 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:13,120 We're not necessarily the fullest human being until we 114 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,600 have a partner. And that oneness is is a part of 115 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,720 God's design. Now I have to say this, that 116 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:26,120 while I believe that a majority of the population should be 117 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,680 married, there is something called singleness in the Bible 118 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,240 as well. Some people are called to be 119 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,679 single and single for the rest of their lives, to devote their 120 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,159 lives to the work of the Lord, and that's a good thing. 121 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,679 But that is not normative. That's the exception to the 122 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,400 rule. I do believe that most people 123 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:52,040 should get married. And so if it was, if it was up 124 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,680 to me, you know, when, when all of our young adults, you know, 125 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:59,880 reached adulthood, you know, in our church, what we would do is 126 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,360 we would just get all the single women on one side, the single 127 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,880 men on the other side. And then we'd say find a 128 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,000 partner. Because this is going to make 129 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:11,640 you whole, a whole person. It's going to teach you a lot 130 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:18,040 about life in other cultures. By the way, they didn't, they 131 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,680 didn't, you know, do it, do it like how we do in America, you 132 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,840 know, wait so long to get married. 133 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,840 They were, in fact, paired up by their own parents, you know, So 134 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,640 it's not a bad thing to think about getting married early, 135 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,840 early on. If I would have got married 136 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:40,200 earlier, I probably would have sinned a lot less and probably a 137 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,480 lot more mature than I am further along. 138 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:46,720 But I have been married for almost 15 years coming up in 139 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,040 May. And in that marriage. 140 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:50,880 Thank you. Thank you very much. 141 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:55,720 Yeah. God has completed me. 142 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,840 You know, that's where the, the, the the word complementarian 143 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,840 comes from, by the way, Complementarian. 144 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:08,120 Everybody thinks it's COMPLIMENT. 145 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,320 That's compliment. That's to say something nice 146 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,760 about someone else. Right. 147 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:19,440 But complementarianism is spelled not with the I but with 148 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,400 the E because it means more of a completing. 149 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,840 When men and women get together, they complete. 150 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,360 You've heard that saying before. What was it not in? 151 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,080 What was that movie with Tom Cruise? 152 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,560 And what did did he say you complete me? 153 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,480 Yes. And then somebody said you had 154 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,600 me at hello. Yes. 155 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,800 But the the you complete me thing is true. 156 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,480 It is true. We are completed. 157 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:50,040 There's there's a there's something we're missing when we 158 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:54,080 are, we don't have that partnership and God's using it 159 00:10:54,080 --> 00:11:00,360 to make us a whole person. But complementarianism, let me 160 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,160 just explain that really quick because it's the word. 161 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:07,680 So that means that men and women have their different roles, OK, 162 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,920 That we don't believe that men and women are the same 163 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,200 physically. They don't have the same roles 164 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,800 in the home. They don't have the same roles 165 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,560 in the church. It doesn't mean one's greater 166 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,960 than the other. It just means that God designed 167 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:27,040 men and women to play and to be a specific person and to play a 168 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,040 specific role. Mike's going to talk about that 169 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,600 more in the end. I'm going to save questions 170 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,640 until the end. So if you have questions, please 171 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,320 ask them. But I want to do it at the end. 172 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:42,400 And so let's move on in God's design, Mark, Jesus talks about 173 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:47,880 this. Jesus quotes this section of 174 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:53,480 Scripture in trying to teach some principles about marriage. 175 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,640 And we find that in the book of Mark, Chapter 9. 176 00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:01,000 Let's go to it. It says, but from the beginning 177 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:06,560 of creation, God made them male and female, supporting that it's 178 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,800 a man and a woman. Therefore a man shall leave his 179 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,120 father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and the two shall 180 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,280 become one flesh. So they are no longer 2, but 181 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,480 one. And what? 182 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,960 Therefore God has joined together, Let not man separate. 183 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,520 And so here's what Jesus clarifies. 184 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,240 It's not like he's adding a new rule. 185 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:32,240 Divorce was always wrong in God's eyes. 186 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,080 It was never God's will and plan for divorce. 187 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,120 But what he's saying is, so you've heard this teaching and 188 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,520 let me remind you, because this is this is the portion where 189 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:47,880 Jesus talks about divorce in in the New Testament, because he's 190 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:52,120 asked by some of the Pharisees, the religious leaders, like what 191 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,040 did Moses mean when he wrote a certificate of divorce? 192 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,560 And he's saying, well, look, let's go all the way back before 193 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:02,320 Moses. Let me tell you God's design 194 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,520 here. God's design was that what God 195 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,000 has brought together the 2 become one. 196 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:17,280 Let man not separate, let not our our flesh, our desires, our 197 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:25,680 sin, our our way of thinking, our ideology come in between the 198 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,720 design that God made between man and woman. 199 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:36,320 Now, again, this is a touchy topic because many of us in this 200 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,960 room probably have experienced or in some way, shape or form 201 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,600 been affected by divorce in your family. 202 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:48,200 And, and so then the questions always is what is that of me? 203 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,920 Am I, am I living in sin right now? 204 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:55,040 And, and what I would say is divorce is a sin like all other 205 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,400 sins that God can forgive and we can move on from it. 206 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:05,120 And, and there's several places in Scripture that talk about, 207 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,600 OK, there are some caveats to that. 208 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:12,600 You know, if there's, you know, adultery, Jesus says that in the 209 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:17,480 New Testament, if, if one of the spouses is unbelieving and they 210 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,800 want to leave, then Paul says in First Corinthians, you can let 211 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:26,040 them go. And so there's, there's 212 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:30,160 abandonment or if one of the spouses passes away, then you're 213 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,360 free, you know, to go marry again. 214 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:38,520 But also, even if in sin and the other person is now married and 215 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,560 you didn't quite fully understand, you weren't fully 216 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:44,280 walking with God at the time. And, and now you're married 217 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:50,320 again, You're not living in sin. You're you're now following the 218 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,120 Lord because you're married now you can't get divorced again to 219 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,160 go remarry the person that you should have been with. 220 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,800 And that's probably we all know that that wouldn't work out 221 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:04,880 anyway, right? So let me, I just wanted to, to 222 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:11,320 just clarify that. But God's design is that it's a 223 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:16,160 lifelong commitment. God's design for marriage is 224 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:23,800 that we that's why we say till death do us part because as we 225 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,880 get later into this, it's it's symbolic again of of God's love 226 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,360 for us and God's commitment to us. 227 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,800 We are meant to stay with the same partner lifelong. 228 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,840 That's what God wants. Now I don't need I don't need to 229 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,920 keep beating the that up longer than what it is. 230 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,080 But practically speaking, this is what I've always said in, in 231 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,040 marriage counseling. And I'm just going to admit 232 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,920 right now, I, we've already done it in our marriage. 233 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,000 But, but if you're going through something right now, you're 234 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,080 married, but you've been going through fights and maybe you're, 235 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:03,080 you feel like you're at the edge, at the brink of something. 236 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,920 Let me just challenge you with this. 237 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:11,760 Never use the D word in your fights. 238 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,440 Don't use it. Don't bring it up. 239 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:20,640 Let's just say right now that that word is off limits because 240 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,600 what ends up happening when you bring that up is so much 241 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:32,240 insecurity, so much, you know, kind of shame and worry. 242 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:38,680 Like if, if, if we're supposed to be committed as Christians 243 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,520 lifelong to one another. But this thing or that thing is 244 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:47,160 causing you to question all that we've ever been through, all 245 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:50,600 that we've ever done together, and you're willing to call it 246 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,080 quits. Because now I understand it can 247 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,880 get so hard. It can get so, so dark. 248 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:01,320 It can get so troubling in marriage that that it's tempting 249 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,119 to think about that, right? And you think about it, the 250 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:09,119 temptation of what? What would life be like on my 251 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,920 own, just single, or what would life be like with with someone 252 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,119 else? I understand the temptation. 253 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:20,400 We all have that temptation. The Bible says even Jesus was 254 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,640 tempted like we are, yet without sin. 255 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:27,119 And so we've all have that temptation and it is can be 256 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,880 natural to us and our flesh, yet we have to fight. 257 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,720 This is why we're going through the theology of marriage first, 258 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:40,040 getting the, the foundation first is that God designed it 259 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:46,360 this way that it's one man, one woman for life. 260 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,560 And so I hope the person that married you made that clear. 261 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,960 Usually when I do premarital counseling, we, that's my first 262 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,840 lesson. I take people through very 263 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,480 intense. You know, people are thinking 264 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,080 it's going to just be this nice. You know, we're, we're getting 265 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,080 to know the pastor. This is going to be fun. 266 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,520 We're going to celebrate. And it's no, it's very intense. 267 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,280 Like, hey, what do you guys believe about divorce? 268 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,720 Let's talk about this. Here's what the Bible says. 269 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:23,880 Are you a Christian? Are you willing to, even when it 270 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,760 gets hard, keep this commitment to the end? 271 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,560 Because if you're not, you guys aren't married yet. 272 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,800 It's OK. You guys don't need to keep 273 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,560 dating. You don't need to keep going. 274 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,840 You're not ready for a lifelong commitment. 275 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,920 You know, when all those other things that we used to say in 276 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,000 marriage, I don't say, I don't know if we say them anymore at 277 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,520 the ceremonies. But you know, in sickness and in 278 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:53,120 health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, till 279 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:56,040 death do us part. I mean, it all is is talking 280 00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:00,840 about because sometimes the other person isn't putting in 281 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:05,960 any effort or the other person is really difficult or going 282 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:10,080 through a season of extreme immaturity or extreme sin. 283 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:16,320 Are you willing? As I said, this is all a kind of 284 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,440 an illustration which we're going to get to, to play the 285 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,560 role of Christ and bear that person's burdens and bear that 286 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:28,320 person's sin for a season. Be forgiving and gracious like 287 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,200 God is to you. If you're not willing to go 288 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:36,400 through that, then marriage might not be for you or you need 289 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,640 to understand God a little bit more. 290 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:47,520 All right, let's move on to now. God's purpose. 291 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,880 What is His purpose? That's His design. 292 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,640 Now, what's His purpose for marriage? 293 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,240 He's surely got a purpose for marriage. 294 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:59,320 Going back to Genesis 218, then the Lord God said it is not good 295 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:03,880 that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for 296 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,600 him. I mean, practically speaking, 297 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,520 and we've all been lonely. I know. 298 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:16,200 We all know what that feels like whether you're married or not. 299 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:21,480 And one of the purposes of marriage is that we would have 300 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:26,000 someone that sticks close to us. That is our best friend. 301 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:30,000 That is someone that we can talk to and share life with. 302 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,280 I've heard that it was said like you can amass all the wealth and 303 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,320 all the possessions in the world, but it means nothing if 304 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,760 you have nobody to share it with. 305 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:50,040 And I believe that to be true. And also we all need help from 306 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,440 time to time, right? I love it when my wife and I 307 00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:01,240 we're struggling with something that might not be related to the 308 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:06,120 other person, but it's something about our lives going on and we 309 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:10,680 can just come home and sit down and have a talk and I just need 310 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,320 to unload some stuff on you. How I'm feeling. 311 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:19,560 And another word for helper. It's interesting if you think 312 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:24,080 about God's design and kind of being made in the image of God. 313 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:29,360 God calls the wife the helper. And then the Holy Spirit in the 314 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,160 New Testament is called the helper. 315 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,880 The Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will 316 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,080 bring to remembrance all that I've said to you. 317 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,320 Yeah. That's the purpose of the wife. 318 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:49,480 Yeah, exactly, exactly. If you're not listening to the 319 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:54,320 Holy Spirit, the second helper can help you remember what God 320 00:21:54,320 --> 00:22:01,400 has said. Yeah, but another word for 321 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,720 helper. The the the Holy Spirit's also 322 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,960 called the counselor. The counselor. 323 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,040 And isn't it wonderful? And that doesn't mean that it's 324 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,920 just the the wife's role to be the helper or the counselor. 325 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,520 We're made in the image of God and in this oneness we get to be 326 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,000 this to one another. But again, as I was saying, it's 327 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,080 so wonderful to be able to just unload and talk. 328 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,160 And the best counselors are listeners, not talkers. 329 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,920 Honestly, the best counselors, the best sessions I've ever had 330 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,920 in counseling is when we just go there, just lay it all out. 331 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,880 I'm a verbal processor. So after I've said a lot of 332 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:47,840 stupid stuff, I start realizing it's stupid and the counselors 333 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,120 not like, not as hard on me as I am. 334 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,560 Sometimes we need someone to be a little bit, you know, 335 00:22:53,560 --> 00:23:00,160 challenging to us as well. But my wife is so encouraging to 336 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:06,120 me. She is a cheerleader of mine, 337 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,880 big supporter. And when I have anxiety, when I 338 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,480 am struggling, I love that I'll be able, I get to say even when 339 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,600 I get down from preaching on a Sunday, It's the weirdest thing. 340 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,400 I come up here prepared. I spent, you know, I kind of put 341 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,360 my heart and soul into it and and I'll go home and I'm like, 342 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:33,400 did that make any sense, honey? Like, I just feel like I don't 343 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,320 know, I failed or something. I always just get that feeling 344 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:41,240 after I'm done and she lifts me up. 345 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:49,960 She knows that I'm insecure and that I need some support. 346 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,160 And maybe she'll, and if I press her hard enough, she'll actually 347 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,760 say, I'll say, but what about this? 348 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,960 And, and, and maybe she will give me some critical feedback 349 00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,720 as well. But those both of those things 350 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:04,120 are good. And God has put that right into 351 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,720 the purpose of our marriage. Now I don't want it. 352 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,480 I don't. Let's now let's take it to the 353 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:13,520 other side and let's not overdo this helper role and, and turn 354 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,640 it into nagging, you know, or not trusting the Holy Spirit 355 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,600 that the Holy Spirit's not going to work in the other person. 356 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,560 You don't have to play the role of God in the person's life 357 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:31,440 either where where you're so impatient that their 358 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,520 immaturities, their sin or their struggles aren't coming about 359 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:38,760 that I've got to make sure that some change happens. 360 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,560 That's not any of the spouse's responsibility to do. 361 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,120 There is a a fulfilling of loneliness. 362 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:55,920 There is a a help in God's purpose for marriage and 363 00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:00,120 practically speaking, the Bible has this beautiful thing in the 364 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:04,400 book of Ecclesiastes that talks about how 2 are better than one. 365 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,160 And I usually include this in every marriage ceremony I do. 366 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,880 It was in my own I believe right? 367 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:18,840 Ephesians 4 says in verse 92 are better than one because they 368 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,640 have a good reward for their toil. 369 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,040 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him 370 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,200 who is alone when he falls, and has not another to lift him up 371 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,640 again. If two lie together, they keep 372 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,720 warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 373 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:38,280 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, 2 will 374 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:42,560 withstand him. A three fold cord is not quickly 375 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,360 broken right here. This is just so practical, 376 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:49,840 right? It makes a lot of sense. 2 are 377 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,600 better than one. Two people are stronger than 378 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:58,800 one, right? Two people can carry a heavy 379 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,720 thing up the stairs while you're moving better than one can, 380 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,760 right? Even though you bicker at each 381 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,720 other while you're doing house projects or moving things 382 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,960 around, at least you have that helper there to help you move 383 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,360 things rather than have to call a company and pay some money, 384 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,200 right? Maybe sometimes it's better to 385 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,040 pay that money and not have to get in the fight about the house 386 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,840 project. That's what we're actually 387 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:26,400 thinking about that right now. By the way, we were, you know, 388 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,000 you guys heard the story of us staining our cabinets and how 389 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,920 big of a deal that was. But we made it through and we 390 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,840 love it. And there have been times we've 391 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,440 done projects together and it was like, this is a marriage 392 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,240 building exercise. This is great. 393 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,000 We had time together. And then there's other times 394 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,720 when we did projects where it's like, OK, I see why we hire 395 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:51,040 people to do these things. Sometimes, you know, in those 396 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,640 situations, I'll just say you need to pick the one who's going 397 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,880 to be the leader, you know, the one who's going to be the 398 00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:00,680 designer, the, the, the, the one who says here's the vision for 399 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,000 it. And then the other person can 400 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,560 play the role of, of helper. And but that takes some humility 401 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:13,000 sometimes, you know, because if you're both wired that way, like 402 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:20,200 both this visionary, like I've, I've, I've overstepped sometimes 403 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:25,080 when it was my wife's project and she wanted to do it a 404 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,960 certain way, but I had opinions on it. 405 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,680 And those opinions really didn't matter. 406 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,320 Never do. OK, Well, I'm glad I'm not 407 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,560 alone. All right, Sometimes you just 408 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,000 got to let it be the project and you serve. 409 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,800 You're the number one servant right there. 410 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,040 This, that last verse, a threefold chord is not quickly 411 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,480 broken. At my my wedding ceremony, we 412 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:56,320 took this 3 stranded chord based off of this verse and it was 413 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:01,880 symbolizing our lives being braided and, and during the 414 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,840 ceremony, she I was holding it and she was braiding it and it 415 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,080 symbolized our lives in woven together. 416 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,360 And the middle strand represented Christ and we were 417 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:18,360 weaving our lives together around Christ. 418 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:25,400 And that's even stronger. Not just two, but the third 419 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:33,400 person, God himself. That can't be when you base your 420 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:40,120 marriage on God's design and have him be the purpose of your 421 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,880 marriage as well. Like He's the center of your 422 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,840 lives and so you guys are kind of headed in the same direction. 423 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,480 That will strengthen your marriage and it's not easily 424 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,160 broken. There are more purposes to 425 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:57,680 marriage. First Corinthians 72 But because 426 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,360 of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have 427 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,240 his own wife and each woman her own husband. 428 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,560 Verse 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they 429 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,200 should marry. For it is better to marry than 430 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,080 to burn with passion. I, I talked about this earlier 431 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,000 when I said, you know, I would pair up young adults, you know, 432 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,480 just let's, let's just let's get this to happen. 433 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:21,680 Let's make this happen soon. Now, I'm not bashing anyone who 434 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,440 took a long time to get married or, you know, spent several 435 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,800 years dating or, or whatever it is. 436 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,080 We, on the other hand, we got married five months after we 437 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,040 started dating. And I'll tell you what, we 438 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,880 brought a lot of baggage into the marriage. 439 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,400 We didn't quite fully know each other. 440 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,480 We committed to spending the rest of our lives knowing each 441 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,880 other, but we didn't quite know each other like we thought we 442 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,120 did. And, and we did end up, you 443 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:52,400 know, having a a lot of rough times the first many years of 444 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:56,600 our marriage. But one thing I would say, 445 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:03,120 though, is that the Bible is clear that if you struggle with 446 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,680 sexual temptation, you should get married. 447 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:12,320 It's pretty simple. Like that is one of of of God's 448 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:20,440 ways for you to end that sin. Now you shouldn't do it just for 449 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:24,840 that reason, but this should weigh in on your decision to 450 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:29,480 think about finding a partner is if you're constantly sinning 451 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:33,240 against the Lord because of your temptation to sin. 452 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,800 You see, again, God brought together men and women to 453 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,000 fulfill not just for procreation. 454 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,760 That's also a part of this, by the way, to, to fill the earth 455 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,240 and populate. But he, he, he made intimacy, he 456 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:55,280 made sex a good thing, pleasurable so that we would 457 00:30:55,280 --> 00:31:01,160 procreate, but also so that we would have a fulfillment in one 458 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:07,760 another, that we would have have joy in one another, that we 459 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:12,120 would share something so special in this relationship more than 460 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,360 any other relationship. Again, pointing back to the 461 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:20,520 oneness that I talked about of man and woman that God created. 462 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,160 It's a beautiful thing used in its proper context. 463 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:30,440 Sex is only meant in a covenant relationship between a man and a 464 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,680 wife. So only marriage and only 465 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,000 marriage between a man and a woman. 466 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:39,600 That's the only place for intimacy and sex specifically. 467 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,640 And then the other thing is holiness. 468 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,640 As I said this, this is to help you fight your sin. 469 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:54,800 But even even beyond that, even beyond just the fighting of the 470 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,360 sexual temptation, and there's so much we could talk about 471 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,120 about sex and marriage. And that's a whole other course, 472 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,320 right? We'll talk about that in the 473 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:11,360 future, but but sin in general, God gives you your spouse so 474 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:16,760 that you can start living out the commands in Scripture and 475 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,720 you can have someone to remind you when you're not. 476 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,440 As I said, like the role of the the Holy Spirit in a sense, the 477 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,600 helper, the counselor, the one who brings to remembrance all 478 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,160 that I've said to you. There's a conviction, there's an 479 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,640 accountability, there's an iron sharpening iron type of a thing 480 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,360 happening in marriage first and foremost. 481 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,560 And then there's this thing where we're following the 482 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,280 commands. Everywhere in the Bible it says 483 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:47,360 love one another. Who are you supposed to first 484 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:50,560 practice that with? Your spouse? 485 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,960 If you can't love the person closest to you, what makes you 486 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,840 think you can really love? Do the love one another's to 487 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:00,720 everyone else out there in the church. 488 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:09,880 Now it seems harder, but because because you have the affliction 489 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:14,280 and the the the the friction and the conflict and things at home. 490 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,760 But this is the command that we're supposed to love one 491 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,800 another and the spouse is supposed to be the first one you 492 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,600 love and love the most and love the best and give the most of 493 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:30,000 your love to other than God. John 1334, a new commandment I 494 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,280 give to you that you love one another just as I have loved 495 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,840 you, you also to love one another. 496 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,200 By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you 497 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:43,840 have love for one another. And everybody we always look at 498 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,360 this verse and we think, Yep, we're supposed to love each 499 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:51,400 other at church. And yes, that's that's true. 500 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,120 But who's the most important person at church you're supposed 501 00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:01,880 to love, right? She or he is included in that as 502 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,760 the number one person. You're supposed to love one 503 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:11,600 another. And so people should be able to 504 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:20,080 look at our marriages and say those people are disciples of 505 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:24,320 Jesus Christ because of how they love one another. 506 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,320 This should be, again, our goal, our purpose. 507 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,159 Our purpose is to learn how to love. 508 00:34:31,159 --> 00:34:33,719 By the way, we are selfish people. 509 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,320 You know, coming into this, we learned so much about what he 510 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,840 meant to truly love another person. 511 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,920 You don't really learn how to until you're put in that 512 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:53,480 situation because to love another person isn't to love all 513 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:57,120 the ways that you thought you were supposed to love or the way 514 00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:01,160 that you receive love. Well, I don't need this or that 515 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,400 or I don't receive love this way. 516 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:07,040 And, and so I'll just give it to them the way that I feel. 517 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,000 Is that really the greatest form of love? 518 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,600 Or is love what we see in Scripture from Jesus himself 519 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,520 sacrificial? We love the other people in our 520 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,320 life based on how they want to be loved, not how you think that 521 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:26,400 they should be loved, how they want to be loved and meeting 522 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:30,640 them where they're at. It's a sacrificial thing. 523 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:35,760 It's very easy to just go ahead and, you know, say I love people 524 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,240 with the the love that I like receiving from people for yeah, 525 00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:42,960 we should be able to do that. But we should go above and 526 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:48,160 beyond what's comfortable to the uncomfortable, and marriage 527 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:52,240 helps us learn how to do that. And that's another one of God's 528 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:55,840 purposes to teach us how to love. 529 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,040 Now I want to move on then to the last thing. 530 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:04,520 What does marriage represent? Well, it's an illustration as 531 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:08,160 I've said and I've alluded to. We'll go to Ephesians 5. 532 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:13,840 It says in verse 22, why submit to your own husbands as to the 533 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:18,080 Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ as 534 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,560 head of the church, his his body and his him himself its savior. 535 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:25,040 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wife submit in 536 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,880 everything to your husband's. Now next week Mike's going to 537 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:34,000 dig into the practical and roles and responsibilities of this 538 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:39,480 verse among several others. But the point I want to use this 539 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:46,960 verse today is to say that God's illustration for marriage is 540 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:52,520 about our relationship with God. It's the gospel. 541 00:36:53,360 --> 00:37:00,240 It's Jesus Christ has come and, and and set apart and committed 542 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:05,800 to a certain group of people who are by faith committed to him. 543 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:12,360 We, our marriages represent the relationship that we have with 544 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,640 Jesus. It's the, the, the gospel. 545 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:21,120 That's why you see in this the as to the Lord Christ is the 546 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:25,000 head of the church himself, its savior. 547 00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:29,440 As the church submits to Christ, wives submit to their husbands. 548 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,800 So again, it's this church Christ thing. 549 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:38,720 OK, so so wives are to be, you know, submissive because that's 550 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:42,640 what we are to the Lord in our relationships. 551 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,720 He's our our Lord. We love him, Christ is our head, 552 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:54,720 Christ is our Savior. And then, you know, it goes on, 553 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,360 says husbands. Then love your wives as Christ 554 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,960 loved the church. He gave himself up for her that 555 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:06,040 he might sanctify her, having clenched her by the washing of 556 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,720 water with the Word, so that he might present the Church to 557 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,600 himself in splendor, without any spot or wrinkle, or any such 558 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,200 thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 559 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:18,800 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own 560 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,840 bodies. He who loves his wife loves 561 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:26,600 himself. So we talked about the wife 562 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:30,480 representing the Church. The husband now represents 563 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:34,480 Christ's love. And so back we looked at that. 564 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,040 The whole world will know we're the disciples of Christ by how 565 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,120 we love one another. Well, they will also know who we 566 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:45,840 are, or they'll maybe even be pointed to the gospel by how we 567 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:50,600 love and submit to one another. Because the relationship of 568 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:57,560 marriage is an illustration of Christ and his bride, the 569 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,920 Church. The the husband is supposed to 570 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:06,960 be sacrificial like Christ, loving without expecting 571 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:11,760 anything in return, helping to disciple through the Word, 572 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:21,320 cherishing and honoring, loving. And it goes on to say, For no 573 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,160 one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes that 574 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:28,240 Christ does the Church because we are members of His body. 575 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,320 Therefore we come back full circle to where we started in 576 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,960 the book of Genesis that's been quoted several times. 577 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,920 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to 578 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,200 his wife. The two shall become one flesh. 579 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:47,720 This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to 580 00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:50,280 Christ and the Church. However, let each one of you 581 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,720 love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she 582 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:57,920 respects her husband. Now quickly on verse 33, there's 583 00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,320 a whole book and kind of ideology written on this idea 584 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,920 that men are wired for respect, women are wired for love, and if 585 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:07,800 we would get that, we might be able to have better marriages. 586 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:12,600 Take with that what you will, but this whole passage that we 587 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:17,280 always use for marriage is really not talking about 588 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,360 marriage as the number one thing in the passage. 589 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,440 It's talking about Christ and the church. 590 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,600 It's talking about the gospel, this mystery. 591 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,960 Refers to Christ in the church. I love how the NLT uses it. 592 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:35,960 It says this is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the 593 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:39,120 way Christ and the church are one. 594 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:49,600 We are living examples of our faith in our marriages. 595 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:56,320 Our marriages are so important to God that he designed it right 596 00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:02,680 into it that we would represent Christianity, that we would 597 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:07,880 represent the gospel, that we would represent the love of God 598 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:12,600 right in our relationships, in this oneness that we have. 599 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:17,280 We represent God in his, his, his character, in his nature, in 600 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:21,920 the the Tri unity, we represent his, his character and nature. 601 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:26,160 In his love, we represent his love for us. 602 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:30,120 We're a walking billboard and not just by ourselves. 603 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:33,440 We all know that as Christians by ourselves, yes we are to 604 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:38,360 represent Christ, but specifically in your marriage 605 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:43,280 together. You're supposed to be walking 606 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:48,520 together to present the gospel to the world. 607 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:57,800 But you have to 1st recognize this in your own heart to be 608 00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,760 able to be able to, to represent it in the first place. 609 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,760 You, you need to in your own heart, have an understanding 610 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,480 through your marriage. Just like we say in parenting, 611 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:11,440 when we have that child, our first child, we, we start to 612 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,040 realize, oh, now I know the love of God, 'cause I'll never leave 613 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:18,120 this child nor forsake them. And, and even though they 614 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,040 abandoned me, I will, I will always, you know, go back for 615 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,240 them. I love them unconditionally. 616 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:31,360 We say that about parenting, but what about marriage really? 617 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,520 I mean, how often have we got mixed up in our own families 618 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:41,080 and, and, and made the the child parent relationship more 619 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:46,920 important, more gracious, more gospel centered than the 620 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:52,560 marriage, than our marriages. Our marriages are the most 621 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:56,960 important relationship on earth. We are not one with our kids. 622 00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,080 We need to understand that we don't have this oneness 623 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,480 relationship with our children. It's only with the spouse. 624 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:10,760 So we need to make sure to put those relationships in their 625 00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:16,400 proper place and not even let the kids come in between that. 626 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:21,640 It is holy to the Lord. It is holy because it is His 627 00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:28,760 illustration that He wants to keep ever present in our minds. 628 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,880 We as the Church are the bride of Christ, and we together as 629 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,960 men and women are the bride of Christ, and we together 630 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:41,080 represent that beautiful relationship. 631 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:50,520 Let me pray for you guys, Father, oh Lord, today I'm 632 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:58,200 preaching on in service demonic activity and how the enemy tries 633 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:03,840 to come and take its toll on earth and to thwart the plan of 634 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:08,480 God and make it miserable for us, Father. 635 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:14,960 And we know that he is a strategist and one of his great 636 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:18,720 strategies against the church is to separate this illustration, 637 00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:23,800 this this relationship of Christians in the world. 638 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,640 Satan wants to attack our marriages. 639 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,680 And I just pray against that. Lord, in the name of Jesus, I 640 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:37,640 pray, Father, that you would protect us, deliver us from evil 641 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,400 and temptation, and not just from him. 642 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:46,080 Then also I switched that to our own hearts. 643 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,920 We have evil in our own hearts, even as Christians. 644 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:54,560 We're not, it hasn't been fully eradicated out of our our nature 645 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,160 and our being. And so we still live by the 646 00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,400 flesh. We still live by selfishness and 647 00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:03,280 we forget to follow your ways and your word and to love the 648 00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:06,400 way that you've said. And so, Father, I pray that 649 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:10,200 first you'd forgive us for the sin in our marriage, that you 650 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:15,240 would forgive us for not following your commands and for 651 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:20,200 not knowing or not remembering how important this is to you. 652 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,680 Pray that you would strengthen these marriages here today and 653 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,600 the marriages that that aren't in this room, but are 654 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,200 represented at our church. Father, I pray that you'd bring 655 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:36,200 about a a special blessing that starts today and moves on Lord 656 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:41,080 through the rest of their lives. That they would put one another 657 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:47,040 1st as they center their lives around you and that they would 658 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,280 Father just follow your design and bring you glory. 659 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,360 I pray in Jesus name, Amen.