I got fired after insulting the owner's disabled daughter.
Although my work performance has been praised, my boss decided I
wasn't a good fit. This happened on Friday.
I've been drowning my sorrows all weekend dreading the fact I
have to start looking for a new job.
Explaining why I got fired from my old job is going to be fun.
I'm typing it up here to try and organize my thoughts in my head
because right now it's all a mess.
I had been with the company for three months and was still on
orientation. My job was sales slash
advertising. As the new guy, I was given
existing accounts to manage, which consisted of providing
customer service and convincing my clients to spend more money
on advertising. All of these accounts already
had their ad campaigns done, and if they wanted something new,
the account was transferred to a senior account manager who would
work with our advertising guys to put something together for
the customer. Eventually I hoped to have that
job, but I had to pay my dues by proving I could maintain
existing accounts and convince them to spend more money first.
Everything was going great until last week when we were scheduled
to have our quarterly retreat. Since we were the main regional
office in the area, all of the employees from the satellite
locations came to our office for the retreat.
The owner of the company rarely visits our office.
He's been overseeing the setup of a new satellite office for
the last year according to my Co workers.
But he was there for the retreat, as was his disabled
daughter Amy. Not her real name for the sake
of privacy. One of my Co workers told me Amy
works at one of the satellite offices and I probably wouldn't
have much interaction with her but I should be nice.
That seemed like a no brainer. I'm nice to everyone regardless.
I won't claim to be an expert on Amy's disability, but it seemed
like she had childlike mannerisms and struggled with
expressing herself. She also had some problems with
motor skills. I'll describe the only
interaction I had with her prior to the incident.
I went to refill my coffee and Amy was in front of me getting
her coffee. I watched her struggle with
getting condiments at it and putting the lid on, so I
politely asked if she needed any help.
She thanked me, said she did, and let me finish making it.
While I was making it, she said she hated coffee, but her dad
made her drink it because she had to, in a loud voice, always
alert. I smiled, said that was
definitely important and handed her the cup.
She thanked me again and went back to the office her dad was
using where she had been most of the day.
I felt like I had been a Good Samaritan and went on my way.
Most of the retreat is team building exercises.
Prior to the incident, Amy only participated in the puzzle race
where groups put puzzles together without the box art to
see which team could finish faster.
Amy wasn't in my group, so I didn't have any interaction with
her there. Neither of our teams won the big
event and the one that everyone seemed the most excited for was
the last activity of the day. Our boss gave us a list of
potential clients. We were supposed to select three
as a group and put together something to attract the
customer. We were told we would be judged
on our creativity. My group explained that we could
do pictures, slogans, jingles, whatever we wanted.
Each person expected to work on one individually, then work with
their group to Polish it up before it was presented to
everyone. It was kind of a big deal
because at previous retreats there would be clients on the
list. The owner was already close to
bringing on board, and if you impress the owner, you might
just land that account. I went with a Jingle, rhymed a
few words and recorded it. It was silly, but fit the brand.
My group gave me some pointers, we made some improvements, and I
recorded the final product for submission.
I helped my team with their projects until it was time to
turn everything in. After everything was turned in,
we gathered in the big conference room to critique each
other. The owner went through them one
by one. If it was a picture or
storyboard, he'd put it up, read it, and we'd make comments, good
or bad. There were some that were great,
which drew a lot of compliments, and some that were really bad,
which we laughed about. As a group, you could tell the
senior account managers didn't care much about the exercise or
put much effort into their pitches.
Nobody seemed to get upset or offended, regardless of the
feedback. When my Jingle was played, it
got a lot of comments, not all of them good, and I took the
feedback with a smile. After getting my feedback, I
felt a little more comfortable about sharing my thoughts on
other presentations. I gave what I thought was
valuable feedback to a few products, laughed at a couple
others, and then a rather crude drawing was put up for the exact
same company I had chosen. I immediately joked that well,
at least my Jingle was better than that, did a three-year old
draw it, and laughed to absolute silence.
I was really confused because plenty of people had made jokes
and everyone laughed. Instead.
A few people looked at me like I was disgusting and the owner
said well if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to
yourself. Maybe.
Then my boss scooted down to where I was sitting and told me
I needed to go to my desk now. I noticed as I was gathering my
things that the owner's daughter was red faced and starting to
tear up. The team building exercise was
over for me. I went back to my desk and it
began to sink in that the drawing must have been drawn by
the owner's daughter. There was no warning or
anything. The owner didn't reveal who put
together what we were looking at until after a few critiques.
Maybe I should have known everyone was joking and having
fun up to that point. Someone else had a pretty bad
drawing that got laughed at. Either way, I felt awful.
As soon as the event was over, I approached my boss to apologize.
He told me to wait for him in his office.
Long story short, I was fired. My boss said since I was still
on orientation, he had decided I wasn't a good fit for the
company so it was better to let me go.
Now he didn't outright say I was being fired for making fun of
her drawing, but that's literally the only thing that
I've ever gotten in trouble for. My work up until that point had
been praised. I didn't get much time to
process it because my boss had already called security, who
showed up fairly quickly and escorted me to my desk to gather
my things before escorting me out of the building.
An hour later, I got a call from one of my former teammates who
asked if I wanted to join the team for a drink one last time.
They needed it after the retreat and felt bad that they didn't
warn me. I wasn't feeling up for it, but
I wanted to try and make sense of the whole situation so I went
to the bar. In the back of my mind I was
thinking that since I'm about to start looking for a new job, a
few references from former Co workers wouldn't be bad since I
definitely won't be getting one from my boss or the owner of the
company. After everything that happened,
the team explained that Amy comes to all of these retreats
and she always does some crude drawing like that.
Everyone just sort of knows to say nice things about it and
move on. One of my teammates said that
once you've seen one of her drawings, you know what to look
for. Well, I didn't, and nobody
warned me. I started to get pretty upset
that this was a known thing and everyone knew but me.
But what could I do? I had already fucked up and it
cost me my job. The team also shared more about
Amy. Apparently she works at one of
the satellite offices but doesn't really do anything.
The people in charge of the office try to come up with stuff
for her to do because she gets upset when she's bored.
The team said the way the people who worked there described it,
they were basically her babysitter so she wouldn't
bother her dad all day when he spent most of his time there.
And after he moved on to establish the new satellite
office, he didn't take Amy with him because she liked all the
friends she had at that office. They also said that her dad had
harassed a few single guys at the office to take her on dates,
which seemed pretty damn HR inappropriate, but he does own
the company. My team said Amy desperately
wants a boyfriend and wants to get married, which she talks
about all the time. The consensus seemed to be that
there's no way she actually understands how relationships or
marriage works, and her dad probably put this idea in her
head to begin with. One of my team mates joked that
it wasn't a bad deal because whoever married her would
inherit the company since she is the old man's only kid.
I wasn't really in the mood for jokes at that point after losing
my job over 1, so I told them I needed to go.
The only good thing is my former team members did say they would
gladly give me a reference if I needed it since they felt so bad
about not telling me about the Amy's situation to begin with.
Oh, and the cherry on top? Amy sent me a Facebook friend
request over the weekend. I haven't accepted it.
I already upset her and it cost me my job.
Part of me wants to accept it, apologize, and block her, but
I'm not sure I'm ready for that either.
I'm going to take a few days to get myself together and then get
my resume out there. EDIT After reading all of the
replies, including quite a few DMS and talking with a close
friend, I've decided that I'm going to accept the friend
request. I'll do an update if there's any
sort of conversation. I plan to open with an apology.
If she replies, great. If she doesn't, then at least I
will have a clear conscience knowing I've done the right
thing. Update If you saw my first post,
you know that I got fired because I accidentally made a
joke at the expense of the company owners disabled daughter
Amy. During the last team building
event of the day. We were pitching ideas for
accounts which included everything from jingles, my
pitch, to storyboards to slogans to drawings.
A lot of senior account managers were phoning it in and people
were making jokes about their work which had a lot of people
laughing. I got some jokes about my pitch
and got a little overconfident. So when a crude drawing went up
for the same account I did my Jingle for, I made a joke about
it. The joke was, well at least my
Jingle was better than that. Did a three-year old draw it?
My joke was met with stone cold silence and a very negative
reaction from the owner of the company.
What my Co workers had failed to tell me was that Amy usually
submits A crude drawing which is a lot of work for her due to her
issues and everyone knows to say a few nice things and move on.
I was new and wasn't informed so my ignorance and inappropriate
response cost me my job. After meeting with my team at a
bar to begin the process of drowning my sorrows, I got a
friend request from Amy on Facebook.
That brings us to the update. First of all, thank you to
everyone who made me laugh the first time someone joked about
me accepting the friend request. Marrying Amy and taking my
revenge by inheriting the company made me uncomfortable.
By the third time I saw it mentioned, I couldn't help but
laugh. A lot of you gave me good
advice. I appreciate those who talked
about legal action and what options I had.
Unfortunately, I was still on orientation with my company
which is like a probationary period.
During that time they can let me go for any reason.
They could fire me for wearing the wrong color socks if they
wanted. I had to sign an agreement to
get employed which stated I understood this.
There's literally nothing I can do legally.
At the end of the day, I decided to go have some drinks with a
good friend, talk things out, and see what he would do.
Dave's been my best friend since we were in elementary school.
We've probably spent more time together than some actual
brothers. Dave was firmly on the side of
accept a friend request, apologize, and clear your
conscience. Man.
I'm getting us another round of shots.
He knows me better than anyone, and he knows that the guilt
would eat me alive. I posted it here because it
bothered me. I decided to take his advice and
everyone here who pushed me for that as well, especially the
ones that DM Ed me. So that's what I did.
I accepted the friend request. I immediately messaged Amy.
I said I shouldn't have made that joke about anyone's work,
it was unprofessional and I was sorry.
It took her a while to respond but when she finally did she
thanked me for my apology but said she sent me the request
because she wanted to apologize since I lost my job over it.
I said she didn't owe me an apology and there was another
long pause before she asked if she could copy paste something
to me. I wasn't sure what it was but
said she could. She pasted a generic message but
one she had clearly spent some time on.
I don't want to type it word for word but I'll paraphrase.
Hi, my name is Amy. Please forgive me if I'm slow to
respond to you. I suffered a brain injury when I
was a little girl and it takes me a while to type things out.
There was more to it but that's the basic stuff.
I responded saying it was not a problem and she could take all
the time she needed. Amy and I ended up messaging
back and forth until almost 3:00 AM.
No, we didn't fall in love. We aren't going on a date.
I'm not going to marry her for revenge so I can take her dad's
company. However, I do think I would like
to be friends with her. Not because I feel bad for her,
but because she's a genuinely nice person and honestly,
everyone could use a few friends like that.
We spent a lot of time talking about her.
That's just the direction it went, so I asked questions since
she seemed comfortable talking about it.
Amy was in a car accident when she was a kid.
She was in the car with her mom and they were hit by a drunk
driver coming back from a birthday party for one of her
classmates. Her mom didn't make it and Amy
suffered a brain injury that impacted her motor skills.
Because it makes it difficult for her to speak and do simple
things like getting dressed, making coffee, etcetera, people
assume she's mentally challenged.
She was put in special Ed because of it but worked really
hard and graduated from high school.
She even wanted to go to college, but her dad didn't
think it was a good idea. Her life has been difficult
because it's hard for her to communicate with people.
By the time she can get a fully formed sentence out, the
conversation is over. She can type slowly, but most
people don't want to type when they're face to face.
She even admitted that when she's not at work, she will
sometimes carry a tablet and pretend she's mute because
that's just easier. We eventually circled back to
the drawing and my terrible response to it.
She wasn't that offended by my response because she assumed I
didn't know. She got upset primarily because
she knew all hell was about to break loose and she had no way
to communicate with anyone. She was so upset when she found
out I got fired and tried to talk to her dad but he wouldn't
listen to her. She's fully aware that a lot of
people at the company just pretend to be nice to her
because she's the owner's daughter, but she does have a
few friends at the satellite office where she works who
better understand her disability.
She gets frustrated because she can't truly contribute anything,
but is happy when they are able to find busy work for her to do.
It might take her all day to do something another person could
do in a couple of hours, but it's better than sitting around
bored all day. She knows she's a burden and a
bother to her dad when he's around, but he's her dad and she
loves him. She wishes every single day she
was a daughter he could be proud of rather than a burden.
She tries talking to him via emails and text messages, but he
usually doesn't respond. If they're in the same location,
he'll just walk over and respond verbally, which is frustrating
because it becomes A1 sided discussion with her unable to do
anything but give simple one word answers like yes or no.
She also thanked me again for helping with her coffee.
She said that when she was younger she tried to do
everything by herself and would get mad when people helped her,
but now she's learned to appreciate the few who do.
Most just stand there and look away, pretending to patiently
wait for her to do it on her own.
It was getting late for both of us at that point.
Really late. It takes her a long time to
respond to messages. There's misspellings.
I get why someone would assume she's mentally challenged.
I myself referred to her in my first post as having childlike
mannerisms, which was a misunderstanding on my part.
When she tries to force words quickly or emphasize something,
she gets really loud, which makes her sound like an excited
toddler rather than an adult trying to have a conversation.
We ended our talk last night, agreeing to talk again sometime.
She asked if I had watched the first episode of House of Dragon
yet, which I have, and she asked if I'd like to talk about it.
After she watched it. I told her I'd love to, so
that's it. That's the update.
Sorry to those who expected me to steal her dad's company, I'm
definitely not doing that. Talking to Amy did make me feel
a lot better though. I don't know how I'm going to
handle the whole firing thing at my next interview, but a few of
you suggested I just leave a gap on my resume and I may just do
that. I doubt there will be any future
updates, but at least this has a happier ending than my first
post. TLDR since a few asked for it in
my first post. I lost my job but I may have
gained a friend. Comment by OPU slash fluster
flux. Hey everyone, I am the original
OP Someone linked me to this and I'm blown away by all the
positive comments here. I guess I can give you a small
update since so many people have read what I expected to be a
throwaway confession post to help me organize my thoughts
after having my life upended due to what I perceived as a joke
but was actually quite unprofessional on my part.
As many have recommended, in my next job, I won't open my mouth
unless I have something positive to say.
Regardless of what others are saying, that lesson is learned.
So on to the small update. I talked with Amy again last
night, She loved House of Dragon.
We talked about a few characters and Amy picked up some things I
didn't pick up myself. So I'm going to have to re watch
the first episode at some point. I wasn't really in the right
headspace the first time I watched it anyway due to
everything that happened. Thank you for watching.