Hello world, welcome to my Sister Wives podcast.
I'm Chris. And I'm Allie, we're long time
friends who had no idea we were both watching the TLC trainwreck
reality show Sister Wives. Join us as we rewatch Sister
Wives, maybe have a drink or two, and share what useless
information and insights we can provide.
Listen to us two deadbeat losers judge the Brown family.
That's us all right. See you on the.
Flip side. What does the nanny do?
OK, so we're done. Goodbye.
You. Shut it off.
Do not twist my words. Do not make me a victim.
Sweetie, just look at the mountain.
That's what you saw that day. Just the knife and the kidneys
over all these years and the sacrifices that I made to love
you. Season 1 episode 9 of Sister
Wives, the honeymoon special. I was hoping to start with one
tidbit from Becoming Sister Wives, which is the book that
you have not read And I have read and I'm not sure there's
some more things about this book and I don't know how I feel like
we'll incorporate it into the podcast some way.
But one thing I wanted to point out, well, given that this
episode is about Codeine Robyn's honeymoon, her first marriage.
OK, so Robyn claims in this book to have been with her ex-husband
for they were married for 7 1/2 years, she says, and then
separated for 1 1/2 years. So my assumption is that she was
legally married to him for nine years.
But what's weird is that in the in the show and in this book,
like there's no details about this husband.
There's no details about what's horrible about the story, why
he's such a bad dad, why he was such a bad husband, all these
things. And I just think it's SUS to be
with someone for 10 plus years and to have no real reason that
you can point to on why it is that your children need a new
daddy. And I don't know, I, I, I, you
know, once again, the legal department has told me not to
speculate or to say allegedly, but allegedly Robyn was married
for 10 years to a major asshole and we have no idea why.
So just throwing that out there has a little bit.
Another reason to love Robyn. Right.
Like, I think there's actually a lot of reasons that people would
keep those details private potentially, right?
Like, I don't think everybody has to like, give all the
information about that stuff to everybody, right?
But you are on a reality TV show where you are getting your
polygamist husband to adopt your children.
So it does kind of warrant a little bit of an explanation
which we are never given. Never given.
So, you know, whatever. Robyn's, she's an enigma, just
like Kody. They're both enigmas.
She's Robyning. She's.
She's Robyning OH. It's a verb now.
Yes, she's Robyning. Amen.
So for this episode, it opens with Kody and Robyn in their
honeymoon suite. So they are on their honeymoon.
Obviously they got married in the last episode.
They Kody references 10 months which is a long time to wait in
polygamy. What are your thoughts on this
ten month wait period for them? Well, first I thought it was
nice that they actually clarified the timeframe because
we have been wondering the whole season.
So it's nice that we actually know the duration of that quote
UN quote courtship. Suppose a duration.
Right. And he says that people in their
culture typically get married or court, sorry, only for like 60
to 90 days or something is more common.
And so I think it's hard to compare to what it would be like
with a non, I was going to say normal relationship, but we're
not saying normal. We're saying non polygamist
relationship. So I don't know how to compare
the differences. But they did reference it being
something along the lines of it it is hard for the otherwise
during courtship because it is kind of this like, weird interim
place, right? Like not fully submersed into
the family, but can't do all the same things.
And so, yeah, it's just like a weird dynamic for that courtship
period. So they don't usually drag it on
very long. Well, and there are theories
online and people have left comments on our very content
about how there are suspicions that they had their spiritual
wedding done before filming. And I've thought this as well,
that perhaps they actually got married before anything that
we're seeing because Kody going to Saint George for however long
on his trips, It's a little strange that someone would be
driving 5 hours to another city to stay overnight to visit
someone they're courting. I don't really know how that
goes. I mean, I don't know about long
distance courting in the polygamous culture, but there
just are some things like also questioning about the dress and
how maybe she would have worn a spiritual garb, like a something
maybe a little more than the lines of what Christine wore for
her wedding. You know, something a little
more traditional, something a little more.
Satin trash bag. Speaks speaks to their God and
their unions getting into that celestial Kingdom.
So, you know, there's just a lot of things that are hazy about
that. And at this point, based on what
we've seen, I don't trust the family and I don't trust
production enough to actually tell the truth about that.
Like we're being teed up some things that are definitely TV
show narrative. And so once again, allegedly,
they could have been married before we even started filming.
I don't know. Well, now, I think that if it
truly were to be the case, would put a lot of pieces to like some
of the awkwardness in this season.
Like there was awkwardness when they were trying to explain
these timelines and things like that.
There was awkwardness with how they explained it to the kids,
the weirdness with the dresses on the wedding day.
Right. Like all of that it would.
And maybe also explains why Robyn was alone on the morning
of her wedding day because kind of technically they were already
married and they're all just doing the song and dance for a
few months for this TV show. So like.
And Gwendolyn later talks about on an online platform that they
reshot that the scene where they're in the living room and
Kody's say the announcement. Remember the the announcement at
the beginning of the season? Gwendolyn says that that was
reshot. So what happened the first time?
Well, and when Christine was like, and sometimes these are
just things we don't talk about right now.
Yeah. Right.
We are telling our children to lie to, you know, the camera.
That's fine. Yeah.
I mean, that would explain a lot.
It would explain a lot. If we want to jump on a
conspiracy theory, this is one I'm willing to ride.
I'm going to create a series of YouTube videos about the
conspiracy theory. People will be like, wow, he
really needs a life. But at the end of the day,
there's a lot of allegedly with all, with everything we just
said, package it all in an allegedly blanket.
OK, wrap at a nice bow. So then the wives are all on the
couch doing their interviews, and they're talking about how 11
days is a long honeymoon. Janelle says she's illogically
angry. Christine corrects her.
Being like this is not illogically.
It's very logical that you would actually be upset.
And Meri talks about missing him.
Missing Kody is the hardest part.
The other wives seem to be a little less about the missing
Kody and a little bit more about the like everyday function of
their family and how you can't be gone for 11 days with your
new wife. It seemed like everyone was just
sharing, but they didn't really all have the same point of view.
Yeah, I think that sounds accurate.
I mean, I really loved Christine telling Janelle that it was not
illogical for her to feel that way, that it was perfectly
normal to feel that way. Yeah, I thought that was really
sweet of her because it's clear that they all handle all of
these situations very differently, right?
Like, and they do have different personalities, and it's not
going to be the same for everybody.
I thought it was clear that they were having a hard time with it.
They get more in depth into that like a little bit later in the
the episode too. But one of the things that I
noticed at the beginning of their couch moment was that they
all were wearing matching purple outfits.
Did you? Oh, I.
Missed. This all had on a different, it
was slightly different variations of purple, but one
would have a sweater on, one had an undershirt of purple, one had
maybe some sparklies, I don't remember, but it was funny.
They were all like matchy matchy.
I am sure it was not intentional, but it was funny.
Another moment where they were not the maids of honor.
They were not the bridesmaids. They were the advisors.
Actually cut to later in the show when Robyn and Kody then
come join them on the couch. So the three of them are in
matching purple and Robyn and Kody are both in like, Navy blue
or something. And it's like, yeah.
Interesting. And then during this interview
portion, Kody talks about how being chased and waiting builds
a relationship of trust between two people.
And you know, my take away from that is talking about the, you
know, we don't have sex, we're not intimate.
They use intimate in this show so much and it's obviously the
it's the watered down PG version of like sex or fucking or
whatever you want to say intimate.
So they're not intimate and that builds trust and a relationship
of trust, which I mean, I agree in theory.
I don't really know. I guess maybe the reason that
they have to explain it is because they were probably asked
about it by production. I mean, like, I don't know that
they necessarily would go around saying to everyone like we're
not having sex. I think it's just part of their
background and they need to be emphasizing it because they're
asked about it. Yeah.
I mean, I guess the assumption would likely be that they're not
having sex, right? Like, I don't think anybody
really thought that they potentially were.
I mean, I don't know, I have no idea, but I I mean it all like
it's funny because all the words they say, this happens multiple
times throughout this, this episode.
But like all the words they're saying are right, right.
Like trust is so important. Trust is the crown jewel.
You know, later on Robyn's like, yes, you should do all of this
stuff for your other wives. And this is so important.
It's like all the right words are there, I guess they just
don't ever seem to be or don't continue to be the right actions
down the line, right. So I'm like sure, you can say
trust is the crown jewel Kody Brown, but like you do not
continue that with your family. Like so very, very interesting.
Also, their honeymoon outfits were spectacular.
There is like one particular moment that Kody has on what
kind of pants would you call those?
The white like, not like a canvas pant, but like.
It almost, yeah. It was like linen, but not like.
A very light Beachy linen yes pant with like a blue button up.
And then Robyn had on this skirt and whatever.
Oh my gosh, they just looked like this cute trendy beach
couple living their best life. Except.
For her top was horrible. It was.
Trying to be a cute, trendy beach couple.
It didn't. They didn't succeed.
I I apologize, I was not clear. Yes.
Cause hers had like a tie underneath like in mid torso
like under the boobs and not at a cinch point.
And it was like, what the fuck are you wearing?
Like. Yeah, it was not accentuated
correctly, but worthy of a mention anyway.
And yeah, he kept saying like that spiritual bond for
eternity. He used the word serendipitous.
Serendipitous. And so, you know, I think you
can't really call things serendipitous if you seek it out
right. And like there's kind of like an
interview process for it, right? Like I don't think we can say
that was serendipitous right Now, if he tripped over Robyn at
a zoo and then married her the next day, maybe that would be
serendipitous. But and.
It's funny to hear you say serendipitous because I think of
a girl, some of the music that you would listen to in your
like, preteen teenage years. And then when we're hanging out,
you're like, this is the country music I would listen to as a
teenager. And I'm like, maybe one of the
songs is called serendipitous. I just love the language of it.
It's very kind of like, yeah, like songs from the 90s or
something. I think I mean what you're
saying is not inaccurate. However, you could also
potentially be thinking about the actual chick flick
Serendipity Could be that I likely made you watch.
That could be. It definitely has those 90s
songs in it soundtrack, right? So I think maybe we're getting a
few things mixed together there, yes.
Yeah, but it was also very on brand for the Browns to be at
least a decade behind on that. Like, it's like 2010 or 2011.
And he's like serendipity. It's like, that was a 90s thing.
Like get it together. John Cusack.
Great movie. Great movie.
Well, and Robyn did reiterate that all the wives and Kody will
be together for eternity and that God told her this.
And we touched on that on the last episode, that there's
conversations happening with these people, with God, and how
we don't hear the voices, but apparently Robyn hears the voice
and they're going to be together for eternity.
And man, don't you wish that God didn't lie to you so much?
Like, wouldn't it be nice if he ever followed through on a
single one of these promises and he's made you stop laughing at
me? Like just, it's right because
these are just self delusions that they're like, you know,
putting on God. And it's like, stop putting this
on God. Like stop putting this on the
creator. Of these, hold them accountable.
If you want to put it all on him, like eventually say dude,
you're fucked up. Like your schizophrenic voices
are not God. Like, just so you know, like, Oh
my gosh. I just can't rationalize any of
it, you know? So all right, you go.
Yeah. And then returning to the couch
with the wives discussing their honeymoons, which we've also
talked about before, where Christine was pretty much
devastated on her wedding day because it was such a nightmare
and Kody had no plans. So I thought she was playing it
pretty cool for this interview because she didn't throw them
under the bus in the way she could have.
But she references that, you know, they went on a long drive,
which I guess means your husband didn't plan anything and you
were, you know, hoping he would. And so now you're just on a long
drive, which Janelle said they did too.
They road trip to Wyoming. She said they were broke.
They were broke which they were broke.
But here's the thing I don't know about Christine's.
OK, And tell me if you have this information.
First of all, I think she said they were listening to like,
Pavarotti or something. This is something like that.
The opera, I was like, it was something classical.
I don't remember what she was this really, really long drive.
Did you ever say how long? Like are we talking just a few
hours? Because again, he didn't really
plan anything. Like Janelle does say it was a
few days, right? I think she references both 3
days and five days. Like it's unclear, but I don't.
I'm assuming I was just assuming that Christine's was hopefully
more than one day like that they drove somewhere, got a hotel.
Like it couldn't have just been an evening of driving.
I hope because it was. This really really long drive.
Yeah, without any other details, at least Janelle did say they
went to Wyoming and. Phantom of the Opera.
Phantom of the. We got, which sounds super
romantic, yeah. In my mind, it's like don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't. Like.
Wow. Very dramatic, very theatrical.
You know, code. OK, You know, Kody's a drama
queen. Oh my.
God. And then Meri, Meri, she got
sick or something, right? And so they were, like, almost
late to or almost missed their honeymoon.
They went to Jackson Hole, and then they got stuck in a
snowstorm. Yeah, like.
That they were three days behind on their plans because she was
sick. Yes.
And then they were stuck in the snow.
And I don't know, I've, I kind of glossed over her story.
It seemed a little like, I don't care.
I don't know. Now here, I guess maybe there's
two points here, 1, I don't believe that Kody and Robyn
probably like got on a plane to go to San Diego, right?
So this was kind of a road trip too.
Wouldn't you imagine that they were in his car?
Oh God, were they in his? I don't because I remember
seeing the car later after they'd returned, but I think
they might have been in a rental.
I'm not sure that they would have drove.
Maybe. Yeah, I don't remember seeing
the exterior of the car. So I'm thinking one, maybe they
did a road trip too, which could be a little more comparable.
Then it's just really maybe the location that they went to and
the time frame they were gone, right?
And maybe if they were driving there and it took a couple days
to get there in a couple days to get back, maybe that explained
the 11 days. Maybe they had a seven day, you
know, vacay and two travel days on each side still, you know,
but like, OK, then I would give him a little bit of credit for
it being something a little bit more similar than like buying
plane tickets and flying to California, which ultimately
could be what they did, right? Like I don't know, but I just
had that thought. I think that that seems likely
because the trip from or it could totally be the case
because the trip from outside of Salt Lake to San Diego would be
a good two day drive. Like you wouldn't want to try to
do it in one day. So and they do love their Rd.
trips. These this family drives across
these western half of the United States and now actually the
entire country just because they do like they are always driving
states hundreds, hundreds of miles.
Yeah, but because plane tickets for families of that size are so
expensive. Well, of course, when they're
doing family trips, but just the two of them, I mean, I'm, I'm
not quite sure. I didn't really pay attention to
the vehicle, but they're they're close for distracting enough for
me. My God, Janelle talks about how
Robyn is really getting a different guy than they did.
And it made me think of those 16 years between Christine's
marriage and Robyn's or wedding, excuse me, and Robyn's, and how
much things had changed. And you know, Janelle talks
about how Kody now takes vacations.
He's more of a mature person. Back when they got married, he
was young and they were broke and he seemed to be adverse to
it. And now he at least allows
himself to do it, even if by the end he's a wreck in thinking
about being at home, which everyone is.
It's not like that makes him special.
He's evolved, they say. He's.
Evolved. Oh, that's good.
That that word gets used a couple times in the episode I
think, which is. Sure, which I would call him a
Neanderthal, but that would be an insult to Neanderthal, so oh
gosh. Please don't.
And yeah, then Meri kind of says she she feels unimportant a
little bit like like just not or hasn't been important in the
same way as Robyn is at times and.
Yeah, it's just, it's interesting.
Some of the stuff is coming out, and not in like a terrible way,
but some of the additional honesty is happening.
Meri does talk about comparisons of them and like you're saying
to Robyn and how could they not, I think there's this thing that
Kody does where it's kind of obviously Kody's dismissive of
their feelings and what's going on.
But Meri reiterates, how could you not compare?
And literally how could you not compare if you're one of three
wives and I one of four, How would you not compare?
Like that's insane that you wouldn't.
No, I don't think even if you have the best of intentions
going into a polygamist relationship or any type of
polyamorous relationship or anything like that, I feel like,
yes, in your brain, your logical brain, you're saying, oh, I know
this is going to happen and I'm fine with that, and that's OK.
But what you don't take into consideration is the specific
people, right? Yeah, specific people can make
you react in very different ways.
And so that's unpredictable. You cannot plan for that.
And even as much as you want to say you won't care about this or
you won't care about that, you can't control how you actually
react to or feel about things like it happens.
So they're living and breathing that and going, well fuck, we do
love her and we want her here. But also like this is hard.
Yes, yeah. And more than one thing can be
true. Jumping back to Kody and Robyn
in San Diego, and Kody talks about how he thinks he looks
like a surfer dude and that they're there to surf because.
And it's just such a great alignment because it's been on
Robyn's bucket list. She's always wanted to go
surfing, okay? One clarifying point, it is not
a bucket list, it is a life list.
A life that is true. I'm putting my own vernacular on
that. Okay, so it is a life list and
she is willing to die trying because it is on her life list.
Life list? Yes, that's pretty dramatic to
go surfing. Yes, and if you're not willing
to die trying for things on your life list, what are you willing
to do? You're right, she does say that,
yeah. Which I'm wondering where she
picked up life list from. Maybe she just made it up.
No, I think she just said the wrong thing.
Oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I think she means once
again. She doesn't really know She.
Doesn't know what she. Says she's like lifeless.
If you're not willing to risk your life for your life list
then what's the point of existing?
Like shut the fuck up. Like first of all, life for your
life list is repetitive. Let's not use that.
Second of all, God, she's Robyning again.
Yes, Robyn is Robyning. Absolutely.
My response that I had written down to Kody's surfer dude nest,
which was disgusting, was in all capital letters, gross.
And I think that was one of six times I write that down
throughout the whole episode. So that was my reoccurring
theme. Gross was There was a lot of
gross shit. We've evolved since disgusting,
which I think was wouldn't the very first episode it was like,
what are you looking forward to? And you're like, it's just all
disgusting. Have we evolved though?
I mean, I feel like I'm using a less generous term.
We've lost. A few syllables just corrupts.
The sentiment is still the same. Oh, see second second right
here. Second gross at the top of this
page, flexing in the wet suit. Yes, gross.
The transition into this flex moment is a montage of Robyn and
Kody kissing and hugging and then me watching and puking.
It was disgusting. It was gross.
It really was gross, the flexing
bit. OK, so he's getting into a wet
suit and kind of like in, but then wants to pull it down.
I'm imagining it was like hot or whatever.
Then he's talking about his body and Robyn says that the wives
tell her he's always flexing in the mirror and she wondered if
it's over the top. Of course it's over the top.
I don't even know what to say about it.
Actually, one of the, when she said that the wives had said
that to her, she goes, that was one of the things they put in
the Kody Survival kit. We have the third thing now,
celery salt and something about Kody flexing.
I don't actually know where the survival part it maybe it was
just like prepare yourself you're going to have to deal
with. That maybe Meri laminated a
note. Oh my God, maybe they gave her a
mirror and said because then she did flex.
She was flexing too. Also, I will give her credit.
Her muscles looked OK. All right, you.
Know the girl's skinny? Yeah, but she flat.
Well, no, but she actually had some tone to her arms in
different places. I'm going to give her a tone
that I don't have, certainly so. But yeah, I don't know what the
actual survival tip was with that one.
So. Yeah.
How do you survive Kody? Like you will have to witness
him flexing. I mean that is maybe a survival
skill is surviving. Maybe they slitter some, you
know, melatonin under the table like, I don't know.
Here's some Saint John's port. Oh, my God.
I know, I know. Yeah.
Like, what do you give a polygamist when their husband's
a narcissist? A1 way ticket out of Utah.
Divorce. And so then we cut back to the
wives packing for a picnic, which given the size of their
family, of course it's going to be a thing.
I always get a little eye roll when they talk about the number
of people and how they have to get them all put together.
Now I am an uncle to a family with several children.
I've been around many children with parents.
I understand the concept but they really take liberty with
this concept. Like make it seem like they are
driving to another state and it's like you're going to the
park for a picnic. How could this take hours to do?
It kind of blows my mind. And that's funny because in my
mind, as I'm watching it, all I'm thinking about is I would
rather jump off a bridge than get that many kids ready to go
to a picnic. Totally so.
I Yes. I'm definitely the one without
child on this podcast. I'm actually like God bless them
for trying because I would not leave that fucking house.
Right. We're having a picnic in the
backyard, kids. Yeah.
I would not favorite moment about that though, and I think
you know it too. Janelle goes to the refrigerator
and she pulls out a red ball. Yep.
And she said I need some caffeine so I can be a good mom.
Today I was like yes girl, yes, wait until you try alcohol.
You know, like. I totally gave you the eyes at
that moment because I was like, yes, I feel like I may have
actually heard this exact sentence.
Like, I need caffeine so I can be a good mom.
Like, Yep. Amen.
It was so funny. And the teenage girls were being
sarcastic and making fun of it, which I thought was great
because it was so like, if I was 14 or 15 and my parents were
like, we're going on a picnic, I'd be like, fuck yourself in my
brain, you know? But then I'd be like, sounds
good. Actually, that didn't happen in
my We weren't going on picnics when I was 15, generally.
We didn't leave the house, OK? Yeah, when we left the house, it
was like to get in a station wagon to drive to another state
and then hate each other by the time we get back.
We didn't go on picnics. But maybe a cooler to a beach
where everybody could disperse themselves and not be seen or
heard from for hours. You know, like maybe that.
Totally, totally. I'm kidding, mom.
Well, we both grew up out in the country, so there were
opportunities to do things on our own.
I mean, I don't want to say that my family never did anything
together. We certainly did.
But yeah, we weren't. Also, there's the lens of
production. Like they got to do something
right. So like, let's go on a picnic.
Right. Again, this wasn't by choice.
Right. No, it wasn't by choice for
pretty much anyone, and the girls made that very clear.
We can't only let Robyn be the one filming right now.
We all have to be filming. So let's figure out something to
film. Yes, yes.
After Janelle grabs her Red Bull out of the fridge and we have
the very relatable moment of being a good mother through
caffeine, she says that she's unhappy with the number of days
that Kody and Robyn will be gone and that it takes away from
their already existing family. And one thing that we give
Janelle her flowers for is that she is fairly direct.
I think sometimes she omits plenty, but she just kind of
says it as it is and so she's just like, we're missing days
with Kody and I'm unhappy about it.
Yeah, she's basically like, I am mad about this and that is just
matter of fact, I am mad. And then we get to points in the
episode when they're in other interviews and she's like, you
know, I, I kind of get it, but I'm still kind of mad.
But I've really tried to let it go.
And then she gets to the point where she's like, I guess I
haven't let it go because I am still really mad about it.
Like it takes a journey. The whole yes, she.
Feels about which I enjoy seeing from Janelle because the you
know, they they typecast her they stereotype her as this
unfeeler and that's just not true.
She expresses herself in a different way, like and probably
goes through her emotions in whatever way that she does.
It doesn't mean she doesn't have them.
I'm jumping all over the place. I'm sorry, but it was the roller
coaster of an episode, right? There was a time that they were
all talking and they referred to Janelle as just not as needy as
the others in that way. Like she just wasn't as needy of
that attention. And she said, you're right, I
wasn't that. And she really wasn't.
She was independent. She did want to do her own
things. And then she just reached that
plateau and that level of like, Nope, now is when I actually
need someone and I need you. And if you can't be here for me,
then like, she's starting to realize what she does need.
And I'm so glad that she's actually saying it out loud.
And she did acknowledge a couple of times, too, how she was being
real and honest. And this is true.
And this is how their lives are. And these are the emotions they
go through. And yeah, I thought, I thought
that was great. But yeah, it was kind of like
she's pissed. And on a relatable note too,
with Janelle, like we've all experienced things where people
don't, they gloss over or they Polish or they make us sound a
certain way because we are strong or we haven't reached out
in certain ways. We aren't needy, quote UN quote
about things. And then people create these
stereotypes about us that are a little unfair because it doesn't
mean that we don't need something, It doesn't mean we
don't feel, it doesn't mean we aren't experiencing.
So I do appreciate that it seems like maybe Janelle's leaning in
a little bit to actually sharing her emotions, which is great.
Another amazing moment for me was the mothers asking all the
kids if they've used the bathroom before they leave for
this picnic. They intentionally do this with
editing. They show it so many times, like
all of the wise being like, did you go to the bathroom?
Did you use the restroom? Did you go to the bathroom?
And I love it because when I was a kid, my mother would be like,
did you use the bathroom? Did you go to the bathroom?
We're not going to stop for you. And it just is such a like
burned into my brain thing from childhood was being like, just
go fucking pissed like pee before we leave.
Well, I don't have to. I don't care.
Sit on the toilet, stand there, do whatever you need to do
because we are not stopping. And then, you know, we're, well,
they'll have bathrooms there. Where are the bathrooms?
Well, they're trees. We're going to have a picnic in
the forest. I just, I don't know, there's
something nostalgic to me about being told to use the bathroom.
My God. Listen, I still tell my teenager
to use the bathroom before we go anywhere, and sometimes he'll
say I don't have to. And I will say I really think it
would be a good idea if you did. But I think part of it is that
I've trained him a little bit because when he tells me he has
to go to the bathroom when we're driving, I do not stop
immediately. And I forget about it for
usually for at least 30 minutes. Intentionally.
Yeah. Because listen, here, you can
wait. You can, you know, So I'm not
that cruel, but kind of. I do though, actually.
She she drives for two hours and says hold it.
I mean, it's usually like 30 to 45 minutes.
Yes. Yeah, sometimes we're in the
middle of the nowhere and there's not a bathroom, so, you
know, you gotta do. Reinforcing the lesson like
literally pee before we leave does it.
As a man of a certain age, I can say that I have learned the
lesson. You pee before you leave.
I pee before I leave my 7 minute drive home right?
And then still sometimes pee when I get home.
Like, I don't know, it's just like the habit, the routine.
Exactly. 100 My favorite moment was as they were all wrangling
to go to the car, Gwendolyn comes to the front door.
Did you see this? And she comes to the front door
and she's got her like arms in the doorway and she goes last
one in the car is a loser. Oh my gosh, I do remember the
moment, but I didn't hear what she said it.
Was so cute. I was like you fucking get him.
That is great. Nobody wants to be the loser.
Loser. I don't know if it was effective
or not, but I give her huge props.
And how smart was that girl even back then?
OK, Like she knew what she was doing.
That's great. I love that.
So Gwendolyn was adorable and then Meri's getting in the car
and she goes. Such an ordeal for a stupid
little picnic. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Amen, Meri.
This is it. This is why we don't leave our
house, you know? Doing things is overrated.
Like it is an effort. So yeah, what a journey.
Returning to San Diego, My narrator voice came out.
Returning to San Diego, Kody and Robyn are at the beach and I
have to take a second to say their surfing instructor.
Oh. Girl, my inner 18 year old
discovering myself homosexual was like my radar was turned on
their surfer. My 40 year old adult woman
version was like yes please Oh my God you're a cougar.
He's young enough to be your child, Allison.
I can't tell you. I know, I know.
We're not putting it on the Internet.
Exactly. We're not doing that.
The but the the instructor, OK, so he was totally my type for
when I was younger. So now he is not my type
anymore. Clearly.
I mean, I shouldn't say clearly I'm a little too old for the
young surfer, but that like blonde hair, the tan, he was so
cute and he's doing what he likes.
Like he's young enough to still do that, but he's doing what he
loves. Like, he's showing people how to
surf. He had like, this natural thing
about him. I was like, oh, God, if I was
18, I'd be like, when I think about you, I touch myself.
Oh. How jealous do you think Kody
Brown was? Oh yeah, Kody was probably like,
Oh yeah, I got I'm one up on him, like.
That's why he was flexing the whole day, you know, not like it
was helping your case, buddy. Not like it was moving you,
moving the needle, but you know. Excuse me, Sir, we're going to
have to ask you to step out of the Hollister store.
This guys the manager like you need to leave.
Yeah, they oh, the music, the music.
Oh God, do you. It was like a like a that's
terrible like. Beach Boys, Yeah.
It was a Beach Boys. It was exactly like a Beach
Boys. It was hysterical.
I was just like, OK. And then Kody kept falling off.
Robyn kept falling off. They were terrible, of course,
terrible. And he said, I don't even care.
What did he So he only cares about being married.
He doesn't even care if he can get up on the surfboard.
It's like, you fucking liar. Yeah, you get you.
You're lucky you have this as an excuse because you certainly
care. Your big ass ego was bruised
because you think you should be able to do everything.
Like get the fuck out of here. It was running through my mind
that there is no irony that while surfing, Kody couldn't get
up. He could not get it up, he could
not do it, and afterwards had a perfectly normal explanation on
why he's just so happy to be married like.
So happy. Gross.
Yeah, I was happy Robyn wasn't successful, though.
Like legit, I was worried at one point that like, what if she
kills this? What if she gets up and is like
a surfing champion and then I watched her walk a little bit
later in the episode? I'm like, no, she's a slow
Walker. She certainly can't hop up on a
surfboard. She has less core strength than
me. And that's saying and.
That's Yeah. Like she can barely stand up
straight. No.
And then they transitioned into Kody and Robyn going to the San
Diego Wild Animal Park. Now, I thought this was an
interesting choice. And I don't know, you know,
splitting hair. Oh, I shouldn't say splitting
hairs. I don't know the production
details on this, but I thought it was a little odd that the San
Diego Zoo is literally like one of the most famous zoos on the
planet. Like San Diego Zoo is a big deal
and they're filming at the San Diego Wild Animal Park.
So I kind of thought it was funny that me, I wonder if they
didn't get permission to film at the San Diego Zoo.
But also the grounds looked great.
I mean, it looked like a literal zoo.
There were a lot of animals. There was a lot of space, there
was a lot of things going on. So I don't want to make it sound
like they were at like the Tiger King Zoo or something.
The. Tiger King Zoo.
You know, it looked like a legit place, but I also was like,
really? You're in San Diego and you went
to some other zoo interest? It's like going to Philadelphia
and being like, we're not looking at cream cheese or a
cracked bell. We're here for the nachos,
Christine. And you know, it's weird.
I also noted the music. It was like an instrumental
version of like Groove is in the heart.
Like what? Like, it was something like
that. Like, I was trying to place the
song and I was like, what is it? And that's what it was
groundbreaking. Kody Brown learned that the
animal Kingdom is a lot polygamist.
Yeah. And he just.
Full of polygamists. Couldn't believe it, couldn't
believe it. Yes yes their guide says that
there is a stud it was several females and the female cycles
align like humans and the females stick together and the
male is used for reproduction. I mean it all sounds fine to me.
I I guess I didn't connect the dots to polygamy, but.
Well, I mean, I do, but it's also like, duh.
Right. That's what happens in the
animal Kingdom. Like, duh, of course it is.
And the fact that he kind of chose to speak about his wife's
menstrual cycles, I thought was interesting.
I don't know if he really like intentionally did it or he
thought it was going to be like kind of obtuse and that people
wouldn't understand what he was talking about.
I, I don't know. That seemed a lot for me.
It's totally accurate. I mean 100% accurate.
That likely his wives cycles a line and that shit is crazy, but
it does happen. But the fact that he had the
balls to kind of talk about it I thought was interesting.
I don't know if we get a wife reaction to that anytime down
the line. I doubt that we do, but.
No, I and I'm even. Yeah, I'm not quite sure.
Yeah. So then we returned to the park
now. OK.
And I, we should have started off the episode by saying this.
We discussed it right before recording.
This episode's all over the place like they are, even though
there is a honeymoon and a picnic and then a wrap up at the
end, that doesn't sound like a lot, but they are back and forth
all over the place. So if you're listening to us and
you're going like, what? Why are they talking about
somebody? Why are they back and forth so
much? It's because literally the
episode was like. San Diego, Utah.
San Diego, Utah, Like they would show like a sentence or two and
then be back to the previous scene.
It was all over the place. How many cocktails have they
had? My God, you know.
The editors. Yeah, no us like.
Us all right? Like how drunk are they?
How drunk are they? Why can't they follow a train of
thought? That's because that's how the
show was. Yes, the show was all over the
place. So we returned to the park where
the picnic is happening. And my the first thing that I
noticed was that Meri hands Isabel a plastic bag out of the
car, and she says something like it has knives to be careful.
And I'm like, why on God's green earth are you putting sharp
knives in a plastic bag and then telling the child to be careful?
It just reminded me of this family's kind of like ineptness
with basic things, like there's no way everything they brought
was in plastic bags. Why wouldn't you even put it in
a paper bag? Even in a tote?
I mean, I Yeah, like a canvas bag.
I don't understand it. Don't.
Chris, they don't have canvas bags, they have grocery bags.
Well, they love their plastic bags.
These people love contributing to a landfill and that is a
topic for a whole nother time. But literally like we put the
sharp knives in plastic bags. Like God, just dumb.
Just dumb. I didn't even analyze the bag
situation at all. I was more like, yeah, sure,
hand that to the kid. Like not even this the bag
specific, just like maybe the adults would carry that.
Like, I would not send my child with that bag because I know
exactly what he's going to fucking do with it, you know?
Well, Isabel was literally like under 10, like a small child.
Here's a bag of knives. Be careful even though there's
other adults around. Just whatever.
And Meri also points out that the kids have all been accepting
of each other with the merging of their families, that Robyn's
kids are fitting in like a glove.
And I believe her. Yeah, it seemed almost
believable up until she called their kids the original kids.
And I just thought that was an interesting way to, you know,
and she's not. Well, no, I.
Yeah, yeah. Like, no, that you that's not
the right thing to say. Yeah, it is like other ring
Robyn's kids. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, and Robyn's kids have always been kids.
They just weren't in that family.
But like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah.
I don't think she meant it negatively.
It was said positively. It just rubbed me the wrong way.
Well, it's one of those things where it's like those are the
kind of things that happened that do make people feel
ostracized in circumstances. That's something that was
discussed in our last episode about Robyn being made to feel
other than throughout the entire time.
And why? What part does that have to do
with her behavior and the way that she behaves?
And if her kids are othered in these micro aggressive, I don't
know, micro ways, then you know that that says something.
It says something. Like throwing the original kids
off the cuff like that, like, I don't know.
That's a yeah. Anyway, it's a thing, not a feel
good term. I didn't think.
Yeah. Then they go back to the
honeymoon. Yeah.
And I'm unclear if this was at the.
Oh, it was still at the zoo. Yes, yes, yes.
It was still at the zoo because they did a zip line.
Flight Line flight. Line was.
What it's called? A zip line over the park.
They're going to be going 40 mph at some point, is what they say.
Yes, yes, and then Kody is standing up there on this.
Oh my God, here's another girl. Oh no, I actually didn't have
gross written down here if that's coming later, but I
gagged a little when I was about to say it so it'll take a lot to
scare me. Ha ha ha, Kody Brown.
Like God you fucking loser, stop it.
I have 4 wives, nothing scares me but poverty.
Oh, only fear is poverty, Yeah. This is where that quote
originates, and it's funny because 15 years later people
are still using it to point out that it's like, I thought the
only fear you had was poverty. Why is it that you're seemingly
so afraid of so many things? Kody Brown.
Oh my God, yes, gross, gross, gross.
And I didn't even have it written there.
And Robyn, well, and Robyn sitting right there next to him,
I couldn't help but have flashes to her later spending issues and
how she is going to spend him into the poor house that he's
making reference to how his only fear is poverty.
His new wife is sitting next to him, who eventually will spend
thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on
unnecessary things. I think we can say hundreds and
thousands of dollars. Yeah, Yeah.
By the tallies that exist online today, yeah.
At least six figures of excess spending.
And like my how the tables can turn right like the the things
that will drive people over the edge.
But for one other specific person 0 concern any longer.
Like we will. You bet you want that $10,000
painting. Let's go get it.
I love it too. What?
And they're anyway. Never mind.
Yeah, terrible. They do their friend little zip
lining adventure. They both were like spread eagle
like as they landed on the platform.
Did you notice that like their legs were at this like weird
like wide VI. Don't know if that was an
instruction. It just looked awkward and I
hated it. I must have had a like trauma
block response. Oh, it was, it was awful.
And then what they they start like exploring the park a little
bit more and like at that point, literally the zoo animals are
more interesting than Kody and Robyn.
Like there is nothing exciting. Like they're being lovey dovey
and whatever, but it's just like I roll and.
Another example with the male lions having applied that
there's one male and several females.
So Kody's just reinforced with his polygamous theory of nature
while standing next to his boring ass wife.
But he looks at that male lion with his three females and says
he's just getting started. Gross.
That's where I had Gross written down.
And with all of the back and forth with this episode, I mean,
we have really already discussed so much.
I think it would maybe be a good time to take a break and to
circle back to this on our next episode.
There's a lot to process and I think that there's still a lot
we want to talk about because there's a lot that happens to
kind of finish up the season It it was a wild ride.
Yeah, so we're going to take a break and we're going to return
next week with the second-half of the ninth episode of this
season and leading into the next season of Sister Wives talking
about their very first episode, they take a trip to New York to
talk about their new life, their new public life.
So as always, we will be seeing you on the flip side.
See you next time.