What does the nanny do? OK, so we're done.
Goodbye. You.
Shut it off. Do not twist my words.
Do not make me a victim. Sweetie, Just look at the
mountain. That's what you.
Saw that day just the knife in the kidneys over all these years
and the sacrifices that I made to love you.
Buckle your seatbelts everybody.
We are going on an adventure like you haven't seen or heard
since we all died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail.
Score in several years ago on the dysentery.
Trail. Yeah, it is almost like we're
going back in time. I mean.
And it's just as made-up as that computer game.
Yeah, it's a journey and it is definitely made-up.
Come with us now as we take a journey into Season 5, Episode 7
of Sister Wives. The episode is titled Polygamist
Pilgrimage Into the Past, and I said that without even fucking
it up. No, that was just glorious.
We'll see how long that lasts. We opened this wonderful episode
at Janelle's house. Oh, it's funny that we're
opening at Janelle's house because we actually see Logan
and Christine in the opening shot.
So I was like, what's going on here?
I was a little confused. But Logan is eating mock tapioca
pudding, Christine's specialty that we all, well, maybe not all
of us, but most of us, wonder what the fuck is it?
What are these and? Christine's making this for
Logan's birthday, says You know this is your birthday gift.
OK, whatever. Another birthday about to be
overshadowed by big announcements.
Of course, of course. We don't talk about the recaps
at the beginning very often. However, for no fucking reason
in particular, they decided to show us a clip of Meri and
Kody's couch conversation about the baby decision again.
And when she says I don't think you do in response to him saying
I know this is a tough decision, he has a look on his
face that looks like he is just so fucking over it and he
looks disgusted and the look is hateful.
Yeah, when you see the footage the first time in the previous
episode or whatever episode it was, it's like the the angle was
different, the shot was different and I didn't catch it.
They didn't show his facial reaction to her quote there.
Yeah, what did she say again? Well, he says first.
I know this is a tough decision.
And then she says, I don't think you do.
That's right in his face. Doesn't he like shoot his head
up and kind of look like I can't even fucking?
Believe he puts his head up and he does this thing where he kind
of looks up at the ceiling. It's not a full eye roll, but
his eyes are buggin and he has this hateful look in his eyes.
Like honestly, that look alone just tells me everything that I
need to know about where their relationship is truly at.
And you know, Chris and I, we each watched the episode solo
and then kind of chit chatted before watching it together.
And I was like, did you? And I didn't even have to say
what I was going to say. And you were like, yes.
It was intense and it stood out as a moment where we even talked
about how it could be captured and part of documentation of
some of the nonverbals and their reactions to each other.
Because it looks like he is like shut the fuck up, I don't want
to hear from you. I don't even like you.
I can't believe I'm doing this captured in a second.
It's everything that you need to know about where the
relationship was truly at during that interview around season 5,
episode 5 to 7, you know, or after when they recorded the
couch conversations. But I was telling Chris, I'm
like, This is why doing the rewatch is so interesting,
because I don't think when I was hearing about this or when
people were watching it in real time that they maybe caught
these little tells. And now rewatching it, it's just
so obvious that the family was in a worse place than the viewer
ever even could have imagined. So.
Absolutely. Honestly, I don't.
If I ever saw my husband look at me like that or do a look like
that behind my back, I would think our marriage was over.
Right. Yeah, I would know.
Our marriage was in a horrible. Spot hate filled disgust, blah
blah blah. Yeah, it was not.
It was not cute. It.
Was not cute and he was not keeping sweet.
He was not keeping sweet, that is for sure.
Oh, do you bastard. And thank you for bringing that
up because it is totally worth mentioning.
It was a high impact moment that was in a previously on SO.
Yeah, recaps are usually like we gloss over, we don't notice
much, but you guys are going to hear us talk about this episode.
And there's maybe a couple of
mentions here and there about how Meri, if she had a baby,
then this, but nothing that warranted that in the recap.
Right. Other than maybe if the
producers were being smart trying to show something
sinister. Or maybe just to keep viewers
remembering, like remember that this is a thing and you know,
and it's one of those things, it's like we cannot forget.
We literally you will not allow us to.
Forget beat us with it. Seriously.
Oh my gosh. So when we're coming back to the
start of the episode, Kody says that he has an announcement.
So like you said, another birthday that gets overshadowed
by an announcement, which is so ridiculous.
They're all like gathered for Logan's birthday AKA an
announcement where everyone's gathered in the living room and
sitting around anxiously waiting for Kody's announcement where
he says how would everyone like to take a vacation to Nauvoo
IL in? Two RV's.
Oh my God, the younger kids are excited.
They all have the like young kid enthusiasm gay.
We're going to go on a trip and. We're in an.
RV spinning around in circles and spreading our germs
everywhere and it's like, cool. But our favorite child, Mckelty.
Oh yeah, she's annoyed.
Yeah, the older kids are not excited and they do a close up
of Mckelty, OH. My God, she does the gun to head
and pulling the trigger gesture.
That was huge back then. I'm sure I did it many a time at
that point in my life as well, but nowadays it is not something
that would be considered appropriate.
Right, yeah, Kody does in some of the details says, you know,
we're taking two RV's, it's going to be 3 days of travel,
blah, blah, blah. I think, Mckelty says it's
boring. We get to learn about our
culture in Illinois. Illinois.
It's so annoying. I love.
It it's so totally teenage vibes.
Like, yeah, who would want to be with their family in an RV for
multiple days to learn about your family culture?
Which it turns out, they actually do need to learn some
things about their their culture and their history.
Yeah, Yeah, they do. Which is funny.
It's like an unintended part of the episode.
I feel like by the end you were making comments about how, wow,
they're really learning a lot about what they're so
passionate. What they should already fucking
know. It's so weird.
Oh yeah. Then Kody says it's got a lot of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints history and that this
just tripped me up. It's really like going to
Jerusalem. Right.
Well, Christine says it's a family vacation, but some of the
older kids are stressed. And I'm stressed.
And it's like, yes, OK, you're stressed.
And that's when Kody says it's like a pilgrimage.
Polygamy didn't start there, but it's significant in LDS culture.
Like returning to Jerusalem.
Yeah, Joseph Smith introduced the idea of polygamy in Nauvoo,
IL. Yes, ultimately leading to his
death. Yeah, we're going to be talking
a lot about Nauvoo, which is an interesting word.
It reminds me of the planet of Nabu from a one Star Wars saga.
And once again, it's all made-up.
It is. It is just like Star Wars and
Kody even mentions at one point that this history dates back to
100 or so years ago and he doesn't even know exactly when
while making that comment. And I'm like, if you can trace
your religion to 100 or so years ago, it may or may not be a
call. Right right right.
The LDS church has struggled for 100 ish years to separate
itself from polygamy. Therefore Kody and his family
are like outsiders. They're like a problem to the
LDS church, which interesting to call yourself a problem to the
established religion that your family is a part of, a sector of
that broke away. So it makes sense.
But it's also like, yeah, you're calling your family a problem
and not really catching the irony in that.
Problem to society, problem to the LDS.
But I digress. Just a problem.
A problem to our eyes and ears and senses on TLC.
So then we get a shot of the adults sitting around a table
doing their planning for this trip.
And OK, so Janelle, you know, sometimes we get reminded of why
Janelle's our queen and why we love Janelle.
And she says it'll be nice to get away from the chaos of
building the houses for a week.
She's also looking forward to not thinking about anything for
a week. And I'm like not thinking about
anything. While you white knuckle the
steering wheel of an RV for days on end.
OK, Janelle. This theme keeps coming up for
me. I don't want to get too
sidetracked right now, but I kind of scratched my head and my
chin and my balls and I go, what is it that you're doing all
the time? These people make it sound like,
you know, they're just escaping the stresses.
OK, Yeah. You know, planning the build of
a home is somewhat stressful, but my God, Janelle, stop going
to the gym at the ass crack of dawn and, you know, ignoring
your children all day. I guess I I don't really know.
It's bizarre. Kody says they're trading one
kind of chaos for another. Yeah, well.
Yeah, well, yeah, the Brown family chaos.
Meri says that this is giving me stress.
Yeah. And it's all over her face.
Well, we find out that it's going to be a 1600 mile
pilgrimage from Vegas to Nauvoo and it's going to take 3 days of
getting there and then getting back and that is the plan.
Three days to get there and three days to get back.
Seven days total they said the trip.
So one day in Nauvoo, after all this mess express of planning
and I want to know what the fuck is the hurry?
What is the rush? Why I don't, I don't know.
And in classic television storytelling, do we get any
footage of them coming back home?
No. So I wonder if they really took
the RV back home or not. Maybe they just were like, we've
shown enough disgusting footage of them getting there
that they didn't want to torture us.
I don't know. Yeah, I, I just, I I just
questioned whether they took the RV back home.
But. Well, maybe they got dysentery
on the way home and they couldn't.
Show us they couldn't. Maybe they had somewhere loose
rolls and loose stools on the way home, you know, and.
Maddie rolling up loose stools or loose.
Rolling up their loose stools and inside the camper.
In the RV, hitting the bumps and being like lookout for those
loose rolls. No.
Oh man, You know, once a chef, I was a chef, Christine asks
about if something fun comes up, how could they fit it into
their trip? And I love it, Meri says.
If it's not in the plan, it's not happening.
And she has these wide, aggressive eyes.
Like don't you even test me or question me here.
Do not fuck with a planner when it comes to a road trip where
you have no time for silly business.
Nope, no time whatsoever. We've just constructed this
timeline of our own volition. That literally doesn't matter,
right? OK, because they're all getting
back to their busy lives. Of what?
Which nobody knows, Christine says.
The more we talk about it, the more I'm done.
I'm just saying forget about me because this sounds like a lot
of stress. Yeah, just have fun without me.
This sounds like a lot of stress.
And then she makes a face. She made a lot of faces in this
episode. It's very expressive.
Christine, This entire episode has me cracking up and I'm going
to come out and say it again. I've said it the last few
episodes. I love Christine now.
I love her. I am a stand for Christine.
Christine. I'm just I'm wondering if you're
running a fever. No, she is just being so fucking
honest and it's so refreshing and she's the only one that's
like calling out the shit and just being blatantly honest and
she's making her faces and she's going, Oh well, Gaudi and like
being silly. And maybe it's the cider flowing
through veins. Maybe it's the potential.
I I'm not going to say it, but Xanax maybe, I don't know, she
she mentions she perhaps was on something that she decided not
to take any more after taking it one time.
But she is hilarious this entire episode and she's the only one
speaking truths. She was definitely the comedic
relief in this episode. I did chuckle more than I've
ever laughed with Christine collectively over the entire
series at this point, so that's a good thing.
When she was kind of like sidebar the last few episodes
quiet here and there other than her huge exam that she took the
last episode and. Talking about how their families
breaking up and disintegrating.
Yeah. And that nothing works and
nothing makes sense. Yeah.
This episode, she was definitely slapstick, which is, Yeah.
It was fun. It's like the last episode she
was kind of coming into her own and they gave her the plot and
now this episode she is just like Wham bam, thank you ma'am,
I am who I am. I do suspect she's on drugs.
I'm just. Saying she's You mean like
Maddie? She's definitely roll.
She's on a different drug than Maddie.
That's. Allegedly.
Allegedly.
Maddie that episode was like, I'm chill, I'm cool.
She's also like that in this episode.
I'll get, I'll get through a sentence eventually and
Christine's like, I'm going to tell you what's going on.
Oh my God. We get to Meri's and she's
packing the camper and cleaning her house and she's acting like
it's so early in the morning and they show her clock on her
microwave and it says 7:28 AM. Which is early.
Shut up. I know well you're a mom with
young kids, but to the average person?
To someone. Now she's been up for five hours
already at 2:00 AM, that's. Funny.
Yeah. I mean, to be up at 728 packing
up the RV, frantically cleaning, you know, it's is what
it is. She's trying to get ready to go
and she says that she can't stand leaving her house a mess,
so she's going nuts. And I identify with that there.
You know, I don't like leaving a mess when I leave as well, so
that when you get home you're not like, Oh my God, this is
what I got home to. I agree, I don't like leaving
the place in a state of despair because I don't want to come
back and feel that despair again wash over me.
Are you the type of person that when you get back from a trip
you unpack the first day? Or do you slowly unpack
overtime? Oh, good question.
I usually, oh gosh, it's, it kind of depends on when you get
in, you know, but usually I because I try to leave things in
a state of I don't have to do anything.
I might throw all my laundry into the wash and then sit on
the couch for the rest of the day.
I try not to have any activities to do for sure, but you know,
I usually don't have to do a lot because it's just me, you
know, putting my carry on into the washing machine.
I like to unpack right when I get home if possible, depending
on the circumstances, and then I leave my empty suitcase
sitting out for public view for days on end for my husband to
take back downstairs. That's what I was assuming was
for the hubby to put it away. Yes, if I just leave this object
here for long enough, surely it will be put away.
Surely it will disappear magically.
That's amazing. This is followed by a mini
collage of them putting their things into the RV's getting
settled. You know that this is an early
morning mild version of Brown family chaos.
Just guess what? We're getting ready to go,
everybody. We find out who's coming and who
is not coming. We find out that Robyn's sister
Tara is coming along. Yes, remember her from a
previous episode? We couldn't remember her name.
I wrote it down. This time it's Tara.
We have 21 people total coming along on the trip.
Hunter is staying back for football camp and Logan is
staying back for I don't remember why.
Prior obligations. Prior obligations.
Getting ready for college, let's say.
Maddie is jealous of the boys that get to stay behind.
Of course she is. Luckily, unlike her sister, she
didn't make any. I'm killing myself with a gun.
Oh. Gestures, Yeah.
She did have a bun on the top of her head that looks like
cotton candy, like fuzz, like she has literally bleached the
absolute living tar out of that hair.
And there's just a lot of cotton candy now that's leftover.
I thought it was beautiful. Maddie does predict that things
will be calm for the first day of their travels.
And then she says, quote, things are going to get bad.
And I was like, yes, things are going to get bad.
They totally are. They have to drive through 7
states. They let us know that Robyn and
Christine are going to stay in hotels and that Meri and Janelle
are going to stay in the RV's. Now why are Meri and Janelle in
the RV's and Robyn and Christine staying in hotels?
Well. Do they tell us?
There's a joke made about how having babies is driving this
decision and I don't remember what the back and forth is right
away, but it does land with Christine saying no, I'm just a
Princess which. You know, Christine, she might
be the funny one in this episode, but I didn't laugh at
that. She's a plague Princess, Chris.
Come on.
She's a plague Princess. Polygamist royalty, yes.
And that's when Kody cracks a joke to Meri that if she had a
baby, she wouldn't have to stay in the RV.
Meri says she was easygoing with either way.
She didn't really care whether she stayed in a hotel or an RV.
And I don't really know. Was there details about this
baby thing that stood out to you?
I mean. They just call attention to the
fact that the two with the youngest children are the ones
that are staying in a hotel and that they use their babies as
an excuse for being the ones that need to stay in the
hotel. And it doesn't really track
because honestly if I had a baby I'd probably prefer being in the
RV while traveling at least I don't know while staying.
But packing up all of your like baby stuff every morning from a
hotel room to get back to the family seems like more work than
staying in the RV and having all the babies stuff in one
spot. But I'm also curious how the
kids get divvied up right? Because just because Robyn and
Christine are staying in hotel rooms, does that mean they get
their own hotel room? Because if your if your baby's
young enough to wake up and be upset throughout the night, an
RV would be a better place to stay.
You're at least by yourself and not waking up the children, but
maybe the kids are staying in the RV's.
They don't really give us these details.
They don't explain Kody calls it camping a few times, which
makes me wonder if they actually set up tents for some of the
kids. They probably did.
So if they actually did that, then maybe it does make more
sense for the babies and the moms to be at the hotel.
So they're not helping with all of that because the babies have
an actual bedtime. But either way, they don't.
Make any night anyway so. No, either way it's just weird.
I'm not I.
It's messy and it's just another opportunity to draw attention
to the fact that Meri doesn't have a baby.
And it's like, my God, just stop.
Of course, yeah. I think another thing that makes
sense to me is that Meri talks about how she's easy with it
either way. And I think it's funny because
Meri is particular about certain things, but she definitely
makes sure to point out when she's like, I'm cool with it,
I'm flexible. And sometimes I feel like
there's an element of people not believing her where I'm
looking at it going, why wouldn't you just believe her?
In this instance? Meri's literally like I can
sleep in in the RV, it's cool. I can be in a hotel room, I
don't care. And I feel like there's a vibe
of well, really Mare and it's like, I don't know, it seems
like she would be fine with it.
And Janelle tried to live in a teepee and she didn't make it
overnight. She likes camping.
She like. Literally tried to live in a
teepee. Of course she's going to pick
the RV because she's like, I want to stay in an RV.
Like that's her vibe. Also though, this entire episode
Kody is picking on Meri every time that he's taking anything
out on any. It's Meri.
We definitely see that as a pattern.
Our first stop on this family voyage, this pilgrimage, excuse
me, it's not a voyage, it's a pilgrimage, Is St.
George, UT to visit their friend Chris who owns family Pond.
Now luckily Chris say luckily Chris does come up as a
reoccurring character in the show.
We get to interact with him in future episodes.
So we're just getting a little taste of Chris, which is what I
like to call going on a first date with Chris, a little taste
of Chris. Chris also owns the home in
Nauvoo that the family will be staying in the Hiram Smith farm,
named after Joseph Smith's brother, which is a lovely
detail to get out of nowhere. And then you're wondering, why
do we care? Oh, that's right, they're
finding out things about their past.
Well, not their past, their fake religions past which includes
Joseph Smith and his brother Hiram Smith blah blah blah yadda
yadda yadda. Chris points out some sort of
shit in the store that's like a picture of Joseph Smith, Brigham
Young, someone. This is where I kind of blacked
out and I trauma blocked because I'm like I don't know
what to even say or care about.
They are looking at a photo and a letter, and the letter is
important. It adds value and it's a Brigham
Young and it is worth about $6000 in this Utah pawn shop.
Oh yes. 6K6. K.
And if it was outside of Utah or Nauvoo Illinois, would it be
worth 6K? Probably not.
You'd be in a dumpster. Yeah, they joke that Kody looks
like him, that Kody looks like Brigham Young, and Robyn thinks
that Brigham Young is handsome, so she doesn't mind the
comparison. And it's like you fucking kiss
ass. They also called Brigham Young
Uncle Brigham Young, which I thought was creepy.
I'm like, is this some sort of, you know, like, familiar term
for the religious fanatics? And I puked a little in my
mouth, and I swallowed it, and it was OK.
But the photo of him, like, he's a hefty man with this, like,
cleft beard or I don't know what you call.
It's not attractive. And then, of course, when
they're drawing this comparison, Kody does this whole, like,
turn his head and try to do whatever.
And it's like, you know, you guys are just putting out how
you all look the same because you're all inbred.
Like it's so weird. They also call Brigham Young the
modern Moses because he helped to bring them to Utah from
Illinois. Right, right.
Modern Moses. He didn't part any seas, but he
didn't help the criminals and freaks get over some hills.
Well, I would like to dispute that because he parted a lot of
red seas. Oh my God, Oh my God.
In fact, Brigham Young had two dozen wives at least, so there
was plenty of opportunities to part the Red Seas there.
I cannot believe you just did that.
I cannot believe it. I mean, it's a beautiful thing.
A goal for their first day of
travel leaving Vegas is to get to Grand Junction Co, which is
on the West side of the state. It's just beyond the border,
which is 525 miles now, if you're from the West or you've
driven through the West, it's funny because I was like, Grand
Junction Co has been a destination for me.
Like when you're going that way, traveling east from the West
Coast or anywhere over there, Grand Junction is such a staple
to stop in because you're like, we're getting across the
border, We're getting to a place.
Like it just is so funny to see. And I'm like, how many people
have been like, we just have to get to Grand Junction, Co.
Meri is doing a lot of Rd. math. Oh yes, she is.
She's got the hours down and when she said something like,
oh, I think it's going to take 8 hours or 12 hours, I don't
remember what she said. 8 or 9 hours for 500 miles.
Right. She said 8 or 9 hours and I'm
going For me as a single man doing the trip by myself, I
would plan for 10 hours. And that's to like stop to get
fast food and to pee. Like, I don't know where she's
doing that math. I remember always thinking it's
like a mile a minute. Yeah, 525 miles divided by 60 is
I love how I wrote it down. Well, she.
Put 16 hours of driving each day, but that they could do 8 or
9 hours per 500 miles. And I'm like Meri, who is doing
this Mile Rd. math for you. Yeah, no, she did not do well at
math, clearly. I just when you factor the
miles, I'm like that's mile a minute I think, right.
Well, yes, 525 miles divided by 60, which is how many minutes
are in an hour, is 8.75. So even if you didn't stop and
you didn't do anything, well, I shouldn't say that.
If you plan on a mile a minute like you're talking about,
that's 8.75 hours, which is why I would think it would take 10
hours. She's doing the math as if
they're never going to stop. They're just going to float
through everything like it's weird math.
Well, they're in RV's. They shouldn't have to stop.
They should have potty time in their RV's, but then they've got
the two vans or 1 van traveling separately.
I don't know how many vans. I didn't even note that there
was a van, so I don't know. I guess if they could all fit in
the RV's they would just pee in there.
Well, they show the van being driven by Christine at one
point, or by Robyn, so. They do have to stop.
Yeah, they do have to stop, and they tell us that their potty
stops take about an hour each. Oh yeah, they can't just do a
tinkle. It's got to be an hour ordeal,
which you know, Joe Darger would have none of that.
There would be whippersnap you've got.
Hell no. You've got 2 minutes to pee and
then I'm leaving you in this state we don't live in.
The women you don't get a toilet.
We stop on the side of the road and you use one of those little
Dingle hoppers that you put up to the.
Oh God. You know what I'm talking about?
Those like potty urinal things
for women to stand and pee. Pee.
Yes, and you got to sanitize your own dinglehopper.
Sanitize. Who said anything about that
happening? You just throw it in the back.
Well, of course, because Meri sucks at math.
I was going to, I was going to crack a joke about girl math.
And then I realized, Chris, that's sexist.
Quit talking about girl math, Girl math about food.
I want to be respectful. So because she did women math,
it took them 16 hours to get word.
Should have taken them ten. OK, you know it is what it is.
Meri never told us she was a mathematician.
Me girl math about food, that's in my mind when I'm doing like
this thing's this many calories and this and this, and it's
like girl math girl fun time. I just heard about it on the
Internet. I don't, I don't know anything.
Well, that's probably not even like a normal girl math
situation, but that's just, you know, my own.
No one said you were normal, honey.
Now they acknowledge they're slow travelers and that their
potty breaks take an hour. Like you said.
They arrive at the campsite after dark, which is such great
footage. They're rolling into the
campsite and Kody says they can't arrive at their evening
destinations 4 hours late every night when you didn't even
double check your wife's terrible math.
There you go. I mean, it's like leaving
Janelle in charge of the finances.
We left Meri in charge of the road math.
I don't know what you expected, Lee.
It's all, it's all women math to me now, Christine says.
It's late and Kody still wants to have an adult conversation.
And she rolls her eyes in this big grand, dramatic fashion.
And it was funny. So we had to have a family
meeting at 11:00. 11:00 PM to talk about the schedule in about
the 7:00 AM call time. He calls it a call time.
Call time, Meri, Meri, Meri. Quite contrary, she says.
We left at 8:00 this morning and we're still late.
We have a schedule and Christine makes fun of Meri talking by
doing the teacher voice. Charlie Brown, The Peanuts.
She's like the all I'm hearing is, yeah, I'd be hearing that
too at that time after hearing kids screaming the entire car
ride for over 8 hours and Janelle is playing with her hair
and staring off and she looks exactly like Maddie.
Maddie does this exact same thing and Oh my gosh they look
like twins. When I saw that I was like, Oh
no, this is crazy. I pointed out at this point that
for the first time I've noticed Kody's ring and there is some
lore around Kody's ring and going from the Clada to perhaps
a ring that Christine picked out that all the other wives
approved that he wouldn't wear.
Then he goes to like this big signet weird ring from the
collection that Robyn designs and this is the first time that
I've noticed his rings. I do believe that it has a
changed and that's all I can say about it 'cause we couldn't
really tell. There was 1 clear shot of it and
then that was it. But if perhaps this is when and
around the time that he changed his ring Season 5 Episode 7,
it's noticeable. And it parallels with Christine
talking about how it's great that there's a schedule, but
that she's probably going to be cranky every night.
Maybe she noticed that ring. It was like glistening in the
light. And she was like, oh, that
bastard. Bastard, I didn't know men could
be such bastards. Thank you for that flashback.
Oh my God. Well, luckily the Browns did get
some sleep and we all, I don't know, they had some sleep and
now we're at day 2. Woo Hoo.
We've got Meri standing outside of her RV saying I'm hoping
we'll stay more on top of our schedule today.
It was really late when we got in last night.
It was kind of stressful and I was L0L 0L ING.
I was like, yes, Meri, Meri, Meri.
I hate to say it, but I'm totally Meri on a road trip.
I'm like, if you want to get somewhere by a certain time,
then you got to get there. Like I don't know what you want.
They're driving through Colorado
on Day 2, and Meri is a hoping for another chance to stay on
schedule. Yes, they've got to get through
Colorado and get to Goodland, KS is where their RV park is 440
miles away. So they hit the road, Jack.
And they are driving campers called Freedom Elite.
Oh, Freedom Elite. Yeah, how very exclusive.
This is a joke between my husband and I when we're on a
road trip. I, I did this to him one time,
like inadvertently we were driving and it was quiet and we
were not speaking and I saw a camper pass us and I just like
screamed out of nowhere the name of the camper, let's say
Cougar. And Dave like jumped out of his
skin and he was like, what the fuck was that?
And I was like the name of the camper that just drove by
Cougar. And I said it again.
So now it's a joke. Whenever we're on a road trip
together, we will just randomly yell out the name of like the
campers that drive by. And so as soon as I saw the
name, I'm like the Freedom Elite, Elite fleet, we got the 2
elite campers on the road going through Colorado.
I was a little surprised also to not see them like tape over that
or do something that they usually do now.
Yeah, they had the name of the rental company across the top of
the camper as well, which I didn't write down, but I think
it was probably like, oh, this is free advertising.
Promotional. Nowadays camper company.
Shows they're like, block out every word.
Yeah. But you know, there's this
footage of them in the RV while they're driving of the older
kids snacking around a table. And I was thinking, it looks
kind of fun. Like I was like, oh, I'd love to
sit around a table and eat some snacks and be like, well,
let's talk about whatever. And then I was like, well, maybe
it's because I think it'd be fun because I've never been on a
long trip in an RV. Because then they start talking
about how it's chaotic and loud and they don't like it and I can
only imagine. Yeah, they're all complaining
about the lack of space and how loud it is.
And then they show a clip of Saul passed out in his car seat
while the kids sitting next to him are like all screaming and
Saul's just like but. Yes.
And there's another shot of a kid like knocking into Aspen and
her just looking at them like, are you fucking kidding?
And I'm like, Oh my gosh. So because I never did go on
road trips in an RVI think, you know, I know I've been in one
while I was driving, but not like across States and stuff.
So when I see that, I'm like, oh, I could totally do that, but
I could do it. I wouldn't want to do it.
I cannot even imagine 21 people on a road trip. 21 people.
And yet it's like, OK, seven days, 21 people, seven days.
Why? Why?
They've got all these important my sister wife's closet meetings
to attend to when they get home.
Apparently. They arrive in Goodland, KS in
the late PM and Kody talks about rotating spending time with
his wives while traveling while they're on the couch having a
little spotlight moment and Robyn says that she hates the
word rotate. I hate that word I.
Hate that word. And then he's like, what word?
What? Because what was the other word
that he said it was like? Schedule.
That's right.
I schedule rotations with my wives during travel and he's
like. Yeah, and she goes, I hate that
word. And he goes, what schedule?
Like, Oh yeah, no, she hates the word schedule, you idiot.
So obviously it's rotate. And then they're all, you know,
being like, yes, we hate rotate.
We hate rotate. Janelle's like Kody gets grumpy
when we travel and she just looks so resigned to life like.
He gets overwhelmed and he often
grumpy and Christine says sometimes she just succumbs to
it, like Kody's grumpiness, and other times she tries to turn
that attitude around. Honestly, it's like, OK, let's
all make excuses for this man's shitty behavior when he
travels. Like I don't get it.
It's bizarre, bizarro. Yeah, I feel like it seems
magnetized because of the number of wives and the women.
I mean, I think we've all been on road trips where you can tell
someone is in the space and you just kind of let them be
there for a little while, hoping that the next time you
talk it's a different tone and a different thing.
And it would be weird because I do get a sense that Kody feels I
shouldn't say. I get a sense he says that even
later that he feels obligated to have to like, succumb to all
these women's things. And it's like, oh, my God, needs
just, it must be a lot. It just must be a lot to have to
navigate those Gray areas, those cloudy areas.
I'm, I'm not trying to make excuses for him.
I'm just saying everyone gets like that, like on a road trip
or something. And so he's probably just like,
can I just get a fucking corner by myself for a few minutes?
Well, and men are just like a little clueless sometimes as to
like the needs of like others around them, especially in
situations like that, because if they're the ones driving,
they're stressed and they don't understand that other people
might be stressed even though they're not driving.
I like the first time that we ever took a road trip with a
baby, Dave like didn't understand why we couldn't take
the baby out to feed him like while driving.
And I had to be like, well, that's just never going to
happen. And this is like literally
illegal. And then when I said it, he's
like, oh, well, duh. Like, duh.
Why did I think that we could do that?
But it's just like sometimes I think men in particular when it
comes to travelling, they just get in this other mode.
Like I don't even know how to explain it.
Like the women that are listening will get it.
Like if men, I get it, get in this mode when they're
travelling and I'm more like, what's the hurry?
Like let's chill out. Let's if people need to stop and
go potty, like it's going to have to happen regardless if you
want it to or not. My dad was the type of dad that
would be like pulling the van over and trying to make me like
hang my ass over outside of the sliding van door and pee.
And I had pee fright. And then it would be like I'm
hanging my ass out of the siding door for 30 minutes instead of
at the rest stop up the road for 10.
Like what the fuck? Like, let's just chill out, you
know, like why are we rushing this road trip into seven days?
I don't know.
These people drive me fucking insane.
One thing the editors do in this episode sometimes is they're
like, that's the end of the day, and then here's the next day.
So now it's day three. It's like, OK, sounds good.
We know there was more to that story, but it is only one
episode and we've got to get through it.
So just like this episode is based like their trip, it's like
for some reason we have to only show half of it.
God. Instead of doing these weird Q
and as that they've done before, it's like, why couldn't you
split some of these episodes? Up right, like a two-part travel
episode. But I don't know that they drove
back. Just well.
I don't know that they drove back.
You think they flew back? I find it a little hard to
believe that they paid for everyone to fly back.
So I could see why they would drive back, but I also don't get
why you wouldn't have. Maybe they didn't want
production to go back. Maybe it was a cost saver.
Like you get back however you get back, you know what I mean?
Like we don't want to have the crew filming you for the whole
time. That might make sense now for
day three. Their goal is to get to
Maysville, MO. Maysville, MO.
Maysville, MO. 470 miles to go on day three here.
Most of which is Kansas. And that makes me go yawn,
boring OMG. Because if you've driven West to
east or east to West through Kansas, Oklahoma, the Dakotas,
Nebraska, it's just, you know, there's beautiful places in
these states. Not trying to put you down if
you live there. You know, please don't leave us
a negative review about how I'm talking about driving through
the state, but there's a lot of nothing.
Rolling grasslands it's. Literally, like I remember one
time driving through Nebraska and there was road construction
and I was so glad because it made you have to pay attention
to like switching left to right and stuff.
It was like at least something was happening.
And so, you know, those, those, those stretches tend to be a
bit long. Robyn, Robyn, our hero, she
says. Originally we talked about
making the trip to Nabu in three days.
Here we are on our third day and we're this far behind.
There's no way. It's like, yes girl, way to
state the obvious. Kody shares his concern about
their lack of sleep every evening and the wind.
We're in a wind, so we're. The wind is our new character in
this episode. So it happens when there's no
landscaping. Rolling hills and lots of wind.
And Kody, they show a clip of him running from RV to RV as
they're hitting the road. Getting started and I was lol
ING because as he's running the hair is like blowing in the
wind. He looks like a soccer mom
running to like their child on the field to give them their
Gatorade bottle or something. It was quite the sight.
It was really something as they're describing this kind of
wind happening. They show footage of the RV's
being blown while driving down the road and the awnings of the
RV's are being pulled out by the wind, so of course they have
to pull over to figure out what to do.
They're catching like sails in the wind.
Like Christopher crost on OH. Boy, and then we find out about
Kody's lack of sleep and that he's only been getting 4 hours
of sleep each night so far. And I've been fighting the wind
all day. Yep.
And I'm just done. It's like, OK, now this is one
of my favorite scenes of this episode.
Kody goes into the RV to talk to Meri and Robyn.
Kody says, can we take a break now?
Now mind you this also, I have to preface with that they didn't
really give us enough context clues to how long this has been
or anything. Like they hit the road, it's
windy, they pulled over. I don't know how long it's been
on this day, but Kody says, can we take a break now?
And Meri says, no, I'm fine. Kody goes so you just want to
constantly drive and Meri said I would love to constantly drive
and I was like Oh my God, Oh my God, I'm so deep.
Meri right now Kody's like I have 4 hours of sleep. 4 hours
of sleep is not enough. I stopped because I was falling
asleep and Meri's like, I'm fine, Kody says.
We just have to get a rotation here and they are not on the
same page at all. And he uses the word rotation
again. Rotation and it's funny because
he's really just trying to tell her like I'm falling asleep
I've been driving too much blah blah blah and she's like I'm
cool I'm fine I'm Meri they call me mayor.
I'm cool to keep driving forever and I feel like I would
totally be Meri in this situation.
And I'm just like, listen baby boy, have someone else drive,
take a catnap, close your eyes, sit in the passenger seat.
Like do you have to drive? Well Robyn's dumbass is sitting
there like she is a 15 year old without a license like looking
back and forth and she could offer to be like oh I'll take
over for you Kody. Yeah.
No, no, that's not going to. Happen.
That's not going to happen, yeah.
So Meri wraps up their exchange for the moment by saying So
whenever you say the word, I'm good to go.
And Kody is so pissed because he's there to say I don't want
to keep driving. Sure.
She is not having any of it. She's just like, whenever you
say the word, I'm good to go. And I'm like, Oh my God.
So now we get a little couch break from the scene where we're
going to get a little, you know, tidbit from Kody says.
I was too exhausted to delegate. I just wanted to bark orders and
have them be obeyed. I just wanted to bark orders and
have them obey. Obey.
And the way he says it is so aggressive and Christine says
that's offensive. The word obey and saying that we
need to obey, that's offensive.
It's like. She says it's in fact a four
letter word, which it actually is.
Obey. So good on her.
Pretty clever for Christine. I feel her so hard in this
moment and I can't believe she's the only one that spoke up
here, or at least the only one that they show speaking up.
And This is why I'm standing her hard this episode yet again
because she is like, that's offensive, OK?
Robyn said offensive about rotate.
Like, OK, but basically, yeah. Semantics, Robyn.
He is rotating waves, him telling his wives to obey.
It's literally like keep sweet and obey.
That's like part of what they say all the time.
And this is his true colors coming out.
This is his true colors. And her saying, I think in her
family, like we don't use things like that.
We don't say things like that. That's offensive.
And the other women are just like keeping quiet.
There's also an element to this is what I struggle with with
Kody. One of the things I struggle
with with Kody is that we're having a couch moment.
This is post filming all of this.
He once again opens his big fucking stupid mouth and says
something like my wife should obey me.
It's like, why are you even doing this?
And he's getting heated again, like he's in the moment.
Right. It's like, you know, you could
explain why you were frustrated in a way that doesn't use
language that obviously is going to be turned around back at
you going this is offensive in a four letter word.
It's literally rude. Well linked to the culture and
linked to the religion in an offensive way as well.
Like This is why people have a problem with the religion and
with the sect that you belong to because they use words like
that when it comes to women. And it is offensive.
And it's like marriage vows. I'm so happy that women have
started saying like, oh, or we're not going to say this,
that and the other thing in our marriage vows, like obey, to
have and hold whatever. It's like these things that
women have been taught for so long and specifically in
religion like this. It is fucking offensive and you
wonder why people fight back against your beliefs in your
religion. Right, right.
Kody continues to pontificate or whatever the word would be
about when he gets grumpy. It's hard for him to be patient
and to speak to everyone in a delicate manner.
Now we got back to the RV to one of my favorite scenes.
And Kody leaves the RV by slamming the door shut.
And what does Robyn say, honey?
What's wrong and? Meri says I have no idea.
And Robyn goes. I'm confused.
And I'm going no, you're not. She's just pretending to not
know, right? She's pretending to not know so
that she's not the one that gets in trouble.
And Meri's taking the heat. Yet again, Meri takes the heat
every single time he's frustrated in this episode.
At least three times he blows up and blames Meri.
And it's mostly he's trying to say it's because she planned the
trip OK, even though earlier he said, well, we all chose to
do this. And now he's just blaming her
every chance that he gets. And it makes me wonder what's
going on behind the scenes and if this is the timing, like
where he found out some nefarious things that she was
supposedly doing online. I don't know the timeline of
that, but he is taking his anger out on her specifically.
And then Robyn's just pretending to be all innocent and so
confused and. There's totally some connect,
not to restate what you said, but with her to be like by not
acknowledging what's going on, by not even pretending like she
doesn't even know, it's like she doesn't have to hold Kody.
She doesn't have to hold accountability.
She doesn't have to hold Kody accountable.
I don't know why that sentence was so hard for me.
And even really, like she doesn't have to say to Meri like
this is ridiculous or and you know, like she just she's like
Switzerland but dumb. Yeah, she doesn't like, say I'm
sorry he spoke to you like that, Meri, or I'm going to go
talk to him, or maybe I should go and drive for him.
She offers no solutions. She just plays dumb.
Yeah, she's doesn't even have to play it most of the time.
If I may point out is what Kody does too.
Like with the dog situation, he was going to just play dumb and
pretend that the dog disappeared and then Meri would
have taken the fucking blame for that.
We all know that because it's her dog in quotations and if it
disappeared it would have been her fault.
He won't take accountability for things because he'd rather be
the good guy. Robyn won't take accountability
for things because she'd rather play stupid and keep sweet and
be The Good Wife. There are two peas in a dirty
Peapod. Yes, and that was a really good
parallel right there. Like putting those out because
it's very true. It's yucky.
Meri wonders. What's he mad about?
Is he mad that I can drive? I'm not tired, I can drive, It's
not a big deal. But don't you know, Meri, that
women can't drive? Like, come on, of course he's
angry. So Kody returns to the RV and
says, OK, we're leaving right now.
And Meri's like, OK. And I just love it because Meri
is not, she's not giving him an inch with this.
She is just like, OK, sounds good.
Thanks sweetie. All right, PT fucking keen,
please choke on a jawbreaker. So good, so good.
I was so team married during this whole exchange.
I was just like, don't let him get under your skin and don't
let him run everything with his anger.
I was just over it. But you've also got your like,
best little bitch Robyn sitting next to you, sitting bitch and
pretending that she's kind of on your side but also not.
Yeah, there was just something about Meri's nonverbals and the
way that she was sitting and the way that she was not going to,
like, meet him in the level that I was like, fuck yes, Meri.
The way her wrinkles were like set, they were just like not
taking any of it. Not a wrinkle.
It's the spray tan. The spray tan has set into those
little wrinkly rings. Continues to do that.
So now we're going to be approaching Topeka, KS.
Darling, this is going to be so exciting.
Topeka just outside of Topeka, KS.
Oh, but you just glossed over this whole thing like they did.
They go back to the couch and Kody just reiterates that he was
just so exhausted. So let's stop talking about my
lack of brain function. And then it's like a bad sitcom
where they hit the little tit, Ding Ding and move on.
You're right, I didn't do that.
You just glossed over it like they did.
They just literally were like, that's the end of that fight,
right? Totally.
Like Kody just looked like a crazy person who's insane and
bad. And it's like, chalk it up to
Kody, me and Kody. Yeah, it's totally even like
cartoons and sitcoms, right? Like the absent husband, absent
minded husband, the idiot. Yeah, wife eats the shit pie and
then let's move on. So ridiculous.
Typical man for me to just skip over that God.
Damn it, Christopher. Please forgive me I had some
women math with that Meri found a place when going online to
research their trip called Truck Henge Truck.
Henge like Stonehenge but better one might say.
Far more inspiring, Truck Henge is basically a bunch of trucks
that are cemented into the ground vertically.
Now to give you an idea of the setting before we're introduced
to the person who owns and runs Truck Henge, which I'm really
struggling with saying, they show us a few shots of these
trucks and other vehicles vertical into the ground,
surrounded by fields and trees and dumpy looking property.
Not manicured, not anything, just kind of like rural vibes
with. You mean like rural Topeka, KS?
With vehicles sticking out of
the ground vertically. It's almost like a tornado went
through there and a bunch of vehicles landed in vertical
positions, but we meet a national treasure.
Yes, we do. One Ron Lessman looking like
he's been kicked in a tooth or two.
Kicked in a tooth or two. Ron is wearing AT shirt that
says you say psycho like it's a bad thing, written in a fun
font. And I was like, oh, Ron, you're
just, you're right. He's a treasure.
He really is. He tells the story about how
Truck Henge came to be and essentially what it boils down
to is that the county was sick of his shit and sick of his
trash and they told him that he needed to pick up the trucks.
Well, the county came with a search warrant and told him he
had to pick up his trucks. Now, honey, before we get into
some of his storytelling with this incident, how do we
describe Ron? Like he's got a crazy beard.
Like he looks like the like a a mountain man, but there's no
mountains. Like a mountain man slash
hippie. Yes, yes.
He's a degenerate. He's a degenerate.
I know right, like fresh forward a little.
That's what a little bit to when Christine talks about how he's
like he doesn't trust the government and he's a weirdo and
just all of those kind of stereotypes put onto a person.
Like he has been kicked to the tooth.
He's got this crazy mangy beard thing going on.
He's wearing this insane shirt that says you say psycho like
it's a bad thing and he looks like he hasn't talked to another
human in like 5 years. He looks like a conspiracy
theorist. Like he perhaps has a tinfoil or
two that fit him very well. Yes, and maybe him or his
sister. Wife or his sister.
Wife, His sister you wish. Wife he.
Fucking wishes he even says so later.
Makes meth in their bathroom or something like it's, it's a
look, it's a whole thing. So he tells us the county came
with a search warrant and told him he had to pick up his
trucks. Pick them up.
So he says. So I picked him up.
When he does this, he gestures.
How do we describe this honey? He flips the bird with both
hands and as he's telling the story about what he does and
that he did what the county said and he put them up and he flips
off everybody, all of the children, the adults.
When he's describing this, like picking them up or putting them
up, putting up the trucks, he does that gesture that you do
when you're flicking someone off.
More than just putting up like flipping the bird, he's like
taking his hand and putting it into his elbow and shoving his
arm up and doing the whole crazy gesture.
I'm pretty sure that's like a British thing like that.
Super offensive like over in the UK.
Too If it's British but it's like a it's more than just
flipping the bird with your hand.
It's like middle finger up in the air, hand in elbow, blah
blah blah. It's this big dramatic gesture.
Hand in your ditch.
Hand in the ditch. Of your elbow, that's what they
call it when you get tattooed there.
The ditch. The ditch, the ditch, and then
there's the truck in the ditch and his hands in the ditch.
And they blur out his middle finger in his hand because of
course it's obscene. And so he does this gesture when
telling this story to the whole family.
Like it's a little out of nowhere.
It's unexpected, and it looks crazy.
It looks insane. But the children don't react as
horribly as I would have expected because they they go on
and on about Logan swearing in multiple episodes now and then
you've got this guy like flipping the bird, but not even
just like flipping the bird. He's doing like the arm and hand
movement with it. That's like super meant to be
more aggressive and more offensive than just solo birds
and the children have a little bit of a non reaction.
Yeah, it's like they're just telling the story.
Of course, TLC, what they're blurring does make it even more
dramatic, I think. But, you know, Ron continues
with his story. They tried to bring public
nuisance charges in court and I said, your honor, they told me
to put him up, so I picked him off.
So I put him up. It's like, oh God.
And then he does the arm gestures again as if he was in
court, giving the middle finger and gesturing to the judge.
Literally every time that he says put him up, he flips the
bird and flips off the children and the dogs and the parents
and every other bug and bird and everything in the area.
It's like, Oh no, so offensive, as Christine points out.
Yes, very offensive. So then there's a photo
opportunity for Aspen to stand next to Ron Lessman, and on the
other side is Maddie and Tara, Robyn's sister.
They're standing in a row and they're all flipping off the
camera, laughing. And Christine goes, are darling
teenagers. Darling teenagers.
Kody takes this moment to look at the camera and say, I had no
idea I was raising a bunch of hippies while giving a peace
sign. And it's like, yeah, that's.
What the hippies do. I guess the hippies just flip
off cameras. I don't know, just Kody.
He's just an idiot. The best part of this scene for
me is that Truly on like the side of the camera, like on the
left side is like chasing the dog and trying to grab the dog's
tail repeatedly. And you got like bald truly and
she's tall at this point. Like you got tall little bald
truly and she's like trying to catch the dog's tail.
And it's one of the cutest, like stupidest things ever.
And I just couldn't not look at it.
It was fucking adorable but also hilarious.
That is funny. She's just so cute.
And so we go back to the couch and Kody is talking about this
and he found him super entertaining and he just loves
farmer style hoarding. And Christine is offended,
Offended she didn't like him. She's like, is this real?
Really? No, no, no.
Yeah, Well, this is going on. The families, like, exploring
the truck are like, they're going around and taking photos
in front of the, like, various vehicles that are sticking out
of the ground and kind of like taking their little roads, like
pit stop, blah, blah, blah. And Christine is talking about
how he lives in the middle of nowhere and he hates the
government. Kody just thinks that this is so
funny. And Kody goes, well, they told
him to put him up. So he put him up.
And then Kody flips the camera off on the couch and then
Christine goes, Oh my God, you just did it again.
You just flipped people off. Yes, yes.
So. Funny, she's like offended on
the behalf of the audience of all the TLC fans that are
watching. Like you flipped them off.
And it's like we're on a soundstage.
Oh no. Yeah, and we get some more, you
know, details about Ron's feelings and Ron's beliefs.
And he says something along the lines, if you want to have five
wives, it's the American way. Like OK, do what you.
Want. Nobody should care.
You should be able to do what you want.
That's the American way. That's the American way.
It's like, all right. But he is telling the kids this,
like as he's saying this in the clip that they show, he's kind
of walking with a few of the boys, like not the young, young
boys, but like the medium age boys.
And he's like telling them, I just think that you should be
able to do what you want. That's America.
And so in a way, I do think that his message is pertinent to
the family. Like, yes, he's doing this crazy
thing and Christine's like, is this real?
He's really acting this way with the government and the this
and the that. But it's like you are too, lady.
Like you are flipping off the government in your own way
because they don't believe that plural marriage is recognized
in the law of the United States.
So like you're giving a bird. This guy's giving a bird kind of
all evens out, don't you think?
I do. The thing that stood out to me
about his example is like, if you want to have five wives,
it's the American way. And it's like Kody has four
wives. Yeah, like this guy is like high
off the grass growing underneath his truck.
Seriously, he's his message. Yes, the root of it might be
good, but Oh my gosh, it's a little Cray Cray.
Yeah, he is smoking. What is growing inside of the
perfect, perfect greenhouse, which is one of those trucks
swooped upside down, the devil's lettuce.
Oh God, under one of those trucks and just this man, I I'm
just, he's probably in heaven out in truck hedge.
And yes, his triage, yes, Kody says that the kids were
entertained like you're saying, and he was entertained and it
sounds like a much needed breather from the driving.
Yeah, and then they cut out to the kids spray painting graffiti
on one of the trucks, like he's allowing them to all graffiti
the trucks before they leave. It's art, honey.
It's art to him. It sure is.
Then the Browns hit the road again.
And then they get into the Pony Express RV Park.
Very late Pony Express Shout out to the Pony Express RV park.
Are they still open? Let us know.
Yeah. Are you around?
Can we stop in with? The brown curse after we hitting
the Pony Express RV park. Yes, Kody looks absolutely
exhausted. Robyn tells us that the hotel is
12 miles away. And then Kody's upset because he
didn't know this. We didn't know that he would
have to like drop everyone off and do all these things and then
go to the hotel that's 12 miles away.
It seems like not a big deal, but also I guess after the end
of a long day you don't want to drive 12 miles and then
probably drive back so. Well, it looks like he's being
made to set up some stuff with the RV before he leaves, and
he's probably on the rotation to go to the hotel, yes.
So he's like pissed because he's setting up stuff at the
campsite and then he goes, I'll be going to bed at one or two.
AM again tonight or Kody? And so Kody approaches the RV
with Meri in the passenger seat and opens the door.
And Kody says, I don't plan on leaving here early tomorrow
because I'm done. And Meri goes, I don't think you
need to be barking at me about it, OK?
You're going at it again. So bad, I'm ready to stop
camping. And we haven't even gotten there
yet. It's like, yeah, OK, You're
referring to it as camping again, which I guess maybe some
people are camping, but everyone's tired and frustrated.
Yeah, like they're all tired and frustrated.
They're all on the same journey.
Well, Christine even says like Kody, you're the only one
complaining. They have to have another adult
meeting, of course, where Kody says he needs more sleep at
night and Christine goes, good call, we need to fix it from
here on out. And Meri says, we say that every
night and nothing ever changes.
And I'm like, yes, Meri, I am So Team Meri on this episode,
everyone wants to talk about things being different.
No one wants to talk about how to make them different.
Like fucking shut up. Like if I was Meri, I'd be like,
Yep, everyone says that every night and nothing ever changes.
So true, Meri. And then Kody suggests that they
have planned too much. Oh boy.
And. Christine responds by saying
they've basically planned to do nothing but drive.
Which is totally true. They went to Truck Henge and
they have been driving non-stop and they're pony.
Stop. Pony.
Express pawn shop. Pawn shop in Utah, The Pony
Express. They're going pee every now and
then for an hour at a time. They literally have planned
very, very little and Kody is suggesting they plan too much.
What a shock. And Kody says, well, I can't go
every single night with four hours of sleep.
And Christine's like, well, Kody, you're the only one
complaining. We're all trying to make it
work. And I'm just like, what's the
fucking rush? Why is this the way that it is?
You know, unless it's for like filming and production and there
is like no budget to do this longer.
If this is summer break, which they're making it seem like, why
does this have to be a seven day trip?
Why is there three days of travel one way, one day at your
destination, which is, Oh my God, we're going back to our
homeland? Our Jerusalem.
And you're planning it and like
making this trip so quick and now you're all arguing and
you're fighting. Like what is the rush?
What's the rush? I don't get it.
This is where Kody gathers everyone for a prayer.
Darling, speak to God. Kody.
Kody calls a prayer circle.
Kody And he points out to us that when he's getting close to
losing his temper, it's a good thing to call on God so you
don't hurt other people's feelings calling on God.
He's calling on God to help him maintain his peaceful
disposition. Yes, yeah, because Kody has such
a peaceful disposition and he gives us some more, you know,
therapy speak, but whatever. It's like in a family like ours,
it's important to keep things emotionally safe.
And I'm far from good at this, but I'm trying.
And Meri is on the couch tearing up.
Odd. She's like trying not to cry.
Is it, do you think, because she's like aware that everyone
was frustrated and it was terrible, or is she moved that
he's like talking about calling on God?
I think that this is one of those moments where there's more
going on behind the scenes than we know about.
And who knows when they're recording the actual couch
interviews and the fact that he's talking about calling on
God. I don't know what she's
thinking, but she is tearing up.
And they show it probably on purpose to be like, oh, he's
such a good family man. He's calling on God.
He's calling his family around to pray right now to make it
through this. Like, oh God, I just want to
talk about how ridiculous that is.
First of all, we're calling on the Lord baby Jesus to get us
through this road trip that we planned that we're rushing
through. But also like his wife is
tearing up about it. I just, I can't with these
people. I just can't.
It's a little bizarre. I remember noting it or noticing
it and not connecting the dots on why it was so emotional.
Because I don't think that there is really technically a reason
that's ever going to be presented to us other than the
fact that like they're trying to sell it as look at this family
man and his wife just thinks he's so special.
Well, he definitely is special, but not for reasons that they
might be trying to make us think.
So, darling, I feel like this is a good time to take a break to
gather our thoughts, our strengths.
Maybe we could go call on God and ask Him for some favors and
some direction so we can recalibrate and come back next
week with Part 2 of this fabulous episode.
We're going to start on Day 4 of this road trip.
Remember, they were going to be there in three days.
Tomorrow we're starting Day 4 for Part 2, 2 of this episode.
I'm going to call on God and he's going to come in the form
of a worm at the bottom of the bottle of tequila that we're
about to open. Yes.
I'll say a little prayer for you.
See you next week.