None. Welcome everybody to campaigns
and concoctions where we are a bunch of recovered rascals who
like to drink and play TTRPGS. Well, we recovered from the
holidays. We were tired.
We were tired troubadours last week last time, so we recovered
rascals this time. So you know, I'm.
Actually impressed that you're here after the three feet of
fresh powder in the mountains, right?
Right. But thank you everyone so much
for joining us on this adventure of cooperative storytelling.
As always, if you want to get more involved with us, you can
point, point, point, point, point and now you can see us
point, point, point, point. You can click on the link below.
You can get us on the Discord, the Instagram, all of those
things. Also special bonus now if you
fall. Uh, oh, I hope that I see things
struggling over there on your side.
If you if you are watching through the Spotify app, you can
see our lovely faces. Hopefully here soon you will
have a we will have a YouTube channel possibly coming up here
soon, hopefully. So yeah, that is one thing.
We are making moves. I don't know where they're
going, but we're moving. They're.
Moves. They're moves.
So but thank you as always.
We know as we talked about the last time with our recap, we are
nothing without you guys. We thank you so much.
And as always, does anyone got something they want to share?
Yeah, so I'm currently painting a Giant Dragon mini.
It's going to be the copper dragon that they got us from.
Should be really cool. I.
Posted some reels but I'm going to post probably a post sometime
this week where the progress I'm at and continue to post as I do
more. And then also I ran with TTRPG
for my For Curtis and Eyes Girls and it went really well.
Ages 9 and 6:40. 29 year olds, 26 year olds.
And yeah, you just, you just kind of know things with Evil,
which is a game for kids on as a base and then made some tweaks
to that that I really liked. So if anybody has kids, reach
out to us on Discord and I. You'd be surprised how good
little girls are with imagination and you're like,
they're not going to be good at this.
And then they're just like, what do you do?
And they're come up with shit and you're like, yeah, you do.
That was, like, really, really good.
When I was a kid there I was playing the house and Barbies
and shit like that, and little boys were just bunching each
other in the face. Sorry for the little technical
difficulties, still figuring it out.
But thank you. Thank you Jared for sharing.
We got that far at least of like the the system and everything.
Thank you for sharing all that. That's awesome.
I think that's super cool. Plus there were they were
rolling damage like I do so. No, just the one.
The other ones were killing it. This Aubrey was struggling.
She was rolling one. She's a future DM12.
She's a future DM. I don't disagree.
She's the one that came up with the origin story for the For
Haven form. See.
There you go that. Was pretty awesome.
Anyone else got any more thing they want to share real quick?
I made it into the quarterfinals for Dos Hombres Barbas.
I don't think I'm going to make it out of the quarterfinals.
I think I'm probably going to lose here, but if I don't lose
in the quarterfinals and you want to go vote for me, that
would be super tight because by the time this gets online it'll
be too late. Or I'll have made it past the
quarterfinals And I've got a really bad ass Mezcal cocktail
that I will be submitting in the next couple of days for a
secondary competition for Dos Hombres.
And once that is submitted, I will be sharing it on the on the
podcast as well. So our next session, next
episode, I'll share that cocktail.
Excellent. Speaking of cocktails, what are
we drinking? I made a beverage for our friend
Dustin here. It's called a sour for sours and
it is. I've been I've been toying
around with the yogurt way that has been a byproduct of making a
bunch of Greek yogurt at my house recently and it is really
nice in sour drinks. It's super cool.
It's. It adds a like extra body and
fluffiness to a drink that you wouldn't expect it will.
It will dilute your beverage down, so you need to pay
attention and use some overproof spirits or you make sure you put
and it also will add some sourness to it, which is why
we're calling that one. So.
This is used in the Morgenthaler template for an Emirate of sour.
So it's 1 1/2 ounces of the plum liqueur which has the lid.
Choya Choya has a 3/4 of an ounce of the plum whiskey from
Japan which is called Ume Ume and it has 3/4 an ounce of lemon
juice, an ounce of yogurt, whey, a little bit of salt and you dry
shake that. Then you ice shake that.
Then you double strain it and you put a cocktail cherry on top
and you just bask in the in the plum and the sour.
Delightful. I made a Negroni with one ounce
Roku gin, one ounce Dolan vermouth, and one ounce of
Leopold's Apertivo, which is a distiller here in Denver.
Very nice. I made a mezcal coffee martini.
I'm not going to call it an espresso martini.
Oh yeah, go for it. So it was an ounce and a half
of. I don't remember the name of the
mezcal, but it doesn't really matter that much because they're
not giving us any money or bottles.
Oz and 1/2 of a relatively smoky mezcal, 1/2 ounce of the Cantera
Negra coffee liqueur, 1/2 ounce of Saint George Cafe Nola coffee
liqueur, 1/2 ounce of a verna, 1/2 ounce of Montenegro, and 1/4
ounce of Aperol. There are no added sugars,
There's nothing else in it. It's just a bunch of booze.
And it is. Pretty.
Tasty. It's like one of the better
espresso martinis. I think every drink needs some
needs, some Amaro in. It you, you just said that you
weren't going to call it an espresso martini.
And you? Just.
Called it, but we just called it one no I.
Referred to it. I referred to it as an espresso
martini that have no espresso in it.
Yeah, with with espresso martinis, cold brew martinis,
whatever you want to call them. I always use Averna, usually 1/2
ounce. I always use about 1/4 ounce to
1/2 ounce of Aperol. People do not understand how
these things interact with your palate.
As far as coffee flavors go, Averna has a very strong vanilla
flavor to it. Pastry like very.
Pastry. Like vanilla, it's one of the
sweetest amaros out there. Sweetest Amari Apharol has a
sweetness to it, but it has a lot of bitter notes.
And those bitter notes grapefruit bring out, Yeah,
often associated with grapefruit.
But those bitter notes bring out the bitterness and the acidity
of coffee the same way that the vanilla and the chocolatey notes
of Averna bring out the sweetness, the vanilla and the
chocolate of coffee. They just amplify those coffee
flavors so that you don't have to douse the thing in cold brew
or espresso or coffee liquor. Awesome.
Well, with that, let's get into our recap because this is going
to be kind of heavy. Because it has.
Been two months almost since we last played D&D together.
So the last couple of times that we gathered together, the party
had reconvened back at the Manager's Tower where they got
the information about the relic that was underneath Fort
Vengeance, which is the home of the Tinker Marian Foreign
Legion. Eventually getting aboard of the
Cherlene, they made their way north and they did their
entrance, you know. Hero landing.
Superhero landings. They were posers.
Good pose.
They met with some some of the the officers and Ncos of the the
the legion up to and including a general Omara, who is a goblin
woman who is the commander of the legion.
And they got a little bit of information about what they had
found about some of this, these old ancient ruins that are so
technologically advanced that no one seems to actually understand
or comprehend how they work. And then they were given a
guide, a Lieutenant, Ramla Al Jamal, who was guiding them down
into this underground lair. They made it into the very first
hall, took a a right and instantly met came to a room
where they found advanced weaponry, advanced armor, hollow
admitters, all of these things where they could just the
technology was so so much more advanced than anything that they
had ever seen, even being in the old ruins before they make.
They went to down to the next door on the right, bypassing a
few other doors, and as they went in they found a room filled
with large cylinders, some broken, some still intact.
The intact ones were filled with kind of this glowing green
liquid, and it appeared to be some sort of humanoid figure
inside. And after a couple of
investigations they found they found some panels that had quite
a few buttons and they decided to hit the green button, which
as Scald and let me get to the right person, Scald and Essaway
were about to exit the room. The doors locked, the remaining
capsules opened, and six creatures, humanoid creatures,
stepped out. Thank you I.
Remember. You just played a.
Lot didn't. We killed one.
Killed. One of the two which got us down
to six got us down. To.
Five. He got you down to five, so
there were six, but that it got you down to 5.
Oh, OK. All right.
Thank God. Thank God.
Yeah, I do remember. Well, because I very distinctly
remember Al killing the One and Skull being like, bro, you're
like just killing shit without knowing what it is.
It's kind of fucked up. And I was like, all right, if
you say so and then Green, it turns out Skelb was wrong.
He wanted. Us to all kill them.
Yes, yes. He was like, we should just kill
them all. And Skelb was like, what if we
fight them on accident? Yeah.
And they're awesome also. Temporary hit points.
Really cool. For those of you who are now
participants in the in the Spotify or on YouTube, you can
now see our battle map. Yay.
So here we are. And create points and they
regenerate every turn. Oh Nope, the other way.
All right. I'm really excited about this I.
Try something. I'm sorry if we do technical
difficulty. I forgot.
What we were actually doing in this session and I was like,
Nathan has been here for one of our sessions before and it was a
shopping episode and he fell asleep 30 minutes in on the
couch. So I'm really excited that he's
here for us to get our asses completely handed to us today.
It is a distinct possibility that you will get your ass
handed to you today. And also say hi Nate.
Hi, everybody. Say say hi to Nate.
I'm messing with the camera. Oh yeah, the other night too.
There's two of us. That's weird.
TPKTPK once. I've been playing D&D for 8
fucking years. No, not a single.
TPK and. I once.
I feel like Curtis almost TPK D you guys while I was gone
though. I kept you from TPK, ING
yourselves in one campaign. I remember that very distinctly.
Should happen. Yeah, definitely should happen.
So. What have?
We. Learned for that.
Day as as the Let us die do it again as the the the creatures
step. Out, yeah.
On. The of the step out of the
their, their tubes. I need everyone to roll
initiative. I also have.
No surprise around here. I also remember making a.
Very clever joke, indirectly referencing a classic sci-fi
horror movie franchise as a mummer's shadow puppet show.
I don't. I.
Don't. I don't know if I go.
Very clever. I remember you making a joke.
That salad. I get you.
Thank you. Clever is a pretty low bar
though, Matt. It is a pretty, he said.
Very. OK.
That's fair.
He is raising the bar. It was.
Somewhat.
Clever you. Think that's?
The potential to be clever, yes. Who did you cast Heroism on?
Me and I believe Nate. Yeah, I.
Believe I'm running. Falsely, unless somebody else is
somebody else just right down there.
Sounds right next to you. Jared, you are.
The buttons at first I know that and I was too.
Jared, you are. You do have.
Fat half life, Life. Life running OK I have 1010
hipary temporary hitch points written down and as.
Well. No, I cast false life on myself.
Oh. OK, so how many?
10 hip one Sorry 10. I.
Have 10 as well. We're gonna need it.
Increased your hip points by 40%.
I think it's wrong. Yeah, I think by the.
Way he used to have. Here you go.
I have. I have. 20.
Constitutions. Oh no, it's 5.
It's yeah, you're definitely fine with me.
Then all right. Why I?
Don't. I don't actually know how to
play DND. It's.
OK. All right, y'all.
What do we What do we got? 20 to 25.
Yes, 23, OK. We're shocked.
Yeah. Yeah. 15 to 20.
The trace at 18. It's fine, it's fine.
It's. Fine 10 to 15.
L's got 13, that's the way also has 13.
Sid also has 13. Oh yeah.
That's a stack. What do you have?
Oh, what one? Total of 6 off of an at 1:00.
Give me the Lord drink, motherfucker.
Drink by the fucking drink. I don't have a shot glass, but I
do have this wonderful gift that one of my other DND players gave
me for the completion of our last campaign.
When they came and saw saw me, well, they did.
They were over here and then they saw me.
But I have some diplomatical rum.
So Oh yeah. I should probably ask Rob what I
for your. It's wonderful.
I'm proud of the level of restraint I shoved just now and
waiting until Morgan asked to force us all to.
Drink, dude. I was thinking about it in my
head. I was like, do we have any
drink? Motherfuckers because like.
Should be getting. A Sure, Right.
We rolled it. Some dice.
Yeah, we rolled some dice. I'd say one of us fucked up or
scored big. One of the other wasted a 20 on
the initiative, right? Yeah, exactly.
Either way, somebody fucked up. Right.
All right. We are starting just.
Got to roll the ones out of that dice.
Had a 23 with Sark. I'm going to move to the closest
one. OK, right there.
Yep, that works. Bonus action.
I'm casting hex on it. OK.
And it has disadvantage on the Strength ability checks that's
part of the hex. OK, cool and.
Then I'm going to punch him. Punch, punch.
Punch. Only twice.
Punch and I punch. Because I used my bonus action
already with your law and order, what are they called again?
Oh yeah, I have thoughts and prayers.
Is enchanted. But we should we should just go.
Yeah. Yeah.
One of them's a natural 20. In.
The right direction? So that's a total of 29 to hit.
It just hits. It just hits.
The other one is an 18 bed. That hits. 29. 18 Awful I think
we should drive Jared's door just a little bit for a moment.
There I'm running. So you guys have.
Fun. The door lock, I don't blame.
Him to go. OK, guys, OK.
Sorry, yeah, sorry, I'm rolling. I was trying to look for stuff.
I think it. Means it was rolling damage.
Yeah, I just don't remember where thoughts and prayers are
right now. I will.
Think they're plus? What?
I don't think they're just plus ones.
I think they had something to do with your wisdom and
intelligence, didn't they? No one of them gave me Smite.
One of them does Psyche. One of them does radiant damage.
Right, right, right. OK.
I'll swing first with thoughts. Just because it's.
That works from now. So what happens when you don't
play D&D for two months, folks? That's what happens when you
move, and I think it's in a different book.
That also is a thing, yeah. I'll figure out that in a
moment, but for now, the natural Tawani does what's about for 13
points of bludgeoning damage. OK.
I almost forgot to get an add damage for my hex.
Double that dice too, right? 358 points of necrotic damage.
Crap. The second one is 6 points of
bludgeoning. 6 points of necrotic.
Curtis found stuff for me, so it's AD four of psychic on
thought. That one's doubled.
That's four points of psychic damage, which means the other
one's a four points of radiant or AD 4 radiant.
Yeah, it is AD 4 radiant for four points of radiant damage.
OK, I think I got all that correct.
So the creature is going to use one of its legendary actions to
bite you. Great.
You guys think I'm fucking around?
Come on. Nope.
Morgan, when have we thought you've ever been fucking around?
Stop acting like we do. See every fucking around you
did. That is the 25 to hit.
Just it actually hits the. Time it does just hit 21 AM.
You're going to take 11 points of piercing damage.
OK. I feel like I'm reading the the
running rules. We're.
The. Xander's.
They're all. Over on the shelf now.
All. Right.
Anything else, Sark? I should have asked that first
before he took his legendary action, but it all fuck fucking
works it'll be. Fine.
No, it's fine. I was debating to use Action
Surge right now because he bit me, but I'm not going to be.
Clear. All right.
Next up is Patrice. All right, so Patrice is kind of
on the flank there. He's next to L and he's next to
Sid. He's gonna move over just to the
right of Sid. I think it's either there or one
up. Maybe it depends.
And then I'm going to cast at Level 5, I'm going to cast
Spirit Guardians. OK.
Nice. Which should be a OK 15 foot
radius around me. Around you, OK.
Yeah, center around me. So move on.
Is it? 8 Plus Stat Plus prop.
Yes, 10. 8. For.
DCDC is yes, spelled DC. OK.
Yeah. Can I see that how big the
radius is on there? I really can't give much scale.
On this mouth. Does it have an emanate light?
I'm sure it does, but I'll just do this.
Yeah, that'd be great. That is 15 feet there.
OK. Can you park me between Elle and
Sid then, please? OK.
And then hopefully that hits the three guys up top.
Should. I'm pretty sure it'll hit all of
them. Great.
Yep. Sweet.
That is a I'm going to do that, and then as a bonus action I'm
going to cast Synaptic Static Nice at those guys up there
using my Quicken spell Meta magic.
As one dice. And so Synaptic static, they
have to roll an Intelligence save, I believe.
One caveat to that, and I'm a little worried about casting
this now, but it's too late. If they have an Intelligence
score of two or lower, they are not affected by it.
It does not that that does not matter.
OK, so. We're going to have a 12A12 and
an 11 to save. None of them saved.
Yes, thank God. And they're going to take 8D6
psychic damage on a failed save. That's fucking huge.
That's. Huge level 5 stuff.
Yeah, yeah, they take that. OK, so that's ten out of the
first one and then 15 on the next 1.
So it's 25 psychic damage, and then once they fail to save
their tar, the target is muddled for a whole minute.
During that time, it rolls AD 6 and subtracts that number rolled
from all its attack rolls. Ability checks.
Constitution saving throws to maintain concentration.
The target can make an Intelligence saving throw at the
end of its turn, ending the effect on itself on a success.
OK. So make sure you remind me.
I will do that also so that you're aware my DC is a 19 for
the checks. Is a save an ability check, but
an ability check is not a save? Is that correct?
Yes, but no. They're separate.
Completely separate. Yes, because hex doesn't work on
saves. Saves and ability checks are
completely separate. All right, Death saves are an
ability check though, I believe. No saves.
Are. No, It gets funky.
It doesn't really matter. No initiative is an ability
check. That's it, yeah.
That's what it is. That's the.
One gotcha. OK, Patrice, anything else?
Not on this turn. OK, so it is now the creatures
is is is turn. Oh.
No. They are going to these three up
here. Oh, that's not what I want.
I want this. These three are going to drop
the 10 feet. Before they come down, several
Wisdom saves. OK.
If they're inside the inside the thing.
And I ain't rolling like shit tonight.
Your Guardians is so cool. Oh no.
So I got a 14, a 14 and a natural one.
OK. I got.
The last so they take 3D eight radiant damage OK and their
speed is haft. OK.
They take 12 radiant damage. And Curtis Spritz, Malort on
that one's on our side of the table.
Everybody drinks when Morgan doesn't have one, and then
everybody drinks when anybody. Gets an H1.
OK. So and then so everything else
is where it's going to be. So we're going to start at the
top. The one to the left is going to
attack L first attack with its bite.
Negative. That is it.
Thank you. It's an epic static, right?
They have to roll AD 6 and subtract that from their attack.
Roll. So that's a 13.
Nope. It's second attack is going to
be its claws. I'm.
Not surprised when leveled that. That's a 21 to hit.
After the D6? Damn.
Yes. I'm going to use my reaction to
cast shield. There we go.
And he misses. There you go.
The one who is immediate, right, he's going to roll his D6, OK.
He's going to make his bite attack against elk because he's
directly in front. That's that's going to miss
completely. That's that's a natural.
One Yes motherfucker. Drinks.
Yeah, we can pull our drinks. Years of.
Ciders in the fridge, All right, Alcoholic seltzers.
That's OK. All right, The one in front of
Patrice is going to attack Patrice and that is a 16 to hit.
That does not hit. OK, the claw attack.
And I am concentrating by the way.
Is going to be a another 16 to hit.
So that, yeah, that doesn't, that doesn't hit.
Excellent. All right, the one in front of
Sark is going to attack with his bite.
Jesus. I went from rolling like shit to
rolling like an absolute maniac that is a 28 to hit I.
Mean you're rolling. You're rolling the negative V6
that. Is not, not.
Counting guy. Yeah, that's fine Can.
We sit the attack here after Sark, yeah.
I'm I. Don't have any of my stuff up to
help with this yet, but I will in a moment.
So that's. That's what a Nat one gets.
Myself, we're fine. Cool.
You take 19 points of piercing damage.
OK. And it's Claws that's going to
be a 23 to hit. Yeah, that one still hits.
And you're going to take nine points of slashing.
Oh, I'm hurting now. Yeah.
All right, Next up is the one in front of S away.
Yeah. God damn it, that's a 15 to hit.
15 misses. There we go.
Natural 20. Drink, motherfucker, Drink,
drink. This is a big start.
Yeah, we've been saving up for two months.
We got to unleash. Rolling out all the ones and
20s. Rolling out all my beverage.
Get it? Right.
Yeah, that too. That too.
I'm gonna drink. Water for you?
Take 24 points of slashing damage.
Oh, that. Was so.
Fun That's rough. Little bit rough, Oh.
Well, I I haven't had a chance to get the No, you can't go
right, Right. That's fine.
All right. That.
Is the creature's turn. It is now the trifecta of Sid, L
and SOA. Right.
I mean, I'm I'm quick if you guys want.
Me to go, OK. Perfect.
So I'm going to hit the one that just hit me.
OK. So I get 5 temporary hit points
back real quick. What is the stack order of me
and SOA? SOA is here.
You're here. You're here.
Gotcha creatures. There.
Thank you. Why do I think?
Why do I think with me and Sark over there?
No, it's me. I'm over here.
Yeah. I'm off by my lonesome and we're
gonna have a throw down at the moment, yeah?
OK, so I I will make an attack with my.
HP. Natural 20.
Jesus. Fucker drinking.
Jesus. How many?
Even is that we've had what, 5? Net.
Ones. We've had.
Three net 20s and three natural ones.
Jesus. All right, so.
The dice want us to get sloshed before we get.
In apparently, yeah. I'm going to be my CEO tomorrow.
Hey, I've got I. Found that out like 3 hours ago.
My, my, my. Only good thing is that in the
morning I meet, I'm meeting with a bunch of student veterans
band. They don't give a shit if I'm
hungover. Yeah.
They probably are. All right, they expected, right?
So I did. Defensive flourish about my AC,
that is. It was the.
Weekend A 15 points of flashing damage and I need a con save.
We check we can Jason. Yeah.
Yeah, we can, Jason. That's a 7.
Also weak, Jason. That guy's blinded for I believe
a minute. Let me double check.
OK, Terribly. That's me thing.
I'm sorry. Blinded for one minute.
And then? No, it's perfect.
It goes to Jason. Just one one other thing while
you guys continue doing all of your stuff.
So I'm going to go to the bathroom before it's my turn in
20 minutes. Aren't you next?
No, we got two more on this. I got to make my second account.
21. That hits.
The another 14 points of slashing damage on that guy.
OK, there's only one over there, right?
Yeah. OK.
Cool. That is Matern.
Is that John? Yeah, he's got crazy allergies
right now blowing his. Nose.
It sounds like he just. Thought, I thought.
Nathan wasn't ready for it like. Wow, so long I've been hearing
that all. Day.
Ellen's Ted, What do you guys got?
If you want to go, go ahead. So I'll take a step forward
towards the monsters to this open space.
I mean, you're already in melee range.
No, I know I'm doing a thing. Step 20 next to it.
Yes, you are. I know what you're doing.
Please, I need to hear what he's saying.
So I'm yeah, I'm stepping to the.
Right of the last monster in the just one up.
OK. And then we're doing Tasha's
Caustic Brew at 4th level. Everybody needs to make a
Dexterity saving throw against. Here's my saving throw.
Oh, it's on my spell. Sheet.
OK, starting from left to right I have a 16.
No a. 22 and A7. OK, fail.
Succeed. Fail.
So I've. Been doing this for like 8
years. 44 Oh no reading 45D4. Two pause.
Thank you. I have enough all.
Right. And that's three, seven or
6/10/15, yeah. Oh.
Zero on a save or half on a save.
Hang on, I think it might be pretty much as soon.
So they'll be covered in acid. Oh, they're covered in it for
the duration, so they're going to take Sorry, I will roll on
their turn. Sorry.
Beginning of their turn, I will roll damage.
My bad. What about the one who takes?
Over encryption, so opportunity. Just the two.
Yeah. There's an additional damage and
then on their turn. No, there's no additional.
It's just on their turn they're covered in acid.
They will take back the beginning of each of their turns
they take. 5D4 damage, like spirit guardians or something
like that. There's not an initial.
Until they or they can take a turn to wipe it off and they
don't take the damage, that's. Not bad.
Right. OK.
I. Mean we've seen a turn against
us that can be very. It's been a long time since
we've done combat. It has been a very long time.
Not you now. Yeah.
All right. Oh no, I'm going to do, oh, that
was sorry. I was action I was going to use.
Sorry failing, I was quickened and then I'm going to just do an
attack with my warhammer on the one next to me.
Pops and tops. That's going to be plus 619 to
hit. 19. Hits, and that's with Green
Flame Bade. So they're going to what level
are we 5th? You guys are?
I'm probably going to see where this get comes again. 17. 11th
We're not there yet, SO1D8 plus. No, we're 10.
SO2D8 plus 2D8 plus my spell. Casting.
Yeah. We were picking up.
We were 11 by two 80s. We are one level away from me
being broken. As fuck.
Oh God damn. So that's 2 + 9 spell casting
five. OK, so that's. 7.
Seven and it bounces to. Anybody.
Next to him and the other guy just takes five, the guy next to
me. The total?
What's the total? For Oh no, 19 was the total.
Thank you. Sorry, not damage.
The damage was the total damage. Seven.
So, so the guy next. To me takes seven and the guy
next to him takes 5 because it jumps.
Did you Did you roll the hammer? Damage.
Oh, the hammer damage? No.
What is that? Sorry.
Should be. It's been a long time.
That's 10/10/10. That's a 12.
Yeah, it's an 810. That's a 12.
Sorry, everybody. Thank you, 999.
Plus 9 plus. 7. No strength mod.
Strength Mod. Yeah. 2.
So 11. 11 + 718 Eighteen 18 the 1st 1/5 to the other.
Thank you everybody. Yep.
Hammer damage because I'd already added that other damage.
I remember damage was 11. Thank you.
Cool. All right now all.
Right. Thanks buddy.
It's been a minute. Can I see start from where I'm
standing? Kind of.
So the the, the, the capsules are a little are kind of angled
a little bit so like you can kind of see him but you can't
like get like you don't see fully all of him, but you can
see you do see parts of him. But not well enough to know how
hard he just got hit repeatedly. Yeah, I wouldn't say that.
OK, in that case, does the one that tried to bite me still
have? Its mouth open, that's the best
deal. I think that's the best sense.
Is your arm weakest at the shoulder of the elbow?
Honestly, randomly Mulligan is still open.
There, there was also, I thought all humans were pink.
That was good. That was pretty good.
Yes, his mouth is open. Cool.
I'm going to pull out one of the vials of carry on crawler blood
that I have and shove it in his mouth.
What? Yes, I don't.
Remember I I know it does something.
I can't remember what it does. Hold on.
Thick blood is what I have it listed as.
There, I know that. I know there's a thing.
I just. I just.
Fuck. You want this?
Is that from the thing? You guys kill us from that.
Yeah, it was. It was melting.
Everything. Oh yeah.
Yeah. Then so, but we did.
Eat that guy. We did eat, yeah.
We cooked them up and he was tasty.
I have no idea what. It's going to do, so it's
entirely. Up to you, but.
This group eats everything we kill.
All right. So here's what Here's what I'm
going to say. We hit a white dragon.
Go ahead and. Do it like a shove attack.
Roll a right. Exactly.
See here. What are we going to roll?
We're going to roll something because this isn't really an
attack, but it's still take your action, Yeah.
You could sort of roll it as sort of roll it as a grapple, I
guess. I'd say roll an Acrobatics or
Athletics check to see which which one you know if you can,
how successful you are to getting it there and then go
ahead because it is. I do remember it.
I don't remember what it is, but I I'm going to make it what it
is, it's going to be do 2D12 worth of.
Not enough Good. Use.
Good choice. Yes.
That's a 12. It's good enough.
They're they are, they are not. They are basically zombies.
So they didn't. Expect you to shove a vial down
their throat. They stab them.
Yeah, I. Mean you offered it it's hand.
Yeah, your hand. Didn't just be like something in
it. There you go, bitch.
No. Go ahead and roll damage there.
L Well, that's. Not bad, that's. 24.
Feel like we should be drinking? All right, Scald, you're up.
OK. How far am I from?
Is it a group of three up top of that map?
Yes, well. You So you have one in, so
you're right behind SOA and then there's one right there, and
then there's three up top and then there's one over by Scald
or by sorry. I'm less than 60 feet from the
top ones, correct? So what I'd like to do is I'd
like to run around SOA and get to the backside of the one that
is on no, just the, just the one that's next to SOA.
Oh, blank in here. He can't see.
Where? You're.
He can't see. Yes, blanking that one.
I very distinctly recall pulling out my sword and my shadow blade
before. Yes, yes, because I remember
being like this is a bad idea. So I am going to use the grasp
of Sedna on the three. OK, so a hole in reality opens
up and black tentacles with purple flesh on the underside
and pink suction cups come spewing out of it and they begin
attempting to grapple each of those three that are up top of
the map, and each of them needs to make ADC 17 strength save.
Strength save, OK. Strength save.
Wow. Damn.
It. That is a 9A four and a nine.
No, I take that 10, A, 10A5 and A10 not.
They're all. Grappled.
OK. They're all grappled and then
that's my bonus action. Dual wielding I can attack twice
and then my third attack would be a bonus action.
Correct, since you just used your bonus action.
Attacks. I do have two attacks, yes.
So my third. Yeah, so I always carry my
Shadow Blade in my main hand and my packed weapon in my off hand.
So I'm going to swing with my Shadow Blade at the creature
between me and SOA. What kind?
Of light are we in right now? It's great white.
Light, bright, light, OK. You also have it so.
I already have advantage though. Well, it's also blind for.
The next oh. Well, either way I had
advantage. So super, that's going to be a
17 + 926 that hits to hit with my shadow blade, which is going
to be 3D eight. Those look pretty.
That's going to be 11 damage with, I'm sorry, 16 damage, 16
size psychic damage with that attack.
And then I'm going to attack with my packed weapon.
That's going to be a 19 to hit. That hits.
And that's going to be 6 damage. OK.
That's action movement, bonus action, I think that is that is
it, Yes. All right, back up to the top.
Top with Sark. Sark's going to feel like
getting hit a little bit and realize he hasn't done a good
fight in a while and kind of realize where he's at and settle
into the vibration of that Kung Fu neck pop thing.
Oh yeah. Neck pop, shoulder roll, settle
in. It's just cracking as he turns
his head. Except for instead of the
cracking, it's Ting, Ting Ting Ting, Ting.
It's metal and and wood moving across.
Imagine the Terminator cracking. Yeah, basically, the Terminator
cracking its neck. Yeah.
It's Wholeness of Body. I gained three times my monk
level and HP back, so it's 24 points up.
Damn nice. What the fuck?
My bonus action. I'm spending a key point to take
patient defense because I'm gonna let this guy come at me
go. So he has disadvantages or any
attacks against me have disadvantage, yeah.
Remind me please. I will try.
I'll remember, don't worry. All right.
Anything else I'm in. Rules lawyer mode right now, so
Nope. All right, Next up is Patrice.
OK, Patrice is going to cast, He's going to Twin Rathlim
Psychic Lance, which is fun. Yes, they need to.
I need 2 targets there to make intelligence saving throws
please. Which?
1. The two in front of L.
OK. What's the save they're saving
against? It's 19 save intelligence.
Point of interest, the one both of them can have do attacks of
Opportunity. Who's casting a spell of melee
What? Nope, never mind.
Sorry, that's a different. System that might be 4 you need,
you know if you playing some 4, you need Mitch Slayer for that.
There's a feedback, there's a feed that gives it to.
You. I'm also thinking range, weapons
and. Right, so.
That's an 18 and a. 60. I got you.
OK, go fail. So I'm going to roll 70 sixes.
Listen. To that.
So the first goal is an 11 and then I get 3 on the next one.
Work indoors. And then Nine sets 20 damage
sidekick and both targets are incapacitated until the start of
my next turn. That's it.
And then with a bonus action, I'm going to, because it sounds
like a good time, I'm going to cast a fireball at Sark's buddy
over there. Fireball.
Ball and a big B, Yeah. So that one's going to be, I'm
going to use, what's it called, Quicken Careful spell on that
one. So that way my buddy doesn't
take any damage from it because he's a monk motherfucker.
So I need a Dexterity check from that guy over there.
Actually, yeah. No, I think I just cheated.
Let's just say you have to make a save.
That's fine. OK, I'm reading.
I'm looking at Dodge action stuff too.
So that's a 21. OK, that makes the save.
And. It doesn't.
I'm pretty sure that Sark has to make a save, right?
Make a save advantage. He does.
I think so. That's what I would think that's
that's he has evasion, so the damage for it will be, I'll just
make the roll, yeah. Oh.
Glad I have evasion. I still take Afghanistan.
OK, that's wrong place. That's 12:17 on the 1st row and
10 on the next. So 27 fire damage to that guy
is. That already been halved.
No, it has not. So it gets half to 13 for the
cross one and so Sark takes 13 damage too, right?
All right. Anything else?
Nope. All right, the one directly in
front of you, Patrice, is going to use its legendary action to
bite Cool started. Their turns.
Oh no, this isn't their turn yet.
It's actually. Mine.
That's a natural one. Here we go.
Cool. Fine.
No.
No, not helpful. OK.
So those two are incapacitated to the start of your next turn
right? Yes.
Curtis. Yes, yes, that are in front of
L. OK, and I believe there's some
damage rolls. Yes, I need to.
They need to make saves. But they're they need to make
saves. Sorry, hold on.
Yeah, they just can't take actions or reactions, OK?
Oh my God. It's a 19 Wisdom save.
I have two natural ones. Hang on, hang on, hang on.
That's it. And well, the other one's a
fucking it was a Wisdom save, right?
Yeah, Wisdom Save. It's an 8.
Times 2 * 2. I.
I wish I had a quick release so I could pull my camera down so
you guys could see this. Yeah, it's pretty awesome.
So that's 3D eights of radiant damage, and I rolled 13 damage
for all three of them, and then they take acid damage from Sid.
They do. Hold on, I'm not there yet.
OK. I forgot that I have a
particular spell that Curtis definitely told me to take.
All right, Sid, what do? You got the two guys take
6/10/13. I believe in some first damage
rule is +5 to acid for the attack, so that's 18 for each of
those damage. But just two of them got caught.
With the two, yeah, he has them marked with little bubble.
And choose one or the other, the.
Other either end, all right. The one in front of Patrice
rolls his D6. He is going to make his bite
attack, yeah. Yeah.
Take it 16. That is not hit.
OK, and then his claw attack, That's another sixteen.
So that misses all right. I'll check that.
Sark, the one in front of you because the other two are
incapacitated, so they can't do anything and grapple, so they
can't move either. The one in front of you, Sark.
Patient defense like it? We kill a couple.
Really really helpful. That's a 27 to hit.
Was that disadvantage. No, that is an 18 to hit, which
I'm pretty sure doesn't. Nope.
All right, second one, the claw attack.
Yeah, that's even worse. It's 12.
I mean, if you flip the order, that would hit me.
All right, Next up is the one in front of S away.
Blind. Yeah.
Disadvantage. This up.
And then you wonder why I make things that hit so hard.
I don't know. You never said that, never
wondered about it. No.
I get it entirely. 18. 18 does not hit.
My AC is bumped right now all. Right, second attack.
That doesn't mean that. Not even worth saying that.
We may have, we may have. What's the word I'm looking for
when you give somebody a name? We gave Curtis the name Min
Maximus, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us don't
approach our characters from an engineers viewpoint.
Especially when I say messages. Right.
When you're like. This.
Because I've been obsessing about your character.
For the last 12. Hours.
And I looked up every spell and feature in every possible
publication from Wisps of. The.
Cast I I will. Say Morgan did catch both me and
Nate, basically trying to make impossible to hit characters,
yeah. Mine wasn't entirely deliberate.
It just. I'm not sad it turns out that
way. Where you go, it's.
All right, Sid, L&S away are up. I'm I'm ready since I just
stabbed things. This is the most.
Most boring Bard ever. I am going to use my bonus
action to Hexblade's Curse, the one in front of me, so I could
on nineteens. Yay.
And I have advantage. And we can drink on 19.
No. That's great.
That's a. Couple.
Drink. It's a one and a 20.
Oh my God. Twice.
OK, you guys are keeping track of these, right?
Oh yeah, it's on the board. Yeah.
Yeah, this is. This is insane.
You're doing the bad one first. I am going to defensive flourish
here. All right.
So that is. Relaxing.
I'm not even trying to. Well, so that's double the dice.
So 9/18/20, five points of slashing damage.
And I mean, if you want it like you're already blind.
But yeah, oh, actually, Morgan, you were supposed to repeat that
saving throw. That's all right.
OK, use the. Con Save.
Yeah. It's 18.
It would have. It would have succeeded if you
had remembered to do that so. He's blind now.
He's blind again. Well, he has to make the.
Oh, that reminds me, I forgot to do the saves for Curtis's thing,
so. Correct.
So that's that's my first attack. 20, What's that set?
26, I'm assuming hits. Yeah, my second attack, and
that's another ten points of slashing image.
OK. Yeah, you can roll roll 3.
I missed it on my turn. We're moving on.
All right, sitter Li. Go Sid smashes her hammer into
the ground in front of her and crevasse opens up across the
three characters and a wave of acid rushes through.
They need to make Dexterity saving throws again.
Yes. Jesus fucking Christ.
That's a 17A. 17 makes it. OK, a 13 and a 10.
So the 13 and 10 fail. I believe they take the one that
makes it takes half damage, correct?
8V6? Nice.
God. We.
Just unload. 12 Oh my. God.
Without using I was good. No, I don't.
I was. Like 23 damage to the ones that
failed in half or the ones that make it.
OK, I can only control them with my bonus.
And I will end my turn. Tentacles.
At a time I don't need two groups of tentacles or three
groups of tentacles out. As much as I'm a fan of tentacle
porn, the answer to How much tentacle porn do you need in
your D&D? Is more tentacle porn.
I mean, you're not wrong. Which is?
I have. I'm trying to deflect this
conversation back to combat. Please L.
We are talking about combat and that was the way, not L the One.
No, I'm trying to get L to. L's going to do the combat I
see. I'm.
Going to point. My.
I take out a a ball. Bearing point my pistol at the
one that I didn't shove the vial in its mouth and has catapult.
OK and. They're incapasted.
Nope. Yeah, again, Nope.
Just until the start of my next chance, they shot.
Him. It's a 24 to hit.
Hits. On your second.
Turn. Does that mean?
You can get. First advantage, second one is
right I've. Done.
I do a lot of psychics. Yeah, but.
I like. I like the intelligence.
Which is double S dash, yeah. It is the.
One is the most underneath. There's a 5% chance, but it's
still a chance. That is 13 bludgeoning damage.
OK, cool. Anything else?
Yeah, he's gonna. I'm gonna take a couple steps to
the left. And then back up.
So like here. Yeah, that'll work.
OK. Do they get opportunity attacks?
This guy does. Nope.
No, he's this. No, But this guy does.
No, no, he's moving. Yeah, he's OK.
Tackle up because they have 0 speed.
They're grappled. Yes.
So that's going to be a 21 to hit.
Is that the minus D6? Yeah, you got to roll AD 6 and
subtract it from their attack roll because of synaptic static.
No, I'm trying to remember what I rolled to.
Try to get roll again. I'll roll again.
OK, go whatever. Sculpt.
Yeah. I'm up.
I glance over my shoulder and see that guy try to hit my
friend, and as he tries, after he tries to swing at my friend,
one of the tentacles that's whipping around tries to smack
him in the back of the head. And that is going to be a spell
attack, which is my charisma and my proficiency, right?
OK, +9, that's going to be a 27 to hit.
Yep, and that's going to be 5 damage to that guy.
So he tries to attack my buddy and and a tentacle just swaps
him in the back of the head for five damage.
Bludgeoning. Cold.
Yeah.
And then I'm going to haul off on the guy in front of me again,
to which I have advantage. 18 + 9 is 27 and that is going to be.
I keep forgetting 3D 83386 and eight is 1414 damage, Psychic
damage and then Nat 20. Yay.
Drink motherfucker. Drink, motherfucker.
Drink. We're closing in on fifty of
these, that's right. And that is going to be one D
814 + 519 damage. It's.
So, so that's damage. Well, that's the damage, 19
damage. It was an at 20 to hit for 29
total, so 19. Anything else?
No, I think that's it. Right top of the.
Round hanging out in flanking right now.
Starts up. Yep.
I'm going to dance around to the opposite side of him just to
change position. I'm going to pop him twice
regular with thoughts I wished attempts to also.
That's a 20 and a 23 to hit. Yep.
Bloody name. X.
Psychic. Nice. 1st.
One is 610 15 points. One of that is necrotic.
The rest is bludgeoning. OK.
The second one is it is 17 points, four of which is
necrotic. And then for my bonus action.
Oh crap, I did that wrong. Anyways, that's fine.
I'm gonna do patient defense again for my bonus action.
OK, wrong go. Go.
To myself. I can't attack and cast Blinding
Spite as my bonus action. Oh yeah, that's fair.
It's fine. You did some damage.
You're a. Patrice Patrice is going to.
He hears. He hears a bunch of stuff
happening in the corner over there, so he's going to walk
over to the right behind Sid, down into the right of Sid.
So 2 steps right? Here.
Yep. And then he's going to see his
buddy Sark and he's going to cast so I I can use.
Either one for my sword attacks. He's going to cast another rail,
Thames psychic glance on the one that's right there.
Which one's right there? The one in front of me, Sorry,
that's an intelligence save of 19. 7.
OK, the 76 psychic damage. OK, 17 on the first one and
9:00. So that's 26 psychic damage.
And that one is Incapacitatus. And then I'm going to.
Yeah, brilliant Walk behind Sid. It's.
Like a green point. And then I'm going to cast a
lot, man. I'm going to cast mine Sliver on
the one in front of Sid. Just trying to drop.
Which is a intelligence save. 2. OK, so the target must succeed.
Or take one D6 psychic damage and subtract 1D four from its
next saving throw. OK, but I'm I'm level 10 now, so
that's 2D6. We have like an achieve off
party. So 7 psychic damage and it has
AD 4 on its next saving throw, and that's my turn.
And a negative D6 on any action that's not a saving throw,
basically. The one in front of Sid is going
to miss make. It take damage from the what's
it called the Spirit guardians. I think it's just the two in
front, so the back one doesn't take Spirit guardians, but they
need to roll for a Wisdom save. Fail, that doesn't count.
Fail. So that's.
I do want to be really clear. I am still incredibly anxious
about this fight. I feel like it's going very
well. It's over.
I don't believe you. Oh shit, that was a good roll.
That's 22 damage for those front two guys.
It's radiant, and then the ones that have the
acid on them need to roll. 1013 total damage to those two.
No, it's only on the 1st row. OK.
Damn it. One damage row.
OK, the one next to Sark make his first attack.
Fucking this 22. That hits the one next to Sark.
Is was it incapacitated? Oh, never mind.
So that one doesn't do anything. The one next to S way that's
going to be a 27. That'll hit I cast SHIELD.
Yeah, at 27. Yeah, that that.
That brings my AC effectively up to a 31 until the end of OH.
My God all. Right Sid L this way.
Oh my God, that's insane. Jesus.
Christ. I'll just We're still flanking,
right? Yeah, that is a 21 to hit.
Yep. Flares again.
OK, so that's going to be a 15 points of slashing damage and I
need a Comm save. It's dead.
OK. There you go.
This is the first. Combat.
We've made it through where I was in 3/4 that just want to
point that out and then I can I get can I get to the next one?
No. Probably.
Like, like how, how far? It's 35 feet, so not really.
Actually you got more than. I use defensive flourish so I
can issue 10 feet of movement. So I got 40 feet.
See. I'll make my second attach 24 No
26. Yep.
And that's ten points of slashing damage.
And it needs to make a Con save DC or be blind, OK?
Or it dies. Or it just dies.
All right, sit down. Since it's going to do a hammer
attack on the one next to her, that's only 6 + 6.
That's 12 to hit. Does not hit.
No, it doesn't hit.
She's going. To bonus action, Misty step to
the square behind SOA. OK.
Anything else? That's my Turk.
All right, L. Can I see how the one in that's
up top is looking? Oh, they're all really fucked
up. OK, in that case, can I see the
one in front of Stark from where I am?
Not really, because you've got the console and the the the pod
in front of you. OK, that's what I thought.
In that case, I was going to walk further away over into the
corner, or as close as he came with 25 feet.
Which corner please? Just away from them.
It doesn't really matter where he's going to go, 25 feet away
and then pull out one of the one of the larger things that we
found in the other room and start looking at that, trying to
figure out how to make it work. One of the rifles.
OK. How did you make are?
You going to shoot me? On accident, I don't see it.
You can't come out of combat unscathed.
It's. Never.
No. It's never happened before.
Never should never happen again. A blind we can.
Use another Yeah I change. We.
Can use another net one we could use that I need.
You to make an Arcana check please with advantage.
Fine if it's got to be with advantage.
Jesus that. Ain't great.
Still comes out to an 18 though. This is figuring.
Esoteric. You figure out which way is the
front in the back in, kind of like a like a firing knob kind
of thing. Do I have enough left to test it
on my turn or was that my OK? You can certainly try.
Is that SOA? That's between me and the.
One up top now. It's Sid and S away.
Shoot S away in the back that she'll be hilarious.
My my AC isn't quite as high as it was last franchise.
I didn't. I didn't know roll is good.
That Terrence died. I love it.
In that case. Yeah, he's going to aim for the
the console that he was standing next to.
OK. Rolling that one.
Go ahead and roll a ranged weapon attack, and in this case
you're going to use your Arcana modifier.
OK. And maybe.
Just instead of Dexterity or anything like that, it's just a
it's you're going to roll it and add your Arcana like it was your
modifier. Great.
That's a 14. To hit.
As you trigger the firing knob, a kind of dark purplish beam
emits and it shoots for just almost instantaneous.
If you blink you would have missed it and you watch as it
hits the console and it just completely slices through it.
And you watch as somehow Sark in his peripheral vision sees the
the ray and jumps over it as it completely goes through and then
it hits the wall on the other side and and leaves a scorch
mark on the wall. He almost bifurcated.
Sark is what Skelled yells out loud in that moment.
Almost. Being the keyword, yeah,
bifurcated. Being the other keyword, I can
put them back together. Anyone else knows the word
bifurcated? Look, I may be a rap scallion.
That's a well bred rap scallion. I'm a well bred rap scallion.
That's that's all I have on my turn.
All right, Scaled Europe. I'm no, I can't figure it out.
I was going to try to combine Renegade and Renaissance to say
rent Renegade Assange man you know.
But anyways I'm going to move fully 30 feet up to the dude bro
that's still alive. I think I'll be caddy cornered
to him. The one up top.
Yeah. Should be just enough.
Yeah. Awesome.
And I'm going to just going to wail on him.
I think I don't have advantage now.
Correct. No.
OK, that's going to be a 22 to hit.
Yep, That's going to be a 16 to hit.
You have. Another attack.
But why don't you roll damage on the first one before you roll
the 2nd? Attack on the first one.
OK, fine, 15 psychic damage. He's dead.
Oh, OK. In that case, that's my action.
Is there no one left? Yeah, there's one in front of
Sark. Oh, OK, that's it.
And by current, I mean I'm going to move my tentacles from the
space they're in to where the other guy is.
I can move them up to 30 feet. That should you should be fine.
Yep. Do they mean you make a string
save? I'm actually going to attack him
with. OK.
It's a spell attacks +9. That is a natural one I miss.
Please roll AD 100 when you guys are done.
Let me torture myself real quick.
Hold on. Oh, that's right, we missed a.
Few of those you did D. 100. Oh.
That's going to be a 00 and a six.
Interpret that as you will. So go ahead and roll damage,
please. That's six.
Stark you take six points of whatever that type of damage is.
6. Points of cold damage.
Get burned and get frozen. And your speed is reduced by 10
feet. Oh, how sad.
I know you can. You can only go 40 feet on your
next turn. 35. Oh, OK, 35.
Yeah, yeah, you can only go five more feet than all the rest of
us can. And get.
Burned already? Patrice, you're up next.
I'm going to use one meta magic point to make sure I use Careful
spell this time, and I'm going to center the fireball right to
the right of Sark. Excellent.
So I need a Dexterity save out of the monster you know.
It's. A10 You know there's spells to
pick from. Well, and this time you take 0
damage. Major improvement.
Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So that's. 17 on my first roll.
Oh, that's a good roll. And that's 17 on the next roll,
so it's 34 damage of fire halved if it makes it save, which is a
19. No, it didn't.
It didn't roll 10. OK, 34.
Damage. 34 Fire damage. And then, since is it, is it
dead yet? Nope.
OK, then I got two. I got one more sorcery point
left, so I can't quicken a spell.
So do I? Can I cast a bonus action
healing word? Yes, I'm going to cast healing
word on Sark and say sorry about that first one.
That's AD 4 plus my spell of passing modifier.
That was good. So that's a you get six hit
points back. It's better than 0.
That's what they pulled, took off of, and then I'm going to
back up next to scale. Never bothered to start.
Next up is Sid and Elle and S away as he is incapacitated.
Did we skip Sark's turn? We might have.
Go ahead, Sark. It happens.
That's fine. I'm realizing everything is
basically else gone. I'm going full tilt with this
guy, so no, I'm not. I'm gonna do it this time. 2
attacks. Yeah, I'm gonna hit Blinding
Smite on the second attack. Nice.
So first one is 17 to hit. Yep.
Nine points of bludgeoning, 4 points of necrotic.
It's dead. Oh.
All right, guys. With that being said, we're
going to take a real quick break and we'll be back in just a
moment. Welcome back everybody.
Campaigns, concoctions where real paper planes are great
compliments to drink paper planes.
Damn right. So what are we drinking?
I made a beverage called the Safari Sunrise.
It's called the Safari Sunrise because Safari ranks with
Campari. That makes sense.
And it is a. It builds off of the Last word
template. So it's 3/4 of an ounce of
Campari, 3/4 of an ounce of lemon juice, 3/4 of an ounce of
the court, 43, and 3/4 of an ounce of.
What am I missing, Jim? Gin.
Yeah. Everest.
Gin there. You go.
Yeah, so it's. Beautiful and delicious.
Yeah, it's really pretty delicious.
Usually I garnish it with a cocktail cherry, but we are out.
Really. We are at Costco.
Yeah, Costco's where? And by the way, everybody get
your Lixardo cherries at Costco. Yes, you pack.
It's like 18 bucks a jar as. Opposed to 28 lbs, it's a steep
discount. You got to buy 2 jars, but it's
a steep discount on both of. Them, Yeah.
Which comes out to almost as much as a single jar anywhere
else. I made something I call I'm
calling the Mizzouma Swizzle. It's one ounce Hamilton 86 one
ounce plantation OTFD, an ounce of lime, lime, half oz
grenadine, oz dry Curacao. And then you fill that with
Crush the Glass Pawns glass with crushed ice and then you can
swizzle it with either a bar spoon or a swizzle stick and
then fill the rest with ice. To top it, 3 dashes of ango and
three dashes of cherry bitters on tops garnished with mint to
ango. Ango got it.
Yeah, that's it. Beautiful.
Very good. Is that all the?
Drinks. That's all the drinks.
Yeah. Me and Nathan are straight.
Yep. Yeah, and Dustin is drinking
Cholla. Surprising.
Nobody shocked? Shocked by this?
Oh no. Yeah.
All right, then. As the party completes the the,
the COM, the combat, the bodies of these five creatures lay on
the floor, oozing a not. The blood itself doesn't quite
look right. Like, it's not wrong, but it
ain't right. It's kind of like this dark dark
red that is almost black. And as you look you can see that
what if first of you thought was similar creatures that were
looking at you? What it looks like has happened
is that a stock human has been mixed with something, each five
of them individually different, but it's not something that you
can identify. L What the fuck was that?
Don't. Don't hit that button again.
Yeah, I I don't know what the fuck that was, but it was
terrible. Patrice wants to do a Perception
check to see if there's anything inside of any of the other
tubes. No, all the tubes have been
open, man. Yeah, they're all either dead or
tried to kill us. Or they're broken.
Yeah.
You're the one that wanted to talk to him.
OK, that's true. I was trying to leave the room.
I don't think I want to talk to him.
He's the one that wanted to talk to him.
I I thought we should talk. Long as we're clear, you can
still talk to him after they're dead, too.
Yeah. I can't.
I can. That's not.
The point I can't. You can't know if he can, but
no, it is possible. I specifically can.
Are we going to? Which one should we talk to?
Which one has most of their face left?
Probably not the one that we burnt the jaw off of.
Yeah, that one. Yeah.
Well, I guess. Actually, I can talk to any of
them, so it doesn't really matter.
I can talk to all of them too. Let's talk to the one that
you've killed. It might remember you.
I don't think I killed any of them.
That's the way I killed one. Do you guys really think that
these things can? Talk.
They look like they used to be at least vaguely humanoid.
I don't think they can, but I don't know, maybe the one I
killed before that still looks pretty human, yeah?
How? How much do their faces and
mouths look like they could communicate in any humanoid
language? I mean, they look like they
could all. Right.
I walk up to whichever one's physically closest to me, and I
cast speak with the dead. OK.
One moment, you got to look that up.
Or what Speak With the Vet does. You get to ask questions.
Questions that can't lie to you and.
They have to. Be.
What kind of questions does it matter?
No. They can be open.
God, that was the best, OK? So here's your.
Here it might have. Been here is Speak with dead.
Grant the semblance of life and intelligence to a corpse of your
choice within range, allowing you to answer questions you
pose. The course must still have a
mouth, and can't be undead. The spells fail if the corpse
was the target of this spell within the last 10 days, as you
cast, the spell doesn't do anything.
Nothing happens. I turned to him and I'm like, I
for sure thought that would work, but it's not doing.
Anything. I don't know why it wouldn't
work. Sark is like knelt down and like
parsed out some of the blood from the one that died in front
of him. They added a little water to one
side, added a little oil to the other side, picked up some fire
from one of Patrice's fireballs, but the oil went on fire.
And it's just sitting there looking at the blood, watching
whatever happens happened. Does it burn a weird color?
It's like watching butane burn oh.
It was like burning blue. Well, Blue.
Well, the fire is blue, not the blood.
The blood burns blue. What?
Color. There's a lot of bees.
Blue burning blood. What?
What color does blood usually burn?
Usually whatever oil you mix into it, this changed.
I was going to walk up to just whatever the closest spot of
blood from them is and then cloud is lighter and try to
light it on fire. It likes.
Anything. It ignites.
Does it burn blue? Yes it does.
Does blood usually do that? No.
Well, that's great. That's the way.
I would like to check to see if the door is unlocked now that
everything's dead. All right, go ahead and check.
So you wake up and right as you walk up you hear that of the
doors. It slides open.
You. Also hear the grinding of gears
as it's really struggling to open and as the as it opens you
also hear an increased number of sparks from the console behind
you. Elle, is it time to go?
The flames of the. Blood.
Are growing faster and faster and faster.
Yes, everyone else, get out now. I immediately just dim out that
door. Yep.
I miss I missed your step, no? Questions asked.
I'm not looking back to see if anybody's coming.
I'm like, I gotta go. Oh, that's the way it's out the
door. Once the door opens, it's
fucking over this room. I was backing away, but he
hasn't left yet. He's just watching it burn.
Is the body that SOA filled on fire yet?
No, because it's it's it hasn't. It's not.
The pool of blood is not around where everything has been lit on
fire. Start.
Strike one out the door.
Ellis, as you watch this, the blood is is it doesn't flow very
fast, right? It's it seems to be quite thick
in comparison to normal blood, but it is still moving and there
doesn't seem to be a slight slant to the floor.
And as you're looking, you notice that there is a drain
kind of near the console where you had been standing.
And you watch as the flames engulf each of these creatures,
and as soon as it it seems to hit a certain point, you know
you get like maybe 60% of it is burning.
The corpse explodes as. Soon as the corpse explodes,
Scout looks back in the room, sees L still slowly backing
away, walks over, picks L up by the back of his collar and lifts
him off the ground and walks him out the door.
Butt holds him so he can keep watching while we walk away.
As soon as Scalp picks him up, Elk has to reduce on him.
Oh. Let's see you're.
Small. You don't get a favor?
Nope. No, nothing.
Nope. OK, as soon as I'm small.
How small is small? He is half the size that he was.
So does he. Isn't small with you now he's a
little. Shorter.
He's probably a little shorter. He's shorter.
I'm 4 feet tall, so you're not. I'm like half a foot shorter.
Like a foot short of it. Yeah.
So I'm like, yeah. And as I'm standing there
looking up at the back of Elle's head, I'm like, you know what?
Welcome. And I walk out the door.
At half. Speed at half speed, Yep, you
get outside. And I look at Sark and I'm like.
You got any way to fix this? It's going to look, it's going
to be like. Where?
The fucking and pull out tools and start walking towards you.
That's not the way. That's the way.
Maybe. Maybe if if somebody holds your
feet and somebody holds your arms, we can just pull you.
That makes sense to me. Let's try it.
I'm going to stand. I'm going to stand in the door
to to the room where I can still see the flames until I see what
happens after the flames go down the drain.
Pass away, You grab his feet. I'll grab his arms.
All right, guys. Evo.
You're concentrating on enlarging.
Yes, OK. And so it only lasts for a
minute. Correct.
So about the time they pull, it's going to wear off.
Fuck yeah, so we think. I I need everyone who's pulling
and skilled to make an Intelligence check for me,
please. 5 Yes. 6. Just straight and tell them for.
The situation. But 14 because I have a + 0.
Doesn't matter. All three of you correlate this
whole thing as yes, pulling will re.
Rule completely. Is is the way to rectify reduce
they? Pulled on my ice legs, I'm like
a table. Sun, Yeah.
Now we know how to fix that in the future.
So Elle, as you were watching and you watch as the flames
finally start to you know drip through this drain, you hear the
sputtering of popping of like when you you hear like when you
see flank like ash and flame hit water.
So you just hit the this that and you watch It is kind of like
this. Bluish Gray smoke begins to rise
up through the grates and then make a perception check for me,
please. Wow.
That's. 14 What? Was that again?
14. OK, it's.
Significantly higher than I wanted it to be.
You you hear, but you can't really pinpoint where it's
coming from. But it sounds like this, a
mechanical sound. I mean for you you would
probably recognize it as some sort of fan you you hear it
click on after there is enough smoke in the room to begin to to
add kind of a haze and then eventually you see is that haze
is beginning to clear. I crack my knuckles, walk back
into the room. He's at the door.
I grab him by the scruff of the neck and I pull him to the other
side of the doorway. Dustin is checking how many
spells like I'm willing to burn them all for this bit.
This is hilarious. I'm really hoping to be made
small again so we can try to fix it before it wears off.
Was it? Was I in the room enough to see
that it's basically an exhaust fan working?
I mean kind of you wouldn't know that you, Dustin, know that this
is obviously an exhaust fan, but yeah, sure, L is not 100% sure.
But he sees something working. Yeah.
Something sucking the idioms out of the room.
It's enough to start pulling smoke to wherever the noise is
coming from, yeah. Which you haven't really been
able to pinpoint, and it seems to pull in a kind of a dispersal
pattern. There's no real pattern.
It's so it's dispersed enough that it just kind of seems to
disappear, dissipate almost naturally.
OK, he's he's got to let himself be pulled out of the room
because the smoke is significantly more terrifying to
him than the fire. I mean, that's valid.
True, especially as you get that the acrid scent as it hits you
for the first time. This is not a smell that is good
based on your experience. Yeah.
Things that are not supposed to burn.
Making smoke is generally not a good thing in this experience.
Yeah, once he's back out in the hallway, he's going to turn
around and like, well, that was an efficient room.
Efficient. Efficient, yeah.
All the blood drained. Smoke started going away a
little bit. Yeah, You know, I'll give you
that. Although the fact that the blood
lit on fire was concerning. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that.
That's a good adjective. Cirque is currently doing the
body he dragged out of the room. Oh, good, we should probably
take. At least some of that.
To show to what's the fuck upstairs?
Which one? The one that's in charge.
Yeah, which one? Not a no.
Oh, you hit the base. Yeah.
It's not the one that has a song retainer.
No. OK, yeah, let's.
We take some of it back to the boss too, but.
You have vials. Take some blood.
Somebody who likes beheading things can take the head to the
captain. I think so.
Let's like that. Check out I.
Chop off the head. I'll collect some vials of blood
and like a finger or something, I can fit in the vial.
But Patrice, you. Want to go and see if there's
more tubes of folks filled? With Well, as long as they don't
press the green button, we should be fine, right?
Yeah, and if there's a four, it opens red buttons all day.
I was wrong. Red buttons all day.
Now that was just pulling. Wires out.
I really hate you people. Pull the wires out.
Yeah, but you did. You did.
So L you did know which one we were pulling out.
So it was the green button that you that you pulled the wire out
of which it so it's. Trying to aim Scald away from
pushing buttons. Oh, Scald has no intent of
pushing buttons on his own. Don't worry about that.
That's not that's just more fucking magic.
So. More magic that we forgot.
So as so L since you asked that question, go ahead and roll a
perception check for me please. Roll 20.
That's a hole 7. So you do.
So you do notice that there is a door almost directly across from
you, and you remember passing one as you came back.
But there the hall light seems to have dimmed a little bit and
maybe and it seems to be the sound in the room is still kind
of filtering through the door. So it seems like maybe in
conjunction with that so you're not seeing as clearly and your
your brain's still doing L things so.
Was is the door? Across from us, the one that had
the that was the Armory that we looted.
No, the Armory was on the same side of the hallway as this as
this. This room that you went in, It's
the it's back the way you came. OK, I cut off the head of the
one that was closest to us, that wasn't on fire, and a little too
nonchalantly and with a little too much grace tie its hair to
my belt so its head is hanging off my belt.
Can I make a medicine check to basically see if there's any any
extra internal organs? Certainly dry.
Additional, yes. It's a 26.
OK. As you just kind of.
Relatively high. You start to feel around and you
the first thing that you notice is that ribs are not in the
right place. They're angled and they're
angled at a weird angle. So instead of being kind of like
parallel or, yeah, parallel to the ground, they're angled so
they kind of come down in an almost X pattern.
And then as you're feeling you know, you, you felt, you know,
you through your exploration of organic materials, you can tell
that there are, there's, there are things missing and there are
things in the wrong place. The problem is, is it's not that
you can't tell if they're extra or they're not because
everything is so discombobulated that you're not 100% sure.
Like you're pretty sure you feel a liver on the opposite side.
Like there's really no intestines that you can really
feel or or check or anything, 'cause this thing is pretty
emancipated. It's it's pretty thin.
So like you can get a pretty good feel of everything, But
then at the same time like as you kind of look at it, you see
maybe like the hips are more like a dog, you know.
So it's like it things things are really weird and you really
can't, can't get a good grasp of it.
But yeah, it looks like there's either.
It's either missing or moved organs.
I'm just going to get done and just stand up and be like this.
Feels like a puzzle I put together on like day three and
then start washing off his arms with the water skin.
Good call. Yeah.
Some people, somebody was building with meat.
Or rearranged, I'm not sure it's wrong.
And then you're just going to turn around and wait for
somebody to move towards another door.
What? Do you guys think it tastes like
not? Great.
It burns blue and he says the smoke is bad.
I don't think you want to ingest it.
All right, fine. Doesn't mean he won't.
You can make sure he doesn't go unawive.
I gently stroke the head hanging off of that.
If you die from this, I'm not. Bringing you back.
All right, fine. I will.
If you eat it another time. I'm not going to eat it right
now. That would be irresponsible.
I'm going to start dragging the body to one of the doors that we
haven't gone into and leave the body at the door and then walk
in. Right.
Which one are you going to? The one that's across because
it's closest. So this one does not have a
security panel like the other one does or like the other doors
have and it just instantly opens.
Does does it seem like this this door is struggling at all?
This one is not. This one opens up on its own
very fairly smoothly. As you walk in L you feel the
temperature drop pretty drastically from a fairly
comfortable one to one that is really, really cold.
And go ahead and make a perception check for me, please.
That's the way it. Pulls the body so the door can't
close. That's a four.
The room is lined with shelving and stuff.
I was just trying to figure out how it's cold.
Now. Just kind of like lean over his,
kind of over his shoulder. Just got this room is
significantly colder. This would be a good place to
store meat. Is there meat in here?
I don't fucking know. Let's go.
Let's find the meat. You guys walk inside and let's
Patrice follow him if he wants to.
What? Are you guys doing?
Sid will follow in and look for me on the shelves.
I cast Patrice, cast Dancing Lights and.
For real is it? Dark.
It's it's lit. Oh, it's lit.
It's going to be even more lit. AF.
Yeah, it's going to be lit AF now.
I'm going to have 4-4 light bulbs in there.
They're going to be hovering around L so he can get a little
bit of extra light for panels or whatever.
And since Sid, since you're making since you're looking for
stuff, go ahead and roll an investigation check, please.
What's bad? That's a 5.
That's over. Don't care.
Unless it's a one or a 20, because that means we drink.
That's a five. Last five.
So you get a little bit more just because of you're having to
get close, but as you look at these shelves, what you're
seeing is a collection of jars that seem to be sealed with
liquid and something inside that could be meat.
Oh. I walk up behind Sid and I go.
That looks like it. Could be me.
Are those Pickles? Patrice It might be Pickles.
No. Pickles.
Not need to be refrigerated? Probably not.
It's not cucumber, Pickles. Cucumber.
Yeah, it's not cucumber. It's not Cucumber.
If it's any kind of Pickles, that might be finger Pickles.
Latrice opens up one of the jars.
The jar opens. What does it smell like?
That's a jar does. Formaldehyde.
Cool. Smell this.
It smells terrible. I'm gonna stop looking for
what's looking at cold and walk over and smell it.
Damn right. That smells.
Really chemical. What is that?
That's always standing in the doorway.
Very seriously considering moving this body back into the
hall and leaving. Starts currently still like.
Poking at it like doesn't make sense.
So like SFA moves and drags, the body's going to be kind of
looking at that. Do I?
Do I have any great more preference for that smell?
Well, history check. I'm guessing just straight
history. Yeah, just straight.
History. That's.
Let me double check. Pretty sure that's over 20.
Oh, OK, Yeah, that's 22. OK, so it may not be your thing.
Use. Your timing.
But, but between Sark's fascination with biological
mechanics and, you know, just the people in the manager's
employee, you know this as something that is used to
preserve things that have once been living.
In this case, now that you're actually taking a look, you have
a pretty good idea that this may be some kind of organ.
Scalp pokes it with one of his daggers.
I mean, it is technically storing meat, but you probably
don't want to eat this meat anymore.
This is storing for like experiments later.
Should we take it with us so you can experiment later?
The fuck do I want to experiment on with me?
I don't know. Besides, you guys are constantly
talking about punching pigs. Yeah, you always want to hit.
Me. You're you're always talking
about experimenting with me, right?
They always want to hit me. Smacking at me.
Just smacking meat around because I know how much force it
takes to get through a pig. I know how.
Curtis is about the same color as his shirt right now.
Yeah, pretty much, which is salmon.
The color of. The wind.
Salmon. Salmon No to mispronounce
salmon. And then as soon as El says
that, he's going to go back to looking and trying to figure out
how the room is colder than it is outside.
Make an investigation. Check.
Another 22. As you are looking, you notice
up top around the edges of the walls are these come as slender
vents, maybe about two inches wide, that cover the entirety of
the the corners of the walls, like where the the wall meets
the ceiling. And as you look up and you kind
of look into them, you see kind of this.
One minute. Welcome back to campaigns and
concoctions where we had the quickest break ever.
It was all of about 45 seconds as we figured out our audio.
Yay, So back to where we were. We were describing the room and
why it was cold. So Elle, as you were looking up,
you see these fence, these two inch vents that that go along
the corner of the room and what you're seeing is it.
It's almost like it's looks like steam, but it's, you know that
what it is is cold air is somehow being pumped into this
room. That's on all the sides.
Right. Yeah, everywhere.
So it's coming in there. The vents are on the ceiling,
yeah, but they line along each. Wall OK, there's a power room
here somewhere. Because it's not here.
And it wasn't there. We have lots of hallways to
explore. This is just a locker of meat
samples. Yeah, locker of meat samples.
Meat samples, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inedible meat samples.
Don't eat them. Don't eat them.
I mean, they're. Technically not wrong.
What colorfully correct is the best kind of correct?
He didn't say you were correct. He said not wrong.
Patrice is still holding that jar.
He wants to dribble a little on the ground and hit it with a
fire bolt to see what color it is.
I don't know what color formaldehyde burns, if it burns
at all. Does it burn?
Pretty sure like the other one did.
I don't. Know but what is formaldehyde?
Burn light. I don't know if formaldehyde
flammable. OK, curious.
FBI. Agent.
Who watches me? Please don't arrest me for this.
While that's happening, I was going to walk out of the room.
Here. Well its.
Vapors are flammable and explosive.
That is formaldehyde. Catch fire.
This is always the weirdest thing when you're Adm.
Yep. Is formaldehyde is colorless and
a flammable gas at room temperature, so it is
significantly colder. Than that room, that.
Doesn't mean it won't burn. I like how out of, you know, the
seven of us, four people are. Great question.
Can one be? So I'm going to say this.
This is this is arcane formaldehyde and it does not
burn. I was going to say it would
probably burn green because it's got a lot of methane in it and
methane burns green. But this this is arcane
formaldehyde. It does not burn.
I'm not. I'm not going to deal with it.
That's the ruling. So that's not why those things
were burning. Blue.
Oh no, already headed out the door asked you.
So by myself, whoever is still in the room, I need someone to
make a perception check for me please.
I'm in the room. I will make one thing with the
door. My passive is also 19. 19 is
good enough. So as you're just kind of
looking around as everyone's looking to exit, you notice that
on the north side kind of in the direction where you guys came
from, there is another door inside this room.
Hey Elle, there's another door in this room.
Start quickly goes over and looks at it.
Does it have security things? No security on this one either.
Make it open. So as you you the door opens.
This one, unlike, unlike the other ones that go left to
right, this one or side to side, this one slides up and you enter
in and you immediately step on glass.
You you hear the the creaking of broken glass and that's what
we'll pick up next session. So next time we'll make sure
that we have proper technology set up.
Charged. Charged speakers and then we're
good. But so thank you everyone for
joining us on this adventure of Kawai for the storytelling.
TPK as we did in TPK, as always, is always if you can.
If you want to get more involved with us on the internets, you
can click in the link below. You can get there on our Discord
server, on our Instagram, on anything that comes up from
there as it comes, we should we have links to stuff.
There's also, you know, just things.
Take a peek. We will keep you in the loop.
What was that? One thing, I received a free
bottle of Empress Gin from a friend at work that said, hey,
drink this on your podcast. And I did.
Thank you TJ That was delicious. And one other thing Devin, the
the the discord that you joined actually has a podcast
associated to it. Like I know you didn't know that
for like 4 months while you were like just posting, but like
there this is the podcast when you get to this episode.
Devin. This is the one.
This is the podcast. This is the.
Podcast. Yeah.
Big. Big of trick, amazing.
Love it. So awesome guys, so thank you as
always for joining us. Click the links below and until
next time, drink. Well, drink.
Well.