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Hello, beautiful humans and 
welcome to the mental Wellness. 

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Wake up, show a weekly podcast 
where growth minded creative 

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people, come to learn, best 
practices from both spirituality

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and psychology that create 
lasting well-being. 

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I am your host mental Wellness, 
expert improvised acting teacher

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therapist and Coach, Don 
McMillan. 

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Let's get to it. 
It. 

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Hello friends. 
So what I want to talk about 

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today is the lazy crazy 
unmotivated as in why are you so

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lazy crazy and unmotivated? 
But before we get into the 

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answer to that question, spoiler
alert, you are not. 

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I want to apologize for the 
weird editing in the last 

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episode. 
I had a major coughing fit in 

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the middle of recording a cut 
that out. 

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It sounded fine to me, but when 
I downloaded it to listen to it 

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off of the service that I use, 
it was a little bizarre but 

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based on the feedback that I 
have been getting from all of 

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you, the important parts were 
kept in. 

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So I just want to thank you for 
those of you who have reached 

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out to me to tell me just how 
meaningful that anxiety episode 

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was for you, and if you haven't 
listened to it yet, go back and 

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listen to it. 
It really? 

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Ali can make a huge difference 
in the relationship that you 

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have with your own anxiety. 
Also before we get into today's 

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episode, I just want to thank 
you for listening at all. 

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We are growing by Leaps and 
Bounds all over the world, it's 

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super exciting and we're 
creating a community of people 

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who are choosing to get better 
and so when we choose to get 

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better, we do Do better. 
And it becomes this ripple 

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effect all around the planet. 
And I think we can all agree 

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that the planet or whole not the
plan at the people on it. 

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Really needs some, some peace 
and some joy and some up 

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leveling and some Harmony and 
we're all contributing to that. 

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So yay. 
Yes whoo. 

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Whoo. 
All right. 

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Lazy crazy unmotivated. 
Have you ever accused yourself 

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of being one of those things? 
I raise my hand. 

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I know I have we have a feeling 
in this culture that we should 

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be awake and I'm a American but 
I think there are other cultures

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who are as bad as us that we 
should be awake 16 to 20 hours a

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day. 
And during those 16 to 20 hours,

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we should be completely 
productive grinding going after 

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it making, it happen, doing the 
thing, picking names, kicking 

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names, kicking, butt and taking 
names. 

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And if we are not Not, if we are
not going for it, going after it

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building, the Empire becoming a 
mogul, all the things that 

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there's something wrong with us.
And then we wonder, I just can't

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get motivated. 
Why am I so lazy? 

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I just can't get motivated. 
Why am I so crazy? 

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I get distracted all the time 
and I can't just knuckle down. 

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We think we are lazy crazy or 
unmotivated and that if we just 

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Ourselves up enough or read 
enough affirmations that then 

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we'll get up, we'll get focused 
and we'll do the things that we 

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think we should do. 
The problem is lazy, crazy and 

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unmotivated are not what's going
on. 

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And so beating ourselves up or 
trying to knuckle down or use 

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force on ourselves is not going 
to solve the problem. 

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So here comes Bertram. 
So what actually is going on? 

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On for, let's talk about trauma.
Yes. 

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Trauma again, some more still. 
So lots of us like to think that

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either. 
We don't have trauma. 

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Some people are like, my parents
were good. 

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My childhood was fine. 
I don't have any trauma because 

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they can't name anything, 
particularly horrific, that 

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happened to them. 
So, let's talk about trauma 

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first, because, what we think 
trauma is is Mama, but we're 

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understanding it incorrectly. 
So Stephen gosh. 

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What's his name? 
Steven Levine and best over 

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Bessel. 
Van Der kolk who are pioneers 

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and the realm of noticing how 
the body stores. 

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The trauma, kind of break it 
down to trauma. 

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That is anything that is too 
much too fast or too soon. 

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What does that mean too? 
Much means any Stimulation. 

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That overwhelms, your coping 
skills that does not have to be 

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something bad. 
It doesn't have to be a fire. 

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It doesn't have to be a war. 
Anything that overwhelms, your 

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ability to cope in. 
That moment is too much and 

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that's a trauma, someone that, I
know actually had a traumatic 

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fifth birthday. 
Why? 

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Because it was a surprise party 
and having all of those people 

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jump out and scream at this 
person. 

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Was overwhelming. 
And so what was meant to be a 

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joyous occasion was actually a 
trauma. 

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So if you're looking for traumas
and you think, oh, a surprise 

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party is a trauma. 
Not for everyone, but it was for

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this person because it was too 
much too fast. 

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If someone accelerates your 
sexual activity, in a way that 

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you're not ready for that can be
traumatic if you have. 

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Have too many changes at once 
that can be traumatic, you move 

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change jobs, have a baby, get 
married, have knee surgery, and 

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all of those things too fast. 
Maybe you're coping, sit skills 

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would be able to deal with them 
if they came one at a time. 

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But when they come all in a row,
that becomes a trauma or Too 

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Soon, a lot of trauma around 
abuse sexual and otherwise is 

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that people are treating. 
Children like adults. 

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If if you were going to get away
from sexual trauma right now, 

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but if you are eight years old 
and you have to take care of 

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your 64 and two-year-old 
siblings, because your parents 

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are out of commission due to 
addiction that is too soon. 

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Being a parent at eight is too 
soon so too much too fast or Too

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Soon is going to get coated in 
your body as well as trauma. 

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And so motivation is a conscious
process. 

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Trauma responses are an 
unconscious process. 

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So what happens is we will be in
a trauma response and will think

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we're lazy or crazy because it's
contrary to our conscious 

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intention Lisa. 
Feldman, Barrett does a lot of 

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wonderful research. 
She has a book called seven and 

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a half truths about the brain 
and she has another one. 

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How emotions are made? 
If you read these two books, it 

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will upend what you think is 
true. 

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They stood for me, our popular 
conception of how the brain 

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works. 
How emotions work, how we work 

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is just wrong, it's wrong. 
So trauma response can be 

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explained by this your body, 
your mind, your body, might your

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mind, body is not in the 
business of making you happy, 

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it's in the business of keeping 
you alive. 

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And one of the primary functions
of your brain is to predict your

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energy needs and prepare 
accordingly, predict your energy

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needs and prepare accordingly. 
So what this looks like out on 

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the Savannah is Is that if your 
your brain body senses that you 

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may be in a situation where game
and food is scarce, your body 

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will switch into conservation, 
it will slow everything down, it

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will shut you down to conserve 
energy because it does not know 

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when you're going to get your 
next meal. 

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That shutdown. 
Looks a lot like being lazy. 

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It looks a lot like depression. 
It looks a lot like the Being 

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unmotivated. 
If your body brain senses that 

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you are currently in a situation
of danger, it will keep you 

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moving in order to keep you 
safe. 

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So if your brain body senses a, 
we're not safe or not safe, keep

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it moving, keep it moving, keep 
it moving. 

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If you got to stay in action, 
otherwise, the Tigers going to 

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get you. 
That's going to look like, I 

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can't focus. 
That's gonna look like ADD ADHD.

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That's going to look like I sit 
down to do my homework and my 

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brain is racing. 
So the trauma response is really

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are. 
Your brain. 

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Body is trying to allocate your 
energy for current or future 

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threats. 
So if your brain senses that 

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you're under threat, now, it's 
going to keep you moving 

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distracted and running around 
out. 

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If your brain senses that a 
threat to maeby coming, it's 

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going to shut you down in 
anticipation of saving that 

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energy for the future. 
So how does this help us 

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understand? 
Innovation. 

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So you think, okay, consciously,
I did my New Year's resolutions,

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I'm going to do, I'm going to do
all of these wonderful things to

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uplevel my life and make my life
better. 

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Yeah. 
And then what you find yourself 

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doing instead is watching cute 
little animal videos on 

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Instagram for two or three 
hours. 

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Well, what's that for? 
Some reason, your body brain 

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senses. 
The idea that you're going to be

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in danger in the near future and
you better Just keep it down now

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so that when you need to run or 
fight you have plenty of 

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resources, your body brain, 
doesn't want you to squander 

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your resources on going to the 
gym. 

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If you're going to have to fight
later or your body bring feels 

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unsafe right now, it feels 
unsafe and so it keeps you 

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agitated so that you can fight 
or flee sidebar, we always say 

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fight flight or freeze, that's 
really not the order that you're

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Nobody chooses your body's first
response is to flee fight and 

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freeze will only come into play.
If you can't get away just a 

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sidebar because we always judge 
ourselves for our, our flea and 

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freeze responses, and we think 
we should always fight but your 

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body prefers fleeing because 
what's safer, fighting a 

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saber-toothed tiger or not 
having the saber-toothed tiger 

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around you, but I digress. 
So what we're judging ourselves 

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for as Lazy or crazy is a trauma
response. 

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And the myth is that we need to 
understand or know what the 

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trauma is in order to solve it. 
That is a lie. 

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What we need to do is become 
exquisitely, interested in 

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understanding our own trauma 
response, so we know how to 

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counteract it. 
So if you are completely 

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unmotivated, you're feeling 
lazy, your body is shut down. 

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Your body is saving and storing 
energy for future threat. 

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And so, once you to conserve 
energy, now we talked last week 

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about panic and anxiety 
episodes. 

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So a lot of times, the anxiety 
and depression will be like this

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pendulum swinging, and so when 
you're not currently having an 

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anxiety episode, your body will 
shut down into a depression 

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trauma. 
Vaughn's in anticipation of the 

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anxiety episode, to make sure 
you have enough energy. 

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Does that make sense? 
If you have ever or you have 

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ever restricted food, 
consciously hear me diet if your

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ancestors had food scarcity, 
there is very likely in your 

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body, a tendency towards shut 
down either. 

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By restricting your food have 
either. 

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Earlier involuntarily or being 
descended from people who lived 

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through famines or who had food 
scarcity for any reason, may 

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predispose you to that shutdown,
you have encoded in your nervous

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system. 
The idea that food is scarce. 

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It's better just to keep the 
energy as low as possible for as

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long as possible so that you 
will survive. 

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Remember your brain is not in 
the business of keeping you 

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happy or motivated, or rich or 
are popular. 

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It's in the business. 
Of keeping you alive contrarily.

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If you have had Invasion, 
traumas, where things have 

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happened to you, think about 
those things, the example that I

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gave you of the five-year-old 
birthday party, that felt so 

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scary and overwhelming to that 
person. 

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That's a kind of an invasion 
trauma. 

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And so that's going to 
predisposed towards agitation 

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being scattered being jumpy, you
know, and you can fill in your 

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own examples of other kinds of 
Invasion. 

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Traumas, that would keep you 
predisposed towards, I'm not 

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safe. 
I'm not safe. 

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I'm not safe. 
I'm not safe. 

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So we got to learn what our body
signals are. 

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So if you notice that, you can't
focus, think to yourself, 

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something about what's happening
right now is making me feel like

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I am not safe. 
I'm not crazy. 

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I'm having a trauma response. 
If you notice that you're 

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feeling are quotes, unmotivated,
lazy, you're not, you're having 

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a trauma response and you tell 
yourself this trauma response 

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today thinks I need to conserve 
energy for a future threat. 

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And now let's think about some 
of what we can do to counteract 

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that. 
So I'm going to borrow again 

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from Britt Frank. 
Her book is so good. 

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So here is some some 
suggestions. 

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Okay? 
Let's say you are stuck in the 

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agitated State. 
First thing to do is to notice, 

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I can't focus on feeling 
agitated. 

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I'm all over the place. 
I'm having a trauma response. 

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This is a physiological process,
I am not crazy. 

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And then you want to get into 
your senses. 

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You want to do, find a way to 
blanket and essential oil, is 

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soft music. 
A warm tea. 

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You want to count backwards from
some weird number. 

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Like 37, you want to get your 
body to get out of that complete

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agitation and into a safer 
feeling. 

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And to say four senses, you want
to do that, classic grounding 

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skill Five things, you can see 
four things. 

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You can hear three things, you 
can touch two things. 

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You can smell one thing, you can
taste. 

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You might want to get the trauma
response out of your body. 

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Do jumping jacks, push as hard 
on a wall as you possibly can to

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activate those muscles and then 
release it. 

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Look for some place in your body
that isn't activated and focus 

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on that. 
Put your, put your hand on your 

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pets, heart and count, their 
heart beats for a few minutes. 

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You want to get very very into 
the body in a way that tells 

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your body. 
We're safe right now, one of my 

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favorite exercises for bringing 
out of that agitated on On 

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nervous system on state is to 
use your peripheral vision, if 

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you wear glasses, it's really 
handy. 

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While you're staring. 
Straight Ahead. 

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Use your peripheral vision to 
focus on the arms of your 

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glasses at because we are 
predators eyes in front love to 

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hunt eyes on this. 
I'd love to hide because we are 

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predators. 
When we fit sense, danger, we 

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get what's called tunnel vision,
we are extremely focused. 

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When we are calm and relaxed, we
have a wider field of vision. 

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So mechanically using a wider 
field of vision. 

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Like looking at the corners of 
your glasses are doing that 

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exercise, where you put your 
fingers together in front of 

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you, keep your eyes focused in 
the front of you and then slowly

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bring your fingers out to the 
side. 

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Seeing how far out you can get 
them and still see them while 

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holding your eyes still. 
So, one of my favorite things to

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do is to get into peripheral 
vision. 

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Okay. 
What about the other thing? 

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You're stuck in the dorsal vagal
state. 

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Depression, the first thing to 
do is remind yourself. 

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You are not lazy or unmotivated,
you tell yourself I am having a 

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trauma response. 
This is a body thing. 

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I am not crazy and then you want
to shake yourself out of it. 

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Ice-cold really good for it. 
You want to rub an ice cube on 

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your forehead. 
Drop an ice cube down the back 

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of your shirt, put An ice pack 
on your neck. 

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Take a cold shower, Splash, cold
water, on your face, cold is a 

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great state change. 
So, cold is one of my favorite 

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go twos and be sure not to get 
caught in the. 

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Why it is a, it is a lie in an 
illusion that you need to know 

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why. 
Something is happening in order 

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to solve it. 
That's true in engineering. 

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It is not true. 
In the human heart. 

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You do not need to know why. 
You're Having a trauma response 

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in order to do something about 
it. 

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You just need to know that you 
are having a trauma response in 

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order to do something about it. 
Make sure you watch yourself 

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talk. 
Watch yourself talk. 

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Don't don't say, oh, I'm 
drowning. 

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I'm so overwhelmed. 
I'll never make it. 

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I'm, I'm buried alive. 
Watch yourself talk and get 

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super specific. 
So if you were feeling hashtag, 

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hashtag the air quotes 
unmotivated feelingly See 

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depressed, forget the emotion 
words and use fats. 

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What's on your list of things 
that you are supposed to be 

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doing? 
Write them down specifically. 

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You might want to, you can shock
your senses with something. 

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Sour like a bite of lemon. 
You're noticing a trend here, 

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right? 
We want to shock the body. 

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Wake it up a little bit. 
So, cold water squirting. 

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A lemon under your tongue. 
Move your Your Body Move Your 

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Body mechanically and it'll give
your body a hint to keep moving 

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dance party. 
Dance party works for both, put 

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00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:40,600
on some music, put on, put on 
some music and dance it out like

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00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,100
a five minute dance break will 
help get your stress response 

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00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:48,400
out of your body and if you are 
in an agitated State, it'll help

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00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,900
calm it down. 
And if you are an unmotivated 

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State, just And around for a 
little while will help. 

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So what have we learned today? 
Your brain is in the business of

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keeping you alive and I keeping 
you happy or rich or popular 

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Your brains work. 
One of its primary jobs is to 

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predict your energy needs and 
budget accordingly. 

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00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:18,300
There is a viral blog or post or
something that went around 

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00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:22,300
recently about spoons and the 
idea being that every day, you 

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00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:25,300
get a certain amount of spoons 
and certain activities, take up 

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00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,100
a certain amount of spoons. 
And then when you're done for 

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00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,200
the day, you're done for the 
day. 

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That is your brain, budgeting 
your energy based on its 

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predictions One of the things 
that therapy can help you do is 

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to make your predictions more 
accurate. 

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00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:43,000
If you are actually safe, and 
your brain is judging you as 

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00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,300
being unsafe, it is in 
accurately, predicting, your 

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00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:49,200
energy needs it. 
Thinks you need to run and fight

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00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,400
right now when actually, you are
completely fine and sitting at a

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00:20:53,408 --> 00:20:58,700
desk in an office or it thinks 
that you better conserve all of 

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00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:01,300
your energy because you never 
know when something terrible is 

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00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:05,000
going to happen, or you have to 
conserve Your energy because you

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00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,800
never know if this is the time 
where the food stops coming. 

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00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,400
Right? 
So part of what we do in therapy

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is as you resolve. 
These traumas, it helps your 

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00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:18,300
brain make better predictions 
when your brain makes better 

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00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:20,800
predictions. 
Then it's going to do a better 

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00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:25,200
job at allocating your spoons, 
your daily energy budget, and 

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00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,100
you'll be better able to achieve
your goals. 

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00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,900
You are not lazy or crazy or 
unmotivated for whatever reason.

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00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,400
You're having a trauma response 
and you do not need to know what

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00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,100
that reason is. 
You need to acknowledge notice 

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00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:44,100
it and do the thing that will 
shake you out of it. 

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00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,600
Okay, so there's a lot in this 
episode, there's a lot. 

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00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:52,700
So we just want to break it 
down. 

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00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:58,400
Notice you're having a trauma 
response and then make a choice.

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00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:07,300
Make a choice. 
Make a choice, every action, you

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00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,700
take is a vote in favor of the 
kind of person that you want to 

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00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,700
be. 
Calling yourself. 

339
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:15,300
Lazy is not making a vote for 
yourself. 

340
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:17,700
Call, you lazy is call yourself 
lazy. 

341
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:19,300
It's just going to make it 
worse. 

342
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:22,700
Calling yourself crazy is just 
going to make it worse. 

343
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,100
When you notice, you're not 
doing the things that you want 

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00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:29,700
to do a little self compassion. 
And then make a choice, get up 

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00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:35,300
and dance, get up and dance, get
up and get grounded, get up and 

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00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:40,900
get cold, whatever it takes. 
And then notice just notice how 

347
00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:46,900
that pattern interrupt feeds you
and the more you make choices in

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00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:50,600
favor of yourself, the better, 
your brain is going to Edit 

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00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,100
allocating that budget right? 
It becomes this virtuous cycle. 

350
00:22:55,400 --> 00:23:00,900
So I hope this has been helpful.
You are not lazy or crazy or 

351
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:04,500
unmotivated and you don't have 
to spend the next 15 years. 

352
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:08,000
In therapy resolving all of your
traumas before you can start to 

353
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,700
get moving. 
Please do, go to therapy, please

354
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:15,300
do go to therapy. 
And when you notice that trauma 

355
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:18,800
response in your body, make a 
choice to do. 

356
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,000
One of the things that I 
suggested or something of your 

357
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,900
own creation to break that state
and get you. 

358
00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:27,700
In alignment with what it is 
that you decided you wanted. 

359
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:31,900
And you know why it's important 
for you to be in alignment with 

360
00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:35,400
what you have, decided that you 
wanted, because you're awesome, 

361
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:40,000
because you're amazing because 
you are whole, perfect, and 

362
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,300
complete, and you are worthy and
deserving of a Life. 

363
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:49,700
So Glorious. 
That transcends. 

364
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:56,100
Even your own imagination. 
Thank you for being here. 

365
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,400
And I mean, that on the planet 
thank you for being on the 

366
00:23:58,408 --> 00:24:01,000
planet. 
I am so glad to be going through

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00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,000
this very interesting time on 
planet. 

368
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,900
Earth with you. 
I'm glad to have you as a 

369
00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:10,600
companion on this journey and 
thank you for being here at the 

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00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,700
podcast. 
I enjoy spending this time with 

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00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:16,300
you so much until next time.