Hello beautiful humans, and welcome to the Mental Wellness
Wake Up Show, a weekly podcast where growthminded, creative
people come to learn best practices from both spirituality
and psychology that create lasting wellbeing.
I am your host, mental Wellness expert, improvised acting
teacher, therapist and coach Dawn McMillan.
Let's get to it. Alright.
Hello you gorgeous, beautiful people.
You. We are back.
And if this is your first time here, Bless you.
Bless you. Bless you.
I'm so glad, so delighted that you were here.
Thanks for coming. And for all of my returning
listeners, here's a Key Lime Pie of love for you.
So thanks for coming. We are continuing our Enneagram
series. The Enneagram is a nine pointed
wisdom system, has a huge, rich and varied history well worth
digging into. We are only skimming the surface
of this Enneagram and we are doing it in service of the idea
that human beings, human die, are way too complex.
Way too rich, way too varied to ever fit into a single box.
So you cannot be limited to an astrology sign, a Big 5
personality description, or an enniogram type.
So what looking into the enniogram really can do is help
us understand ourselves and others better.
And then we can integrate all of those personality
characteristics that are embodied in the different types.
Cool. Cool, cool.
So we have moved into the triad, the 5-6 and sevens that are
considered the Head triad or the Fear Anxiety Motivated Triad.
So we learned last time that Anyogram fives tend to relate to
their five, excuse me, their fear slash anxiety by having as
few needs as possible and seeking to understand the world
as deeply as possible. So now we're moving on to any
AGRAM 6 and any AGRAM sixes are really fun for me to study as an
ANY AGRAM 5. ANY AGRAM sixes are really fun
because they tend to come in two subtypes, and that's a little
bit unusual. So when you think about an ANY
AGRAM 6, ANY AGRAM, sixes are really more characterized by the
relationship to anxiety. Like when you think of a
stereotypical anxious person or someone who's living in anxiety,
you might be summing and and summoning the image of an
anagram 6. So as per usual, I will be
flipping around my books trying to make sure I get you the best
information. So let's let's see what we call
anagram sixes. So anagram sixes are called the
loyalist, the guardian, the true believer, the doubter, the
troubleshooter, the traditionalist, the stalwart,
the questioner. Did I say loyalist?
So sixes, sixes are motivated by
the need for security. Now there's two types.
There are phobic sixes and counter phobic sixes.
So phobic sixes are outwardly fearful and seek approval.
Counter phobic sixes confront their fears and any one person
can have both. So what can happen is like I I
hope you can hear the air quotes.
A phobic 6 is going to be the kind of person who goes around
and checks all the outlets before they leave the house and
double checks that the stove is off packs.
You know a full first aid kit which includes what do you call
those? An EEG machine or no, there's
what do you call those machines where you're like people and you
bring them back to life. So any gram phobic, any gram
sixes are are noticeable. Their anxiety is noticeable to
other people, Counter phobic sixes.
However, sometimes people read as eights because their attitude
is like, I'm going to run head first into that thing that
scares me to make it stop. So we'll talk a little bit more
about that. So sixes at their best are
loyal, likable, caring, warm, compassionate, witty, practical,
helpful, responsible. Sixes at their worst are hyper
vigilant, controlling, unpredictable, judgmental,
paranoid, defensive, rigid, selfdefeating, testy, and yours
truly, I would add hypochondriacs.
So let's talk about what's driving sixes.
Now remember, we we look at the NAR gram as loose guidelines,
and it's not a perfect map, it's just a helpful way of
characterizing the way that people respond.
Everyone has fear, Everyone has anxiety.
Everyone has shame. Everyone has finger but your
personality type, your lead way of showing up in the world may
be reflected in one more than the others.
We're all everything. We're all everything.
So the basic fear of the Type 6
is of having no support, no guidance, of being unable to
survive on their own. Their basic desire is to find
security and support. They're super ego message you
are good or okay if you do what is expected of you now one way
some niagram 6 find that security is by being a joiner
like the. The one of the reasons they're
called the loyalist is that they will identify with a certain
ideology, a certain Group, A certain college.
And they will be like the most gung ho and at the which is
nothing wrong with being loyal, obviously.
And there's nothing wrong with being a super booster of a point
of view or your university or your job or whatever group you
belong to. As long as it's done in a way
that leaves room for clear headed thinking.
And it's not a substitute for your own autonomy.
And the idea is, if I'm a member of this community, then I have
that support, I have that guidance, I have that ability to
survive. So let's look at let's look at
something about about sixes, right.
So one thing that can be hard about being a six, they say, is
the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my
mind. Procrastinating because of fear
of failure, having little confidence in myself.
So one of the ways that sixes feel secure is through other
people often. Sometimes you're being told what
to do, or having rules or regulations to follow.
And so sometimes when they're left to their own devices, which
is a basic fear of theirs, it can be very difficult for them
to make up their minds. What's hard about being a six,
fearing being abandoned, or taking advantage of exhausting
myself by worrying and scanning for dangers?
One of the fundamental questions at the heart of a person who's
an aneogram 6 is what's wrong, What's wrong?
And so sometimes that point of
view can be exhausting. Another challenge is wishing I
had a rule book at work so I could do everything right, being
too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my
expectations. So what are the gifts of the
six, right? Like, if you're listening to
this and you're not in an Anagram 6, you might have some
empathy for how difficult it can be to to sort of live with this
constant trauma, fear, and anxiety.
For the rest of us, one of the gifts that we get from an
Anagram Sixes is that sometimes they are the funniest people on
the planet. Many, many comedians are
Anyagram sixes, right? So you take this person who's
going through life with this point of view, noticing
everything that's wrong, and it might come out and get you.
It makes some very good observers, especially like if if
you're in anyogram 6 with the five wing, you're going to be a
very good observer of human nature, and if you're in
anyogram 6 with the seven wing, you're going to be out there
doing crazy things. What are wings?
It's that idea that your primary anyogram type can be influenced
by the types to the left or the right of you in the circle.
So yeah, a lot of aniogram sixes are so funny.
They're so funny. It's that like, I'm so neurotic,
I'm funny kind of thing which, you know, there's a gift in
everything. There's a gift in everything.
So let's go into the Reso Hudson system and let's talk a little
bit about how they progress through the unhealthy levels to
the healthier levels. Before we jump into that, have
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Can you leave a 5 star review? Our community is growing
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We continue to have more people. I continue to get emails and
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It means the world to me. And I I do this, I I rarely, if
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of love for me. And the more we can share
information with other people who need it.
Like, I like to think of this podcast.
It's like just a little inoculation as you go through
your week from all the madness in the world.
It's like, oh, that's right. I'm actually okay and here's a
tool or resource that can use to be even more OK all right, end
of advertisement. So an anyogram 6 at an unhealthy
level is self abasing self-destructive.
So the realization that they have committed acts for which
they will likely be punished is too much for unhealthy sixes.
Guilt and self hatred lead lead them to punish themselves,
inviting disgrace and bringing down all that they have
achieved. Suicide attempts to elicit
rescue are not uncommon. That's a very, very unhealthy
version of an iniogram level. And remember that these levels
are not absolute progressions in a linear fashion.
You can bounce up and down amongst them depending on how
stressed you are, what's going on in your life.
But for the most part, most people are going to find
themselves who are listening to this podcast and in this
community. Certainly at these higher
levels, it can be helpful to know that these dangers are are
there for you, and it can also help you help you help other
people. All right, A level 8 in your
Gram 6 is paranoid. Lashing out six.
It's become so insecure and desperate that they begin to
believe that others will destroy whatever safety they have left.
They harbor paranoid fears and delusional ideas about the
world. They rant about their obsessive
fears and may strike out at real or imagined enemies.
You've met them on the Internet. Yeah, some of them hold public
office. All right, level 7.
So we're moving up to the top of the unhealthy range here.
Level sixes are panicky and unreliable.
Sixes fear that their actions have harmed their own security,
and this may be true. Their reactive behavior may have
caused crises in their lives, so they trust themselves even less.
They feel panicky, depressed, and helpless, and so look for
something to save them from their predicament.
Remember what I said when you're thinking about it?
An anxious person you might be thinking of as an Anniagram 6 at
this panicky and unreliable state.
These people at this level, they're reacting to their
anxiety, often by using other people as security objects.
So this is the person who can't go anywhere without their
significant other because they they don't know how to regulate
themselves. OK, moving up, so now we're just
sort of average, and average doesn't mean that most people
are in this range. We're talking about sort of the
Midland level of emotional and spiritual maturity and growth.
So at this level, these sixes can be authoritarian and blaming
sixes fear that they are losing the support of their allies and
they are extremely unsure of themselves.
So they look for causes for the for their anxiety.
They are embittered, cynical and reactive.
Feeling that their good faith has been betrayed.
They blame others and get into power struggles.
There seems to be a lot of organizations.
Yes, organizations can have an niagram type political movements
and social groups that are operating at this level right
now. They are embittered, cynical and
reactive. They're looking to blame others
as the cause of their anxiety. And the truth is, everything
that bothers us. The call's coming from inside.
When you are feeling some sort of disturbing emotion, it's
because you are believing something that isn't true.
OK, that requires a lot of unpacking.
Do with that what you will. Maybe we'll revisit that another
episode, right? Moving up an average in a year,
Gram 6, who's operating at a Level 5 is going to find
themselves being ambivalent and defensive. 6 is worried that
they cannot meet the conflicting demands of their different
commitments, so they try to resist having any more pressure
put on them without alienating their supporters.
They are anxious, pessimistic, in suspicion, suspicious,
leading to greater caution, impulsiveness, and indecision.
This is that. That ambivalence is usually what
I see. It's like there's too much I
can't do. I can't meet, I can't meet
everything. I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Do I do this thing or that thing?
I don't know. I don't know.
Please, nobody be mad at me.
Moving up Level 4, dutiful and loyal.
So this is the top of the average level.
Sixes begin to fear that they will lose their independence,
but also believe they need more support.
They invest themselves in the people and organizations that
they believe will help them, but are uneasy about it.
They seek reassurance and guidance and procedures, rules,
authorities, and philosophies. So you can hear that sort of
joiner tendency that I mentioned earlier.
This is I I I don't lose my independence, but I also I don't
feel safe and okay. So I'm going to follow some
rules here. As long as I follow the rules,
everything will be fine. And you can see how if someone
is in that that frame, if I follow the rules, everything
will be fine. And then they get betrayed by, I
don't know late stage capitalism that they might fall to that
lower level of authoritarian like I did what I was supposed
to do and I didn't get what I was supposed to get.
And then you can see how someone might start getting into that,
that blame and power struggle situation.
OK, moving up. So now we're into the healthy
level. This is where any gram sixes get
to use their gifts and their superpowers because yes, every
group has a superpower. So Level 3, any gram 6 is
committed and cooperative. So six is reinforce their
self-image by responsibly working to create and sustain
mutually beneficial systems. They form alliances with others
bringing thrift, hard work and an attention to detail.
They're well disciplined and practical often for seeing
potential problems before they arise.
So I remember I said that one of the questions that just drives
in any of Gram 6 is what's wrong.
And here in the health healthy under healthy liver in the
healthy level any of Gram 6 is using that fault finding
tendency in service of mutually beneficial systems of alliances
of foreseeing potential problems before they arise.
Cool, right. So you go camping with an
Niagram 6. They're the ones that actually
checked the weather report and brought that extra blanket
right. That's a healthy niagram 6 and
healthy niagram 6 is a such a boon to any any team.
Like every team needs everybody. I don't want to be like if I
didn't say that every team needs one of you, please don't take it
personally. Every team needs everybody.
Like, you know, like every team should be like a team of nine.
Maybe. I don't know.
Would it be cool if like the Supreme Court justices were each
chosen from one any agram type. What would be even cooler is if
every Supreme Court Justice I'm in the US were whole and
integrated enough to have integrated all the types and
actually be wise. But I digress.
All right, A healthy an Arigram 6 at a level 2 engaging and
reliable 6 is focused on the environment to find, support and
alert themselves to dangers. They are friendly, trustworthy,
engaging, seeking to build connection and stability in
their world self-image. I'm solid, attentive and
dependable. Fun right?
And that engaging thing, That friendly and engaging thing,
really honestly often shows up in show business.
It often shows up in charm right any A gram sixes.
And in particular, in my opinion, this is Don's opinion.
The world according to Don and he A gram sixes with A7 wing
really are like often just the most charming people you'll ever
meet because they have that sort of self effacing thing and that
sense of adventure from the any A Gram 7.
But Don we don't know about any A gram sevens yet.
You will next week. OK, level 1A, super healthy and
aiogram 6 is self reliant and courageous.
Liberated sixes let go of the belief that they must rely on
someone or something outside themselves for support.
They discover their own inner guidance.
They also paradoxically achieve their basic desire to find
security and support, particularly in their own inner
guidance. They then become truly secure
with themselves grounded, serene and valiant.
What I would love to be called valiant.
Like what a beautiful word to describe these people.
Like are you thinking like a Gryffindors grounded?
Serene and valiant like Oh my gosh Can you imagine being like
grounded, serene, valiant and funny.
So any of gram 6 is really do have a lot to offer in my
opinion. As I said y'all y'all know by
now that I'm an any of Gram 5. So I I don't live as an any of
gram six. I think it can be really hard to
be an any of Gram 6, but I think a healthy any of Gram 6 is like
such a gift to the rest of the world.
Did you did you hear that word? Valiant?
Did you hear Valiant? Here's some suspected anneagram.
Sixes. Princess Diana.
Tom Hanks. Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Jay
Leno. Ellen DeGeneres Gilda Radner.
Katie Couric. Jack Lemmon.
Rush Limbaugh. The George Costanza character
from Seinfeld. So John Richard Riso and Russ
Hudson agree with me that Enneagram sixes with A7 wing.
They're an entertainment yay for us.
And then an Enneagram 6 with A5 wing.
Remember that Valiant word Examples?
Probably Robert Kennedy, Malcolm X, Tom Clancy, Bruce
Springsteen, Michelle Pfeiffer, Diane Keaton, Gloria Steinem,
Candice Bergen, Mel Gibson, Janet Reno, Richard Nixon.
You know, someone should do a multicultural anagram book.
Maybe that someone is me. Because sometimes these examples
come from a very specific cultural, cultural lens.
Might be interesting to widen that out.
But yeah, So if you're an Anagram 6, that anxiety that's
driving you can actually be your superpower.
And when it is, you become a valuable asset to the rest of
us. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, this is so beautiful. Here's a quote.
I get anxious and then I look for the reasons why I'm anxious.
OK, woo woo alert. We're about to get woo woo and
then I'll wrap it up. I think sometimes people are any
Agram sixes because they're highly sensitive people, HS P's
and or they are deep empaths so they pick up the free floating
anxiety on the planet and because they don't know it's not
theirs, I get anxious and then I look for reasons why I'm
anxious. So if you find yourself living
with a lot of anxiety whether you're an Niagram 6 or not,
maybe that's not yours. Emotions are contagious,
contagious. I have a cold, emotions are
contagious. So you might be experiencing
just of the air, the the emotional air.
OK, we're getting long. So any what can we what can we
do for our own growing if we are not NA gram sixes and we want to
learn from them. So let's let's talk about
building on strengths of the NA gram sixes.
NA gram sixes are endowed with tremendous endurance and achieve
their objectives through steady and persistent effort.
They give careful attention to details and approach problems
carefully and methodically. They organize resources,
prioritize tasks, and see projects through.
All right, y'all the rest of us, let's learn.
Let's learn about dependability. Let's learn about craftsmanship,
Dependability, Craftsmanship. This is what we learned from our
anagram sixes. Pay attention to those details.
Take pride in your craftsmanship, your craftsperson
ship. Yes, yes, yes.
Stay on top of things so that your world runs as trouble free
as possible. Pay your bills early.
Start the project early. That is what we can learn from
our any agram sixes and tell my any agram sixes who have
channeled your superpowers into taking care of the rest of us
just a little bit better. We thank you.
All right. That's it for now.
So as we move into the week and we lean into the superpowers
that we can learn from our any Agram 6 Brethren, Cystren and
people run them, run, go with that.
Can I be the one to remind you that whatever you're in, your
gram type may or may not be, you are all that and more.
You're beautiful. You're amazing.
You are a delight. You are a unique offering from
life to the world. You are a freaking gift.
So I hope you will this week treat yourself with honor and
respect and dignity because you are whole, you are perfect, you
are complete, and you are worthy and deserving of a life so
daggone terrific that you jump up and down when you get out of
bed in the morning. Until next time.