Hello, beautiful humans and welcome to the mental Wellness.
Wake up, show a weekly podcast where growth minded creative
people, come to learn, best practices from both spirituality
and psychology that create lasting well-being.
I am your host mental Wellness, expert improvised acting teacher
therapist and Coach, Don McMillan.
Let's get to it. It.
Hello, you gorgeous. Beautiful humans.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for hanging out with
me. Thank you for giving me your
time and your attention. It's a beautiful day, my
friends. It is a beautiful day no matter
when or where you are listening to this, I guarantee you there's
something of beauty that you could attend to, and if you
can't think of anything else, fine.
Joe self a mirror and check yourself out because I guarantee
you You are beautiful, true fact.
True fact hear me now, believe me now and later you are a
beautiful being. So, what I want to talk about
today are emotions, even emotions.
I read this amazing quote, it's from Hale dwoskin, the leader of
the Sedona Method institution process would over.
Ooh, he didn't create it, but he's expanded it.
So the didn't Sedona Method is a releasing and letting go process
that can be wildly transformative.
So I actually bought the Sedona Method book.
I've bought other resources from Hale dwoskin and he actually has
monthly calls. We can just hop on and do
releasing with him. It's pretty cool.
Here's the quote. Emotions are just emotions.
They are not you. They are not facts and you can
let them go. and I tell you if if we could all just crack that
and fullness, if we could just really deeply understand that I
would be out of a job as a therapist.
Please put me out of a job. I've always secretly wanted to
open a barbershop, spend my days doing shaves and Fades.
So feel free to unemployment by understanding emotions are just
emotions. They are not you, they are not
facts and you can let them go. Emotions are just emotions.
They are not you, they are not facts and you can let them go.
In our culture, we tend to swing wildly from on the one end.
Emotions Don't Matter. Their distractions be
hyper-rational hyper logic logical.
Ignore and suppress your feelings and in response to that
we have the other end of the pendulum, which is emotions are
the most important thing, we must feel them, Express them,
obey them, follow them, and let them lead.
All of our life's decisions and control our experiences. for
those of you who have been around me for a while, you're
going to hear a both and 99% of the time when you find yourself
in an either or situation, there's a both and available to
you. In fact, either or black and
white thinking is a cognitive error that tends to lead to
suffering. either, or it's this or that it's black or white, you
know what else is a cognitive error that leads to suffering,
emotional reasoning, emotional reasoning.
So let's break that down. Let's break that down so that we
can really allow it to sink into our bones in a way that enables
us to use this quote in our lives starting now, But before I
do that, thank you. Thank you for being here.
Did I say that already?
I don't know. This is my second pass it
recording. Thank you for being here.
And if you're new around here, welcome, welcome, welcome.
This is a safe place for you to be and I adore you even though I
haven't met you in person yet. And for my continuing listeners,
I don't know how to tell you this, but you are.
In fact, some of the most amazing people on the planet
today. It's true people talk It's a
true thing. So thank you.
All right, so emotions are just emotions.
What does that mean? Your emotions are created by
thoughts that you believe in Sensations in your body.
Your emotions are created by thoughts that you believe and
Sensations in your body. Classic example, your heart is
racing, your palms are sweating. If you are about to walk on
stage in front of a thousand people, you might think that
you're anxious. If you are about to get on the
fastest roller coaster that's ever been made, you might think
you are excited. bodily Sensations are the same the
thought that you are choosing to believe in that moment
determines, which emotion shows up for you emotions are just
physical, Sensations and thoughts that you believe You're
probably hearing the subtext, which is, if you choose to have
different thoughts and or believe different thoughts, or
shout out to our people who have actually reached Enlightenment
in this lifetime. You can not entertain your
thoughts at all. You can exist in a space outside
of the thinking mind, in a way that allows you to be aware of
your thoughts and not necessarily have any feelings
about them at all. They come, they go.
So, if your emotions are just
emotions thoughts and pictures in your head, sorry, I have to
say pictures. I forget not everyone is as
verbal as I am thoughts and pictures in your head. that
you're making important in bodily Sensations that you are
giving meaning to Tada end of story.
So those are not you. I know, you know, that
intellectually but there are a lot of us who are operating
from, I feel therefore. I am.
We give Credence to our personality as the way that we
feel. Like I feel about this.
I feel about that I like this. I like that I was just talking
with my sister about, there's a country Festival coming on
Amazon soon and we were just talking about fandoms, you know,
and how sometimes we Define ourselves by, I love country
music. I'm the kind of person who loves
country music, that's who I am. I feel strongly about this kind
of music so that's my Identity or I Hate space.
And that's who I am. I'm the kind of person who hates
space and going to make a tribe out of that.
And an identity out of that, I like the color pink and that's
my identity. We allow our emotions to Define
our identity. And therefore, we think that
what we feel. Is Who We Are.
Descartes is famous for saying, I think, therefore I am Some of
us live as though, I feel therefore I am.
Excuse me, I can feel some sort of hat, I can feel some sort of
objections coming up if I'm not what I think.
And I'm not what I feel. Who am I?
So, jump to the chase you. Or The Thinker who thinks the
thoughts, you are. The feeler.
Who feels the feelings. You are not the thoughts.
You are not the feelings. You are the Thinker.
Who thinks the thoughts. You are.
The fielder who feels the feelings.
So feelings are just feelings. They are not you.
Feelings are not facts. You're like, wait, it's a fact
that I'm having a feeling sure, but the content of that feeling
is not a fact. Emotional reasoning is a
cognitive error that tends to cause suffering.
I feel like this person is my soulmate and therefore, even
though I only met them an hour ago, I'm going to let them move
into my apartment with me and sign over all of my checking
accounts to this person because I just feel it in my bones.
I really feel like something terrible is going to happen.
There for something, terrible is going to happen.
Feelings are not facts. Fact.
Yes, you're having a hearing fearing a feeling you're having
a feeling but the content of that feeling is not necessarily
a fact. You are believing something, you
are choosing to believe something.
You are choosing to create meaning, but Donna doesn't feel
like a choice, usually, it doesn't because it happens so
fast and it's so we have been so programmed to have the thoughts
and the feelings that we have most of what passes for thinking
during the day is re cycling the same stuff over and over and
over again, most of what passes for Um during a day is just
random stuff that's been encountered by us are programmed
into us by our and in our environment before the age of 8,
your feelings are not facts. I feel stupid.
Does that mean? I'm stupid but a stupid even
mean. I feel afraid.
Therefore, there's something to be afraid of is there is their
feelings are not. Facts.
You do not have to believe them. You do not have to obey them.
There is a way of being that acknowledges.
Oh, look anxiety is present. Isn't that interesting?
Hmm, I am noticing some despair. What am I noticing in my body?
Oh my. I'm feeling tightness in my
chest. What am I believing?
And believing that there is no hope for Humanity.
Huh? There you go.
There's the despair. Feelings are not facts.
But Dawn, what about intuition? Intuition is not a feeling,
what? No intuition is not a feeling,
it's something else. It transcends and includes
feelings, it transcends and includes thoughts.
It is something else. And one of the ways that you can
distinguish intuition from a feeling, is that intuition Is in
compassed that the word I'm looking for enveloped in peace.
Even an intuition about something air quotes.
Bad doesn't come in with, doesn't show up with Dread
normally Maybe you you get this intuition.
That something aversive may be about to happen in you put the
dread on top of it, but the intuition itself shows up in an
envelope of Peace feelings or are not facts, just because you
feel, it doesn't mean it's true, doesn't mean it's useful,
doesn't mean you have to do anything about it.
Feelings are just feelings. They are not you.
They are not fact and you can let them go.
You can let them go. You can let them go.
Baja with. Oh well that's a lot of the work
of therapy. If you want it to be and in the
same way that you can drop a pencil, you can drop a feeling,
you can choose not to continue to entertain the thoughts that
are creating and promoting the belief.
You can choose not to focus on the internal.
Station one of the read, one of the ways in which an anxiety
Sensation turns into a panic attack is by believing that the
anxiety sensation is important and terrible and we start to
focus on it. Oh my God, my heart is racing.
Oh no, no, my heart is racing. So we can let our feel sorry.
I hope that didn't trigger you take a big deep breath.
Blow it out. Like you're blowing out a
candle. You can let your feelings go.
You can do various techniques and there are a gazillion of
them to unwind from your programming to change your
thoughts. You can direct your attention
away from the feeling where the thought you can remember.
That feelings are just thoughts or images in your head that you
believe and Sensations in your body and put different thoughts
and images in your hand. There's so many ways that you
can let a feeling go in the Sedona Method. one of the main
techniques is, could you welcome this feeling?
In this moment, as best, you can.
Could you let that feeling go? Would you let that feeling go?
When yeah, it can be that simple it can't be that simple.
Another Stone in method technique which is one of my
favorites is to vacillate between the air quotes positive
in the air quotes - A lot of people have issues with their
body. so, you would I hate my body.
I love my body. Can I allow myself to love my
body as best I can in this moment?
Can I allow myself to hate my body as best I can?
In this moment, I love my body. I hate my body, I love my body,
I hate my body. Spoiler alert, that's also a
diffusion technique from acceptance and commitment
therapy. And then after a while, it
starts to become some sort of nonsense and or there starts to
be some space. The thought or the feeling so
that you can then choose what you would prefer to attend to
feelings are just feelings. They are not you.
They are not facts and you can let them go.
And what do you put in their place?
Choice. Choice.
I feel like something terrible is going to happen if I get on
that airplane. Okay, let that feeling go.
Now, will you choose? You can choose to get on the
airplane or not, but how much better is it going to be for you
and your well-being? If you make that decision in
peace rather than making that decision and panic?
Feelings are just feelings and you can let them go.
This episode is getting a little long.
So I want to jump to what about feelings?
I like, hmm, the Buddhist Temple Hospital us that we are
controlled by both are of versions.
The things we hate and can't stand and want to get rid of and
our Cravings. The things we lost four and want
to grab on to and hold onto for dear life.
Feelings are just feelings. Even the so-called good ones.
You can let those go to, you don't have to cling to them, you
don't have to reject them all feelings.
When left to their own devices, they arise they fall they come
they go and freedom. Freedom is found.
In the space, where thoughts and feelings come?
And they go. You are the Thinker who thinks
the thoughts. You are.
The feeler. Who feels the feelings.
You are the perceiver who perceives the sensations and
everything else, arises and disappears.
That's okay. And that's okay.
You know? What else is.
Okay, you, yeah, yeah. Alright.
Yeah, you were whole. You were perfect.
You are complete. You are worthy and deserving of
peace. Of peace in your mind, in your
heart, in your body, in your life.
You are worthy and deserving of peace.
Until next time, you beautiful humans.
Thanks for being here.