Hello, beautiful humans and welcome to the mental Wellness.
Wake up, show a weekly podcast where growth minded creative
people, come to learn, best practices from both spirituality
and psychology that create lasting well-being.
I am your host mental Wellness, expert improvised acting teacher
therapist and Coach, Don McMillan.
Let's get to it. It.
Beautiful, humans have a few things on my mind, but first, I
want to share with you. My thanks for putting up with
me, skipping and episode. You may notice that the
background sounds will be a little bit different.
My sweet little old man, dog and co-host, Bertram has passed
away, and he was such a light in my life and such a sweet, little
soul, and I miss him very much. The other thing that I want to
share with you is my delight and our community growing.
Thank you for liking. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for commenting, thank you for subscribing.
We've been nominated to a top-10 mental health, pal mental,
health, podcast list which I will share with you in the show
notes. If you're inclined to go take a
look at that, but it's nice to be acknowledged and to be
recognized and to know that this Little podcast, this work that I
am doing that. We are doing together is being
acknowledged and people are noticing and we are each doing
our part to make the world just a little bit better while making
our own lives just a little bit better.
So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for all of that.
If you're new around here, welcome, I'm so glad you're
here. And if you've been around
before, welcome back, time is precious and it It means the
world to me that you're sharing yours with me.
So, our main topic of today's Enneagram.
What? What?
Whoop. Something that's been on my
mind. A lot is the ways in which in
our desire for certainty, we like to limit ourselves, we like
to Define ourselves and we will take advantage of any tool we
can find to do. So for example, the Enneagram
which is e and any a gr am is a personality system.
Or at least that's how it's most often used.
It's actually a whole wisdom system that subdivides people
into nine primary personality types.
Nine primary ways of showing up in the world that's at its most
basic. It goes way deeper than that.
It is a whole wisdom system that Maps out ways of growing and
changing and integrating. But for the most part, the way,
At its used in our culture is as a personality typing system.
And what I notice about the Enneagram or astrology or the
Myers-Briggs or the Big Five personality traits or the what
color, whatever system that you personally find Value in, what I
notice is that, we really, really want to shrink ourselves
down to say. Oh, I'm like this, because I'm
like this, because Like this because I have an Aquarian Moon
Rising. I'm like this because I'm an
Enneagram 3. I'm like this because of the
specific kind of childhood trauma.
I had when I was a time like this because What I would love
to do is I would love to embrace the Enneagram because I think
it's a really fantastic system, a way of thinking, about the
world, a way of learning about ourselves.
So I'd like to embrace it and I would like us to take a look at
it from a different point of view.
I would like us to take a look at it.
Not only as a wisdom system instead of a personality typing
system but also as a map of the human psyche.
So what do I mean by that? So much of what we have come to
believe as let's see. Um so much of what we've come to
believe is, as systems of this is how things are are metaphors.
They're metaphors, their symbolism, they are ways of
describing human nature. So if we take the Enneagram, not
as some sort of authority on types of humans, but rather, as
a way of describing, the nature of the human psyche, then we can
start to look at it as, okay. Let's say I am primarily in any
A gram to what that's going to show me is here are my
Tendencies. Here are some of the ways that I
relate to myself in the world? Here are some of the ways that I
behave or tend to behave when I'm feeling strong and well
resource here is some of the ways that I tend to behave when
I'm feeling weak or challenged or stressed or overwhelmed.
So that's great. That is a great start but it is
only the start because Regardless of whatever your
primary personality type is, your zodiac sign, your, what
year you were born in your, whatever system that you're
using human design. Regardless of what your primary
way of being is, it does not have to be your destiny.
We are being called in this time and the space to stop trying to
Define ourselves and rather to create ourselves.
If you want to know the answer to why you are the Way You Are.
I've got it for you ready? Because You are the way you are,
because something in your biology met with something in
your psychology that met with something about the way that you
were brought up. And the way that you live in
community with other people and now you are the way you are.
The more interesting question is, who would I like to be?
How would I like to move through space, what version of myself
would? I be most proud of When I'm
breathing that last breath of air.
And I look back on my life, what do I want to see?
What do I want to have experienced?
What do I want to know about myself in the world and my place
in it? That's a way more interesting.
And helpful question then. Why am I the way that I am?
And it's also way more helpful and interesting than giving
ourselves that I'm this way. Because, oh, I can't help it.
I'm just such a Leo. I can't help it.
Well, If you could. What if you could?
What If instead of being? Like I'm just sewing a g 3 or my
mom, she's such an intj. I can't even deal with her right
now. What if instead of doing that we
realized that we are all everything you are a sinner and
a saint. You are the highest and the
lowest tier of the left in the right.
You are the middle. You are the center your the
circumference human beings are so vast.
So interesting. So X that it is impossible to
confine you to a single anything.
So I'm going to take a look at the end of your Gram and we're
going to go through the types and we're going to do it.
So that those people who are those primary types will know a
little bit more of the operating manual for how to thrive in
their current state of evolution.
And we are going to assume correctly.
I might add that we each have asked assets short We each have
assets and aspects of each of those parts.
And when young Ian's talk about integrating the shadow about
becoming more evolved, Becoming psychologically healthy.
A lot of what we are looking at is knowing understanding and
embracing the many facets that make up you.
So for our purposes, the many facets that makeup you at least
for a while are going to be looked at.
Oops. Are going to be looked at
through the lens of the Enneagram that going to be
looked at as these are nine aspects that make me up in
varying degrees. And what benefits can I get from
having all of these parts and what shadow parts?
What parts of me, and my rejecting not acknowledging, or
not understanding that? Thinking about them as Enneagram
parts will help me integrate. Some of you know that I use ifs
sometimes with some clients internal family systems and a
refreshment internal family systems is that it's the notion
that every individual is made up of different parts.
Every part has a function and every part is welcomed every
part belongs and family, constellations is the same way
that internal family systems is about the constellation within
you family, constellations is about the constellation that you
belong to as a River Community, whether it's your family or your
job or your church. Everyone has a place, everyone
belongs and so rather than Excavating individual Parts like
six year old artist part, blocking self-awareness part,
suicidal part, anything like that, we're going to work on our
or internal family system. Our internal constellation By
integrating the nine, basic personality types.
So I met throughout the course of this little series integrate.
In some of the work of she was such a mean who has a nine part
personality typing system that's related to the Enneagram
although he's developed another system outside of it.
But we're going to, we're just going to dig in assuming that
every part is a part of you. One caution.
The point of this is not to get defined.
Oh, I get it now, I'm an Enneagram 3 and that's why it's
really important to me to look good.
And to make sure that I have a high-status job.
No, no. You're going to notice.
Oh, I have a tendency to feel a compulsion for towards status.
Huh. I wonder what that's about.
Well, here's what I'm going to do with it.
And then we start to integrate that part into us.
We are all everything. Every part has a purpose and
every part belongs. So what are these nine parts to
the Enneagram e? NN e a gr am was popularized in
Europe by GE GE if and then brought to the west and then
Richard Rohr who is a Catholic contemplative teacher was able
to take the Enneagram and frame it and mine it for looking at
internal World from a more. Or Christian theological
perspective. So there's the true true true
roots or a known, some people think it goes back to the
Egyptians some people credit the rosicrucians for it.
The sufis, maybe we don't really know for sure, but I have found
when I am using the Enneagram that it is useful.
So that's what we're going to start with.
We could pick anything. We could pick the 12 signs of
the zodiac. We could pick the 16
Myers-Briggs types. We could pick all the different
iterations, Is of ocean which I think is 25.
If my math is correct, 25 different ways, there's the
strong survey there's positive psychology, but we're going to
stick with the Enneagram for now.
For this thought experiment as a way of becoming more integrated
more hole, More complete. We're already perfect whole and
complete but we want to experience ourselves that way
and to bring Shadow Parts in. So we're going to do a really
big overview and if you are curious about your Enneagram
type or the Enneagram in general, go to your search
engine of choice, and you will find a googolplex of
information. So there are nine personality
types of the Enneagram and they break down, kind of like this.
People have different nicknames that they give to the different,
the nine different types. This is these are the ones that
we're going to use for. Now, I'm a May mix them up over
time. So Enneagram one is the
perfectionist. And a g 2 is the helper.
Enneagram 3 is the achiever. Enneagram 4 is the romantic or
artist and a g 5 is the Observer.
And a grim 6 is the questioner. Enneagram 7 is the adventurer.
Enneagram 8 is the assert ER Any G 9 is The Peacemaker.
Now, just ask yourself as I was reading that perfectionist
helper achiever, romantic Observer questioner Adventurer
of surtur Peacemaker. If there aren't different times
and places in your life where you've played those roles.
Have you ever laid down on the middle of your floor, crying and
feeling sorry for yourself and feeling all of your feelings,
really deeply. If so you've borrowed a strength
from the Enneagram for archetype have you?
Ever, busted your bum to get straight A's to try to impress
someone like a college admissions advisor.
For example, then you've borrowed from the Enneagram
three. Archetype what about the
question or the Enneagram 6? Have you ever packed for a trip
with everything that you could possibly might could need
welcome to Enneagram 6 captain of the worst case scenario
planner, what about The Peacemaker?
When I kissed a calm Inside yourself and keep everyone else
calm to everyone to do that. So we all have we all have
everything. So each of those parts is a
primary feeling tone that drives their behavior and a primary
orientation for looking at the world.
And each of them has strengths and weaknesses based on that,
there are a lot of theories for how people become the Enneagram
type that they become. I personally don't care, you
know, for every one that fits the type like oh well you became
an Enneagram to and I really relationship focused because you
had an avoidant type parent and you had to be really helpful in
order to get attention. Or love from them for everyone
will be like. Yeah, that sounds, right.
There's going to be, you know, equally as many Enneagram teaser
like that bears. No resemblance to my own
experience so I don't think it matters.
I think what matters is we have a primary orientation for how we
move through the world that orientation has certain
Tendencies both for good and for Less good and that as each of us
begin to embrace all of our parts, We become happier, more
effective, more, complete, and less subject to the slings and
arrows of Outrageous Fortune. So again, let me just read the
the nine different types, you might from the titles.
Begin to get a sense of where these people like.
So let's do a brief description of the nine types.
And for these brief descriptions, I'm borrowing from
a book called The Enneagram Made Easy by Rene Barren and
Elizabeth wiggle, wiggle e, just because there's this, their
language is very simple. So a brief description of the
nine types page, five perfectionists, Are realistic
conscientious and principled. They strive to live up to their
highest ideals. So that could be your primary
orientation. I could be another aspect of
yourself capital S self in a-- G, too.
Helpers are warm concerned nurturing and sensitive to other
people's needs. Three, Achievers are energetic,
optimistic, self-assured and goal-oriented.
For Romantics. Have sometimes called artists
have sensitive feelings, and are warm and perceptive.
Number five, observers Romantics were for, I don't know if I said
their number five. Observers have a need for
knowledge and are introverted, curious and a little and
insightful. Six questioners are responsible
trustworthy and value loyalty to family friends, groups and
causes their personalities range.
Broadly from reserved and timid too, outspoken and
confrontative. Give your compensative.
We may have to dig into any G 6, a little bit deeply.
There's a theory that most Americans are any room Sexes.
I don't know that I buy that anymore.
I think that used to be true. I think that was more true of of
older Generations. I would not say that Millennials
and gen Z are mostly Enneagram Sixes.
But Enneagram 6 is actually have two subtypes which we may have
to talk about when we get there, any G, sevens or adventurers and
their Eric Lively and optimistic.
They want to contribute to the world.
They also tend to laugh a lot. I've noticed Enneagram ait's.
A surtur's are direct self-reliant self-confident and
protective any G nines, peacemakers are receptive
good-natured and supportive. They seek Union with others and
the world around them peacemakers.
Also, our big lovers of Creature Comforts.
So these nine types are divided into three centers, so each
Center is made up of the centers of the body.
So there's a sense of their people who are in the Heart
Center is going to be twos, threes and fours and their
challenge is around image. They're challenged can be
around. Shame, two threes and fours, our
heart or feeling Center, and their image, their challenges
around image. How they want, other people to
perceive them and can sometimes be subject to an extra dose of
Shame, So five sixes and sevens are in the head, or the thinking
center-right can be very intellectually oriented, and
their challenges around fear and worry anxiety, which are in the
same family. So that's where their challenges
come around. And then eight nines and ones
are in the gut, or the instinctive Center, and their
challenge can be around anger. Right.
A lot of a lot of the people in the area who are eight nights
and ones are going to be your shoot-from-the-hip, kind of guts
entered people and they might have struggles around anger,
whether suppressed or expressed so nine basic personality types
divided into groups of three. Now the Enneagram can get
incredibly complex because there's so many other ways to
divide it up and that's what I mean about it being a wisdom
system that can help guide you to To and through your Evolution
for us, we're going to take a big picture.
We're going to stick primarily with our main personality types.
Our to sort of influences on those types and our centers.
And if that sounded like a lot, don't worry about it.
We're going to jump into it. Feel free to type Enneagram test
into the search engine of your choice.
Lots will pop up. It'll be great.
And we're going to do this exploration really as a metaphor
in a map of the psyche, So, take it with all the grain of salt
about whether it's a wisdom system, whether it's real,
whether it's evidence-based, don't care, do not care.
We're going to do our work to look at these nine different
parts, how they interact with each other, and how we can
nurture and nourish those aspects of ourselves.
So, I hope you want to come along on this journey.
I think it's going to be super fun and if you're already an
Enneagram fan, that's that's cool.
Just stick with it. If you already know your
Enneagram type, your I got this Enneagram thing down.
Come with a beginner's mind because no matter where we are
in our Evolution, there's always more expansion available.
There's always more peace available.
There's always more joy available.
There is always a more Enlightenment available because
even though right here, right now, you are whole perfect and
complete and you are worthy and deserving of a So magnificent,
it defies even your own imagination.
It's good in. Okay, to change to both end.
It's not either or it's both and you are both perfect now and
there's opportunities to grow and change.
So I hope you'll come along for this ride, it's going to be fun.
And with that, you beautiful, beautiful, being you Thanks for
sharing your time with me and the next nine weeks ago.
On a be fun. I am so honored that you share
time with me. If you've listened this far,
then something here was a value to you.
Would you please be a friend of the podcast and share it with at
least one other person? The podcast is available on most
platforms including YouTube and I need your help to get the word
out. So please like, subscribe, and
share, and a five star review on iTunes would be Be glad chefs
kiss. Thank you so much.
See you next time.