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Hello, beautiful humans and 
welcome to the mental Wellness. 

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Wake up, show a weekly podcast 
where growth minded creative 

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people, come to learn, best 
practices from both spirituality

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and psychology that create 
lasting well-being. 

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I am your host mental Wellness, 
expert improvised acting teacher

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therapist and Coach, Don 
McMillan. 

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Let's get to it. 
It. 

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So what I want to talk about 
today are two magic words that 

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will change your life. 
So many of us are beset with all

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kinds of little inconveniences, 
the slings and arrows of 

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Outrageous, Fortune and I have a
recipe for how to make it 

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better. 
But before we get into that, I 

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just want to say thank you so 
much for being here. 

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Thank you for spending time on 
the podcast. 

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Thank you for reaching out to 
me. 

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Thank you for sharing the 
podcast with other people. 

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Thank you for even listening to 
the podcast with other people 

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and then talking about it. 
How amazing is that? 

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So, thank you very, very, very, 
very much. 

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I'm so delighted that you're 
here. 

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I love this weekly conversation 
that we are having and I am 

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honored that you choose to 
participate. 

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Okay? 
So magic words to change your 

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life. 
Well, in what? 

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Guard what I'm talking about is 
all of those little things that 

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just get on our nerves. 
I was in a my bathroom the other

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day and it was cold, it was 
super cold and it was annoying. 

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Had been cold for a lot and I 
would like to clarify that it's 

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definitely not the kind of cold 
that other people are suffering 

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from really just enough to make 
me uncomfortable and get tired 

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of wearing fuzzy socks and a 
hoodie. 

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While I'm inside. 
So that's what we're talking 

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about. 
I was cold my college, but 

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bathroom, it's called the water 
coming out of the tap is cold 

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and I start this litany in my 
brain of Oz. 

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Terrible. 
Hate this, why do I have to put 

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up with this? 
And, or is it so cold? 

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Never have experienced about 
that, or like that? 

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What about sitting in traffic? 
Oh my God, I can't believe 

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people drive like this. 
What is wrong with them? 

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Use your turn signal, or Step on
the one on the right people? 

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We got to keep it moving or oh 
my God. 

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That guy drives like a crazy 
person. 

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What is wrong with people? 
Or that one world leader, really

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like, oh my God, that man is a 
complete psychopath. 

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Anyone, who would support that 
person is obviously also a 

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psychopath, who would do that or
you read the comments on the 

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internet. 
Ever read the comments, it'll 

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fry your brain. 
So one of the reasons I think we

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have an uptick in mental health 
disorders it's because we've 

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lost her ability to tolerate 
discomfort. 

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What do I mean by that? 
Well we're very used to instant 

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gratification we go to load and 
app and it takes one point two 

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seconds instead of the normal 
half a second and we get 

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frustrated, we have some sort of
Hungary. 

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Press a button and 20 minutes 
later. 

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It's delivered to our doors. 
We are not used to being 

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uncomfortable and we've been 
programmed to think that we 

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should be happy all of the time.
And for a lot of us, happy Means

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comfortable. 
Nothing on my body is 

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inconvenienced in any way. 
I'm going to perfect, right? 

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Temperature. 
My stomach is a perfect, right? 

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Amount of fullness, my bank 
account has the perfect right 

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amount of numbers in it. 
We're really Ali quite attached 

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and addicted to our Creature 
Comforts. 

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And so when we encounter a 
situation that might trigger 

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some kind of discomfort, we 
avoid it, we medicate it, we run

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screaming in the other direction
on war, We complain loudly, 

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whether it's loudly within our 
own heads or loudly to other 

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people. 
This should be to my preferences

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that shouldn't be the way that 
it is. 

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This is wrong. 
I don't like this, I'm 

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uncomfortable, I was doing a 
process with a client recently 

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and sometimes it's helpful to do
the worst case scenario so I 

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started working her through it. 
Okay. 

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If this happens. 
Well what's the worst that can 

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happen? 
Well, then this would happen. 

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And finally we got to the bottom
of her chain and her response 

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was well then I would feel bad. 
Uh-huh. 

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And what's bad about that? 
Well, I would feel bad. 

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Okay, You would feel bad. 
That's not fatal, that's 

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unpleasant, but it's something 
that you can live with. 

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If you're willing to, in order 
to get all of the games that you

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think that you would get for 
making that decision. 

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So that just really pointed out 
for me that because we think 

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that, if we're not feeling great
all the time, we're doing 

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something wrong, or if the 
temperature or the fabric, or 

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the traffic or The weather isn't
exactly to our liking. 

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It's terrible and I can't stand 
it. 

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Some of the cognitive errors 
that are uncovered, in cognitive

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behavioral therapy, rational 
emotive, behavioral therapy, 

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these cognitive distortions, 
cognitive errors, stinkin 

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Thinkin, whatever you want to 
call it really relate to black 

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and white thinking, it's either 
really good or it's bad 

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catastrophizing. 
I stubbed my toe and that's 

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horrible and awful and I can't 
stand it. 

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And now my whole day is ruined, 
or Full lising as another way 

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that we talk about it or the 
just World fantasy or the just 

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World fallacy, rather. 
I did the right thing. 

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There for everything should be 
working out for me. 

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We've lost our ability to 
tolerate distress with some 

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personality disorders. 
That's a big chunk of the work, 

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learn to be dysregulated, learn 
to accept that. 

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Sometimes your emotions are a 
little all over the place and 

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you don't have to do anything 
about them. 

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If you're starting to feel a 
little anxious, you don't 

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necessarily have to do anything 
about it. 

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You don't have to stop what 
you're doing. 

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You don't have to take a pill. 
You don't have to do anything, 

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except notice and accept, and 
acknowledge that you are a 

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little distressed. 
Same thing with depression or 

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other uncomfortable physical or 
emotional Sensations. 

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Sometimes the answer is to 
accept them. 

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Notice that there are present 
and accept them and then 

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continue to choose what it is. 
That is worth choosing. 

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So what are the two magic words 
that I want to share with you? 

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Okay little fine. 
Print do not weaponize this 

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against other people. 
A grade so, the two magic words 

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are So, what? 
yeah, so what Went into the 

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bathroom like, oh my God, it's 
cold. 

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So what I don't like it so what 
be cold, right? 

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It's 5 minutes. 5 minutes don't 
you know, wash my hands and face

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and move on five minutes and 
being moderately cold. 

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So what there's a lot of traffic
right now. 

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So what all my traffic it makes 
me stressed out. 

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So what so what sometimes you're
uncomfortable. 

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So what? 
I remember listening to a Tim 

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Ferriss podcast a gazillion 
years ago, and the guy was a 

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chess champion or a NATO, NATO 
seal, Navy SEAL, or some such. 

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And he said that one of the ways
that his people learn to 

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overcome Difficult circumstances
is by saying and that's how I 

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like it. 
Wow, this water is really cold 

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and that's how I like it. 
That's the brain hack, right? 

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Instead of all, this water is 
really cold and I can't stand it

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and it's awful and I shouldn't 
have to put up with this. 

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And oh, what was me? 
And I now, let me just like, run

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around and boil water and do 
something to fix it. 

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I completed my tasks much more 
simply and easily and quickly by

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just going. 
So at it's a little 

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uncomfortable. 
So what? 

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It's raining and you might get 
mud on your shoes. 

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So what? 
So what now, the reason I said 

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don't weaponize, this is because
you can easily get become 

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callous towards yourself or 
others. 

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Yeah. 
My significant other beats me 

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every time I come in the house. 
So what? 

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No, no, no, no. 
That's not what it's used for. 

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But it's used for is to stop 
yourself from complaining about 

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things that are not important or
a really not that bad. 

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There are things that are 
actually terrible. 

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Most of the things in our lives 
that we react and resist and 

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complain about are not. 
They are not the rice at the 

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restaurant is a little crunchy 
and you prefer moist and sticky.

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So what, so what eat it or send 
it back, there's no reason to 

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lose your your Equanimity over 
at, there's no reason to be 

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upset and cry and complain and 
all my whole night is run 

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because the rice wasn't cooked. 
And how about some, what? 

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The rice wasn't good. 
So what I ate it is fine. 

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I sent it back. 
That's fine. 

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I enjoyed everything else on my 
plate. 

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That's fine. 
So those are my two magic words 

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for you. 
So what if the? 

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So what is, well, this isn't a 
violation of my human rights. 

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Then do something about it. 
If the, so what is this is a 

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contradiction to my values. 
Then do something about it but 

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if the so what is I'm 
uncomfortable, Well, you could 

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do something about it or you can
just accept that. 

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Sometimes people are 
uncomfortable, the world does 

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not always cater to your comfort
and there are things that are 

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more important than Comfort. 
If you think about the devotion 

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of parents to a newborn child, 
they are not comfortable, but 

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they decide that nurturing this 
new life is more important than 

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their comfort. 
We can do that, and then we're 

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regular basis. 
Temperature in your cup. 

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Isn't the of your cup isn't the 
way you like it. 

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So what it really Harkens back 
to the Serenity Prayer, accept 

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it, or change it and if you 
don't choose to accept something

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or change it, You suffer. 
That's really are the only three

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choices except it, change it or 
suffer and whenever you're 

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complaining you are suffering 
and you are maybe bonding with 

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someone else who's listening to 
you. 

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Like it's bringing you closer as
you guys complain together, but 

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you're bonding over suffering. 
Wondering if we can make a 

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different choice. 
So what maybe lean into 

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accepting things? 
Maybe lean into. 

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I can be a little uncomfortable 
and still accomplish the tasks 

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that are important to me. 
I don't have to reaction early, 

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avoid anything. 
I don't have to reaction airily 

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seek to change something. 
The moment, it doesn't go 

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exactly the way I want it to. 
So that's it two magic words. 

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This change your life, use it. 
Kindly So what, so what, so what

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the latest Marvel movie isn't to
your liking, so what? 

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So what and with that, thank you
for being here. 

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I'm very curious to see what you
think about this episode. 

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Yeah. 
And you don't want to know 

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something else though that I 
think is important to remember 

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truly. 
Is that you are whole perfect 

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and complete just as you are. 
So if life delivers you a little

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discomfort that doesn't change, 
that doesn't make you any less 

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whole doesn't make you any. 
Less perfect doesn't make you 

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any less complete. 
It doesn't make the moment. 

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Any less worth being fully 
present too. 

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Just means you're a little 
uncomfortable, it's temporary 

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and do you can handle it. 
You absolutely can. 

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And while you're out there 
handling your business. 

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You are creating a life that 
feels worth living. 

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And you deserve a life. 
That is so beautiful and 

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amazing. 
You do you really really do, all

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right, keep being fabulous, and 
I will see you next time.