1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:09,200 Hello, beautiful humans and welcome to the mental Wellness. 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:13,400 Wake up, show a weekly podcast where growth minded creative 3 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:17,700 people, come to learn, best practices from both spirituality 4 00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:21,500 and psychology that create lasting well-being. 5 00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:26,500 I am your host mental Wellness, expert improvised acting teacher 6 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,000 therapist and Coach, Don McMillan. 7 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,600 Let's get to it. It. 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:35,700 All right friends we are going to talk about anxiety today. 9 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:41,600 So if you are alive and you read you will notice that there's 10 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,700 been an uptick and people being diagnosed with anxiety 11 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,500 disorders. I'd really like to address this 12 00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:51,200 because I think we're making some huge mistakes and regards 13 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,800 to anxiety and its place in our culture. 14 00:00:55,400 --> 00:01:00,200 The first thing I want to remind us all, is that anxiety? 15 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:07,800 It e is 1. 1 type of experience in the fear Spectrum. 16 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:14,500 It is not the only experience in the fear spectrum and anxiety is 17 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:18,500 not in the anger Spectrum. Why am I saying this? 18 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,000 I am saying this because when I talk to people both in my 19 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,400 personal and professional lives, they will ascribe all unpleasant 20 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,800 feelings as anxiety. Oh, my anxiety is through the 21 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,300 roof. Oh my, this guy cut me off in 22 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,500 traffic and my anxiety was through the roof. 23 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:41,900 I want to be like nasus that's anger, or will have any sort of 24 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,200 experience that we dislike any sort of internal experience that 25 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:50,600 we dislike and we'll label it as anxiety and we will decide that 26 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:56,900 it is a problem. So one we are over focused on 27 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:03,500 anxiety and to We Are Labeling it as a problem. 28 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,700 So I'm leaning a little bit on the work of them. 29 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:12,100 Bessel Van, Der kolk here, dr. Stephen porges, Peter Levine and 30 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,800 Britt Frank who has a really great book out called the 31 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,800 science of stuck. So, let's talk about what 32 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,100 anxiety actually means. And I love the way Britt Frank 33 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:29,900 phrase, is it anxiety is one of the physical cues that allows us 34 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:36,500 to You know, when we are out of alignment with external safety 35 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:43,100 and or internal truth, one more time anxiety is one of the 36 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:48,000 physical cues that allow us to know when we are out of 37 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:53,800 alignment with external safety and or internal truth. 38 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,200 So if you've been around here for a minute, you know, that I 39 00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:02,000 actually coined a term, genuine acity to talk about being 40 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:07,200 impeccably and Alignment. It's keeping all of The Four 41 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:11,700 Agreements and being rigorous and telling the truth to 42 00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:18,100 ourselves when we are out of alignment with external safety 43 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:24,300 and or internal truth, our body gives us anxiety. 44 00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:30,700 Anxiety is a signal. It is not a problem. 45 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:34,500 Anxiety is like the check engine light in your car. 46 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,500 It doesn't tell you what's wrong. 47 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:41,900 It asks you to investigate what might be going on. 48 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:49,200 That requires your attention. So what about anxiety as a 49 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,700 friend? What if anxiety is giving you a 50 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:59,500 signal anxiety? Can be an ally now, most people 51 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:05,400 hate their anxiety. They will do anything to avoid 52 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:10,700 the experience of anxiety. Some people hate their anxiety. 53 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:14,100 So much that they begin to shrink their lives to the degree 54 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,500 of that. Where they can't even leave 55 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,700 their own homes. That's a agoraphobia. 56 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,300 Agoraphobia is afraid of being outside, which is what people 57 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:26,500 think it is. Agoraphobia, is the fear of 58 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:31,900 having a panic attack or an anxiety attack when you are out 59 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:35,900 in public or out of a situation that you can control. 60 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,600 So you only limit your life to things that you can control. 61 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:44,500 The first of all, let's let's tell the truth about what 62 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:51,800 anxiety is. First of all, anxiety is not an 63 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,300 emotion. What? 64 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,100 Yeah, no anxiety is not an emotion. 65 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,600 It is a series, it's just collection of bodily. 66 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,100 Sensations, anxiety is not an emotion. 67 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:08,400 It's a series of bodily Sensations that, then you 68 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:13,600 interpret to be awful. Horrible terrible, and 69 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:18,700 intolerable anxiety, doesn't attack you. 70 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,800 There's no such thing as an anxiety attack. 71 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,300 We need to stop talking about panic attacks and anxiety 72 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:29,200 attacks. These are just episodes of a 73 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:34,500 situation that involves a signal that you are out of alignment 74 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,900 with external safety or internal truth. 75 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:42,700 And the problem is that we keep labeling anxiety as a problem 76 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,600 and we begin to do all of these actions in order to avoid that 77 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:52,500 feeling we numb out. We get busy, we reach for some 78 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,100 sort of substance or another person. 79 00:05:55,600 --> 00:06:01,500 We change our lives to avoid to avoid the feeling without 80 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:08,300 understanding that the feeling is here, to help us. 81 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:14,500 So let's talk about what anxiety can do for you. 82 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:20,600 First of all, let's except for now, That anxiety is not a 83 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,700 problem. The problem is you hate your 84 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,400 anxiety and your trying to avoid it. 85 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:28,700 Hear that anxiety is not a problem. 86 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,700 The problem is you hate your anxiety and your trying to avoid 87 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:36,300 it. Anxiety, doesn't attack you. 88 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:41,500 So sometimes it feels like an attack because it seems to come 89 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:46,500 out of nowhere. And so if you think that anxiety 90 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:50,400 is just this thing that happens to you for absolutely no reason. 91 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:55,000 Then of course you're going to be afraid of it but anxiety is 92 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,200 caused this. The truth is that all of the 93 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:04,400 avoidance and misconceptions about anxiety are wreaking 94 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,600 emotional havoc on all of us and causing a profound. 95 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:13,100 Shall we? All right? 96 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,800 So let's talk about the myths about anxiety. 97 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,800 And right here, I'm looking at Britt Frank, she she breaks this 98 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,000 down in a really, really lovely way. 99 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,200 Miss mistake myth. Number one anxiety is a disease. 100 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,200 Okay. So why is that a problem? 101 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:34,700 Because if you believe anxiety is a disease, then you feel like 102 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:36,300 it's just something you have to live with. 103 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,000 It also makes you start to feel kind of helpless and 104 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,200 overwhelmed. I have this anxiety. 105 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,100 It's just going to jump up and attack me anytime I'm helpless 106 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:52,500 against it and all I can do is completely interrupt my life and 107 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:56,100 my well-being and my happiness to try to limit the amount of 108 00:07:56,100 --> 00:08:00,800 opportunities. It has to come get me. anxiety 109 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:06,600 is not intended to hurt you, but to help you, if you are unsafe 110 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:11,200 or veering away from authenticity, I really want to 111 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:16,600 underline that One of anxiety signals is that you are being 112 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,600 untruthful with yourself, you are not being authentic. 113 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:24,800 You are not being true to you. It's kind of like limping after 114 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,000 you twist your ankle. This is the analogy that Britt 115 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,500 Frank uses in her book is limping. 116 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,200 After you twist your ankle a disease. 117 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,700 No, it's a signal that an injury needs attention. 118 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:41,799 It's the same thing with anxiety, okay, myth number two, 119 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,000 anxiety, is Is a chemical imbalance. 120 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:51,700 I make myself so unpopular when I tell people that anxiety and 121 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:57,300 depression, Are not necessarily chemical imbalances. 122 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:01,000 The reason why we think they're chemical imbalances is because 123 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:05,000 taking medication that addresses neurotransmitters can help 124 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:10,300 alleviate the symptoms. So part of the problem with 125 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:15,300 anxiety in specific is that a lot of anxiety medications are 126 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:19,800 highly addictive. Both chemically and emotionally. 127 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,500 So you have an anxiety episode you reach for a pill. 128 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:30,900 It calms, your nervous system down and of Wallah problem, 129 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:34,100 solved, or so, you think. But what you now have is a 130 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:37,400 dependency on the substance, outside, of yourself to 131 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,100 eliminate the feelings that you don't like. 132 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,800 And you never actually address the signal that the anxiety was 133 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:50,700 giving you in the first place. Let's remember what medications 134 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,900 for anxiety, and/or depression but today, we're talking about 135 00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:58,200 anxiety are supposed to do. The reason why that's a problem 136 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,200 is, if you think it's your jeans and you think there's nothing 137 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,300 you can do about it. Are you noticing the theme? 138 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,900 These myths about anxiety are telling us that it's this thing 139 00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:08,600 that attacks us and we are helpless against it might as 140 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:13,800 well get a benzo. Yes, some people have a greater 141 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,000 vulnerability to various mental disorders. 142 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,900 Including anxiety. Yes, it's important to note that 143 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:25,400 you might be one of them. Does that mean that you cannot 144 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:30,500 do anything about your anxiety? Absolutely not. 145 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,100 The truth is the more we resist, right? 146 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,700 You say, oh anxieties just this horrible thing, that happens to 147 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:42,800 me and then I hate it and I resisted what we resist persists 148 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,400 Every time you allow your anxiety to control your 149 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,400 behavior, you strengthen the anxiety. 150 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,000 Every time you allow your social anxiety to prevent you from 151 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,100 going to a party, you increase your anxiety, every time you 152 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,000 have your anxiety about Crossing Bridges. 153 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,100 Stop you from crossing a bridge. You increase the strength of 154 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:05,800 your own anxiety. If you have a genetic 155 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:11,200 predisposition acknowledge that. Aunt also acknowledged that that 156 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,100 doesn't change the fact that your anxiety is a signal that is 157 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,500 meant to help you and you can take action. 158 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,300 Okay. Myth anxiety is a mental 159 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:25,000 disorder. Well, now, if it were a mental 160 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,500 disorder, then that means there's something wrong with you 161 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,600 and we're currently addicted to thinking there's something wrong 162 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,900 with us. We love our diagnosis and I 163 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,700 really just want, this is not the time or place for it, but 164 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,200 one of these days, we need to have a conversation about that. 165 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:41,100 What is the value and deciding? There's something wrong with 166 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,800 you. Your anxiety. 167 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,300 Doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. 168 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,000 Your anxiety. Doesn't mean there's something 169 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,100 wrong with you. Hearing Society is a signal that 170 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,700 you are out of alignment with external safety or internal 171 00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:59,400 authenticity, or Genuine City. Anxiety is a sign of mental 172 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,700 weakness. Heck, nah, anxiety is a sign of 173 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:07,600 mental aliveness. If you were alive, you will get 174 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:13,400 anxiety, symptoms.. It's just part of the experience 175 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,000 of being a human on the planet. You are not broken. 176 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:22,500 There is nothing wrong with you hear me now. 177 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:27,800 Believe me later. You are not broken. 178 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,500 All right, so let's break it down. 179 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,100 What is the point of going through this? 180 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:38,800 Okay, the more you hate your anxiety and try to suppress it 181 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,600 or avoid it the more suffering you create for yourself. 182 00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:45,600 We've talked about this before, the less you're willing to fill 183 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:51,100 feel the less you're willing to feel your feelings, the more you 184 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:55,200 will have them. Unless you're willing to explore 185 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,900 your anxiety, the more anxiety, you will have. 186 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,400 The less you're willing to feel your anxiety. 187 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,900 The more likely you are to reach for a substance or an activity 188 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:10,100 that numbs you out. And you are not solving. 189 00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:16,400 The problem anxiety is a signal. That you need to check in with 190 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:21,200 what's going on. Are you confronting and 191 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:26,600 unresolved trauma? At a client who's afraid to walk 192 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,600 over Bridges? She was assaulted on a bridge 193 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,700 and where they want occasion and so her brain wired that as 194 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:38,100 bridges are unsafe. So every time she would go over 195 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,700 a bridge. I mean I'm walking bridge. 196 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:43,300 I'm not talking about a driving bridge and a walking bridge over 197 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:48,200 like a overpass or something. She would have an extreme 198 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,600 anxiety episode. So she stopped going over walk 199 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,700 Bridges. Doesn't solve the problem. 200 00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:59,200 The anxiety was a check engine light that this trauma, that had 201 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,700 occurred to her was unresolved in still controlling her. 202 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,000 Not going over the bridges. Didn't fix that. 203 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:08,100 It's not going over. The bridges, did not fix that 204 00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:11,700 for her. So, your anxiety is telling you 205 00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:15,300 to check in, are you physically safe? 206 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,400 And if you are, what in your history is leading, you to 207 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,600 believe that you are not anxiety. 208 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:30,800 Is a fear family member, Or how are you out of Integrity, with 209 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,900 yourself? If you have an anxiety episode 210 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:38,100 every time you think about going to your birth father's house, 211 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:42,000 what is that telling you? Are you an integrity and 212 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,900 authenticity and genuine Wasa tea, and your relationship with 213 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:50,300 that person? So anxiety is not to be feared. 214 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,000 It's certainly not to be avoided. 215 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:57,400 It is to be listened to, oh, my heart is racing. 216 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:00,900 My Palms are sweating. I feel like running away. 217 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,400 Am I physically safe in this moment? 218 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,200 No. Okay. 219 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:08,700 Do something about it. Am I feeling physically safe in 220 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,600 this moment? Yes. 221 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,700 Then what is the message of this anxiety. 222 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:18,600 Something in this situation? Is telling me I am out of 223 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,700 authenticity and generosity. Or I'm being reminded of a 224 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,500 trauma that is presenting itself for resolution. 225 00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:34,600 Anxiety is a gift. Anxiety is a gift. 226 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:41,200 So, let's go to Britt Frank, do's and don'ts for anxiety. 227 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:48,400 Do tell yourself just because I don't know why I'm feeling like 228 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,300 this doesn't mean there's not a really good reason for these 229 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:56,000 feelings to be here. Do you catch that? 230 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,700 Anxiety doesn't come out of nowhere? 231 00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:02,100 It comes from somewhere. You may not be able to identify 232 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:06,900 it. I had a client that was having 233 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:13,300 random panic attacks turned out that there was another client 234 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:17,400 who had an appointment at the same time as her, who were a 235 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:21,000 cologne, that one of her perpetrators had worn, and she 236 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,100 didn't smell it consciously. But every time she would smell 237 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:28,300 that smell It would trigger her anxiety episode because the 238 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,800 trauma around that smell had not yet been resolved. 239 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,200 Okay? Just because, I don't know why 240 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,900 I'm feeling like this doesn't mean there's not a really good 241 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,700 reason for these feelings to be here. 242 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,200 What you must not do is shame Yourself by saying, what's wrong 243 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,100 with me? Do remind yourself that your 244 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:49,000 body is not attacking you. It is trying to help you. 245 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,400 Your body loves you. If your body didn't love you, it 246 00:16:54,408 --> 00:16:55,700 would have kicked you out by now. 247 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:02,700 Anxiety is not your body trying to hurt you or attack. 248 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,599 You is trying to help you. It's the check engine light. 249 00:17:05,599 --> 00:17:08,300 Ding, ding, ding. Something's going on here. 250 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:12,400 Look into it. Don't minimize how badly you 251 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,400 feel. Even though anxiety is a helpful 252 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,700 mechanism, it's still awful in terrifying. 253 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,099 Yeah, it does not feel good. Let's just acknowledge that and 254 00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:25,099 anxiety episode does not feel good. 255 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:29,900 That doesn't mean it's hurting you so don't minimize it but 256 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:34,200 also don't chastise yourself for having it. 257 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:41,900 Do is ask yourself are there areas of your life? 258 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:51,700 You hesitate to address because you fear the outcome, Can you a 259 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:54,800 city? Where are you out of Integrity? 260 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,200 Where are you out of authenticity? 261 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:02,100 Are there areas of your life? You hesitate to address because 262 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:06,400 you fear the outcome, Sir conversation that you need to 263 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,700 have. Is there a trauma? 264 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:14,200 You need to resolve serve boundary, you need to set, these 265 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,100 are substances. You need to give up. 266 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,900 What you don't need to do is feel like you have to deal with 267 00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:24,500 everything at once. If numbing out safely, helps you 268 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:27,400 make it through the day and abling to take care of your 269 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,900 responsibilities. You're allowed to numb, we all 270 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:34,900 need to numb out periodically So you don't have to deal with 271 00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,100 everything all at once. You can take those little baby 272 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:41,800 steps and Are there areas of your life? 273 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:46,600 You hesitate to address because you fear the outcome, And do 274 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,100 talk to your doctor about medications and make sure you 275 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:53,200 understand the full range of possible side effects, including 276 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:58,200 the potential for dependency. Don't decide to stop medication 277 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,600 without talking to your doctor. All right, we all have different 278 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:08,200 tolerances for different medications. 279 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,200 Is a very long pause for a very easy to find word. 280 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:17,900 Alright, so our friend, Brett Frank has a couple of exercises 281 00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:20,000 that we can do. Thank you, Brit Frank go buy her 282 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,800 book. List all the stressful people in 283 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,900 your life and don't worry about hurting their feelings, you're 284 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:30,700 not going to show them. So, for each person listed, 285 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:35,500 right? My real feelings about him, her 286 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:43,500 them are, right? So you might list Joanne Marino. 287 00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:50,700 Stresses you out here like my real feelings are that I am 288 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,800 afraid of her because she's mean, to me. 289 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:59,500 She says terrible things that hurt my feelings and I really 290 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,900 sometimes have fantasies about running her over with my car. 291 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:07,700 Like, just have those acknowledge those feelings and 292 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:11,500 then, remind yourself. I have a right to my feelings. 293 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000 Make a list of all the stressful tasks. 294 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:21,500 On your plate and then say, it makes sense that I'm feeling 295 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:26,400 overwhelmed. Validate that first of all, when 296 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,000 you list all the things that are on your on your task list, it's 297 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,900 going to be shorter than you think we've done this in a past 298 00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:36,200 episode where we talked about how to get over overwhelm, you 299 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,500 feel more overwhelmed when you carry a list around in your 300 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,900 head, then when you write it down, you don't have a million 301 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,700 things to do. You probably have less than 100, 302 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:48,800 so, write them down, but then validate, it makes sense that 303 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,500 I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'll feel much better when I do 304 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,900 feel. In the blank first. 305 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:58,300 And then make a list of everything else. 306 00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,400 That's stressing you out. And then at the bottom of this 307 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,500 list, right? Five things you can do in the 308 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:07,800 next five minutes to feel five percent less stressed. 309 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,400 I love this. And I think this is an invention 310 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:15,400 from Britt Frank herself. Five things you can do in the 311 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,000 next five minutes to make you feel 5% less stressed. 312 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:25,000 That's what we mean by baby steps and then finally, Write a 313 00:21:25,008 --> 00:21:28,800 note to yourself. My anxiety makes sense. 314 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:34,400 Anyone in this situation would feel anxious, I may not be able 315 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,900 to understand it all or change at all right now, but I know 316 00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:39,600 without a doubt that I am not crazy. 317 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:44,100 We're lazy. Your anxiety makes sense. 318 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,600 Anyone who's been through what you've been through. 319 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,800 But feel anxious at the times that you feel anxious, you're 320 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,700 not crazy. There's nothing wrong with you. 321 00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:58,100 You're not broken. You don't need drugs to fix you, 322 00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:00,800 you may need medication to support you. 323 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,500 Anxiety is your friend. It is the big flashing light 324 00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,900 that says, are you out of integrity? 325 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,400 Are you safe? Are you safe right now? 326 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,500 Are you out of integrity? And beloved friends, beautiful 327 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:27,400 humans get thee to a therapist. No matter how functional you 328 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,800 are, there is always a greater level of thriving available to 329 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,200 you. Go to therapy. 330 00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:38,300 Get yourself a good therapist, get yourself a good coach, and I 331 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:41,700 know mental health care in the United States of America, at 332 00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:46,000 least, and maybe where you live too, can be difficult to assess. 333 00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:49,200 I myself have opened up a few more appointments to try to be 334 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,100 more helpful, listen to this podcast. 335 00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:53,900 Download all of the episodes and bench. 336 00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:55,300 Listen to them. If you can't get into a 337 00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:57,900 therapist right now, do what it takes. 338 00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:01,000 But remember, there's nothing wrong with you. 339 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,500 You are not broken You know what you are. 340 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:08,400 If you are whole, you are perfect and you are complete 341 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:13,800 just as you are. And your anxiety is your kind 342 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,700 and loving body. Giving you the heads-up. 343 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:20,200 That's something requires your attention. 344 00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:27,200 You beloved gorgeous, human being are worthy and deserving 345 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:32,900 of healing of being whole and well and happy and of 346 00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:38,200 experiencing Life. So Glorious, it transcends, even 347 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:43,200 your own imagination. Thank you for giving me your 348 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,300 time. Thank you for sharing the 349 00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:49,200 podcast. Thank you for subscribing. 350 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:53,100 I almost said prescribing, you can prescribe the podcast like 351 00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:58,000 here, take a to vitamin Ds and listen to the mental Wellness, 352 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:03,200 wake up, show, ya. Prescribed the podcast and I 353 00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:07,400 look forward to seeing you, I always say seeing you, I don't 354 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,200 actually see you. I kind of feel like I do. 355 00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,600 I'm gonna feel like we're hanging out. 356 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:14,500 Being with you next week until then. 357 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,900 I am so honored that you share time with me. 358 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,700 If you've listened this far, then something here was a value 359 00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:24,200 to you. Would you please be a friend of 360 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,100 the podcast and share it with at least one other person? 361 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,500 The podcast is available on most platforms including YouTube and 362 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,200 I need your help to get the word out. 363 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,100 So please like, subscribe, and share, and a five star review on 364 00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:41,500 iTunes, would be glad chefs kiss. 365 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,300 Thank you so much. See you next time.