Hello beautiful humans, and welcome to the Mental Wellness
Wake Up Show, a weekly podcast where growthminded, creative
people come to learn best practices from both spirituality
and psychology that create lasting wellbeing.
I am your host, mental Wellness expert, improvised acting
teacher, therapist, and coach Dawn McMillan.
Let's get to it. All right, You Beautiful beings.
Thank you for being here. If you are here for the first
time. Ville cumin.
Bienvenu bienvenidos liosum. Chanyavu.
Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome.
However you got to be here, I am grateful that you are here.
And to my returning listeners, what?
I'm giving you a big giant hug. Thank you for hanging with me.
Thank you for coming back. It's an honor and a privilege to
spend time with you. So thank you.
So if you're just catching up, we are diving into the eniagram.
The eniagram is a nine pointed wisdom system often used and
understood as a personality typing.
And my belief is that human beings are way too complex to
fit into just one anything. Whether it's a personality type
or astrological sign or anything else, we are complex, beautiful
beings, and we contain all of everything within us, just to
differing degrees. And so we can always learn from
each of the individual anyogram types, both where our tendencies
lie and how we can use each of the types to guide us toward.
Greater integration, greater peace, greater love, greater
joy, greater power, greater all the good things.
So let's continue. So traditionally we start with
Enneagram 8 because the 8-9 and one which are at the top of the
circle of the Enneagram are our gut center or instinct center
are body centered people. And as a reminder of the centers
are just a little bit where you lead from, some people lead from
the heart, some people lead from the head and some people lead
from the body. So we're moving on to our
aniagram nines. And aniagram nines are some of
my favorite people and I bet they are some of your favorite
people too, because the aniagram nines are known as the
peacemaker. So any gram nines are
characterized by being so very easy to get along with.
They're easygoing, self effacing, receptive, reassuring,
agreeable, sometimes complacent. One of the challenges that any
gram nines have is this tension of wanting to always maintain
inner comfort and outer comfort. So the basic fear of the any of
gram. Is of loss, separation or
annihilation. Loss, separation or annihilation
and the basic desire of the Inneagram 9 our Peacemakers is
to maintain inner stability and Peace of Mind.
So there's a part of them that believes you are good or okay as
long as those around you are good or okay.
So any of Graham Nines don't like to upset anyone else, so
they don't like to be upset so they can be super easy to get
along with. So here's a quote from an
niagram 9 that our Niagram 9 friends might recognize.
I am aware of focusing on other people wondering what they're
like, how and where they live, etcetera.
In a relationship with others. I often give up my own agenda in
favor of other persons. I have to be on guard about
giving in to the others demands and discounting my own
legitimate needs. So in the Reso Hudson system,
they call the Enniogram nines the crown of the enniogram
because they're on the top of the circle, but also because
they can appear like many of the other Enniogram types, they
sometimes have the strength of the eights.
The sense of fun of the sevens, the dutifulness of the sixes,
the intellectualism of the fives, the creativity of fours,
the attractiveness of threes, the generosity of twos, and the
idealism of ones. But what they often are missing
is a sense of inhabiting themselves.
So this idea of merging is really common with nines.
The other thing that's really common with nines is a great
love of their creature comforts. Nines, they like to be
comfortable, they like to be comfortable and they like to
make other people comfortable. So as we said before, we're not
necessarily going to focus so much on how or why people become
that way. The answer really is unknown and
because. It is a nature.
It is a nature of and nurture situation, your tendencies and
other people's tendencies. So what's great about being a
nine? Nines are really easy to get
along with, right? Nines are very like people and
are liked by people. It's like one of their
superpowers is that they really genuinely.
Like most of the people that they meet, and unsurprisingly,
most of the people like them. The downside of that for nines
is that sometimes that liking and being liked can prevent them
from standing up for themselves. So looking at.
We're in the Reso Hudson system and I may go back into the
eights in the Reso Hudson system.
Forgive me eights, don't come looking for me with it with a
knife. I don't want to get in a knife
fight with you. But we may go back to the eights
in the Reso Hudson system because I think it might be a it
just might be an interesting interrogation.
But what I would love to do, and the reason why I switched over
to the Reso Hudson system is they have this levels of
development of the Type 9 and so if you recognize yourself as a
nine. Nines are stubborn.
Remember that the body group 8 nines and ones have a unique
relationship to anger. 8 nines and ones are characterized by
how they are managing their relationship to anger.
So a nine can be shockingly stubborn, right?
They're the go along to get along types almost always, but
when a nine reaches a breaking point you will see.
A person that you did not know was in there, right?
That super stubborn, angry person, when they finally come
out, can be really shocking and surprising to the people around
them because we're all used to like, Oh yeah, they're fine.
They're fine with whatever. They're the ones who are like,
hey, where do you want to go to dinner?
And they're like, I'm fine with whatever and they will make it
fine. They will be fine with whatever.
So in the Reso Hudson system, they give.
Levels of of development. So I'm going to take a look at
these so that our nines can check in for their opportunities
for growth. And for the rest of us, we also
can check in and say, oh, I kind of noticed that tendency in
myself. How can I encourage myself to go
one more level up, one more expansive level?
Are you tracking with me? Okay, so.
When a nine is at their most unhealthy, a level 9A level 99,
they can be characterized as being self abandoning,
disappearing. Very unhealthy nines feel unable
to face reality at all. They withdraw into themselves
and become completely unresponsive.
They may attempt to eliminate their awareness to save their
illusions of peace. Through fragmenting themselves
into sub personalities are you hearing the the mental illness
and the addiction temptation there?
A totally self abandoning 9 May not be there at all.
They may have these sub personalities that emerge
instead. They may numb out so much that
they don't face reality. So the question then becomes to
what degrees are we are you and I?
Disappearing and self abandoning.
OK Level 8. Disassociating, disoriented.
Sometimes nines are so desperate to hold on to whatever shred of
inner peace they have that they fear acknowledging reality at
all so they can be kind of numb, helpless, or even have amnesia.
Now this is something I noticed a lot with people who have
trauma. They have this 9 characteristic,
this indiogram 9 characteristic of They checked out so much they
don't remember. Whenever someone says I don't
really remember my childhood, I'm like Oh yeah, you flocked
your childhood behind the tramadors.
Another level up. Level 7 repressed neglectful
nines fear that reality will force them to deal with their
problems and this may be true. They may react by defending the
illusion that everything is okay.
And stubbornly resisting all efforts to get to them, to
confront their problems. They're depressed, ineffectual
and listless. I will raise my hand.
I've been there. I've been there.
No, everything's fine. Everything's fine.
No, no, no, no, Everything's fine.
Yeah, totally listless. Like I I have no desire to do
anything. But everything's fine.
Yeah, Raise your hand. If you're guilty of that one,
don't raise your hand. I can't actually see you.
But yeah, definitely been there. Okay.
Moving up Level 6, resigned and appeasing nines are afraid that
others will demand responses from them that may arouse
anxiety and ruin their inner peace.
So they downplay the importance of problems and try to deflect
others. So this is where you're
resigned. Resigned.
You're like. Just going to keep on stoically
trudging through. I'm going to deny my feelings.
I'm going to deny other people's feelings.
I'm going to suppress my anger. I'm just going to suppress and
deny and act stoic and wish that things would get better.
Level 5 Disengaged, Complacent. Nine's worry that any
significant changes in their world or any strong feelings
will disrupt their fragile peace.
So they set up their lives in ways that will prevent things
from getting to them. They lose themselves in
comforting routines and habits, putter around and tune out
problems. So that's disengaged,
complacent. And that's an average average 9.
That's when. That's when.
That's when it's like everything's fine.
Because what's so important to Nine is maintaining inner peace
and outer peace. And so on average, average 9.
We'll may do that by just setting their lives up so
everything's kind of comfortable.
They've got their habits, they've got their routines, you
know, just trying to protect themselves from disturbance by
having routine level 4 self effacing, agreeable.
Nines begin to fear that conflicts in their lives will
ruin their Peace of Mind, so they begin to avoid potential
conflicts by going along with others they may consider matters
not worth arguing about, but we'll also begin to say yes to
things they really do not want to do.
So at this level 4 we're talking about the go along to get along,
don't want the conflict. Would rather just go along to
get along so they don't have to deal with conflict.
I really don't want to have conflict.
I really don't want to have my Peace of Mind disturbed.
So even if I really kind of don't want to deal with this
right now, I'll just go along to get along.
So those of you who already know a little bit about the Enneagram
may, may feel a little bit of that Enneagram 2 energy in here
and that's what Reso Hudson mean when they say that the Enneagram
9 has all these characteristics of these other parts.
When I first saw the anagram, and I hope by now you've googled
the image, I was like, why is the 9 at the top?
But if you begin to understand why the nine is last and why
it's on the top, it is because this type really does, depending
on their level of emotional health at the time, embody the
other parts in some really cool and interesting ways.
So as we move up to a healthier version of a nine.
We have unselfish and comforting nines reinforce their self-image
by creating and maintaining peace and harmony in their
world. They use their patient level
headed approach to mediate conflicts and soothe others.
They are often highly imaginative, inspiring others
with a healing, positive vision of life.
So this is that 9 embodying that four creativity that let that
Enneagram 2 understanding with their own special Enneagram 9
magic sprinkles on top of just being able to be a stand for
peace. Unselfish comforting.
I have a very specific Enneagram 9.
I'm thinking about who's often embodies this level.
They're just patient and levelheaded, help they get along
with others and they help others get along with them.
Moving up to an even more expansive, healthier, healthier
is sounds judgmental, so let's just use that term lightly.
We're just talking about ways of being that tend to produce more
peace, more joy, more light, more love, all the good things
then not. We're not being judgmental like
oh. You're a You're at a low level
and you're grand, man. We don't do that here.
We're just using these guidelines as ways of checking
in to see if we're embodying a more expansive version of
ourselves. So level 2 unselfconscious,
peaceful nines focus on the environment or on relationships
as a whole, desiring to maintain a harmonious stability within
them and in their environment. Self-image, steady, easygoing
and kind. So that Enneagram 9 that I was
thinking of often gives this vibe as well.
These are just like I said, if you have an Enneagram 9 in your
life, you're like, Oh my God, this person is so easy to be
around and you are grateful. Yeah, because that's why they're
steady and they steady others and it's beautiful.
And then a level one and this is where our Enneagram nines get to
have all of their superpowers. Without sacrificing themselves,
self possessed indomitable Nines let go of the belief that their
participation in the world is unimportant or unwanted.
Thus they can truly connect with themselves and with others.
They also paradoxically achieve their basic desire to have inner
stability and Peace of Mind. As a result of their self
actualization, they become self possessed.
Dynamic, serene and present. So invite us all to think.
What can we be, do, say, think and choose so that we are self
possessed, dynamic, serene and present.
How can we be harmonious in ourselves and the kind of person
who creates harmony around them? How can we use our imagination
to be inspiring to others with a healing positive vibe and vision
that is the gift of the aneogram 9 inner peace and outer peace?
Steadiness within creativity. Without sacrificing ourselves, I
believe we've become. We've come to a misunderstanding
of boundaries, where it's my inner peace at all costs.
Screw anyone who gets in my way. Boundaries are being healthy.
Boundaries are being this anyogram 9.
I'm not willing to throw myself in front of a bus for you, but
I'm going to do what I can to make the sure that no one's
getting thrown in front of buses.
Why are people running in front of buses?
Why are the buses speeding around?
Right. Self possessed?
Dynamic. Serene.
Present. Present.
Present, present. You thought I was done, didn't
you? So that's her Enneagram nines.
Specifically, four or any of Graham Nines.
You need to be careful against sloth and numbing out.
Yes, it's easier to sit on your couch and watch Netflix and eat
eat pizza. But when you sit on your couch
watching Netflix and eating pizza or fill in the blank
numbing out or smoking pot or drinking wine or whoever else
you're numbing out, you're depriving the world of your
superpower. Did you not hear how awesome you
are? Did you not hear how awesome you
are, bringing peace to yourself and others?
We need you. So guard against sloth and
checking out. So be on guard.
Not be on guard. But, you know, take care.
Take care. And for all of us, let's not
numb out, let's not numb out. Let's not sacrifice ourselves.
And also, let's let's not underestimate the power of being
peace and creating peace. So with that, this week's
invitation is to lean deeply into your inner Aneagram 9.
Find that ability to be self possessed, level headed, serene,
creative, imaginative. Because you can.
So we're channeling our our anneagram eights, our dynamic
stand up for what is right energy.
We're channeling our anneagram nines where we have that
serenity that we can bring to others.
And we are celebrating ourselves and each other because each and
every one of us is unique. And beautiful and glorious and
worthy and deserving of love, peace, joy, prosperity,
wholeness, health, wellbeing, freedom, autonomy, fun, safety,
connection. Keep adding stuff that you
desire for yourself. We are, each and every one of
us, absolutely deserving of that.
And I wish that for you, for every being on the planet, maybe
we all have peace. We meet.
All have joy. Maybe we all have all those
goodies. Because hear me now, Believe me
now and later, you are worth it. So thanks for being here.
See you next time. I am so honored that you share
time with me. If you've listened this far,
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See you next time.