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Hello beautiful humans, and 
welcome to the Mental Wellness 

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Wake Up Show, a weekly podcast 
where growthminded, creative 

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people come to learn best 
practices from both spirituality

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and psychology that create 
lasting wellbeing. 

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I am your host, mental Wellness 
expert, improvised acting 

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teacher, therapist, and coach 
Dawn McMillan. 

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Let's get to it. 
Hey, hey, hey. 

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Welcome to the podcast. 
If you are here for the first 

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time, thank you for coming. 
I want to let you know that we 

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are in the middle of a series. 
We're exploring the eniagram 

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ENNEAGR AM. 
It is a personality typing 

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program. 
It is a wisdom system. 

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It is marvelous. 
So please go back and listen to 

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the very first set of anagram 
episodes that we did so you can 

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just catch up and be right on on
task with the rest of us. 

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Okay. 
Awesome. 

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Yay. 
All right, so to review and 

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there are nine personality 
types. 

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We have group them in groups of 
three and currently we are in 

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the heart slash feelings zone 
with anyograms 2-3 and four. 

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So we are wrapping up today with
the Anyogram 4. 

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Now I have to do a little 
confession because I have a lot 

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of Enniogram fours in my life 
and I am black and I am Irish 

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and there are. 
Two groups of people that mock 

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because they love. 
So if you hear me being a little

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ridiculous and a little 
irreverent about our beloved 

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Enniogram fours, please know 
that it comes from a place of 

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adoration. 
Seriously, I mock because I 

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love. 
OK, so let's move in to the 

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Enniogram 4. 
And remember we are doing this 

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exploration not to box ourselves
in, but to break ourselves free.

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Knowing what your inclinations 
are gives you information to 

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choose to choose how you want to
be and who you want to be. 

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And just because we have a 
primary archetype or Anyogram 

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type that we fall into doesn't 
mean we're limited to that. 

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We are all everything, and we 
want to borrow the best from 

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each, an aagram type, and 
integrate it into ourselves so 

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that we become more enriched and
enriching. 

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OK, so please forgive the 
flipping around of papers, 

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because that's just how it's 
going to be. 

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And here we go. 
An eogram for all right so an 

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eogram for the individualist, 
the artist, the romantic, the 

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melancholic, the aesthete, the 
tragic victim, the special one. 

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Fours at their best are warm, 
compassionate, introspective, 

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expressive, creative, intuitive,
supportive, refined. 

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Fours at that. 
Their worst are depressed, 

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self-conscious, guilt ridden, 
moralistic, withdrawn, stubborn,

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Moody, self absorbed. 
Fours are motivated, motivated 

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by the need to experience their 
feelings and to be understood, 

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to search for the meaning of 
life and to avoid being 

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ordinary. 
There are two groups of of 

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people. 
Who are often really mad at the 

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Anya gram. 
When they first find out what 

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they are, they tend to. 
Be twos and fours Anya Gram 

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twos, as the helper tends to get
really angry when someone 

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implies that they're helping is 
a form of manipulation, right? 

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That that'll make it too mad. 
And Anya gram force tends to get

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bad that there's a type Anya 
Gram force really do not want to

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be ordinary. 
They do not want to be ordinary.

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All right, so let's dig into the
anyogram 4 As you recall, 2 

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threes and fours are the feeling
center. 

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They are motivated by their 
emotions and often are 

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struggling with shame at the 
core. 

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So anyogram fours deal with all 
of this by marinating in their 

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feelings. 
They marinate in them and 

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Anyogram 4 that I know and love 
will occasionally literally lie 

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down on the floor listening to 
dust in the wind. 

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And if you don't know what that 
song is, stop. 

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Go listen to it. 
So the Enneagram force basic 

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fear is of having no identity 
and no personal significance. 

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Let that sink in for a second. 
It's like being a nobody or 

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being like everybody, which is 
the same in their minds as being

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a nobody. 
So the basic desire of an 

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Enneagram for to find themselves
and their significance, to 

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create an identity out of their 
inner experience, their super 

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ego message. 
And you remember, the Super ego 

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is like the conscience. 
It's the Freudian language of 

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super ego, ego and ID. 
Where your super ego is your 

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conscience, your rules. 
Hey little girl you are that. 

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I'm talking to a dog. 
In case you're wondering, your 

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ego is your personality. 
And then your ID is going to be 

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those instinctual subconscious 
urges and drives. 

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So the Super ego message for any
Agram fours is you are good or 

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okay if you are true to 
yourself. 

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If you are true to yourself, 
here's a quote. 

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Here's a quote that sort of 
typifies in any AGRAM 4. 

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And this is from the Rizzo 
Hudson book. 

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I collapse when I'm out in the 
world. 

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I've had a trail of relationship
disasters. 

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I have hated my sister's 
goodness and hated goodness in 

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general. 
I went years without joy in my 

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life, just pretending to smile 
because real smiles would not 

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come to me. 
I have had constant longing for 

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whatever I cannot have. 
My longings can never become 

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fulfilled because I now realize 
that I am attached to the 

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longing and not to any specific 
end results. 

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So one of the challenges that 
any of Graham fours have is that

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they often feel like they are on
the outside, pressing their 

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their noses and hands against 
the glass. 

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And real life, good life, joyful
life is inside the glass and 

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they are outsiders who can never
be inside. 

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So let's dig in a little bit 
more. 

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So there are 9 levels that Riso 
Hudson identify as different 

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levels of emotional maturity 
with NAA gram types. 

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So let's dig into the NAA Gram 
4. 

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So oh wait, did I do? 
I did. 

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OK, sorry, I've been interrupted
a few times. 

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By various creatures and I'm 
losing track of which iteration 

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we're on. 
And the dogs just opened the 

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door so I don't know if the 
background noise is is louder. 

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I live with very loud beings but
I digress. 

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Level 9 and Agram 4 would would 
be presenting as despairing and 

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life denying the realization 
that they have wasted their 

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lives. 
Pursuing futile fantasies is too

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much for unhealthy force. 
They may attempt to elicit 

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rescue through self-destructive 
behavior or simply end their 

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lives to escape their negative 
self consciousness. 

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In some cases they may commit 
crimes of passion. 

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So this is someone who's deeply 
wounded and deeply out of touch 

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with their own well-being and 
their own inner light. 

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So moving up to the level 8 and 
any agram for who's operating at

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an unhealthy 8 level would 
present as self rejecting, 

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clinically depressed force, have
become so desperate to be the 

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individual of their fantasies 
that they hate everything about 

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themselves that does not 
correspond to it. 

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They loathe themselves and hate 
others for failing to save them.

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They may sabotage whatever good 
is left in their lives. 

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Self rejecting and clinically 
depressed. 

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So one of the vulnerabilities 
that all forests have is that 

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feeling things so very very 
deeply. 

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OK, moving up level 7. 
So as we say moving up please 

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hear the air quotes. 
We're just talking about being 

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more emotionally skillful and 
and more what's the word self 

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realized? 
More self actualized. 

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So level 7 unhealthy anagram 4 
May present as hateful and 

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alienated fours fear that they 
are wasting their lives and this

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may be true. 
To save their self-image, they 

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reject everyone and everything 
that does not support their view

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of themselves or their emotional
demands. 

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They're repressed rage results 
in depression, apathy and 

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constant fatigue. 
Self disclosure moment. 

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So my anyogram type is anyogram 
5 with A4 wing. 

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We're not talking about wings 
just yet, but it's one way of 

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understanding. 
So you have your main type and 

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you can kind of lean towards the
anyogram types to either side of

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that. 
So you could be A5 wing 4 or A5 

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wing 6. 
So as A5. 

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Wing wing 4I often have 
experienced some of these kinds 

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of four tendencies, and one of 
them is when I'm really not my 

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best self is that constant 
fatigue, That constant fatigue 

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like that inner sabotage. 
Where's a person out? 

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So I fully relate to that. 
But as we move out of this lower

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low vibe, less emotionally 
healthy version of the Anyagram 

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fours, we move up to level 6. 
At level 6, which is in the 

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range of average, we can 
consider or we might notice 

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Anyagrams as presenting as self 
indulgent or decadent. 

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Fours fear that life demands 
will force them to give up their

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dreams and they despair that 
they will never be rescued. 

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They feel they are missing out 
on life and envy the stability 

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of others, so they exempt 
themselves from the rules, 

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becoming sensual, pretentious 
and unproductive. 

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So I have a few people in my 
world who would not self 

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identify as hedonists, but I 
would identify them as 

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hedonists. 
They're very much pleasure first

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personality types. 
So there's a there's a sense of 

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really leaning into the the 
sensuality of things in a 

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escapist way, not in a a vibrant
sort of self expressed way, that

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sensual, pretentious and 
unproductive way. 

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So moving up level 5, at this 
level, our NA Gram 4 is going to

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present a self absorbed and 
temperamental fours, worry that 

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others will not recognize or 
appreciate them and their 

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uniqueness. 
So they play hard to get testing

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others to see if they are really
interested in them, aloof, 

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selfconscious and melancholy. 
They believe that their 

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fragility will attract A rescuer
and keep others away. 

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So there's something about the 
stereotypical artist that you 

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may be hearing a hint of you 
know they're they're sulking in 

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some sort of way. 
You know they're being 

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unapproachable. 
I'm I'm imagining someone in a 

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in a beret in a fake French 
accent kind of a thing aloof 

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selfconscious and melancholy. 
And they kind of test people 

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like they they give them the the
hard to get routine to see if 

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they'll fight through in order 
to actually be with them. 

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So moving up a level 4, so a 
level 4 Anneagram 4 would 

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present as romanticizing and 
individualistic force begin to 

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fear that they're changing 
feelings will not sustain them 

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and their creativity. 
So they use their imaginations 

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to prolong and intensify their 
moods. 

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They use fantasy and style to 
bolster their individuality and 

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begin to dream of someone who 
will rescue them. 

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So this can be it's that that 
it's that what I what I refer to

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as marinating. 
Hold on please. 

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OK, so when we talk about about 
fours using their imaginations 

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to prolong and intensify their 
moods, we're really talking 

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about that tendency to marinate 
in them. 

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It's that desire to be creative,
to be really in touch with their

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essence. 
And if the feeling feels too 

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fleeting, they're going to find 
some way to recreate it, to 

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cling on to it, in order to have
that, that, that creative, that 

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creative fuel of intense 
feelings. 

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OK, so now we're moving up to 
the 1-2 and three, the healthy 

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levels of a well nourished well 
integrated level 4. 

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So to Level 3, not a level 4, 
excuse me, Anyagram 4. 

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So to Level 3, the Anyagram four
person is going to present as 

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self revealing and creative. 
There's a reason this type is 

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called the artist, right? 
And it's not necessarily 

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painters. 
You know, it's going to be 

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someone who lives their life 
artistically, even if they are 

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not necessarily in an artistic 
profession. 

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You know, you think about the 
very stylish person in your 

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insurance office and that person
is probably in the new year gram

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four or three. 
But I digress. 

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We don't want to diagnose other 
people. 

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Here we go. 
Fours reinforce their self-image

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by expressing their 
individuality through creative 

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action. 
They are eloquent and subtle, 

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exploring their feelings and 
impressions and finding ways of 

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sharing them with others. 
Their creativity is highly 

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personal, but often has 
universal implications. 

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So if you think of a writer or 
an actor or a good storyteller 

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or you know, even like whatever 
whatever the artistic expression

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might turn out to be, whether 
it's cooking, whatever it is 

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that this Level 3, that's 
healthy, Niagram 4 type is going

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to be able to take what's inside
of them and share it with people

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outside of them in a way that's 
very relatable. 

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It's really beautiful. 
OK, Level 2A, Level 2, Niagram 4

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is going to present as 
introspective and sensitive 

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Four's focus on their own 
feelings and preferences to 

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establish a clear sense of 
personal identity. 

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Their self-image is I am 
sensitive, different, and 

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selfaware. 
So this is going to be someone 

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who's really defined as a 
sensitive, selfaware creative 

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person, and they're still going 
to have that quality of being 

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able to, to some degree or 
another, take their insides and 

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put them on their outsides in a 
relatable way. 

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And then we get to a level one 
healthy 4. 

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So this person is going to be a 
very well integrated anagram for

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type and remember talking about 
types and we're not boxing 

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ourselves in. 
It's going. 

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This person is going to present 
as life embracing, life 

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enhancing and I love the sound 
of that. 

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For is let go of the belief that
they are more flawed than others

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and are thus freed from their 
self absorption, absorption. 

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Their basic desire to find 
themselves and their 

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significance is also achieved 
unless their problems with our 

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identity and its stability are 
solved. 

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They are self renewing, 
redemptive and revelatory. 

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So one of the dark sides, one of
the shadows of the aneogram 4 

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really is this deep sense of 
being uniquely broken. 

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So remember, twos, threes and 
fours are heart centers, are 

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feeling oriented. 
Individuals are negotiating a 

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deep sense of shame. 
So at the bottom of the way of 

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force oriented to the world is 
this sense of being uniquely, 

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profoundly, unlike anyone else 
anywhere, and therefore flawed 

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in an inexpressible, unfixable 
way. 

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And so one of the ways that 
force can become more integrated

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and more whole and more in touch
with their true inner cells is 

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to let go of the sense of being 
unique by virtue of being 

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uniquely flawed. 
One of the challenges I 

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sometimes have as a therapist is
there's something called covert 

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narcissism and a covert 
narcissism who thinks thinks 

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they're the worst. 
So grandiose narcissists are 

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like, I'm the best, I'm the 
greatest, I'm the most I'm, I'm 

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the the the bee's knees, cats, 
meals, monkeys. 

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But I don't know, I'm making 
stuff up now. 

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Whereas a covert narcissist, 
it's like no one is as pathetic 

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as I. 
No one has suffered as much as I

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am. 
No one, no matter what happens, 

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I will never be okay, right. 
So that is the weakness of the 

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of all of us, of course, but 
that is the particular weakness 

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of people who are oscillating as
an anagram for archetype. 

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So when you start to realize 
that you are not, not only are 

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you not broken, but you're not 
uniquely broken. 

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Fours like of the belief that 
they are more flawed than others

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and are freed from their self 
absorption. 

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So there's no need to create 
uniqueness through suffering or 

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problems. 
Yeah. 

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So fours like to be special. 
It's really important to them to

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be special. 
So we're talking about with any 

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AGRAM threes they want to be 
admired. 

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Any AGRAM twos really want to be
liked. 

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Any AGRAM fours really want to 
be special. 

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So it's really hard sometimes 
for any agram fours when they 

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realize that there are people 
like them, you know, they'll 

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00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:40,770
have a special interest. 
And then someone else will have 

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00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:43,210
that special interest and it'll 
hurt their feelings that they're

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00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:46,130
not cool or unique in that way 
anymore. 

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So one way to start to get a 
little out of the weaknesses of 

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the NAA gram four and start to 
get into the into the strengths 

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00:20:02,230 --> 00:20:11,110
of the four is to stop taking 
yourself so, so seriously you 

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00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:16,470
want to lean into sort of that 
NAA Gram one sensibility. 

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00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:21,630
You want to engage with reality 
through meaningful actions, by 

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00:20:21,630 --> 00:20:24,710
committing yourself to 
principles, to make a 

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00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:29,030
contribution to the world. 
Not by savoring your feelings, 

295
00:20:29,030 --> 00:20:33,870
but by doing things that matter,
living according to your values 

296
00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:37,910
instead of your moods. 
So if you can sort of grasp that

297
00:20:38,630 --> 00:20:48,250
that delicious anagram one sense
of principle as an Enneagram 

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00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:52,130
for, that'll help lift you up 
out of that self referential. 

299
00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:56,850
My feelings are the only things 
that matter to behaving 

300
00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:59,890
according to my values, and my 
principles matters. 

301
00:21:00,370 --> 00:21:03,410
So that's one way to to get out 
of the shadow side of the four 

302
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:11,010
and into the healthy, vibrant, 
luscious, creative, special, 

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00:21:11,010 --> 00:21:14,330
unique wondrousness that is an 
Enneagram for. 

304
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:18,940
Here's a wonderful quote. 
It is true of us all, whatever 

305
00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:23,380
our work, that we are artists, 
so long as we are alive to the 

306
00:21:23,380 --> 00:21:27,220
concreteness of the moment and 
do not use it to some other 

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00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:30,660
purpose. 
MC Richards, So I'm sharing with

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00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:33,460
you out of the Riso Hudson book.
So it's called The Wisdom of the

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00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:37,340
Enneagram by Don Richard Riso 
and Russ Hudson. 

310
00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:42,820
And also the Enneagram Made Easy
from Renee Baron and Elizabeth 

311
00:21:42,980 --> 00:21:47,410
Owageli Wugil. 
I don't know how to pronounce 

312
00:21:47,410 --> 00:21:48,130
your name. 
Elizabeth. 

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00:21:48,130 --> 00:21:51,690
Sorry for that. 
So remember, we're talking about

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00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:55,930
people who are warm, 
compassionate, introspective, 

315
00:21:56,130 --> 00:22:01,730
expressive, creative, intuitive,
supportive, refined. 

316
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,650
Yeah, any agram fours really 
feel their feelings. 

317
00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:09,690
So if you have any AGRAM 4 in 
your life and I I have plenty. 

318
00:22:12,570 --> 00:22:14,370
They really do feel things very,
very deeply. 

319
00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:16,170
I'm not saying that the rest of 
us don't. 

320
00:22:16,650 --> 00:22:19,370
I'm saying that an aagram force 
just have a unique relationship 

321
00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:22,930
to their feelings. 
They sometimes just want to 

322
00:22:22,930 --> 00:22:26,170
savor them so let them you know 
you don't want your annagram for

323
00:22:26,170 --> 00:22:29,610
to like get into a deep 
depression But if someone if you

324
00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:32,210
are on an aagram for and you 
have that I feel like crying 

325
00:22:32,210 --> 00:22:35,730
playlist feel like crying 
playlist is awesome do it do it.

326
00:22:36,130 --> 00:22:41,330
Just remember that feelings are 
not facts. 

327
00:22:42,050 --> 00:22:45,800
They're real but not true. 
And feeling something isn't the 

328
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:50,200
same as doing something. 
The Enneagram 4 call to arms is 

329
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:54,040
to be in action, to feel the 
feelings and express the 

330
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,360
feelings in a way that aligns 
with your values. 

331
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:03,880
OK. 
Yeah, Enneagram. 

332
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,640
Fours are so lovely. 
Like I said, I I have many of 

333
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,680
them in my life and I myself 
have a have a four wing, so I 

334
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:16,260
definitely have. 
I have my playlist of Woe is me.

335
00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:18,540
That I love. 
That I love to just indulge in 

336
00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:20,900
sometimes. 
I also love to indulge in my 

337
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,580
happy moods too. 
So there's that. 

338
00:23:24,900 --> 00:23:31,100
So with that, we will sign off 
from Anyogram 4, and I want to 

339
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:33,300
invite us all to ask that 
question. 

340
00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:37,620
How can I get in touch with my 
authentic feelings and use them 

341
00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:44,530
to fuel my creativity? 
How can I really and truly feel 

342
00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:50,450
my feelings and allow them to 
fuel my creativity? 

343
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,810
Well, we're going to start 
getting into the head thinking 

344
00:23:53,810 --> 00:23:57,730
types 5-6 and seven, and that's 
especially good advice for the 

345
00:23:58,210 --> 00:24:02,370
for the thinking types, right? 
Get out of your head, into your 

346
00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:08,250
heart, into your body. 
Feel those feelings, allow them 

347
00:24:08,250 --> 00:24:09,930
to process. 
Keep it moving. 

348
00:24:09,930 --> 00:24:12,220
Go out and mix something. 
All right. 

349
00:24:13,180 --> 00:24:18,100
So you, dear, dear, dear one, 
You're amazing. 

350
00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:22,660
You're wonderful. 
You have so many gifts, and 

351
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:25,340
you've only just begun to Plumb 
the surface of them. 

352
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:32,020
And the whole world is a better 
place because you are here in 

353
00:24:32,020 --> 00:24:34,260
this moment and we are grateful 
for you. 

354
00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:39,940
And you and my beloved human 
friend are worthy and deserving 

355
00:24:40,820 --> 00:24:45,140
of A life is so glorious it 
transcends even your own 

356
00:24:45,260 --> 00:24:53,020
imagination. 
Until next time, I am so honored

357
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:55,660
that you share time with me. 
If you've listened this far, 

358
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:58,180
then something here was of value
to you. 

359
00:24:58,180 --> 00:25:00,860
Would you please be a friend of 
the podcast and share it with at

360
00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:04,540
least one other person? 
The podcast is available on most

361
00:25:04,540 --> 00:25:08,980
platforms including YouTube, and
I need your help to get the word

362
00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:11,270
out. 
So please, like, subscribe and 

363
00:25:11,270 --> 00:25:13,910
share. 
And a five star review on iTunes

364
00:25:13,910 --> 00:25:18,670
would be Chef's Kiss. 
Thank you so much. 

365
00:25:18,670 --> 00:25:19,510
See you next time.