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Hello, beautiful humans and 
welcome to the mental Wellness. 

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Wake up, show a weekly podcast 
where growth minded creative 

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people, come to learn, best 
practices from both spirituality

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and psychology that create 
lasting well-being. 

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I am your host mental Wellness, 
expert improvised acting teacher

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therapist and Coach, Don 
McMillan. 

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Let's get to it. 
It. 

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What I want to talk about today 
is a William Glasser but why who

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is William Glasser and why are 
we talking about him today? 

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So William Glasser is the 
founder Creator, beginner of 

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choice Theory which is a 
therapeutic Paradigm. 

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And what about his theory? 
I want to bring up our, his five

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basic needs, a lot of people 
know about Abraham Maslow's 

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hierarchy of needs and it's 
great and it's fabulous and 

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there's a reason why a lot of 
people know about it. 

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The reason why I want to talk 
about Glasser is I find. 

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It is a really simple framework 
to keep track of. 

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So according to Glasser, we all 
have these five basic drives 

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safety and survival Zone 1. 
We'll just call that survival. 

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Belonging power, freedom, and 
fun. 

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So the five needs our safety, 
belonging power, freedom, and 

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fun. 
So, let's unpack those a little 

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bit. 
So safety and survival. 

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Go hand-in-hand, your brain will
your body mind will will prefer 

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intent towards anything that it 
has coded as safe and anything 

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that has happened in the past 
that it has survived will be 

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coded as safer than anything 
unfamiliar. 

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So that fear of the unknown 
thing, that a lot of us 

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experience is because of his 
basic survival need our organism

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is driven towards just plain 
old, not dying. 

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So, anything that it says, I saw
that before it didn't kill me. 

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I know how to survive that. 
This other thing over here, I 

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don't know what that is, so I'm 
going to avoid it. 

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So our basic survival need is a 
prime driver. 

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We very rationally or our 
body-mind realizes that you 

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don't do anything else on the 
planet if you are not alive. 

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So, our first most basic need is
that safety and survival. 

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Related to but not entirely 
dependent on is that belonging 

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need love and belonging if you 
think about how our ancestors 

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survived out in the elements, it
was by banding together. 

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So we have that love and 
belonging need in part because 

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it's a key to our survival. 
If you are by yourself, you're 

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unlikely to thrive, you're 
unlikely to survive and so 

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finding ways to affiliate with 
other All to make connections to

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other people to find a try of a 
community, a group becomes a 

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very basic need finding 
affiliate affiliation between 

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love and belonging between 
parents and children is 

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important. 
Otherwise, why would an adult 

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sacrifice all the things that 
they sacrifice in order to care 

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for their offspring to adulthood
Or Independence. 

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So that's love and belonging. 
And then power power is not 

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about exerting power over when 
we have a drive to exert power 

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over other people, that's a 
Corruption of the basic need 

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power. 
In this case has the power to 

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do, it might be called efficacy,
it is ability. 

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It is being able to make a 
difference in your environment 

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to accomplish things, to do 
things to have some sort of 

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effect. 
On the world around you that's 

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going to be power. 
So power, not power over, but 

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power to do and then we get into
freedom. 

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And again, that's not 
necessarily license. 

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Although a lot of people 
interpret it that way. 

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Freedom is about. 
Autonomy about choice, being 

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able to have Choice over what 
you do with your body mind and 

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what happens to your body mind. 
So when we Talk about Freedom. 

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That's what we're looking at. 
Not being oppressed by others or

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the environment not being 
controlled by others or the 

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environment. 
So we have a basic drive towards

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freedom. 
And fun. 

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This is the one when I share it 
with my groups. 

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They're often like, wait, that's
a basic need. 

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Oh yeah. 
All mammals play. 

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The problem with adults with 
humans is that we stop. 

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We stop playing. 
We start doing. 

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Stop doing things for the sheer,
Joy of doing them. 

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We start doing things because 
they're enjoyable to do in and 

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of themselves. 
We start arranging our lives 

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around a transaction, I will do 
this thing in order to get that 

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thing. 
And we also confuse fun and 

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enjoyment with pleasure. 
And we've talked about this 

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before enjoyment, transcends and
includes pleasure, fun, 

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transcends and includes 
pleasure. 

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So chocolate cake is pleasurable
but it's not the same thing as 

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fun. 
You can create fun around eating

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a chocolate cake because the fun
transcends, it includes the 

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pleasure but pleasure by itself 
is sort of a lower order or 

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basic base level of this human. 
Men drive towards fun. 

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And as we all know, Pleasures, 
that are overindulged within 

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with overindulged, become a 
source of pain, right? 

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Maybe one glass of wine is 
pleasurable. 15 glasses of wine 

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gets you in the emergency room. 
So fun things that we do because

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we enjoy them and this can get 
us into looking at the work of 

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me, hijacked at me high, it was 
who was the one who explored 

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flow, those flow States. 
That's where you lose track of 

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time. 
Where the thing that you're 

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doing is disease, engaging 
enough for you to be totally 

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immersed in it challenging 
enough to keep you at it, but 

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not so challenging that you're 
overwhelmed with frustration. 

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Ation for some people video 
games can be a flow state. 

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Where the thing that you're 
doing is fun enough. 

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It's challenging enough to keep 
you fully engaged in the present

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moment so that other 
distractions fall into the 

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background but not so much so 
that that it's frustrating you 

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and your like or so flow is in 
that fun family. 

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Pleasure is in the fun family. 
Enjoyment is in the fun family. 

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so, the takeaways that I really 
wanted to land on Our about 

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intentionally creating fun in 
your life and I'm going to raise

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my hand and say that I'm not 
always as good at this as I 

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might, like, despite the fact 
that I have all of these things 

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built in for fun, right? 
I have all of the Improv that I 

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do, all of the directing that I 
do, the singing that I do. 

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Those activities are chosen for 
their fun ability for their fun 

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potential. 
But and also sometimes Time's 

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the way that I approach them is 
not fun, it's transactional, 

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it's focused driven, its results
driven. 

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I'm going to focus on this thing
in order to get this other 

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thing. 
It's not, it's not. 

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I'm doing this for play. 
This is play like it can become 

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work. 
Yeah. 

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So fun is a vital nutrient. 
It's not a nice to have, it's 

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not a squeeze it in when you get
around to it. 

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It's a vital nutrient. 
And I would suggest that we need

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all five of those needs every 
day and if you can't manage it 

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every day, right? 
Like not every day is going to 

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get and, you know, ring all the 
bells but what if we decided to 

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arrange our weeks so that each 
of those basic needs gets 

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addressed consciously? 
Intentionally. 

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And in a way that honors Us and 
other people. 

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We have a loneliness epidemic. 
I think a lot of us are not 

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getting our 11. 
Belonging needs met in a way 

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that feels good. 
Is there something you can do 

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today? 
This week? 

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No matter how small that might 
be, that would lean into 

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improving your love and 
belonging needs. 

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Is there for power, is there 
something that you're kind of 

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good at that? 
You can do more of. 

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So you get that sense of 
accomplishment that comes from 

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using your personal power. 
Can you use your freedom to make

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choices and support of your own 
well-being? 

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Can we be more intentional about
that? 

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The other point I want to bring 
home which is important to know 

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if you're on a path of growth. 
And it's about the veto power. 

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Of your survival and your 
belonging needs. 

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When we are stuck, a lot of 
times is because something has 

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been coded in our body. 
Mind. 

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Usually, before the age of 
eight, as being a threat to our 

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safety, our safety survival, or 
a love and belonging. 

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So for example, this came up for
me recently, I'm taking a 

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course. 
And I think I warned you in the 

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past, there will often be a 
sentence in this podcast that 

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will begin with. 
I'm taking a course and looking 

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at some unhelpful beliefs, 
right? 

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That's, that's like peeling, an 
onion. 

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Getting at your core beliefs 
that are not serving you, you 

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get one there, you find new 
ones, you find nuances. 

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We're always in the process of 
unfolding and that's just that's

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just built into the system and 
it's nothing to be judgmental 

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about. 
It's just how we are. 

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However, made were always in the
process of unfolding of 

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blossoming of growing and 
sometimes that work. 

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Looks like continuing to unearth
unhelpful versions of beliefs 

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and seeing what we can do to 
unpack them. 

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So I'm taking this course and I 
was looking at a belief and I 

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came across something where I 
felt like I had to choose 

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between the thing that I want 
and belonging. 

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Belonging and survival will 
veto. 

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The other needs. 
It will veto, it kind of goes 

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back to that Maslow, like 
hierarchy of needs. 

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If you have a, if your 
body-mind, thanks, you have a 

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choice between fun and belonging
and we'll choose a belonging. if

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your body and mind thinks you 
have to choose between, Freedom 

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and survival, it will choose 
survival. 

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If your body mind thinks you 
have to choose between 

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exercising, your freedom and 
staying alive. 

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It's going to choose survival, 
is going to choose Staying 

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Alive. so, Sometimes, when we 
are stuck. 

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We have learned from our family 
of origin from our culture of 

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origin from our churches. 
Our schools insert to the group 

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that we were socialized into as 
little itty-bitty people. 

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That in order to belong to this 
group, there are these behaviors

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and beliefs that are okay. 
And there are these behaviors 

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and beliefs that will get you 
ejected from this group. 

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And unless and until we uncover 
those beliefs and we explore 

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them to see if they are serving 
us, they will veto other things 

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that we might choose to do or 
create in the fun freedom and 

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power category. 
It's really quite powerful those

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survival and belonging needs are
so powerful that they will veto 

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what you the conscious. 
The cognitive brain is like, I 

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really want to get fit, right? 
I really want to get fit, but if

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you, for example, but if you're 
the socializing group that you 

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were brought into, is that 
belonging is around food and 

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Everybody, Eats huge plates of 
food. 

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That's how you belong in this 
community. 

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If you're not eating huge plates
of food, it's going to trigger 

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that. 
Oh no, I'm not going to belong 

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to my community, that's not. 
Okay, and it's going to show up 

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as air quotes. 
Self-sabotage, that belonging 

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need is going to veto your 
desire to exercise your freedom 

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to choose a greater level of 
fitness. 

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So the invitation here, you have
all those five basic needs and I

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just invited you to consciously 
intentionally and purposefully 

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find ways of exploring getting 
those five basic needs met every

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day if possible or at least 
every week leaning into that. 

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And to the degree that some of 
those areas may be 

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underdeveloped or not working as
well. 

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Perhaps the culprit is as 
something in your body mind has 

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coded. 
That thing that desire. 

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As putting your belonging at 
risk or your very survival at 

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risk and those drives will veto 
the other three. 

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So self-sabotage does not exist.
Self-sabotage. 

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Just means there's a part of you
that wants something different 

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than another part of you and one
of them is winning and what I'm 

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suggesting today is that the 
part of you that is in survival 

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or belonging Camp is going to. 
The parts of you are going to 

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down, vote. 
They're going to vote down and 

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overrule the other parts of you.
So your work then is to uncover 

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that belief, I have to choose 
between being fit and belonging.

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Is that true? 
Is that real? 

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Does that make sense? 
Is that serving me? 

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What if I can have both Fitness 
and belonging what might that 

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look like? 
See, begin to interrogate those 

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beliefs and unwind from them so 
that your safety survival love 

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and belonging needs are working 
together with your power, 

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freedom and fun needs. what if 
we can get all five of those 

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needs met in glorious, beautiful
Technicolor ways in a ways that 

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honor us and the people around 
us And create lives that we are 

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in love with but if that's 
possible. 

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Food For Thought. 
Let that simmer around in your 

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Noggin for a bit. 
Yeah, reach out to me on the 

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socials if you have thoughts on 
that or something pops for you. 

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If you have a contribution to 
that conversation, I'd love to 

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hear it. 
My socials for the most part are

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at the dawn McMillan MCM, I LAN 
So, there you go. 

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Just a little food for thought 
for you. 

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Thank you for listening. 
I know, I say that in any number

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of ways, but I deeply and 
profoundly mean it that you 

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would want to give up your 
precious time, give of your 

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precious time to hang out with 
me. 

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Around this little campfire. 
It's truly humbling and honoring

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to thank you. 
You know what else? 

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You're amazing. 
You are whole, you are perfect. 

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You are complete. 
Just the way you are. 

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Right here, right now. you are 
allowed to change and you're 

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allowed not to and, You are 
worthy and deserving of all good

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things. 
Until next time, I beautiful 

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human. 
I am so honored that you share 

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time with me. 
If you've listened this far, 

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then something here was a value 
to you. 

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Would you please be a friend of 
the podcast and share it with at

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00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,099
least one other person? 
The podcast is available on most

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platforms including YouTube and 
I need your help to get the word

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00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,800
out. 
So please like, subscribe, and 

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00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,700
share, and a five star review on
iTunes, would be glad chefs 

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kiss. 
Thank you so much. 

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See you next time.