Hello, beautiful humans and welcome to the mental Wellness.
Wake up, show a weekly podcast where growth minded creative
people, come to learn, best practices from both spirituality
and psychology that create lasting well-being.
I am your host mental Wellness, expert improvised acting teacher
therapist and Coach, Don McMillan.
Let's get to it. It.
But before we get to that, I really have to say, thank you.
Thank you for listening. Time is such a precious
resource. And for you to say, hey, I'm
going to spend time on the mental Wellness.
Wake up show, we are spreading all over the world and that is.
Thanks to you. Thank you for showing up.
Thank you for reading and reviewing and subscribing and
sharing the podcast. I couldn't do this without you
and I wouldn't want to like you're the whole reason this
exists. We say thank you to Bertram for
making strange noises in the background.
And here's my gratitude to the United States.
Those of you in Romania. Hey you Australia, EU and
Canada, Ukraine United Kingdom, Italy, Singapore, Columbia,
Thailand, South Africa, Brazil, Bangladesh, Egypt, France,
Germany, French Polynesia, Antigua and Barbuda.
Barbuda Israel. Philippines, Norway Belgium, the
Netherlands Spain, Ireland. Hello ancestors, Puerto Rico,
New Zealand. Russia United Arab Emirates
Maldives turkey, Mexico, Brunei, Vietnam.
We're trending in Vietnam. I'm so excited.
India. Sweden?
Kenya Algeria. Zimbabwe Portugal.
Jamaica, Finland. Poland, Hong Kong Belarus,
Argentina. Jordan Indonesia, Qatar the
Republic of Lithuania Kuwait. Yeah, that's so exciting.
So, hi. Hi to all of you.
I'm especially impressed by those of you who are listening
and you're not first language. When I was growing up, I'm an
army brat. And a lot of my friends had
parents from other countries. It was usually their moms were
from various places that That soldiers would go get stationed
and they would grow up bilingual.
And I was always so mad at my mom for being American.
Come I can't speak Vietnamese but in any case thank you.
Thank you to all of you and if you would, please continue to
like and share and subscribe. The more people we have on this
journey of self actualization and creating a world.
That is better for all of us. The better.
It is. All right.
I'm just too excited. I don't think my words are
coming together in ways that make sense.
So shall we move on to the Of today's podcast.
Alright. So we're going to talk about
your zone of genius and this work is created by gay Hendricks
who is a best-selling self-help author and a psychologist and
counselor like me. And he wrote a book called the
big leap and I think the addition I have is from the 80s,
like this work is old, but it's still relevant.
So the basics are this. They're pretty much for zones.
Of life that you can be operating in.
You have your zone of incompetence.
These are the things that you just do not do well, your zone
of competence. These are the things that you
are, you know, pretty darned, decent, at your zone of
Excellence. These are the things where you
are Top Notch and your zone of Genius, so it seems pretty
self-explanatory but let's dig in a little bit more.
What's the problem with your Zone?
Then competence. Well, it seems pretty obvious.
You're not very good at these things and you are possibly
causing problems by operating in the zone.
Your zone of incompetence are things that you should do very,
very little of you should delegate or simply find other
ways around being the person in charge of these for example, I
what am I incompetent? Probably a lot of things car
mechanics. I am not a good auto mechanic.
Like, I can go to YouTube University and read a manual and
sort of figure things out. But this is not, this is not
something I'm going to be great at.
So if my car needs repairs, I could do it.
But because it's in my zone of incompetence, it's probably
going to take me a really long time and it may not turn out
well. So anything related to that is
probably best done by someone else and if I can't get someone
else to do it, then I need to Take extra time and extra care.
Now, the problem with this kind of incompetence is also that
many people have jobs in their zone of incompetence and so they
become a roadblock to other peoples doing well, we've all
been in work places. If you've or school or whatever
communities that you belong to where there's someone who just
mucks up the works. And they don't mean to, but they
do, and that is very likely. Someone who through accident or,
inclination has found themselves wedged into a position that is
largely filled with activities at which they're not
particularly competent. So, the basic level of being
successful in life is to get out of doing things at which you are
incompetent or two. I choose to narrow in on those
activities that are a part of your, your daily activities,
your job, your responsibilities, and figure out how to be
competent at them, because hanging out in your zone of
incompetence is not only frustrating for you.
It also makes you a problem for other people.
So, Step 1, are you terrible at it?
Stop doing it. I'll get better at it.
So in jobs sometimes this involves job crafting.
So, see you get hired to do a very specific job and you
discover that much like recruiting often is the actual
job that you're expected to do, has a whole lot of activities
that you a didn't know about be. Don't want to do and see here
are very good at. You can start to job, crafty
start to talk to the people around you and go.
Hey I would love to take on more of these projects and less of
these and you start to negotiate.
She ate around that most of the things that which we are
incompetent. Other people are excellent.
So, you want to collaborate with other people, to get out of your
zone of incompetence easy-peasy straightforward, right?
Then we move on to our zone of competence and this is where we
start to get into trouble. So your zone of competence is
where you can get into trouble because you can make money at
it. Your zone of competence can make
you money but it's not the thing that you were put on this Earth
to do. It's not like Our true calling.
It's not you're not bringing all of your gifts to the table, but
you're good at it. So when I was working as an
actor in Los Angeles and things were slow, I would sometimes,
you know, do temp work would always get this feedback like,
oh my God, they loved you. They want you to come back.
And I'm like, all I did was what they asked me to do.
Like I showed up when they told me to show up and I sat there
and answered the phone. Own like it was just pretty much
breathing in the chair that they told me to sit in that a lot of
people would show up in a wouldn't show up or like I don't
even know what they were doing. So the problem with your zone of
competence is that it's fine but I think you deserve a life,
that's better than it's fine. So your zone of competence can
be a little bit troubling, so but that's sort of the Baseline.
You should accept, is your forgive the word should?
That's a bad word. What the Baseline is competence,
do things that you can do at least decently well.
Outsource or and renegotiate anything that you can't.
Okay. So moving up, we have your zone
of Excellence. Now, your zone of Excellence is.
These are those things that you can make a lot of money at.
These are the things you get rewarded for.
These are the things when you are, these are the Straight A's.
These are the blue ribbons. You're good at it.
You're better than many other
people that it and you get rewarded for it.
This is the thing people like. Oh wow.
I wish I could do that. That's your zone of Excellence.
So what's wrong with it? It's also not your true deepest
gifts. These are the things that you
got good at because of a combination of opportunity
interest and you know, genetic Lottery winning but it doesn't
actually feed your soul. You the classic example is going
to be the midlife crisis. You have someone who's made a
great career as a corporate attorney or you know a a bonds
Trader And Wall Street. And they've got this great life.
Everyone talks about how great they are.
They get promoted. They're making a great salary,
but something has been eating away at them the entire time.
And then often in, midlife people start to wonder, is this
all there is? And if you are doing well,
according to external standards, and still wondering, is this all
there is, it might be B, if you're new around here and you
can hear the moaning in the background, that's Bertram, you
just let him get settled on his little couch there.
If you are wondering, is this all there is, it could be a sign
that you are operating in your zone of Excellence.
So what's the big leap according to gay Hendrix?
It's the leap from your zone of Excellence to your zone of
genius and this can be terrifying because your zone of
Excellence is safe. Your zone of Excellence, has a
track record, your zone of Excellence, may have
certificates degrees and awards behind it.
Your zone of Genius, might be something else entirely.
So the classic example would be for our corporate attorney,
right? So they're like is this all
there is is this all there is and finally she says hmm.
I'm gonna I'm gonna go take a year and I'm going to go open a
bed-and-breakfast and make my own goat milk.
Alright, we tend to think about people giving up the safe path
for the more artistic path but it doesn't have to be that it
really doesn't have to be that. It can be something that could
be the reverse. You could have someone who's
been leading this Bohemian lifestyle because they wanted to
be a rebel, but it's also not in their zone of genius and they
decide. You know what I've always liked
numbers and I like money. I'm gonna go be a bookkeeper.
The point is that there could be a greater level of thriving and
reward and life. That is waiting for you.
If you're willing to take the risk to get out of that cozy,
Cocoon of excellence and be true to yourself.
True to yourself Don, that sounds like genuine City.
Yes, it is, it requires a vigorous level of honesty and
integrity and bravery. Because again, that zone of
Excellence is where you get rewarded.
I have in my life noticed people who have everything right on
paper and you know, they end up in my office because they're
like I don't love what I do but everyone else is like, wow, but
you're so good at it but I don't love it but you're so good at it
but I don't love it but you're so good at it and you're making
so much money why would you give that up?
So let's talk a little bit. To open my book.
Now, about the things that get in the way of you making a big
leap from your zone of Excellence to your zone of
Genius, here are some things that get in the way worrying.
So if you're on the spiritual Vibe, worrying is a very low
energy. Low vibration thing to do.
Worrying is tormenting yourself in the present for things that
may or may not be happening ever.
So worrying is a great way to distract yourself from taking
the big leap. If, for example, whirring takes
the shape of what will people think.
If I give up this Dynamic career, which I am so good and I
am Making so much money and I want an award last year.
Will I lose my friends? That's worrying.
Blame. And criticism.
That's pretty self-explanatory, right?
Blame is at the lowest level of moral development.
So, if you are sitting there saying, well, I would be happier
if only Lucy over here would do her job, right?
Or if my wife were thinner, or if my, my dog would stop
groaning, anytime, or if my parents had raised me better, I
don't know how many people I've met who are in their 40s, 50s
60s. 70s, who are still blaming their parents for their poor
outcomes in life? At a certain point, you got to
say, yeah, my my experiences other people have contributed to
the way that my life is right now.
That's a whole different point of view than blaming them.
Because blame and criticism that Judgment of judging others.
So harshly deprives you of energy and resources and it
keeps you from growing and developing as a person getting
sick. Hurt.
Wait, what? Yeah sometimes we will
unconsciously arrange to get ourselves sick or hurt when
we're starting to reach the upper, limit of what we've
learned to accept. As the amount of Love success
benevolence fill in the blank that we are allowed to have So
much of the book he talks about having an upper limit problem.
And what happens is we grow up in the family or the situation
that we grow up in and we get like this thermostat that set at
this is the amount of Happiness, you're allowed to have.
This is the amount of money you're allowed to have.
This is the amount of Health and Beauty.
You're allowed to have in that programming gets so entrenched
that, that when we start to change it, we Unconsciously
start to do things to sabotage. The situation in weight loss
articles, they often talk about a weight loss.
Set point that you get this set point.
Let's say your set point is 175 pounds and you're trying to bulk
up, right? So as soon as you start getting
like 180, your body doesn't freak out 185.
You're really like, oh, I'm going to hit that to 100-pound
Mark. I'm going to bulk up.
I'm going to get there, then you.
Break your wrist and you can't lift, right?
That could be an upper limit problem.
It seems like an accident but there's something inside of us.
That's freaking out about getting too good having it too
good because we were programmed to have the a different point of
view. And so sometimes getting sick or
hurt. Could be a sign that you are
reaching the upper limit and what your programming has.
Told you you're allowed. To have another sign that you
might be holding yourself back unconsciously and your zone of
competence are Excellence. Instead of your zone of Genius
is squabbling. If you find yourself being kind
of irritated and picking fights with people.
That's another really good way to distract yourself from
embracing the possibility of moving into even more awesome
hiding significant feelings. One of the things I say to
people so often especially in couples counseling is speak the
unspoken. If you're building a wall of
resentment against someone that's on you, you you need to
tell them you need to say, hey, I don't appreciate this or
whatever is building the resentment and if you really
care for some speak that too. If you're starting fights
because you're feeling insecure because you really care about
someone, but you don't know how they feel about you.
Maybe you could have that conversation, not keeping
agreements to yourself and others not keeping agreements is
one of the primary ways that we get out of integrity and we're
out of Integrity, we are not in our flow of genuine Society.
We're all guilty of it. I do this.
I'm raising my hand so if you agree to pay the overdue tax
bill at a hundred dollars a month and you don't do it,
you're going to feel it. And that's going to disrupt your
ability to be at your best and to open up to greater good.
If you say that you're going to mow the lawn, some people have
Lawns. I live in a place where we don't
have Lawns. If you say You're Gonna mow the
The lawn on Sunday and you just don't do it.
Then you're breaking your agreements, you're out of
integrity. And the way to get from your
zone of Excellence to your zone. Of Genius is so genuine acity.
Not speaking relevant truths to relevant people.
If there's something that Bob needs to know, tell Bob, not
Jane and then deflecting Brushing off.
Compliments is a good example of deflecting.
So I guess this sort of begs, the question of what's so
important about the zone of Genius, just everything, just
everything. That's when your life begins to
feel like magic when you're living in your zone of Genius.
Your life begins to feel like magic.
You become a benefit more of a benefit.
You're already awesome more of a benefit to everyone around you.
You're more likely to get in. Those flows states where you
just feel like there's a line Moment, Like, You are heart and
soul and body and mind are all working towards the same goal.
We all think we want happiness. Happiness is fleeting, happiness
is a state, not a trait, but when you're living in your zone
of Genius, You get to have joy and joy is a trait.
Joy is a way of experiencing life, it's a way of looking at
life. It's a way of walking through
life, and your zone of Genius is a path to having Joy.
So this episode is really long at this juncture.
So, let's pick this up again, and we'll talk more about these
different levels. Primarily I want to focus on the
zone of excellence in. Out of genius and why?
It is that we have these upper limit behaviors.
I'm sure you have some ideas about, you know, self-sabotage,
which is not a word I like, because there are no bad parts
but really getting into that sense of what is it in us?
That would prevent us from being, okay, with accepting,
more love, more joy, more peace and awareness.
All right, and with that, also excited about our little
Community, one of my intentions for this upcoming new year, is
to find some ways to bring us together.
That feels like my zone of Genius.
And feels good to you. So continue to reach out to me,
please. And thank you.
I love it so much. I love that Instagram messages
that YouTube knows, like, all of it, all of it, all of it.
And if you want to send me an email, I am Don McMillan info at
gmail.com. All right, your glorious being.
You know what? I just remembered.
You're awesome. You are whole, you are perfect.
You are complete. You are worthy and deserving of
living in your zone of genius and an ever-expanding sense of
wholeness of completeness of connection of contribution
because your unique set of talents and abilities.
And inclinations is exactly what the world needs.
Until next time.