Hello, beautiful humans and welcome to the mental Wellness.
Wake up, show a weekly podcast where growth minded creative
people, come to learn, best practices from both spirituality
and psychology that create lasting well-being.
I am your host mental Wellness, expert improvised acting teacher
therapist and Coach, Don McMillan.
Let's get to it. It.
Alright, you beautiful humans you today I would like to gently
remind you not to believe everything.
You think? We tend to think that whatever
happens inside our head is real or true or important.
It is not so much of what we think was in planted there by
our society, by her culture and by our upbringing.
So for today, I'd like to just Circle back around to our very
basic cognitive behavioral therapy principles challenge,
your thoughts update, your priors, and to make that point,
I have a fun way of bringing that to your attention.
But before I do that, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for sharing the podcast.
That means the world. That means the world, our
community does continue to grow. Is that exciting?
Like, there's somebody across the whole planet who sharing
this experience with us, how amazing is that?
So thank you so much for showing up here and for inviting other
people to show up here. So let's talk about Byron Katie.
So Byron Katie is a spiritual teacher who created the work and
we've touched on this before. But if you look into the work,
girlfriend found, but cognitive behavioral therapy and I'm going
to tell you Who I say that the principal action of the work is
to challenge what you believe. And then replace it with
something else that you could believe that is as true or more
true. So, the first question in the
work is, is it true? Is it true in about 75% of the
time? When I ask a client, that
they'll say I mess up everything and I'll say, is that true?
And I'll be like, well, yeah, well well, no, right.
Especially when I, when I challenge back, is it true that
you mess up everything like? Well, no.
So that's the beginning of unwinding from your thoughts.
Cognitive behavioral therapy has another little piece of it which
it explains to you. What kinds of thinking errors?
You might be engaging in and that can be very helpful.
Helpful for certain types of thinkers, who want to have a
tool for figuring out exactly why that thought is unhelpful,
excuse me. But for now, let's just stick
with, is it true? Is it 100% true?
And invariably if it's a belief the answer is no.
You like wait a minute, wait a minute, there are facts in
science. Yeah.
You don't you are not losing sleep over and you are not
struggling in your life because believing that tomatoes are
actually a fruit. Not a vegetable, right?
Those things aren't disturbing you.
What we were talking about are the beliefs that disturb you.
I always mess up everything. When you begin to question, is
that true? You open up a space to have
another belief begin to take its place?
And Neuroscience is beginning to discover how that works.
I don't understand it. I'm not a neuroscientist
although I'm very tempted to become one.
So for now, don't believe everything you think.
What you think is just words and images.
Occurring in your mind what you believe are words and images
occurring in your mind that are attached to a bodily Sensation
that is it, that is not evidence that they are true.
So what's my fun way of challenging your belief that
what you think is true misheard? Lyrics misheard lyrics.
One way to crack me up. 100% of the time is with misheard
lyrics. So for example Let's talk about
Jimi Hendrix, Purple Haze, right, what you thought, you
heard Excuse me, while I kiss this guy, but what he really
said was Excuse me while I kiss the sky.
Now, I guarantee you that until you actually saw the lyrics
written down. You are 100% correct.
That you were singing along to that song.
Absolutely accurately. So, if I had asked you, is it
true that this the lyrics of this song are?
Excuse me, while I kiss the Sky. You be that couple?
Yeah. And then you learn.
No, it's Excuse me while I kiss the sky.
How about I love this Living on a Prayer.
I'm on a website right now. USA Today Livin on a Prayer by
Bon Jovi, 1986, what you thought you heard doesn't make a
difference if we're naked or not.
But what they really said is doesn't make a difference if we
make it or not. Right.
Yeah yeah. What's another good one, I'm
scrolling that scrolled, La. Isla Bonita, from Madonna, 1986
last night. I dreamt of some bagels.
Some bagels when she said last night, I dreamt of San Pedro.
I don't know why all these are from the 70s and 80s.
Oh, here's one from the 90s Will Smith.
What you thought you heard kick a chicken with it.
What he actually said, getting jiggy with it.
My point is sometimes we acquire information that we think is
absolutely true and then we get new information.
And we discover that what we thought was not true.
So the invitation is to question your beliefs, especially the
ones that disturb you as Actually, the ones that are air
quotes - all men are misogynists.
All of them all the time. Okay?
So let's stick with Byron Katie. What happens in your world when
you believe these thoughts? That you believe does it create
Joy? Does it create expansion?
Does it create peace? Does it create safety?
Does it create connection? If not be willing, be willing to
upgrade that belief or an acceptance and commitment
therapy land right now. Please forgive all the
background noise. I don't have the energy to fix
it. Be willing to change your
beliefs be willing to change your beliefs.
Why am I repeating myself? Because we are rigidly attached
to the things that we think are true.
We have captured our identities up into.
I'm the kind of person who the world is like, people are like,
and we hold on, to those rigid beliefs, with two fists and we
go Kicking and Screaming if anyone dares challenge them,
even though those beliefs are the source of our suffering,
Suffering. Don't believe everything that
you think, if what you are thinking is creating suffering,
be willing to believe something else.
Now, we have to talk about trauma.
A lot of our beliefs are formed as trauma responses, and we are
afraid to let them go because we're afraid, if we let that
vigilance go, if we upgrade that believe, we're just going to
recreate the trauma. The chances that you are making
your life worse by shrinking, your experiences to try to stay
safe. Is greater than the possibility
that that trauma will reoccur. So, being so rigid with yourself
out of fear, of a possibility of a trauma is making your life
worse. There is another possibility.
And that is to pluck from the trauma, the true learning which
usually includes. Sometimes some people some
situations, not all people, all the time, all situations.
So is it true that you mess up everything all the time?
So it's better not to do anything.
Is that true? And is that belief making your
life better? Is it true?
That Will Smith said, kick a chicken with it.
Is it true that Jimi? Hendrix said Excuse me while I
kiss this guy? No.
So if you could believe something else that is as true
or more true, that actually opens up your life.
So what if it's what is true is that you have sometimes messed
up some things, but that you can learn new ways of discerning
who's trustworthy, you can learn new ways of moving through space
so that you mess up. The fewer things.
Or you can learn that the people who taught you that you mess up
everything. All of the time, we're very
damaged, people who are blaming you for things that weren't your
fault. Is it true?
and generally, if it's a belief that's causing you or other
people harm, it's worth upgrading Go check out a
misheard lyrics website, remind yourself that even if you've
believed something for years, it doesn't mean it's true.
And just because you believe it it doesn't mean it's helpful and
you are more than the sum of your beliefs, okay, question
your beliefs, replace them with ones that are more helpful.
All right. That's the mini episode for
today. Just just popping in here.
To give you. That little reminder, just
because it occurs inside your head, doesn't mean you have to
listen. All right.
You're beautiful and amazing. Amazing true story.
You really in fact are beautiful and amazing in all kinds of
ways. So how about adopting that
belief, I am beautiful and amazing and all kinds of ways
that's a good one. What would that create in your
life? If you walk through the day,
believing, you know what a beautiful and amazing and all
kinds of ways and whole perfect, and complete.
And the universe is trying to gift.
Me all kinds of goodies. Try that one on.
Versailles, see how it goes. All right, beautiful humans
until next time.