Hello beautiful humans, and welcome to the Mental Wellness
Wake Up Show. A weekly podcast where?
Growthminded, creative people come to learn best practices.
From both spirituality. And psychology that create
lasting wellbeing. I am your host, mental Wellness
expert, improvised acting teacher, therapist and coach
Dawn McMillan. Let's get to it.
Hello. Hello.
I am so glad you are here and if you are joining us for the
first. Time welcome.
It is a delight to have you here and you are an excellent company
this. Community is made-up of.
Truly lovely. Amazing, wonderful people.
So even if you don't know them in person, know that there are
people all around the world. Literally.
Who are sharing this moment with you as we all strive towards
being our favorite version of ourselves.
So welcome and to. All my.
Returning listeners, here's a virtual hug for you.
Thank you for being here. Your time is.
Precious. And you're spending it with me.
And I am. Truly honored.
So we're in our enniogram. Series, which if you're.
Joining us just now. You don't have to listen to the
other ones, but I. Highly recommend that you do.
The enniogram. Is A9 pointed wisdom system?
Which is most? Commonly used as a.
Personality typing we. Started.
In the. Triad at the top of the.
Circle 8 nines and ones and eight nines and ones are.
Characterized by their relationship to anger.
To managing their anger so today.
We are jumping. Into our enniogram ones.
Woohoo. So I will be.
Shuffling some papers around, so just bear with me if you would
be so kind so that I can. Pull some, pull from a couple of
different. Sources So who?
Are our anyogram. Ones.
The first thing you have to say about an anyogram 1.
Is that every team needs one, hehe pun intended.
Every team needs an anyogram 1. I will tell you why.
Here's. The names.
That are used. To describe the.
Enneagram one the. Reformer.
The teacher. The activist.
The crusader. The moralist.
The perfectionist. The.
Organizer so ones are at their. Best.
When they are at their best and they are ethical, reliable,
productive, wise, idealistic, fair.
Honest. Orderly.
And self disciplined, yes. Yes.
We want those. Ones around us, they.
Keep us. On our toes, however, when a one
is under stress when they're unevolved.
When they have. Their unresolved trauma.
At their worst. Ones can be.
Judgmental, inflexible, dogmatic, obsessive, compulsive.
Critical of others overly serious.
Controlling, anxious, jealous. So ones have so.
Many. Beautiful gifts to.
Offer the trouble. That ones have for the most part
is that that ability. To strive for perfection.
To see how things could be sometimes becomes a.
Very blunt instrument of. Very.
Unwieldy weapon, that. They use against themselves and
others. So ones always have to strike
this wonderful. Balance this tricky.
Balance of looking for the ideal.
For working towards getting things right.
Without beating themselves up when they.
Can't make that. Level of perfection.
Or becoming a harasser. Of others for not.
Living up to their ideals, so for ones.
We're going. To be going.
Back and forth. Between Resale Hudson.
And Baron. Wigelli systems.
Those are different authors of different enneogram
explorations, so. In the resale Hudson, they
identify the basic fear. Of an enneogram one is it being.
Bad. Defective.
Evil. Corrupt.
That's their basic fear of being bad.
Of being bad, not. Necessarily only doing.
Bad but being bad, their basic desire to be good, virtuous, in
balance and to. Have integrity.
So the message that that. Plays in their in their minds,
their super ego message is going to.
Be you are. Good are okay.
If you. Do what is right?
So when you think about some, some ones.
That you might. Know.
You're going to. Appreciate.
That they're the ones who who just keep going until the.
Job is done. They're the ones who.
Organize the shopping list by geography so.
That when you're out running errands, you do it in the.
Cleanest, most efficient way possible?
Any agram ones. Really are essential.
To anyone's team. And as I mentioned.
Before the The challenge that they struggle with is.
Just. Using that intellect, that
wisdom, that discernment. Against themselves and.
Others. So let's talk about what?
The 9:00. Levels that the.
Enneagram one. Can go through Ah.
Before we do that, let's talk about the relationship to anger.
So we divided. The Enneagram up.
For this. High level, High level birdseye.
View. Of the anagram into.
Three groups of three. There are many more ways.
To divide the anagram up, but we're doing the initial three
groups of three. So 8 nines and ones are
considered. The gut group, The body group,
The the the people who? Operate a lot on instinct and
just what they know in their bones.
And are often. Characterized by their
relationship to anger. Whereas anyogram.
Eights will often act out their anger they'll express.
It if an anyogram 8 is upset with you, you will know it
anyogram nines. Their relationship to anger is
to suppress it. They're working very hard at
all. Times to keep.
The peace inside. And outside, so they're they're
the. Can't we all just get?
Along people. So their relationship.
To anger is to just. Bottle it up.
Unless and until you cross the line with them, and then you
will see a version of them that you probably will never want to
see again. And then with our or anyogram
ones. They are using their.
That that anger as fuel. They use it as fuel.
It's that the. Fire that.
Keeps them on. That perfectionist track, the
fire that. Keeps them going to get.
It right and if you're suspecting that there.
Are a lot of. Anyogram on entrepreneurs.
You would be correct. So let's talk.
About unhealthy, Unhealthy. Versions or levels of.
Being in an. Aagram one so at level 9. 9
being below. Our beautiful Aagram.
Ones can be condemnatory and punitive.
They realization that they've lost control of themselves and
are doing the very things. They.
Cannot tolerate another's. Is too much for unhealthy ones.
They try to rid themselves of the apparent cause of their
obsessions in themselves. Others.
Or the environment. Possibly resulting in self
mutilation, murder, or suicide. OK, that's really.
Extreme, but we can we. Can think about?
This condemnation as. Being.
That level of perfectionism, that fire of anger.
Turned deeply inwards. And when that becomes
intolerable, turned. Outwards, so at level. 8 and
unhealthy and a gram one is going to.
Be. Obsessive and contradictory.
Areso, Hudson says. Ones are so.
Desperate to defend. Themselves from their irrational
desires and impulses that they become obsessed with the very
parts of themselves they want to control.
They begin to act. Out all of their repressed
desires. While publicly continuing to
condemn them, they cannot stop themselves.
So this. If you're hearing that,
contradictory. That hypocrisy.
These are the. People who?
Talk about those. Good for nothing, so and So's.
But secretly they're doing the exact same behavior.
And you can understand how this would be.
Very self tormenting, very painful.
For the Aneagram ones. And also very painful for the
people. Around them.
As they they they speak and. Act out of condemnation.
Level 7 self-righteous and flexible.
One's fear that their ideals may actually be.
Wrong which may be. True, to save their self-image,
they attempt to justify themselves and silence
criticism. They are closedminded and allow
no compromises or negotiations. In their positions they are
bitter, misanthropic. And highly self-righteous.
I am. I'm biting my tongue right now
because I want to make a highly a highly controversial statement
which I'm going to avoid but insert.
Political ideology here. So.
When people are being self-righteous and.
Inflexible. They're so.
Convinced. They're so they, so desperately.
Want to be? Right.
And they're. So afraid that they are.
Wrong. That they get really.
Kind of. Bitter and really.
Self-righteous and they judge. Other people.
Like if you. Could see my face right now.
I'm just making this little. Pinched face.
These are like. The pinched faces.
Of the world who always look like they just bit on a bitter
lemon. So that's when ones are.
Being really unhealthy. And if you're sitting here and
you're thinking like we'll screw them, if you're not a one,
please know that in my opinion. In my opinion are are any of
Graham one. Friends are often.
The ones. Who suffer the most from their
own way of being, if that makes any sense.
That beautiful gift. Of knowing that things can be.
Beautiful and good. And correct and and right and.
Full of. That essence of wonderfulness,
knowing that and not being able. To achieve that.
Can be a source of pain for them, so let's.
Not judge our unhealthy. Are unhealthy ones too harshly?
Because they are really. Suffering themselves.
OK. Moving on average.
Ones for 5:00 and 6:00. Levels Level 6.
Judgmental. Critical ones are.
Afraid that others will mess up. The order and.
Balance that they have achieved and they.
Are angry. That others.
Do not. Take their ideals.
As seriously, they react by reproaching.
And correcting others for not living up to their own
standards. They are perfectionistic,
opinionated, sarcastic. Moving up level 5.
Selfcontrolled orderly. One's worried that others will.
Condemn them. For any deviation.
From their ideals, having argued their.
Points of view ones are now. Applied to live up to it at all
times, so they try to rigorously organize themselves.
And their world. They're punctual and methodical,
but also irritable and tense. So that's at level 5 level Level
4, right? Here in the middle.
Kenny Graham ones. Present as obligated.
And striving ones begin to. Fear that others.
Are indifferent. To their principles, so they.
Want to convince? Others of the rightness of their
viewpoint. They become serious.
And driven to debating others and remedying.
Problems while evaluating. Their world and pointing out
what is wrong with things. So you can you can start to
hear. And as.
We're moving up. This level of.
Emotional. Maturity and emotional.
Health. The gift that.
Having that anneagram ones. Have to offer others.
Because they are finding the. Problems.
They're able. To say they're able to see.
They're able to. See the?
Flaws in the. System and they.
Are eager to be a part of what makes it better.
OK, Level 3. So we're moving into healthy
levels, emotional. Levels for anneagram ones and.
What we're talking. About these levels, You're not.
They are not. Absolute.
Depending on how? Stressed you are and what
circumstances of life you were in.
You're going to go up and down. It's not like.
You achieve healthy. Level 1, Level 1.
And. That's it.
You're fixed for life, right? We're we're.
All. Everything.
We're all multitudinous and so sometimes when we're.
Super under stress. We can.
Act like. A less enlightened.
Version of ourselves and then sometimes when we're well.
Resourced. We are the highest and best.
OK. Level 3.
Principled, responsible ones reinforce their self.
Image by trying to. Live their lives in.
Accordance with your. Consciences and with reason.
They're highly ethical and selfdisciplined and possess a
strong sense of. Purpose and conviction.
Truthful. And articulate they.
Teach by example. Putting aside personal desires
for the greater good. Putting aside personal.
Desires for the greater good. These are the people who will
sacrifice themselves for duty because it is the right thing to
do. Level 2.
Evaluating reasonable ones. Focus on the.
Dictates of their super egos. For those of you not familiar
with Freudian language. You have the Super.
Ego the ego and the aid. the Super ego being your conscience
rules regulations, the ego being your personality.
And the aid. Being your your urges and
drives. So one focuses on the.
Dictates. Of their super egos consciences
to. Guide them in life and defend
them from the. Disordered parts of themselves,
their self images. I am sensible, moderate.
And objective and. Then level 1.
Accepting wise once, let go with the belief that they are in a
position to judge anything objectively and are.
Able to approach. Life without emotionally
reacting. To it.
They also. Paradoxically achieve.
Their basic desire. To have integrity and be.
Good. As a result of their self.
Actualization. They become wise, discerning,
accepting, hopeful, and often noble.
When I think about this, this person.
This this level. One, there's actually a
specific. Person that I have in mind and
it's. Richard Rohr who?
Is a contemplative Catholic teacher.
I. Don't know him.
Personally. So I'm going on his public
persona. But there is this sense.
Of this emotional maturity, this sense of.
Acceptance. The sense.
Of longing for and striving. Towards what is.
Good and kind and just without being emotionally reactive.
It's really quite. Noble.
When you think of someone who's noble, this this might.
Be the the. Person The type of person that
you're thinking of. So our whole point in exploring
this Enneagram isn't. Necessarily to identify
ourselves or others sidebar. Be careful about identifying
others. You can't.
Always know. You don't know what people's.
Hidden lives are. Like you only.
Know how they present to you, but the.
Reason why we're going through. This is.
To discover what? We.
Can learn from all of the Enneagram.
Types because we. Are all we.
All are all of them. We all have different.
Aspects of these personality types.
Within US so when you hear that, that a one is.
Ethical, reliable, productive, wise, idealistic, fair.
Honest, Orderly. Selfdisciplined.
Let us look to our own lives. And say how can I get in touch?
With that inner aniagram 1. How can I?
Lean into my self. Discipline and service.
Of that which is good for myself and others.
How can I lightly? Hold the ideal while accepting
what is. How can I?
Use my discernment. And hold on to my hopefulness,
so yeah. Now you know I said every every
group needs an an aniagram 1. Because they're kind of the
bomb. So ANYAGRAM ones, you're If you
are on ANYAGRAM ANYAGRAM 1, your advice is to lighten up.
A little bit. Go have some.
Fun in the language of the anyagram it's going to be about.
Being more like a. 7 to integrate your lean into
integrating your anyagram 7. But Don, we haven't covered the.
Anyagram 7 yet I know. We'll get there.
But you want. To find playfulness.
So if you. Are an Aneagram 1.
You want to, you want. To find your playfulness, you
want to lighten up a little bit. You might go do something silly.
Like, I don't know, improv or something because your
commitment. To.
What is good and right and fair and just can make.
You a little dour it. Can really bring you down and it
can set that inner critic. The inner critic Voice of yours.
On OverDrive, so you want to. Get that little voice to pipe
down a little. Bit and one of the ways to do
that is to make. Sure you have.
Fun as a daily nutrient. So that's our Eniagram.
One's amazing, right? So one of the things I love
about the eniagram. Is it?
Helps me to. Appreciate the different
personality. Types I encounter.
Like ideally, ideally. You would.
Love an organization that. Had at least.
One of each of these. Types that we're going over
because of the gifts. That they bring.
You know. A group.
Of only any of gram nines, we get nothing done.
They'd be too. Busy nourishing their.
Creature Comforts. And trying to keep peace with
everyone, A group of only any of grammates would be too
argumentative. As they were standing up for
their principles, if it was all just.
Any of gram ones that they might get paralyzed by their inner
critics and not be. Able to accept others points of
view so. We want to integrate.
All of. These into ourselves.
So I invite. You this week.
I invite. You this week.
To one if you know an enneagram 1.
Be grateful. Be grateful.
And let them. Lean into.
Their strengths? Fair.
Honest. Orderly.
Selfdisciplined. Let them lean into their
strengths. Right?
You want an Enneagram? One is your gym, your workout?
Partner, For example, by your study partner.
And then for. Ourselves.
Just meditate. On can I get in touch?
Can I get in touch with my Enneagram 1 characteristics and
apply them in my life when that? Is the gift that would be most
helpful. All right.
So I'm just going to. Check my notes.
Here and see. If there's anything else that I
want to touch. On she would be do wah.
She would be do wah. Well, here's a note from Carl
Rogers. Or a quote rather.
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am.
Then I can change. Here's another good one.
Marcus Borg wisdom. Is not just.
About moral. Behavior but about the center
the place. From which moral perception and
moral? Behavior flow, Ah.
I love that. My hypothesis is that.
What we are all trying to do with this?
Any of your ground. So if you haven't looked at the
diagram yet. Google and eogram.
ENNEAGR AM. And it's a circle.
With all these. Points around.
This the circumference around the periphery.
It is my belief that the enniogram, the enniogram wisdom
system, is guiding us to be towards that center.
The place from which moral perception?
And moral behavior flow to be. All.
Of the personality types and. Able to fluidly.
Move amongst them as the situation dictates.
All right. It's a little long.
It's a little. Long thank you for staying with
me. Thank you for being here.
Thank you for liking. Sharing and subscribing.
That's how the podcast grows. And my friends.
We are. Growing.
How exciting is that? And I wish.
You a week. Of fairness, equanimity, and
goodness. And you know why?
Because you deserve it. You really do.
You, beloved friend, are whole. Perfect and complete.
Just the way you are. And you are allowed to change if
you so choose and you. Are allowed.
To not and you are worthy and deserving of a.
Life so gorgeous. That it transcends even your own
imagination. Until next time.
I am so honored that you share time with me.
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Thank you so much. See you next time.