1 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:11,320 You say she's so sweet, man, come on. 2 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,880 A little rapper lit me like a lollipop. 3 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:26,320 Lollipop, Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop. 4 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:33,480 Welcome back to Candyland. So we are back to weekly 5 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:36,480 episodes. We're bringing in the questions, 6 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:40,080 the themes, and we still want to hear from you all. 7 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:44,600 So don't forget, if a crazy story or something happens, send 8 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:50,120 it to us@lollipoppodcast.com. It'll come directly to both of 9 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,800 us. And that way we can Share your 10 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,760 story. We could share our perspective 11 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,600 on it. We can keep you anonymous and 12 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,160 all of those goodies. I always just keep saying, like, 13 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,600 you and I are just two totally different. 14 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,160 We just handle things totally different and see things 15 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,360 differently. So to like get people's 16 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,240 different stories and their perspectives on things because I 17 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,200 think I'm the one who like handles things more 18 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,800 aggressively. But it seems like the things 19 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,160 that like I really give a fuck about, you're like, I don't 20 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,240 really care about that. And then if I'm like, I don't 21 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,920 really care. You're like, oh, let me tell you 22 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:27,480 something. I do think that's true, True. 23 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,960 I do think that a lot of people don't realize what we're going 24 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,640 to be talking about on this podcast because I've had 25 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,080 different people, you know, say like, I really wasn't expecting 26 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,240 it to be as dynamic or as in depth as it is. 27 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,360 But I recently had one of my guy friends say that they turned it 28 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,040 on at the construction site and everyone was listening to it and 29 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,200 he was like, and multiple people were like, that's really funny. 30 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,760 Who is that? Who are those people talking? 31 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,360 And I thought that was so cool. That is cool. 32 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:01,600 It's interesting too, because like we're able to connect with 33 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,640 a lot of different people who have a lot of different belief 34 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,800 systems and personalities and whatnot. 35 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:12,200 And I think again, because our personalities are so versatile. 36 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:17,400 Yeah, I do think that a lot of people don't know if this is 37 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,280 going to be like a gossip type podcast or like a shit talking 38 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:25,160 podcast or feminism, you know, fuck men podcast. 39 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,720 I feel like there's like a couple different arenas for the 40 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,680 female lead podcast, but they're all falling into some category 41 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,600 like that unless they're interviewing guests and then 42 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,800 it's all over the place. But I think that it's really 43 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:45,080 hard in any arena to find balance with things like my 44 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,400 nails are very balanced right now. 45 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:51,000 I got clowns on there finding balance between like 2 46 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:57,320 personalities, 2 work ethics, 2 styles, 2 goals. 47 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,520 You know, two people trying to meet their goals. 48 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,120 It's just it's really unique to be able to do that with anyone 49 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,800 or anything, to be honest. Yeah. 50 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,640 I, I think something that works really good with our dynamic too 51 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:15,400 is I don't take direction from many people or like or, yeah, 52 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,680 collaborate on the same level with many people. 53 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,600 It's usually like I'm in the position where like I'm 54 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,040 employing somebody or I'm having something happen or whatever. 55 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:29,720 But you and I with our dynamic, I respect your opinion and your 56 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,480 what your goal for the podcast and things is and for our brand 57 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,360 in general. So you're one of the few people 58 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,440 who's able to be like, hey, Jim, like, you know, this is the 59 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,960 energy we're needing or this is the energy, you know, this is 60 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,280 the lesson that's being learned right now or this is the way 61 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,960 that like you can look at that differently or whatever. 62 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:52,120 And I think that that mutual respect and, and openness that 63 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,360 we have in our friendship really translates to the podcast. 64 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,320 And a lot of people don't have that inside of their friend 65 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:02,520 circles or people in their life where, you know, I don't have to 66 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:06,720 worry if you say something to me that that's like the end of our 67 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,680 friendship or something. And for a bitch with abandonment 68 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,920 issues, which has been like a wound that's been coming up, 69 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,640 like I, I appreciate that. I feel like one thing of that 70 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,519 I'm doing really well that translates into what you're 71 00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:25,480 saying is I let people do what they want to do, even if I'm not 72 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,200 like in agreeance or like I'm not. 73 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,880 What do I want to say? Like I choose to just let people 74 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,080 run their course as long as they're not swerving into my 75 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,720 car, into my lane. Like I let people coexist on 76 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,640 their level of understanding or their level of intention or 77 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,600 whatever they want to focus on. And I feel like what I have 78 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,840 learned is like when you get someone to do something because 79 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,400 you want them to do it, it's always short lived. 80 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,800 Like it's like, oh, I cleaned the house for you today. 81 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,200 Get off my back or I cut the grass this one time. 82 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,280 Like if you try to get people to do things, I've learned that 83 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,480 that is not the approach to get results. 84 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,600 Like the biggest thing that I have learned is just letting it 85 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,400 be like letting things run their course, letting things work 86 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:20,440 themselves out, letting things go without direct control or 87 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,520 dominion or trying to like control or understand things. 88 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:30,280 I feel like lately I've just been like letting things below I 89 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:33,480 guess around me without taking it personal or feeling like oh, 90 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,080 this is affecting me now I'm gonna be upset or project back 91 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,800 to this person. Like I've just been like 92 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,600 allowing people to be them without having like conditions 93 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,240 or rules or guidelines. Like I can tell people what I 94 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,000 think they should do or what I would do, but I don't care if 95 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,440 they do that, you know what I mean? 96 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,560 Like I feel like I want you to think this through, but also at 97 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,440 the same time like trying to tell someone what to do is what 98 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:02,680 I think led me down empty broken roads in the past. 99 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:09,160 I think that there's something to letting people be themselves 100 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,080 and if people are operating in their highest sense of like 101 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,920 right and good and they're making choices that are like 102 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,680 they feel like are for their best and it's not something 103 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,560 that's like, you know, them just being like self-destructive and 104 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:28,360 going off the rails and whatever, then that is easier. 105 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:32,240 For me, that has helped a lot with like not having to control 106 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,520 things by just being like, people are free humans to do the 107 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,480 things that work for them. And everybody has the 108 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,960 opportunity to handle their own situations. 109 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:47,480 And I've learned a lot that, you know, I, I used to be really 110 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,280 judgmental about things. I expected things to go a 111 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:54,480 certain way, people to act and react in specific ways and, and 112 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,200 do certain things because, well, that should just be what's 113 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,800 expected of them. And then I found myself in 114 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,920 positions where I had judged other people for being in or I 115 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,680 had had an opinion on how XY and Z should go. 116 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,800 I'm in that position. And I'm like, well, I'm 117 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,840 definitely not handling it the way that I thought that this 118 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,080 situation should be handled because you don't know till 119 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,280 you're in it. And you know, every situation 120 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,480 and everything that you have like has a logical reaction, 121 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,520 which is, you know, somebody on the outside can logic through 122 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,960 things. People inside of situations have 123 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,960 the emotional aspect, have their own intuition going off for 124 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,080 their own various reasons and and whatever. 125 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:40,600 So yeah, something I have really worked hard on is understanding 126 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,400 that people are their own individual free beings to make 127 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,360 the choices and decisions. And as long as somebody's making 128 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,600 those choices from their highest sense of good, that's like, I 129 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,600 mean, that's the best that they can do. 130 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,120 Yeah, that's what I think has really led to a lot of 131 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:03,560 transformation for me is because in the past I would be like, Oh 132 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,240 no, I care about this person. I want them to do good. 133 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,760 I want them to move forward and be on the track that I think 134 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,640 they should be on. But in that now it's like 135 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,640 forcing things isn't going to get you what you want. 136 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,960 All right, so this is the portion where we're going to 137 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:26,680 read questions that have been brought in by you guys. 138 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:35,000 If your past self could see where you are today, what would 139 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:40,600 shock them the most? I honestly think what could 140 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,600 shock me the most, just growing up in an environment that was 141 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:49,480 strictly like partying and drinking and like, that's what I 142 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,760 grew up with. That's what like everyone I know 143 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:55,480 did in their free time. I think that what would shock 144 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,720 the younger version of me the most is that I am truly more 145 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:04,520 happy without substances and alcohol and like extracurricular 146 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:09,560 activities than I ever was in that space. 147 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:14,160 But also, I don't think that that version of me could see 148 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:21,040 like how much peace closing that chapter would bring me and how 149 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:26,000 much happiness that I actually was overlooking or not 150 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:31,040 experiencing due to the ups and downs of, you know, continuous 151 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:36,760 like drug and alcohol abuse. So I think that looking back at 152 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:40,960 a younger version of me, that they would be most shocked that 153 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,920 I'm choosing to fill my days and my free time and my enjoyment 154 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,840 with things other than drinking or partying or or that type of 155 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,600 stuff. I love that like you found joy 156 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,920 in other places where you couldn't see it before. 157 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,360 Yeah, I just grew up in an environment that was always 158 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,960 centered around like alcohol and like marijuana and just like 159 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,360 partying, like partying for fun, partying for a celebration, like 160 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,800 just parties, you know, like, and I was just exposed to that 161 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:14,120 at such a young age that I don't, I personally don't know a 162 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:19,960 lot of adults even to this day that are like 50 plus that don't 163 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:24,880 use alcohol or drugs as like a chill time or like a wind down 164 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,440 thing, you know what I mean? Like I feel like that era of 165 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,400 people, like they're still stuck in that loop period. 166 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,480 Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, like most like 50 to 65 167 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,280 year olds I feel like have substance abuse issues, like 168 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,320 whether it's alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, whatever it 169 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,360 may be. Like that's the addiction era 170 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,200 that they pass that on to us. Yeah, I get that. 171 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,800 We feel, and then I feel like our generation is waking up and 172 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,240 teaching their kids like, hey, you know, like this. 173 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,800 There's things that are different now, like you don't 174 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,320 need to do these things or you could die from these things or 175 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,920 whatever. I feel like the dynamic is 176 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:04,040 shifting and kids are not growing up instantly being 177 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,680 surrounded by that like. Yeah, I agree. 178 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:09,960 There's a there's a way different mindset around things 179 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,920 now than when we were kids. Yes. 180 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,680 So questions for you. Yep, ask me a question. 181 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,600 What's a lesson that you are actively still learning even 182 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,440 though you thought you had mastered it? 183 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:31,920 Like I said, abandonment issues have been like a real 1 and I 184 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:37,280 feel like knowing that I've got me and can take care of things 185 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:46,320 regardless of people around has been a huge a lesson And like 186 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:50,400 understanding and knowing like my own value and what I bring to 187 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,680 things. Growing up was really weird 188 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:59,040 because there wasn't a lot of like positive affirmation. 189 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:03,200 It was only being spoken to like when I was doing wrong. 190 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,440 And like, my parents have acknowledged that now that like, 191 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,280 I'm an adult, but when people are only pointing out things 192 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,200 that you're doing wrong or ways that you're being inconvenient 193 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:16,880 or whatever, then like as an adult, you know, I like have to 194 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,440 really work through being like, OK, I'm not inconvenient for 195 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,720 this. Or I don't need to just sit here 196 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,680 and like, listen, I can actually have conversation and contribute 197 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,320 something. My opinion does matter. 198 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,680 Or, you know, what I have to say is an intelligent thing to throw 199 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,440 into this conversation and is not, you know, a misplaced 200 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,640 moment. So I think that's the thing that 201 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:43,040 I'm still working through that's been coming up a lot recently 202 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,520 for me. Do you think that that shows up 203 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,920 like trying to be like a business owner 'cause you have 204 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,280 to like navigate your own highs and lows without that like 205 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:57,160 consistency of income Or like, I think what has been a huge 206 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:01,320 dynamic for our generation is like so many people are wanting 207 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,200 to become business owners, but we actually were not taught any 208 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,560 of those skills because we're coming from a generation who's 209 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:11,920 like, work a job till you hate, till you die or else you will 210 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,640 starve. And so with my parents, I've 211 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,560 noticed like they're starting to break generational things 212 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,800 because I am, because I'm choosing to set better 213 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,680 boundaries or choosing to be like, I'm not just productivity 214 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,520 or not just getting shit done. Like I'm not just worthy of love 215 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,560 or support if I'm getting shit done because I feel like that's 216 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:36,760 what translated from their parents to them. 217 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,720 Like you're only worthy with what you bring to the table, or 218 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,040 you're only worthy of your money, or you're only worthy if 219 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,960 you're able bodied or you know what I mean? 220 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,920 Like those things I feel like are embedded into people 221 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,480 collectively in a collective space. 222 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:54,600 I do think that business wise, I think that there's been a lot of 223 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:59,720 shift recently. You know, I was overproducing 224 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:06,160 things for a long time because I, I fucking hated my life and 225 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,160 working was, you know, the, the people that we have like in our 226 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,080 community space or listen to the podcast or whatever was really 227 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:17,560 the only like support that I was getting inside of my life. 228 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:24,280 And then now I have so much more like support for my business and 229 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,240 what I do and me as a person than I feel like I've ever 230 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,400 really had. And that is a huge adjustment. 231 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:37,040 And yeah, I totally think that things affect business that, you 232 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,880 know, happen personally or whatever, and finding that 233 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,720 balance matters. There's also like, you know, 234 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:50,680 when you are at a job that somebody else owns, you have a 235 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,120 list of what your jobs are, what your responsibilities are, you 236 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,360 know, you know, ABC and D that you're going to be doing. 237 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:01,560 And if things come up that get in the way and prevent you from 238 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,880 being able to do that, it's not your company. 239 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,600 Somebody else has it handled with us owning our own business. 240 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,040 If something comes up, we're like, you know, we want to do 241 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,560 this idea or have this go, we have to fund that that's coming 242 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,640 from us. Like the amount of money that we 243 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,800 have to put in even just like my e-mail platform, like even just 244 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:25,160 for me to have Google business, I have to pay so odd dollars a 245 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,920 month just to be able to have the e-mail that I have and be 246 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,200 able to have other people on, on e-mail. 247 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,360 So like, there's just so many things that come up in business 248 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,880 that we're not told about. It's not discussed. 249 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:42,320 And for us doing business on social media, not only are we 250 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,920 having to learn this and, and, and battle and, you know, figure 251 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,320 it out, but then we also have people's opinions on the things 252 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:54,040 that we're doing and, you know, outside advices and, you know, 253 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,960 people who we bring in, who, you know, we want to support them 254 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,000 and, and have them help our business. 255 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,560 And we get jaded by that, and it doesn't look good for our brand. 256 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,360 And we have to, you know, go and do damage control. 257 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:10,200 Like there's so many things that go on that nobody's ever going 258 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,480 to see that we could not fucking predict. 259 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,720 Yeah, I feel like you have done really well at like inviting 260 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:21,520 people in to help you and seeing like what what waters you're 261 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,440 treading over there are not safe because I have not had to 262 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,680 experience like I'm living vicariously through all the 263 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,160 leeches that kind of come into your world and they're like, 264 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,720 hey, let me help everyone or whatever. 265 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,760 Like we've talked about. I feel like I have a wall up 266 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,400 with that. Like I'm very much like, I'll do 267 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,320 what I can and everything else won't get done. 268 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,560 Like that's where I'm at with it. 269 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,720 Like I'll do what I can and I'm like, I'm just going to be 270 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,640 honest. I'm at this point where like 271 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,280 I've outgrown certain aspects of my business. 272 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:56,640 Like I've outgrown some of the things that I thought were 273 00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:00,400 sustainable and they're not really sustainable. 274 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,640 And my thing is like, shout out to the Ogs on Patreon. 275 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:09,319 But like the thing about Patreon that I just like want to expose 276 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:13,079 everyone to is like they they've taken more fees, they've 277 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:17,000 increased their operating cost and I've never been able to do a 278 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,520 price increase on there. And they have these new features 279 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:24,599 where I can, but I being a people pleaser is like, no, but 280 00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:26,280 they've been on there for four years. 281 00:17:26,319 --> 00:17:28,560 Like I don't want to take that away from them. 282 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:34,480 So if you're on my OG like Patreon $50 reading you better 283 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,680 never cancel because every time someone cancels I remove an 284 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,320 available spot. No one gets to take that spot, 285 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,680 it disappears. And when that tear disappears 286 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,960 it's increasing to 100. So y'all better just lock in 287 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:50,920 tight on that because I just feel like so many things that 288 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,720 were sustainable four years ago are not any longer. 289 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:59,840 And I have to stop feeling bad about elevating myself by trying 290 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,640 to like keep everybody on schedule or keep everybody in 291 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,720 tune. Like it's just really crazy how 292 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,120 these platforms and Netflix and everywhere else has price 293 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,880 increases and no one bats an eye. 294 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,400 But then I'm paying more processing, I'm paying more this 295 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,360 internet's more, whatever it may be. 296 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,440 And people think like, oh, you know, she's getting paid to do 297 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,040 readings. Like it's basically free. 298 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:26,600 No, it's a lot. And you know, like I said, with 299 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,400 everything, there's so many people that come in and make 300 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,760 promises and all that. So I'm just at this point where 301 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,440 it's like I'll do what I can do and the rest will not get done. 302 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,080 Like I'm not adding anything extra. 303 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,200 Like I just can't and I'm not going to. 304 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,880 And I used to feel like that was me like sleeping on my gifts or 305 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,240 not utilizing my gifts. But I'm at this point where you 306 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,040 better get a reading while you can because there's a very near 307 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,920 future moment where I'm only taking select clients and I 308 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,840 won't be offering it to the masses anymore because I just 309 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,280 like I'm moving away from that. And I'm not saying that to like 310 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,200 pump up my head. I just know I've evolved past 311 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,920 some things I've been doing and I just don't know how to pivot 312 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:12,800 without leaving people out or making someone upset so I'm like 313 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:18,080 fuck fuck. That just, you're kind of, you 314 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,280 talked about the, you know, I have people who come in and are 315 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,720 like leeches about things. And then you were talking about, 316 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,280 about Patreon. And it just made me think like, 317 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:31,160 that is true. And I, I have been doing a lot 318 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,200 of like processing and assessing. 319 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,840 Like why is it that I get so many people inside of like my 320 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:41,280 life or business who do take advantage of things and it is me 321 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,680 leaving an open door. It is me not having a firm 322 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,600 boundary with things. And it goes down to the point of 323 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:52,200 like, you know, I'll have people who are on, you know, my a top 324 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,800 tier that I have on Patreon where we have like the chat or 325 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,520 something. And they're like, hey, my 326 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,600 subscription fell through, but I'm paying, you know, next week 327 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,600 and whatever. Can I stay in the chat? 328 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,760 And I'm like, yeah, no problem. And then they, you know, they're 329 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,560 in there for the week or whatever. 330 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,640 And then they just cancel their whole subscription and. 331 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,480 And I'm like, well, that was a week of you getting like free 332 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,560 shit, you know, free, you know, whatever work we're doing inside 333 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,480 of the chat or conversation or support or whatever. 334 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:25,200 And even if it's not much, it's a lot to me, you know what I 335 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,960 mean? Like that's a promise made. 336 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,960 That's me extending energy that like basically it's just free 337 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,680 energy just going out the fucking window. 338 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:38,280 And I think about that now and all of these different areas 339 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:43,840 where I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of because I 340 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,680 do that, whereas I should have the firm boundary of, yeah, I 341 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,720 like you, but this is business, you know? 342 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,080 And if you didn't pay your subscription, I'm sorry, I got 343 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,120 to remove you. I can add you back in, but those 344 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:59,320 are the kinds of things that we naturally do because we care 345 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,680 about the people who are inside of our community spaces or 346 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,560 whatever. But then I am consistently 347 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,120 disappointed because, well, why did I get treated that way or 348 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,840 how come I'm being taken advantage of in this or you 349 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,760 know, you know what I mean? Like, so I see what you're 350 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:20,200 talking about with the Patreon thing, not being able to like up 351 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,400 the subscriptions, the amounts and stuff. 352 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,480 That's why I have multiple different tiers because I wanted 353 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:32,480 to raise, you know, the cost of it and wasn't able to. 354 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,400 So I'm like, let me just create a different tier. 355 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,000 But when you create a different tier, then you have to offer 356 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,640 more because you're charging more than was on the tier 357 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,960 before. So the way that you're doing it 358 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,480 is super smart to limit the spots every time and then have 359 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,000 people like you have to join this, you know, $100 tier or 360 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,440 whatever. Yeah, it's just like, I don't 361 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,120 want to complain about complaining. 362 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:58,080 It's just Patreon in itself has tacked on a lot of added costs 363 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,320 and expenses that we're not there, and so is PayPal. 364 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,520 So this year I'm no longer accepting PayPal as a payment 365 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,760 form on my website. I don't give a fuck. 366 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,520 I don't care if that upsets people, they're not going to 367 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,720 book with me because I can't use PayPal, whatever that may be. 368 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:19,080 I feel like PayPal has gotten so greedy and they keep increasing 369 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,240 the fees and they keep increasing the stuff and it's 370 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,640 just like, there's no reason that I have to be all things to 371 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,760 all people and offer payment plans and offer this and offer 372 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:29,640 that. I'm not doing all that. 373 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,840 I'm not doing all that. I'm just done keeping up with 374 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,080 all these 1090 nines and all these forms and all these 375 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,680 nonsense. So, you know, I'm really 376 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,120 grateful. But sometimes when you are the 377 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:44,880 backbone of your company, the face of your company, the brand 378 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:49,200 of your company, the marketing, the fucking banker, the just 379 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,560 everything, it can be overwhelming. 380 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,320 And I just think that I'm reaching a space of burnout 381 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,920 where I don't need an overabundance of clients. 382 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,920 I need clients who are we're going to do the work, clients 383 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:08,320 who want to put the effort in and put in there also intention 384 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:12,920 and attention to details because I feel like being all things all 385 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:18,040 people has put me into a captain save everyone position. 386 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:24,280 It's distracted me and you know, I just want everyone out there 387 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:29,240 to take control of your own life and to stop feeling like you're 388 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,040 in the back seat of your own life and like move forward with 389 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,880 persistence. But understand that things are 390 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,240 going to change. People are going to change and 391 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,360 you can't take those things personal. 392 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,640 Like as things evolve. You know, I think that another 393 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,560 thing to add to what I said earlier, younger me would be 394 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:51,080 shocked on how many people I'm at peace with letting go of like 395 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,240 just had peace with it. Like I used to reach and reach 396 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:58,160 and reach outreach for love and support and always be someone 397 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,160 that someone could count on, but never got that in return. 398 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:06,720 And now it just feels like those types of people can't even get 399 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,400 near me because I just don't have space for it. 400 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:12,920 And you shouldn't have space for it. 401 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:16,280 And people who genuinely like love you and want to be inside 402 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,280 of your life are going to step up and, and notice areas where 403 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,840 you know you're lacking or you're struggling and be able to 404 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,120 kind of pick up those pieces and fill in those areas and be there 405 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:31,120 to support you, whether that be friendship or relationship wise 406 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:34,560 or whatever else. And I just don't think that if 407 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:39,640 you I'm real big on if you have to chase it, it's not meant to 408 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,120 be yours. Like, you know, you have to have 409 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,440 hustle and momentum and Dr. behind things. 410 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,960 But if you're constantly pushing the fucking boulder up the hill, 411 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,840 you're just exhausted and hoping that you don't get squished at 412 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,000 the end. And that takes so much energy 413 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,880 and is so exhausting. And I feel like I have navigated 414 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,640 the majority all of my adult life being that person who's 415 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,280 trying to make things fit that don't fucking fit. 416 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:15,680 And one of the questions that we actually got was, have you ever 417 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,080 had a moment where everything in your life felt divinely 418 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,400 orchestrated? What happened and what did you 419 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,320 take from it? And that was, I feel like moving 420 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,320 into the house that I'm in now was like everything was supposed 421 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,920 to happen exactly the way that it did for me to get into this 422 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,240 place, for everything to fall into place, being here. 423 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,200 And that was really like the catalyst. 424 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,080 I feel like for everything changing in my life and the most 425 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,680 like positive, supportive, synchronistic way. 426 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,400 And it's not that it's not stressful. 427 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,400 There was a lot of work that had to be put into, like making it 428 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:56,000 happen and being here and whatever, but everything is 429 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,840 unfolding with that effort. If you're putting all of your 430 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,840 effort in and you're not getting anything out of it, you're 431 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,160 trying to fucking make shit happen that's not meant to be 432 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:08,280 yours. Yeah, I totally also agree. 433 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,920 Like being met with resistance or obstacles doesn't mean that 434 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:16,720 you're on the wrong path. I think whenever you inherently 435 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,760 know the path is going nowhere, like everyone has that feeling. 436 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:24,200 Like people can pretend like, oh, I invested my life savings 437 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,520 into this, or oh, I have to do this, or oh, I'm going to let 438 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,680 people down. But you knew from the start that 439 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,240 wasn't for you or you knew, you know from the beginning that 440 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,320 something actually wasn't serving you, you because the 441 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:40,280 universe was giving you signs and synchronicities that were 442 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:44,600 saying like, hey, rethink this or redo this or whatever. 443 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,320 And I always find like, especially when people are in 444 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:53,080 relationships, like with family or partners that constantly keep 445 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:57,680 them in that fear based energy, like fear of an argument, fear 446 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:02,000 of this, fear of confrontation, a fear of unworthiness or 447 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,080 whatever it may be, then you are going to continue to attract 448 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,520 that in every area of your life. And that's what I think people 449 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,520 don't understand. Like I hear a lot of women or a 450 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,320 lot of people in relationships say, like, I don't have the 451 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,800 money to do this or I don't have this or I don't have that. 452 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,400 And then I'm like, and that's keeping you trapped. 453 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,000 Those are the mindsets. Like I tell everyone, it does 454 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,560 not matter how, where, when it happens, just know that it will. 455 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,160 I don't give a fuck how no one has to tell me how to know that 456 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,000 it will. No one has to tell me when for 457 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,120 me to know it's going to happen for me, you know, and a lot of 458 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,280 people will speak fear into that. 459 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,520 A lot of people get uncomfortable when I'm in those 460 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,800 mindsets of like, it's going to be what it's going to be. 461 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:45,760 And you're you are detouring it. You are limiting yourself. 462 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,520 You're the blockage. It's not this person, it's you 463 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:52,200 letting this person block you, you know, you giving your power 464 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:53,840 to that situation or that person. 465 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:57,800 And I think that's what's unique about women in this generation 466 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:02,440 as we're taking that power back. And I read something the other 467 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,480 day that said people are so worried about actively breaking 468 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,720 generational curses that they can see. 469 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:13,040 But you just me personally had broke a generational curse by 470 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,040 not marrying someone in my 20s and getting stuck with them 471 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,120 until I'm whenever age spirit told me that they were like that 472 00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,760 was a curse that was a generational cycle that you 473 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,840 broke without even knowing you were breaking it. 474 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,520 So there's so many things that we don't see that we've already 475 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,440 broke the cycle. We're only focused on. 476 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,840 Oh, my mom's an alcoholic or my dad beat me. 477 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,440 Like, OK, let's focus on what we're doing with that 478 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,240 information and how we're evolving past that. 479 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,440 Because that person didn't deal with their pain, so they chose 480 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,320 alcohol. That person didn't deal with 481 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,120 their pain, so they chose violence. 482 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,280 It all manifests outwardly in a similar fashion. 483 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:51,800 It's just about, am I doing the work to clear this or am I 484 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,320 keeping it alive? Am I keeping it alive by 485 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,760 repeating the same pattern? Well, and that goes into, I 486 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,120 mean, we've talked about it a lot where, you know, we talk 487 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,240 about how situations that you've been through or whatever can 488 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,520 either be the reason that you grow and you evolve and you 489 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,840 learn a lesson, or they can be the reason that you stay 490 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,760 stagnant. You never grow and you never 491 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,560 evolve. You can use it as an excuse for 492 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:17,400 why everything fucking sucks, or you can use it as a motivation 493 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:21,280 for why everything is different. And, and yeah, I completely 494 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,040 agree with you. I also think too that people 495 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:29,840 don't we get so in survival mode about things, and this is 496 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,400 another thing I've been processing through. 497 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,720 It's like when you live your entire life in survival mode 498 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,840 where everything just like is coming at you and you're just 499 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,800 dealing with it. You, you kind of numb it out and 500 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,800 you just do this, all of the steps and you don't realize how 501 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,280 much you're doing, how much energy that's taking. 502 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:52,840 You know, why you are looking the way that you're looking or 503 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,960 whatever, because of all of the stress that you have on you or 504 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,960 you know, just different things that you're going through and 505 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,280 dealing with. And then when you don't 506 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,200 recognize how much you're going through, you have no 507 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,120 appreciation for what you as a human are able to tolerate and 508 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:12,400 handle and persevere through. Yeah, I completely agree with 509 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:13,520 that. Some people don't see how 510 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,760 powerful they are. I'm going to post a question for 511 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:17,880 you. OK. 512 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,320 Have you ever felt like you were living in a movie scene? 513 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,280 What was the moment and why did it feel so surreal? 514 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,400 So I've talked about this before. 515 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,080 I don't know if I've talked about it on here, but there was 516 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:39,440 a really long time of my life where I would just pretend like 517 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,400 certain things happening in my life were like a movie or were 518 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:47,880 like seasons of ATV show. And I would just handle things 519 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:52,320 the way that I would expect like my character in that moment to 520 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,600 handle something. And I would just think about 521 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,200 things as being like for a season. 522 00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,320 And so when I had like hard times that I was going through, 523 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,320 I would be like, OK, I'm going to look back on this when it 524 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,000 would be like next season. And I'm going to be like, Oh, 525 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,400 yeah, I remember when such and such happened and, and, and 526 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:13,840 then, you know, we got here. And so I've imagined many 527 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,000 fucking scenarios in my life being movie scenes. 528 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:22,360 The one that I can think of the most is when I had my son 529 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:27,280 because I it was like the most. First of all, I was basically 530 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:32,840 alone that entire time that I had him, except for like when I 531 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:37,760 actually like was in in labor, but I was in the hospital like 532 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:42,200 for three or four days. I basically got dropped off at 533 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,240 the hospital and got picked up at the hospital and like I was 534 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:50,240 by myself when like I had my C-section and stuff. 535 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,840 And that was a really scary experience. 536 00:31:53,840 --> 00:32:00,080 So I remember going into that surgery being like, OK, my 537 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,200 character totally survives this. Like if this was ATV show right 538 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,960 now, like I would absolutely survive this. 539 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,960 I'm going to look back on it and be like, oh, that was 4 episodes 540 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,600 ago. Like by the time I wake up and 541 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,920 it'll be completely fine. And that's how I got through 542 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:18,800 that whole experience. So I had a moment today where I 543 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,840 was feeling like a SIM, and then I was like, SIM stands for 544 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:27,160 simulation and we're in a simulation and I'm a SIM. 545 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,320 And then I was reading into the scenario that I was in and I 546 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:36,400 really felt like I was in, like, I am The Sims, but did you ever 547 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,160 play The Sims? Yeah. 548 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:43,760 OK, so you know the cheat code to get you all the money to 549 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:45,520 build your dream house? You didn't do that. 550 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,800 No. OK, well your girl is living 551 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,560 this experience with the cheat code. 552 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,000 It was called rosebud and you typed rosebud and did these 553 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,000 little characters like over and over again and you just the 554 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,640 money would keep going up. You never did that. 555 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:04,000 No. OK, well I really felt like I 556 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,360 was getting an expansion pack. You know, like on The Sims you 557 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,560 can use like expansion packs. Keep in mind I haven't played 558 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,840 this in like 20 years. This was all just coming back to 559 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,080 me in the car. So I really felt like I was in a 560 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:21,040 video game or in a movie or in something because I felt like 561 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:26,080 someone was like pulling on my SIM strings to get me to buy The 562 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,280 Sims. I don't know why I I've been 563 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,440 thinking about, I want to play The Sims. 564 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,880 I want to buy The Sims lately. And then it came out to me again 565 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,640 and it was like you are a SIM and I was like me. 566 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,720 Me and this simulation. That's me. 567 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,000 Yeah. So earlier today I had a moment, 568 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,480 like a deep moment of thought about that. 569 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:51,240 So have you ever seen The Truman Show? 570 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,560 Of course I've seen the Truman Show. 571 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,320 You. Think that's our reality? 572 00:33:55,720 --> 00:34:01,400 Yes, I surely do. I don't know if that. 573 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,440 Yeah, yeah, kind of. I I think that's a reality and I 574 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,520 think that there's lots of things and like how many 575 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,639 situations have you ever had right, like situations with 576 00:34:12,639 --> 00:34:16,199 other people or just situations that you've been in where you're 577 00:34:16,199 --> 00:34:20,040 looking at it, Everything's fine until one thing catches your eye 578 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,120 that's off and then you just start noticing boom, boom, boom, 579 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,480 boom, boom, like this is off, this is off, this is off, this 580 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,320 is off and it just all is about your perspective. 581 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:32,760 So I totally see in that situation, like and living as 582 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:36,520 happy life go lucky nothing going on and then notices one 583 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,679 thing is weird and then all of a sudden you're like, damn, the 584 00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:42,760 sun does look like it's just a light beaming down on me. 585 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:47,800 Or, you know, like, yeah, I I think you can break your your 586 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:51,440 illusions. You want a card? 587 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:59,720 Sure. I remember being so disappointed 588 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:03,000 because like on our end, like or at least on my end when I 589 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,200 shuffle cards, you get like the nice like shuffle ASMR. 590 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,680 So I remember one day when we were recording, I like had my 591 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,280 mic like perfectly set up and I was shuffling the deck. 592 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:15,440 But Zoom is so good about blocking out outside audio that 593 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,600 it didn't pick up. And I was like, what the fuck? 594 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,320 We got card number 9 for momentum. 595 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:29,400 We got planes in the sky. It is the sign of Sagittarius. 596 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:34,720 The gift is determination, and our shadow is inertia. 597 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,760 Such a powerful gift is bestowed upon you once you live from your 598 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,160 heart. Just as the inertia of the 599 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,320 shadow may seem immeasurable, the momentum of your 600 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,600 determination builds with equal force. 601 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:50,120 Once tapped, it is a well of depth and resource. 602 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:54,360 Suddenly each action you take is infused with purpose and 603 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,400 meaning. Because life itself carries 604 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,880 great weight and you see the profound interconnection of 605 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:03,800 every aspect of your life. Even the smallest, seemingly 606 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,200 insignificant parts of your day serve a function and a larger 607 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,880 goal. Nothing is taken for granted. 608 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,560 Determination is the powerhouse of the heart. 609 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,200 Your shadow is inertia. This shadow appears in your life 610 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,440 whenever you get caught up in unnecessary details and forget 611 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,200 the bigger picture or worse, your purpose. 612 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,240 It might feel as though you're merely getting through life 613 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:29,120 versus truly taking hold of it and living with zest. 614 00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:33,080 You might live from your mind which overtakes your being with 615 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,120 convoluted messaging and perplexing thoughts concerning 616 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:39,280 the future. This shadow can look like 617 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:43,600 reluctance, or in other words, the apparent inability to act 618 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,440 due to low frequency cycles and patterns, which is a consequence 619 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:51,160 of victim mentality. Alternatively, it could look 620 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,880 like a frenetic restlessness or an overcompensation of energy in 621 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,440 a million different directions. You forget to tune in and act 622 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,960 with intention in your daily life to sway from the shadow, 623 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,240 regain your concentration on the present moment and what you feel 624 00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:08,040 drawn to now. Attempting to bring utter 625 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:11,960 clarity to your future vision is actually adding more fog. 626 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,680 Your themes are details, determination, momentum, and 627 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,400 purpose. And then I just wanted to repeat 628 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,720 the sentence because it's literally what we just talked 629 00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:24,320 about with things can be your reason or your motivator. 630 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,920 This shadow can look like reluctance, or in other words, 631 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:32,000 the apparent inability to act due to low frequency cycles and 632 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,240 patterns. A consequence of victim 633 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:37,400 mentality. And victim mentality is the word 634 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,360 for that. Where you're like, Boo Hoo, poor 635 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,520 me, this is what I've been through and I can't possibly do 636 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,560 anything else because of all this horrible shit. 637 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,320 Everybody who has anything has been through horrible shit. 638 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:51,800 What's crazy about that that I've been finding lately is like 639 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,000 the road wall that people reach on their spiritual journey of 640 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,200 like getting readings but not following through on any. 641 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:03,720 Yeah, like, I've been really hitting that lately with people 642 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:07,360 that like, keep thinking of reading or a spell is gonna fix 643 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,640 their shit. And I like I'm starting to have 644 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:13,200 to turn people away and be like, there is no blockage. 645 00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:15,760 Like you are the blockage. You're blocking it. 646 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,160 Your mindset. Spirit told you to journal, 647 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:20,600 Spirit told you to meditate, Spirit told you to break up with 648 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,680 this person, but you are not doing those things. 649 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:26,520 So I can tell you again, I can, I can do clear it again. 650 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:30,680 But like, if you don't follow through on your end of the work 651 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:34,960 or your end of the bargain, then it's really not going to work. 652 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:39,120 So I've honestly been at a point lately where like I've just 653 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,040 straight up been asking people like, well, what's your 654 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,760 expectation with this? It's like what, what are you, 655 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,360 you know, like you need a reading. 656 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,160 You want me to put you on my schedule early? 657 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,640 What's that? What's your expectation? 658 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:53,000 Like, what do you, you know, And like recently I've had clients 659 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,920 like act like they're ready for everything and then they get on 660 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,400 to the reading and they're like soaking it in and then they'll 661 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,600 get another fucking reading. And we go through the same 662 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,800 thing. And I'm like, do you all know 663 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,200 that I can tell when you're not listening to everything they're 664 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,680 saying? Like, do you know that whenever 665 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:11,840 we tap back in, I can see that you did not do anything they 666 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:16,000 asked you to do? Like, I want you all to shine. 667 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,720 I want you to be happy. But this is the shit that 668 00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:21,880 stresses me out about readings, 'cause then I feel like, well, 669 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:27,040 if I just did this or I just did that and like, no, I don't. 670 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,000 I do my part. You've got to do your part. 671 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,680 So that's really The thing is like, we want to see everyone do 672 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,160 the work, but you've got to acknowledge where you're falling 673 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,600 short and not look around at other people. 674 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,440 Amen to that. We'll see you next time in 675 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,080 Candyland. Bye. 676 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:52,600 Uh huh. Yeah, so she's so sweet. 677 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,760 Like a lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop. 678 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:04,840 You want to live me like a lollipop, lollipop, lollipop. 679 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,960 You want to swallow my spirit and penetrate my aura? 680 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,760 Taste. All of my consciousness is 681 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,120 obvious. We're goddesses full of the 682 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:19,040 divine femininity who need masculine energy, energy, 683 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:19,920 energy.