1 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:16,400 Welcome to fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini. 2 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,320 What the fuck is up, everybody? Welcome back to Candyland. 3 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,960 So we have been talking about our special surprise for a 4 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,800 little bit of time now and we finally have a guest that we 5 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:46,400 both mutually respect and like wanted to have on the podcast. 6 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:53,440 So we have the rap guy's wife AKA Nicole coming on today and 7 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,400 we are so excited. How are you doing? 8 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,960 I'm good. How are y'all? 9 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,480 You're good. So for those of you that don't 10 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:05,200 know, she is married to little white, Mr. Oxycontin, Xanax 11 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,080 bars. But the thing that we really 12 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,640 wanted to bring her on for is because she's super spiritual, 13 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:16,520 she's a boss bitch, She runs businesses, raises families, and 14 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,160 she's newly sober. So we're going to talk about all 15 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,840 of this, and I'm going to let Jim and I take it away with 16 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,560 questions because she has all kinds of questions. 17 00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:29,670 I did have all kinds of questions because we, on a like 18 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:33,830 a really small scale, we're finding out that the more that 19 00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:37,870 we're starting to do things, the more there are people around who 20 00:01:37,870 --> 00:01:40,350 are like, Oh my gosh, I just love you so much. 21 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,590 And like, I Rep you so hard. And it's the people who seem to 22 00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:47,150 like, have the most love that turn around and do something 23 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:49,310 with that energy and have some kind of betrayal. 24 00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:54,890 And I for us, we've watched not only low white, but we've 25 00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:58,290 watched you kind of grow your own following and doing your own 26 00:01:58,290 --> 00:02:00,410 things. And we've seen people that we 27 00:02:00,410 --> 00:02:03,810 used to watch in your comments supporting you now having, you 28 00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:05,570 know, sometimes not the same energy. 29 00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:10,090 And so, like, how does that feel for you with showing how you are 30 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:12,770 authentically and your whole person and still sometimes 31 00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:16,090 having people come back and have anything negative to say when 32 00:02:16,090 --> 00:02:20,660 you show who you are? So I was bullied so much growing 33 00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:23,140 up. So it's kind of just always been 34 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:24,620 just like a well, that's how you feel. 35 00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:27,420 Whatever. Like I've never been perfect. 36 00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:31,100 I come from I'm one of five. So being that family with a 37 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:34,900 single mom and five kids, like everybody was like kind of 38 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:38,260 always pointing their finger like oh like it all the way from 39 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,340 not having the newest, cleanest shoes or name brand clothes to 40 00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:44,490 now. You know, I've had nursing jobs 41 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:46,010 where they're like, well, you're made it a little white. 42 00:02:46,010 --> 00:02:47,930 How did you pass the drug test to get this job? 43 00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:51,410 And I'm like, what does that have to do with me? 44 00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:54,210 Just cuz he writes about all that stuff and raps about it. 45 00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:57,810 Doesn't mean I'm over here. Just, you know, snorting a line 46 00:02:57,810 --> 00:03:00,450 and going to work like this is not how that world works. 47 00:03:00,450 --> 00:03:03,050 Well, when people rap about fucking bitches all the time who 48 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,170 have never had a fucking hot bitch that they've fucked in 49 00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:06,530 their whole life. Right. 50 00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:09,930 Are you from Tennessee? Is that where you're from? 51 00:03:10,350 --> 00:03:12,350 I'm from, born and raised in Memphis, TN. 52 00:03:13,070 --> 00:03:15,670 So is that how you all met? Because I remember hearing a 53 00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:20,110 little bit about y'all Story on Bunny's podcast, which was when 54 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,310 I originally started following you. 55 00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:25,430 I didn't even know there was a Mrs. Little White, but I 56 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:28,430 remembered I'm talking about like you worked at a bar and he 57 00:03:28,430 --> 00:03:30,590 would kind of just like, come into that bar. 58 00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:33,950 Is that how you all met? Yeah, so I worked on Bill St. 59 00:03:33,950 --> 00:03:38,110 for like 10 years and he said I was the first bartender to come 60 00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:39,870 up and just hand him a crown of coke. 61 00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,650 He's like, how'd you know? And I'm like, you say it just in 62 00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:45,130 about like every song. Like if you wanted something 63 00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:48,610 else, I'd be like, if that's not what you drink, you might want 64 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,490 to switch your lyrics around, bro. 65 00:03:50,490 --> 00:03:51,770 Like, he's like, no, this is awesome. 66 00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:53,650 No one's ever just handed me a crown of Coke. 67 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:59,810 So love at first sight, then she's like, I got Oxycontin, 68 00:03:59,810 --> 00:04:01,970 Xanax bars. You sang about it in that? 69 00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:06,750 Song. My favorite thing about this 70 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:11,030 moment is like that nostalgia. Like, I heard that song, I was 71 00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:15,070 probably 11 years old and it was like the hit. 72 00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:17,269 I mean, that song was everywhere. 73 00:04:17,269 --> 00:04:21,149 And then really my favorite song was my smoking song at 11 years 74 00:04:21,149 --> 00:04:22,910 old. So it's like when I look back on 75 00:04:22,910 --> 00:04:26,070 that and then now we're sitting here with you like 20 years 76 00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:29,870 later, I just feel like, what kind of planet am I on now? 77 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:33,100 Because. Really anything is possible, but 78 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:36,540 so many people limit themselves based on who they used to be. 79 00:04:36,780 --> 00:04:39,780 And I know that you've been making a lot of personal changes 80 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,540 lately, so can you elaborate on kind of what you got going? 81 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,200 Yeah, so we had a bunch of stuff going on and everybody knows my 82 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,280 husband hit a mailbox and has the whole alcohol ankle monitor 83 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:55,560 on and this and that. So he had court for it and we he 84 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,400 started going to outpatient classes. 85 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,800 And this was way before any other extra drama was added to 86 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:05,360 what we already had going on at home and at court. 87 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,200 The judge was just like, no, this is too much. 88 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,480 You need inpatient rehab. So he was like, all right, so we 89 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,440 got him in the program. He spent two weeks in jail, 90 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,140 which. The gentleman, this is horrible. 91 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:17,700 So, like, we were all stressed out. 92 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,940 And I got him into a program. And so while he was gone, I was 93 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,580 just like, you know what? If he's not going to drink, I'm 94 00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:23,940 not going to drink. We're totally fine. 95 00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:26,860 It's not a big deal. So I quit drinking. 96 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,500 And then, like, while he was gone, I was like, I got to do 97 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,900 something about to lose my mind. So I started going to the gym 98 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,300 and I joined Hot Works, which is a hot yoga thing, and I'm 99 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,820 obsessed with it. But it like, sweats out toxins 100 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:38,580 in your body. And like after the first one 101 00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:41,480 like I didn't want any sodas. And then I didn't, like, 102 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,760 intentionally give up red meat or pork. 103 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,120 But like, I would have worked out like maybe three days in a 104 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,240 row doing that. And the first time I took a bite 105 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,000 of red meat, I got sick. So I'm like strictly chicken, 106 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:58,000 vegetables and water and coffee. So it just kind of keeps flowing 107 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,920 and my body's happy and I'm happy, so. 108 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,440 I love that. So you used to be a nurse and 109 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,760 now you manage the business full time? 110 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,080 Yes. So I was a wound care nurse, 111 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,440 which is considered a nurse management position. 112 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:16,760 And when COVID hit, like if one nurse got sick and we're already 113 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,760 short staffed through COVID, they would pull us from our 114 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,760 assignment. So we had to do the floor and 115 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,040 then turn around and get all of our dressings done and stuff 116 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,280 like that. Advantages. 117 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,760 And I got so sick, I thought I had like a kidney infection or 118 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,480 something like I couldn't even stand. 119 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,870 And I like. I woke up at like. 4:00 in the 120 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,030 morning. And I drove myself to the 121 00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:35,350 emergency room like my husband called. 122 00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:36,550 He was like, where are you at? What are you doing? 123 00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:37,550 I was like, I'm at the emergency room. 124 00:06:37,550 --> 00:06:38,470 I couldn't wait for you to get up. 125 00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:40,670 Like, I had to go. And the Doctor Who looked at me 126 00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:42,390 and was like, you're literally working yourself today. 127 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,870 There's nothing wrong with you. He's like, you're literally in 128 00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:46,510 pain because your body still need to slow down. 129 00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:49,430 So we were all my way back from the show one time. 130 00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:52,710 And he went inside a pilot, which is where all the guys had 131 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:54,270 to stop to take a shit when they're on the road. 132 00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:57,030 So he's been there for, like, 1520 minutes. 133 00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:58,310 He comes out and I'm like, here you go. 134 00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:00,150 I just did this, this and this and this and how much money I 135 00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:01,030 just made. He was like. 136 00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:05,270 I went inside to take a shit and you just made more money than 137 00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:07,310 what you make in like 3 months and 20 minutes. 138 00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:08,470 When we get home. You're quitting your job. 139 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:11,670 Why are you doing that? 15 minutes sell pictures of your 140 00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:15,030 feet I. Don't know, my feet made made a 141 00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:16,750 little more money than booking some little white shows. 142 00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:18,110 I got some cute little toes over here. 143 00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:22,110 I just booked like 2 shows and answered a couple of emails and 144 00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:25,270 like and it was like even some of them had instantly sent the 145 00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,270 money for features and stuff and he was like. 146 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:28,960 Starting to go to the bathroom again. 147 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,200 I was like, no, come on, let's go home. 148 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,920 He's like, when we get home, you're done working, you're 149 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,920 coming home. I was like, and now if I joke 150 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,480 with the kids, I'm like, Mom's going back to work. 151 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,880 They're like, no, you're not like they'll even like we'll eat 152 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,320 ramen noodles, like you're not going back to work. 153 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:45,800 Mom, I love that support. And also too, there are so many 154 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:50,160 people who wouldn't trust their spouses, taking on some type of 155 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:54,260 like management role for them or like doing their business 156 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,420 dealings. And I'm always like, so why are 157 00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:58,500 you with them then? If you wouldn't trust them 158 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,420 inside of handling any of your stuff, then maybe that's like 159 00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:04,500 not the partner for you. So the fact that you guys have 160 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:08,140 that foundation where you're like, go take a shit, I'll just 161 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:12,180 be in here doing the things with or without permission and on 162 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,580 page talking. I call her Polly Pocket by the 163 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:16,660 way. So like if throughout the 164 00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,900 podcast I call her Polly, while we're talking, I calling her 165 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:24,340 page is just so weird to me. But talking about that nostalgia 166 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:29,140 thing, I love that like, we grew up and we're like, no Sir, I 167 00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:32,580 went from it would be so cool to talk to that rap guy to like, 168 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,419 no, I want to talk to your wife. Can I talk to your wife? 169 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:41,450 You know, I feel like with Bunny, like opening her doors 170 00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:44,610 for me and like kind of just like introducing me to her 171 00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:48,530 family, to her friends, to her people, that me and you, Nicole 172 00:08:48,530 --> 00:08:50,970 just really bonded. And like, you're like one of the 173 00:08:50,970 --> 00:08:54,770 people that I was like, wow, I really, really like her. 174 00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:57,530 Like, you're just so genuine and you can tell that you're super 175 00:08:57,530 --> 00:09:00,330 genuine. And I feel like you keep your 176 00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:03,970 husband grounded, and I honestly feel like he's been way more 177 00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:06,710 successful. Since being with you just 178 00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:10,470 because you're like super grounded and practical and I 179 00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:13,790 feel like also spontaneous, like you get shit done and you can 180 00:09:13,790 --> 00:09:16,990 see that, like you can tell that you're about your business and 181 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:21,310 that's why I was like, I think it's so beautiful that you are 182 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:24,500 like building your own. Name and like doing your own 183 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:28,700 thing, but then also like helping him excel into a better 184 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,140 person. Because you know, getting sober 185 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:33,660 is really freaking hard. And if you have someone who 186 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:36,700 supports that, it's 1000 times easier. 187 00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:39,820 And I know that, you know, I've been on a sobriety journey. 188 00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:43,810 And your whole life changes when you stop distracting yourself 189 00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:47,130 with drugs and alcohol and partying and whatever. 190 00:09:47,130 --> 00:09:50,730 And it's just beautiful when people go on to that self love 191 00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:52,370 journey. And I can really tell, 192 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,490 especially just like with your post, they're so motivating. 193 00:09:55,490 --> 00:09:59,810 And I saw today you're like 75 days this he's 100 days. 194 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,290 And I was like, what a special day that we're meeting with you 195 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:03,690 and it's like a milestone for you. 196 00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:08,370 So he's he actually, when we first started dating, we were 197 00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:11,490 sitting, we were at his house, obviously, because we wouldn't 198 00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:13,250 just start dating and moving with each other. 199 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,970 But he had a stack of bills, like on his counter. 200 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,290 And I was like, what is all this? 201 00:10:17,290 --> 00:10:19,650 He's like, it's my bills. And I was like, I was like, 202 00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:21,330 well, dude, they're like, all past due. 203 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,610 He's like, I know. I'm working on it. 204 00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:25,410 Like it was like, right after he had all that bad management and 205 00:10:25,410 --> 00:10:26,810 this and that. And I was like, all right, so I 206 00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,490 picked him up and I was just sitting there like, what are you 207 00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,170 doing? I had my phone. 208 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,290 I was like, I'm paying your bills. 209 00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:32,870 He's like, you're what? So I was like, well, I mean, 210 00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:34,750 how? Because he had moved down back 211 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,590 into our area for his daughter, because he found out some stuff 212 00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:39,510 that her Mama was doing and thought he was just going to 213 00:10:39,510 --> 00:10:42,430 have to, you know, be there. And when he got that phone call 214 00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:44,590 and I was like, well, what are you going to do if the lights 215 00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:46,070 are out and you got to go get her? 216 00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:48,550 I was like, and if you're trying to pay bills, how you can put 217 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:49,870 the groceries down? I was like, it's not a big deal. 218 00:10:49,870 --> 00:10:50,990 Seriously, don't worry about it. I got it. 219 00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:54,110 So, like, paid, you know, like the essential bills form and 220 00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:56,230 whatnot. And then we were sitting there 221 00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:57,590 one night, He was talking about a show. 222 00:10:57,590 --> 00:11:00,670 And I was like, you know, you can give yourself a raise, 223 00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:02,410 right? He's like, what are you talking 224 00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:04,090 about? I was like, it's your show. 225 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,850 They're booking you. Like, if you think they should 226 00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:09,810 pay you more than it's your, it's your choice, like, increase 227 00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:11,570 the price of your shows. He's like, Oh my God. 228 00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:15,450 So, like, like, like, we literally started from the 229 00:11:15,610 --> 00:11:17,290 beginning of all his stuff for him. 230 00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:21,210 Like, like Even so much is like getting him a bank account. 231 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,050 He was just like, I just pay cash and I go do this. 232 00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:26,490 I'm like, no, no, you don't. You get a bank account because 233 00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:28,450 when that cash is in your pocket, you spend it and then 234 00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:30,290 you turn around like so it was like. 235 00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:33,770 From like building it from the ground up for him, which was 236 00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:36,490 like what he really, truly needed after all the stuff he'd 237 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:37,970 been through before we started dating. 238 00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:40,290 And I think that's about go ahead. 239 00:11:40,570 --> 00:11:42,130 Sorry. I'm saying I think that's so 240 00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:45,770 beautiful because so many people want that type of connection. 241 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,400 I got it. And I think I that's why I 242 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,960 admire people because you can genuinely see that their 243 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,200 connection is reciprocal and that they support each other and 244 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,000 like they go to battle for each other and it's like we're on the 245 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,320 same team. You know what I mean? 246 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,600 Like we're the same team and so many people are competing with 247 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,720 their partner or kind of put their partner on the back 248 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,280 burner. And I love that you were like, 249 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,640 no, this is a priority. I'm going to take care of it. 250 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,480 And he said he's never had a chick do that. 251 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,170 He's like, wait, what? He's like well, am I It needs to 252 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,010 be done. Like just come on let's go and 253 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:20,450 like. But it also took me like just as 254 00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:23,530 much effort as it took him he was because he tried to talk me 255 00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:26,410 into leaving work for like 3 years. 256 00:12:26,410 --> 00:12:28,570 He was like just come home. I'm like, no dude, like it's 257 00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:30,970 your music. But when I realized that his 258 00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:34,050 music needed more help than and I told him I'd never take away 259 00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:36,450 from his music career. So me being away from work and 260 00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:39,010 working so much, it was taken away from his music career 261 00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:42,730 because I wasn't home in time for him to go to the studio or? 262 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:45,490 You know, when I did get home and he wanted, you know, to talk 263 00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:49,090 about music, I'd fall asleep mid conversation and he's like, I 264 00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:51,850 was just, I was trying to do a zombie when COVID hits, so 265 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,810 everything happens for a reason. So music is #1 right now for him 266 00:12:55,810 --> 00:13:01,320 so well, and that's like that behind the scenes support too, 267 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,320 of doing those things that other people aren't going to 268 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,800 necessarily like be seeing in the public, but they are really 269 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,960 helping you like support your person. 270 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:14,520 And it probably helps to make him feel nurtured and 271 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,620 comfortable too. I don't know what his background 272 00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:20,820 is with all of that, but I know that has to make somebody feel, 273 00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:23,940 like, nurtured and safe to know that you're stepping in and 274 00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:27,100 like, hey, I'm gonna pay these bills so that you're able to do 275 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,420 these other things that you need to do for your child. 276 00:13:29,420 --> 00:13:33,260 And especially if someone's in a situation where their kid isn't 277 00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:36,020 being taken care of fully by another person and they're 278 00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:39,340 having to step up somebody else coming in and being like, hey, 279 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,260 you're not alone with this. Like, let me take this burden 280 00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:45,740 off of you or let me help you in this way and that behind the 281 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:48,660 scenes support too. I think that a lot of people 282 00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:53,200 don't understand how much sacrifice I think that you go 283 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,040 through to in order to like make somebody else's dream come true. 284 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,280 Because while yes, like that's your role as a partner like 285 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,560 you're being supportive, there is also that initiative like 286 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:07,660 self sacrifice of well, this is taking a, you know, quitting my 287 00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:11,620 job is or quitting your job is really taking a piece of like 288 00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:14,540 something that you probably worked really hard to have that 289 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:18,420 independence for yourself and that like identity of I've got 290 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,220 me. And that's a lot of trust that 291 00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:24,860 you put in somebody else too. So that's a huge, like growth on 292 00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:27,780 your own healing and spiritual journey to be like, I'm going to 293 00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:31,180 trust in this person and their dream and put to the side 294 00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:33,100 something that I worked really hard to obtain. 295 00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:35,510 Oh, yeah. It definitely wasn't the 296 00:14:35,510 --> 00:14:37,470 easiest, either. I went down to Dark Hole and got 297 00:14:37,470 --> 00:14:40,030 really depressed because a part of me I've always I was a nurse, 298 00:14:40,030 --> 00:14:41,710 Nicole, like, everybody called me. 299 00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:44,350 Family members called me. Nurses would call me in the 300 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,070 middle of the night and be like, Nicole, what do we do about 301 00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:47,390 this? And like and everybody knew I 302 00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:49,350 was a nurse. So I kind of like, for a minute 303 00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:54,710 I felt like almost invisible. And then it's and it sounds so 304 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:56,190 petty. But when I lost my Instagram 305 00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:58,270 page, it was like why I went from people telling me that I 306 00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:00,750 motivate them and I brighten their day. 307 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,630 And Nurse Nicole's gone. And now that page is gone. 308 00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:04,750 So it's like, now what am I doing? 309 00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:06,470 I'm just sitting here. It's almost like I sat in the 310 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,550 dark. So, I mean, even while he's in 311 00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:10,590 rehab, I did a lot of soul searching myself. 312 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:12,270 And I was like, you know what? I'm going to be all right. 313 00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:15,350 We're good. I feel like your aura has 314 00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:18,870 shifted so much since I did that past life reading for you. 315 00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:21,950 And you were like, so much of this is making sense right now. 316 00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:24,470 And you're like, I showed this to my brother or my friend. 317 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,670 And they were like, that sounds just like you. 318 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:29,950 And I feel like that protective spirit that you have, like 319 00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:32,590 you've carried that with you in so many lifetimes. 320 00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,790 And I think it's beautiful that you can put your sword down and 321 00:15:35,790 --> 00:15:40,130 like, let him, you know. Take care of you while you also 322 00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:42,090 take care of him in a different way. 323 00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:45,370 And I think that's like what I personally want in my life. 324 00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:48,930 You know, I see people like yourself and and Bunny and Jelly 325 00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:51,370 and people that are just like they go to war for each other 326 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,410 and they really support each other's dreams. 327 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:57,490 And I think that's so amazing. And it's really like rare, you 328 00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,610 know, in this day and age because some people just do shit 329 00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:02,770 for the Internet and it's not reality. 330 00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:06,250 But you know, putting putting your pride aside and like 331 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,130 stepping up in that way, I feel like. 332 00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:12,370 How do you think that's affected you as far as, like on a 333 00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:19,170 personal level? So I think the biggest part that 334 00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:21,450 in like we both have gone through this since making all 335 00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:24,610 these changes is as a human we never at want to admit we're 336 00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:27,490 wrong ever. Like we don't ever want to admit 337 00:16:27,490 --> 00:16:30,650 that. And you're not necessarily lying 338 00:16:31,050 --> 00:16:34,650 to yourself and the public by not talking about it. 339 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,200 So there's but when you do talk about there's a fear of like 340 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,120 people and what they did on the Internet all the time. 341 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,400 They take what you do or say and they completely twisted it 342 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,440 around. Like the other day. 343 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,000 Me having my new glow and being happy was me covering up my face 344 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,560 because I'm a drug addict and my face is ate up and I'm just like 345 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:57,080 because I'm happy now all of a sudden I've like just got crater 346 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,640 face all over the Internet that I'm covering up I mean. 347 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,700 I just now learned how to do eyeliner like a couple years 348 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:03,620 ago. Like really good. 349 00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:05,220 Like this is progress for me like. 350 00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:08,460 You know is that when you made the post where you talked about 351 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:11,859 how you've blown up and you've learned how to do your makeup 352 00:17:11,859 --> 00:17:13,260 and all that. Yeah. 353 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:15,700 So yes, between and it was a man that said that. 354 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,140 And then there was all sorts of other posts from a certain event 355 00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:21,460 that happened saying that I'm a heroin addict or I've done I'm 356 00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:24,220 on drugs and like I shouldn't have custody of my kids. 357 00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:27,740 Like all sorts of stuff from like a 10 second clip and I'm 358 00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:30,200 just like. And now that I'm doing better, 359 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,480 all of a sudden it's it like it. The Internet is so cruel. 360 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,400 Like all these people are the biggest bully. 361 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,400 So there's a part of me that when you do talk about it, 362 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,480 you're like, well, am I going to get rejected? 363 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,160 But then I I just realized, you know what? 364 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,360 I am who I am. If they don't like it, there's 365 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:45,640 an unfollow. There's a block. 366 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,520 In the same way that you. It takes you longer to type out 367 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,800 a hateful comment than it does for me to hit delete and block. 368 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,040 So I just finally had to let go of that. 369 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,760 And anybody, my block list is. So I probably got more people 370 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,680 blocked than I have followers at this point. 371 00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:02,700 Whenever all of that was cycling around, I know you were going 372 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,260 through some really difficult stuff. 373 00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:07,780 How do you feel about like when people don't know the whole 374 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:10,460 story? There's a part of us that wants 375 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:13,660 to justify it, but like, how good does it feel to just keep 376 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,180 it moving and keep the train pushing? 377 00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,940 Because that's what I feel like y'all been doing. 378 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:21,820 It's hard because no, no matter how, no matter what you do in 379 00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:24,300 life, whether it's good or bad, someone's always going to be 380 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,580 like, well, that doesn't make sense or why did you do this or 381 00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:29,750 why did you do that? And then if you try to justify 382 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:32,070 things, it just makes people that don't know what's going on 383 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,950 dig it up. So it's like you're creating 384 00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:39,470 this giant mountain out of a molehill, and it's all you get 385 00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:42,070 when one person doesn't like you and a group of people that don't 386 00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:43,070 like you. The only thing you have in 387 00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:46,910 common is still just you. So whether it's good or bad, 388 00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,710 you're still the common denominator. 389 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,430 So at some point in time you just got to figure out does it 390 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,710 really matter what they say and just keep moving like? 391 00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:56,230 My, I never lost any sleep at night. 392 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:59,030 It sucked because I I don't ever want to see people upset. 393 00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:02,430 So I'm just like, so the people that were upset that didn't 394 00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:04,790 deserve to see that I'm like, damn, that sucks for them, But 395 00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:07,150 we can fix it. Everybody else, I'm good. 396 00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:10,880 We'll just keep going. So it's such a tight line that 397 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,920 you have to walk to because you are like putting yourself out 398 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,520 there publicly and you do want to be known and like share 399 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,440 yourself and your journey And you talk about your sobriety 400 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,880 journey and things. And then at the same time you 401 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,160 also have that, like, well, I don't give a fuck what people 402 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,560 think, but I'm also trying to like what things do I talk about 403 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,190 and do I share. Because it's almost like you 404 00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:34,030 have to pick and choose what types of things you're willing 405 00:19:34,030 --> 00:19:36,350 to have feedback on from other people. 406 00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:40,310 Because there are like, there are, no matter how much we don't 407 00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:43,550 give a fuck, there are always certain topics that we really 408 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,510 give a fuck about and like we'll fight your mother over. 409 00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:50,990 And so I know that, like, for you being so out there, are 410 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:54,550 there any things that you're like when it comes to this? 411 00:19:54,870 --> 00:19:58,470 I I don't. I don't share these personal 412 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:01,350 things about like my kids or whatever. 413 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:07,910 So our kids are all pretty like outspoken, like we are the only 414 00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:10,390 thing we really don't post. We don't post school events. 415 00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:15,670 You'll never see our kids schools, you won't see addresses 416 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:18,950 and stuff we post. We're very, very protective 417 00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:20,950 about their locations and stuff like that. 418 00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:26,030 But I will never dog our kids as other parents on social media. 419 00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:29,190 That's not the world's business. Whether they're 100% with our 420 00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:31,470 kids every day or they're 100% out the picture. 421 00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:37,190 That's not the world's business. And even if we do post things 422 00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:40,070 about our kids and or talk about our kids, we let them know 423 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:43,230 first. They've all four of our kids 424 00:20:43,230 --> 00:20:46,420 have been through a lot of stuff that you wouldn't imagine kids 425 00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:48,700 ever go through. And so that's been one of our 426 00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,700 biggest goals since we started dating. 427 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:53,780 Like we didn't even let the kids meet each the other one until 428 00:20:53,780 --> 00:20:55,340 we've been together for like 3 months. 429 00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:58,980 And then like it's it was kind of a one-on-one meeting. 430 00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:02,740 And then like my older son, he was 5 and he sat my husband down 431 00:21:02,740 --> 00:21:05,900 was like, well, what are your intentions with my mother at 432 00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,540 five years old? So if you can imagine him saying 433 00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:14,270 that at 5:00 and then his oldest daughter, she was 11/12, I think 434 00:21:14,270 --> 00:21:16,430 she's like 12. And she saw a picture of me. 435 00:21:16,430 --> 00:21:20,150 She was like, well, are her glasses prescription or is she, 436 00:21:20,150 --> 00:21:23,670 she's trying to be cool And he was like, no, she's totally 437 00:21:23,670 --> 00:21:25,110 blind. He's like okay, that's fine. 438 00:21:25,110 --> 00:21:28,710 I can deal with that. So like, they had they all for 439 00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:31,190 the kids and made sure the other one of us was super real before 440 00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:35,190 we just kind of joined this cluster of the most functioning 441 00:21:35,190 --> 00:21:39,430 dysfunctional family ever so. I'm obsessed with that. 442 00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:41,310 You could be blind. You just can't be a poser. 443 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:48,000 When growing up in Tennessee, like what was your childhood 444 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,680 like? I know you said that you're one 445 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,200 of five. So what did you grow up in a 446 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,640 like a close knit family or were. 447 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:01,480 So I'm the oldest girl I have older brother than it's me and 448 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,840 then I had a little sister and then we the twins were the 449 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,640 youngest. So it was just my mom, and we 450 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,200 grew up that regular poor white trash family on food stamps. 451 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,520 And if we missed the bus, we probably didn't get to school 452 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:18,400 because mom couldn't just drive us all over the town and get 453 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,400 back to work and all that. It was a whole neighborhood full 454 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,440 of boys. So I've always been like one of 455 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,520 the homies, like playing basketball, and I was usually 456 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,840 with my older brother who's six years older than me. 457 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,000 So I was just always around older kids and I probably knew 458 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,650 way too much way before I should have, but it was either that or 459 00:22:37,650 --> 00:22:41,370 hang out with babies. So it was I was kind of stuck in 460 00:22:41,370 --> 00:22:44,210 that middle. But I always learned how to 461 00:22:44,210 --> 00:22:45,970 fight. I knew how to defend myself. 462 00:22:47,690 --> 00:22:51,450 We got called the worst and my maiden name is Di Filippo, so 463 00:22:51,450 --> 00:22:56,970 that name got made fun of a lot. So I've always, and then between 464 00:22:56,970 --> 00:23:00,130 me and my brother, when it my siblings came up behind us, they 465 00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:02,450 got made fun of a lot. So there's a lot of times where 466 00:23:02,450 --> 00:23:05,090 I, you know, I had to go down to the bus stop, I'd missed my bus 467 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:07,930 and go to their bus stop just to tell all these little kids like 468 00:23:07,930 --> 00:23:09,010 they're not the ones to mess with. 469 00:23:09,010 --> 00:23:11,130 So I've always been like a Mama figure. 470 00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:13,170 I guess you could say like with it. 471 00:23:13,730 --> 00:23:17,170 That I get from you is like Mama bear and that's kind of like, I 472 00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:18,570 know came through in your reading. 473 00:23:18,810 --> 00:23:20,650 But like you can feel that energy. 474 00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:23,530 Like you can feel that don't fuck with me energy coming from 475 00:23:23,530 --> 00:23:26,090 you. Like I feel like if people do 476 00:23:26,170 --> 00:23:29,530 really get to know you, that you have such a sweet and like kind 477 00:23:29,530 --> 00:23:32,210 heart. But if you cross that boundary, 478 00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:34,530 I feel like it's like, no, fuck you real quick. 479 00:23:34,530 --> 00:23:36,970 Oh, my own Mama would tell you she's like, ooh Nicole, she's 480 00:23:36,970 --> 00:23:38,970 like, you're either someone's best friend or their worst 481 00:23:38,970 --> 00:23:41,010 enemy. I really hope I never pissed you 482 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:42,370 up. I'm like, thanks Mom. 483 00:23:45,210 --> 00:23:48,650 I remember watching the interview that you did on 484 00:23:49,330 --> 00:23:52,810 Bunny's podcast and I was laughing because. 485 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,960 You to me, your energy was like, you were kind of laying back. 486 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,960 You were letting your husband kind of have the floor on 487 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,560 things. And I was like, she's just like, 488 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:05,720 so sweet and like, I don't know, I got this like, like innocent 489 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,160 wallflower vibe. And then all of a sudden y'all 490 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,320 started talking about sex and he's over here talking about you 491 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,720 riding the big toe and shit. And I'm sitting there. 492 00:24:16,690 --> 00:24:19,770 Bust in the fuck up. I couldn't stop laughing. 493 00:24:19,770 --> 00:24:22,250 And then I was like, I'm following her. 494 00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:25,650 We're about to be friends. Like, I I have to be on this 495 00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:28,450 shit show ride. It was amazing on this big tail 496 00:24:28,450 --> 00:24:31,450 fun house. Yeah, I'm like I can make 497 00:24:31,530 --> 00:24:35,010 anything dirty like it's he like that. 498 00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:38,610 He says that when the old men, when they're doing like this, he 499 00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:41,810 said it's because of years of just shaking their heads at 500 00:24:41,810 --> 00:24:44,040 their wives. Like, we'll go places. 501 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,240 He's like, what are you about to say? 502 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,680 And I'm like, I don't know. This stuff just comes out. 503 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,120 He was like, whoa, OK, just remember where we're at. 504 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,720 And I'm like, you know what? You're a little white. 505 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,240 You're the ratchet one. Don't worry about me. 506 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,720 He's like, Oh no, I am not the Ratchet one anymore. 507 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,680 Whenever you were growing up, you said you grew up in Memphis. 508 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,480 Did you know like 3-6 Mafia and like, did you know, I mean, 509 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,240 obviously they're all from that area, correct? 510 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:14,740 So my freshman year, my, my best friend, she was talking to a 511 00:25:14,740 --> 00:25:18,020 dude that lived out in Millington, which was like one 512 00:25:18,020 --> 00:25:19,700 of those areas. Like, we're not allowed to drive 513 00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:22,380 that far. It was like 45 minutes from like 514 00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:25,060 basically civilization because it was still like the country 515 00:25:25,060 --> 00:25:26,620 out there. So he snuck out one night, she 516 00:25:26,620 --> 00:25:29,460 was talking to this dude and he was like, you should listen to 517 00:25:29,460 --> 00:25:31,740 this mixtape. And he played, I was like, who 518 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:33,500 is this? And they say it was the group 519 00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:35,220 that he was with before we got signed. 520 00:25:35,220 --> 00:25:37,460 And I was like, there's no way that's a white dude. 521 00:25:37,980 --> 00:25:40,460 He's like, it totally is. Like there's there's no way like 522 00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:44,430 like I listen to every, I've heard every Memphis artist, 523 00:25:44,430 --> 00:25:46,310 like, you know my older brother, six years older. 524 00:25:46,310 --> 00:25:49,270 So I've been riding around with him doing Donuts in the parking 525 00:25:49,270 --> 00:25:50,910 lots and shit listening to Three 6 Mafia. 526 00:25:50,910 --> 00:25:54,230 So I'm like that that's not a white dude he's and so when the 527 00:25:54,230 --> 00:25:56,550 CD came out, he had called my friend and was like y'all need 528 00:25:56,550 --> 00:25:59,750 to go get the CD. So we actually probably like one 529 00:25:59,750 --> 00:26:01,790 of the two times I've skipped school. 530 00:26:02,350 --> 00:26:05,830 We skipped school when got his CD the day dropped and went to 531 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:09,240 Wendy's and got the two Junior Bacon cheeseburgers and two 532 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:14,360 waters for $2.06 that we stole out of her mom's change jar and 533 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,840 just drove around the city listening to his CD. 534 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,720 The day dropped so like it's literally been since day one. 535 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,960 I've been a fan and I would have never thought he'd walked up to 536 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,760 my bar. Then 8 1/2 years later, here we 537 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,640 are. I love that you had it down to 538 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:34,630 the six fucking cents we had. We robbed her mom's change jar 539 00:26:34,630 --> 00:26:36,830 so many times. Like there was when a dollar 540 00:26:36,830 --> 00:26:40,510 mini was actually a dollar mini. Like we knew exactly how much 541 00:26:40,510 --> 00:26:42,230 change we needed. And then they didn't charge for 542 00:26:42,230 --> 00:26:43,910 waters back then. So we were like, all right, we 543 00:26:43,910 --> 00:26:45,070 got this. We don't need lunch. 544 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:46,150 We can go. We can get this. 545 00:26:47,870 --> 00:26:51,790 So when you were in school, were you like you were attentive in 546 00:26:51,790 --> 00:26:54,390 school and you were good in school or did you like kind of 547 00:26:54,390 --> 00:26:57,030 rebel during school? Or was like, I feel like you're 548 00:26:57,030 --> 00:27:00,150 smart if you went on to be a nurse that you you had to have 549 00:27:00,150 --> 00:27:03,580 some book smart. So I was a straight A student 550 00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:08,940 and I missed my sophomore year. I missed like a month. 551 00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:10,660 I missed like three straight weeks. 552 00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:15,260 I had, I got a spider bite my leg that almost killed me. 553 00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:18,940 So I missed a week from that. I had a really bad ear infection 554 00:27:18,940 --> 00:27:21,180 and I missed a week from that. And then my mom had her 555 00:27:21,180 --> 00:27:25,060 hysterectomy and I was the the oldest one at the house that 556 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:28,120 they don't take care of her. So we went to, they sent us to 557 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:31,720 truancy court. And I've been asking my mom, I'm 558 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,120 like, well, just put me in gateway, just let me homeschool 559 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,000 myself. And I went and got a job and I 560 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,680 paid for it and everything. We went to truancy court and 561 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,720 they told my mom I was going to end up just like my older 562 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,920 brother. And she was like, oh, no, Sir, 563 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:43,760 you know what? She's not. 564 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,120 She's like, I'm not doing this. So she pulled me out of public 565 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:50,760 schools and I did the homeschool thing and I graduated with the 566 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,160 4.0 at the age of 15. Wow. 567 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,520 So I graduated 10th, 11th and 12th grade in one year. 568 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:03,000 Did you go on to college early or did you take some time off 569 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,040 and work? No, I went straight into 570 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,680 college. My dad was like, no, if you take 571 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:07,840 a break, you're never going to go. 572 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,480 And I was just, it was like the one thing in my entire life that 573 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,240 he's ever been a part of. He's like, I'll pay for your 574 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:16,040 first semester. I was like, OK, so I went to 575 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:20,400 little Community College and I did that, and then I made it. 576 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,840 I couldn't go straight to the nursing program because you had 577 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,690 to be 18 years old because you deal with so many machines and 578 00:28:25,690 --> 00:28:28,010 stuff. And I so they put me on the 579 00:28:28,010 --> 00:28:31,850 waiting list because of my age. I had like the top score as far 580 00:28:31,850 --> 00:28:34,770 as the applications. But I wasn't old enough to be on 581 00:28:34,770 --> 00:28:38,010 the actual floor. I was like, well, So what I do 582 00:28:38,010 --> 00:28:39,970 for two years. So I took a bunch of electives. 583 00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:42,890 I took every psychology class you can think of. 584 00:28:43,170 --> 00:28:45,770 I took every business management class you could think of, which 585 00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:47,970 is now helping me today, which I had no idea why. 586 00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:50,050 I was just like, so we'll just learn all this. 587 00:28:50,090 --> 00:28:52,280 So I did a bunch of extra classes. 588 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,680 That was one of them. I'm just, I'm such a cheap ass. 589 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,160 I was like, how many hours can I take? 590 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,240 I was like, alright, we're going to use all of them. 591 00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,480 We're going to pay for this semester. 592 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:00,880 We're using up every hour possible. 593 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,560 So I took all sorts of extra classes for two years until I 594 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:12,080 could start a nursing school. You did that at 15, my mom had 595 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:15,080 to drive. My mom had to drive me to my 596 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,080 first day of college and then take me to get my driver's 597 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:23,040 license on my 16th birthday. So that's a super overachiever 598 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:27,800 from someone that grew up in a poor, like single household. 599 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:32,720 I feel like that's like an anomaly and also adds back to 600 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,880 like how grounded you are. You get shit done. 601 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,040 And I feel like when your mind is set on something, you're 602 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,200 going to make that happen. And you can see that in like 603 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,680 just your post and like the energy that you bring into the 604 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,600 world, like, you can really tell like. 605 00:29:47,470 --> 00:29:50,590 I've got a plan and I know what to do and I'm gonna figure it 606 00:29:50,590 --> 00:29:51,790 out. And I love that. 607 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:55,750 I admire women like that because a lot of women compete with each 608 00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:59,470 other and they don't want to see other women win and whatever. 609 00:29:59,470 --> 00:30:02,590 And that's why I like whenever Bunny introduced us, I was like, 610 00:30:02,590 --> 00:30:05,350 oh, I really like this girl. I was like, she is like a 611 00:30:05,350 --> 00:30:07,110 writer. You can tell that you're like a 612 00:30:07,110 --> 00:30:08,590 ride or die that you're not like. 613 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:13,200 One of those flaky, phony people that just kind of like latch on 614 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,520 to the people doing the work. I feel like you're ready to, 615 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,360 like, get your hands dirty and like, do what you got to do to 616 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:22,240 get where you want to be. So what is the biggest challenge 617 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:26,000 that you're finding now? Managing your husband's music 618 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,960 career, Getting him to the studio? 619 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:36,160 Here's the problem he So a lot of people don't will. 620 00:30:37,180 --> 00:30:38,660 I think all artists are like this. 621 00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:41,740 They're So what they wanna do, what they wanna do when they 622 00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:44,820 wanna do it. And my husband's just like any 623 00:30:44,820 --> 00:30:48,500 other husband and artist where I've got to make it like it's 624 00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:52,900 his idea and kind of twist it around. 625 00:30:52,900 --> 00:30:56,250 So like, but I've we've been together so long now like I know 626 00:30:56,250 --> 00:30:59,090 exactly how he'll respond to questions like even when I reply 627 00:30:59,090 --> 00:31:01,890 back to emails or messages he like, babe, did I write this? 628 00:31:02,050 --> 00:31:02,810 I'm like, no. I did. 629 00:31:02,810 --> 00:31:04,770 He's like oh it sounds like me I was like I know but you were 630 00:31:04,770 --> 00:31:08,050 busy and this you know person has this question so technically 631 00:31:08,050 --> 00:31:11,130 it's still him replying. It's just me putting his words 632 00:31:11,170 --> 00:31:14,090 out for him. But I figured out like, if he 633 00:31:14,090 --> 00:31:16,610 wakes up and then when he wakes up, I can tell kind of Moody's 634 00:31:16,610 --> 00:31:19,330 in. So like, it's like a almost like 635 00:31:19,370 --> 00:31:23,190 a like a giant puzzle every day. Like if he's not in the mood to 636 00:31:23,190 --> 00:31:25,310 do it, then we're not going to answer that question today. 637 00:31:25,310 --> 00:31:32,070 She's ever laughing at me. So whenever you reply back and 638 00:31:32,070 --> 00:31:35,590 and you're handling emails and things like that, do you have a 639 00:31:35,590 --> 00:31:39,470 challenge with people like doing what they say they're going to 640 00:31:39,470 --> 00:31:40,950 do? Because, like what I'm finding 641 00:31:40,950 --> 00:31:43,950 in business is that a lot of people want to collaborate, or 642 00:31:43,950 --> 00:31:46,350 they want to hype you up, or they want to be a part of what 643 00:31:46,350 --> 00:31:49,590 you've already created, but they don't want to do any of the work 644 00:31:49,670 --> 00:31:51,230 and that's. That's what we're finding. 645 00:31:51,510 --> 00:31:54,030 It's like, especially with guests, we didn't really want 646 00:31:54,030 --> 00:31:58,550 any more guests because they seem like, very egocentric and 647 00:31:58,550 --> 00:32:01,710 weird when once we get them on the podcast, like they're not 648 00:32:01,710 --> 00:32:04,870 who they show the world. And I was like, Oh no, Nicole, 649 00:32:04,870 --> 00:32:08,510 like we need her on there. And the craziest part about it 650 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:12,030 was you lost your page. We had already been following 651 00:32:12,030 --> 00:32:14,460 you. When your page came back, I had 652 00:32:14,460 --> 00:32:18,220 unfollowed everyone on our podcast page just to like, you 653 00:32:18,220 --> 00:32:20,980 know, declutter it. And then it was like showing 654 00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:23,900 that we were following three people and you were one of them. 655 00:32:24,220 --> 00:32:27,500 And I was like this is a sign because I had already mentioned. 656 00:32:27,940 --> 00:32:31,340 Maybe having you on the podcast in the future, but it was like 657 00:32:31,340 --> 00:32:34,060 we were on a break from season 2 to season three. 658 00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:37,900 And it's just so ironic that, like, it's season three and you 659 00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:40,340 are our third person that we were following. 660 00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:43,300 But we just find that, like when collaborating with certain 661 00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:46,580 people, they don't bring the same energy that they have in 662 00:32:46,580 --> 00:32:49,220 the beginning. Oh yeah, it happens all the 663 00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:50,660 time. So it's like when we have other 664 00:32:50,660 --> 00:32:54,560 artists that want to do songs and stuff with him, or even even 665 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:58,320 any anything we do, people go from like just meeting us. 666 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,720 And then all of a sudden we're family, which we love everybody. 667 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,760 But then they start stretching it and taking it further. 668 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,160 And then a lot of people, I gave out my personal number just so 669 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:14,000 they know for sure that like, like I can FaceTime them for my 670 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,800 number versus the business number we have. 671 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,760 And like, look, this is the White's wife, his manager, he's 672 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,290 right here. A lot of people have lately been 673 00:33:22,290 --> 00:33:24,450 saying that their wife is their manager, too. 674 00:33:24,810 --> 00:33:28,810 And I'm like, maybe at home, but like, I'm running a whole 675 00:33:28,810 --> 00:33:31,010 business. We have a music label and we 676 00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:33,930 have like all sorts of stuff going on. 677 00:33:33,930 --> 00:33:36,250 I was like, but it just, it makes it weird when they 678 00:33:36,250 --> 00:33:37,810 instantly want to throw that out there. 679 00:33:37,810 --> 00:33:42,090 I'm just like, OK, So what do you want me to do with that? 680 00:33:42,090 --> 00:33:43,930 Like, I've been talking to you the whole time and all of a 681 00:33:43,930 --> 00:33:46,010 sudden that we're close. You want me to talk to your wife 682 00:33:46,010 --> 00:33:50,240 slash manager, like, so it a lot of people get really weird and 683 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,680 you just kind of have to just keep moving forward and be like, 684 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,840 all right, so here's your stuff. We'll see you on this day and 685 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,640 this is what we're doing and just kind of, I guess you'd say 686 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,120 brush it off respectfully. It's like the easiest way I 687 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,440 could say of how I get through all that. 688 00:34:05,740 --> 00:34:08,300 I feel like it's that competition energy too, where 689 00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:11,340 it's like, Oh well, if he's got a wife that's doing boss bitch 690 00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:14,100 shit, I got to have a wife that's doing boss bitch shit. 691 00:34:14,100 --> 00:34:16,500 And she's probably sitting there in her Elmo fucking slippers, 692 00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:18,699 not doing Jack shit, attaching her own belly button. 693 00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:23,980 And you know, people, people really will be like we've 694 00:34:23,980 --> 00:34:25,940 encountered. People will be so different. 695 00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:29,300 And you'll see them like on social media or even like, we'll 696 00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:31,940 have a conversation with somebody and then we'll sit down 697 00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:35,179 to actually, like, start talking to them and you'll press record. 698 00:34:35,739 --> 00:34:38,580 And all of a sudden you're like, who the fuck is this? 699 00:34:38,580 --> 00:34:42,820 Like we had, we've talked about it before, like we never named 700 00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:45,900 drop or anything like that. But we have this one person who 701 00:34:45,900 --> 00:34:50,460 had like millions of followers and shows up on social media and 702 00:34:50,460 --> 00:34:53,820 is like just this boss ass bitch and we're like, Oh my gosh, like 703 00:34:53,820 --> 00:34:58,150 this is going to be so exciting. And when we went to record, she 704 00:34:58,150 --> 00:35:03,110 showed up inside of a car with like, only the thing lit on the 705 00:35:03,110 --> 00:35:07,550 top of the ceiling and was like, distracted the entire time and 706 00:35:07,550 --> 00:35:10,510 kept arguing with Paige. Every time Paige would say 707 00:35:10,510 --> 00:35:13,630 something, she's like, well, I don't agree with that and would 708 00:35:13,630 --> 00:35:16,230 start going to the point that I was like, why the fuck are you 709 00:35:16,230 --> 00:35:17,550 here? You're fucking odd. 710 00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:19,310 I don't even know. You could argue with Paige. 711 00:35:21,190 --> 00:35:23,030 Like, wait, what? You can do that. 712 00:35:23,890 --> 00:35:25,450 She would literally just have an opinion. 713 00:35:25,450 --> 00:35:27,890 She would be like, this is what I think about the spiritual 714 00:35:27,890 --> 00:35:29,890 realm. And she would be like, oh, that 715 00:35:29,890 --> 00:35:33,370 is wrong, Absolutely not. This is spreading hateful speech 716 00:35:33,370 --> 00:35:38,820 and I'm like, go fuck yourself. Know what I said to her, but she 717 00:35:38,820 --> 00:35:43,620 flipped her shit and I told Gemini afterwards I was like she 718 00:35:43,620 --> 00:35:45,980 totally was like either on drugs. 719 00:35:45,980 --> 00:35:50,100 Like she had just hit a chicken bone like prior to that's why 720 00:35:50,100 --> 00:35:52,500 she was in her car. But it was the weirdest thing 721 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:55,380 because this girl had like 3 million tick tock followers. 722 00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:59,500 Shows up so whimsical and sweet and just very nice. 723 00:35:59,860 --> 00:36:03,020 But then on the podcast with us, we never even aired it. 724 00:36:03,020 --> 00:36:06,820 She was like a raging bitch. And it was the weirdest thing. 725 00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:11,580 And I know that anytime that you have some type of notoriety or a 726 00:36:11,580 --> 00:36:14,780 platform or whatever, people always want to project their 727 00:36:14,780 --> 00:36:17,860 bullshit onto you. And that's why I like having 728 00:36:17,860 --> 00:36:20,020 guests turned into like, a hassle. 729 00:36:20,260 --> 00:36:23,660 Because people just treat their platform one way. 730 00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:26,420 And then we would have them on our podcast, They wouldn't 731 00:36:26,420 --> 00:36:27,820 promote it. They wouldn't talk about it. 732 00:36:27,820 --> 00:36:31,270 They wouldn't even tell like. We're not asking people to make 733 00:36:31,270 --> 00:36:33,590 a freaking sign and tell everyone that you were on the 734 00:36:33,590 --> 00:36:37,470 podcast, but to like, treat our platform with no respect. 735 00:36:37,470 --> 00:36:39,590 It was like, that is the weirdest shit. 736 00:36:39,590 --> 00:36:43,110 We are not airing this at all, so y'all don't want me to go 737 00:36:43,110 --> 00:36:45,430 stand on at 40 with a sign that says. 738 00:36:46,510 --> 00:36:49,670 I do want you to do that, and I want pictures and video. 739 00:36:50,550 --> 00:36:52,990 I'm going to show the girls while you do it because those 740 00:36:53,030 --> 00:36:54,670 pictures you took were looking hot. 741 00:36:54,670 --> 00:36:57,270 I'm getting pictures. You search movies. 742 00:36:57,430 --> 00:37:01,400 Or what she just I'm just getting more comfortable with 743 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,440 showing them now because like I said, I've just and it's 744 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:08,000 something that's like not like being his eye candy. 745 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,040 I guess there's arm candy or what not. 746 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,480 I've done security, I've D Jed, I've hyped me and I'm the 747 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,920 driver. I pack our bags, I do the 748 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,080 routing for everything where we stop, like where we like all of 749 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,040 it. He does find the restaurants, so 750 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,520 that is his job. He's got to find restaurants 751 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,720 around the road. But I've literally at shows, 752 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:30,600 I've gone from just talking to the promoter to them being like 753 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:34,320 a crazy fan walking up to him. And I've had the throat punch a 754 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,040 bitch before. And then I just go right back to 755 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,800 manager mode. Then everybody's like, how do 756 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,240 you do that? And I'm like, well, she's out 757 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,840 the way, come on, we got to keep doing what we're doing. 758 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:45,520 So, like, it's like, I hop through like hopscotch in the 759 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,360 different roles. Like throughout shows, it's 760 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:48,840 like, and I don't even think about it. 761 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,080 My husband's like, are you good? And I'm like, I'm fine. 762 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:52,640 What's up? What are we going to eat when we 763 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,040 leave the show? She's like, so. 764 00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:59,050 She's trying to find dinner after she just throat punched a 765 00:37:59,050 --> 00:38:00,970 bitch and everybody's like needing a minute to collect 766 00:38:00,970 --> 00:38:02,650 themselves and she's like, I'm fucking hungry. 767 00:38:05,610 --> 00:38:09,530 What do you think is the most exciting thing about working for 768 00:38:09,530 --> 00:38:12,490 yourself and being able to set your own schedules and kind of 769 00:38:12,490 --> 00:38:15,570 like have that collaborative partnership with him? 770 00:38:16,690 --> 00:38:21,920 It's like so like when I go into work mode, he'll usually kind of 771 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,840 that's when he kind of goes into his phone and listen to beats 772 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,600 and like we so we both kind of clock in and clock out together. 773 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,240 So on the flip side, it's literally like living every day 774 00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:34,120 with your best friend. Like all of it. 775 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:38,480 Like we get up, like we love playing pool now and he's kind 776 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:39,960 of mad that I've gotten really good at pool. 777 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,800 So like, I don't know what to tell him. 778 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,520 I was like, I'm quick learning, but we'll go play pool or we'll 779 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:49,420 like, we'll find a new place for lunch to go try it or we'll 780 00:38:49,420 --> 00:38:53,060 like, we'll find new movies like we're like movie and like TV 781 00:38:53,060 --> 00:38:57,180 like whores, like we watch everything like and then we like 782 00:38:57,180 --> 00:38:59,220 binge watch stuff. So we might have three days at 783 00:38:59,220 --> 00:39:01,820 home on the couch or we just watch the entire series and it's 784 00:39:01,820 --> 00:39:05,380 like the most fun for us. And like, if I can't make him 785 00:39:05,380 --> 00:39:08,660 laugh at least 9000 times a day, I'm probably doing something 786 00:39:08,660 --> 00:39:11,860 wrong with that day. What kind of movies and shows do 787 00:39:11,860 --> 00:39:15,100 you guys watch together? All of them. 788 00:39:16,650 --> 00:39:21,250 We both love horror movies. He actually has a whole sleeve 789 00:39:21,250 --> 00:39:23,530 of horror movies. And that was like, one of my 790 00:39:23,690 --> 00:39:26,010 tests, I guess you could say. And he was like, can you name 791 00:39:26,010 --> 00:39:28,890 all these horror movies? I'm like, are you joking right 792 00:39:28,890 --> 00:39:30,650 now? And like, I went down through 793 00:39:30,650 --> 00:39:32,850 every single horror movie he's got tatted on his arm. 794 00:39:32,850 --> 00:39:34,330 He's like, no one's ever done that. 795 00:39:34,330 --> 00:39:36,930 I'm like, well, who the hell have you asked to do that? 796 00:39:36,930 --> 00:39:39,490 It's like, the easiest thing I've ever done. 797 00:39:39,490 --> 00:39:41,530 He was like, well, apparently I've dated some dumb bitches. 798 00:39:41,530 --> 00:39:47,260 And I'm like clearly because like pretty like poltergeist and 799 00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:48,620 some girl said that was the ring. 800 00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:51,500 And I'm like there's First off the differences is 1 girl's 801 00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:53,460 coming out the TV and one's going into it. 802 00:39:53,460 --> 00:39:57,540 So that's completely unnecessary to miss in that question. 803 00:39:58,300 --> 00:40:01,060 I'm just imagining the pickup line and him just like throwing 804 00:40:01,060 --> 00:40:03,660 his arm down at the bar and being like, hey, can you, you 805 00:40:03,660 --> 00:40:07,700 know who these guys are? Well, his pickup line was sushi 806 00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:10,740 on a Wednesday. Well, first he, well, he came 807 00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:13,660 into my bar and he was like, so Nicole, when are you going to be 808 00:40:13,660 --> 00:40:16,580 single? And a friend of ours yell. 809 00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:18,900 He was behind the bar helping me and the other bartender. 810 00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:21,780 And he was like, she's gone through a divorce right now. 811 00:40:21,780 --> 00:40:23,860 And I looked at him. I'm like, really, bro, I'm up 812 00:40:23,860 --> 00:40:26,540 here just trying to be a little hoe and enjoy this like, single 813 00:40:26,540 --> 00:40:29,100 mom life and like, just go get what I want and go back home, 814 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,300 you know? And he was like, oh, really? 815 00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:34,060 He's like, so not, what are you doing when you get off? 816 00:40:34,060 --> 00:40:36,020 He's like, what about sushi on a Wednesday? 817 00:40:36,020 --> 00:40:39,900 I was like, I'll think about it. He's like, OK, so he leaves and 818 00:40:39,900 --> 00:40:41,980 he comes back and he's like, all right. 819 00:40:41,980 --> 00:40:44,540 He asked me like 3 times and finally I was like, all right, 820 00:40:44,860 --> 00:40:47,500 one sushi date. And I pinky promised him. 821 00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:49,180 And he, like, he didn't know I had kids. 822 00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:51,660 And I didn't really know he had kids. 823 00:40:51,860 --> 00:40:53,780 And so we pinky promise. He's like, you know, you can't 824 00:40:53,780 --> 00:40:55,860 break a pinky promise. I was like, oh, I know those 825 00:40:55,860 --> 00:40:59,020 things are sacred. And so we pinky promised on it. 826 00:40:59,060 --> 00:41:02,660 And then he that night, he ended up losing his his car keys or 827 00:41:02,660 --> 00:41:04,180 something. And they get homes like super 828 00:41:04,180 --> 00:41:07,180 late. And I was like, what do I text 829 00:41:07,180 --> 00:41:10,430 him like? And so I just text him. 830 00:41:10,430 --> 00:41:11,670 I was like, I made a pinky promise. 831 00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:15,390 And so we went our sushi date. And that's I think I've given 832 00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:16,830 him way more than one sushi date. 833 00:41:18,070 --> 00:41:21,150 Sushi's my favorite, and if anybody says that to me, I'm 834 00:41:21,150 --> 00:41:23,350 coming. I'm going to go with you for the 835 00:41:23,350 --> 00:41:27,030 sushi day. So what you bartended? 836 00:41:27,030 --> 00:41:30,030 Were you nursing and bartending? Yes. 837 00:41:30,030 --> 00:41:33,910 I used to nurse Monday through Friday, and then I bartended 838 00:41:33,910 --> 00:41:36,230 Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday 839 00:41:36,230 --> 00:41:40,010 night, and I nursed. I was a nurse from 7:00 to 3:00 840 00:41:41,010 --> 00:41:43,530 or like 8 to 4 doing wound care. I could kind of as long as I was 841 00:41:43,530 --> 00:41:45,730 there in the morning. And in my 8 hours I was good. 842 00:41:45,730 --> 00:41:49,730 So bartending was from like 9:00 PM till 5:00 AM. 843 00:41:50,290 --> 00:41:53,850 So Thursday night, all the way through Saturday morning, I was 844 00:41:53,850 --> 00:41:55,930 pretty much awake for like 2 days straight. 845 00:41:56,610 --> 00:41:59,290 And then I'd sleep all day, Saturday and Sunday, and then I 846 00:41:59,290 --> 00:42:01,810 go to work Sunday night and stay awake all the way through my 847 00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:05,570 Monday shift. So it was just like and I don't 848 00:42:05,570 --> 00:42:07,130 know how I did it. And I look back now I'm like, I 849 00:42:07,130 --> 00:42:10,570 can barely stay up past 11:00. How did I do three days a week, 850 00:42:10,570 --> 00:42:13,690 just no sleep? Did you have a good support 851 00:42:13,690 --> 00:42:17,410 system as a mom for getting help with your kids and stuff while 852 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:23,010 you were working that hard? So my mom, my mom's been 853 00:42:23,010 --> 00:42:24,050 awesome. She's always helped with the 854 00:42:24,050 --> 00:42:27,250 boys. The my younger one's dad is the 855 00:42:27,250 --> 00:42:30,010 one I was with when I was doing, being, doing nursing and 856 00:42:30,010 --> 00:42:34,340 barsending. He had gotten a day job, but if 857 00:42:34,460 --> 00:42:37,540 one of the kids got sick, he couldn't take off work. 858 00:42:37,700 --> 00:42:41,260 So I had to take off work and his check was only coming out to 859 00:42:41,260 --> 00:42:43,780 basically what daycare was. So I was like, dude, just stay 860 00:42:43,780 --> 00:42:46,060 home. I was like, it's really costing 861 00:42:46,060 --> 00:42:48,220 us money now because if I got to take off work, take care of the 862 00:42:48,220 --> 00:42:51,940 kids because they're sick and for daycare, and then if your 863 00:42:51,940 --> 00:42:54,420 check is just covering daycare and your lunches and really 864 00:42:54,420 --> 00:42:56,100 you're just getting up and going to work for no reason. 865 00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:59,260 So him like just kind of accepting the fact that like 866 00:42:59,260 --> 00:43:02,650 just go sit over there to take care of the kids while I go do. 867 00:43:02,650 --> 00:43:07,050 This was pretty much kind of how it was for like the year and a 868 00:43:07,050 --> 00:43:12,250 half I was with him. So you were only married for a 869 00:43:12,250 --> 00:43:14,450 year and a half? I don't even think we were 870 00:43:14,450 --> 00:43:16,170 married a year and a half a year. 871 00:43:17,290 --> 00:43:19,570 So it just didn't work and you just kind of knew it wasn't 872 00:43:19,570 --> 00:43:21,370 working well. I mean, we have. 873 00:43:21,690 --> 00:43:24,870 To get with low white, yeah, I mean there's a bunch of things 874 00:43:24,870 --> 00:43:28,350 that came along the way, but we are at a good place now and we 875 00:43:28,350 --> 00:43:30,430 have a kid together and he knows like, that's number one 876 00:43:30,430 --> 00:43:32,910 priority. So and of course it worked out 877 00:43:32,910 --> 00:43:36,070 for the better because I like have my like twin flame with me 878 00:43:36,070 --> 00:43:37,830 now. So and we're like super happy 879 00:43:37,830 --> 00:43:41,190 and living my best life with my best friend every day, so. 880 00:43:42,230 --> 00:43:45,110 So I want to touch on. I know. 881 00:43:45,350 --> 00:43:46,990 Little White strapping a new album. 882 00:43:47,670 --> 00:43:49,950 Yep. And I know that you've been 883 00:43:49,950 --> 00:43:52,870 talking about like. He needs to finish this album, 884 00:43:52,870 --> 00:43:55,830 he needs to go to the studio, he tell him to drop the album. 885 00:43:56,070 --> 00:43:58,870 So is that something that's already ready to go or there's 886 00:43:58,870 --> 00:44:02,630 still more things to do on it? So the entire album was done, 887 00:44:03,590 --> 00:44:07,590 they just got to get it mastered so that it sounds amazing, 888 00:44:07,590 --> 00:44:10,550 Everybody's system and on their base and all that cool stuff 889 00:44:10,550 --> 00:44:14,630 that everybody loves about new music, but other than that, it's 890 00:44:14,630 --> 00:44:17,510 all they're waiting on. All the songs are done. 891 00:44:18,860 --> 00:44:20,700 Has to sound good, like all those people. 892 00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:23,500 Like with that new music. Yeah he was playing one in the 893 00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:25,180 car earlier. I was like, I feel like my chest 894 00:44:25,180 --> 00:44:27,860 was being sucked into the back seat and he was like good. 895 00:44:27,860 --> 00:44:31,020 That's what we want. And I'm like, well, OK, next 896 00:44:31,020 --> 00:44:34,380 song can we go suck and breathe. So but there's some it's a 897 00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:36,500 everybody's going to love the album. 898 00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:40,820 It's so awesome and they've they've really taken their time 899 00:44:40,820 --> 00:44:43,900 on it and it's something that both him and Just In Time have 900 00:44:43,900 --> 00:44:46,500 truly enjoyed doing. The whole process. 901 00:44:47,020 --> 00:44:49,380 Like the two of them working together in the studio, they're 902 00:44:49,380 --> 00:44:52,940 actually, they remind me a lot of white and Jelly working 903 00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:55,020 together when they did. No filter, no filter too. 904 00:44:55,020 --> 00:44:59,660 They just kind of really play off of each other and there's 905 00:44:59,660 --> 00:45:04,020 like it's just a cool, super smooth like awesome vibe they 906 00:45:04,020 --> 00:45:05,980 have when they're together. So I'm like as long as y'all are 907 00:45:05,980 --> 00:45:10,780 happy, just record what you can do and however y'all want to do 908 00:45:10,780 --> 00:45:12,460 it and it's turned into an awesome album. 909 00:45:13,970 --> 00:45:17,130 I feel like White does really well with collaborations because 910 00:45:17,130 --> 00:45:20,690 no filter one is my favorite, but I really feel like he does 911 00:45:20,690 --> 00:45:23,610 well with that collaborative energy and that's probably why 912 00:45:23,610 --> 00:45:25,980 YouTube work. In such a collaborative way, 913 00:45:25,980 --> 00:45:29,220 Because when people are good at collaborating, you just get 914 00:45:29,220 --> 00:45:31,380 further. When you have your dream team 915 00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:35,820 and you have people like Gemini and myself, like we literally 916 00:45:35,820 --> 00:45:38,980 met because she found me from Bunny's podcast. 917 00:45:38,980 --> 00:45:42,060 Like, that's How I Met Gemini. So I was like, the one thing 918 00:45:42,060 --> 00:45:45,380 that I have in common with both of you is that Bunny brought 919 00:45:45,380 --> 00:45:48,980 both of you into my life. And it's just such a 920 00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:53,020 synchronistic event when you can find people who genuinely 921 00:45:53,020 --> 00:45:56,500 support your dreams and can. Build those dreams together 922 00:45:57,180 --> 00:45:59,620 well, that people with positive vibes attract people with 923 00:45:59,620 --> 00:46:01,900 positive vibes. And if bunny's not a positive 924 00:46:01,900 --> 00:46:04,420 vibe, like I don't know what you're looking for cuz I think 925 00:46:04,420 --> 00:46:06,940 if you look up positive vibes in the dictionary, her pictures 926 00:46:06,940 --> 00:46:10,460 like right there. So she's all, she's one of the 927 00:46:10,460 --> 00:46:15,180 biggest building positivity and like motivational person that 928 00:46:15,180 --> 00:46:17,620 I've ever met. And it takes a lot for me to 929 00:46:17,620 --> 00:46:18,820 just really be like, you know what? 930 00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,880 They are doing their thing. They're super motivational. 931 00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,880 And Bunny's literally been the exact same person from day one 932 00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,600 when I met her. And even just when Jelly first 933 00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,720 told us about her and that he was like, I'm going to marry 934 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:35,200 her, you could just The look he had in his eyes on that day is 935 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,400 the same look he has today when he looks at her. 936 00:46:40,090 --> 00:46:41,650 It's such a beautiful love story. 937 00:46:41,650 --> 00:46:45,250 It gives me code chills because if anybody really knows them on 938 00:46:45,250 --> 00:46:48,250 a personal level, like it doesn't matter what the Internet 939 00:46:48,250 --> 00:46:51,490 says or what people think about their relationship like, it is 940 00:46:51,490 --> 00:46:54,690 so genuine. And almost every time I do 941 00:46:54,690 --> 00:46:57,610 readings for her, she's always like, how's Jay? 942 00:46:57,610 --> 00:46:59,850 What's Jay doing? What can we talk about him like? 943 00:46:59,850 --> 00:47:01,210 She always wants to talk about him. 944 00:47:01,210 --> 00:47:05,690 And I actually back in December of last year predicted that he 945 00:47:05,690 --> 00:47:08,970 would win like two or three awards this year that they 946 00:47:08,970 --> 00:47:11,970 didn't see coming. So when he went to the CMA's and 947 00:47:11,970 --> 00:47:15,770 like won those awards, I was like, holy shit, Like, that's so 948 00:47:15,770 --> 00:47:20,570 crazy that I predicted that. Like, you know, I we always talk 949 00:47:20,570 --> 00:47:23,370 about like how some people do things for clout and some people 950 00:47:23,370 --> 00:47:27,290 do things genuinely, And I've just always, genuinely had a 951 00:47:27,290 --> 00:47:31,010 deep connection with her. So to see them kind of skyrocket 952 00:47:31,010 --> 00:47:34,610 into this public eye, it's so beautiful because you can just 953 00:47:34,970 --> 00:47:36,770 know that they're not going to switch up. 954 00:47:36,810 --> 00:47:38,930 You know what I mean? Like who they are is who they 955 00:47:38,930 --> 00:47:39,890 are. And I. 956 00:47:40,090 --> 00:47:44,690 Love how they both bring in so many people and like, promote 957 00:47:44,690 --> 00:47:47,650 them and talk about them and just really help other people 958 00:47:47,650 --> 00:47:50,370 get off the ground. It's like you don't find many 959 00:47:50,370 --> 00:47:52,490 people like that in any industry. 960 00:47:53,370 --> 00:47:56,930 No, we just got back from the four shows that 36 open for 961 00:47:56,930 --> 00:48:02,690 Jelly and when I can honestly first hand tell you that Bunny 962 00:48:02,690 --> 00:48:05,690 and Jelly are still the same Bunny and Jelly that you would 963 00:48:05,690 --> 00:48:09,580 have seen on the Internet five, 6-7 years ago as they are. 964 00:48:09,580 --> 00:48:13,540 When you still see them in that show, there's just a huge 965 00:48:13,540 --> 00:48:17,820 production team and fire on stage and louder music and new 966 00:48:17,820 --> 00:48:18,940 songs. That's the only thing that's 967 00:48:18,940 --> 00:48:21,500 changed. They are still 100% the same to 968 00:48:21,500 --> 00:48:23,820 the people that I've known since meeting both of them. 969 00:48:25,650 --> 00:48:28,970 There was somebody who, because you know Bunny does stuff behind 970 00:48:28,970 --> 00:48:31,330 the scenes all the time, but she'll she'll never like 971 00:48:31,330 --> 00:48:34,330 publicly say I helped with this or I did this for somebody or 972 00:48:34,330 --> 00:48:37,050 whatever. But somebody was inside of her 973 00:48:37,050 --> 00:48:41,330 Facebook section a couple of months ago and they posted a go 974 00:48:41,330 --> 00:48:43,570 fund me. And they were like, you know, I 975 00:48:43,570 --> 00:48:45,770 I don't know what health condition they had, but they had 976 00:48:45,770 --> 00:48:49,450 something going on and they were just talking about it in the 977 00:48:49,450 --> 00:48:51,170 comments. But they weren't asking her for 978 00:48:51,170 --> 00:48:53,650 help on anything. They were talking to somebody 979 00:48:53,650 --> 00:48:55,710 else. And she ended up commenting and 980 00:48:55,710 --> 00:48:57,790 was like, reach out to me, you know, whatever. 981 00:48:58,030 --> 00:49:00,790 And then I went and looked at the go fund me and it had been 982 00:49:00,870 --> 00:49:03,710 surpassed by like 20,000 or something like that. 983 00:49:04,030 --> 00:49:06,710 And the person was commenting and was like, Oh my gosh, thank 984 00:49:06,710 --> 00:49:08,950 you so much. Like you're such an Angel and 985 00:49:09,190 --> 00:49:12,150 whatever. And I think it's so beautiful to 986 00:49:12,190 --> 00:49:16,550 and so rare to find people in life who are genuinely just good 987 00:49:16,550 --> 00:49:20,430 people behind the scenes and want to help heal people and 988 00:49:20,470 --> 00:49:23,150 don't expect anything from it and. 989 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,960 And that's that type of energy that she has is like helping 990 00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,840 impact people in all of these different ways because she's 991 00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:34,680 doing things behind the scenes with expecting nothing back from 992 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,840 it. And then, you know, by being 993 00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:41,360 authentically who she is. I found her from way when she 994 00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:45,120 first was starting the podcast, before she started it, and then 995 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,680 she started the podcast and she had Paige on. 996 00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:52,920 And I started following Paige because of the podcast and then. 997 00:49:53,670 --> 00:49:57,710 Booked a reading with her and had this whole like like I 998 00:49:57,710 --> 00:50:04,590 literally spent like my last $100 on a reading and did a free 999 00:50:04,590 --> 00:50:08,030 reading and then did that one and I had this like crazy death 1000 00:50:08,030 --> 00:50:12,310 experience and she gave me all of this advice of like how I was 1001 00:50:12,310 --> 00:50:15,110 going to use my voice and turn this like situation into 1002 00:50:15,110 --> 00:50:17,310 something. So I started my own brand and 1003 00:50:17,310 --> 00:50:20,430 podcast off of that, and then she and I became friends and 1004 00:50:20,430 --> 00:50:23,510 started this podcast and like we it's. 1005 00:50:23,670 --> 00:50:25,750 Started off with who do you want to start a podcast together? 1006 00:50:25,750 --> 00:50:27,630 Her asking me. And then it's become this whole 1007 00:50:27,630 --> 00:50:31,190 fucking brand. And I get to, you know, have 1008 00:50:31,190 --> 00:50:34,670 that connection now, meeting you and other people through it. 1009 00:50:34,670 --> 00:50:38,590 And I just, you know, if Bunny hadn't been out here just living 1010 00:50:38,590 --> 00:50:42,070 her life authentically, I wouldn't have found Paige, I 1011 00:50:42,070 --> 00:50:44,510 wouldn't have found you. And I'm just super grateful for 1012 00:50:44,510 --> 00:50:46,430 that. Just like Circle of Energy. 1013 00:50:47,470 --> 00:50:49,630 I love it. I waited to get my first reading 1014 00:50:49,630 --> 00:50:51,470 from Page. When I got to, like, hug her in 1015 00:50:51,470 --> 00:50:54,230 person, I was like, all right, I want her to feel me. 1016 00:50:54,230 --> 00:50:56,310 And it was like, as soon as we hugged, you could just tell 1017 00:50:56,310 --> 00:50:59,550 like, Oh yeah, this is it. We're friends for life now. 1018 00:50:59,550 --> 00:51:02,030 And then I got my reading and I told her I was like, I wanted to 1019 00:51:02,030 --> 00:51:06,230 wait so you could like, like, physically feel my energy on top 1020 00:51:06,230 --> 00:51:08,150 of mentally and spiritually feeling it too. 1021 00:51:08,150 --> 00:51:11,710 And when she did that reading, I was like, holy shit balls, This 1022 00:51:11,750 --> 00:51:15,180 reading is awesome. My favorite part, We were at the 1023 00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:18,420 Nashville show and this was like, right when Need a Favor 1024 00:51:18,420 --> 00:51:21,620 just dropped that weekend and everyone around was like, this 1025 00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:23,620 is going to be the biggest song of Jelly's career. 1026 00:51:23,940 --> 00:51:25,020 And we're all just shooting the shit. 1027 00:51:25,020 --> 00:51:28,500 And then Little White walks up and I see, I didn't see Nicole 1028 00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:30,260 yet, but everyone was like Little White. 1029 00:51:30,340 --> 00:51:32,100 And I was like, Oh my gosh, there's Nicole. 1030 00:51:32,100 --> 00:51:35,500 Like, I just like. So I didn't even say a word to 1031 00:51:35,540 --> 00:51:37,340 him. I think it's strange when people 1032 00:51:37,340 --> 00:51:39,860 approach people's husbands without, like, acknowledging 1033 00:51:39,860 --> 00:51:41,740 their wife first. That's just not my vibe. 1034 00:51:42,100 --> 00:51:43,900 But I was like, Oh my God, Southern. 1035 00:51:43,940 --> 00:51:45,220 It's like a Southern thing for us. 1036 00:51:45,220 --> 00:51:47,900 I think it's like you've got like like you always take the 1037 00:51:47,900 --> 00:51:49,580 woman's order fires at a restaurant. 1038 00:51:49,580 --> 00:51:52,620 You always introduce yourself to one like, so I've got to remind 1039 00:51:52,620 --> 00:51:54,580 myself when we're other cities too, I'm like, all right, we're 1040 00:51:54,580 --> 00:51:56,420 not, but we're not in the Bible built anymore. 1041 00:51:56,420 --> 00:51:58,860 I got to like, remember we're in a whole different part of the 1042 00:51:58,860 --> 00:52:01,500 United States. I'm not Southern, but I want to 1043 00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:06,800 hit on your wife. Not everyone has etiquette, like 1044 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:10,000 when it comes to that. And so, like, everyone around me 1045 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,040 was like little white and freaking out. 1046 00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,320 And then I just like stepped to the side and it was just like me 1047 00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,880 and Nicole and we were just vibing and like and it was so 1048 00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,160 cool because. Seeing all of his friends come 1049 00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:23,240 in for that and just seeing all of us there and we were all 1050 00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:26,840 like, you know, just having a good time and genuine support, 1051 00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,480 it just really motivates me to just be the best person that I 1052 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,080 can be. Like that's what we want our 1053 00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:36,040 podcast to be, is just to motivate people to be 1054 00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,600 themselves, to be authentic, to be unique. 1055 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:42,200 And I really love that you all have started this like. 1056 00:52:42,750 --> 00:52:45,630 Health journey and like the sobriety journey, because I've 1057 00:52:45,630 --> 00:52:50,150 just learned so much of being sober and just taking my power 1058 00:52:50,150 --> 00:52:54,150 back from, you know, those vices, it really opens the doors 1059 00:52:54,150 --> 00:52:57,830 to so many like amazing experiences. 1060 00:52:57,830 --> 00:53:01,830 Because you know, alcohol just lowers our vibration, keeps us 1061 00:53:01,830 --> 00:53:05,590 in a lower state of operating in a lower energy field. 1062 00:53:05,910 --> 00:53:08,750 And I can just tell there is just something so different 1063 00:53:08,750 --> 00:53:12,350 about you lately and like most of your post instead of like. 1064 00:53:12,730 --> 00:53:14,690 Like you said earlier, explaining yourself, you're kind 1065 00:53:14,690 --> 00:53:18,210 of just like, fuck you all, like support me or not, I'm looking 1066 00:53:18,210 --> 00:53:19,850 hot today. You're going to like it. 1067 00:53:19,850 --> 00:53:22,890 And I've noticed like the interaction on your post have 1068 00:53:22,890 --> 00:53:26,930 like really elevated as well. Like a lot of support coming in. 1069 00:53:27,290 --> 00:53:30,290 And I think that's what's really cool about the Internet is it's 1070 00:53:30,330 --> 00:53:32,930 not all bad. You know we meet a lot of 1071 00:53:32,930 --> 00:53:35,970 amazing people through the Internet that we otherwise 1072 00:53:35,970 --> 00:53:40,290 wouldn't be able to meet. We. 1073 00:53:40,410 --> 00:53:44,010 So the biggest thing that a lot of people realize is, and this 1074 00:53:44,010 --> 00:53:46,170 is what I've reminded my husband, he's reminding me too 1075 00:53:46,170 --> 00:53:51,050 is like alcohol does or any vice does numb a lot of the bad. 1076 00:53:51,050 --> 00:53:53,650 But the more you numb the bad, you're numbing good stuff too. 1077 00:53:53,650 --> 00:53:57,090 So it's like you got to figure out like okay, I'm instead of 1078 00:53:57,090 --> 00:53:59,410 dealing with stuff, you're numbing it, but you're also 1079 00:53:59,410 --> 00:54:02,610 numbing any other positivity around it as well or any other 1080 00:54:02,610 --> 00:54:05,490 good stuff or good times or stuff like that. 1081 00:54:05,490 --> 00:54:10,840 So it actually has been like super easy for us. 1082 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,400 Like everyone's like I know it's hard and I'm like, I don't know, 1083 00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,200 I think we just both of us being ready and doing it together. 1084 00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:20,400 It's just it's just us now. It's so like only how to explain 1085 00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,320 it was just like it felt like it happened overnight for us. 1086 00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,360 Well, and that's dope too, to be able to. 1087 00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:30,640 Not a lot of people like each other when they're sober and 1088 00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:34,670 because. Alcohol numbs you out then It 1089 00:54:34,670 --> 00:54:38,750 also changes your emotional reactions to things too. 1090 00:54:39,030 --> 00:54:41,510 And so you're not genuinely feeling. 1091 00:54:41,510 --> 00:54:44,070 I feel like you're not genuinely feeling emotions that you think 1092 00:54:44,070 --> 00:54:46,790 you're feeling, which is why people will get, like, so angry 1093 00:54:46,790 --> 00:54:49,950 or they'll cry or whatever, just like because they're drinking. 1094 00:54:50,230 --> 00:54:52,950 And there are a lot of people that I met when I was drinking 1095 00:54:52,950 --> 00:54:56,350 that I didn't let or, you know, doing drugs in general that I 1096 00:54:56,350 --> 00:54:57,990 didn't. Something like when I got sober 1097 00:54:57,990 --> 00:55:01,230 and especially like dating people like I remember. 1098 00:55:01,670 --> 00:55:05,990 Taking Xanax when I was dating this one guy just because he had 1099 00:55:05,990 --> 00:55:10,390 weak Dick game and it was easier to like it if I was hooked up on 1100 00:55:10,510 --> 00:55:15,310 Xanax. We were walking to the airport 2 1101 00:55:15,310 --> 00:55:18,070 weekends ago is we're leaving the California shows and he 1102 00:55:18,070 --> 00:55:20,150 literally just stopped like in the middle of terminal. 1103 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:20,790 I was like what? He goes. 1104 00:55:21,550 --> 00:55:26,390 I can feel my feelings and I was like he's like not like. 1105 00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:29,680 I can feel it like he was like, he's like, I'm happy and like I 1106 00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,600 know what happiness feels like. And he's like, and I'm thankful 1107 00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:36,440 because they like the three six. Angeli handed him his flowers 1108 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:39,880 hundreds of times over these four shows and just was like, 1109 00:55:40,750 --> 00:55:42,390 like and told him how proud he was. 1110 00:55:42,710 --> 00:55:44,310 Everybody around him has told him how proud he is. 1111 00:55:44,310 --> 00:55:46,790 So he was like, we were literally on the way home and he 1112 00:55:46,790 --> 00:55:50,070 was just like, explain to me what being thankful feels like 1113 00:55:50,070 --> 00:55:52,270 and how it feels to actually feel happiness. 1114 00:55:52,270 --> 00:55:54,390 And I was like, I'm so proud of you. 1115 00:55:54,390 --> 00:55:56,110 I was like, now I feel like we're going to miss our flight. 1116 00:55:56,110 --> 00:55:58,950 So just keep that feeling and let's get down this terminal. 1117 00:56:01,710 --> 00:56:04,110 That was like, I was like a really proud moment too, because 1118 00:56:04,230 --> 00:56:09,580 I like for him to just feel, I guess it's like what he did, he 1119 00:56:09,580 --> 00:56:11,460 just like, it hit him like a ton of bricks. 1120 00:56:11,460 --> 00:56:14,220 He's like, I can feel and it kind of threw me off for a 1121 00:56:14,220 --> 00:56:16,020 second because I'm like, we're in the middle of an airport. 1122 00:56:16,020 --> 00:56:17,780 I was like, but I guess it doesn't really matter your 1123 00:56:17,780 --> 00:56:20,220 environment, when your body's and your mind's ready and it's 1124 00:56:20,220 --> 00:56:23,220 starting to like and he does stuff every couple of days, like 1125 00:56:23,220 --> 00:56:25,780 he'll realize stuff and he's like, I am firing on all 1126 00:56:25,780 --> 00:56:28,540 cylinders, let's go. I can do this like I like this 1127 00:56:28,540 --> 00:56:30,860 like so. And even our kids are like, 1128 00:56:31,180 --> 00:56:33,060 he'll say something and they're like, well, you didn't say that 1129 00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:35,660 and he's like, y'all, I was sober when I said it. 1130 00:56:35,660 --> 00:56:38,460 So I remember when I said it and I was just like, so like even 1131 00:56:38,460 --> 00:56:41,780 our kids like are like they'll do little things to like and be 1132 00:56:41,780 --> 00:56:43,540 like, OK, y'all staying on track. 1133 00:56:44,060 --> 00:56:46,380 So like they're our biggest supporters of all of it. 1134 00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:48,340 Like they tell us every other day or so. 1135 00:56:48,340 --> 00:56:53,100 Like, we're so proud of y'all. I'm so proud of you all because 1136 00:56:53,180 --> 00:56:57,340 getting sober is not supported. Like, it's very much frowned 1137 00:56:57,340 --> 00:57:00,900 upon for like from like, the people from your past, you know? 1138 00:57:00,900 --> 00:57:05,060 I know when I got sober. I'll have four years sober in 1139 00:57:05,060 --> 00:57:07,420 December from just like, all hard drugs and just 1140 00:57:07,420 --> 00:57:11,620 extracurricular activities. And I remember whenever it got 1141 00:57:11,620 --> 00:57:14,900 to the point that I would drink alone, that's when I knew I had 1142 00:57:14,900 --> 00:57:17,340 a problem. Like drinking wine alone. 1143 00:57:17,340 --> 00:57:20,180 And, you know, going through a bottle of wine a day. 1144 00:57:20,540 --> 00:57:23,820 It never seemed like a problem when I was out at the party. 1145 00:57:24,060 --> 00:57:26,380 But then when you literally have to. 1146 00:57:26,930 --> 00:57:30,490 Set with yourself and you can only be fucked up when you do 1147 00:57:30,490 --> 00:57:32,650 that. Like you don't want to be sober 1148 00:57:32,650 --> 00:57:34,930 and alone. That's when I was like we got to 1149 00:57:34,930 --> 00:57:36,690 draw the line here. Like this is getting out of 1150 00:57:36,690 --> 00:57:38,810 hand. And what's really interesting 1151 00:57:38,810 --> 00:57:42,850 for me is, you know, fentanyl has taken over the last like 4 1152 00:57:42,850 --> 00:57:47,040 years right before. When I got sober, fentanyl 1153 00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,640 wasn't a thing yet. Like, it hadn't hit the streets 1154 00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,600 yet. So I know that it was like 1155 00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,680 divine protection and intervention at that moment, 1156 00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:58,360 that that's when I got sober. And what's really ironic about 1157 00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:02,200 it is I had moved into a house that was like 20 years old, so I 1158 00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,120 didn't think anybody would have died in my house. 1159 00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:09,800 I mean, it's only 20 years old. A girl had overdosed and died 1160 00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:14,120 here in my house and I'm like, she was talking to me like she 1161 00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:17,800 helped me get sober because there was like, this, like level 1162 00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:21,240 of disgust that I started feeling towards myself of like, 1163 00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,880 why do you do that? Like, that's just not you. 1164 00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:27,160 It takes away those good things that you were talking about and 1165 00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:29,110 it's like. Only when you're tired of your 1166 00:58:29,110 --> 00:58:31,190 own shit are you going to make a change. 1167 00:58:31,430 --> 00:58:34,630 But having people who support that change is so important. 1168 00:58:34,870 --> 00:58:37,870 But I just found I had to drop most of those people because 1169 00:58:38,070 --> 00:58:41,030 it's those people still doing the same shit every day. 1170 00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:46,070 Yeah, it's but we've well, we kind of just support like so 1171 00:58:46,070 --> 00:58:49,930 we're always together every day. But him being going to rehab for 1172 00:58:49,930 --> 00:58:53,690 them 30 days and then me being at home, like we I had a couple 1173 00:58:53,690 --> 00:58:56,570 friends like of both of ours that would call and check on 1174 00:58:56,570 --> 00:58:58,450 both of us every day, though. Did you talk to him today? 1175 00:58:58,450 --> 00:59:00,130 Did you get out of bed today? You're not just. 1176 00:59:00,410 --> 00:59:02,810 And of course the kids were going to let me lay in bed and 1177 00:59:02,810 --> 00:59:05,650 be depressed or anything so I'd get up and make the bed and 1178 00:59:05,650 --> 00:59:06,850 they're like, I'm not. I was like, no, I'm up. 1179 00:59:06,850 --> 00:59:08,690 I got dressed. I'm not just smoking around the 1180 00:59:08,690 --> 00:59:10,210 house. I got stuff to do and we had 1181 00:59:10,210 --> 00:59:13,490 just moved. So we had boxes, we had pictures 1182 00:59:13,490 --> 00:59:15,850 to hang up. We still had so much unpacking 1183 00:59:15,850 --> 00:59:17,810 to do. So I was like, I think our 1184 00:59:17,810 --> 00:59:19,810 garage was like completely full of stuff. 1185 00:59:19,810 --> 00:59:22,010 And when he got home there's like, I think there's still like 1186 00:59:22,010 --> 00:59:24,850 10 boxes out there. He was like you've been working. 1187 00:59:24,850 --> 00:59:28,330 I mowed the yard, which I found out once he got home that had I 1188 00:59:28,330 --> 00:59:30,770 been pulling the other lever. It was self prepared, 1189 00:59:30,850 --> 00:59:35,210 self-propelled, and I've been pushing this mower of this giant 1190 00:59:35,210 --> 00:59:37,770 hill and he was like, oh, you really did work hard. 1191 00:59:37,770 --> 00:59:40,010 I was like I didn't know what that that thing was for. 1192 00:59:40,010 --> 00:59:42,410 I didn't know what brawl for me if I pulled that little button. 1193 00:59:44,090 --> 00:59:46,850 I'd have had to fucking YouTube how to use a lawn mower because 1194 00:59:46,890 --> 00:59:52,610 that's not what I'm doing. That's not my skill set. 1195 00:59:52,610 --> 00:59:55,530 I've never cut grass, You all, and I'm at this point in my 1196 00:59:55,530 --> 00:59:57,130 life. I would pay someone to cut the 1197 00:59:57,130 --> 01:00:00,690 grass if it needed to be done cutting grass. 1198 01:00:00,690 --> 01:00:02,730 You can lose fingers and I'm not. 1199 01:00:03,290 --> 01:00:06,210 I'm not with them. Dangerous. 1200 01:00:08,370 --> 01:00:11,040 So. On your spiritual journey, do 1201 01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:14,640 you feel like you are awakening to new parts of yourself that 1202 01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:18,080 you didn't even understand before with sobriety? 1203 01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:22,160 Because I know being sober is an awakening in itself because some 1204 01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:24,920 for some people it's a rude awakening and for some people 1205 01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:27,000 it's invited. But I feel like you're really 1206 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,040 embracing this journey and you're seeing all of that 1207 01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:33,520 growth. So do you feel like you're 1208 01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:37,280 uncovering new things about yourself that you didn't know 1209 01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:40,190 before? I think the biggest thing I've 1210 01:00:40,190 --> 01:00:44,110 realized is I'm accepting of myself a lot more. 1211 01:00:45,510 --> 01:00:49,430 And because you know you for the most part, you know yourself 1212 01:00:50,070 --> 01:00:52,750 throughout your life and I'm still healing something in 1213 01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:55,110 center. Note say I know myself all the 1214 01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:58,750 way deep down, but I think the first step I've taken is 1215 01:00:58,750 --> 01:01:02,230 accepting who I am and the things that I don't like about 1216 01:01:02,230 --> 01:01:08,380 myself and being okay with them and and just being more open and 1217 01:01:08,380 --> 01:01:11,900 not holding stuff in because I was really bad about like a 1218 01:01:11,900 --> 01:01:15,700 bottled up control freak. Like if you don't do it my way, 1219 01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:18,540 instead of just saying how why I wanted it done that way, I just 1220 01:01:18,540 --> 01:01:21,060 go and do it myself. And I hold everything in And 1221 01:01:21,060 --> 01:01:24,460 I've had to learn to like let go of some responsibilities so that 1222 01:01:24,460 --> 01:01:27,540 I don't bottle up feelings that really aren't necessary to 1223 01:01:27,540 --> 01:01:31,100 bottle up just because I want to make sure it's done my way. 1224 01:01:31,100 --> 01:01:34,220 So I'm accepting more. Accepting of myself so far. 1225 01:01:35,810 --> 01:01:40,610 I would be willing to take tips on that fucking lesson because I 1226 01:01:40,610 --> 01:01:41,970 have a really hard time with that. 1227 01:01:42,970 --> 01:01:43,930 It's bad. I wouldn't. 1228 01:01:43,930 --> 01:01:46,090 I like, I just now started letting the kids into the 1229 01:01:46,090 --> 01:01:47,570 dishwasher because I was like it. 1230 01:01:47,610 --> 01:01:49,290 The kids can help. I'm like, but I don't know where 1231 01:01:49,290 --> 01:01:51,450 I want the dishes put yet. So I'm trying to figure out the 1232 01:01:51,450 --> 01:01:53,970 system I like. He's like, well, you need to 1233 01:01:53,970 --> 01:01:56,370 figure out your system and give the kids some chores. 1234 01:01:56,370 --> 01:01:58,850 You don't have to do everything. And I'm like, all right, fine, I 1235 01:01:58,850 --> 01:02:01,250 know I want this stuff in this cabinet, like literally as 1236 01:02:01,250 --> 01:02:04,210 little as stuff like that. I just, I want everything done 1237 01:02:04,210 --> 01:02:06,360 the way I want it. My husband had to learn how to 1238 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,360 make the bed again. When he got home, he was like, 1239 01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:10,480 this is what we're doing. He was like, we're like hotel 1240 01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:11,960 style, folding our bed every day. 1241 01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:13,400 I was like, Yep, this is what we're. 1242 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:19,520 No, I learned from a very successful person who has been 1243 01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:21,640 in the corporate world for a really long time. 1244 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,840 They told me that the rule to success is to make your bed 1245 01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:29,400 every morning because if you make your bed, you won't get 1246 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:33,290 back into it. And before you've even really 1247 01:02:33,330 --> 01:02:36,770 got going for the day, you've already completed a chore or a 1248 01:02:36,770 --> 01:02:39,970 task. And they also said that it it's 1249 01:02:40,010 --> 01:02:43,490 very inviting when you come to get back in your bed and you 1250 01:02:43,490 --> 01:02:47,410 have to undo it and you know, fix the pillows or whatever. 1251 01:02:47,570 --> 01:02:50,130 But they said the number one rule to be in a successful 1252 01:02:50,130 --> 01:02:52,050 person is to make your bed every day. 1253 01:02:52,330 --> 01:02:54,650 And so when they told me that a few years ago. 1254 01:02:55,090 --> 01:02:58,330 I never made my bed previous. Like my bed was always a mess. 1255 01:02:58,530 --> 01:03:00,930 I sleep with a lot of pillows. It was always a mess. 1256 01:03:01,170 --> 01:03:05,610 But now I literally make my bed every morning, even like, I 1257 01:03:05,610 --> 01:03:08,010 start the coffee and then I go back to make the bed. 1258 01:03:08,170 --> 01:03:10,370 So then by the time I'm done, I have coffee. 1259 01:03:10,690 --> 01:03:14,410 But it's really amazing, like the how those simple tasks will 1260 01:03:14,410 --> 01:03:16,530 change the tone of your whole day. 1261 01:03:17,090 --> 01:03:20,970 And I just love that. You know, as you're growing, 1262 01:03:20,970 --> 01:03:24,530 you're realizing new things that make you happy or that make you 1263 01:03:24,530 --> 01:03:25,490 feel like. Peace. 1264 01:03:25,730 --> 01:03:27,730 And I think that's what this is really all about. 1265 01:03:27,730 --> 01:03:32,090 Like the spiritual journey is about peace and harmony, because 1266 01:03:32,090 --> 01:03:35,650 the world just profits from our unhappiness, whether we're using 1267 01:03:35,650 --> 01:03:41,010 alcohol or drugs or, you know, plastic surgeries or whatever it 1268 01:03:41,010 --> 01:03:44,050 is they're profiting from people being unhappy. 1269 01:03:44,050 --> 01:03:48,130 And the most rebellious thing we can do as humans is to love 1270 01:03:48,130 --> 01:03:50,210 ourselves and to accept ourselves. 1271 01:03:50,530 --> 01:03:53,650 And I think that that's wonderful because drugs and 1272 01:03:53,650 --> 01:03:56,410 alcohol. Became such a part of my 1273 01:03:56,410 --> 01:03:58,930 personality that I didn't know who I was either. 1274 01:03:58,930 --> 01:04:00,610 You know? Like, I didn't know I had all of 1275 01:04:00,610 --> 01:04:03,930 these amazing spiritual gifts. Like, I knew I knew when people 1276 01:04:03,930 --> 01:04:06,090 were lying. I knew I knew when people were 1277 01:04:06,090 --> 01:04:08,930 bullshitting me, but I didn't know I could turn this into 1278 01:04:09,170 --> 01:04:11,370 something that actually helped other people. 1279 01:04:11,490 --> 01:04:13,490 So I just love that. That's so wonderful. 1280 01:04:14,010 --> 01:04:17,050 I think the biggest illusion about giving up drinking and 1281 01:04:17,050 --> 01:04:20,940 drugs and stuff is like, you're still in that moment having fun 1282 01:04:21,020 --> 01:04:22,820 and the people around you love you. 1283 01:04:22,820 --> 01:04:24,300 They're like, oh, Nicole's awesome. 1284 01:04:24,300 --> 01:04:26,500 Oh, White's awesome. Like they always have fun and 1285 01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:29,820 like, it's so it's not really so much that people didn't like 1286 01:04:29,980 --> 01:04:32,980 being around us, but we were getting lost in the illusion 1287 01:04:32,980 --> 01:04:36,580 that it was okay to be loved under those conditions all the 1288 01:04:36,580 --> 01:04:39,820 time. So me being at home and him 1289 01:04:39,820 --> 01:04:42,500 being in rehab, and that was also the longest time we've ever 1290 01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:46,170 been apart from each other. Like, it was like like the 1291 01:04:46,170 --> 01:04:48,090 weirdest thing. But then we also realized how 1292 01:04:48,090 --> 01:04:50,730 connected we were because we have the same dreams at night. 1293 01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:54,610 He would be going to call me and I'd be picking up my phone to 1294 01:04:54,610 --> 01:04:57,570 see if I'd missed this call. Like, so we learned a lot about 1295 01:04:57,570 --> 01:05:00,410 ourselves individually, but also about ourselves together. 1296 01:05:00,890 --> 01:05:05,570 Like it was like, it was so refreshing all night. 1297 01:05:05,690 --> 01:05:09,120 It was just and then all the people that have our backs like 1298 01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:13,520 knowing that we're still that fun loving goofy couple sober is 1299 01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:15,400 like I know that was his biggest fear. 1300 01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:17,800 Of course man I'm over here and I'm like if they I was like they 1301 01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:21,320 wanted Nicole to do this, well this Nicole's a bitch so y'all 1302 01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:23,080 get ready. I'm still funny and goofy but 1303 01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:24,760 now I just my I don't give a fuck. 1304 01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:29,240 It's like turned all the way up. Like my filter is extra on point 1305 01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:33,330 now, like, but everybody's really just been so positive and 1306 01:05:33,330 --> 01:05:37,410 motivational and encouraging to him that it's helping him a lot. 1307 01:05:37,410 --> 01:05:41,210 Because I mean, he's been known as the party animal 36, Mafia's 1308 01:05:41,210 --> 01:05:45,770 party animal for 20 plus years. So it's like he had to take his 1309 01:05:45,770 --> 01:05:48,210 switch and completely turn it all the way down. 1310 01:05:48,210 --> 01:05:51,210 It's like it was more scary for him and for me. 1311 01:05:51,210 --> 01:05:52,290 I'm like, come on, let's just do it. 1312 01:05:52,290 --> 01:05:53,890 Like who? Fuck them folks. 1313 01:05:53,890 --> 01:05:55,250 Let's see what happens. So. 1314 01:05:56,450 --> 01:06:00,290 And it's like a new beginning too, and like a chance for 1315 01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:04,820 people to. Get to know and love somebody 1316 01:06:04,820 --> 01:06:07,620 who is taking care of themselves and who is coming from a 1317 01:06:07,620 --> 01:06:10,700 healthier mindset. And you really get to see the 1318 01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:14,300 people who are rocking with you for you and all versions of who 1319 01:06:14,300 --> 01:06:17,500 you're coming as. Because people can like that, 1320 01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:20,180 you know, you're you're the drunk person or the person 1321 01:06:20,180 --> 01:06:22,340 that's fucked up or whatever and and. 1322 01:06:23,020 --> 01:06:25,940 Numbed out and that they can disrespect you where they can 1323 01:06:25,940 --> 01:06:28,940 take advantage of you or pull the wool over your eyes in some 1324 01:06:28,940 --> 01:06:32,260 type of way. And if you do have any type of 1325 01:06:32,260 --> 01:06:35,330 like. I personally think when you're 1326 01:06:35,330 --> 01:06:38,490 walking through the airport and you have those like amplified 1327 01:06:38,530 --> 01:06:42,490 feelings and things like that, a big part of that is being your 1328 01:06:42,490 --> 01:06:46,410 own intuitive person. And there's so many bodies 1329 01:06:46,410 --> 01:06:49,490 inside of an airport and there's anxiety and there's fear and 1330 01:06:49,490 --> 01:06:52,290 there's excitement about going and seeing people and you can 1331 01:06:52,290 --> 01:06:55,810 feed off of those things. So if you're doing that where 1332 01:06:55,810 --> 01:06:59,770 you're not numbed out, you're getting to amplify that and turn 1333 01:06:59,770 --> 01:07:02,530 it into something positive instead of something that's 1334 01:07:02,530 --> 01:07:04,220 like. Really negative. 1335 01:07:04,460 --> 01:07:07,100 Something I've always told my husband because he doesn't like 1336 01:07:07,100 --> 01:07:10,020 flying and he's the person who's like, give me a Valium because I 1337 01:07:10,020 --> 01:07:11,540 have to fly. And I'm like really scared of 1338 01:07:11,540 --> 01:07:13,300 it. And I'm like, all that you're 1339 01:07:13,300 --> 01:07:16,140 doing is making yourself more susceptible to the energy of 1340 01:07:16,180 --> 01:07:20,300 other people scared around you. And then now you're just going 1341 01:07:20,300 --> 01:07:22,620 to be having a panic attack the whole fucking time because 1342 01:07:22,620 --> 01:07:24,420 you're open to all this different energy. 1343 01:07:25,580 --> 01:07:27,980 Oh, yeah, That was the first time for both of us flying sober 1344 01:07:27,980 --> 01:07:30,170 too. Like, because normally I would 1345 01:07:30,170 --> 01:07:32,410 even call my doctor, like, all right, I got to fly and he'll 1346 01:07:32,410 --> 01:07:35,570 call me in like a number of Valium for each flight I got to 1347 01:07:35,570 --> 01:07:37,370 take or whatnot. So I'm chilling. 1348 01:07:37,850 --> 01:07:39,890 Like we both were on there, just sober. 1349 01:07:39,890 --> 01:07:42,530 The same, I done bit a hole hole in my lip. 1350 01:07:42,530 --> 01:07:43,690 I'm like, so I'm playing. He's like, what? 1351 01:07:43,690 --> 01:07:46,110 And I was like, are we landing yet? 1352 01:07:46,150 --> 01:07:48,230 He was like, calm down. I'm like, I'm doing this. 1353 01:07:48,230 --> 01:07:49,750 I got your back. I'm doing this. 1354 01:07:49,750 --> 01:07:51,670 I'm not ordering no alcohol. I got you. 1355 01:07:51,670 --> 01:07:56,110 And, like, he like, so he got me a crossword puzzle book thing. 1356 01:07:56,110 --> 01:07:58,710 And then I started reading and he was like, don't forget your 1357 01:07:58,710 --> 01:08:00,150 book. And I'm like, all right, why are 1358 01:08:00,150 --> 01:08:02,750 you doing better at this? To me, like, I'm the one that 1359 01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:04,550 has your back. So it's been a couple like 1360 01:08:04,550 --> 01:08:06,550 situations like that where we both have had each other's back 1361 01:08:06,550 --> 01:08:08,150 and it's just like, all right, this works. 1362 01:08:09,510 --> 01:08:13,340 I think I'm being over. Illuminates so many amazing 1363 01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:16,580 parts of ourselves that we didn't even realize we're there. 1364 01:08:16,939 --> 01:08:19,779 And I feel like you're all support for one another has only 1365 01:08:19,779 --> 01:08:22,460 gotten stronger through this. And I think that's wonderful 1366 01:08:22,460 --> 01:08:27,380 because that shows like that's what people see and that's the 1367 01:08:27,380 --> 01:08:30,380 type of energy like that you want to show the world. 1368 01:08:30,380 --> 01:08:33,140 Like this is who we really are. And I mean. 1369 01:08:33,689 --> 01:08:36,649 Just going back to like what I said earlier, like hearing his 1370 01:08:36,649 --> 01:08:39,649 song at 11 years old. I didn't smoke, but my smoking 1371 01:08:39,649 --> 01:08:41,810 song was my shit. That was my jam. 1372 01:08:42,090 --> 01:08:44,689 But like looking back on that, like if you would have told 11 1373 01:08:44,689 --> 01:08:48,850 year old me listening to that on a literal Walkman that 20 years 1374 01:08:48,890 --> 01:08:52,490 in the future we would be here, Little White would be sober, we 1375 01:08:52,490 --> 01:08:56,010 would have his amazing hot wife on the podcast, or even that I 1376 01:08:56,010 --> 01:08:58,649 would have a podcast because that didn't exist yet. 1377 01:08:58,930 --> 01:09:01,160 It's just like. When you get out of your own 1378 01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:05,160 way, the universe has this amazing route for you, you know? 1379 01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:09,040 And I think drugs and alcohol, they just slow us down on our 1380 01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:10,920 path. Like you're going to get there. 1381 01:09:10,920 --> 01:09:12,640 It's just going to take you a lot longer. 1382 01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:16,479 Do you feel like he's making better music now than he's ever 1383 01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:19,920 made? So he acts so the songs for the 1384 01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:23,120 album actually already dropped. I think he's dropped. 1385 01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:28,399 He's done a like two or three verses since he's been sober, 1386 01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:33,880 and you can tell it's like a different sound and different 1387 01:09:33,880 --> 01:09:37,760 perspective, but he hasn't really just opened up that part 1388 01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:39,880 yet. Like, he still does things for 1389 01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:42,520 other artists when they get a verse from him on their song, 1390 01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:45,520 but as far as they're finishing up this project. 1391 01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:49,319 So it'll it'll be a a new thing to watch him work on his next 1392 01:09:49,319 --> 01:09:52,120 solo project with this new mind frame to see where he goes. 1393 01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:55,320 But even the way he talks about things and then stuff he talks 1394 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:58,640 about, you could already tell his gears are completely shifted 1395 01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:01,760 in a different perspective of everything. 1396 01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:05,480 He'll be super successful with it either fucking way. 1397 01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:09,000 I mean, I think so, but I'm slightly biased. 1398 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:14,550 A little bit so. So what's coming next for you 1399 01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:18,990 and like what you have going? I don't know, it's so weird. 1400 01:10:18,990 --> 01:10:22,950 So the name that rap guy's wife, people talking all the time like 1401 01:10:22,950 --> 01:10:25,470 well why don't, why do you want to just be that rap guy's wife? 1402 01:10:25,470 --> 01:10:27,310 And I'm just like, I'm just a behind the scenes person. 1403 01:10:27,310 --> 01:10:30,510 Anyways, I just got his back. So like lately everybody people 1404 01:10:30,510 --> 01:10:33,470 keep asking me to do a podcast Like this is the first one I've 1405 01:10:33,470 --> 01:10:38,430 ever done that by myself without just me being his addon. 1406 01:10:38,630 --> 01:10:41,750 And like, I hate the way my voice sounds on recordings. 1407 01:10:42,430 --> 01:10:45,070 And then like, I do so much other stuff. 1408 01:10:45,070 --> 01:10:46,950 I make excuses for myself. I'm like, well, if you do a 1409 01:10:46,950 --> 01:10:49,790 podcast, everyone else is already doing a podcast and then 1410 01:10:49,790 --> 01:10:52,750 you got to add in the extra work of editing it and recording it. 1411 01:10:52,750 --> 01:10:54,990 And then you start with all the doubt questions. 1412 01:10:54,990 --> 01:10:59,470 So I'm just kind of slowly just seeing where it takes us. 1413 01:10:59,470 --> 01:11:02,950 Like I think we should totally get go pros in the car and call 1414 01:11:02,950 --> 01:11:05,460 it Caddy fever. And because all the stuff we 1415 01:11:05,460 --> 01:11:09,260 talked about on the road, like, we are like stupid, funny when 1416 01:11:09,460 --> 01:11:10,820 we're on the road going somewhere. 1417 01:11:10,820 --> 01:11:14,100 Like we make up stories about the cars that drive past us. 1418 01:11:14,540 --> 01:11:16,980 Like like some guy will forget to use his blinker. 1419 01:11:16,980 --> 01:11:19,780 And I'm like come on Pat Paul. And I'm like, Oh well she's 1420 01:11:19,780 --> 01:11:21,380 sitting over there. She was giving him Rd. head. 1421 01:11:21,380 --> 01:11:23,460 He wouldn't even know that. I could see why he didn't use 1422 01:11:23,460 --> 01:11:24,820 his blinker. And they're like, well, no they 1423 01:11:24,820 --> 01:11:27,500 just left their son's house and he dropped out of call. 1424 01:11:27,500 --> 01:11:29,900 Like we just keep going and going and just make up these 1425 01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:34,130 random stories about people and like and it's I think it would 1426 01:11:34,130 --> 01:11:35,730 be like one of the funniest things in the world. 1427 01:11:35,730 --> 01:11:38,290 But then I'm over here. Like how do you do that? 1428 01:11:38,290 --> 01:11:39,730 Do you just record the whole thing? 1429 01:11:39,730 --> 01:11:43,170 So like, it's just a courage thing I guess, cuz I know I can 1430 01:11:43,170 --> 01:11:44,970 do it. I was able to figure out the 1431 01:11:44,970 --> 01:11:47,450 link to get on here with y'all, so I could probably figure how 1432 01:11:47,450 --> 01:11:50,380 to do all that. You could totally do both. 1433 01:11:51,060 --> 01:11:54,860 When we're done recording, we'll I'll message you in the group 1434 01:11:54,860 --> 01:11:58,900 chat that we have because we could totally help you with like 1435 01:11:59,100 --> 01:12:01,180 easily. Like we use a platform for 1436 01:12:01,180 --> 01:12:03,700 recording and editing the podcast and it's all in one 1437 01:12:03,700 --> 01:12:06,020 spot. And then also, yeah, if you 1438 01:12:06,020 --> 01:12:08,930 record the whole thing. And there's this app called 1439 01:12:08,930 --> 01:12:13,370 Inshot. And you can break down your your 1440 01:12:13,370 --> 01:12:16,210 video, cut it up, you can put in transitions in there. 1441 01:12:16,450 --> 01:12:18,770 It's all free. You can post that wherever you 1442 01:12:18,770 --> 01:12:20,130 want to. Like you could totally get your 1443 01:12:20,130 --> 01:12:22,610 own shit going. And then you could use your vlog 1444 01:12:22,610 --> 01:12:27,250 as your promo for your podcast. See, and the other thing that 1445 01:12:27,250 --> 01:12:29,170 everybody's been asking to do is a cooking show. 1446 01:12:29,170 --> 01:12:33,490 So, But the other thing we used to do is we would drink and cook 1447 01:12:33,650 --> 01:12:35,730 and it would just turn this whole comedy show. 1448 01:12:35,730 --> 01:12:37,610 And I'm just like when you're still cooking me funny. 1449 01:12:38,150 --> 01:12:41,110 So we're kind of debating if like how to go back towards that 1450 01:12:41,110 --> 01:12:45,550 because it's just a lot of our goofy stuff was us cooking and 1451 01:12:45,750 --> 01:12:49,150 having a good buzz and just being just super silly while 1452 01:12:49,150 --> 01:12:51,510 making them freaking 5 course meal, so. 1453 01:12:54,410 --> 01:12:56,130 Yeah, I was going to say, I think that this is an 1454 01:12:56,130 --> 01:12:57,770 adjustment. Like, you know, it's super 1455 01:12:57,770 --> 01:12:59,850 fresh. It's only a couple months, like 1456 01:13:00,210 --> 01:13:04,250 once you get your feet on the ground and this becomes like who 1457 01:13:04,250 --> 01:13:06,370 you are now. Because when you first get 1458 01:13:06,370 --> 01:13:08,610 sober, there's always those thoughts of like, what if I 1459 01:13:08,610 --> 01:13:10,130 relapse? What if I go back? 1460 01:13:10,130 --> 01:13:13,500 What if I accidentally? Take a drink or you know what I 1461 01:13:13,500 --> 01:13:15,020 mean? There, there are those intrusive 1462 01:13:15,020 --> 01:13:16,820 thoughts. So I would just say, like, for 1463 01:13:16,820 --> 01:13:20,580 anyone listening that wants to get sober or especially sober, 1464 01:13:20,860 --> 01:13:25,220 like those go away eventually. Like now I actually make fun of 1465 01:13:25,220 --> 01:13:28,220 that version of me that like used to do drugs and like think 1466 01:13:28,220 --> 01:13:30,980 that it was normal or even just think that it was like 1467 01:13:30,980 --> 01:13:33,780 sustainable. I think that's the great thing 1468 01:13:33,780 --> 01:13:36,620 about drugs and alcohol is that people think that's a 1469 01:13:36,620 --> 01:13:40,340 sustainable lifestyle. And my dad said it best. 1470 01:13:40,340 --> 01:13:42,220 Like when does the party end like? 1471 01:13:42,420 --> 01:13:44,780 One day you got to wake up and be like, enough is enough. 1472 01:13:45,140 --> 01:13:47,700 And when he said that to me, I was young, I was like 15. 1473 01:13:47,700 --> 01:13:51,180 It didn't make sense. But then, you know, at 27, 1474 01:13:51,180 --> 01:13:53,660 whenever I finally was like, I'm going to break away from this 1475 01:13:53,660 --> 01:13:57,620 lifestyle, I would have the most intrusive thoughts about, like. 1476 01:13:58,220 --> 01:14:00,340 Well, what if someone has it? Or what if you go to their house 1477 01:14:00,340 --> 01:14:02,580 and they offer it to you? Or what if you go here and you 1478 01:14:02,580 --> 01:14:05,100 know what I mean? Like you don't know and a part 1479 01:14:05,100 --> 01:14:09,260 of you feels not ready to like say, this is a forever choice, 1480 01:14:09,260 --> 01:14:11,100 right? Because you don't know. 1481 01:14:11,100 --> 01:14:13,780 And there's so many things that can change, especially with 1482 01:14:13,780 --> 01:14:16,220 being exposed to the music industry. 1483 01:14:16,540 --> 01:14:19,900 People just drink and do drugs. It's super acceptable. 1484 01:14:20,140 --> 01:14:23,460 It's super normal. So I think that shows a lot of 1485 01:14:23,460 --> 01:14:27,700 strength on Y'all's end because being completely exposed to it, 1486 01:14:27,700 --> 01:14:31,020 kind of like with Bunny, she's exposed to a lot of things that 1487 01:14:31,020 --> 01:14:33,620 like, it doesn't mean you have to do those things, you know, 1488 01:14:33,620 --> 01:14:36,700 just because they're there doesn't mean that's you anymore. 1489 01:14:36,700 --> 01:14:40,300 So I think that once you all continue on this path and really 1490 01:14:40,300 --> 01:14:44,180 have that strong foundation, like once you hit six months of 1491 01:14:44,180 --> 01:14:47,580 something, nobody can tell me shit like six months in the gym, 1492 01:14:47,740 --> 01:14:50,060 six months working out, you know, like you start seeing 1493 01:14:50,060 --> 01:14:52,060 changes, right? Or, you know, 6. 1494 01:14:52,140 --> 01:14:55,620 Months in sobriety, like you'll start seeing like a mental 1495 01:14:55,620 --> 01:14:58,260 change, a spiritual change of physical change. 1496 01:14:58,540 --> 01:15:02,380 And once you hit those miles milestones, like no one can tell 1497 01:15:02,380 --> 01:15:04,380 you shit. And I feel like you'll 1498 01:15:04,380 --> 01:15:06,500 definitely start a podcast because I love your voice. 1499 01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:09,740 I feel like it's really deep and it's stubborn and I think it's 1500 01:15:09,740 --> 01:15:15,020 like very different than any voice that I've heard and seeing 1501 01:15:15,020 --> 01:15:18,070 you out. Out in the world is like such a 1502 01:15:18,070 --> 01:15:21,270 wonderful thing because, you know, you don't even know what 1503 01:15:21,270 --> 01:15:23,230 you are here to offer the world yet. 1504 01:15:23,230 --> 01:15:25,070 You know what I mean? Like, you've been a mother, 1505 01:15:25,070 --> 01:15:28,390 you've been a provider, you've been the manager, you've been 1506 01:15:28,390 --> 01:15:30,510 behind the scenes. But like, what's the Nicole that 1507 01:15:30,510 --> 01:15:33,750 comes out on the stage that's like front and center? 1508 01:15:33,750 --> 01:15:35,990 You know, like, what's that version of you? 1509 01:15:36,350 --> 01:15:39,190 And that's what I think so beautiful about the journey, is 1510 01:15:39,190 --> 01:15:42,470 when you trust and you have faith in yourself and in your 1511 01:15:42,470 --> 01:15:44,870 partner. Magical things happen. 1512 01:15:44,910 --> 01:15:52,200 Like, no matter what, love it. Well, we are so grateful Jim and 1513 01:15:52,200 --> 01:15:53,680 I. Do you want to do the My Human 1514 01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:57,760 design card to wrap us up? I sure the fuck do let me grab 1515 01:15:57,760 --> 01:16:00,520 it. We will drop everything. 1516 01:16:00,520 --> 01:16:03,280 If you all want to go follow Nicole, we're actually going to 1517 01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:07,920 name this episode That rap guy's wife just because it's like your 1518 01:16:07,960 --> 01:16:11,080 brand. I think that whole like brand 1519 01:16:11,080 --> 01:16:13,960 and I just love this collaboration. 1520 01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:16,400 We are so grateful that you came on our. 1521 01:16:16,480 --> 01:16:20,800 Podcast like we definitely in the future can't wait till we 1522 01:16:20,800 --> 01:16:24,400 can record in person and have some boss ass studio. 1523 01:16:24,400 --> 01:16:28,000 So right now this little makeshift Zoom meeting is really 1524 01:16:28,040 --> 01:16:30,880 doing us well. But we are so grateful for you. 1525 01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:33,160 I loved it. Thank you all so much for having 1526 01:16:33,160 --> 01:16:34,160 me. You. 1527 01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:36,240 Are I. Have such a goal. 1528 01:16:36,240 --> 01:16:38,720 Okay. So I moved into this house. 1529 01:16:40,130 --> 01:16:43,530 July and I have literally been sitting on the floor in this 1530 01:16:43,570 --> 01:16:45,850 empty white room in this podcast room because I. 1531 01:16:46,090 --> 01:16:48,770 Don't know how to create it. So you were my motivation for, 1532 01:16:48,770 --> 01:16:50,410 like, I finally need to get a couch in here. 1533 01:16:50,730 --> 01:16:53,210 So I got a couch for my friend and we put it in here today. 1534 01:16:53,490 --> 01:16:56,810 And my husband's. Like, so you've been super 1535 01:16:56,810 --> 01:16:59,850 motivated to get this couch in for this interview. 1536 01:17:00,170 --> 01:17:02,770 But like, did you know that it looks like a porn couch? 1537 01:17:03,530 --> 01:17:06,130 And like the it's the fucking vibe. 1538 01:17:06,650 --> 01:17:09,490 And he's like, I mean Y'all's podcast is lick it like a 1539 01:17:09,530 --> 01:17:11,330 lollipop. It totally makes sense to have a 1540 01:17:11,330 --> 01:17:13,850 porn Co. I'm fucking saying y'all pop, 1541 01:17:14,050 --> 01:17:17,090 Y'all Popped my cherry on lick it like a lollipop while you sat 1542 01:17:17,090 --> 01:17:19,330 on a porn couch. So like complete circle. 1543 01:17:19,890 --> 01:17:22,130 Yes, I'm using that as promo, OK. 1544 01:17:23,540 --> 01:17:27,700 So the way that the human design deck works is it points out a 1545 01:17:27,780 --> 01:17:31,180 gift that you have or that you already have or that you're 1546 01:17:31,180 --> 01:17:34,460 going to be using to help you navigate through situations that 1547 01:17:34,460 --> 01:17:36,900 you're going through. And then it also points out a 1548 01:17:36,900 --> 01:17:39,260 shadow. So if you like, we have the full 1549 01:17:39,260 --> 01:17:41,420 moon going. So if you think about it from 1550 01:17:41,660 --> 01:17:44,020 like the moon aspect, that's that side that's like 1551 01:17:44,020 --> 01:17:46,860 illuminated and others are going to be able to see and then that 1552 01:17:46,860 --> 01:17:50,660 side that's like hidden away. So we got card number 4. 1553 01:17:51,210 --> 01:17:58,450 And the card is the bridge, the sign is Leo, the gift is 1554 01:17:58,450 --> 01:18:01,730 understanding, and your shadow is in tolerance. 1555 01:18:02,330 --> 01:18:05,450 You will reap the rewards of this gift when you finally let 1556 01:18:05,450 --> 01:18:08,410 go of the need to control everything with your mind 1557 01:18:08,730 --> 01:18:12,210 knowing that it cannot be the driving force of your decisions 1558 01:18:12,650 --> 01:18:15,410 at lower frequency. The mind tricks you into 1559 01:18:15,410 --> 01:18:18,690 believing that you are always right and the other is at fault 1560 01:18:18,690 --> 01:18:21,940 without fail. Beyond the mind, by way of 1561 01:18:21,940 --> 01:18:25,660 higher frequencies, you are able to achieve the objective of 1562 01:18:25,660 --> 01:18:29,260 understanding. Human beings are accumulation of 1563 01:18:29,260 --> 01:18:33,060 events, circumstances and fates. None of our relative 1564 01:18:33,060 --> 01:18:37,530 perspectives are absolute truth. With that, a world of 1565 01:18:37,530 --> 01:18:41,610 possibility opens up for you, and the bridge between you and 1566 01:18:41,610 --> 01:18:45,410 the other illuminates. No longer is reality a complex 1567 01:18:45,410 --> 01:18:48,370 puzzle to solve. You are able to lean into the 1568 01:18:48,370 --> 01:18:51,770 calm assurance of your inner guidance system and use your 1569 01:18:51,770 --> 01:18:55,690 mind for contemplation and play. When you are leading from this 1570 01:18:55,690 --> 01:18:59,410 gift, you are able to provide logical reasoning for others at 1571 01:18:59,410 --> 01:19:02,370 just the right time. And then your shadow is 1572 01:19:02,370 --> 01:19:06,230 intolerance. Quit the labyrinth, or quite the 1573 01:19:06,230 --> 01:19:10,270 labyrinth exists within this shadow, which presents as a 1574 01:19:10,270 --> 01:19:14,390 distorted reality fueled by an unreliable emotional state and 1575 01:19:14,390 --> 01:19:16,830 mind. The tricky part of this shadow 1576 01:19:16,830 --> 01:19:21,590 is it's convincing nature. This theme represents a very 1577 01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:25,350 common experience for humans, especially in earlier years. 1578 01:19:25,710 --> 01:19:29,750 A tendency to mistake our every emotion is true, paired with a 1579 01:19:29,750 --> 01:19:33,190 mind to back it up and provide evidence, however faulty. 1580 01:19:33,760 --> 01:19:36,920 When lost to this misrepresentation, you might 1581 01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:40,800 create entire storylines around a situation or event, though 1582 01:19:40,800 --> 01:19:43,440 only a kernel of truth exists within it. 1583 01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:47,680 Thus, this shadow outwardly appears as logic, but without 1584 01:19:47,680 --> 01:19:49,560 the sturdy framework of your sound. 1585 01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:53,840 In our guidance system, fear and projection become the defense 1586 01:19:53,840 --> 01:19:56,600 strategy. This might also manifest as a 1587 01:19:56,600 --> 01:20:00,200 tendency to provide logical answers all the time. 1588 01:20:00,650 --> 01:20:03,850 In other words, you may try to answer all questions everyone 1589 01:20:03,850 --> 01:20:06,290 has versus waiting for the appropriate time and 1590 01:20:06,290 --> 01:20:10,290 circumstance to arise. Your themes will be logic, 1591 01:20:10,330 --> 01:20:12,890 understanding, insight and clarity. 1592 01:20:15,130 --> 01:20:18,570 That was a good one. I think that just hit everything 1593 01:20:18,570 --> 01:20:23,370 we just talked about, you said. You know, I feel like this is 1594 01:20:23,450 --> 01:20:27,330 just a full circle moment and my inner child is thriving in this 1595 01:20:27,330 --> 01:20:30,960 space like I feel like. I have grown up to be that 1596 01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:34,440 person that 12 year old me would like really think as cool as 1597 01:20:34,440 --> 01:20:38,200 hell Just having you at beautiful ladies on here and 1598 01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:40,720 just like being able to collaborate, it just shows you 1599 01:20:40,720 --> 01:20:42,640 that like if you get out of your own way. 1600 01:20:43,440 --> 01:20:47,320 Magic happens and people can be powerful and collaborative and 1601 01:20:47,320 --> 01:20:50,840 have their own things going, but yet support one another in a 1602 01:20:50,840 --> 01:20:54,600 really amazing way. So Nicole, thank you so much. 1603 01:20:54,880 --> 01:20:58,720 We will have all of her information in the description 1604 01:20:58,720 --> 01:21:00,560 box. If you want to check her out, go 1605 01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:03,320 follow her and all of that good stuff. 1606 01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:07,200 So without further ado, we'll see you next time in Candy Land.