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He says she's so sweet, man. 
Come on over. 

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The rapper lit me like a 
lollipop lollipop lollipop 

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lollipop lollipop lollipop 
lollipop lollipop lollipop 

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lollipop swallow. 
Welcome back to another episode 

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of Candyland and this week we 
are going to be answering some 

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questions that were submitted 
online. 

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Yeah, it was awesome too, 
because we made Facebook posts 

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and we're like, what do you guys
like? 

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Give us questions, give us 
conversations, things that you 

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want to hear, like our opinion 
on, tell us different 

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experiences that you've had, 
whatever, get our opinion. 

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And I love that we're so 
different that whatever 

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viewpoint we give is going to be
probably different than the 

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other person. 
Definitely, definitely. 

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So let's start. 
Do you want to ask me a question

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from this list? 
Yes, I do. 

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Oh, I'm gonna ask you this one. 
After a breakup, have you ever 

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secretly hoped your ex would 
fail or suffer without you? 

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And what does that desire reveal
about your own healing process? 

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So I will say that in the past, 
I definitely felt like, oh, you 

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can't do better than me or I 
don't know if your life falls 

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apart without me. 
But now that I've learned like 

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the energetic laws, I do not 
send that type of energy out to 

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anyone. 
Like there have been people that

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have harmed me, that have hurt 
me, that have really done some 

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shady shit, but I just wish them
love and healing because at the 

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end of the day, hurt people hurt
people and they bleed on people 

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who did not cut them. 
And I just never want to send 

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that back out. 
But yes, unhealed 17 year old me

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would have literally busted the 
windows out of your car, 

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flattened your tire and not gave
2 folks. 

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Well there it is folks. 
I love your like this is what I 

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would want, but energetically 
I'm going to wish you the best. 

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So do you want me to ask you one
of the relationship ones? 

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Oh, you can. 
Have you ever felt like you 

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unconsciously sabotaged a 
relationship to test how far 

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someone would go to keep you, 
and how did their response 

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change your viewpoint of them? 
No, I've never purposefully 

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sabotaged something. 
I think that if you're going to 

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put your time and energy into 
something, you should be doing 

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that and letting people show up 
the way that they're going to 

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show up. 
I don't see a point in you 

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changing your behavior or your 
character to make somebody act a

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certain way. 
And that goes like negatively or

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positively. 
Like, I don't want to be in 

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control of like making somebody 
show up a certain way. 

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I just want that to be the way 
that they show up. 

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And then I can maneuver if I 
like that or not. 

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And I think that if you have to 
sabotage things in order for 

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somebody to show you that they 
care, that's fucking wack. 

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You know, with you saying that, 
I also have decided recently, 

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like I'm just going to let 
people be who they are and then 

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decide is that enough for me? 
I'm not going to go in here 

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trying to change you, telling 
you what I want, telling you 

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what I need. 
I'm just going to decide like is

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that enough for me what you are 
already providing? 

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Well, because The thing is that 
when you're constantly saying 

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it, people can change their 
action and their energy to give 

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you what you're wanting versus 
them showing up as they're going

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to show up and you're deciding 
if that works for you. 

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And I think that's where people 
get fucked up is they're like, 

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oh, well, these are all of the 
things that like I need to be 

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happy and then they get those 
things and then there's no more 

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need to put in effort anymore. 
Or you also stop. 

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I feel like you also stop 
appreciating things too when 

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you're constantly having to 
verbalize it. 

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It doesn't make it as nice and 
enjoyable when it's happening 

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because it's only happening 
because you said something. 

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Yeah, like if I come home and I 
have to tell you to take the 

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trash out or tell you to do 
things that should just be 

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normally, like in your routine, 
it's going to frustrate me, 

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which that goes back to why I 
don't live with people. 

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I think that just helps my 
peace. 

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I do think though, that it's 
important to tell people when 

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you appreciate things because 
that can go the complete 

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opposite of like if somebody 
does do those things but you 

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don't show that you have an 
appreciation for it one, and 

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they don't know that you like 
that it's being done, and two, 

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why the fuck am I going to keep 
doing something when I do it and

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you don't even care anyways? 
Yeah. 

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And I think a lot of men don't 
realize what women do for them 

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in relationships until they're 
single and they're eating like 

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pork and beans on a paper plate 
in their dirty ass underwear and

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they have no. 
Clothes awful. 

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Yeah, like, no clean towels, no 
clean work uniform, and they're 

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sitting there eating cold shit 
from a can because they decided 

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they didn't need an oven 
anymore. 

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You know, Like, I just think so 
many people don't realize what 

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women are doing and bringing to 
the table until it's removed. 

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And I feel like in 
relationships, so many people in

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our age range are just 
codependent because of financial

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reasons. 
Like a lot of people are 

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codependent on their partner 
because of a lifestyle. 

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Because I've had women come to 
me and get readings and they're 

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like, well, if I left my 
husband, my kids would have to 

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leave private school. 
We would have to relocate. 

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I'd have to give up my car. 
I couldn't work full time, you 

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know, whatever it may be. 
And I think so many people are 

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afraid of the lifestyle change 
that comes with making decisions

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that you want to make. 
So multiple things, I think that

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if you are like trying to be 
getting into a new partnership, 

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like something so that you so 
that it's not like this is all 

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the things that the women are 
providing and whatever. 

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And like men can't do anything 
on their own. 

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Getting people who do, do things
for themselves and do take care 

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of themselves, whatever and are 
changing what your standard and 

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expectation is and getting out 
of the mindset of like, it's 

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your responsibility to like just
take care and, and cater to 

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somebody else and like have them
as your child. 

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It should be your partner. 
And we've all gone through that.

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So if like people are looking 
for new relationship dynamics, I

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think that's a really important 
one is like, you know, finding 

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people who are sustainable on 
their own to be able to like 

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take care of themselves. 
And then I've always said, I 

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think that it's super important 
like on for me personally on 

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finance things like I have 
always been a huge supporter of 

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having separate accounts and 
having separate things and 

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pulling things in together. 
And that was one of the, and, 

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and I've talked about it on the 
podcast. 

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One of the biggest fucking 
benefits of like my divorce 

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thing was the fact that I always
kept my finance stuff separate 

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and that wasn't something that 
had to be untangled. 

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So when it came to like me 
getting a different place or me 

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doing something, I'm a 
completely separate entity 

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that's able to move and navigate
and figure my own shit out and 

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have no entanglement on that. 
Not that you shouldn't do things

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together and pull money together
and figure things out, but it 

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shouldn't be that. 
It's I would be so uncomfortable

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with just one bank account that 
everything is done with. 

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Like I, that is a personal thing
for me. 

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And I think that women 
especially aren't taught that 

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like independence thing. 
And that goes back to like you, 

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you weren't able to vote. 
You were only able to get a 

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house because your husband had a
house. 

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You weren't able to have your 
own finance and whatever. 

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And we that just needs to be 
switched up. 

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It's it's the codependency 
versus the partnership is a huge

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thing. 
Everything should be entangled 

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in that way. 
But there's still a way for you 

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to be a cohesive unit together 
as one, while still having your 

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separate individuality as 
people, financially and 

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emotionally. 
Do you think considering that 

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was truly just like 2 to 3 
generations ago of women, that 

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that is still being heavily 
taught and influenced to women? 

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Because I know, like my 
grandmother lives in a fear 

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based mindset and whenever I was
trying to like energetically 

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help her untangle those limiting
beliefs, like growing up and 

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with parents that grew up in the
Great Depression and just being 

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like alive in the, you know, in 
those hard times has shaped my 

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grandmother to really consent to
limiting beliefs. 

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Like whether she and my grandpa 
worked all their life and saved 

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everything or not. 
Like they've never been able to 

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truly get ahead because they 
don't know how to manage money. 

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Once they get some, they spend 
it, they gamble it, you know, 

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they, they dry it up. 
So my big thing recently, my 

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grandmother a couple years ago 
inherited a bunch of money and 

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it was almost kind of like a 
manifestation that that happened

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the way that it happened because
like my uncle literally left my 

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grandmother everything like 12 
cars a paid for home hundreds of

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thousands of dollars. 
And me and my grandmother 

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started having a little beef 
over that because she doesn't 

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know how to manage her money. 
They both work their whole life 

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they're in their 70s, but they 
still have 3 mortgages on their 

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home because every time they get
a little equity, they take out a

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second mortgage and they go 
gamble it or whatever it may be.

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So I was just really triggered 
and I just was at this point 

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where I was like, Grandma, look,
pay off your house, get a new 

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roof, get windows, things that 
you need for this home. 

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And I don't care if you like the
rest of the money on fire or if 

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you gamble it or whatever you do
with it. 

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And at first she was like 
fighting me on this. 

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And I was like, look, lady, 
you're going to pay your house 

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off. 
That's not because I need to 

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make sure that when you all blow
this money that there's no more.

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I'm on a fixed income, I'm 
struggling. 

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We don't have food, you know, 
we're broke. 

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So she did all of that. 
And I can just see how the 

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stress has like left her body. 
Like me and my mom were talking 

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about how her and my grandfather
have more energy now than they 

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did in their 50s. 
Because when you take money 

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stresses out of an equation, the
vitality and the expression that

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you can have because you're no 
longer stressed about those is 

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like so different. 
And so now like they're out 

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popping their shit. 
Like they're out on the 

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weekends. 
Eight, 9:00 And I'm like, 

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where's my grandmother? 
Why is she not home snowing, 

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raining out and about? 
Just. 

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Doing the most and it's really 
mind blowing, but I, I see that 

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as like a way that's helping my 
grandmother extend her like life

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force energy by not stressing 
about that. 

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00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,880
But I believe because she was 
taught that she's embedded that 

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into my mom, which has made my 
mom very limited, whereas I had 

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used to feel those ways. 
But I've like broke that cycle 

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because I'm not going to live in
limitation. 

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00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,720
I didn't come here to suffer. 
I didn't come here to worry. 

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00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,320
I, I wouldn't have chose to come
to Earth if I had to do those 

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00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,800
things. 
Like I'm not doing them. 

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00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,280
So my grandmother and them 
couldn't understand my like 

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00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,000
driven mindset before. 
But like, now all of a sudden 

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00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,400
they're like, OK, I get it. 
Like treat yourself, you know, 

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00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,000
like do something nice for 
yourself. 

202
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,960
But you know, think money 
changes people. 

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00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,800
Yeah, but that's a part of that,
like generational healing. 

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00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,200
Like people think about 
generational healing as being 

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00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,920
like the way that you're going 
to influence your kids and what 

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00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,480
you're going to change moving 
forward. 

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00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:38,160
But there is like generational 
healing from doing things 

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00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,600
differently and then showing, 
you know, your grandparents, 

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00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,000
your parents, whatever, how 
things are different. 

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00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:49,760
There are a lot of things that 
I've done that my mom and my dad

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00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,880
have been like, oh, that's not 
going to be a thing or you can't

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00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,680
do it that way or you should do 
it this way, whether that be 

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00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:58,440
relationship things or, or 
raising kids or like my 

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00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,400
businesses. 
Like they just think that of 

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00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,600
them being like, oh, yeah, 
you're totally going to make an 

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00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,720
income not going to a 9:00 to 
5:00 every day. 

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00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,440
And like, you know, like that's 
not something that they ever saw

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00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,640
either. 
And so it changes their mindset 

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00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:15,360
too. 
But you some people can only see

220
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,600
and understand things that like 
they're witnessing themselves 

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00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,480
and they don't know how to think
outside of the box and how to do

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00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,880
things differently. 
And I'm constantly having to 

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00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:29,160
remember that so that I don't 
get like resentful and angry 

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00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:35,080
about certain things because 
people will only support you as 

225
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,520
much as they're like mind and 
understanding can let them. 

226
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,000
And everything else is going to 
be a talking you out of it or a 

227
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,920
talking you down because they 
just can't fathom. 

228
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,440
And not everybody can think 
beyond the box. 

229
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,560
And just like for an example, 
when I started my business, 

230
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,360
everyone in my family was like, 
you'll never make money doing 

231
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,520
that. 
I don't know what you're doing. 

232
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,200
You're not going to leave your 
job, are you Like you're not 

233
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,360
going to give up your your job 
for this, are you? 

234
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:08,560
Like so much fear based 
information was like being 

235
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:12,400
projected onto me. 
And I've really seen how my 

236
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:17,600
parents have like, awakened 
watching me decide against all 

237
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,040
the rules and doing things my 
own way, like you said. 

238
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,400
And now my dad completely went 
into retirement. 

239
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,680
He's getting 90% of his veteran 
benefits. 

240
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,880
When he was willing to settle 
for 50%. 

241
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,560
He was like, if I could just get
50, I could maintain, I could 

242
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,160
get my insurance, I'd do good. 
And I'm like, dad, you served 

243
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,440
our country. 
You busted your fucking ass. 

244
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:39,080
You never my dad. 
I had a full ride to college to 

245
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,720
play football and went to the 
Army and said because he had no 

246
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,800
guidance, no support and no one 
to back him and push him to do 

247
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,560
that. 
And I know he regrets it. 

248
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:51,440
Like I know he has regrets. 
So now my dad has been able to 

249
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,960
like, take his power back. 
And like the last year, he's 

250
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,760
been able to like, recalibrate 
and nap and relax. 

251
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,200
And like, now my dad's like 
eating gummies and smoking and 

252
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,040
like chilling and growing his 
hair out. 

253
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,400
And I don't even know who he is.
Like he's became one of my best 

254
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,520
friends. 
Like we have gotten so close as 

255
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,920
he sees what freedom I was 
talking about. 

256
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,640
Like why are we settling for 50 
when we could get 90? 

257
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,320
Like, you know, why would we 
settle? 

258
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,040
And that's what I kept telling 
him, like stop putting that out 

259
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,840
there that you're willing to 
settle for that. 

260
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:24,200
Like non negotiable. 
You are entitled to this. 

261
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,320
He's not asking for a handout. 
He served our fucking country. 

262
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,080
He put his life on the line. 
You know, he deserves these 

263
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,480
benefits and this insurance and 
he just couldn't wrap his head 

264
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,880
around that reality. 
And now like a year into it, my 

265
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,040
dad's like he's sold. 
He's sold like so many of his 

266
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,880
possessions. 
He's gotten rid of all of his 

267
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,000
like, garage collectibles, all 
of his Harley stuff. 

268
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:49,080
Like he's just decompressing and
releasing attachment that I feel

269
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,840
like so many people don't 
realize is ruling their life. 

270
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:57,640
Yeah, but that's also due to the
fact that you're telling him 

271
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:01,560
what his worth is and then 
supporting him standing on, hey,

272
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,560
I'm worth more than this or I've
done this. 

273
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:07,160
It's not inconvenient for me to 
want to do this or, or I do 

274
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,000
deserve this. 
And that is its own thing 

275
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,600
altogether aside from like the 
monetary like game that he's 

276
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,720
getting it. 
And whatever is you being like, 

277
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,720
these are all of the things that
you've done and the way that you

278
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,920
know, the effort and the energy 
that you've put in and the way 

279
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,960
that you've influenced things 
and taking care of other people 

280
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,320
and whatever. 
And This is why you deserve this

281
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:34,760
like small piece back. 
And that comfortability and 

282
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,720
confidence in somebody's self is
so needed to be able to do the 

283
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,160
types of work that you and I do 
with doing things for ourselves.

284
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,720
Not just like a, you know, on a 
spiritual level or whatever, but

285
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,200
just on a fucking business 
level, believing that you're 

286
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,160
able to do something and being 
able to put in that time and 

287
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,880
energy. 
It's, it's like always funny to 

288
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,200
me when people think that like 
if you're working for yourself, 

289
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:01,000
then you're taking like an easy 
route or like, oh, well, that's 

290
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,120
like, you know, whatever, 
because you're not going to work

291
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,360
every day. 
And so like you don't have 

292
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,280
responsibility. 
And I'm like, I will literally 

293
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,920
be sitting here recording 
something at 9:00 at night 

294
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,360
because, you know, I'm 
maneuvering around kids or other

295
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,720
things. 
And, and you don't get a fucking

296
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,320
break. 
If you're working for yourself, 

297
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,720
you're constantly figuring out 
how to do something different 

298
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,760
and do something better and, and
what that looks like. 

299
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:25,880
And then fucking stressing 
because you're in charge of all 

300
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,320
your shit. 
You don't get to just go, Oh, 

301
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,400
OK, well, I know that this is 
exactly what I'm going to be 

302
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,040
making this month because of 
this. 

303
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:36,280
Like they're that's not a thing.
And it's like a, Hey, I got a 

304
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,800
hustle and grind because this 
thing came up and now I've, you 

305
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,680
know, whatever. 
And we've talked about that 

306
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,640
before because people will get 
upset sometimes about pricing of

307
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:50,760
things or like what we charge. 
And, and that's anybody, there's

308
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:55,160
a fucking people selling crazy 
shit for crazy ass amounts of 

309
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,120
money that they're hand making. 
And it's because of all the 

310
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,040
time, energy and effort that's 
going in behind the scenes what 

311
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,480
they're doing. 
So, you know, sometimes you look

312
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,720
at somebody and go, Oh, well, 
you're charging a whole lot for 

313
00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:07,359
thought. 
Well, yeah, you have no fucking 

314
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,359
idea how much energy and time 
goes into it behind the scenes 

315
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,040
and the fact that we are have 
real fucking lives that we have 

316
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,800
to pay for. 
And the answer that the thing 

317
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:21,440
about being in business is like 
I can attest that like last year

318
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,400
I had this big month in 
September like Bunny re shared 

319
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,480
my interview and it sold out my 
books for like 3 months. 

320
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,600
So I literally made all the 
money that could be made in 

321
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,760
September but there was no more 
availability in the other 

322
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,600
months. 
So therefore October was like a 

323
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,160
$300.00 a month, November was 
like a $400.00 a month, you 

324
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:44,000
know, but all of a sudden in 
September, it like was more than

325
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,480
I had made almost the whole year
in one month. 

326
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,400
And that's what people don't 
realize. 

327
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,800
Like you can invest in yourself 
and you can do everything right.

328
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:57,320
And then say you sell 10 small 
items that that sell up your 

329
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,600
schedule versus the 10 big 
items. 

330
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,160
There's no way to average like, 
oh, I'm going to book $10100 

331
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,280
readings this month and I'll be 
good for rent. 

332
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,720
No, because people might book 
$1050 readings and take just as 

333
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,200
much as your schedule and people
don't realize that. 

334
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,960
And I think that with spiritual 
services in past lives, it was 

335
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,960
very much on a barter trade kind
of thing, like the medicine 

336
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,360
woman and the healer of the 
community. 

337
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,960
It was very much on trade, like 
the healers of the community did

338
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:25,800
not work. 
Y'all. 

339
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,120
Y'all traded and murdered. 
Y'all brought me food and wheat 

340
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:33,440
and whatever was available and 
we traded and bartered. 

341
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:37,800
And that's what I think people 
in the spiritual arena a sell 

342
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,120
themselves short. 
They think, oh, I've got to help

343
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,440
people. 
I'm being selfish. 

344
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,840
I've got to give, give, give. 
And then we drain ourselves or 

345
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,640
there are like way in their ego 
and just way out there. 

346
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:53,000
Like I'm sorry, no one on this 
earth is worth $500.00 for 10 

347
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,120
minutes. 
I'm sorry, you're not worth it. 

348
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,960
Not worth it to me, Not worth it
to them. 

349
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,200
I'm sorry. 
I've seen people talk about like

350
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,560
10 or 15 spells for $6000. 
Not worth it. 

351
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,240
You do you, but not worth it. 
I don't give a fuck what the 

352
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,200
results are. 
I don't care if Marilyn Monroe 

353
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,880
is going to come down and speak 
to me after you do that lower. 

354
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:16,920
It's not worth $6000. 
But some people do that because 

355
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,400
they want to work less. 
They don't really want to 

356
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,680
provide value. 
Like. 

357
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,960
If I price myself out of the 
range of people who really need 

358
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,520
my help, people who are really 
struggling that I am a fucking 

359
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:33,000
selfish person, mainly because 
I'm putting myself in this 

360
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:37,520
utopian arena that's like, oh, 
you have to be really on your 

361
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,520
shit to book with me. 
Well, those aren't people who 

362
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,560
really need us, you know? 
So I think the evolution, like I

363
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,720
have a $33 reading all the way 
up to a $200 reading. 

364
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,040
So I feel like I am hitting 
realms like where everyone has 

365
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,320
access. 
But The thing is, is like, 

366
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,600
people don't realize what goes 
into that. 

367
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,320
And if I do 5 or 6 readings in a
week, how that affects my mental

368
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:03,240
health, People telling me like, 
I was raped or I was this or I 

369
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,560
was that. 
Like, it's heavy. 

370
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,040
You all. 
It's not just like, oh, puppies 

371
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,120
and rainbows, you're going to 
win $1,000,000 this year. 

372
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,800
It's like, yeah, my dad beat me 
until I was 12 and now I'm 

373
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,840
suffering still, you know, Like,
that shit weighs in on you. 

374
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,520
And people come to us in 
vulnerable moments. 

375
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,720
And I just don't think you can 
put a price on that. 

376
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,480
But if you go way too far out of
the realm, you're not going to 

377
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,280
help people. 
Either. 

378
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:31,480
It's way easier for me to like, 
give time and energy to those 

379
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,640
types of like traumatic energy 
things too, when we're having a 

380
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,920
mutual energy exchange. 
What, as opposed to like I get 

381
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:43,800
people who will inbox just the 
longest, most traumatic fucking 

382
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,160
tale. 
And I used to read it and be 

383
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,080
like, Oh my gosh, like, how can 
I help? 

384
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,640
And, you know, whatever. 
And now I'm like, I look at your

385
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:55,520
message and you know, I skim it 
real quick and fuck that. 

386
00:20:55,520 --> 00:21:00,040
Like because that that is it's 
literally fucking rude to me 

387
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,200
when people will message a 
stranger or even if you know me,

388
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,680
but you know that I'm doing 
something as a service and 

389
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,160
you're like, I'm going to tell 
you just the most crazy ass 

390
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,480
traumatic fucking shit. 
Take time out of your day and 

391
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,160
your energy. 
Have you thinking about this 

392
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:18,720
crazy stuff and then not 
prioritize your time or or 

393
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:25,640
whatever. 
And I, I like the clients who 

394
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,800
have like real shit that they're
working through. 

395
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,520
I like that a whole lot more 
than the people who do want the 

396
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,040
puppies and fucking rainbow 
thing. 

397
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,520
Because everybody's been through
something. 

398
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,040
Everybody has something going 
on. 

399
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,520
If you get a reading and your 
fucking gum drops and rainbows 

400
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,360
the whole entire time, I know 
that you're not actually doing 

401
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,480
any of the work that you're 
trying to do for your healing 

402
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,880
journey. 
So it makes me really feel like 

403
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:51,000
you just wanted something 
surface level and somebody to be

404
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,720
like, you're on the right track 
and you're doing fucking good. 

405
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,640
And there are people that really
like that. 

406
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,920
That's an easy client. 
That's super simple. 

407
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:04,480
You and I are not easy fucking 
people and we're not easy client

408
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,240
people. 
We like the like darker souls 

409
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,880
and being able to help like with
that healing journey and stuff. 

410
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,320
But that only happens when 
people are willing to show up 

411
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,360
and be vulnerable about things. 
We're willing to show up and be 

412
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:19,080
like, you have my full time and 
attention right now, all my 

413
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,720
energy, like, let's talk about 
that. 

414
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:26,200
But some people cannot show up 
and be present for themselves in

415
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,920
that way and be able to like be 
open and expand. 

416
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,400
So if you guys are listening and
you're thinking like, oh, I 

417
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,240
really do want to get readings 
or whatever, it's not a scary 

418
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:38,080
thing to get a reading. 
But if you're going to get a 

419
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,480
reading with either one of us, 
that's going to be a like look 

420
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,880
at things from different 
situations and you actually 

421
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,480
wanting to improve things and do
better versus we're not going to

422
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,720
be yes men. 
We'll hype you up, but we are 

423
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:54,880
not the yes men type of people. 
Yeah, I think what I love about 

424
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,360
doing readings is like the 
vulnerability that I can have 

425
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:02,000
with a stranger, like meeting 
someone on a video chat for the 

426
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,640
first time and have an hour with
them and, like you said, giving 

427
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,400
them my undivided attention. 
I'm not checking messages. 

428
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:08,640
I'm not looking over to the 
side. 

429
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,960
Like I am focused on our 
conversation. 

430
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,240
And I feel like that's such a 
testament to my personal journey

431
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,480
of like feeling alone, feeling 
like people didn't understand 

432
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,560
me, and then being able to sit 
down with a stranger and just 

433
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,360
read their soul blueprint like a
book and be like, hey, this is 

434
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,040
what we're doing this. 
You need to stop talking to 

435
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,840
yourself like that. 
You can't let this person 

436
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,320
manipulate you anymore. 
And the whole time I can see the

437
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,560
look on people's face because 
they're like, holy fuck, this 

438
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,000
girl is hitting everything that 
I'm feeling. 

439
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:40,360
And sometimes I think people 
keep the walls up with the 

440
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:44,080
people close to them and they 
don't know how to be vulnerable 

441
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,200
and they don't know how to be 
seen because a lot of the times 

442
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,120
the people in our life will 
dismiss our feelings. 

443
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,080
They'll say, oh, you're just 
being dramatic or oh, you're 

444
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,840
that's not a big deal or why are
you making that a big deal or 

445
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,400
something like that. 
And I feel like sitting down 

446
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,520
with a stranger and having that 
stranger like validate you and 

447
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:07,880
see you, it changes the way that
I view the world because I see 

448
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:12,080
like a, we're not alone. 
We're not as different as we may

449
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,560
think. 
A&B. 

450
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:17,240
There is a way to bridge the gap
between the unknown. 

451
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,880
Like just because we don't know 
each other doesn't mean that 

452
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,800
spirit or the angels or 
ancestors know any boundaries 

453
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,840
with that. 
Like you do an energy change. 

454
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,480
We set a circle, baby, and it's 
ready. 

455
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,080
But I think so many people 
underestimate what being 

456
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,360
completely vulnerable and open 
to the session means. 

457
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,600
Until somebody has had that type
of work and that type of 

458
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,600
session, though, I feel like 
it's really hard for somebody to

459
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:51,960
be prepared like it there's, 
there's not really a way to 

460
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,840
explain. 
And so, you know, I'm sure you 

461
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,400
get it too. 
But people ask me like, what do 

462
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,040
I do to prepare for that or 
whatever? 

463
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,360
And I'm like, just come to the 
appointment like completely open

464
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:02,880
to whatever happens and 
whatever. 

465
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,400
And a lot of people, instead of 
just being open and being like, 

466
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,880
OK, these are the messages that 
are coming through whatever. 

467
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,960
And these are the areas that 
this makes sense and that like I

468
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,280
feel vulnerable in. 
It'll be, well, this particular 

469
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,120
part doesn't make sense to me or
I don't know what to do with 

470
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:22,000
this particular piece. 
And they like cherry pick out. 

471
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:26,040
And that's a part to me on 
focusing on the negative instead

472
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,480
of focusing on the positive 
things that are happening. 

473
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,360
And that is something that like 
I'm working with my son on on 

474
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,920
readjusting his thinking to 
things and that I'm working on 

475
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,880
really hard too, is. 
And if you focus on all of those

476
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,760
things, if you go into the 
reading and you're focusing on 

477
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,280
the 20% of what isn't making 
sense to you in this moment, the

478
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,760
other 80% of bomb ash shit that 
I just said to you goes 

479
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,800
completely over your head. 
And then what did you just spend

480
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,760
your, you know, $100 or whatever
on for this reading? 

481
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,720
Because you are so focused on 
what you didn't get out of it 

482
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,600
versus all these other areas 
that you could be like, damn, I 

483
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,200
need a little bit of expansion 
on this. 

484
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,280
Can we talk about this? 
Can we talk about that? 

485
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:13,520
And outside of readings, that's 
something like that is really 

486
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,720
pivotal and changing your 
instant reality is you don't 

487
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,960
have to be like, I want 
everything to be positive all 

488
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,440
the fucking time, but shit's 
going to really fucking suck if 

489
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,040
all that you care about is all 
the negative and trauma and 

490
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,680
things that have happened versus
the positive things out of it. 

491
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,080
You can have a bunch of trauma 
and chaos that you've been 

492
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,000
through, but what are the 
lessons that you learned out of 

493
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,240
it? 
And how are you applying that to

494
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,960
move differently? 
You can have really shitty toxic

495
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,920
relationships. 
What are the things that you 

496
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,200
learned about yourself out of 
that or that you you know that 

497
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,040
you would want different? 
And then how do you apply that 

498
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,800
so that you can start changing 
things? 

499
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,600
And that's where people get on 
these fucking cycles where 

500
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,560
they're constantly like, is it a
karmic cycle? 

501
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,000
Is it whatever? 
No, you just don't fucking heal 

502
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,640
past anything. 
And you're thinking about all 

503
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,560
the bullshit all the time, so 
you can't see how to navigate 

504
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:08,480
differently. 
I think that so many people go 

505
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:12,600
back and get advice from people 
who don't have your best 

506
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:17,320
interest in mind that benefit 
from you not having boundaries. 

507
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:21,280
You know, whenever I was going 
into my spiritual journey, the 

508
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,320
people from my past, especially 
people I was close with, really 

509
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,000
started to crank up the 
projections. 

510
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,520
Like I remember people being 
like, just because you read 

511
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,800
Tarot doesn't mean you're better
than me or just because you give

512
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,720
me your old clothes doesn't mean
you're a good friend or just 

513
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:40,800
because you helped buy my kids 
Christmas, it's not good enough.

514
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,920
You know, like I've helped 
people that I would never 

515
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,600
publicly tell people, Oh, I 
helped them or I did that for 

516
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,880
them or I bought that for them. 
But at the same time, it seems 

517
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:55,400
as if people, the more you get 
notoriety, the more that you are

518
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,760
confident, the more that you are
being seen out in the world in 

519
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,400
ways maybe they wish that they 
could be seen. 

520
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,680
It's jealous and envious. 
And it's always the people who 

521
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:09,320
are closest to you when you were
at your worst that don't 

522
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,200
necessarily want you to grow. 
Because I've seen a lot of 

523
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,600
people, monthly clients, like, 
have to move on from 

524
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,800
relationships either with their 
mom or their partner or their 

525
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,880
sisters completely. 
Like no contact with these 

526
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:26,240
people because their partner 
doesn't support them or their 

527
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:31,040
mom keeps them small or 
invalidates their feelings or 

528
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,200
their sister steals from them 
or, you know, wants money all 

529
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,640
the time or whatever it may be. 
There's so many things that in 

530
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:43,160
our life we come to terms to 
accept that is not good 

531
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,920
behavior. 
It is not quality relationships 

532
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,600
that we're settling for. 
And I feel like the most 

533
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:52,440
important thing is understanding
that being alone doesn't mean 

534
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:57,800
that you're lonely. 
I think that if you constantly 

535
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,720
have the same group of people 
and you're never outgrowing 

536
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,680
people, it's fucking weird. 
Like there's, there's different 

537
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,840
types of people that you're 
going to have and there's people

538
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:09,440
who are going to be like, you 
look up to them and that is 

539
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,400
like, and energy that you 
haven't attained yet and you 

540
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,040
appreciate certain things about 
it. 

541
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,320
And you're like, damn, like I, I
like this. 

542
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,960
I want to level up to this, 
whether that be like this person

543
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,120
is a homeowner and this person 
has great credit and this 

544
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,120
whatever. 
Like, you know, that's something

545
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,440
that you, you're inspired by 
that person. 

546
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,400
It's an inspirational person on 
an energy frequency that like 

547
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,360
you appreciate and you want to 
work towards. 

548
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:36,240
There are people who you're 
going to outgrow and be like, 

549
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,080
OK, well, I used to be friends 
with them and they don't level 

550
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,720
up at all. 
I'm working on all of these 

551
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,400
things. 
I have to leave that behind. 

552
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,360
And that is what you're talking 
about with the like having to 

553
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,280
cut off sisters and moms and 
whatever because they don't 

554
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,080
grow. 
And then you have the people who

555
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:57,200
are working on themselves too 
and where your energy, it's not 

556
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,560
always at the same time that you
have that energetic grow up, but

557
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,200
it's the fact of like you guys 
are in tandem working on doing 

558
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,600
better for yourselves. 
And so you're able to constantly

559
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,120
be like, you know, helping each 
other and boosting each other 

560
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,520
up. 
And you're always going to have 

561
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,800
those three different dynamics 
of people around you. 

562
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,800
Regardless of how often you're 
cutting people off, there's 

563
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:25,040
always somebody new who you 
know, you shouldn't give your 

564
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,160
time and energy to. 
And I feel like that's a 

565
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,400
constant lesson. 
And it's not, it's not always, 

566
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:36,560
you know, made known to you that
they're pulling you down or 

567
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,040
whatever until you do cut that 
off. 

568
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,840
And you're like, holy fuck, I 
gave so much energy and time to 

569
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,000
this over here that I couldn't 
see all of these other dynamics 

570
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,360
here that I could have been 
putting my time and energy into.

571
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:52,160
And I think some people just 
like a lesser version of us, 

572
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:56,800
like they just like you small. 
Are they like you depressed or 

573
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,960
they like you doing drugs or 
they liked you when you were 

574
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,160
broke or when they were doing 
better than you. 

575
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:06,640
And I think what is important to
remember is that your growth is 

576
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,600
a constant reminder that they 
are staying the same. 

577
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,920
It's a constant reminder that 
they put you in a box that you 

578
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,600
have exceeded past that you have
just completely went 

579
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,360
out-of-the-box and prove them 
wrong. 

580
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:25,280
And I honestly believe a lot of 
women are like decentering men 

581
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,360
from their life, like they're 
decentering needing to be in a 

582
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,080
relationship or needing to have 
a partner or needing these 

583
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,440
things. 
And then you get to set with, do

584
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:37,040
I actually like this partner? 
Do I actually love this person? 

585
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,280
Is this person bringing value to
my life or is it just comfort? 

586
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,400
Is it just physical? 
Is it just monetary or whatever 

587
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,480
it may be? 
And I think that as anyone who 

588
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:50,440
grew up in the 90s, like between
Disney movies and TV, men are 

589
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,200
centered in a woman's life as 
being the most important thing. 

590
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,440
If you don't have a man and you 
don't have children, you ain't 

591
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,080
shit. 
And that's what Disney has 

592
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,320
pretty much told us. 
I mean, every story, whether 

593
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:04,680
it's Pocahontas or whoever, men 
are in the center of the 

594
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,400
storyline. 
And it's always about some man, 

595
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,520
some man. 
And I just feel like that washes

596
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,280
little girls to think like if 
they don't have a man, that they

597
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,880
can't be happy. 
And I think I also felt that way

598
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,480
for a long time, Like what's 
wrong? 

599
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:20,920
Why don't I have a man? 
Why? 

600
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,960
Why haven't I started a family? 
But then when I got like a 

601
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,040
little more grounded and 
centered, I started seeing that 

602
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,880
it was actually a blessing 
because most people ages 30 to 

603
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:35,360
35 have already had a divorce. 
And I'm like, I statistically 

604
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,240
have avoided my first divorce. 
That's pretty much what I'm 

605
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,320
feeling because collectively 
it's a big percentage of people 

606
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,040
that are getting divorced in 
those ranges. 

607
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,120
Yeah. 
But something that you something

608
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:51,760
that you do have and have done 
that I feel like a lot of people

609
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:56,920
don't figure out until their 30s
is that you had very or you have

610
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,680
not had. 
You currently do still very 

611
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,720
specific expectations and 
requirements of things that 

612
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,320
you're not willing to budget on.
You know exactly certain things 

613
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,560
that are very important to you 
inside of a partnership and you 

614
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,760
have a certain place that you 
are wanting to be at for 

615
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,800
yourself in a certain way that 
you see your life going. 

616
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:21,200
You've had that at a younger age
than most other people because 

617
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:25,040
most other people have to go 
through trials and tribulations 

618
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,280
in order to learn those things 
about themselves and in order to

619
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,760
learn those types of dynamics 
with other people. 

620
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,920
I, I feel like that was my thing
for myself. 

621
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,360
I had to figure out the things 
that are like hardcore values 

622
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:46,680
and expectations to me and like 
requirements of myself, of other

623
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,520
people around me and also figure
out like what type of 

624
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,200
friendships do I want to have? 
Because outside of like that, 

625
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,520
that's fine and dandy inside of 
like romantic relationships, but

626
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,000
it's just as important inside of
personal friendships that you 

627
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,640
have with people too. 
To be like. 

628
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,760
This is the requirement that I 
have inside of friendships and 

629
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,640
the way that I want to feel when
I'm around my friends and the 

630
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,520
types of things that I want to 
do with friends and the way 

631
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,040
that, you know, I want them to 
support me and show up. 

632
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:18,199
And that I think that the 
friendship aspect has been 

633
00:34:18,199 --> 00:34:19,679
harder for me than anything 
else. 

634
00:34:19,679 --> 00:34:22,520
I've gone through a lot of 
different friends and, and a big

635
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:26,679
point being that I've put myself
and it's a, we've talked about 

636
00:34:26,679 --> 00:34:30,000
it before and you fucking 
roasted me for it recently, but 

637
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,880
it's the fact that I put myself 
in the position of, oh, I can 

638
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,639
help you with that. 
I already have, you know, this 

639
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:40,960
business established. 
You do AB and C. 

640
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,600
Let me do everything for you. 
There's a difference between 

641
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,800
supporting somebody doing 
something and figuring it out on

642
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,920
their own and being there and 
figuring out how to like help 

643
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,040
with that. 
And then being like, oh, you 

644
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,760
literally like, I'm fucking 
baking a pie and you can't even,

645
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,960
you know, grab the flour. 
Don't worry, I'll do everything.

646
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,200
I'll bake the fucking pie. 
And then you could put your 

647
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,160
fucking label on it and say that
it's yours. 

648
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,440
And I think that's a trauma 
response of like, not feeling 

649
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,120
included. 
Yeah, bitch, I got trauma. 

650
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:13,800
Like not feeling included in the
past. 

651
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,080
Like you built a community where
in the past I feel like you were

652
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,880
more isolated. 
Like you had your intimate close

653
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,520
friends and close knit family 
members, but you didn't have 

654
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:27,640
people on the Internet looking 
at you or talking to you or 

655
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,400
judging you or praising you. 
You didn't have any of that. 

656
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,840
And I think that in the past, 
you couldn't see your own light 

657
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,760
until you started to show it to 
the world and people were like, 

658
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,760
wow, your light is so bright. 
I can see it. 

659
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,280
And I think that instilled 
confidence in you that you 

660
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,120
couldn't get from people in your
life because they benefited from

661
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:49,080
you being small. 
They benefited from you being 

662
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,120
less than. 
Just like some of the comments 

663
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,280
we won't name drop that people 
have said to you like, I never 

664
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,160
thought you could do it. 
I didn't think you would be able

665
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,280
to do what you did. 
That comes from their insecurity

666
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,680
and benefiting from your lack of
confidence. 

667
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,160
Because the moment that 160,000 
people were like, we fuck with 

668
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,560
this bitch, other people in your
life really started to get 

669
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,160
triggered, really started to 
feel some type of way. 

670
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,440
And I think that's a testament 
that some people fall in love 

671
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,200
with a lesser version of us or 
they are more comfortable with a

672
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,040
lesser version of us. 
I know when I used to have like 

673
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,560
an eating disorder and be really
like hard on myself, I would 

674
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,400
allow people in my life that 
were not good for me, people 

675
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,040
that would bring me down, people
that would manipulate me. 

676
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,800
But then when I started taking 
my power back from that, those 

677
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,960
people were so triggered. 
So triggered. 

678
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,560
And that's where the shade and 
the comments of like, you're 

679
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,400
better, you think you're better 
now and all that. 

680
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,600
I never said that. 
I never said that I think I'm 

681
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,280
better. 
Just because someone else in the

682
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,040
world is recognizing that I have
value doesn't mean that all of a

683
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,720
sudden I think I'm better than 
people. 

684
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:55,760
But I think so many people seek 
outside validation even if they 

685
00:36:55,760 --> 00:37:00,080
think they're not doing that. 
Yeah, I think it's, I think it's

686
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,640
like an act of ignorism. 
Like I don't think that people 

687
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,920
are doing it on purpose all of 
the time. 

688
00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,680
I don't think that people go, 
oh, well, I really like the 

689
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,000
small version of you because of 
whatever. 

690
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,680
But it's true. 
Like it's, it's easier to, you 

691
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,600
know, have somebody around if 
they're not sharing their big 

692
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,520
opinions with you or it's easier
for you to feel intelligent if 

693
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:25,320
I'm not, you know, talking about
things that you don't understand

694
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:29,000
or have a comprehension of 
because it makes you feel feel, 

695
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:33,000
you know, unvalidated. 
It's easier for you to be 

696
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:37,560
comfortable about something if 
if the person doesn't leave the 

697
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,120
house and you never have to 
wonder what they're doing as 

698
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,040
opposed to being like, OK, I'm 
going to trust that they're out 

699
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,720
there doing what they're doing. 
I'm out there doing what I'm 

700
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:45,760
doing. 
When we meet up at the end of 

701
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:50,840
the day, you know, so there's 
all these that, but that goes 

702
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:54,120
back into what we were talking 
about earlier where I was saying

703
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,680
that a lot of people have to 
have these experiences, 

704
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,800
relationships, friendships, 
whatever, in order to understand

705
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,400
like, this is fucked and I don't
like it. 

706
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,480
Whereas for you, that's just 
something that you already know.

707
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,560
You see everybody around you 
having these experiences and 

708
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,160
going through these things and 
you learn that way. 

709
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,120
I don't learn that way. 
I have to be in the fucking 

710
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,040
trenches and getting my ass beat
in order for me to be like, oh 

711
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,600
fuck, I think I don't like this 
and I should maneuver 

712
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:24,280
differently because I'll just 
sit there for a second and be 

713
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,440
like, Oh no, please stop kicking
me, you know? 

714
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,960
I think women are just taught to
settle like it doesn't matter if

715
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,120
it's relationships, workplace. 
That's true. 

716
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,040
Fact harassment, you know, I 
just think women have been 

717
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,160
taught to like lay down and take
it. 

718
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,040
And this generation of women are
like, no, fuck you, I will cut 

719
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,000
your Dick off and make a 
smoothie pitch. 

720
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,880
You're like, I have no time for 
this. 

721
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:50,360
So I think there's just like, 
never been women like this 

722
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,240
before. 
Like there's never been like 

723
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,160
trailblazing women like Bunny 
and biking Barbie and these 

724
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,120
people like, you know what? 
Yeah, I did drugs. 

725
00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,240
Yeah. 
I bounced back. 

726
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:00,240
Yeah. 
I'm sober, bitch. 

727
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:02,840
What you think what you know, 
you know, like people aren't 

728
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,120
used to women having like those 
redemption stories that are 

729
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,720
inspiring other people. 
And the one thing that I love 

730
00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:13,520
about women like that is they 
don't put other people down. 

731
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:18,040
They don't tell other people. 
I'm only better because I'm 

732
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,880
better than you or I'm on this 
pedestal because you all are 

733
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,560
beneath me. 
They're like, no, you can come 

734
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:24,280
up here too. 
Hey, let me show you. 

735
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:27,080
Hey, let me give you a hand. 
And that's what I love about 

736
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,560
this generation of women that's 
coming through right now, that's

737
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,080
having babies, that's raising 
children, that's doing the 

738
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:36,120
things we're doing because we're
breaking the mold that has been 

739
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:39,600
instilled in the last three 
generations of women that you 

740
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,320
have to submit to a man. 
You're nothing without a man. 

741
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,200
You have to be at home. 
You have to look prim and 

742
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,440
proper. 
And, you know, whatever it may 

743
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,800
be, I just feel like right now, 
women have taken their power 

744
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,200
back. 
And that's very triggering to 

745
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,240
the collective society that has 
benefited from us not 

746
00:39:58,240 --> 00:40:05,680
recognizing our power. 
I think that as many men that 

747
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:09,320
are bitches and can't tolerate 
women like that, there are also 

748
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:13,360
men out there who don't want 
weak minded women and women who,

749
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,080
you know, feel inferior and and 
whatever. 

750
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,480
And I think that it goes both 
ways. 

751
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,760
I think that there are just 
project people who are project 

752
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:28,200
people. 
And, you know, I think that it's

753
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:33,640
really stressful on men too, to 
have the dynamic that they've 

754
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,720
had where they're the ones who 
are supposed to have the income 

755
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:38,080
for everything and they're 
supposed to go out and make sure

756
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,840
that all of these things happen.
All of these things are running 

757
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,400
and be the protector and do all 
of these other things. 

758
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,440
And then, you know that they're 
just supposed to be provided for

759
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,640
and taken care of at home. 
And that's how it's supposed to 

760
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,040
be. 
And that's the dynamic. 

761
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:54,160
And, you know, and also, I just 
think it goes both ways. 

762
00:40:54,440 --> 00:41:00,960
And I, I think that if you're 
trying to have dynamics where 

763
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,520
you're changing tradition, you 
have to be with people who are 

764
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,560
also trying to break that same 
tradition. 

765
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,560
And it can't just be you trying 
to make all of these changes and

766
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,640
then being like, well, how come 
they're not showing up in these 

767
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,360
ways? 
Like, and that's where I think 

768
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,960
that there's a problem is I 
think that there's not enough 

769
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,400
communication ahead of time too 
on world building. 

770
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,480
People just start dating each 
other and go, oh, I like you and

771
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:29,360
I like you or whatever and not 
have like real deep 

772
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,800
conversations about like what 
life looks like and what your 

773
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,240
beliefs are on things and like 
how you would raise kids or, you

774
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,000
know, And those are like really 
important fucking conversations 

775
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,280
to have that people don't have 
because they're uncomfortable 

776
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,360
conversations to have. 
And that's why it does take, you

777
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,960
know, people having multiple 
relationships or whatever in 

778
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:53,040
order to figure out what's going
to fit, because that's fucking 

779
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,560
life experience shit. 
I got 2 points on that. 

780
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,960
For one, I don't understand why 
in this day and age people can't

781
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,200
just be cordial, break up and 
say hey, this wasn't working. 

782
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,000
I've outgrown this, I need to 
move on. 

783
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,400
It always has to be a debacle. 
Like it seems like there's no 

784
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,680
way to like make a clean break 
in this society. 

785
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,160
It's like, Oh no, I have to hate
you. 

786
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,080
Oh no, I've got to bash you on 
Facebook. 

787
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,840
Oh no, fuck you. 
I'm going to tell our kids and 

788
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:19,880
our family what you've done or 
whatever it is. 

789
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,560
I feel like so many people can't
just make a clean break. 

790
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,200
And then to add to that, so many
people are having kids with 

791
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:30,280
people that they don't really 
like who that person is at a 

792
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,360
core level. 
Like, they may like you on a 

793
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,280
surface level, they like what 
you bring to the table, 

794
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,880
whatever. 
But I feel like so many people 

795
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,160
get wrapped up in people and 
then later realize that their 

796
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,080
morals and values and things are
very different. 

797
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,480
And you need to be careful about
that. 

798
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,840
Because like, after I had the 
pregnancy scare, I was like, you

799
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:51,720
know what, fuck this. 
I'm not going to make excuses 

800
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,480
for people anymore. 
Like if you're not checking the 

801
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:57,040
boxes, like you're out. 
Like I'm tired of trying to 

802
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,120
carry the weight and balance the
scale for another person. 

803
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:05,800
And I think that so many times 
women have children with people 

804
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,320
who end up putting all the 
burden back onto them and then 

805
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,160
act like they're perfect, like 
they're doing everything they 

806
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,360
can. 
And I saw something on Facebook 

807
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,960
and it said I love paying 
$400.00 in childcare a month 

808
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,440
because who else can I have a 
full time babysitter for $400.00

809
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:22,680
a month. 
And I. 

810
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:24,160
Want child support? 
Yeah, I saw. 

811
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,440
That like some guy was saying 
that and I just thought to 

812
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,240
myself like that is what men 
think. 

813
00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:30,080
Like let me put the burden on 
her. 

814
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,800
I'll give $400.00 a month, see 
my kid twice, and tell everyone 

815
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:35,480
on Facebook how good of a dad I 
am. 

816
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:45,200
So yeah, the first part of that 
is I think with the debacle 

817
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,200
thing after breakups and stuff 
is I think that people just stay

818
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:52,360
inside of things longer than 
they should, trying to make 

819
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:53,800
something work that's not 
working. 

820
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,720
And then that's when you start 
to have resentment, especially 

821
00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:59,640
if like you're already being 
treated poorly. 

822
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,280
If you stay inside of a dynamic 
where you're already being 

823
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,480
treated bad, it doesn't give 
fucking better. 

824
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,840
Like at no point does it get 
better. 

825
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,520
You you know it, it keeps 
getting worse. 

826
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,720
And then you keep on having more
and more reasons. 

827
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:20,000
And if you tolerate being 
mistreated or disrespected and 

828
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,880
you let it be known that like 
that's something that you're OK 

829
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,400
with and that you're going to 
tolerate, it just gets fucking 

830
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,480
worse because that boundary that
you have just goes down and down

831
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,240
and down. 
And the more that you're like, 

832
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:32,480
no, it's fine. 
And you just brush it under the 

833
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,080
rug. 
Eventually there's no fucking 

834
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:35,840
rug there. 
It's just a bunch of shit. 

835
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:42,480
And so I think that's why that 
happens because like personal 

836
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,520
experience. 
So let's not fucking do that. 

837
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:53,920
And then, you know, and I, I 
want to say so many things to 

838
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,800
the point that you're making, 
but I also am just like trying 

839
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,160
to be really careful about how I
say things because like 

840
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,200
eventually my kids are going to 
listen to things, you know what 

841
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,040
I mean? 
Like I have personal experiences

842
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:05,600
to like back up what you're 
saying. 

843
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,360
But you know, I don't ever want 
to drag somebody or ever have my

844
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:13,120
kids hear something. 
So I just want to be careful how

845
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:19,560
I say it. 
But I think that people can 

846
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:23,760
change, like people can show up 
being a certain way or, or 

847
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,840
saying a certain thing or, you 
know, you have a certain 

848
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:30,160
expectation of something and 
just things that evolve in life 

849
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,280
change people. 
And some things change people 

850
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:34,880
for the worse or change them for
the better. 

851
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:38,600
You know, some people go, oh, 
well, I was raised this way with

852
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,400
my parent beating the fuck out 
of me. 

853
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,560
I'm going to either keep doing 
that or I'm not going to do 

854
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:47,520
that. 
And those types of situations, 

855
00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:50,320
that changes the dynamic that 
people have as parents. 

856
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,800
If you go into something and you
go, Oh yeah, well, you know, we 

857
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,040
were beat as kids, so that's not
something that we want to do. 

858
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,920
And then one of the people is 
like, I'm going to be 

859
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,200
emotionally responsible and help
them understand their emotions 

860
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,000
and their feelings. 
And the other parents, like my 

861
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,640
dad used to fucking sock me in 
the face. 

862
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,520
So you're a little bitch, I'm 
going to hit you, get back up. 

863
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,520
You know, those are things that 
you can't predict that that's 

864
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,400
how it's going to unfold. 
You have the best intention. 

865
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:17,920
But then when you have real life
situations come up, people are 

866
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:24,080
are going to fucking change. 
And that is fucking difficult 

867
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,200
and something that again, one of
those things that you can't 

868
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,240
fucking figure out. 
So you have life experiences. 

869
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,760
Yeah, You really don't know who 
people are. 

870
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,520
I feel like until they go 
through something traumatic, a 

871
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:37,120
death in the family, they are 
struggling with money, having 

872
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,440
personal health struggles. 
Like that's when you figure out 

873
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:42,400
who the person that you're with 
really is because everything is 

874
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,160
great. 
When we got a roof over our 

875
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:45,920
head, we're going on vacation 
twice a year. 

876
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:48,280
We're doing our thing like 
everything is perfect, but the 

877
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,640
moment that someone gets 
diagnosed with something or has 

878
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,160
a health scare or has a family 
member go through something 

879
00:46:54,160 --> 00:47:01,400
difficult, that's when real life
matters start to kind of unfold 

880
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:02,640
and change. 
A person. 

881
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:05,520
You know, everything's great 
when you got both parents alive 

882
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:07,720
and your kids are healthy and 
your wife's doing good, but the 

883
00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:11,720
moment all of a sudden something
changes in that dynamic, it can 

884
00:47:11,720 --> 00:47:15,480
really rock people's foundation 
to the point where they don't 

885
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,520
know how to navigate that. 
Like they don't know how to 

886
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,240
stand on their own 2 feet and be
like, wow, life's beating the 

887
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:21,960
shit out of me right now. 
I need to stay focused. 

888
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,120
I need to stay, you know, head 
in the game. 

889
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,520
A lot of people just, you know, 
give up. 

890
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:30,280
They just give up and they 
start, you know, the poor, 

891
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,760
pitiful me train. 
Everything sucks in my life. 

892
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:37,000
And I think so much of what we 
have been taught is to just 

893
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,120
allow people we love to 
manipulate us, whether it's our 

894
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:44,880
family or our partner, just, you
know, oh, well, that's just how 

895
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,480
they are. 
You know, if you have someone in

896
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:48,880
your family that you don't get 
along with and people say, well,

897
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,840
that's just how they are, Not on
my watch, not in my life. 

898
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,640
Not at all. 
Not on my watch. 

899
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:58,720
Y'all can do y'all, but no Uncle
Uncle Jimmy ain't going to talk 

900
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,720
to me like that. 
He might talk to you and his 

901
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:03,120
wife and his kids like that, but
me not going to. 

902
00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:04,520
Talk. 
Uncle Jimmy can catch these 

903
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,280
hands. 
Legit. 

904
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:10,200
And like, you know, my 
grandmother, she was just taught

905
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:11,960
like a lot. 
My dad's mother, you know, 

906
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,040
because her father was very 
abusive. 

907
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:18,960
And when she was a kid, around 
four years old, he threw her off

908
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,600
a boat and said swim. 
What? 

909
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:23,960
4 fucking years old. 
So my grandmother is like 

910
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:27,120
scarred. 
I mean, my grandma flinches at 

911
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,400
the light clickers. 
Like my grandmother has so much 

912
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:32,520
deep trauma because of that that
she projected onto all of us. 

913
00:48:32,720 --> 00:48:35,080
But I'll be honest, like my 
grandmother used to be really 

914
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,680
difficult. 
Like she'd be the one like going

915
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,760
through my purse and like, you 
know, trying to find me doing 

916
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:44,240
something wrong or whatever. 
But she taught me how to drive. 

917
00:48:44,720 --> 00:48:48,160
And I always laugh because when 
we would be out, like practicing

918
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,200
and I had my permit or whatever,
she would say things like 

919
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,200
nothing good happens after 
midnight, nothing good, you need

920
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:55,800
to be home because nothing good 
happened. 

921
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:57,920
It's after midnight. 
And then another thing she would

922
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,760
always say when it's cold, you 
need to put something on your 

923
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,680
head. 
And I saw her the other day and 

924
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:03,960
I was like, Grandma, you were 
right. 

925
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:05,360
Nothing good happens after 
midnight. 

926
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:06,880
And you do need to put something
on your head. 

927
00:49:07,240 --> 00:49:10,000
You're right, Like, and it's 
just funny because at the time, 

928
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,040
when I was 15, I was like, this 
lady is driving me crazy. 

929
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,760
You know, hoes don't get cold. 
I don't want to wear a hat. 

930
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,680
Hoes don't get. 
Cold. 

931
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:20,800
I've never heard that. 
You haven't heard that? 

932
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,280
Maybe I have and it's just this 
is ringing different as you say 

933
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,520
it. 
So it's like, you know, when 

934
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,680
you're young, someone might be 
trying to help you and give you 

935
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:34,080
advice in their own way or their
own tone that doesn't resonate 

936
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,040
with you. 
But as you get older and you 

937
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,600
have life experience, like you 
said, and you experience things,

938
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:42,040
you can see like she's right, 
she was right. 

939
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,520
Nothing good happens after 
midnight. 

940
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:48,960
And I feel like that in itself 
has helped me shift a lot to 

941
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:55,080
realize that we as humans really
do set ourselves up for drama or

942
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:58,520
suffering or whatever it may be 
by our actions. 

943
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,480
You know, every time I ever got 
in trouble or got in a car wreck

944
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,000
or something happened to me that
was wrong, happened after 

945
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:07,080
midnight, every single time. 
But did I want to hear that at 

946
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,960
19? 
No, I didn't. 

947
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,120
But now at 32, I'm like, 
grandma's right. 

948
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:17,560
I'll be inside Stark. 
And see, you had to have life 

949
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:21,320
experience in order for you to 
be able to see that that lesson 

950
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:22,760
and what she was saying was 
fact. 

951
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,960
Do you want to do a human design
card? 

952
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,440
Sure. 
All right. 

953
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:29,840
Well, that flew out. 
Ha. 

954
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:39,200
We got card number 8 for 
Rebellion. 8 is my life path #2.

955
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:45,280
And that's a tourist card. 
And it's a Taurus cod so it's 

956
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:46,360
fitting. 
OK. 

957
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,760
Your gift is individuality and 
your shadow is an illusion of 

958
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,600
safety. 
These cards really be hidden. 

959
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:58,680
Beyond the shallow depths of the
man made world of structure lies

960
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,040
this beautiful gift of true 
individuality and a rebellion 

961
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,840
that transforms the masses. 
You represent the fringes of 

962
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,360
society filled with creative 
free thinkers. 

963
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:12,920
Not everyone will understand you
or even try to, because it takes

964
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,640
courage and inner trust to see 
past the veil of the physical 

965
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,040
world and the status quo. 
It takes a leap of faith to 

966
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,480
venture down this path, which is
why the majority stays firmly in

967
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,680
place and so few people veer 
outside of it. 

968
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,280
Sameness is safe but utterly 
uninspiring. 

969
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:34,680
As more people dare to carve a 
new path, slowly but surely the 

970
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:38,120
rest of the population will wake
up to a new possibility as well.

971
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:42,520
You embody a spontaneous sense 
of individuality that cannot be 

972
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,640
duplicated. 
Creativity lives through you, 

973
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,560
and you are its divine channel. 
The frequency of this shadow 

974
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,360
keeps you locked within the 
relative comfort of the mass 

975
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:55,080
majority. 
It tricks you into believing 

976
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:58,360
that the path worth taking is 
heavily travelled, predictable, 

977
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:02,240
safe and common. 
Here your individuality and 

978
00:52:02,240 --> 00:52:04,320
freedom is lost to the 
collective. 

979
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,120
Staying committed to a truth 
that does not belong to you 

980
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:12,480
keeps you small and hollow. 
At this stage in our evolution, 

981
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:14,640
we are seeing the systems around
us fail. 

982
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:19,360
Education, government and 
corporations, only the few truly

983
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:23,720
prevail, whilst the foundational
body, the majority, keeps these 

984
00:52:23,720 --> 00:52:27,560
systems intact despite their 
inefficiency and providing a 

985
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,160
useful structure for all 
involved. 

986
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,680
Breaking from the herd threatens
the continuation of these 

987
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:37,120
programs. 
It rattles our comfort but pays 

988
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,680
off in dividends. 
Questions to always ask Am I 

989
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,880
playing it safe or am I truly 
alive? 

990
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:46,240
Are the expectations of others 
shaping my life and my 

991
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:49,160
decisions? 
Your themes are individuality, 

992
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,280
innovation, rebellion and 
freedom. 

993
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:56,440
Very in alignment as always. 
As always. 

994
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:01,160
So we will see you all next time
in Candy Land. 

995
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:05,000
Our new drop date is Fridays. 
Bye bye. 

996
00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:14,680
Yeah, you said she's so sweet, 
man. 

997
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,160
Come on. 
Like a rapper live. 

998
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:24,520
Me like a lollipop. 
Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, 

999
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:30,600
lollipop, lollipop, lollipop. 
You want to swallow my spirit 

1000
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:32,880
and penetrate my aura? 
Taste. 

1001
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,040
All of my consciousness is 
obvious. 

1002
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:38,760
We're goddesses full of the 
divine femininity.