Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini.
Welcome back to Candyland. We are here in the midst of
Scorpio Season, had a full Blood Moon lunar eclipse in Taurus and
the energy has been heavy. How do you feel Gemini?
Well, you just sent me a picture of your cat busting it wide
open, so I feel great. Honestly, I love how relaxed my
cat is after I vacuumed that rug.
Your cat looks super happy all on its back, tummy out, balls
out. You opened up with some very
spiritual things. OK, so the moon.
I feel super motivated about doing shit.
I feel like I've gotten so much done this past week.
I'm also really excited to take two weeks off.
That's how I feel about this full moon.
I can't wait for tomorrow and to do our ceremony.
Yeah, so we have the full Moon ceremony.
By the time you all hear this episode, it will have already
happened. But we do the full moon ceremony
every single month, and this is an exclusive Patreon offering.
So you can't buy a spot, You have to sign up for the
platform. Patreon, which is its own app,
its own platform. And the reason that we started
doing that is because we just feel like a lot of outside
energies were lurking in the. Distance.
And we didn't want just anyone to have access to our energy and
our circle. We didn't want no dusty, crusty
people tainting our circle. Keep your fucking taint to
yourself, yeah? I love Patreon.
Patreon too allows us to be a lot more personal with people
where you're not just paying to come to one thing with us and
that be the full moon ceremony. If you're on our Patreon, then
you're really getting to immerse yourself like in our community
and see all types of different things that we do too.
And we just felt like it was almost more of an experience for
people who wanted to jump in with us to be able to be on
there and have so much more access.
Yeah, so with the full moon lunar eclipse, we've been going
through eclipse season for like the last month and a half.
And it has been super dynamic, especially for people to be like
closing out old chapters. Which is why I wanted to take a
break from doing readings just so I could be in tune with my
own energy for the last month or the last week or so, and.
The veil is super thin in October, especially in Scorpio
season, and a lot of people have to transmute older versions of
themselves. Scorpio, is this rebirth energy
where you take? The cards that you've been dealt
and you make your best bet rather than dwelling or setting
in negativity. So it is super important right
now to rejuvenate and to like relax as well as just let go.
Purging old dynamics, old connections, letting go of
material things is super important as well.
This sounds stressful. I'm not letting go of shit right
now. I'm just kidding.
I'm excited about having the break and getting to have that
time to like really tap in with myself and with my family too.
Like my parents are going to be coming and visiting.
They're coming in on Halloween. They come here every year for
Halloween and we celebrate it together and that like we don't
get together on like Thanksgiving or Christmas or
anything like that. But they come for Halloween
every year, which is top tier elite and they'll be here
throughout the week. So that's the starting my break
and taking care of myself. And also this is going to be the
first time since I've had my son because he's going to be in
school while they're here. So it's the first time that
they're going to be here and we're going to just have time us
during the day and not have my son around.
So I think it'll be really nice, Like I want to take them on a
hike and I want to like go and do things with them and like the
good air and make really good memories.
I am taking off work on Halloween just to relax and to
be with my ancestors and just be in silence, looking forward to
not answering anyone's calls or texts on Tuesday just because,
like, the veil is so thin. I just want to be in my own
energy and like not be around people at all.
So I love that for you. I love that you're going to have
family time and I'm going to have permit mode.
I did go shopping yesterday and I got all kinds of cute graphic
Ghostface T-shirts and I'm really very cute.
You know, I am obsessed with Ghostface and I like Wear.
Ghost face stuff all year long. Because when I was a kid, the
only movie that ever really scared me was Scream.
Like I had nightmares for literally ever, 'cause that's
back when we had home phones. And that's back like when people
left the house. You couldn't call them, like you
didn't know when they would be home, but you couldn't call
them. And I was always, like, really
mature. So my mom started leaving me
home alone at like 10 years old. Which is crazy, 'cause I know,
like, you wouldn't do that for you, wouldn't do that with your
son. But like now kids have so much
access to everything. It's just like a different world
to think that my mom used to leave and have no fucking clue
what I was doing but be gone for hours this.
OK, So like my I think. I think girls are a little bit
different. Like my stepdaughter is 11 and
we've had, I mean I've had times when I've left her at the, I
guess, I guess not for like some long extended period of time.
Like, I wouldn't be like, I don't get home until 6:00, you
get home at 2, go home and wait for me.
But like, I've left her at the house to, like, go run to the
grocery store or something really quick.
No, my mom would go out. She like go to bingo.
She'd go pop her shit like. Out, out.
And so literally, like, scream in the ring.
I guess because they involved phones.
Really freaked me out as a kid because I don't know, I just, I
don't know. So it's funny that like
something that used to give me nightmares, as now, like my
literal obsession, like everywhere you look is
Ghostface. But I love shopping around this
time of the year 'cause I buy wardrobe for the rest of the
year. I love you talking about phones
because all in your childhood, because all of a sudden I just
remembered the fact that like, I totally So I wasn't.
I would get grounded all the time and I wasn't allowed to
talk on the phone. And I was always dating older
boys that I wasn't allowed to be talking to anyways.
I had no fucking business talking to.
And so I used to pay my friends at school to borrow their cell
phones and take them home. And I used to hide them under my
bed. And then I'd be texting God
fucking knows who now and what age they were like throughout
the night. And that was back when, like,
you couldn't make calls before 9:00, 'cause if you called after
nine, they were free. And so I used to sit there.
It'd be like, 11:00. I'd be like, I had a a big walk
in closet. And so I used to go into my
closet and I would stuff towels underneath the door and
underneath my bedroom door to, like, help absorb sound.
And I'd be in there like all my shit talking in my pillow, like,
what are you doing? Oh my God, I wish I was holding
your hand, you know. Let's explore that topic because
in my teenage years I never had the urge to date or hang out
with 1314 year olds. Like never once when I was 18 or
19 did I think I'm gonna date a 12 year old or a 13 year old.
But it's such a common phenomenon like in people in our
generation that dated older people like 5-7 years older than
them at like 14 and 15 years old.
And that makes no fucking sense to me.
It still doesn't make sense to me.
What's crazy is when I was in I was in like 7th or 8th grade and
there was this guy that was like full grown.
I think he had to have been like 20 or 21 years old.
That was over here sleeping with two of my friends when I was in.
They were 7th or 8th grade and he was like a grown adult that
had a job and he was a firefighter.
And I remember them telling me like both of them had slept with
him and all this shit. And so 7th, 8th grade, you're
like what, 13 years old? Like 14 years old maybe.
And when I was that grade, I was just like, Oh my God, really?
Like I wouldn't have done it, but I just thought, OK, my
friends are doing that. Like it is what it is.
And so I thought it was so strange.
I started dating one of these girls, older brother actually
and I dated him for a couple of years on and off and I was in
8th grade and he was a senior in high school and it was just like
no big deal. You know, and I thought it was
so weird that my parents had a problem with it.
Because I'm like, at least at least he's not 23 like her
boyfriend. I literally knew someone that
same thing they were doing. And like, I'm friends with that
guy on Facebook and I see that he has like kids now and I just
like wonder if he considers himself a pedophile.
Because like, bro, you were like 21/22/23 talking to 8th and 9th
graders, dating them, sleeping with them.
And then there's another dude that was like friends with a guy
that I dated. And he was way older than us.
Like he was way fucking older. Like this dude is probably like
40 something now, he wrote me on Messenger.
I just left it, I haven't opened it and it says we should go on a
date. Bro, I want to tell you how you
scarred me for life. Like, I want to tell you how
you're a fucking weirdo. But instead the healed version
of me is just going to let you do your thing.
But like, you need help if you think I'm going to go on a date
with you like you are a pedophile.
And that is super common. Like, I know that people make a
lot of tik toks about it, like talking about like being in the
back of people's cars and like, not even knowing who they were.
And I just have never had the urge in my adult life to be
like, I'm going to hang out with 15 year olds, 16 year olds,
even. Like, it's just never, ever
crossed my mind. Ever for some reason to like.
In the town that I was at, it was always like, I feel like it
was always dudes that were like, I'm a Juggalo that were doing
this shit like where where I was.
And it was always like it would be like their aunts, uncles
around, like condoning all of this.
And like as an adult, I know plenty of Juggalos and Juggalets
that would never do that. And so I'm always just like what
is it about the town that I was in where y'all's little, the
little group of you where this was your shit.
And like, does everywhere have that like small community.
And I feel like that's part of the reason that like that that
that group of people gets what's the word like stigmas put on
them too is because there's small town little versions of
these cliques that are going around and using it as like a
I'm so cool, you should hang out with me while you're underage
tactic. Literally the majority of that
group of people that I'm mentioning were Juggalos, and
those are the people that introduced me to Juggalo
culture. And like the craziest thing is
like when this was happening, the Joker's cards were still
coming out. Like we were only on like the
5th Joker's card when this was going on.
And so it's just like crazy that these people like.
Hung out with 13 and 14 year olds.
But I just believe, if I think about it, like people their age
knew that they were bums, like knew that they were, you know,
mooching off their mom or whatever.
But when you're young, you don't realize things like that because
you live with your parents and you have to live with your
parents. So I just think that like, I've
seen people post about it and they're like.
People their age could see the bum in them, and when you're
young you don't see that because you've never paid bills or
you've never had to do those things.
But it's just really ironic that that is very like across the
United States. I guess there was just like a
little group of Juggalos in every town that was sleeping
with kids and trying to seduce them.
I hope now that that's something that gets spoken out on more
like I hope now that I just hope those people grew up eventually
and that now they recognize that and they can teach something
different and that we can like start having a culture where
hanging out with little girls, it isn't a vibe.
Like that's not cool. And when I think about it, there
was never young guys hanging out with us.
It wasn't like my guy friends were coming and hanging out too.
It was only us girls hanging out with these people and the fact
that, like, we survived because those videos of like that I see
of like, I'm just drinking the sporty in the back seat between
these two dudes that I don't know and someone's bum ass aunt
in the front seat. For real though, I don't know
you, we just met at Safeway. You said that you liked my
pajama bottoms. Did I want to get high?
And I was like, fuck yeah, we'll be smoking, you know?
Honestly, the first time I ever smoked a cigarette, I was like
10 years old and it was like a Pall Mall menthol 100 and it was
like back by the train tracks in the small town that I grew up
in. And I just like, remember these
instances, like the first time I smoked weed was like shortly
after and it was like at the trailer park, laundry mat out of
the coke can. And it's just like, so funny.
The shit that, like, I have been through to get where I am now
and never once in my life like, did, I realized that the people
I was hanging out with were literally the problem that I was
just like a young, impressionable person.
And I look back on that and like, I don't begrudge those
people. Most people are in prison or
just like fucked up somewhere, but it just blows my mind that,
like, I thought that was cool and it also like, set the
standard for me in my teenage years to continue like.
Getting fucked up and doing pills and drinking.
Because I just thought that was normal.
Like I thought that's what everyone did.
And then when I finally, like, moved in with my dad and like
had a curfew and I'll talk to you about this.
Before he was really strict, but then I look back on it and he
was just literally just being a normal parent and like my mom
was just letting me run wild. So it's funny to like, look at
that dynamic as an adult. I don't begrudge those people.
I do think a lot of those people have mental health issues.
And that's another thing that the people their age were like,
hell no, hell no. And that's why they were dating
14 year olds. But like I said, I see these
people on Facebook and they have not changed at all.
I was just, I just realized something as we were talking.
And I remember when I started, when I started becoming like a
junior senior in high school, my boyfriend lived an hour away.
And I used to just take the there was like a shuttle bus and
I used to just take it to his house and I basically lived at
his house. I was homeschooled.
So I would go once a month to school real quick so that I
could go and turn my work in. And then I would go right back
the fuck out and I would go to his house.
And as an adult, I've been like, I can't believe my parents just
let me fucking do that. Like basically let me just live
with him for two years. And then I think about it and I
think about all the fucked up fuckery that I was doing between
7th grade and my junior year of high school.
And I'm like oh OK, so it was like fucked up.
But at least they knew where I was, You know what I mean?
Like I wasn't out there because I was one of, I don't know about
you, but let me tell you about high school young Diana, because
it was pre Gemini days. I was fucking ruthless out here
and I would just be like, I'm not going home tonight so I'm
not fucking going home. And I wouldn't tell anybody
where I was. I wouldn't tell anybody what I
was doing. My friend Ryan that I have now
still is older than me, and I used to intern for her and her
husband. So I would literally call her
fucking drunk, still in some field by the side of the freeway
and be like, hey, I need you to come and pick me up, and she'll
come pick me up. She'll take me to her house.
I would get showered, I would go, and I would intern at her
office and I'll just be popping my shit out here, wild and free
in the world and you couldn't tell me shit.
I wasn't going to do anything that you said.
And then I got arrested the beginning of my junior year for
assault and battery. And I went to juvie for the
night. And OK, so actually what
happened is I got in, I got in a fight at school and the girl's
family was going to press charges and I got a warning for
that. And then I went home and I
wanted to go to my boyfriend's house, said boyfriend that I
would go and live with. And my mom said no and I was
like, well, I'm going to go and do it anyways.
And so she no What happened? There was like bubbles from your
face and then a thumbs up just came up out of nowhere.
That's so fucking odd. I don't know.
I don't know either, But I got into it with my mom.
She told me that I couldn't leave and I was like, I'm not
asking a question. And so I tried to push her in
the hallway. So she like pulled my hair or
something. I tried to, I tried to go at her
first, and then I was trying to leave out of our side gate and
she tried stopping me. So I bit her hand and I told her
she was a bitch. And then and I'd never called my
mom a bitch before and it's like to this day traumatized my
little brother and I ran to the other side, the backside of our
fence and we had this like chain link fence and my dad had a
rolled up thing of chain link. So this day I couldn't recreate
it. My dad is like, I don't know how
you did it, but I basically was a determined ass hoe and I
fucking jumped onto this big ass thing of chain link and then
fucking popped my happy ass over our chain link fence in the back
and was like, I'm going to my boyfriend's house and fucking
took. He lived an hour away.
I don't know what I thought I was going to do, but I fucking
ran away. The police picked me up and they
took me back to my house because my mom called the cops and that
was my second assault and battery because I'd gotten in
the fight at school. So the officer was going to,
apparently he was just going to let me go, but he was sitting me
on the steps in front of my house and he's like.
You want to get arrested? And I said, does it look like I
want to get arrested? And I was just giving him a
bunch of shit. And so he stood me up and he was
trying to scare me. So he told me that he was
arresting me and I will never forget.
He asked me if I had any weapons on me and he asked me if I had
any grenades. And I was like, where the fuck
am I going to get a grenade? And I was like, what a stupid
fucking question to ask. And I'm like, pigs, always ask
stupid fucking questions. And so I got arrested.
That was me. That was that was young me.
We're different. We've changed.
Good fucking Lord. No wonder people think you're a
cult leader. She has grenades.
Y'all, I will never forget that. I'm always just like, what a
stupid fucking question to ask. Like, anyways.
But I yeah, I I was a person. She's wild, honestly, in my
childhood. I would be in places where other
people would be going to jail or getting in trouble and I would
always get to go home. I talked about this the other
night to my friend. Like I have always had extremely
great luck with cops. Like one time I was in a car
breaking the law, doing things I shouldn't have been doing.
There was a gun in the car, shouldn't have had that gun.
It wasn't mine. But we got pulled over and
basically someone in the car had a warrant for their arrest.
So they basically arrested the person with a warrant, didn't
even search the car and let us go, even though if they would
have searched that car we all would have went to jail.
Then there was another time I was leaving a house party and we
were on these country back roads and there was an ambulance and
whoever was driving thought it would be a bright idea to.
Tailgate this ambulance with his fucking lights on.
So of course they radioed the cops and we got pulled over and
I literally got to leave that time too.
Like I always get to go home. I never in my life get in
trouble. I don't know what it is, but I
literally should have a fucking rap sheet and I don't.
And now I don't break the law now.
As soon as it gets dark, I'm going home.
If people are drinking and driving, I'm not riding with
you. If people want to stay out,
that's cool. But I'm not.
I'm going home, yes. I've also just changed my life
around the country roads, man. They're doing crazy shit and you
got away with stuff because you look innocent.
I didn't get away with things because my mouth was reckless
and I lived my whole life on waiting for you to give me a
fucking reason. Yeah, I don't know.
I'm really glad that young Mee gets to like be healed and not
traumatized through those actions.
Cause like honestly, going through a lot of that has helped
me be a better person, you know, Like I used to think that life
was just like super. I don't know why what I want to
say, like life was cheap. Like I didn't really put a lot
of emphasis on my own safety. I would get in cars with people
that didn't have licenses or they didn't have insurance.
Like until I went through a lot, like a near death experience, I
did not see the impact of my actions at all.
But then once you get in a car wreck and you get hurt really
bad and you have to be cut out of a car and all these things
then. And I'm like, oh, hell, no, no,
I will not. And also, I think, like a lot of
people didn't have the option to go crazy in their teenage years.
So they did that in their 20s. And then you go to jail.
You're not going home. You're going to jail or you're
going to rehab or you're going wherever.
So I'm really glad that I got most of that out of my system
between like 14 and 21. So that way, like in my adult
life, I never actually got in trouble.
And never really had to, like, face the consequences.
Like, I learned my lesson and I'm grateful for the universe
for showing me those very early on.
But a lot of people, like, their parents, were helicopter parents
and they didn't have the freedom to just go buck wild.
And I'm really glad that I was able to do that in moderation.
But it wasn't until like my mid 20s that I started realizing
that like. Those people that I hung out
with who I thought were cool were fucking weird in pedophiles
and like not cool. Like needed help and shouldn't
have been hanging out with 14 year olds.
But you know, at the end of the day, I survived and I'm here to
tell the story. So I think that's good.
I'm glad that we're here to tell the fucking story.
I wonder. I wonder if we had met like our
high school versions of ourselves when we were in high
school. Like, I wonder if what we would
have thought of each other. Like, would we be friends?
Or like, what would it have been like?
I just wonder. Clearly we were doing the same
fuckery. You were just quiet about it.
I mean, I was a little low key, but like, I'm really glad that
we didn't have cell phones to document all of that.
Like I didn't get a cell phone until I was like.
I think I was like 12 or 13, but my dad wouldn't put service on
it. I just had Internet and text
messaging because I had a sidekick like the first
smartphone that had came out. He got it for me for Christmas
so I could talk to him when I was at my mom's through text.
But like, it was really weird because I couldn't call anyone
on it. So I remember having a Myspace
that I wasn't allowed to have. Like my dad was like, you can't
have Myspace. And I remember when my dad found
my Myspace page cause some little rat bitch told him and my
like, you could customize it or whatever.
So I had Playboy like paper on the back, whatever theme.
And then my song on my page was microphone by Jeffrey Star.
So it's like, hold me like a microphone.
And I remember my dad fucking finding that page and I was
fucking dying. I I remember I walked behind him
and I saw that he was on my Myspace page.
So I went and I locked myself in my fucking bathroom and I was
just having an anxiety attack and was just like, like, you
know, when you get in trouble and you're just like, I've been
fucking caught, what do I do? How do I lie about this?
How do I get out of this? What do I do?
And I'm being like that's not my Myspace page.
You know, I used to make those AOL home pages with the little
like little doll things and like to have this thing and it was it
was from that jaw roll song and it would bounce around and it
said baby boy put it on me. Cannot, cannot even imagine what
the 10 year old me thought that was meaning or the fuck I had
that on there. But I really specifically
remember when AOL was like transiting away.
Like AOL wasn't the thing anymore.
Like you moved to like the Internet type thing from your
cable provider, like at our time it was like Windstream or
Bellsouth or like whatever. I was so salty that like my AOL
homepage was going to go away. But then I migrated to
vampirefreaks.com which is still a website and I was literally
like top ranked on there. You got ranked like 1 to 10.
And I literally started the original like nice girl, hey
girl thing and I would be like, hey, love your profile basically
like copy and paste different things to different people.
And it was kind of like. Shout out for shout out, but
instead it would be like, I'll rate you, you rate me.
And I went all the way to number like three and four.
And my aunt brought it up recently at like a family event
how she was so shocked that my mom was allowing me to be on
there and she was like, I thought for sure you would get
kidnapped because you had like. I want to say like 200,000
followers on there and this is like in the peak of the
Internet, like this is when a million users would have been a
lot of users. And so the owner of Vampire
Freaks, his name was Jet. I think he still owns it.
It's kind of like transitioned into like a dolls kill website
where they sell merch and stuff. You can check it out all you
want to go check it out, but it was like the original Suicide
Girl platform, like before Suicide Girls was a thing.
It was like that. And it was when people would
like have those clippin colorful dreads and extensions and stuff.
And I was literally like 1314 years old on this.
Like I was going into high school still using this.
And I remember people being like so shocked when they found out
that I was like #3 out of like a million people on there on the
girls side. Because I literally like was so
like community driven and you could create these communities
on there. And they were called Colts.
And ours were called, ours was called Brutal Bitches.
No clue why 'cause I had like, this nice girl thing, but it was
like you would get in there and you had to like do all this.
Like it was almost like a sorority on crack.
Like you had to jump through all these hoops to join our cult.
And it was like really weird. I don't know.
It's just like when I look back on that, I was like 1314 years
old doing that. I used to be on all types of
shit talking to all types of people and just like it was no
fucking big deal. And it really is wild out here.
I remember when I found, oh fuck, they still have it.
Like it was like a Vine, but it had a different name, Zynga.
No, it wasn't Zynga. Fuck, it was super popular.
And I just can't think of what it is.
But I remember used to be on there and people would be
posting all types of fucking like fetish shit, freaky shit
all over the place and you would just see random people's fucking
pussies all over the place. And I was just like, Oh my God,
this is like what it is. Honestly, it blows my mind.
The capacity that my mom just gave me.
Free reign of the fucking Internet.
Like I could use the family computer better than anyone in
the house and not even knew I was doing stuff like that.
But my mom, like one year for my birthday, I needed, I think it
was like maybe $40. For the premium version of
Vampire freaks, which means that if someone rated you lower you
could see your ratings. So like I could see if someone
tried to like come and take my average down or something and.
For 40 bucks go to. Check and sent it to these
people. And my aunt was like, I was so
floored when I found out that your mom had paid for you to be
on that website. But to my mom though, I feel
like the Internet was like a free babysitter because she
could literally leave and know that I wasn't going to go
anywhere. I would spend hours on there.
And it's funny because I have two friends that I still talk to
right now from this day. One lives in Vegas, one lives in
Canada, and I've known them since vampire freaks.
And then there's a local girl that I ended up going to high
school with, 'cause this was middle school that I met on
Vampire Freaks and she commented on my Facebook the other day and
brought up vampire freaks on my status about being an emo kid.
And I was like, that's so wild that that is where we met.
But we ended up going to high school together later and like
actually being real life friends, so.
If you are a real emo kid, you know about vampire freaks.
If you were a poser, you don't. I feel like when I was or when
we were kids, the Internet was just such a new thing that they
just didn't think that anything bad was going to happen on it.
Like they just didn't understand, I think the capacity
of what we were able to do on there, because it's not
something that they were doing. Like, we just had really unique
shit happen in our childhood and we were the test babies for it
and our parents didn't fucking know what was going on.
Like, I mean my I remember my mom would only go on the
computer to go and check her AOL account and find out if somebody
had messaged her. And I'd be over here fucking
hogging up everything. Wouldn't be able to get calls to
our house for who knows how long.
You would have just gotten, you know, the dial up sound and just
so crazy. We ended up getting 2 phone
lines like one just for me to use the Internet because like if
not no one could use the phone at the house like I remember.
Being on the fucking computer for like 12 hours and not
moving, not even wanting to move.
Like to the point where we took the family computer out of the
living room and put it in my room and they got another
computer because no one could do anything on there at all.
But I do think that like growing up with the Internet, it's
really amazing that we were using like coding and HTML and
stuff like they were like no, we need to dumb these motherfuckers
down. They are getting way too smart
because. Because if we would have
continued using Myspace and coding like that, we were
literally like French kissing a six figure job and they did not
want that because a lot of us could have became hackers and or
anything. Like I remember being able to go
to a website and still their entire code for everything that
they were doing and run that back to my own site.
Like run that back to my AOL page like I could, literally.
Break down someone's entire website in like 20 minutes and
still whatever I wanted from it at any point, that is.
So. It's just so crazy talking about
it because I just remember now doing so much shit that we
didn't do before. And I feel like that's why
there's such a number of us that are like, I'm going to utilize
the Internet for like my marketing for doing all of these
things because we were doing it since we were little, like
socializing and doing everything that we were doing.
We were just marketing something different.
I mean the fact that I can maintain 2 Internet friends for
20 plus years who I've never met in person is crazy.
Like I follow both of them on Instagram literally like text
both of them, couple of them like.
Both of them. I mean, not a couple, but them
too. Like we all three were friends
on there. Like we ran the cult together,
like all of that. So like, it's just mind blowing
because that was back whenever people would do the signs on
their hand. Do you remember that?
Yeah. Yeah, so my vampire.
I never did roar, but my vampire freak's name was XX Pager and.
That was and then what's other? The other crazy thing is my AIM
screen name was Red Cherries 2002.
And so my friend's dad would only call me Red Cherries like
because that's like would always be dinging on their family
computer. Red Cherries.
But it blows my mind how far the Internet has evolved into this
fucking marketing scammer bullshit.
You know thing like what was I going to say like?
Pyramid scheme. I feel like the Internet is like
a pyramid scheme, especially how Instagram and these platforms
are all like wanting you to subscribe to people's bogus ass
content like. They all just want money and
instead of people paying attention to magazines and ads
and newspapers, it's all shoved down your throat.
And like I said in a previous episode, that was what I think
our parents and grandparents had going for them is if they wanted
to shut the shit down, they could.
They can put ACD on. They could do whatever, Put a
movie on. No ads, no buy this, buy that.
Like here. Recently my targeted ads have
been like for really luxury items like.
I've been talking a lot about Maserati, so I'm getting
Maserati ads. I get a lot of Louis Vuitton ads
despite never shopping on their website.
Like the amount of ads that I get that are targeted for these
luxury brands like Chanel and all this.
I'm like, this phone thinks I got money, money, Like this
phone thinks I'm popping my shit all day and all night.
And I need to go to the Louie website because I'm gonna buy
something. But it's like our phones really
do listen to us. Like I saw something.
I walked past Claire's in the mall.
Yesterday, and the little girl was getting her ears pierced and
I looked at my friend. I was like, that is the worst
place to get your ears pierced. I just don't know why people
don't take their kid to a real place to get their ears pierced.
And then I had an ad on Facebook last night that said it looks
like you were shopping at Claire's.
Yes or no? Swear no, bitch I wasn't.
Also, the amount of people that don't know that you shouldn't
get your ears pierced at Claire's and aren't educated on
that. Like, I know that we weren't
educated, like our parents were educated on that, but also
getting piercings and tattoos was still considered so taboo.
Like, now it's like a popular thing that's done.
But like when we were growing up, like going to like a tattoo
parlor or like a piercing shop was like a taboo fucking thing
to do. And so people would take us to
Claire's or whatever. And I remember my I had to have
my ears pierced twice. My ears got infected and my mom
had to take my earrings out. And then one ended up getting
infected again when I got it pierced later on in life.
But my mom was able to heal it and just like it's inside of a
mall, it's not sanitary. Those people are not trained in
cleaning those guns or doing anything sanitary at all.
They literally would hole punch our fucking ear, put an earring
in it, and I don't even know if they wore gloves.
You know, I just think it's really fucking weird because
like the health department allows that and I just don't see
how. I do not see how people are
still taking their kids as we speak to Claire's in the mall To
get ear piercings and Claire's is just like expensive Wish
products. Like everything you can get in
Claire's for 12/20/40 dollars, I can get on Wish for $2.00.
It's the same thing. It does not make sense.
Claire's has capitalized off cheap.
Plastic bullshit products and I used to always go in there as a
kid and want to spend money in there.
And it's the same thing with a lot of the brands like Hollister
and Abercrombie. Like the quality started out
good and overtime it just kept getting cheaper and cheaper and
cheaper and it's just like we've gotten to a point where
everybody's products. Are cheap and some of them are
expensive and some of them are priced reasonably.
But at the same time, I'm just like, I don't understand the
ideology with the Claires taking your kid there.
I also don't think that you should Pierce kids ears until
they're old enough to be like, I want this.
I know I had my ears pierced when I was a kid.
My mom just did it. But at the same time it's like
stop taking babies to Claires and getting their ears pierced.
It's gross. Oh, the baby's getting it done.
I remember. I I remember little pieces of
getting my ears pierced when I was like 5.
Like I remember I had Elmo. I remember going and sitting in
the chair. I remember how it felt to have
the person walk towards me. And I was fine after the first
year, but then I was so scared to get the second one and my mom
like held my hands down. Like I remember.
I remember like not in like an aggressive way, but like in a
like I'll hold your hands and let them do it type of thing.
And then I remember also I got in trouble when we got back to
the house because I peed in the bathtub.
Well, there you go. Memory from the memory bank.
I hope you all were ready to go down memory lane today, because
that's where we're at, is memory fucking lane.
That's. Going to be the name of the
episode Memory Fucking Lane. Do you want to do a human design
card? Yeah, I surely do.
Damn, that was. Quite the ride we just went on
roller coaster ride. Roller coaster.
We already read this one, so I'm not going to read it again.
But we said roller coaster ride in the carnival.
Fucking merry go round popped out.
You can read it again whenever you want to do.
We got a different one. We got Firefly.
Oh, before we pull the human design card, I meant to tell
you, I watched House of Wax for the first time last night.
Have you ever seen that bitch? My mind was fucking blown.
I have never seen some. I was so annoyed in the
beginning. It's just the level of stupid.
And then I was super into it. And then?
That's the movie where Chad Michael Murray was married to
Sophia Bush at the time. But then he fucked Paris Hilton
and fucked up his marriage. So then while I'm watching this
movie, I'm just thinking about how like, they literally just
destroyed his fucking marriage over that movie.
And then I was like, Dang, like this is a home wrecking movie.
But I was super into the storyline.
So there's that Firefly card number 2, Horus.
Horus. The gift is so the sign.
Obviously Taurus. The gift is in flow and your
shadow is out of sync. When you remember the
fundamental magic that resides within you, all of life opens up
and you're able to be in harmony with the energetic flow of
everything around you. Synchronosity becomes the thread
that holds all of life together for you.
You surrender to life itself and allow your receptive feminine
energy to receive, allowing your inner sense of direction to call
the shots. With that, your aura expands and
prompts others to live in accordance with their true
essence as well. You are the conduit and the
Firefly. The more you trust and flow, the
more those rivers churn. As you remember your greatness
and the energetic fabric that connects all things, simply
being is enough. There is nothing to do, only to
be. Your enlivened presence breaks
the barrier between you and the other, which allows you to take
the reins as a natural leader for the willing to unfollow or
for the for those willing to follow, your shadow is out of
sync. When occupying the shadow, you
might feel lost or out of sync with the greater whole.
Everything is energy, everything is won.
But the illusion of the physical world forces our perception in
the opposite direction, separation.
We then distrust in the universe and believe the falsehood of our
visible experience. The illusion of separation draws
us in and makes us believe that we are not an essential part of
the collective, when in fact we are always contributing
energetically to the world around us.
When overtaken by this shadow, there's a tendency to act in
ways that disregard our interconnected essence, leaving
to an experience devoid of purpose.
You might believe that the actions you take have no
consequence beyond yourself. A denial of your inherent power
as part as part, is to the whole.
You as an individual have incorporated into the world and
now have the opportunity to see past the illusion, thereby
harnessing your greatness. Your themes are leadership,
perspective, vision, trust and timing, and we encourage
everyone to acknowledge things from your childhood.
Don't judge yourself, just embrace who you were.
Embrace that that's got you exactly where you are now and
love that version of yourself. Don't shame yourself, but just
find peace in the moment that you've grown and you've elevated
and you're becoming who you've always wanted to be.
And we love you all and we will see you next time.
So glad that none of you got kidnapped or killed while you
were also joyriding in these country streets and we'll see
you next week. Love you.