1 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:16,400 Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini. 2 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:33,760 Welcome back to Candyland. We are here in the midst of 3 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:40,760 Scorpio Season, had a full Blood Moon lunar eclipse in Taurus and 4 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:45,280 the energy has been heavy. How do you feel Gemini? 5 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,160 Well, you just sent me a picture of your cat busting it wide 6 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:54,720 open, so I feel great. Honestly, I love how relaxed my 7 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,200 cat is after I vacuumed that rug. 8 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,560 Your cat looks super happy all on its back, tummy out, balls 9 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:06,080 out. You opened up with some very 10 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,960 spiritual things. OK, so the moon. 11 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,840 I feel super motivated about doing shit. 12 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,560 I feel like I've gotten so much done this past week. 13 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,920 I'm also really excited to take two weeks off. 14 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,160 That's how I feel about this full moon. 15 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,280 I can't wait for tomorrow and to do our ceremony. 16 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,040 Yeah, so we have the full Moon ceremony. 17 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,680 By the time you all hear this episode, it will have already 18 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,720 happened. But we do the full moon ceremony 19 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:36,000 every single month, and this is an exclusive Patreon offering. 20 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,600 So you can't buy a spot, You have to sign up for the 21 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,800 platform. Patreon, which is its own app, 22 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,440 its own platform. And the reason that we started 23 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,760 doing that is because we just feel like a lot of outside 24 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,880 energies were lurking in the. Distance. 25 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:58,160 And we didn't want just anyone to have access to our energy and 26 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,120 our circle. We didn't want no dusty, crusty 27 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:05,400 people tainting our circle. Keep your fucking taint to 28 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,400 yourself, yeah? I love Patreon. 29 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,600 Patreon too allows us to be a lot more personal with people 30 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,280 where you're not just paying to come to one thing with us and 31 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,920 that be the full moon ceremony. If you're on our Patreon, then 32 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,800 you're really getting to immerse yourself like in our community 33 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,200 and see all types of different things that we do too. 34 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:30,480 And we just felt like it was almost more of an experience for 35 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,840 people who wanted to jump in with us to be able to be on 36 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,640 there and have so much more access. 37 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,560 Yeah, so with the full moon lunar eclipse, we've been going 38 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,200 through eclipse season for like the last month and a half. 39 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:47,760 And it has been super dynamic, especially for people to be like 40 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:52,720 closing out old chapters. Which is why I wanted to take a 41 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,720 break from doing readings just so I could be in tune with my 42 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,960 own energy for the last month or the last week or so, and. 43 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,960 The veil is super thin in October, especially in Scorpio 44 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:11,880 season, and a lot of people have to transmute older versions of 45 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,840 themselves. Scorpio, is this rebirth energy 46 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,680 where you take? The cards that you've been dealt 47 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,840 and you make your best bet rather than dwelling or setting 48 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,440 in negativity. So it is super important right 49 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:30,520 now to rejuvenate and to like relax as well as just let go. 50 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,440 Purging old dynamics, old connections, letting go of 51 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,200 material things is super important as well. 52 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,360 This sounds stressful. I'm not letting go of shit right 53 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,360 now. I'm just kidding. 54 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,040 I'm excited about having the break and getting to have that 55 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:51,920 time to like really tap in with myself and with my family too. 56 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,560 Like my parents are going to be coming and visiting. 57 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,160 They're coming in on Halloween. They come here every year for 58 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:01,000 Halloween and we celebrate it together and that like we don't 59 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,400 get together on like Thanksgiving or Christmas or 60 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,040 anything like that. But they come for Halloween 61 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:09,960 every year, which is top tier elite and they'll be here 62 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,080 throughout the week. So that's the starting my break 63 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:18,839 and taking care of myself. And also this is going to be the 64 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:22,040 first time since I've had my son because he's going to be in 65 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,720 school while they're here. So it's the first time that 66 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:28,240 they're going to be here and we're going to just have time us 67 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,360 during the day and not have my son around. 68 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,800 So I think it'll be really nice, Like I want to take them on a 69 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,720 hike and I want to like go and do things with them and like the 70 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,400 good air and make really good memories. 71 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:45,000 I am taking off work on Halloween just to relax and to 72 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:49,120 be with my ancestors and just be in silence, looking forward to 73 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:54,320 not answering anyone's calls or texts on Tuesday just because, 74 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,080 like, the veil is so thin. I just want to be in my own 75 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,720 energy and like not be around people at all. 76 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,360 So I love that for you. I love that you're going to have 77 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,000 family time and I'm going to have permit mode. 78 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,720 I did go shopping yesterday and I got all kinds of cute graphic 79 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,760 Ghostface T-shirts and I'm really very cute. 80 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,600 You know, I am obsessed with Ghostface and I like Wear. 81 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,400 Ghost face stuff all year long. Because when I was a kid, the 82 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,280 only movie that ever really scared me was Scream. 83 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,040 Like I had nightmares for literally ever, 'cause that's 84 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,400 back when we had home phones. And that's back like when people 85 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,640 left the house. You couldn't call them, like you 86 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,400 didn't know when they would be home, but you couldn't call 87 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,360 them. And I was always, like, really 88 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,320 mature. So my mom started leaving me 89 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,720 home alone at like 10 years old. Which is crazy, 'cause I know, 90 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,080 like, you wouldn't do that for you, wouldn't do that with your 91 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,000 son. But like now kids have so much 92 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:57,760 access to everything. It's just like a different world 93 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,760 to think that my mom used to leave and have no fucking clue 94 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:06,600 what I was doing but be gone for hours this. 95 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:11,680 OK, So like my I think. I think girls are a little bit 96 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:17,280 different. Like my stepdaughter is 11 and 97 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,240 we've had, I mean I've had times when I've left her at the, I 98 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:25,480 guess, I guess not for like some long extended period of time. 99 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,400 Like, I wouldn't be like, I don't get home until 6:00, you 100 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,840 get home at 2, go home and wait for me. 101 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,240 But like, I've left her at the house to, like, go run to the 102 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,080 grocery store or something really quick. 103 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,080 No, my mom would go out. She like go to bingo. 104 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,320 She'd go pop her shit like. Out, out. 105 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:46,040 And so literally, like, scream in the ring. 106 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,280 I guess because they involved phones. 107 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,560 Really freaked me out as a kid because I don't know, I just, I 108 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,200 don't know. So it's funny that like 109 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,800 something that used to give me nightmares, as now, like my 110 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,880 literal obsession, like everywhere you look is 111 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,640 Ghostface. But I love shopping around this 112 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:07,240 time of the year 'cause I buy wardrobe for the rest of the 113 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,280 year. I love you talking about phones 114 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:14,200 because all in your childhood, because all of a sudden I just 115 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,640 remembered the fact that like, I totally So I wasn't. 116 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,640 I would get grounded all the time and I wasn't allowed to 117 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,200 talk on the phone. And I was always dating older 118 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,360 boys that I wasn't allowed to be talking to anyways. 119 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,760 I had no fucking business talking to. 120 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,840 And so I used to pay my friends at school to borrow their cell 121 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,960 phones and take them home. And I used to hide them under my 122 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,480 bed. And then I'd be texting God 123 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,720 fucking knows who now and what age they were like throughout 124 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,480 the night. And that was back when, like, 125 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,320 you couldn't make calls before 9:00, 'cause if you called after 126 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,360 nine, they were free. And so I used to sit there. 127 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,760 It'd be like, 11:00. I'd be like, I had a a big walk 128 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,320 in closet. And so I used to go into my 129 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,520 closet and I would stuff towels underneath the door and 130 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,840 underneath my bedroom door to, like, help absorb sound. 131 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,600 And I'd be in there like all my shit talking in my pillow, like, 132 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,840 what are you doing? Oh my God, I wish I was holding 133 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:10,280 your hand, you know. Let's explore that topic because 134 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:15,240 in my teenage years I never had the urge to date or hang out 135 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,720 with 1314 year olds. Like never once when I was 18 or 136 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,080 19 did I think I'm gonna date a 12 year old or a 13 year old. 137 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:27,160 But it's such a common phenomenon like in people in our 138 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:32,919 generation that dated older people like 5-7 years older than 139 00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:35,159 them at like 14 and 15 years old. 140 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,320 And that makes no fucking sense to me. 141 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,960 It still doesn't make sense to me. 142 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:47,480 What's crazy is when I was in I was in like 7th or 8th grade and 143 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,000 there was this guy that was like full grown. 144 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,080 I think he had to have been like 20 or 21 years old. 145 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,760 That was over here sleeping with two of my friends when I was in. 146 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,360 They were 7th or 8th grade and he was like a grown adult that 147 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,200 had a job and he was a firefighter. 148 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:09,240 And I remember them telling me like both of them had slept with 149 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,960 him and all this shit. And so 7th, 8th grade, you're 150 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,880 like what, 13 years old? Like 14 years old maybe. 151 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:21,920 And when I was that grade, I was just like, Oh my God, really? 152 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,000 Like I wouldn't have done it, but I just thought, OK, my 153 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,360 friends are doing that. Like it is what it is. 154 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,960 And so I thought it was so strange. 155 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,920 I started dating one of these girls, older brother actually 156 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,720 and I dated him for a couple of years on and off and I was in 157 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:46,360 8th grade and he was a senior in high school and it was just like 158 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,840 no big deal. You know, and I thought it was 159 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,920 so weird that my parents had a problem with it. 160 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,680 Because I'm like, at least at least he's not 23 like her 161 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,880 boyfriend. I literally knew someone that 162 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,640 same thing they were doing. And like, I'm friends with that 163 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:04,840 guy on Facebook and I see that he has like kids now and I just 164 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,680 like wonder if he considers himself a pedophile. 165 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:14,040 Because like, bro, you were like 21/22/23 talking to 8th and 9th 166 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,560 graders, dating them, sleeping with them. 167 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,880 And then there's another dude that was like friends with a guy 168 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,920 that I dated. And he was way older than us. 169 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,880 Like he was way fucking older. Like this dude is probably like 170 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,640 40 something now, he wrote me on Messenger. 171 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,600 I just left it, I haven't opened it and it says we should go on a 172 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,040 date. Bro, I want to tell you how you 173 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,480 scarred me for life. Like, I want to tell you how 174 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,880 you're a fucking weirdo. But instead the healed version 175 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,720 of me is just going to let you do your thing. 176 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:48,560 But like, you need help if you think I'm going to go on a date 177 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,040 with you like you are a pedophile. 178 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,760 And that is super common. Like, I know that people make a 179 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,720 lot of tik toks about it, like talking about like being in the 180 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,160 back of people's cars and like, not even knowing who they were. 181 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,800 And I just have never had the urge in my adult life to be 182 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,880 like, I'm going to hang out with 15 year olds, 16 year olds, 183 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,400 even. Like, it's just never, ever 184 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:16,160 crossed my mind. Ever for some reason to like. 185 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:23,080 In the town that I was at, it was always like, I feel like it 186 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:27,160 was always dudes that were like, I'm a Juggalo that were doing 187 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,120 this shit like where where I was. 188 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,520 And it was always like it would be like their aunts, uncles 189 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,240 around, like condoning all of this. 190 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:39,000 And like as an adult, I know plenty of Juggalos and Juggalets 191 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,120 that would never do that. And so I'm always just like what 192 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:47,800 is it about the town that I was in where y'all's little, the 193 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,240 little group of you where this was your shit. 194 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,400 And like, does everywhere have that like small community. 195 00:11:55,680 --> 00:12:00,920 And I feel like that's part of the reason that like that that 196 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:06,520 that group of people gets what's the word like stigmas put on 197 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:10,720 them too is because there's small town little versions of 198 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,400 these cliques that are going around and using it as like a 199 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,280 I'm so cool, you should hang out with me while you're underage 200 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,280 tactic. Literally the majority of that 201 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,400 group of people that I'm mentioning were Juggalos, and 202 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,560 those are the people that introduced me to Juggalo 203 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:30,200 culture. And like the craziest thing is 204 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,040 like when this was happening, the Joker's cards were still 205 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,680 coming out. Like we were only on like the 206 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,800 5th Joker's card when this was going on. 207 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,640 And so it's just like crazy that these people like. 208 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,120 Hung out with 13 and 14 year olds. 209 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:49,200 But I just believe, if I think about it, like people their age 210 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:53,280 knew that they were bums, like knew that they were, you know, 211 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,160 mooching off their mom or whatever. 212 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,160 But when you're young, you don't realize things like that because 213 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,600 you live with your parents and you have to live with your 214 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,040 parents. So I just think that like, I've 215 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,600 seen people post about it and they're like. 216 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,080 People their age could see the bum in them, and when you're 217 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,480 young you don't see that because you've never paid bills or 218 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,000 you've never had to do those things. 219 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:21,000 But it's just really ironic that that is very like across the 220 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,960 United States. I guess there was just like a 221 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,840 little group of Juggalos in every town that was sleeping 222 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,360 with kids and trying to seduce them. 223 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:34,160 I hope now that that's something that gets spoken out on more 224 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:40,560 like I hope now that I just hope those people grew up eventually 225 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,360 and that now they recognize that and they can teach something 226 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:49,120 different and that we can like start having a culture where 227 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,840 hanging out with little girls, it isn't a vibe. 228 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,160 Like that's not cool. And when I think about it, there 229 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,480 was never young guys hanging out with us. 230 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,960 It wasn't like my guy friends were coming and hanging out too. 231 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:06,080 It was only us girls hanging out with these people and the fact 232 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:11,720 that, like, we survived because those videos of like that I see 233 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,320 of like, I'm just drinking the sporty in the back seat between 234 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,360 these two dudes that I don't know and someone's bum ass aunt 235 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,520 in the front seat. For real though, I don't know 236 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,480 you, we just met at Safeway. You said that you liked my 237 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,080 pajama bottoms. Did I want to get high? 238 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,160 And I was like, fuck yeah, we'll be smoking, you know? 239 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,040 Honestly, the first time I ever smoked a cigarette, I was like 240 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:35,360 10 years old and it was like a Pall Mall menthol 100 and it was 241 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,200 like back by the train tracks in the small town that I grew up 242 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,440 in. And I just like, remember these 243 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,240 instances, like the first time I smoked weed was like shortly 244 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:47,000 after and it was like at the trailer park, laundry mat out of 245 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,320 the coke can. And it's just like, so funny. 246 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,400 The shit that, like, I have been through to get where I am now 247 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,440 and never once in my life like, did, I realized that the people 248 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,120 I was hanging out with were literally the problem that I was 249 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,160 just like a young, impressionable person. 250 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,960 And I look back on that and like, I don't begrudge those 251 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,440 people. Most people are in prison or 252 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,080 just like fucked up somewhere, but it just blows my mind that, 253 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,720 like, I thought that was cool and it also like, set the 254 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:21,720 standard for me in my teenage years to continue like. 255 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,600 Getting fucked up and doing pills and drinking. 256 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,600 Because I just thought that was normal. 257 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,600 Like I thought that's what everyone did. 258 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,680 And then when I finally, like, moved in with my dad and like 259 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,040 had a curfew and I'll talk to you about this. 260 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,160 Before he was really strict, but then I look back on it and he 261 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:41,080 was just literally just being a normal parent and like my mom 262 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,880 was just letting me run wild. So it's funny to like, look at 263 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,240 that dynamic as an adult. I don't begrudge those people. 264 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,480 I do think a lot of those people have mental health issues. 265 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,840 And that's another thing that the people their age were like, 266 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,520 hell no, hell no. And that's why they were dating 267 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,320 14 year olds. But like I said, I see these 268 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,960 people on Facebook and they have not changed at all. 269 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,520 I was just, I just realized something as we were talking. 270 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,080 And I remember when I started, when I started becoming like a 271 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,840 junior senior in high school, my boyfriend lived an hour away. 272 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:24,440 And I used to just take the there was like a shuttle bus and 273 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,960 I used to just take it to his house and I basically lived at 274 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,720 his house. I was homeschooled. 275 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:32,560 So I would go once a month to school real quick so that I 276 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,360 could go and turn my work in. And then I would go right back 277 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,000 the fuck out and I would go to his house. 278 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,560 And as an adult, I've been like, I can't believe my parents just 279 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,720 let me fucking do that. Like basically let me just live 280 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,200 with him for two years. And then I think about it and I 281 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,440 think about all the fucked up fuckery that I was doing between 282 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,080 7th grade and my junior year of high school. 283 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:58,080 And I'm like oh OK, so it was like fucked up. 284 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,440 But at least they knew where I was, You know what I mean? 285 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,440 Like I wasn't out there because I was one of, I don't know about 286 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:10,400 you, but let me tell you about high school young Diana, because 287 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,359 it was pre Gemini days. I was fucking ruthless out here 288 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,480 and I would just be like, I'm not going home tonight so I'm 289 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,400 not fucking going home. And I wouldn't tell anybody 290 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,960 where I was. I wouldn't tell anybody what I 291 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,119 was doing. My friend Ryan that I have now 292 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:29,520 still is older than me, and I used to intern for her and her 293 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,240 husband. So I would literally call her 294 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,080 fucking drunk, still in some field by the side of the freeway 295 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,320 and be like, hey, I need you to come and pick me up, and she'll 296 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,200 come pick me up. She'll take me to her house. 297 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,640 I would get showered, I would go, and I would intern at her 298 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,560 office and I'll just be popping my shit out here, wild and free 299 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,640 in the world and you couldn't tell me shit. 300 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,320 I wasn't going to do anything that you said. 301 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,640 And then I got arrested the beginning of my junior year for 302 00:17:55,640 --> 00:18:00,160 assault and battery. And I went to juvie for the 303 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,480 night. And OK, so actually what 304 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:08,440 happened is I got in, I got in a fight at school and the girl's 305 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:13,680 family was going to press charges and I got a warning for 306 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,920 that. And then I went home and I 307 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,040 wanted to go to my boyfriend's house, said boyfriend that I 308 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,800 would go and live with. And my mom said no and I was 309 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,560 like, well, I'm going to go and do it anyways. 310 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:31,160 And so she no What happened? There was like bubbles from your 311 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,240 face and then a thumbs up just came up out of nowhere. 312 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,520 That's so fucking odd. I don't know. 313 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,880 I don't know either, But I got into it with my mom. 314 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,880 She told me that I couldn't leave and I was like, I'm not 315 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,680 asking a question. And so I tried to push her in 316 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,920 the hallway. So she like pulled my hair or 317 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,600 something. I tried to, I tried to go at her 318 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:57,960 first, and then I was trying to leave out of our side gate and 319 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,760 she tried stopping me. So I bit her hand and I told her 320 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,400 she was a bitch. And then and I'd never called my 321 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,960 mom a bitch before and it's like to this day traumatized my 322 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:10,360 little brother and I ran to the other side, the backside of our 323 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:14,320 fence and we had this like chain link fence and my dad had a 324 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,040 rolled up thing of chain link. So this day I couldn't recreate 325 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,600 it. My dad is like, I don't know how 326 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,600 you did it, but I basically was a determined ass hoe and I 327 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:28,720 fucking jumped onto this big ass thing of chain link and then 328 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:32,160 fucking popped my happy ass over our chain link fence in the back 329 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:36,080 and was like, I'm going to my boyfriend's house and fucking 330 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,440 took. He lived an hour away. 331 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,640 I don't know what I thought I was going to do, but I fucking 332 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,280 ran away. The police picked me up and they 333 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:48,880 took me back to my house because my mom called the cops and that 334 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,320 was my second assault and battery because I'd gotten in 335 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,080 the fight at school. So the officer was going to, 336 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,880 apparently he was just going to let me go, but he was sitting me 337 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,440 on the steps in front of my house and he's like. 338 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,040 You want to get arrested? And I said, does it look like I 339 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,680 want to get arrested? And I was just giving him a 340 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,680 bunch of shit. And so he stood me up and he was 341 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,480 trying to scare me. So he told me that he was 342 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,040 arresting me and I will never forget. 343 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,600 He asked me if I had any weapons on me and he asked me if I had 344 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,960 any grenades. And I was like, where the fuck 345 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,200 am I going to get a grenade? And I was like, what a stupid 346 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,840 fucking question to ask. And I'm like, pigs, always ask 347 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,040 stupid fucking questions. And so I got arrested. 348 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:36,480 That was me. That was that was young me. 349 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,840 We're different. We've changed. 350 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:43,120 Good fucking Lord. No wonder people think you're a 351 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,320 cult leader. She has grenades. 352 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:49,240 Y'all, I will never forget that. I'm always just like, what a 353 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,960 stupid fucking question to ask. Like, anyways. 354 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:59,120 But I yeah, I I was a person. She's wild, honestly, in my 355 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,920 childhood. I would be in places where other 356 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,880 people would be going to jail or getting in trouble and I would 357 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,320 always get to go home. I talked about this the other 358 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,680 night to my friend. Like I have always had extremely 359 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:17,120 great luck with cops. Like one time I was in a car 360 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,520 breaking the law, doing things I shouldn't have been doing. 361 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,320 There was a gun in the car, shouldn't have had that gun. 362 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,240 It wasn't mine. But we got pulled over and 363 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:29,240 basically someone in the car had a warrant for their arrest. 364 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:34,000 So they basically arrested the person with a warrant, didn't 365 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,920 even search the car and let us go, even though if they would 366 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,160 have searched that car we all would have went to jail. 367 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:43,600 Then there was another time I was leaving a house party and we 368 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,240 were on these country back roads and there was an ambulance and 369 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,120 whoever was driving thought it would be a bright idea to. 370 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,720 Tailgate this ambulance with his fucking lights on. 371 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,200 So of course they radioed the cops and we got pulled over and 372 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,080 I literally got to leave that time too. 373 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:05,040 Like I always get to go home. I never in my life get in 374 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,480 trouble. I don't know what it is, but I 375 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,840 literally should have a fucking rap sheet and I don't. 376 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,560 And now I don't break the law now. 377 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,560 As soon as it gets dark, I'm going home. 378 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,360 If people are drinking and driving, I'm not riding with 379 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,320 you. If people want to stay out, 380 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,120 that's cool. But I'm not. 381 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:29,480 I'm going home, yes. I've also just changed my life 382 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,720 around the country roads, man. They're doing crazy shit and you 383 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,800 got away with stuff because you look innocent. 384 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,680 I didn't get away with things because my mouth was reckless 385 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:42,920 and I lived my whole life on waiting for you to give me a 386 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,960 fucking reason. Yeah, I don't know. 387 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:51,320 I'm really glad that young Mee gets to like be healed and not 388 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,120 traumatized through those actions. 389 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:56,720 Cause like honestly, going through a lot of that has helped 390 00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:01,640 me be a better person, you know, Like I used to think that life 391 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:06,920 was just like super. I don't know why what I want to 392 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,720 say, like life was cheap. Like I didn't really put a lot 393 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,800 of emphasis on my own safety. I would get in cars with people 394 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,800 that didn't have licenses or they didn't have insurance. 395 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:21,000 Like until I went through a lot, like a near death experience, I 396 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,240 did not see the impact of my actions at all. 397 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,920 But then once you get in a car wreck and you get hurt really 398 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:33,600 bad and you have to be cut out of a car and all these things 399 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,200 then. And I'm like, oh, hell, no, no, 400 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,560 I will not. And also, I think, like a lot of 401 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:45,600 people didn't have the option to go crazy in their teenage years. 402 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,040 So they did that in their 20s. And then you go to jail. 403 00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,120 You're not going home. You're going to jail or you're 404 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,040 going to rehab or you're going wherever. 405 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,560 So I'm really glad that I got most of that out of my system 406 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:01,440 between like 14 and 21. So that way, like in my adult 407 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,280 life, I never actually got in trouble. 408 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,320 And never really had to, like, face the consequences. 409 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,920 Like, I learned my lesson and I'm grateful for the universe 410 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,680 for showing me those very early on. 411 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,360 But a lot of people, like, their parents, were helicopter parents 412 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:20,360 and they didn't have the freedom to just go buck wild. 413 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,960 And I'm really glad that I was able to do that in moderation. 414 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,720 But it wasn't until like my mid 20s that I started realizing 415 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,880 that like. Those people that I hung out 416 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,120 with who I thought were cool were fucking weird in pedophiles 417 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,400 and like not cool. Like needed help and shouldn't 418 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:37,960 have been hanging out with 14 year olds. 419 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,920 But you know, at the end of the day, I survived and I'm here to 420 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:43,680 tell the story. So I think that's good. 421 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,480 I'm glad that we're here to tell the fucking story. 422 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:53,120 I wonder. I wonder if we had met like our 423 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,680 high school versions of ourselves when we were in high 424 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,040 school. Like, I wonder if what we would 425 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,560 have thought of each other. Like, would we be friends? 426 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,040 Or like, what would it have been like? 427 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,880 I just wonder. Clearly we were doing the same 428 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,480 fuckery. You were just quiet about it. 429 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,680 I mean, I was a little low key, but like, I'm really glad that 430 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,920 we didn't have cell phones to document all of that. 431 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,000 Like I didn't get a cell phone until I was like. 432 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,120 I think I was like 12 or 13, but my dad wouldn't put service on 433 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,000 it. I just had Internet and text 434 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,400 messaging because I had a sidekick like the first 435 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,680 smartphone that had came out. He got it for me for Christmas 436 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:35,000 so I could talk to him when I was at my mom's through text. 437 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:39,120 But like, it was really weird because I couldn't call anyone 438 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:45,120 on it. So I remember having a Myspace 439 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,960 that I wasn't allowed to have. Like my dad was like, you can't 440 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:52,120 have Myspace. And I remember when my dad found 441 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:57,840 my Myspace page cause some little rat bitch told him and my 442 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:00,920 like, you could customize it or whatever. 443 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:06,240 So I had Playboy like paper on the back, whatever theme. 444 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,520 And then my song on my page was microphone by Jeffrey Star. 445 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,520 So it's like, hold me like a microphone. 446 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:18,520 And I remember my dad fucking finding that page and I was 447 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,840 fucking dying. I I remember I walked behind him 448 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,960 and I saw that he was on my Myspace page. 449 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,520 So I went and I locked myself in my fucking bathroom and I was 450 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,840 just having an anxiety attack and was just like, like, you 451 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,800 know, when you get in trouble and you're just like, I've been 452 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,840 fucking caught, what do I do? How do I lie about this? 453 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,520 How do I get out of this? What do I do? 454 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,880 And I'm being like that's not my Myspace page. 455 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,840 You know, I used to make those AOL home pages with the little 456 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:55,360 like little doll things and like to have this thing and it was it 457 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,200 was from that jaw roll song and it would bounce around and it 458 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:03,000 said baby boy put it on me. Cannot, cannot even imagine what 459 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,880 the 10 year old me thought that was meaning or the fuck I had 460 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,280 that on there. But I really specifically 461 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,160 remember when AOL was like transiting away. 462 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,840 Like AOL wasn't the thing anymore. 463 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:20,160 Like you moved to like the Internet type thing from your 464 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,880 cable provider, like at our time it was like Windstream or 465 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:28,600 Bellsouth or like whatever. I was so salty that like my AOL 466 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,640 homepage was going to go away. But then I migrated to 467 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,960 vampirefreaks.com which is still a website and I was literally 468 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,280 like top ranked on there. You got ranked like 1 to 10. 469 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,520 And I literally started the original like nice girl, hey 470 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:48,120 girl thing and I would be like, hey, love your profile basically 471 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,080 like copy and paste different things to different people. 472 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,480 And it was kind of like. Shout out for shout out, but 473 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,040 instead it would be like, I'll rate you, you rate me. 474 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,960 And I went all the way to number like three and four. 475 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,360 And my aunt brought it up recently at like a family event 476 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:07,360 how she was so shocked that my mom was allowing me to be on 477 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:10,320 there and she was like, I thought for sure you would get 478 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:15,040 kidnapped because you had like. I want to say like 200,000 479 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,360 followers on there and this is like in the peak of the 480 00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:20,600 Internet, like this is when a million users would have been a 481 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,080 lot of users. And so the owner of Vampire 482 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,440 Freaks, his name was Jet. I think he still owns it. 483 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,560 It's kind of like transitioned into like a dolls kill website 484 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,240 where they sell merch and stuff. You can check it out all you 485 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,560 want to go check it out, but it was like the original Suicide 486 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,400 Girl platform, like before Suicide Girls was a thing. 487 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,680 It was like that. And it was when people would 488 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:46,360 like have those clippin colorful dreads and extensions and stuff. 489 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,400 And I was literally like 1314 years old on this. 490 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,040 Like I was going into high school still using this. 491 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,520 And I remember people being like so shocked when they found out 492 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,040 that I was like #3 out of like a million people on there on the 493 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:03,040 girls side. Because I literally like was so 494 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:07,520 like community driven and you could create these communities 495 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,080 on there. And they were called Colts. 496 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,040 And ours were called, ours was called Brutal Bitches. 497 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,640 No clue why 'cause I had like, this nice girl thing, but it was 498 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,480 like you would get in there and you had to like do all this. 499 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,320 Like it was almost like a sorority on crack. 500 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,920 Like you had to jump through all these hoops to join our cult. 501 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,600 And it was like really weird. I don't know. 502 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,800 It's just like when I look back on that, I was like 1314 years 503 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,880 old doing that. I used to be on all types of 504 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,240 shit talking to all types of people and just like it was no 505 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:42,840 fucking big deal. And it really is wild out here. 506 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:47,000 I remember when I found, oh fuck, they still have it. 507 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:53,600 Like it was like a Vine, but it had a different name, Zynga. 508 00:29:55,440 --> 00:30:00,520 No, it wasn't Zynga. Fuck, it was super popular. 509 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,000 And I just can't think of what it is. 510 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,160 But I remember used to be on there and people would be 511 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:10,440 posting all types of fucking like fetish shit, freaky shit 512 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:15,680 all over the place and you would just see random people's fucking 513 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,760 pussies all over the place. And I was just like, Oh my God, 514 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:25,040 this is like what it is. Honestly, it blows my mind. 515 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:29,400 The capacity that my mom just gave me. 516 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,440 Free reign of the fucking Internet. 517 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,720 Like I could use the family computer better than anyone in 518 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,440 the house and not even knew I was doing stuff like that. 519 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:42,040 But my mom, like one year for my birthday, I needed, I think it 520 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,800 was like maybe $40. For the premium version of 521 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:49,960 Vampire freaks, which means that if someone rated you lower you 522 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,560 could see your ratings. So like I could see if someone 523 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,200 tried to like come and take my average down or something and. 524 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,480 For 40 bucks go to. Check and sent it to these 525 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,960 people. And my aunt was like, I was so 526 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,000 floored when I found out that your mom had paid for you to be 527 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,560 on that website. But to my mom though, I feel 528 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,760 like the Internet was like a free babysitter because she 529 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,400 could literally leave and know that I wasn't going to go 530 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,720 anywhere. I would spend hours on there. 531 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,520 And it's funny because I have two friends that I still talk to 532 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:27,320 right now from this day. One lives in Vegas, one lives in 533 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,840 Canada, and I've known them since vampire freaks. 534 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,800 And then there's a local girl that I ended up going to high 535 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,480 school with, 'cause this was middle school that I met on 536 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:39,520 Vampire Freaks and she commented on my Facebook the other day and 537 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,480 brought up vampire freaks on my status about being an emo kid. 538 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,200 And I was like, that's so wild that that is where we met. 539 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:49,280 But we ended up going to high school together later and like 540 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,400 actually being real life friends, so. 541 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,920 If you are a real emo kid, you know about vampire freaks. 542 00:31:54,920 --> 00:32:02,320 If you were a poser, you don't. I feel like when I was or when 543 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,400 we were kids, the Internet was just such a new thing that they 544 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,680 just didn't think that anything bad was going to happen on it. 545 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,200 Like they just didn't understand, I think the capacity 546 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,200 of what we were able to do on there, because it's not 547 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,560 something that they were doing. Like, we just had really unique 548 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:25,160 shit happen in our childhood and we were the test babies for it 549 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,200 and our parents didn't fucking know what was going on. 550 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:32,360 Like, I mean my I remember my mom would only go on the 551 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:36,560 computer to go and check her AOL account and find out if somebody 552 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,640 had messaged her. And I'd be over here fucking 553 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,360 hogging up everything. Wouldn't be able to get calls to 554 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,160 our house for who knows how long. 555 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,040 You would have just gotten, you know, the dial up sound and just 556 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,520 so crazy. We ended up getting 2 phone 557 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,000 lines like one just for me to use the Internet because like if 558 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,800 not no one could use the phone at the house like I remember. 559 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:03,360 Being on the fucking computer for like 12 hours and not 560 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,760 moving, not even wanting to move. 561 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,080 Like to the point where we took the family computer out of the 562 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,200 living room and put it in my room and they got another 563 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,920 computer because no one could do anything on there at all. 564 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,480 But I do think that like growing up with the Internet, it's 565 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:22,160 really amazing that we were using like coding and HTML and 566 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:26,360 stuff like they were like no, we need to dumb these motherfuckers 567 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,960 down. They are getting way too smart 568 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,280 because. Because if we would have 569 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,440 continued using Myspace and coding like that, we were 570 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,480 literally like French kissing a six figure job and they did not 571 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,960 want that because a lot of us could have became hackers and or 572 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,560 anything. Like I remember being able to go 573 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,560 to a website and still their entire code for everything that 574 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,000 they were doing and run that back to my own site. 575 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,560 Like run that back to my AOL page like I could, literally. 576 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:57,640 Break down someone's entire website in like 20 minutes and 577 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,040 still whatever I wanted from it at any point, that is. 578 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,600 So. It's just so crazy talking about 579 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,120 it because I just remember now doing so much shit that we 580 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,719 didn't do before. And I feel like that's why 581 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:14,840 there's such a number of us that are like, I'm going to utilize 582 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,600 the Internet for like my marketing for doing all of these 583 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,040 things because we were doing it since we were little, like 584 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,560 socializing and doing everything that we were doing. 585 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,400 We were just marketing something different. 586 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:29,120 I mean the fact that I can maintain 2 Internet friends for 587 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:33,679 20 plus years who I've never met in person is crazy. 588 00:34:33,679 --> 00:34:37,600 Like I follow both of them on Instagram literally like text 589 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,600 both of them, couple of them like. 590 00:34:40,159 --> 00:34:41,719 Both of them. I mean, not a couple, but them 591 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,000 too. Like we all three were friends 592 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,280 on there. Like we ran the cult together, 593 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:50,080 like all of that. So like, it's just mind blowing 594 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,560 because that was back whenever people would do the signs on 595 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,480 their hand. Do you remember that? 596 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,520 Yeah. Yeah, so my vampire. 597 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:05,480 I never did roar, but my vampire freak's name was XX Pager and. 598 00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,560 That was and then what's other? The other crazy thing is my AIM 599 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,960 screen name was Red Cherries 2002. 600 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,600 And so my friend's dad would only call me Red Cherries like 601 00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:18,440 because that's like would always be dinging on their family 602 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:19,560 computer. Red Cherries. 603 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:24,440 But it blows my mind how far the Internet has evolved into this 604 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,480 fucking marketing scammer bullshit. 605 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,400 You know thing like what was I going to say like? 606 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,480 Pyramid scheme. I feel like the Internet is like 607 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,800 a pyramid scheme, especially how Instagram and these platforms 608 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,720 are all like wanting you to subscribe to people's bogus ass 609 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:46,680 content like. They all just want money and 610 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,680 instead of people paying attention to magazines and ads 611 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,440 and newspapers, it's all shoved down your throat. 612 00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,960 And like I said in a previous episode, that was what I think 613 00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,920 our parents and grandparents had going for them is if they wanted 614 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,240 to shut the shit down, they could. 615 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,760 They can put ACD on. They could do whatever, Put a 616 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:07,880 movie on. No ads, no buy this, buy that. 617 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,800 Like here. Recently my targeted ads have 618 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,920 been like for really luxury items like. 619 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,760 I've been talking a lot about Maserati, so I'm getting 620 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,520 Maserati ads. I get a lot of Louis Vuitton ads 621 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,120 despite never shopping on their website. 622 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:26,160 Like the amount of ads that I get that are targeted for these 623 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,440 luxury brands like Chanel and all this. 624 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,400 I'm like, this phone thinks I got money, money, Like this 625 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,720 phone thinks I'm popping my shit all day and all night. 626 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,520 And I need to go to the Louie website because I'm gonna buy 627 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,320 something. But it's like our phones really 628 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,560 do listen to us. Like I saw something. 629 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,200 I walked past Claire's in the mall. 630 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:49,880 Yesterday, and the little girl was getting her ears pierced and 631 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,840 I looked at my friend. I was like, that is the worst 632 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:53,960 place to get your ears pierced. I just don't know why people 633 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,400 don't take their kid to a real place to get their ears pierced. 634 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,440 And then I had an ad on Facebook last night that said it looks 635 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,000 like you were shopping at Claire's. 636 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:07,880 Yes or no? Swear no, bitch I wasn't. 637 00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:11,800 Also, the amount of people that don't know that you shouldn't 638 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,760 get your ears pierced at Claire's and aren't educated on 639 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,080 that. Like, I know that we weren't 640 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:20,480 educated, like our parents were educated on that, but also 641 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:25,600 getting piercings and tattoos was still considered so taboo. 642 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,600 Like, now it's like a popular thing that's done. 643 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:32,400 But like when we were growing up, like going to like a tattoo 644 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,160 parlor or like a piercing shop was like a taboo fucking thing 645 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,400 to do. And so people would take us to 646 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,240 Claire's or whatever. And I remember my I had to have 647 00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:46,840 my ears pierced twice. My ears got infected and my mom 648 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,520 had to take my earrings out. And then one ended up getting 649 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,240 infected again when I got it pierced later on in life. 650 00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:58,360 But my mom was able to heal it and just like it's inside of a 651 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:03,120 mall, it's not sanitary. Those people are not trained in 652 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:08,000 cleaning those guns or doing anything sanitary at all. 653 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,040 They literally would hole punch our fucking ear, put an earring 654 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,400 in it, and I don't even know if they wore gloves. 655 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,680 You know, I just think it's really fucking weird because 656 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,360 like the health department allows that and I just don't see 657 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,640 how. I do not see how people are 658 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:26,480 still taking their kids as we speak to Claire's in the mall To 659 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:30,680 get ear piercings and Claire's is just like expensive Wish 660 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,480 products. Like everything you can get in 661 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:37,560 Claire's for 12/20/40 dollars, I can get on Wish for $2.00. 662 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,720 It's the same thing. It does not make sense. 663 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:43,760 Claire's has capitalized off cheap. 664 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:49,160 Plastic bullshit products and I used to always go in there as a 665 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,000 kid and want to spend money in there. 666 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,960 And it's the same thing with a lot of the brands like Hollister 667 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,920 and Abercrombie. Like the quality started out 668 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:02,560 good and overtime it just kept getting cheaper and cheaper and 669 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:07,160 cheaper and it's just like we've gotten to a point where 670 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:11,400 everybody's products. Are cheap and some of them are 671 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,920 expensive and some of them are priced reasonably. 672 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:19,160 But at the same time, I'm just like, I don't understand the 673 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:23,240 ideology with the Claires taking your kid there. 674 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,040 I also don't think that you should Pierce kids ears until 675 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,960 they're old enough to be like, I want this. 676 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,680 I know I had my ears pierced when I was a kid. 677 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,400 My mom just did it. But at the same time it's like 678 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,880 stop taking babies to Claires and getting their ears pierced. 679 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,800 It's gross. Oh, the baby's getting it done. 680 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,840 I remember. I I remember little pieces of 681 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,560 getting my ears pierced when I was like 5. 682 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,120 Like I remember I had Elmo. I remember going and sitting in 683 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:55,080 the chair. I remember how it felt to have 684 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,440 the person walk towards me. And I was fine after the first 685 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,720 year, but then I was so scared to get the second one and my mom 686 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:04,760 like held my hands down. Like I remember. 687 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,440 I remember like not in like an aggressive way, but like in a 688 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,960 like I'll hold your hands and let them do it type of thing. 689 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:16,640 And then I remember also I got in trouble when we got back to 690 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,280 the house because I peed in the bathtub. 691 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:24,560 Well, there you go. Memory from the memory bank. 692 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:28,440 I hope you all were ready to go down memory lane today, because 693 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,480 that's where we're at, is memory fucking lane. 694 00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,400 That's. Going to be the name of the 695 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:38,360 episode Memory Fucking Lane. Do you want to do a human design 696 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:43,600 card? Yeah, I surely do. 697 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,240 Damn, that was. Quite the ride we just went on 698 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:55,600 roller coaster ride. Roller coaster. 699 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,960 We already read this one, so I'm not going to read it again. 700 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,360 But we said roller coaster ride in the carnival. 701 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,240 Fucking merry go round popped out. 702 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,400 You can read it again whenever you want to do. 703 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,080 We got a different one. We got Firefly. 704 00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:23,720 Oh, before we pull the human design card, I meant to tell 705 00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:26,600 you, I watched House of Wax for the first time last night. 706 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:33,000 Have you ever seen that bitch? My mind was fucking blown. 707 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,760 I have never seen some. I was so annoyed in the 708 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,800 beginning. It's just the level of stupid. 709 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,920 And then I was super into it. And then? 710 00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:45,800 That's the movie where Chad Michael Murray was married to 711 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,400 Sophia Bush at the time. But then he fucked Paris Hilton 712 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,360 and fucked up his marriage. So then while I'm watching this 713 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,600 movie, I'm just thinking about how like, they literally just 714 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,160 destroyed his fucking marriage over that movie. 715 00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,080 And then I was like, Dang, like this is a home wrecking movie. 716 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,160 But I was super into the storyline. 717 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:09,440 So there's that Firefly card number 2, Horus. 718 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,680 Horus. The gift is so the sign. 719 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,960 Obviously Taurus. The gift is in flow and your 720 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,280 shadow is out of sync. When you remember the 721 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:24,920 fundamental magic that resides within you, all of life opens up 722 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,960 and you're able to be in harmony with the energetic flow of 723 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,840 everything around you. Synchronosity becomes the thread 724 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:34,000 that holds all of life together for you. 725 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,120 You surrender to life itself and allow your receptive feminine 726 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,360 energy to receive, allowing your inner sense of direction to call 727 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,920 the shots. With that, your aura expands and 728 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,360 prompts others to live in accordance with their true 729 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,440 essence as well. You are the conduit and the 730 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,360 Firefly. The more you trust and flow, the 731 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:58,160 more those rivers churn. As you remember your greatness 732 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:02,200 and the energetic fabric that connects all things, simply 733 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:06,240 being is enough. There is nothing to do, only to 734 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:09,120 be. Your enlivened presence breaks 735 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,840 the barrier between you and the other, which allows you to take 736 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,400 the reins as a natural leader for the willing to unfollow or 737 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,440 for the for those willing to follow, your shadow is out of 738 00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,360 sync. When occupying the shadow, you 739 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,280 might feel lost or out of sync with the greater whole. 740 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,600 Everything is energy, everything is won. 741 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,560 But the illusion of the physical world forces our perception in 742 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,160 the opposite direction, separation. 743 00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:40,600 We then distrust in the universe and believe the falsehood of our 744 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,560 visible experience. The illusion of separation draws 745 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:48,000 us in and makes us believe that we are not an essential part of 746 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,480 the collective, when in fact we are always contributing 747 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,520 energetically to the world around us. 748 00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,960 When overtaken by this shadow, there's a tendency to act in 749 00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,600 ways that disregard our interconnected essence, leaving 750 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,040 to an experience devoid of purpose. 751 00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,160 You might believe that the actions you take have no 752 00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,880 consequence beyond yourself. A denial of your inherent power 753 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,000 as part as part, is to the whole. 754 00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:17,640 You as an individual have incorporated into the world and 755 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:21,320 now have the opportunity to see past the illusion, thereby 756 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:24,920 harnessing your greatness. Your themes are leadership, 757 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:32,600 perspective, vision, trust and timing, and we encourage 758 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,800 everyone to acknowledge things from your childhood. 759 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,160 Don't judge yourself, just embrace who you were. 760 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,920 Embrace that that's got you exactly where you are now and 761 00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:47,560 love that version of yourself. Don't shame yourself, but just 762 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,480 find peace in the moment that you've grown and you've elevated 763 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,200 and you're becoming who you've always wanted to be. 764 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,080 And we love you all and we will see you next time. 765 00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:01,400 So glad that none of you got kidnapped or killed while you 766 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:05,640 were also joyriding in these country streets and we'll see 767 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,360 you next week. Love you.