Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini.
Welcome back to Candy Land. It is Scorpio season and I am in
rare form right now. Jim and I How are you feeling?
Well, I'm a Scorpio Rising, so I'm thriving right now.
I'm really doing all of the things and preparing for a two
week rest period because you keep on telling me you need to
be resting and so that's what the fuck I'm going to do.
So me being who I am, I'm going to work really fucking hard
before I take my two week rest period so that I don't feel
guilty about resting. That's exactly what I did,
though like I wanted to take at least a week and a half to two
weeks off from readings. I had a couple people reschedule
and I knew I would have a couple spells to do.
But I'm really seeing like the silver lining in where I'm at
now because the old me would have loved the fact that I'm
like sold out. People are waiting in line to
get on the Patreon tears, or people are waiting for a reading
for weeks and the new me is like, yeah, y'all can keep
waiting because I need to rest. Like I need to chill but the old
me would have like. Overextended And people please.
And I feel like that's where you're at.
You're still in between like the people pleasing and wanting to
help people more than we help ourselves.
And that is something that's so vital in a spiritual profession
is like you can't pour from an empty cup.
And even though there's people who need you and want your
energy, you have to reserve that for yourself and your family.
Well, in something I was just talking about on TikTok, I just
made a video talking about how as healers, we do all of the
things to take care of ourselves spiritually.
And we're like, oh, look, I need to cleanse.
I need to get rid of this energy.
I need to do, you know, my meditation and whatever.
But that doesn't mean that we're taking care of ourselves
physically, too. And so if you're physically
running on burnout, but you're spiritually taking care of
yourself, you're still burning yourself out.
You're like, for me, I know that when I'm checking in, I'm not
taking care of my body because I'm go, go, go.
I'm doing all of the things. And if I have downtime, I'm
like, I got to meditate, I got to go and you know, do ABC and D
and I really need to be getting myself back on track.
And I talked to you about it like, you know, I was doing so
good on my, like health journey with my physical body for a long
time. And then I wasn't able to see
that physically the way that I wanted.
And now I look back and I'm like, wow, I was looking really
good and I was feeling really good.
And you can tell I was really taking care of myself.
And maybe I'm not like I wasn't the dream size that I wanted to
be, but I had so much energy. I felt so good and I want to
take the time to get back there. Honestly, it's such a wave
because. In each season, you know
something is being highlighted. And right now in fall, it's like
about letting go, letting go of your need to control something,
or letting go of your attachment to an outcome or to an income or
to some type of magical place that you think you're going.
And then in the winter, it's a reflection period, like how can
I recalibrate my system so that in the spring I can spring into
action? I will have the motivation, I'll
have the. Plan.
I'll have worked out, you know, those limiting beliefs and be
able to move forward. And I noticed that, like in the
spring, I get so much done coming out of winter, where I
feel like winter is such a drag. Like winter is literally the
longest season, even though they're all very equal.
And like, I don't know if it's the darkness, I don't know if
it's the cold, because I personally like cold.
I'm not sure what it is, but there's something about winter.
That I am just so ready to go when spring hits.
But I think at this time, for all of us, we need to be focused
on what we're letting go of. And personally for you, you need
to let go of all the expectations that you put on
yourself. Like if you're not pumping out
content, you don't feel like you're doing enough.
And I'll just be honest for everyone listening if y'all want
daily, weekly. Every two seconds content, you
better join her Patreon and steer clear of mine because mine
is more of like community support and like some like tools
and resources. But I am not teaching you all a
segment on everything every day. Like this woman thinks that
she's not teaching a four chapter segment on.
I don't even know occult history or whatever.
Then she's not doing enough. And I'm like, you're the only
person who is setting these expectations.
Like, for me, baby, here's some keywords.
Now go look them up. Get a book like, I'm not your
daily newscaster. I'm going to tell you all
everything you need to know. But she's like, no, if I don't
tell them all about this and all about that and I don't let them
know, then they won't support me.
And I'm like, yes, they will. So I'm working really hard on
that that that's something that I really want to work on with
the break is I do have these expectations.
And I also think that in some ways, I think that the way that
I think about content on Patreon specifically is almost like a
trauma response to things that we went through earlier in the
year. Because I was really like in my
element, thriving, pouring out content.
Like, I've never been a I don't put content out person ever
since I started Patreon because I take it really seriously that,
like, people are putting their money into something every month
to like, get something from me. I feel like and I felt like,
wow, like I'm doing so much. I'm doing all of these things.
And then to have people inside of our communities come back and
be like, you're not doing enough or you're not giving enough or I
felt like I was being taken advantage of because I was
paying or whatever I've been having to really, like, retrain
myself from. And my thinking from that
situation. Because even though I knew that
wasn't true, even though I'm having all of these
conversations with people who were putting more in than those
people were, I still was like, like, that hits like your soul
center where you're like, like that's something that, like, I'm
so passionate about doing and I put so much time and energy
into, and then to be told that it was just difficult.
Yeah. I mean, at the same time, we
have to remember, though, that we're setting the rules.
And if you're abiding by these imaginary roles that are making
you drained and overextend yourself, then like, you're not
helping anyone if you're draining yourself to do that,
you know? And that's where, like, I think
I'm creating a really healthy work life.
Balance because I don't want spirituality to feel like a job.
I've never made it about money. I did free readings for an
entire year where I did over 300 readings that year.
Like when I look back at it, that's like 150 hours of my time
that I dedicated to something that did not make me a dollar,
but at the same time, like I would do that again if spirit
was like. Everything's taken care of.
You don't ever have to worry about taxes or bills or gas or
cars or anything ever again in your life if you just do this.
I would just do that. Like I would not have a problem
with going back to like, the trade and barter system because
like, I'm passionate about it. But also it is a trauma response
to think that we need to turn our gifts into a job.
And I tell clients this all the time.
Find a hobby. Yes, hobbies make people money,
but that does not need to be your original goal.
Say you just enjoy painting, or you enjoy making candles, or you
enjoy creating something, content, or whatever.
Don't do that. From the aspect of I'm going to
turn this into my job, I'm going to turn this into a full time
thing. I'm going to do this 24/7.
A lot of which we limit ourselves by doing that because
then we put a damper on our creativity because it's like,
no, I need to give the people what they want or I need to
align with this certain type of energy in order to be, you know,
received well or supported. And I think that so many people
go from making art. To making content because they
think that's what they need to make.
Like my big thing is like I make art and y'all make content.
Whenever I am elevated in an elevated state I'm channeling
for spirit and I'm creating from the heart space.
When we get into this as a job or I've got to please people or
they're paying money, then it turns into like I'm making
content to please you rather than I'm making art to channel.
So I get what you're saying, but also I don't want it to seem
like the reason that I do what I'm doing is because I feel like
that's something that like I have to be doing because of like
the monetary whatever to it. Because at the end of the day,
like that's not my motivation behind what I'm doing.
I was already doing those things before I decided to go on to
Patreon. I just feel like sometimes that
balance is difficult to find where like where is like my
satisfaction level and things like where.
And that's a personal thing that doesn't have anything to do with
people around me is like how much effort do I have to put
into something for me to feel like that's enough.
And I am like that with so many things in life, not just when it
comes to business, Like my house can be clean, I can have the
house cleaner come in and whatever and I'll still be like,
oh, there's this thing over here that like wasn't done that I
need to go and do real quick to like reach my satisfaction
level. And I am always in the mindset
of it could be better and that is like a how I was raised type
of thing where in and there's a there's always a balance to
that, right? Like it's really awesome to
always be pushed and be like OK, you accomplished that goal now
what's next but not being taught the resting part of it And so
it's almost like incorporated in like my DNA of who I am as a
human of like we accomplished that goal.
What's next? And I have to work on
understanding that something has been accomplished and now I can
rest in between. And that doesn't mean that my
resting is thinking about what the next task is going to be.
Well, I think it's a human instinct to like, always have
goals and like we're very much brainwashed here in society in
general, to constantly be chasing something outside of
ourselves. And that's why I like, I don't
ever want spirituality to feel like a job that I have, to
overextend myself to bring in some type of satisfaction in the
material world, if that makes sense.
And I'm not saying that's why we don't do it full time.
You know what I mean? Like, that's why we're both
like, we need to have outside sources of like, income and
things that we're putting our energy into.
Because yeah, I learned that lesson this year of like, it
seems all cool and dandy to like, do that all the time
because you love it. But then you end up being like,
well, then you think about the money aspect of it.
And I even think about some people that you and I are
mutuals with that I look at them and their posts are salesy and
they're trying to sell you their cell work and they're trying to
all of their content is about why you should book with them
and what you should be doing. And and you know, sure, you're
running a business, so here and there you're going to be
shouting yourself out and doing stuff like that and having
sales. But if your entire everything
is, I'm so stressed out, you know, you talk to somebody and
they're like, I'm so stressed out because I need to sell more
spells so that I can pay rent. I don't want to be in that
mindset. And I've seen practitioners like
starting random gofundmes and random things and my problem
with that is it be the same practitioners.
Yeah, they'll be like, I don't have health insurance.
It lapsed. I need $1500 to pay this and
that. Like, I've seen that from people
that that I know in a way. But The thing is for me, in that
sense is like these same people get lip injections or they go on
vacations or they live in really expensive cities like Los
Angeles and Miami or wherever it's like.
Girl, go get you a small town cottage where rent is like $800
and stop begging for people on the Internet to pay your bills.
And it also be the same people that are like, I'm so
successful, I wrote this book, look at everything that I've
done, but they go in in waves and like you said, it does turn
to be kind of scammy or be kind of salesy.
And I don't like anyone who's trying to upsell me when I'm
already booking with you. Like I will let people know when
they say how can I work with you more?
OK, I'm mentor on Patreon. I have these offerings on
Patreon, but I don't ever be like, no, you need to sign up
for Patreon. Like no, that's what you need.
If someone asks me what I think they should do, I will be like,
you know, these spots are sold out, but you know, maybe keep
your eye on them in the future. I've had people ask me if I
would open up more spots. For them.
And at that time I wasn't really wanting to, but you know, it'd
be those people that reach out, that really have interest that
end up sometimes not doing any of what you've recommended.
And so I just kind of like my website is pretty
self-explanatory. If you click on the service,
it's going to tell you what it entails.
Same thing with Patreon. There's different levels and
they all tell you what they entail.
But I don't feel like I need to. Sell that to them.
Like it's going to be a personal choice.
If they want to invest fifty, 100 or whatever they want to
invest each month and I try not to base my productivity on that.
It's just kind of like they will or they won't.
I'm not going to take it personal either way.
It's kind of like with hair stylist.
I've been seeing a lot about people know showing their hair
stylist or older women who used to get highlights and things
just going Gray because of. The rising of cost and I
understand like people need to make a living, but a lot of
hairstylist come at it from a wrong perspective.
In my perspective, like I used to have a regular hairstylist
whenever I would do my hair white and like really blonde.
So, you know, he made a significant amount of money off
me. Well, four years ago when I said
I wanted to go natural, he was very nice about, like weaving in
the low lights and the highlights so that when it grew
out, you wouldn't be able to tell that I wasn't getting my
hair done. Really appreciated that because
I haven't had to put any color on my hair in four years.
But when I reached back out to him about a year ago about just
getting a trim and a style, he left me on red.
And I'm like, it'd be the same people to saying that they can't
get clients or that people know show them or people are going
back natural, so they're not getting those colors and cuts.
But I reach out to you for a service and you leave me on red
because it's not at the caliber of what I used to pay you $250
or whatever. And so it really kind of irked
me a little bit because I was like, let's be the same person
that talks about people know showing.
And I've never known show like if I.
If he would have told me a haircut is $65, I would have
paid it. You know what I mean?
So it's like for him to just leave me on red and not even
acknowledge that I was trying to make an appointment with him.
Kind of pissed me off and made it where I won't go back to him
for any service, even if I started getting my hair done
again. See, I have been frustrated with
my hair because I I have a hair stylist.
And I had talked to her before about like doing color and doing
whatever. And I told her all of the things
that I've never had a color with her.
I've only had cut. But I had talked to her about
color and I had told her, you know, I'm going to be growing
out my hair. I don't want to have these
colors anymore. I want to go to this.
I texted her with pictures, exactly what I'm looking for,
whatever. And she's like, Oh, yeah, so
then, you know, I, I'm asking for price points.
And it's, oh, it can be anywhere from here to here.
Well, what is that? Like, what do you mean it can be
like that's, you know, a $500 difference.
Like, what are you possibly going to do that's going to be,
you know, possibly $500 more? Because how do I budget for
that? Right.
And so then when I went and I finally booked the service, she
was like, and I booked it the way she said.
She's like, Oh well, when you went and booked it, you know, we
should make it 2 full days and whatever, because, you know, I
need a whole day to take the color out and then I need a
whole day to put new color in. What the fuck do you mean?
Like, that's not what we even talked about.
So is that why it's like a 500? I get very frustrated with the
hair stylist thing, which is why I've always just colored my own
hair and I hate videos on social media of hair stylist being like
don't use at home color and don't do this and don't do that.
You need to go to a professional.
Will you want to charge somebody, you know $1000 to do
their hair and cool those are your prices.
But not everybody can afford to be doing that so why go on
social media and shame people? I don't go like all of you need
fucking healing out here. Shame on you for not booking
tarot readings because y'all are fucked, you know?
Yeah, I mean a lot of it's fear based.
A lot of it's like, oh, your hair's gonna fall out, or it's
breakage or this. But I think a lot of people go
about it the wrong way when it's their full time gig.
And whether you know, and I understand, people want to make
a full time out of their dream, but that's why people are not
attracted to you as a practitioner or a stylist or as
a person. Because you're giving off these
off putting vibes that are like, I want your money.
You're a number to me. You know, you booking with me is
filling a spot that's going to pay my bills.
I deserve to eat too. And all this stuff.
OK, great. That's awesome.
And I'm all about paying for services.
Like I got my nails done last night, took her three hours.
They literally look phenomenal. And basically her underneath.
She didn't have to do that. That means she had to layer with
glitter first and then paint it over it.
But she did that because I'm willing to pay for that.
But once again, when your nails are 100 plus dollars, a lot of
people aren't willing to pay that, you know?
And she says like I'm one of her crazier clients that likes
diamonds and charms. She bought a whole box of
Halloween charms that only me and juber have used Cuba,
because she knew I wanted those. And I and I was like, well, I
feel like I have to get a charm on there this time, 'cause you
bought those for me. And they're seasonal.
And you know, she's willing to invest because she knows I'm
willing to pay for her time. You know that whole box of
charms is probably 15 bucks, right?
Like she's gonna make her money back off of me using them.
But The thing is is like I would never.
Go to her chair and be like, well, my budget's $50.00, but I
want all of this stuff. Like if it take you an hour to
saw my nails off and give me a fresh set, I'm going to pay you
to saw my nails off. And you know, and my nails
looked super perfect underneath. Like, she educates her clients
on the difference between chop shops and like her product.
And I am more than happy to pay double what I would pay at a
chop shop because they're going to last because I can get three
weeks out of them, you know, that kind of thing.
So I do understand that, like skill and time and things like
that are worth accounting for. I saw something once and it said
you're not paying me for the hours.
You're paying me for the years it took to learn this skill.
Absolutely. And I support that.
Like if someone can come clean my house in an hour and a half
versus someone else doing it for three hours, they should get
paid the same as the person with three hours.
If you can do it just as good in an hour and a half.
But it's when you can't, it's when you oversell yourself.
It's when you talk a big game and you can't deliver that.
I'm like, no, I'm not paying that, but I am more than happy
to pay people for their time that they've acquired, learning
that skill. But a lot of people see it as
well. They will do it for $20.00 an
hour. Why won't you?
The skill's different. Yeah, I also think too, you
know, we we always talk about balance and that always seems to
be a theme. And I think that there's a
balance between, you know, being somebody who does spiritual work
and being like I have these service that I can offer.
So like for instance, if I'm doing a reading for somebody and
they are, you know, have a lot of things coming up about
educating themselves or elevating in these ways, or they
have their own gifts or whatever it were they're talking about
it. Then I'll be like, Oh well, you
know, Ioffer these other things if there's anything that you're
needing. These are things that I provide
for a reason. I, you know, I do these classes,
I have, you know, this Patreon if you're looking to just get a
little bit more information. And I think it's important for
people to have that balance of shouting themselves out or
saying what they offer. And then also don't be fucking
salesy about it and scammy about it.
I'm not going to text you and be like so did you put more?
Got into the Patreon thing. Are you going to join?
I didn't see your sign up. You know what I mean?
Yeah. And that's The thing is, like, I
understand offering a subscription service.
It's just like Netflix. It's just like, you know, faster
Internet or whatever. When things get tight, the first
thing to go is luxury services, whether that's your hair, your
nails, you know, whatever. And I know there's always this
big debate of like, oh, they're paying with a food stamp card,
but have XXL nails and their hair done.
Well, I mean, I can like see the fence of that of like, OK,
you're getting government assistance because you say you
can't afford certain things. But once again, these kids would
starve because this person's still going to get their nails
done whether you give them the food stamps or not.
This person's still going to get their nails done and that's just
going to be less for their child.
So when I look at things like that, it's not necessarily for
the parent, it's more for the child.
And I do think that, and there should be some type of balance
with that. But I try not to judge people
for what they spend their luxury money on, whether that's having
5 streaming services and the newest iPhone or whether that's
buying your two year old Jordans or whatever it is like.
Try not to judge people's vices and like what they spend their
money on. Because I've been judged of
like, well, you always have your nails done.
You can't be that broke even when I was broke.
But getting my nails done made me feel good, made me feel
pretty, made me feel excited. And I'm not going to suffer just
because my bank account isn't where it should be, you know,
Like I'm still going to spend money on a luxury service
somewhere in that line. And it's funny because when I
was at my brokest or my lowest points is when I spent the most
money on luxury services, period.
Whether that was hair, nails, things like that.
So I just try not to judge people on what they're
portraying on the outside because you don't know what that
battle that that person's dealing with.
But I don't feel like making someone feel like a number or
like a burden because the number isn't high enough.
Oh, I need $500.00 for that. And then if you're not going to
give that to me, then screw you, You know, I don't like that.
It's like with anything, candles, you know, steak,
whatever. It's all luxury services.
Like if you invest into things that make you feel good, it is a
luxury, whether that is nice sheets and nice clothes or shoes
or whatever. Like cheap shoes and expensive
shoes have a different feel, like one might give you a
blister and the other one won't. Like there's just balance with
everything. And I feel like in the spiritual
arena a lot of people don't realize that it is a luxury
service even though people need it.
So I never want to treat people like, oh, you can't subscribe
this month, don't text me or, oh, you can't do this, don't
text me. You know, I had a client reach
out yesterday and they were like, Can you believe it's been
nine months? I don't save everyone's number.
So I didn't know who it was. But they were like, do you think
you could help my wife with these specific bullet points?
And I said, yeah, you know what? That's one of my more expensive
sessions. It's an hour and a half.
It's, you know, the most in depth session that ioffer within
10 minutes. He booked it for his wife.
That's a $200.00 plus session. You know, like people invest in
what they want to invest in. He's saw what, nine months ago,
that reading done for him and how much he's elevated since
then. He knows that you can't put a
price on that. He didn't even ask.
He didn't even go in to owe, you know, that's out of budget.
He said. I'm going to book hers this
week, and next week I'm going to book me another one.
Yeah, people pay for what they want to pay for when it's
quality, and your quality should speak for itself and your
quality should be the selling point, not book with me because
that's what you need to do, you know?
The moment that people realize that people will pay whatever
your price is, if you're good, is the moment people will stop
trying to sell themselves to every single person they look
at. Oh yeah, and not everybody is
also like we talk about niche markets and things.
Not everybody is your niche market and your personality and
your business like and that people please think people try
to sell themselves just every fucking day.
Outside of business, you try and convince people to like you.
You try and more of your personality to fit inside of
social circles. And a majority of the time, once
you look under the veil, the people that you're trying to
impress are not impressworthy. And The thing is, is, like with
a niche market, especially things like luxury services, you
have to just keep your head down and keep focused until people
start paying attention. And I know that this is
something we've talked about a bunch, But Bunny with her
podcast, Dumb Blonde. It wasn't doing what she thought
it could do in the first two to three years.
And she almost gave up. She almost was like, you know
what, I'm going to throw in the towel on this.
Then the pandemic hit and guess what?
The only thing there was to do was podcast and listen to
content to feel like you were included or being sociable.
I met Bunny during the pandemic, and I remember going to her
studio thinking, like, what's this going to be like?
And I walk in, there's no one's got a mask on.
And she just hugs me like the first time she ever met me, she
just gave me a hug in the middle of the pandemic.
Knowing that I've heard her say, like she's a germaphobe and
things like that. She's like, come on in,
whatever. The thing though about that is
like a lot of people give up on their dreams when they're on the
uphill, you know, stretch. And of course, when you're going
uphill, you're going to feel out of breath, you're going to feel
drained, you're going to feel tired, You're going to feel
like, is this even worth it? But when you're coming downhill
and you're going back down from those hurdles, it's much easier
to get back down the hill than it was to get up it.
And I've just noticed how country I sound when I say.
That like I also think too like from a business aspect if you
are putting in. Because there's a difference
between like you're doing all of the things that need to be done
and you just need to have consistency, and then what
things are you just doing on repeat and burning yourself out
on. But you're not actually doing
anything that's going to move you or have longevity like there
is a time for you to be. Analyzing what you're doing and
be like, Do I need to switch this up?
Do I need to mark it differently?
Do I need to do ABC and D? Or am I doing all of the things
that I need to be doing and it just says that I need to have
consistency because there are a lot of people who will put in?
Who will put in like consistent effort with things for years?
But you're not necessarily putting effort into the things
that need to be putting, that you need to be putting effort
into. And so then you can feel like
you're spinning your wheels and you're not getting anywhere.
So I think that. Talking about again that balance
and that like reflection is really important.
And not just doing things yourself, but having people
around you, Finding people around you that you can trust to
give you business advice, to give you their perspective on
things you know there are I'm fortunate to have.
You and other people in my, in my space and in my circle where
I can be like I'm doing these things.
What do you think? Or I'm thinking about, you know,
switching it up in this way. From an outside perspective,
what's your opinion? The thing about that is a lot of
people will give you very bad advice because they're not on
the path that you're on. And that's what I love about our
connection is when you came to me, you were at like a turning
point in your life and you went and did your own thing for like
a year before coming back to me and kind of like giving me
opportunities to like, come on to your podcast and work with
you on like our own personal time.
But it was never like, I'm going to target Paige.
She's going to become my friend and she's going to help me.
You know, Like, I never felt that from you.
But there are people who have tried to target me in the past
because I am so giving and I am so nice.
Genuinely care about people. They try to use that for their
benefit and then try to lead with this.
Like snaky. I'm going to take Paige's
clients or I'm going to poach clients from her.
And The thing is, no one gives a fuck what you're doing.
You're trying to shove it down people's throats.
And I will say it again and again and again.
When you are genuine and you're doing it for the right reasons,
the universe will align you with people, places and things that
support that. And with Gemini, she came in at
a really perfect time for us to build a connection that I didn't
even realize would turn into a podcast or turn into these
things. But the cool thing about it is
Jim and I had done the homework on the podcast and it all worked
out because she could do that very easily.
And naturally you all, because she had already went up the hill
on her own. She didn't need someone to hold
her hand up there. She had was already up there.
And instead of me trying to pull myself up there and think that I
could do it all on my own, I was, you know, honest and
vulnerable. Like, hey, we should do this.
At the same time. There were three other people in
her ear wanting to start a podcast because they saw it as a
crutch, though they saw it as she's doing all the work, let me
benefit from that. But instead I was doing a lot of
public speaking. I was doing a lot of, you know,
talking and and doing content on my feelings and thoughts.
And people would say, this helps me.
And I never knew that I could ground that into a podcast until
I started doing interviews on other people's podcasts.
Like, I remember not only like Bunnies being the first podcast
I was on, which is so iconic. There was like several other
podcasts that I went on after that that weren't as big,
weren't as exciting, but I still felt just as excited.
Like, even though they may only have 1000 followers, I still
felt just as excited to go on to their platform as I felt going
on to bunnies. And that's my energy, the
genuine energy that speaks for itself.
And that's what we want you all to understand is like when
you're doing things from the heart space and not your ego,
it's going to work itself out. Whether it takes a year or five
years, you're going to get there because the universe responds to
your energy and your authenticity.
Yeah, no, I mean, for our connection, I remember reaching
out to you to be on the podcast. And I had had my list of, like,
you know, when I, when I get the podcast going, you know, I want
to have, you know, ABC and D on the podcast and your name was at
the top of the list. And I remember reaching out and
feeling like you've done Bunny Bunny's podcast and you've done
these other podcasts. And so maybe you would say no.
And then you came on. We had such a good connection
with that. And then we didn't.
It's not like we were best friends from that moment.
Like we didn't talk for a little bit.
We did our own things. And then I remember you texted
me. And I was like, wait, she's
texting me right now? And then all of a sudden we
started texting and I was like, oh, my goodness, like, we're
going to be friends. And then, you know, you asked
about the podcast. And the way that the podcast
unfolded was just so natural, because all of the things that
you're. Really good at are the things
that I have to put a lot of time and attention into doing at the
time. And you know then the technical
side of things is what like is easier for me and the things
that you didn't know how to do yet And it yeah, it was just a
perfect balance and it is really difficult.
I feel like I'm trying to get better about this and you and I
talk about this behind the scenes, but.
And it's really difficult when we're people who see other
people's potential in things and feel like, you know, I I guess
for me, I'll speak for myself. I've had these moments of like,
I just wish that I had been given a chance or that somebody
had shown me how to do something or kind of like taken me under
their wing to show me things. Because it would have been such
an easier learning process for me and I would have done so much
more with that information and so.
In the past when I and I guess in the IT hasn't been very far
in the past I have seen potential in other people and
I've listened to the words that they're speaking and the lip
service that they give sounds so good and I'm like yeah you just
need somebody to support you and help you and give you guidance
and things. Sure, I'll do a project with
you, or sure, I'll help you with this, these things and it always
turns around to bite me in the ass and So what I'm learning is
to. Watch what other people are
already the energy that they're already putting into things
instead of being like, oh, you're at a Ground Zero and you
want me to build you up in all of these ways.
I don't need to be a savior. You're not a victim.
I don't need to step in and help you with all of these things.
You naturally need to learn how to do these things.
You can fucking Google, you can do all of this.
And if you're at a space, where? Now it would make sense to do
something that makes sense, but I'm also like, no new friends
around here. Like, I'm not looking for new
partnerships with shit. And you know what's funny is
that this outside persona that people have of us is.
Is so different than like how we actually are.
Like, you know, we get, you know, told about like things are
just like monetarily based or whatever.
But behind the scenes we literally have projects that are
going to be, you know, being announced where we're making
zero finance or anything from it.
And we're just shouting out our friends or we're just supporting
our friends businesses or, you know, collaborating in these
ways that just boost them because you know.
We love them and we're not even getting anything monetarily out
of it. You know, just like with our
classes, I know that we like give people spots for those.
Like I've given away in the two rounds of my Tarot and Oracle
spiritual class. Like I've given away like 8
spots to random people that support me.
There's one girl won't name drop, but she comments on
literally anything and everything I post.
I don't care if it pertains to her.
I don't care if it's a twin flame reading.
I don't care. Whatever I say, this woman post
on it and I just randomly messaged her.
She's never booked a service with me.
I do not know her on a personal level.
And I just wrote her and said I would really like to have you in
the class. And at first you could tell that
it was difficult for her to receive because she was like,
what do you mean? And you know all these things
when I was like, look, you don't have to be live.
It'll be on a Google Drive. You can watch it when you want.
You can wait till it's over and then start watching it like
whatever you want. And she has wrote me so many
times to thank me. Like it's been like every week
she's like, thank you so much. She replies to everything on the
podcast page. Like she takes time out of her
day to support other people. I see her, she comments on Bunny
stuff. I mean, she just comments on a
lot of stuff. But the fact that she had really
been supporting me without ever really interacting with me
one-on-one was really beautiful. And then, you know, there's
people that live in my city that like, I've never really been
around, but they also share everything I post.
I see them commenting on your stuff.
You know, it's really nice to see that these people have had
like a flash reading or just a small e-mail reading and they
believe in me so much that they're willing to share
everything I do to their personal page.
I don't even have family that do that, you know, So I have given
away so many contrary cherry scholarships for this class
that's like $1000 or more than I'm giving away every semester.
And I have no like remorse about that because if that helps
someone, I mean, there's been plenty of people that like I've
given a scholarship to and they've changed their whole
schedule around so that they can be live.
And for those that don't know if you're in one round, I let you
join the second round for $22.00.
So now the second round is going and some of the people that
signed back up, you know, they're not watching it live
because they watched it live last time.
And I think it's really cool because as I'm evolving, the
information is going to evolve and what you're getting is
evolving. And it's just really nice to see
people who really, genuinely have that support and really
want to support someone. But you can tell when people are
doing it in a snaky way. Like, I really think that was
our lesson this year was like, how to identify, you know, the
snake in sheep's clothing. Like, okay, you are extra.
You are acting like we've hung the sun, moon, and stars.
And I don't want people idolizing me.
Like, I don't want people putting me on some pedestal
because later your ego is pissed that you've put me on this
pedestal and you still feel beneath me and I don't want
anyone to feel beneath me. I give everyone the information
that I've used, whether it's like, oh I went to night light
astrology school, go take the class or oh, I I studied under
this person. But it's funny to me when people
who say they don't like me go and take classes with my mentor
or go and try to train under me in classes and programs that
I've done. You're not competing with anyone
but your old self. So quit acting like you're
racing me on some imaginary race that I'm not fucking racing you.
Like I'm the judge at this point.
Like I'm not even in the race anymore.
Like I've gotten to where I want to be and I'm comfortable in my
own power. I'm comfortable sharing my gifts
with others. But it's just amazing how every
time I level up, someone comes out of the woodwork acting like.
I'm something that I'm not. And I think that, you know, I've
learned a lot from you in this perspective because people do
that to you a lot. Like they villainize you and
then they try to like project that like Gemini's making Paige
mean or Gemini is doing this and all this.
But it's like, no. Gemini just brings awareness to
things that maybe I was overlooking before and I'm no
longer tolerating it. Yeah.
And you're starting to do that with me, too.
Like, I think that we're we're really hitting that, like
comfortable sweet spot in our friendship where, you know,
before you would be like, yeah, I, you know, something would
unfold and you'd be like, yeah, I actually like, I didn't like
their energy with you. I didn't like that idea.
But I didn't want to get in the middle of what you were doing.
I didn't feel like it was my business.
And now we're at the point where it's really like, OK, well, I
don't really know if you should be doing that, 'cause this gives
me some weird vibes or whatever. And.
It does take a little bit of time to like for a lot of people
to be able to form that kind of like trust with each other.
Where I know that I'm going to be able to be honest with you
and tell you that this is weird and you not get upset about it.
And I know that when we look back on situations and things, I
can see people that were around you that I didn't like.
And that I, and not that I didn't like them, but I was just
like, that's super weird. Like, I don't know, there's
something wrong with their face and their energy and, you know,
but I'm not going to say anything because this seems to
be her really good friend. Well, in the long run of things,
they were fucking with you behind the scenes and everything
that intuitively was there was making sense.
And just because you didn't feel it and see it in the moment and
you? Believed the projections that
they had. I'm understanding now that even
though we know our intuition, we know to trust our intuition.
We can sometimes convince ourselves that we're wrong about
it. And that maybe like we're being
in our ego about something or you know ABC and D and at the
end of the day we are actually accurate in our assessment of
people and something that I've really been.
I feel like I'm I'm. Mastering more is not having an
expectation of how people are going to treat or perceive me
because I've done nice things for them, and not feeling jaded
because they didn't appreciate something that I did.
It doesn't make it any less valuable.
So like I've had, you know? Some of the people who you're
saying has been like, you know that I mean, or I'm changing you
or I'm doing ABC and D or whatever, are people that I've
given free things to, I've given free mentorship to.
I've given them free spots in my classes.
And it, you know, before would really hurt my feelings because
I'd be like, wow, I did all of these nice things for this
person and this is how they're going to fucking treat me.
And I would feel jaded about it. And now I'm like, that's a
reflection on who those people are.
It doesn't have anything to do. There's nothing I could have
done differently. It's not a personal attack.
It's that that's where they are on their fucking journey and
they're going to shit on everybody because they shit on
themselves, you know, That goes back to, I've said this before,
like, we open our communities up and like bonded them together
and then we're like, OK, Mommy's going to work now, play nice and
shut the door. And these people, like, we're
giving you free reign to connect with others, to connect with
people. And I've had one of my guy
friends, he said when I first joined your Discord and your
Patreon, I thought to myself, wow, there's so many women in
here supporting each other and getting along.
And he said in the back of my head, I didn't want to like
speak that into existence. But I thought to myself, how
long is that going to last? Like, how long are these people
going to all be playing nice and interacting and supporting one
another? And I think that The thing is,
is we inspire people able to want to start businesses and
want to start spiritual businesses because they see it
working for us. And I think a lot of those
people don't have the right intentions.
They go to our website and they're like, oh, Gemini charges
$125.00 for spell work. I could do that.
And they see it now as like, OK, this person's been uplifting me
and supporting me, but now their competition with me.
Now I want to compete with them because I don't want to go to
work for $18.00 an hour. I want to make 125 in an hour.
I want to do what she's doing. And they don't realize the back
end of like what it took to get to that point.
Like all of the blood, sweat and tears that goes into something
before you present it to the universe or to other people.
And I just can't take it personal where people want to
try to tear me down for something that, like you can't
buy, you can't buy someone else's energy, you can't buy
someone's else's integrity. You can only stand firm in your
own belief system. And I think, unfortunately for
most people, they don't have much integrity.
They don't have good intentions. So when they see someone else
who's elevating or doing the right thing, they think in their
head, well, they must be doing something wrong.
They have to be. I'm going to uncover it.
I'm going to expose them. I'm going to let their following
know that they're not person They say they are and so they
try to get close to us on the back end and want to.
You know, I've noticed that if I am in a friendship or a mutual
connection with somebody, and 92% of our conversations are
about me because they're probing me or asking me questions, it
starts making sense that you're trying to collect data on me to
try to, like, use it against me. And I've had a lot of people
think, because I've told them personal stuff, that they can
block that, like, you cannot block what's meant for me,
whether it's in business or love or relationships or any of that.
If I shared that information with you, that is the testament
of my vulnerability and my openness with the universe to
speak those things outward. No, I'm not going to tell you my
business plan. I'm not going to tell you my
finances, but some personal things, people think because
they know about that, that they're going to use that
against me later. But I've said it once and I'll
say it again. Just because people don't like
the Kardashians doesn't stop them from being billionaires.
You can't stop what's meant for someone.
Yes, they can step on people along the way, they can do
things wrong, they can sell their soul.
But you can't stop that. So if I want to step out into
the spotlight and share whatever I'm here to share, you're not
going to block that. I don't care what you think
you're going to do with it, what information you think you have
against me. And I know that a lot of people
have tried to come between me and Gemini because I think that
they fear the potential that we have together if we stay in this
mutual 5050 energy. But the moment that our
connection was, you know, 7822, somebody's going to look at the
other person, like, you're draining me, you're not doing
enough or, you know, whatever. But it's never been like that
because we both show up equally for each other.
And I just think it's so funny that it's the people that you've
given the most to are the ones that act like you've never done
anything for them. And instead of taking that
personal, I'm just letting people run with whatever
narrative and whatever delusion that they've created because I
don't give a fuck. I really don't like if you're
mad at me or you have issues with me.
I promise you it is one sided 'cause I do not care.
At the end of the day, nobody that's ever had anything to say,
you know, that's been like, you know, we took from them or were
these horrible, awful people, or we say these crazy shit or
anything? Who's ever had any evidence to
back anything up? And that that's always stuck
with me. Like, you know, I know that
there was somebody months ago who was like I paid, you know,
all this, you know, money into mentorship.
And you know, I didn't get my readings and ABC and D well,
baby, when I go on Patreon, you were only on mentorship one
time. And what I see is that you got a
free round of class. You got two months in a chat for
free. You got two free readings sent
to you, and you did a one-on-one video reading with me.
And so you got 3 readings and two months of a chat and
community support and you know a class for free.
What do you mean? And or you know that you know
what, whatever it may be, I've never seen, I've never had
somebody be able to come back and be like these are
screenshots of this conversation that made me feel like you
weren't supportive or you just wanted me for money.
So at the end of the day, people are going to say and project
anything that they want to, and people who are in an unhealed
space and who need to. Have drama are going to latch
onto each other and people who are unhealed and they do not
want actual healing to happen inside of their life and they
don't want to feel like. I think that a big thing is that
people feel that we are judging them because of where they are
on their journey and that's a very personal thing for them.
And so instead of working through those emotions and
figuring out why they feel that way and why support and love
and. And understanding is
intimidating and uncomfortable. Instead of working through that
feeling, they're like, wow, It would be so much easier if I
bonded with these other people who are in the same plane as me
and we can just mentor each other through things.
So you making friendships because that's your comfort
level in that moment doesn't mean that it's a you know?
A healing friendship and something that's going to have
longevity. You're probably trauma bonded
and you're so happy that you found people who are at your
comfort level in your space. And I don't care who takes this
information if you have bonded with people that have been
inside of our communities. And then you together have tried
to alienate our communities and cause bullshit, and now you're
bonded. You're fucking clowns, and it's
hilarious to both of us that you would find.
People at their lowest space inside of a community of healing
become friends and then be like and fuck everybody else.
It's it's hilarious to us to see you post pictures together and
do things together because we are not like, Oh my God, we are
so jealous that they have found these friendships and I wish
they would have stayed in our community.
We're like, well, bon voyage. I guess the parasites are going
on vacation. And another thing to add to that
is there's never been someone who's consistently done the work
for six months or more in our communities that hasn't fucking
elevated, that hasn't left that toxic relationship or toxic work
environment, that hasn't went and started a business that
hasn't went in above and beyond to the next level.
There's never been someone who's consistently done the work for
six months in our communities that's ever acted like that.
It's the people who've been hanging around like leeches for
12 to 18 months without doing the work.
Soon as they get off the call, they go hit the pipe and go
smoke meth with their friend and whatever they're doing.
And then they get on these bingers, these tweaker
excursions, and they bond together with other people who
have pill problems or drug problems.
And I'll be honest, we've all spoke about it, But I used to do
drugs. I used to party.
Five years ago. Me was a totally different
version than who I am now. But I would never look around at
the people that I used to do drugs with and judge them.
I would never look around at the people that I used to hang out
with and judge them because at that point that made sense to
me. At that point, that was where I
was at. But as I've elevated, some of
those same people have came to me, like, how did you do it?
How could you help me? And of course, if you want to do
the work to help yourself, you can definitely elevate from
that. But it's like you said, bonding
together with the lowest vibrational people within a
community space and isolating them and alienating them and
putting false hope into their life and telling them just these
made-up delusional stories that you've created.
Only you believe those. And so then you think, oh, I've
convinced these other people, now I'm their leader.
And a lot of this is like, I don't want to be your leader.
I want you to feel supported and seen.
But you have to lead your journey in the direction of
choice. I cannot be your guide and your
hand holder forever. Like, if you're going to do it,
you got to do it. And I think it's just so funny.
The people who pay or do the bare minimum within the space
are always the ones with issues. Because just for example, I have
a girl who's been on my Patreon for nine months.
She's been on the very top level, the very, very top level
on mentorship for nine months. She's never been in a community
circle. She barely does any of the
extracurriculars that ioffer. She's never hopped in the
discord. And guess what?
She is the most happy and satisfied person that I have.
She's like, I would never leave you.
She's like, I would budget other things out before I canceled
mentorship. She's never went down a level.
She's never ever had any issues. She's lost jobs.
She's changed jobs. She's changed relationships.
She's moved. She's had to give up one of her
animals during this. She's Some of her animals have
passed away during this, and never once has she projected any
of that onto me or made me feel like I needed to do more for
her. She's always very flexible.
You know, if something comes up and I need to change or she
needs to change, there's never any issue.
We text and talk every single day.
There's never an issue. And it's funny that someone can
pay $222 a month for nine months.
You all do the math and never have an issue.
But then there's people who paid $7.00 or $11.00 that have all
these issues. It's like you are the problem,
baby girl. You are the problem.
Not me, not Gemini, not the community.
It's the fact that in real life you don't have any fucking
friends, period. The only friends you have are
people you've met through me or Gemini.
That says a lot about you as an adult and as a person.
And I'll just say this. One of my new red flags and
relationships is when guys don't have a healthy friend group.
Like I've dated guys and they have one friend, like a best
friend or a cousin or a brother, someone that they link with.
But if you don't have a healthy friend group of three or more
people, I see you as a problem. I see you as a red flag because
you're the common denominator in this equation.
And I've noticed when I look back at my relationships that
were trauma bonds, 90% of them had no real friends.
They had no real friend group. And now that I've elevated and I
have healthy friend dynamics, there are these little leeches
and snakes that try to come in and siphon energy from those
communities or from those spaces.
But at the end of the day, you're only easily influenced if
you're not in alignment. If you're in alignment, you can
spot the issue. You may not speak on it, you may
not jump on it, but you can spot the issue.
But a lot of people don't want to face the music that they are
the fucking problem, Period. They're the problem in their
finances. They're the problem in their
relationships. They're the problem in their
friendships and they don't want to admit that.
They want to project that on to someone else or something else
as being the reason they're acting like that.
But it's like at the end of the day, you have to sit with
yourself. You have to look your grown ass
in the mirror and say this is my life and I'm the one that's got
me here. I'm the one that's LED up to
this point. You can't look at Gemini or me
or other people and blame them for your lack of accountability.
And I think that's the one thing that we both do very well as we
hold people accountable. I'm going to do what I've
committed to do because that's what I'm doing for the universe.
It's not for you. It's not for them.
It's for the universe. I'm doing this as a part of my
sole purpose. You can't take someone else's
purpose and make it your own. Well, and also, you know,
there's different ways that everybody's going to give
information and that they're going to say something.
And if you are somebody who you need people who are going to say
things really softly and gingerly to you and that are
going to be like, no, like, come on, we're working on this.
We're doing this now come on. And they're going to hold your
hand and be really soft and gentle.
There are a lot of people out there that do that.
There are a lot of communities that you can join.
And and you know, spiritual mentors that there are that are
very soft spoken and that are going to just, you know, hold
your hand and guide you and and be.
So like tender with you and we're not those people.
And if it it turns out that you don't like the way that we
deliver information or that, you know, the the way that we assert
boundaries or the way that we communicate things, it's OK to
be like that doesn't serve me. And I'm going to, you know, I
need something gentler over here and I'm going to go over here
and it's possible for you to do that and make those changes
without absolutely having to try and tear somebody down or blast
them or say that they're doing something wrong because their
communication style. Isn't your comfort zone.
So like at the end of the day, you're part of yourself
evaluation and you know when you're triggered by things and
you're frustrated by people is figuring out why and then how
you need to navigate. And I tell you what, there are
plenty of people that we. Both that we've moved away from,
you know, teachers that we found, mentors that we found or
whatever that didn't serve us. I haven't had to name drop
anybody. I haven't had to blast them.
I haven't had to go into that side of their communities and be
like, what a piece of shit, right?
Haven't had to do any of those things because I just moved into
the energy that served me better.
Because if I didn't like that energy over there, why am I now
going to lend my energy to their demise?
And The thing is, is if you're here to try to wreak havoc or
tear someone down, then you need to once again self evaluate on
how you are the fucking problem. Because just cause how someone
isn't in alignment with you doesn't mean they're not in
alignment with other people. So you going in there and trying
to sway people one way or another, is your limiting
beliefs. Trying to take away other
people's support? Or like other people's energetic
vibration isn't really affected by your energetic vibration
unless you're projecting that onto them.
And I honestly think that a lot of people wish that they had
mentors and they wish that they had community until they get it.
And then they're needing to be accountable for their limiting
beliefs, for their bullshit. And you know, I will say this a
million times. The real healing journey starts
when you're tired of your own bullshit, when you can look
yourself in the eyes and be like, you know what, I was the
problem in that relationship. I was projecting unhealed trauma
from my childhood onto that person.
Or I am late every day. So that's why I'm not getting a
raise at work. I don't take it serious or, you
know, I only get ready if there's alcohol involved.
If not, I walk around looking like a homeless bum 24/7 and
wonder why I can't get a date or wonder why no one wants to be
around me. And these are just examples.
I'm not even pointing this out for anyone in particular, but
I'm just saying like, we have choices and we have commitments
that we have to have here on this Earth timeline and you have
to realize where you're falling short and not be mean to
yourself about it. Like I tell people, look at why
you are the way you are with curiosity rather than judgment.
It's easy to be like, wow, when you were 23, you were a piece of
shit, and I wish I would have done things different.
Or you could just say I was really going through a traumatic
experience. I went through a car wreck,
which led me to use drugs, which led me to this relationship,
which led me to this job. And I need to take
accountability that that one catalyst moment of drinking and
driving put me into a spiral for five years.
That's just an example. That's not my life story.
But you know what I mean? Like, you have to look at what
led you like Legos. What led you to build that
structure and why is it not in alignment with you?
And how can you break that mold without pointing fingers of
like, well, that person abused me, or I was sexually abused, or
I had this, or my mom's an addict or whatever.
Like you've got to see yourself as the common denominator and
move forward with curiosity and elevation rather than judgment
and and being critical of yourself because you can't get
that time back. And the more you're sitting here
dwelling on it, the more you're going to be angry with people
who have elevated from it. And that's what I tell people.
It be the people that you were at low points with that don't
want to see you break that mold because they're not out of that
energy. It be the people that know where
you came from and know what you have overcome that are the most
envious and jealous of you because they realized that you
both were dealt the same hand of cards and they're losing and
you're winning. Yep, Amen.
On that note, let's pull a human design card.
Here we go. Look at this dog right now.
Tits to the Sky look page. That's a vibe.
She likes the porn couch flipped up, baby.
She. Has her own little cushion over
here. OK, so we got card 24 for the
void. Listen, little Kitty.
All right, the sign it. The sign is Taurus, the gift is
genius, and the shadow is addiction.
OK, gaze into the void and confront your deepest shadows.
Beyond the darkness is a strand of delicate light, a soft beam
to guide you to the ripened fruits of your inner world.
When you're able to transcend the patterns of the shadow, life
expands beyond the previous limitations you've placed onto
it. You're able to see how your own
mind has played tricks on you. Silence befriends you as you
stare into the void with curiosity and awe.
From this gap, consciousness awakens and your innate genius
greets you once again, and again and again.
A spell never broken. Your shadow is addiction.
Rooted within the collective, this shadow bears witness to our
deeply entrenched survival tendencies.
We find a relative comfort and repetition, time, worn patterns
and narrow mindedness. The distorted view that safety
is found only in ways of thinking or being.
This is an addiction to mind centered strategies to avoid
suffering. This could manifest in various
ways, including substance abuse. Seeking solace in the outside
world versus your inner sanctuary or using habits is a
crutch. Anything has the potential to
veer into addiction when we bypass the void and the root
cause of suffering. Your themes are innate genius
patterns, the Void and Silence, and that just really plays on
everything we were saying. Because, and there's so much
underneath the surface that we have to explore with curiosity.
Quit being mean to yourselves and quit projecting yourself
hatred on to people who are trying to help you or people
that are doing better than you. Because like I said earlier, you
can hate what someone's doing and just not say anything and
just move the fuck on. There's no need for the falling
out. There's no need for drama.
So save the drama for your Mama and we'll see you next time in
Candyland. Bye bitches.