Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini.
Welcome back to that Candy Land after a long month off.
How are you feeling? Jim and I?
I'm so happy to be here. My life is felt incomplete
without. I mean, we talk all the time,
but not recording our our stuff, every conversation.
We're like, this should be a podcast episode.
Honestly, I think that taking this time off was a really good
way to bring clarity into both of our worlds.
I feel like in the last month so much has been revealed and the
thing I love about growth is when you react different to
those triggers or those obstacles and they no longer get
as much of your energy or your time or your efforts, But you're
like, okay cool. I know me, and that's going to
be enough. I like that every single
obstacle that gets thrown at us, we just figure out a different
way of growing through that. And it seems like everything
that gets thrown at us, that's supposed to make us frustrated
with each other or something, it actually just makes us grow
closer and figure out okay, So what are we going to do
differently to keep on doing what we're doing?
The really cool thing that I feel like has happened in the
last month is like with Venus being in retrograde.
It's really been the scope at your intimate friendships and
your intimate connections. And I love that we live so far
apart and it's the people in our everyday reality that like, want
to start. Drama.
It's like all my Internet friends, I'm good.
But then it's like, it shifted to those more intimate, like
personal connections that you can't like get away from.
And I love that we're able to support each other through that
without being like biased because we don't spend every day
together. And I think that's what helps
our relationship be able to like have this duality in this
balance is that we're not. Exposed to everything all the
time. But we come together and we like
air it out and we discuss it and I think that's why our
friendship really works well. And to I think that yes, the not
having the bias and not being together like physically every
day to like involved in the same things because we're able to see
things from a bird's eye view where you're able to tell me
like, OK, well you're processing like this and not even like
communicating that. So you can't really be mad at
people not knowing because you didn't say anything.
And then recently, I feel like you are so many chances like,
but I've known them for a long time and like like how do I make
it like work or whatever And it's like girlfriend, that's not
the that's not your friend, you know?
I mean, honestly, in the last month I have done so much spell
work, like just in general for our community, for myself, for
other people. And I have had so many
breakthroughs like within one day results are right there,
1000% and it's just really nice to know that.
At the end of the day, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do because
Spirit keeps rewarding me. I've kept leveling up.
Nothing that was sent to destroy our friendship affected it
whatsoever. If anything, it really brought
us both closer to one another in the community and not keeping
our communities very separate, but completely.
Just like rebranding, how we do our power circles, how we do a
lot of our Just stuff on and off of the Internet, I think.
And I love that. And people don't get like that
type of clarity so quickly because normally we're blurring
the lines or you know, with like, oh, I I'm making excuses
because I know them or that's my husband or we have a kid
together or whatever people say and do.
But it's like when you look at things with.
Integrity and authenticity, and you can have that in a mutual
understanding with a friend. It really is a game changer for
those connections that don't serve you because you're like,
okay, I can let that go. Like that's not who I am
anymore. To give that energy or to let
that trigger me like that's not me.
Yeah, I and I think that's why so many, like you can call them
friendships or whatever, but really probably friendships that
have molded into acquaintanceships.
I think why we've let so many things go.
And it hasn't all been, you know, because there's some drama
to it or something. But it's really been like a I'm
growing and I'm so focused on this over here and like putting
energy into these connections that, yeah, some things just go
away. And I think that that's where
naturally the evolution of life is to hold on to what you've
built or to hold on to connections that you've had.
And you cannot make space for what you're asking for.
If you're holding on to what was, it's like, well, I can't
let go of this person or I can't let go of this situation until
this happens. You're blocking your blessing
because a lot of what is meant to happen is in that unknown.
Chapter. Like the chapter where you have
no freaking clue what you're doing.
That's where all the magic is, like people are scared of that
chapter, but that's where all of the real growth happens, is when
you take a new direction or you try something new, or you start
a class, or you, you know, get a mentor or whatever.
Like those unknown variables like.
Add up to that bigger picture, and when you're trying to
control or dictate or do the same damn song and dance that
you've always done because you know how to do it, you will
always be settling. I think too, it's important for
us to have people inside of our space that support us making
like big decisions that may not make sense to others.
Like, you know, because I think that that something that really
has come up in our friendship is you being like, no, Like if you
feel drawn to that you should spend money on that, you should
invest in that you should do those things and not worry about
a lack mindset where people who I like my family and stuff who I
had around growing up, it was that's irresponsible that you
would go and you would go do that adventure because you feel
you know quote UN quote called to or that you would go and
spend this money on on this thing.
When to me it would be like this is like boosting my spirit
somehow, but to other people it feels like not the rational or
like responsible choice necessarily.
But I always found that I would thrive when I would put myself
in the things where I didn't know what was going to happen.
I didn't have all the answers to something.
It just feels like the right thing to do.
So I'm going to do it and I constantly had to battle with
the but is it irresponsible or whatever Because they think it
is, even though I feel like it's blessing me.
And that's the contradictory environments that we keep
ourselves in that contradict who we're becoming.
And who you're becoming is not defined, yet who you're becoming
is someone that you've never been.
So you cannot keep asking people that you know for freaking
directions on how to get there. Like you can't look at someone
who's never owned a business. And talk to them truly about
taking a calculated risk or doing something you feel called
to do or passionate about. Like whenever we talk about like
me spending money on stickers and different things, like back
in the day people would spend money on like newspaper ads or
magazine ads and things like that, but like new ages like.
Stickers or memorabilia. Things that you can give to
people because in a world where everything's expensive, if you
give someone something baby, they are sticking that shit to
their car window. They are ready.
They got it on their bumper sticker.
Like one of my friends I won't name drop did stick it on their
car. And I was like, you are the MVP
for that. Like you are the one for that.
But I mean, people take little things and create their own
reality and I like to take big things and create something.
I don't know. Like, I don't know what that's
going to create. And that's why, like, when
people are trying to knock me off of my throne, I have so much
grace. Like so much more grace than
letting these people know. Like, you need to lay off the
drugs, you need to go to therapy.
Nothing that spirituality can offer you is going to change
your fucking bum ass mindset like nothing.
Nothing. Unless you want that.
But instead, I'm like, you know what?
I could reserve all that energy to empower people rather than
becoming like the people I don't like.
And even though those feelings are there, and we're human and
we're going to be angry and we're going to have negative
thoughts, I don't have to act on it and I don't have to come down
to their level to express that maybe they know.
And the energetic punishment is that you no longer have access
to me. You no longer have access to
anything I taught you or anything that you learn from me
is like null and void. So pop your shit like.
So take whatever you think you know and go pop your shit far
away from me. Where before I wanted closure, I
wanted to check someone. But instead now I'm just like,
can you get on the quickest train away from me, like as
quickly as possible? Can you get all of your shit,
take it with you. And people are like, what do you
mean? Like, how am I supposed to do
that? You know what I mean?
Like, they don't get it when you're like, leave now and shut
the fuck up. That's it.
That's all I need you to do. Like those things in that order,
a new growth too. So I mean because we, we talked
briefly on the podcast last season about just, you know what
happened in our communities behind the scenes a little bit
and a growth to the. And I don't think I specifically
pointed out to you that you did this, but you're now detecting
fuckery or what you feel like is fuckery and you're like this
just doesn't feel right for whatever reason.
And immediately just like calling it out and saying, you
know, this is how I'm feeling about it.
This is like the direction it feels like it's coming from and
catching that before it feels like people are snowballing it
further. If that makes sense.
Like before things were going to prolonged because it's like I'm
just going to help you on your healing journey.
I want to. I know that you're you're just
really struggling through this you know, whatever.
And now you're like, oh, I'm recognizing it.
And it's actually not my place to sit here and try to heal you
through it and like, hold your hand and be Polly pocket through
it, you know? Honestly and that's what I love
whenever a lot of that was coming to light that people were
like Gemini's making Paige angry and and she's being mean and and
all these things because people used to take advantage of that
giving and healing spirit that I have.
But now I have like activated like my inner collie like fuck
with me and I'm going to burn everything down and it's going
to feel like a hex. It's going to feel like I
directed it to you but like don't come for me anymore at
all. I don't want your money.
I don't want your love bombing. I don't want your.
Your support. I don't want your boyfriend.
I don't want no one. I want you away from me.
And I think that that's been really illuminating.
Like what I learned in July was you have to check the corners,
even if you think you've already cleaned the house.
Like you still got to check behind shit and you still got to
look for. Those spiders and those people
that are like lingering in the webs and the shadows and like
they don't want to be in the spotlight, but they sure as hell
don't want you to be in any spotlight either.
So they're constantly trying to, like, drain you or take energy
from you and distract you. And honestly, like, I'm on this
new wave that like, I want to help people almost like, but I
have to take a step back if you don't want to help yourself.
And be okay with that. Like that.
I've done what I was supposed to do, and I don't owe you anything
extra. I don't.
I don't owe you nothing. And I have had to block a lot of
people lately, like. And when I block you, I block
your mom, your sister, your ex. Like I block everyone associated
with you because I just don't want any.
I just don't want any closure with you like I've seen what I
needed to see and I don't need your opinion.
Like I will block you while you're typing.
Where the old me wanted to argue and be right.
Stubborn like Taurus energy. Now like I'll see the three dots
after I've said my piece and you're typing I'm blocking you
mid sentence. Like, I just think it's funny
how block. I just think it's funny how I
think a lot of the things that see this part of our growth
thing though, right? Because a lot of stuff that
would have really bothered us and irked us before doesn't
anymore. If we go back and listen to
season one and just the way that we talked, the way that, you
know, what we thought was annoying at the time or what we
thought we had to focus on is just so different than I feel
like we do now. And something else too, that the
It's so fucking weird to me because you know, you hear
anybody who is starting to get successful in something that
they're doing or get notability and recognition.
You're always hearing like the people that I thought were going
to be there for me are the people who weren't there.
The people who supported me are the people I never expected.
And it really has been wild to see the connections that we had
before. I feel like before the podcast
really versus the connections that we're having now that we're
doing the podcast. I mean there are people who I
feel like low key said that they supported us that had big
followings that said that they supported us before or whatever.
And then as we've started to do better with things are like, let
me take this idea from you, let me let me copy your your,
whatever. Let me ask you where you're
doing that, how you're doing that.
But I'm never going to give you an energy exchange in any way or
share a post or talk about you. But can you give me all the
secrets to what you're doing and, oh, I'm just going to, you
know, copy this over here and whatever.
And I feel that where I used to have boundaries in a different
way of more of you're not going to fuck me over.
So like, we're not going to even be friends.
I don't feel that way about new connections now, but I feel like
I have like my circle complete and you have to be really
special to, like, penetrate into this circle of trust.
Yeah, I've created a whole new dynamic like I'm not into.
Becoming everyone's like friend or everyone's guru or everyone's
mentor. Like some people, I'll just be
honest, are way too lost for me to help you find.
You've got to go do some soul searching, some rehab, some
therapy, whatever it is. Because maybe just cause I've
been able to heal myself and have, you know, four years sober
and things like that Doesn't mean that it was easy and meant
that I sat in the dark room and I cried and I journaled and I
did the things and I. Did what I had to do.
And I'm so sick of people that want that and they want to take
it from you or distract you from it.
And I noticed that like when we weren't dropping episodes on the
podcast that there was just so many vultures like trying to
pull for our energy. And there are so many people
that I thought were mutuals that are competing and like you said,
taking ideas and things like that.
And that's cool, That's whatever.
Because at the end of the day, a lot of those people.
They go viral. They get this following like
they're so important. And then the ego steps in.
And then instead of doing it for spirit or doing it for healing
or, you know, because you want your message to reach the World,
you're doing it for notoriety. Oh, you got to quit your day
job. So now you want more money.
Now you need this. And that's what I think is so
funny about the spiritual realm and the spiritual journey as a
human is because everything that the spiritual realm.
Tells us is not important. As soon as people get a little
notoriety, that's what they're going in for, like that's what
they're going in for. But spirit is like the karmic
scales will always be off balance if you're chasing shit
outside of you. So the fact that people
constantly want to take ideas or or do things that other people
are doing very naturally, like that's going to backfire on you.
It's like a slingshot, like. You're not going to hit your
target. You might be shooting and you
may have momentum, but you're not going to hit the target and
you're never going to reach that level that that person's on by
trying to emulate or copy that person.
And that's why, like, I love being around very powerful
people. Like being at the table with
Bunny does not intimidate me at all.
I love watching that this woman makes 6 figures a month.
Like, let's go, sis. And the fact that, like, I'm
able to do things for her and like, not even charge her, just
like I got you and she's like, I can't believe you.
Like, thank you, like because everybody wants something from
her, right. Like everybody is trying to take
something from her and she is so giving that I love being able to
return that energy back to her like in ways that she doesn't
expect. Because Spirit.
Puts you at the tables where you can learn and I want to be that
person that gives in like can and help people you know, Like
she does so much stuff that she doesn't talk about like for
other people, you know. And I love that, because real
G's move in silence, baby. Like you can't.
Tell everyone everything, all the time.
And I'm learning that time and time again.
I have no desire to lead you through how to make a podcast,
how to make Oracle cards, how to do anything.
Like we've got classes that we both teach, we have Patreon
platforms that we both use. Like I don't care if you know
how to do it because there's so much information out there.
You can find it. If you want it, you will find
it. And I just get so sick of people
that are doing the work. Having all of these vultures
just trying to take that energy from you and distract you and,
like, put you into their spiral. I refuse to be inside of
anybody's spiral. And there are so many, you know,
I feel like you and I have gotten to the point now in our
friendship where we're really starting to talk about like
personal life, things that we just never even discussed
before. Like talking to you about like,
you know, Journey is like being a stepparent and stuff like shit
that I literally don't discuss with anybody have never dragged
out in any way. And I think that the more that
we notice all of, first of all, I almost feel this like, thank
you so much for like showing how many snakes there are around us
because it makes us close in closer together to like protect
our perimeter almost. And it makes us have these like
just crazy conversations about things that we just haven't had
to have before. And something that I really
appreciated has been when I was talking with you about the stuff
that I've been going through like as a stepparent and just
and just different things, is you don't have the like, well
fuck that baby Mama mentality about it and like shit talking
the situation. You're giving me like different
viewpoints and advice on the situation.
And it's something that I don't think that in the past I would
have appreciated now the way that I do, because I I don't
want to talk about things, to vent about it.
I want to talk about it to figure out how do I feel better
inside of this situation. You know what I mean.
Yes. And I heard something somewhere
and it said the people who always got the tea need to watch
out because tea stains. And that really resonated with
me because there's always going to be drama and tea.
But who you share that with and who you spread that energy to
matters because a lot of people use that against you later.
Like, they will manipulate you with the information that you've
revealed to them. So be careful.
You know people who've always got the tea, I promise you, they
talk about you as well, like behind your back, and they'll
talk about you to other people. And I have noticed that a lot of
people use my name to be relevant because they don't have
any friends. And they realize so that I have
a lot of people who either are friends, are people that I've
known, are acquaintances, are people that I've met through
spirituality, people that I've mentored clients.
Like. I have a big group of energy
around me. And I'm not going to say that
everyone feels this way, but naturally, as humans who are
lonely and depressed and on drugs and wherever they're at in
their mind, they don't want to see you surrounded by love and
support and guidance. They fucking hate that.
So you know, it does end up being the people that you were
going through the shit with. Like the people that you were in
the mud with almost don't want to see you squeaky clean on the
other side of it if they're still in the mud.
And I'm not saying that everyone that you know that's not doing
as good as you wants bad for you.
But there are a lot of energies that will be subconsciously
projected on to you, whether they speak fear into your plans.
You know, they they talk shit about your dreams or they make
you feel weird for doing something new or something out
of the realm or wearing something you've never wore
before. I have so many people that will
see me out and they're like, I wish I could wear that.
You can, you know, like, I get tired of people looking at me as
the staple of who they want to be, but they have no desire to
go do that. And then these people that I've
known are, like, mad at me for overcoming addiction and in
codependency and people pleasing and all these things.
It's like the more you crank up your own energy, the quieter
everyone else's is. Like, I don't even hear the
noise anymore. Like, I know you all are
talking, but I don't hear the noise.
And that's just that, you know, like, I'm not taking it
personal. I'm taking it as your
projections. That's how you feel about
yourself. You're not trustworthy, You're
not capable, You're not in your power.
You can't project it on to someone who knows their worst,
someone who knows their shit. And that's why dating is
incredibly difficult for me because guys don't like that I'm
smarter than them or that I do better than them.
And and and I don't mean that in like, but it must be the guys
that I'm attracted to like aren't very smart because if
they knew what was smart for them, they would get in the boat
and we're going. I've got lots of opinions on the
guys that are attracted to and in your inbox, but that's here
nor there. Honestly though, like you would
think that a lot of people would see it from the perspective
like, I want to learn from this person or I want to grow, but
instead it's like, no, you're on a higher level than me and that
makes me upset. Back on what you had been
saying, the analogy that you would used I recently about the
tea. I recently saw something that
said I stopped venting to people when I realized that vents go
into different rooms. And I was like, that's so true.
And that's something I feel like too.
That's something that has changed with me so fucking much,
even before the podcast. But like that I just sit back
and reflect on is like. I no longer am going to sit
there and just complain about shit going on just to talk about
it and vent about it. And I have this thing where I'm
not going to speak about it unless it's something that I'm
going to put work into change. Because I'm not going to put
into, you know, the atmosphere and universe about something and
make that a focal point of something that I want to discuss
and then not make any changes and also.
People I I find this to be just like so fucking grimy.
And since we have talked recently about like you wanting
to leave Facebook or whatever, hop off Facebook for a minute.
People going on and shit talking their spouses.
Drives me up the fucking wall. I don't care if it's your
boyfriend. I don't care if it's your
fiance. I don't care if it's your
fucking husband going on and being like we're going to be
leaving each other because so and so can't.
You know they did this and that or blah, blah, blah.
And I found this out and found that out.
I just am. Like, where's your loyalty in
any fucking way? Because you've been over here
sharing body, mind, soul and spirit with somebody, and then
they do something you don't like, even if it's, you know,
they lied or did whatever. Just to I just think it's so
shitty to put it online and then most of you just fucking go back
to them anyways. That's what I don't get is like
whenever I reach a point where I'm going to air something out,
like I'm done. Like I'm all the way done.
Like we talked about it behind the scenes.
I've tried to work through it, we've worked through it.
Whatever we did, we didn't do. But it's almost embarrassing.
Like, you have no boundaries. You have no self worth, no
loyalty, and just no, like true desire to grow through the
situation. You want to point the blame, you
want to be a victim, you want to villainize someone.
I don't like it. I personally don't want to date
anyone that I have to worry about what goes on in their
inbox, like. And I also don't want to date
someone that no one flirts or hits on them either, right?
Like Jelly Roll said that before like you don't get a show pony
and put it in a cage and and then Bunny said like if my
husband didn't have female fans, I would feel weird.
I would be like, honey, we need to do something.
Sex appeal needs to be up, you know.
She said something like that and it just really like.
I base a lot of how I feel on like watching other people live
the way I would like to live and like I like that mutual
understanding and that mutual support.
Like I don't want to date someone that's not desirable.
I don't want to date someone that like you know doesn't get
the occasional like whatever you know like you don't.
You as a partner, should feel good that your partner is
shining or being seen or being loved by their fans or their
friends or whoever. Like, I can't stand someone who
wants to compete with, like, their partner's mom or like,
their partner's best friend or. You know what I mean?
Like, And I also don't want to date someone who's, like,
obsessed with everyone in their opinion, you know?
I want someone who's in their own power, who has people that
they trust, but not people that they're, like, letting dictate
their life, either. What's funny?
I just laugh at you over here. Like I just imagine what it's
like for you to fill out like dating things online and it's
like, are you interested in this or interested in that notes And
she's like, yes, I do want you to be 6-4, but I only want you
to be 6-4 if you have a long torso but you don't have long
legs and it just super customized and you're like, yes,
I want you to be a family person, but also I don't want
you to have an unhealthy relationship with your mother
and rely on her and have her. In your laundry.
Like, I could just see you having like fucking
subcategories for everything. I don't even date online
anymore. Like you're either going to
shoot your shot to my face or I'm not hearing you.
I don't want to hear you in my inbox.
I don't want to hear you chirp into the fucking choir.
I don't care. Like I'm not attracted to a guy
that when I go to your following, it looks like the
Playboy Mansion. Like kick rocks, bro.
Like if I scroll and there's more girls than and I'm talking
like the bikini, like the Viking Barbies of the world who are
sexiest fucking like turn up. But if you follow 900 people and
899 of them. Got their titties out.
I can't with you. I don't even want to with you.
And I'm real big on. Like, I used to let people
watch, like, just kind of watch from afar, but now it has
blocked you. If I see you in my views 24/7.
But you don't like anything. You don't support me.
You're just watching. I'm blocking you.
I don't even care. I don't care about the follower.
I don't care about nothing. Like I used to be.
Like, Oh no, I don't want to lose the follower.
No, I'm blocking you. I blocked so many people this
week that are just getting on my nerves.
Like they don't support me and I don't.
I just don't care. I just have a personal PSA too
that it would I would really appreciate if people didn't go
inside of your inbox if they're not actually going to meet up
with you and like 1. At least meet up with you like
bare minimum. Like don't tell her you want to
take her out and then not take her out because then I'm just
fucking annoyed with you Because then I just wish I was in
Kentucky to go and fucking take you out so that like you could
have a nice time and I touch your butt and everything.
And then two if you do like. Here's the other side of that is
like, once you do get like met up with and taken out, why is it
fucking weird? Why does it have to be weird?
Why does it have to be like, yeah, and then we like stared
into each other's soul for two minutes and whatever, I don't
like it. I It's that like when people are
not in tune with their own spirit, they don't like that I
can like, read their energy that I know when they're lying.
Like, I just think that I am a harder catch because like, I'm
not trying to be caught by a fucking hook line sinker thing,
you know? Like I want work.
For me, because you're so open and like.
Honest about all of these things ahead of time.
It's very clear that you do spiritual work that like anybody
who is paying you attention knows these things about you.
So it's like a waste of fucking time and space and your energy
when it's like people know this already and I don't.
I've told you before, I really think that people expect you to
be somebody different when they meet you.
And I think that they think that, like, the spiritual
whatever is a persona and then you show up in person and you're
just as fucking cute. And you're also, like, let me
read your brain. I don't know.
And honestly, I don't even want to waste energy trying to figure
out those types of people because, like, I want to reject
people who do not know what they want.
Like, don't come near me if you don't know what you want.
So, you know, it's cool if they, like, talk a little shit, like
tweet, like a little bird, and then when it comes time to fly,
they're like, I'm going to stay in the nest because I already
knew that you couldn't handle me.
So thank you for showing me before I even got involved, like
early on. So that's fine.
I mean, I know that there's a perfect person out there for me.
I'm not really worried about like these people that I know
because I've always been convinced that my soul mates not
going to be someone I know, that I grew up with, that I've been
around, that I'm exposed to, like my soulmates not going to
be 25 minutes down the road. They're just not.
I don't see it. I can't see it.
And I'm a visionary. And if they were there, baby, I
would be bringing them in. They're not 20 kids away.
So anybody, if you live in a 25 minute radius of me, you ain't
my one, you ain't my person. You're not my Boo.
I also want to say that we were getting a lot of feedback just
about like the transparency and how people were catching up on
episodes and they really liked how we don't just like,
sugarcoat everything that we did have a lot of like really raw
and vulnerable moments where there was anger and there was,
you know, like shocking moments where you think someone is your
friend or you think someone's supporting you.
But I know for a fact that it's really difficult to support
someone after so long if you're not doing the work because
you're not reaching your potential.
So that resentment and that anger that they feel towards us
is really just them feeling that towards themselves.
And I think that, you know, doing this, like clarity work in
a protection work, it's necessary for every person
because someone, somewhere, some sole contract that you have is
trying to blur your vision. Some of it's your own, like
parents or your partner or your, you know, whoever.
And I think that it's really valid to just be aware of that.
It doesn't mean that you like instantly go check all these
people and and say you know you're blocking my blessings,
but you're blocking your blessings by not acknowledging
what your intuition is telling you.
Like you know when someone's really not supporting you.
You know when someone makes it feel like a chore to be around
you or to invite you or to include you.
And that's the type of energy that I just can't tolerate.
So I'm really glad that spirit has not allowed any like half
and half out relationships, like emotionally, because I don't
need that in my energy. Like, I have proven to myself
that, like, sexual companionship is not necessary for my
happiness. Like, my happiness comes from me
and everything else is an accessory to that.
It's kind of like, you know, the Christmas tree is the tree.
And then you got to put the lights and the ornaments and all
the things on it. Like if you are the tree and you
are rooted, people will come and go.
I get new to core all the time, you know, like we let things go
all the time in our real world. So you have to be willing to let
people be ornaments for a season and then toss them in the
goodwill box and get rid of them.
Damn, that was deep. That was that was recycling.
Repurposing people for other people, reusing.
Go elsewhere because you're not going to be welcomed here or
housed here. I love every single piece of
that. I also something that I'm
noticing too. Is this like not vibing with one
of us? Going to the other one and just
kind of sticking around and like the hanging out kind of
mentality. And I was thinking about this
earlier today because I was like okay, cool.
So like maybe somebody just finds like more healing with
Paige. And so they're like, you know
what? Like I don't buy with Gemini
necessarily, but like, I really find healing with Paige.
And my thing is. Most likely, if you don't like
me, they're probably not going to end up liking you, and vice
versa, if you don't like Paige, you're probably not going to
like me because I feel like we how would I put this?
We grow a lot of the ways that we're growing.
I feel like we learn different things from each other and like
what my weaknesses are are your strengths and a little bit vice.
Versa. And I think that while we're on
this healing journey and like growing and evolving, like
there's bound to be growing in a way that like those people
aren't going to vibe with either.
So I kind of feel it being something that is probably going
to be something that we deal with for forever at while we're
growing and what not is. Oh, I feel intimidated by this.
So I'm going to come over here because I feel like this is a
more like, inviting, you know, calm energy.
Oh shit. Paige doesn't just let people
walk all over her either. I thought she was like the Super
nice one and someone sent me a message after last season and
was like. No shade to either one of you,
but Rampage intimidates me far more than like, coming to you.
And I was like, yeah, she does. You know, honestly, I think that
that's where, like we have brought that dark and light
balance with one another is like you used to be really rigid and
like really like stubborn when someone would upset you.
And now you're like more like you said, you're looking at it
from a bird's eye perception rather than a victim mentality
like on the ground. And like now I think I'm having
a way easier, even more like fun time, just straight cutting the
cord cut, ripping out everything.
Like, I will rip your hair out. Like, fuck you.
Like I have the claws and the teeth out right now and it's not
even like I feel that way regularly.
But now I almost have like little to 0 sympathy for people
who are trying to portray me. People who go and tell the
peanut gallery you need to watch out for Paige.
You know Paige, she's so crazy. She wrecked someone's car.
She laughed about it. Like, what planet are you on?
Like, where in what reality did that happen?
Where? You know what I mean?
Like, where was that? Because not, it wasn't on Earth,
baby. I don't know where you're at.
But like when I hear stories like that, and that's a true
story, someone actually said that.
And I instantly, rather than feeling like I need to go
justify myself to that person or explain or even get their side
of the story. Like, why would you say that
about me? I just block.
I just literally block them. And I don't care if we were best
friends. I don't care if you are my
mother. My own mother once asked me if I
sent a hex to her because I did a return to send her with her
name on it. Because you're not going to send
me shit. You're not sending me
negativity. And my mom, she ain't going fuck
with me because me and her have now a mutual understanding.
I will not tolerate disrespect. I don't care who it's coming
from. And I remember whenever that
happened, my grandma was like, yeah, your mom wants to know
because I wasn't talking to her. She's like, she wants to know,
like, did you send this to her? Because like, there was just
like a long laundry list of things that happen in a really
short amount of time. And it's just like, clearly you
were sending me negativity. You were sending me jealousy,
you were sending me envy coming from my own mother.
I don't think that an outside energy from TikTok or Instagram
or wherever you all people come from, that direct negativity
towards me, I don't think it's going to really phase me like
you think it will. So when it backfires, I'm the
bad person and I'm the villain and I wreck people's cars and
just don't give a fuck. Great, perfect.
I love that illusion you're living in.
It's it feels so warm there. Stay there.
Like stay there. close your eyes.
I'm going to go, you know what I mean?
It's like kind of like after you bring someone home from the bar
and they act like they like you the whole time until the deeds
done and they're like, I'm going to go.
Gots to leave, Gots to go, Yeah, I'm like.
I have so many comments that I want to say, but it would also
clarify that me and Gemini do not send hexes to anyone because
we don't even like y'all that much.
We love the people who support us, but we're not sending
negativity, the people who don't support us.
And I know that's been like this rumor, this thing, but in
spirituality, whatever you send out, good or bad, you get back
times 10. And if someone amplifies that
with spell work, it's going to feel like a hex or a a dark
cloud. But you brought that into your
world, like by sending it out into the world, it's just
rippled back to you. And I feel like there just needs
to be some, like, clarity because I know Jim and I has a
cult and like, she's a cult leader, but I personally am not.
Okay. First of all, I just think it's
hilarious to be called the cult leader.
It just fucking makes me giggle. Second of all, to have people
who have literally taken classes with me.
They're six weeks long apiece, so at least. 18 weeks with me
and Ryan doing these classes that people would know my ethics
when it comes to spell work and everything else, because we
discuss it and still ever think something.
It just goes into the no matter what you do or what you say and
how much consistency you have and what you're doing, if
somebody doesn't like you, they and they're triggered by
something or for whatever fucking reason, they don't like
you, they're not going to like you.
And I think that'll. A lot of people put it on their
shoulders of but I want people to like me, but they just don't
like me because they don't understand And I used to do a
lot of explaining. You just must not know where I'm
coming from and so you don't like me because you don't
understand. No, you don't like me because
for whatever fucking reason I really hit your soul.
But I'm not going to change anything that I'm doing.
So you don't align with it. You don't vibe with it.
Great block. Move on.
Don't look at my shit. Don't come here.
Don't have any kind of energy exchange.
And I will say that I am really loving working with this like
Lilith and Hecatel, like Dark Goddess Energy.
And I think that it's ignorance from people because strong like
feminine energy for some reason to people comes across as you're
being aggressive or you're going to do something to be spiteful
or painful to somebody and we just don't conduct ourselves
that way. So like while you know, maybe,
and I know too that because I I think that a part of it too is
that I play into the whole you think that witches are like
devil worshipper things or you think that I'm going to send it
to you. So like you're you know,
manifesting that for yourself thing.
It gets mistaken as I would actually use my energy to do
something negative. Whereas I'm like I'm just going
to match what you're. I'm just going to send
everything back to you right now.
I'm just going to mirror it and reverberate that shit back to
you and neither one of us do hexes, but we have some real
fucking strong protection. And I guarantee you that if we
have a fucking problem with something, both of us are like,
we're going to do spell work for that and our spell work fucking
hits. Doing our spell work on Patreon
and having our chat with the people who are getting our spell
work monthly and shit together. Like those chats are fucking
crazy. Our fire is dancing.
Our spell work is working. Like if you've ever said that
you didn't get, you didn't feel the energy in a full moon
ceremony. You didn't even feel when we
were doing the meditation. You couldn't even feel the spell
work. Paige of spell work isn't doing
anything. Clearly you were not present,
reciprocated. That energy.
Being in a space where spirit wanted you to feel any of that
energy or vibration because you wouldn't know what the fuck to
do with it because everybody else feels it.
What's weird about it is like because our protection is so
strong that when people are trying to stay on the inside,
but really they have an outsider mentality.
Like, no wonder you're not getting anything from it because
spirit wants you to leave. Spirits ready for you to pack
your shit and bounce. So yeah, you're not getting what
you're supposed to be getting because your intentions are not
pure. And I do want to just add Gemini
and Cinnano hexes because she's just doing abundant spells for
herself. She don't give a fuck about
y'all, OK? It's just abundant spells over
here and Rd. openers and the rest of the shit can just kick
rocks because she ain't worried about you.
The only thing she's doing is still work.
For herself, she's not wasting any energy.
She's going to do an abundance spell.
She has a great handle for that. I listen.
I have learned how to infuse my words with things that benefit
myself, my family and our collective energy.
I have my words infused so that when you speak on our business,
when you speak on our podcast, all you do is amplify our
listens and amplify our connection.
I have our protection set up so that if you speak lies on myself
or page, your tongue starts hurting and starts going numb.
I have all. I have all kinds of fucking shit
you. Know if you went to the doctor
because your tongue is hurting, you probably should stop talking
especially. About us.
And we won't tell you all the secrets, but the secret is you
touch the fire, you're going to get burned.
And when the fire is burning from within someone, you cannot
extinguish it, you cannot let it out, you cannot snuff it, you
cannot mute it, you can't do anything.
So you should just focus on your own self.
Because every time you send negativity to someone on the
Internet, someone you don't know.
Someone you do know. You are draining your own
creative energy. You're draining your own
spiritual energy. You're draining everything.
And it's not about opening the doors if you're not ready to go
through those doors. You need to work on closing
chapters, cutting cords, releasing things.
Because whatever feelings that you're holding onto are going to
show up in everything. And the only thing that I can
say is like. Peace be with you,
motherfuckers, because I am a whole new page and you're going
to have to get reacquainted with that version of me, because this
version of me doesn't give two fucks about your opinion.
You're anything like if it's negativity, keep it, Save it.
Don't even come my way with it. Also, this is by the way, this
is how you have been the whole time.
You're just now, you're on a platform where you have a
podcast and you're voicing things.
And I think that's a big thing too, is that I think that people
just didn't truly have an opportunity to know you, because
this version of you is exactly who you are in person.
When we met in person back in, what was it April?
March in March went, Oh my God, it was March.
When we met in person you were the same way and you also were
the person who was like you know what I'm going to go and I'm
going to have these like direct conversations with home girl
instead of you doing it like you put yourself in the position to
be the more like take charge person inside of things.
And I don't understand how if people have met you in person
they don't understand that that's your personality like
it's not a confusing thing you're you don't shy away from
saying your opinion. If something's bothering you,
you're going to say that it's bothering you.
If you have an expectation, you voice that expectation so a
little bit. I could see it a little bit for
you being like, I'm just going to block you and not talk to you
then because like, clearly you don't even know who I am as a
person. If you think I've changed, but
I've been the same version of myself, I mean, you've evolved,
but you know what I mean? Like you, those things are core
about who you are as a person. I've always been rampage like
that is a nickname someone gave to me.
Like I have always had an attitude or like a spunky energy
about me. I just was not directing it
towards positive growth. Elevation, mindset.
I was perpetuating the same cycles that I have been in that
I was exposed to, that I was introduced to at a young age.
And I know what it's like to be upset with people who had shit
going or had their life together or had supportive family or
whatever. I remember having those feelings
and things like that. But.
I just don't care about what other people are doing because
it does not change my path. When you get in tune with your
own soul blueprint, you stop looking around at everyone
else's math because it won't make sense.
It's in a different language than yours.
You cannot use what other people have done to get where you're
supposed to be if it if it's a part of your calling.
And I think that a lot of people just need to answer the call and
be quiet enough to hear the call because a lot of you all, it's
ringing and ringing and ringing and.
You're not getting the message. You're like letting it go to
voicemail every time rather than being like oh wait.
So if I just woke up an hour earlier every day and did this,
or if I just dedicated 2 hours every weekend to this, or if I
just took a class on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, I could
get this like that's the problem is.
Society has got you all so distracted and so drained and
just focusing on all these things that will not make you
happy. And I understand that being in
survival mode and not being in survival mode are two different
things. But like, Gemini and myself have
both been in survival mode. So don't tell me shit about
survival mode if you haven't triumphed through it, because
I'm not taking your advice like you're exactly what I don't want
to be. But I've been there.
But that doesn't mean that I'm going to sit here and, like,
hold your hand. Like we said earlier, like, have
all this sympathy for you. Because in my opinion, a lot of
people bring on the drama. They bring on the chaos.
They perpetuate the cycle because they don't know any
better and they won't even try because they're jealous, they're
angry, they're mad, they're envious of people that want to
teach or lead or step up and rise above the bullshit.
And I think that's why I like. You have to really rise to the
occasion when connecting with a spiritual person who is in tune
with their own energy. This is girl, guy, old, young,
whatever. Like you have to rise to the
occasion if your energy is not there.
And that doesn't mean that you're not invited.
It just means that you're going to have to do more work than
everyone else who has a VIP seat like they've.
Put themself in that position. No one else gave them that VIP
seat. Like they became the main
character of their story and started writing their story
rather than looking at everybody else's stories.
Like, well, be a lot cooler. If my grandpa wrote my story and
we had all this money like that person, that's the one thing
that, like I have to remind people is like, your ancestors
taught you the life that you live.
And if you don't like it, you need to be the ancestor that
changes it. And that goes with the breaking
generational traumas, which only happens by not saying I'm broke
and addicted to meth because my mom was broke and addicted to
meth and I got touched as a child.
And so I don't know what to fucking do with it.
And I used to have to put ketchup on my noodles because we
could never afford spaghetti sauce.
Like, OK, cool, well, now you're a whole grown ass fucking adult
who can go out, get a job with the crack pipe down and figure
out your fucking world. So like, let's maybe focus on
that. I also am really becoming aware
of people who have a an urgency about spiritual messages that
they're being given or spiritual work being done.
Well, how long is it after you do your spell work, how long is
that going to take for it to, you know, work for me or you
know, OK, well, you said this in the reading.
What can you tell me exactly when that's going to unfold?
And you know, when am I going to be successful with that and
whatever? And if you are, if you're
looking for answers for things and a definitive timeline,
you're not actually doing anything because your soul feels
called to do that and you feel that you should do it.
You're doing it because you took some small message out of the
whole grand scheme and said this is my path and this is what I'm
supposed to be doing. How long is that going to take?
And since we were talking about spell work and we've talked
about spirit messages, I want to say you can do spell working for
something. Let's let's bring an abundance
thing. You can bring a spell working
for some fucking abundance thing inside of your life.
All that does is open the road and and let spirit know that I'm
willing to put in the energy for this and I'm doing something
physical to ignite this energy for myself and that you're
willing to put the energy and effort into that.
When I when we do a spell working for you and we're like
we want you to have self love, we're setting the precedent of
you have come to us saying I don't know how to do this for
myself but I need energy to go moving in in a direction for
myself. And then it's up to you to keep
your keep moving and keep your energy going towards that thing.
If I light a money candle for you and you're like, no, I'm not
going to work any extra hours, no, I'm not going to go and get
a new job. No, I'm not going to go suck
that Dick on the corner for the 5 bucks and I'm just kidding.
Then, like you know, you don't get, you don't get that money.
Well, and to add to that, like a self love spell, the thing about
it is like. We could do a self love spell
for you, but if you don't get up and go to the gym and do the
things that you need to do to love yourself, to treat yourself
well, to talk to yourself, well, you're you're.
Surrounding yourself with people who bring you down, who call you
names. You're not going to feel the
self love like it's more of like she mentioned, it's a catalyst.
It's igniting something in that direction and saying you know
what spirit, this is my intention, my intention and I'm
going to put attention towards it.
That's why intention and attention sound like the same
word when I'm talking, because. Whatever we're giving attention
to is the intention. So if you're being mean to
yourself, you're talking shit to yourself.
You're not being a quality version of yourself.
It's going to be really hard for you to love what you're doing
and to love life. And a lot of people want someone
else to love them in place of them loving themselves.
So I used to think it was the corniest thing when nobody can
love you till you love yourself and I'm like well I fucking hate
myself so fuck off because people love me.
But it really is true because if you don't figure out what things
you really love about yourself and what things are non
negotiables, it's like that's where you get into situations
where people can just kind of treat you any old way.
And it's not that somebody won't love you, but it's that you're
not going to find somebody who's going to love you the way that
you are needing to be loved. Because you don't recognize
within yourself what parts of you you're not going to change
and what parts of you were going to be a consistent thing.
That somebody isn't going to be able to wish and dream away from
you and an insult away from you. I pulled.
I really wanted to pull human design card just while we were
talking, because we're over here talking about like the duality
of like having to put your energy into something and having
to like see the shadow and things.
So I pulled card 49 for Firelight Cocoon.
I've been seeing all of these. So the picture is it reminds me
of Vegas a little bit. It's like a it's a bar with a
pool table and then that's like a fluorescent light lit up in
the background. Card 49 is the sign of Aquarius.
Of course this would be the gift is self-awareness and the shadow
is separation, so the gift of selfawareness.
As you enter the realm of the Gift, you gain access to a new
elevated sense of awareness that allows you to see the part you
play in your ever unfolding story.
When you take ownership of your emotional state and its
potential for volatility, you're able to take a step back and
recalibrate to another possible outcome.
The energetic nebula of war and global strife clouds.
Both are individual and collective visions, But here in
the gift Frequency, you unleash a revolution that challenges our
very notion of separation and division.
Within this physical reality. You usher in a new way of being
that celebrates our shared humanity and journey of
continued evolution. And then the shadow is
separation. The shadow, synonymous with the
fear of rejection, carves out of place within your most intimate
relationships, which is literally what we've been
talking about. This lower frequency state is
characterized by reaction, emotion, and distance, both
physical and metaphorical. On the repressive end, you may
attempt to erase any semblance of emotion, leaving you cold or
numb. In this case, your relationships
will be void of pleasure and depth.
On the reactive side, the fear overwhelms you, causing you to
lash out at your partners, a preemptive measure to avoid
rejection. In either case, true intimacy
remains unseen. Your themes are accountability,
emotional world, and perception. And I think that's where we're
going to leave you in Candy Land tonight as that just brought it
all together. Well, both next week guys, we're
going to be back weekly and I'm so happy to be here and we're
going to. I feel like the theme this
season is like, if you thought you knew us before, like you're
going to really get to know us this season.
Yeah, I'm ready to reintroduce myself because I've just really
came to terms with who I am, what the variables are that like
really matter to me, What's non negotiable?
How you're going to act or you're removed and?
That's not what people who take advantage of you or manipulate
you want to hear. So I'm really grateful to those
that see the vision, that understand that we're not saying
any of this to be mean or disturb, you know, anger.
Like I have zero anger towards people who hurt me.
Because honestly, you're only hurting yourself because if
someone who was really writing for you is now done with your
ass. That's you that's going to be on
you because you're not going to have that guiding light or that
person you know. It's one thing to want to be
like someone because they inspire you, but it's another
thing to copy someone and try to emulate them and try to become
them. It won't work.
It will always backfire. And I think that if anything
that we can say is just be yourself.
The people who are supposed to be there and enjoy that will
enjoy it. If you're having a good time,
don't let the world tell you when you can start having a good
time or being happy. Like, be happy now.
And you'll figure it out. But if you're angry and you're
mad, you won't figure it out. You'll attract more things to be
angry and mad about. But like choosing happiness,
every day is the only thing on the agenda.
Like, I'm going to choose my own happiness over being right,
being seen, being heard, being liked.
You know if you say something and one person gets the message,
you're doing your light work, and that's what you should do.
You should just focus on. What message are you sending to
the world, and how is that message being projected back to
you? And you'll find that a lot of
those messages, you may not like them, so you need to quit
projecting them outward. Or you may not even realize that
you're doing it. Maybe someone projects those on
to you and you embody them and instead of that.
Reflect that shit back to them. Let them absorb it.
Let them keep it. And know that it's not personal
how people treat you. It's just spiritual.
And if they're not in tune with that energy, they're only going
to see negative and anger and resentment.
Yep and Amen in Jesus name. Amen, bye.
Bye.