Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini.
Welcome back to fucking Candyland bitches.
We are so happy to be here with you all.
And the energy, the momentum, it is just getting hotter and
hotter. And I don't know if it's Leo
season or the double full moon this month, but I feel on one I
literally laughed as soon as you talked because that was so
aggressive. Welcome back to fucking
Candyland. I wanted to introduce us like a
WWE intro and page coming down. No, I feel like we haven't
recorded in a second, but we literally have just talked.
I mean, honestly, the cool thing about the way that we have it
set up now is like, we're not rushing to record, but we're
just in flow. Like when you have guests or you
make a commitment to interview a guest, you're like on that
schedule. And the thing that's really cool
about our. Brand is like, we don't pressure
each other. I feel like you get more upset
when you can't do something and I'm like, it's cool, it's fine.
And you're like, no, I'll be home in 49 minutes, 22 seconds,
I'll be there. We can record in 52 minutes.
And I'm like, no, we'll just reschedule.
And you're like, what do you mean?
I'm like, it's okay, Yeah. But I mean, I guess part of that
is like, trauma responding, right?
Like, I'm used to feeling like I'm inconveniencing people if
like, life gets in the mix. And that's something that, like,
I'm really working on. But a lot of people don't have
the patient dynamic that we have with each other.
Like, I can't imagine being upset with you for something
coming up and not being able to record.
But I instantly I'm like, what if this is the thing that, like,
sets Page off and she's like, I'm fucking never recording with
you again? Honestly, I feel like so many
people create content because they're pressured by like an
algorithm or like they're pressured by something.
And I had taken a step back from TikTok because every single time
I start making tik toks, the scammers just start going wild.
And in like the last two weeks I've had some tik toks kind of
do really well. And like for me, there used to
not be as much of content coming out on TikTok daily.
So now that it's like an overabundance.
The views are just not what they used to be.
The likes are not what they used to be because where there used
to be, you know, a million users, now there's a billion
users. And I just feel like taking it
in waves. And every single time it feels
like it takes more of my mental health afterwards because like I
made some videos and then the scammers just start going off
and my favorite thing is like when I'm working directly with a
client, like through my website. And then they write me and
they're like, did you message me on TikTok?
And I'm like, no, no. But Speaking of scammers and
TikTok and social media and stuff, I feel like I'm seeing so
many, like, spiritual readers inside of my my comments.
And I'm not talking about like, the ones that are like really in
fucking India, but they're pretending to be you.
I mean, like actual people like selling their spiritual readings
and services inside of comments and like the ethics behind it is
just starting to like genuinely piss me off.
Like I blocked somebody this morning because they commented
on one of my videos and we're like there's this woman that's
in all of your, you know, videos behind you and you know she's
mentioning so and so's name and then it just cuts off and like
that you know that that's the comment and this person's done
it a couple times. So I block.
But to me it's very scammy because one, I haven't given you
permission to be inside of my energy or give a reading at all.
Two, you're inside of the comments leaving 1/2 assed
message. That's not even a message when
you could just send me a direct message and say is it okay to
like give a reading, like I have something to say.
And then there'll also be comments.
Like, I'm not sure if you're a medium, but there's this energy
or whatever, and it's like, are you inside of comments?
Like dropping little things because you want me to come book
with you because you want people in my comment section to come in
book readings with you and be like, wow, what a spiritualist.
And I'm fucking blocking because that go to me that like, goes
against everything that, like, I stand for as someone doing
spiritual services. I would never just approach
somebody that I don't know and be like Maria has a message for
you. You know, that happened very
recently to me, like with all those people in my community who
never even knew who their spirit gods were, never did a message,
never did anything to try to take the information that I
talked to them and then turn around and solicit people from
within my community. And it was so crazy because most
of the messages that they would spread to these people were so
fear based. Like, no, you need my help to
remove this. No I need to remove it.
For you, like, I'm just going to say that on the spiritual
journey, it is unique to everyone, but there is no type
of hex or curse or any of that shit on you unless you're
agreeing and consenting to it. Like you can't be cursed if you
don't consent to the bullshit. Most people throughout history,
if your lineage had some type of curse, it's because they stole
something. They hurt someone, they did
someone wrong and that's the energetic like.
Reciprocation. There, you know what I mean?
And so it irks me to my core when people will reach out for
spell work. And their first thing was,
another reader told me I had a curse on me.
That's because they want you to need them.
That's because. Yeah.
And people too, that are like interested in getting readings
and stuff from people we've said before, like, you know, with
you, you approached funny and we're like, is it okay if I,
like, give you a reading. You reached out to her
personally were like, I feel inclined to do this.
There's a yes and there's an energy exchange there.
If you were to just go into her comments and be like, Bobo the
clown wants me to let you know that the circus is opening up
tomorrow and you're the opening act.
Come on through, Mama. Like that would be fucking odd.
And you know, I think it's so tacky when people like, do
spiritual work for someone who has influence or a following and
then they make a whole montage of it.
Like the only stuff I've ever posted has been with permission
or actually created by Bunny's team.
You know what I mean? Like I have never in my life
screen recorded a private conversation or screenshotted
our text messages or shared intimate relationship.
Energy with the world. It's like this person trusts you
in an intimate way to tap into their energy if they want to
share it. Like the sitter, the client
wants to share that with the world.
Let's go. But I would never post like a
whole spell work video and be like this was for this client.
They're cutting the cord from this person and this, you know,
like that's so tacky and it's like back to the girl that does
the bullshit with Aaron Carter. I promise you, you're not
talking to Aaron Carter. He don't even fuck with you.
He didn't even know you when he was alive, you know?
And that's why I like whenever that night I told you I was
really upset over Aaron and you said I was thinking about him
last night when I was taking a bath or whatever.
I was just meditating, thinking about his spirit.
And I'm like girl because he just came to me because he's
sick of people using his name for clout and then slandering
his name when he was alive. It's like the same people that
wouldn't have reached out and actually helped him when he was
here are the people that want to ride his wave after he's gone.
And I think that is the most tacky.
And if anybody is inviting in a curse, it's those people because
that is an energy exchange that is done for the wrong reasons.
Well, and you know, we had like we talk about him and stuff
because we had a personal tie there.
Like we had an agreement that he was going to be coming on the
podcast and we and he was gung ho for coming on.
And we were like, let's push it back because he's going through
things we don't want to be talking about like messiness and
and you know, struggles that he's having.
We want to talk about like his inspirations and like his
spiritual side of things. And we want him to like, tap in
more, like be ready before like healing.
Like maybe we want to do a reading for him on here and we
want him to be able to be ready to like receive those messages.
So when he was alive, we had the opportunity to have him on.
And if it was a cloud thing and it was a popularity thing, we'd
already had that interview done. We'd have been like, hey guys,
this is released and we feel something in our spirit because
you know, there's the, well, God damn, we never had the
opportunity. Like we never got to actually
talk to him into this interview. And like that would have been
such a dope thing. And on the other end of it we're
like, but we wouldn't have done anything different because we
wanted this version. We didn't want to you know?
And so for then somebody who didn't know him, didn't have any
connection to then be using his death as a fucking clout thing.
And by the way, someone stitched that person's videos recently
and she's still doing it. She is still Aaron Carter all up
in the family I'm talking to so and so I'm doing this and this
and I think it's fucking gross. And another thing that I want to
add is Aaron also was trying to figure out how we could all come
together in person and record in person.
And I know that was way before we even met.
And you were like, I don't know how it can make that happen.
But I feel like another reason that it was being pushed off is
because we were actually going to be able to go in person and
he was going to invite us into his home to record the podcast.
And I think that that's a lot of stuff like we don't talk about
and I would never like. Publicly air out any of the
conversations, but when I look at my contacts, the very first
person that pops up, it says Aaron Carter's manager.
And I'm just like my inner child, thrives in the
environment to know that we were trying to give him an Ave. to
speak on his artistry, on his soul, on his actual like path as
an artist rather than the shit show that was created for him.
Because being a child star. In being in a spotlight and
being in your brother's shadow, like that's a difficult life.
To be thrown in to a movie or into something at five and six
years old like that is really terrible and honestly, the whole
entire, like industry. Grooms.
Children like There's no reason that there should be a pageant
industry for children. There are no reason that these
little girls should be wearing these little baby skirts and
shirts at these gymnastic competitions and stuff.
You can't tumble in a shirt. You have to wear a brawl in
front of all these old men and whoever.
Like the way everything is set up is to profit off people who
can't make their own decisions. And I think Aaron was just
backed into a corner, and he never really got to get a hold
on his own mental health because he was always trying to fight
off the vultures, such as this lady who never had a
conversation with him, period. Well, and you know, we're
talking about the, like, little girls and pageants and things,
right, being put on display. But there's so many male
entertainers coming out talking about, you know, how how the
sexual assault on women in the industry has been talked about.
But the assault that they went through and the grooming that so
many went through, Justin Bieber recently came out and was
talked. I don't know if it was recent,
but I recently saw it talking about the amount of grooming
that was done to him while he was inside of Hollywood and you
know, stuff that he won't talk about.
And now you know, you see him physically ill and having
anxiety and having panic attacks and things like that.
And and that was all throughout a documentary that he had.
And the what we see on the outside, and we've talked about
this before, what people see on the outside versus what happens
behind the scenes are two totally just different things.
And people don't pay attention until, you know, you have a
Britney Spears thing or you have a, you know, whatever.
And then all of a sudden people care because, well, that's so
tragic or they died. You know, honestly, I think we
could compare what's going on with Dosha Cat as like what
happened to Britney Spears. Like you're at this peak of your
career, like in this highlight, and then you think, oh, this is
going to make it better, this is going to make it whatever.
And then you start losing your mind because your true power is
in your authenticity and like your unique gifts.
But when you make deals with the devil, baby, like, you know,
shit happens and I feel like Britney.
She had been put on public display her whole life, and now
we're watching the spiral of like, the shit show and people
are still being very mean to her, You know, just not
respecting her to the point where she's turned off her
comments. Which sucks, because I used to
love going to her comment section and just looking at
everything because honestly, I'm not even convinced that that's
really Britney Spears at all. Like I'm just like her face
structure has changed her teeth like.
You know what I mean? Like, I understand, like you get
braces and your teeth are straight.
Like, I just don't ever remember Britney Spears's mouth being the
way that it is, like now. And I just don't believe that
these celebrities have control over their soul or their real
energy, like they've agreed upon a contract, a curse.
Something that gave them what they thought they wanted, but
they've lost themselves in that. And I think Aaron totally just
rejected that. Like he was like, you know what,
I won't follow the poster child bullshit.
I will air it out. I will be problematic.
And it's the same thing with Kanye West.
When people are problematic within Hollywood, they silence
you or they kill you, just like Marilyn Monroe.
That's how I feel. I think Aaron was killed.
I think Aaron was killed also. And it's always the people who
are trying to have like authentic speech and also set
boundaries. Like we've seen it on the very
smallest scale as we've been growing our podcast.
Like we've seen people who have rocked with us and the and been
like, I'm here to watch your growth journey.
You can confide in me, I'm supporting you.
I'm rooting you on. I'm love bombing you.
I'm telling you in the middle of the night how much you mean to
me, how fucking grateful I am. And then I'm going to go behind
your back and do a BC&D and try to destroy your reputation.
And that's been on a really small scale to the point that
you and I have conversations behind the scene where we're
like, who's lurking That is over here.
Like anytime that we're getting love bombed, we're like, Oh my
God, like I'm getting love bombed right now.
Like what? What is about to come out of,
you know, whatever. And I can only imagine how that
is on, you know, like an Aaron Carter scale or whatnot, where
everybody knows you, everybody wants a piece of you, even
somebody who is coming across as being super authentic and
wanting to spend time with you. That may be because you're
paying for every meal when you go out.
That may be because when they come over and they hang out with
you, you've got so and so musician at your house or so and
so producer and they want to slip a little something in
there. Maybe it's because they have a
similar gift that you do and they want you to do some kind of
collaboration with them. Like, it's very All of those
people come out of the woodwork when they see you gaining some
kind of like, quote, UN quote success.
People's families even do it when they come from nothing and
they start getting jobs where they have money and they're able
to afford things. All of a sudden their family
thinks that like, oh, they're not giving me anything.
They're too good. They're too good to be giving me
money. No, I think I'm working my
fucking ass off and I am providing for myself, and you
have the opportunity to do the same thing.
Why would I fund you for your lack of motivation, inspiration
and creativity? And I'm not like a Morgan Wallen
fan, but I know his mom was doing that to him.
Like his mom was draining his bank account and like buying
properties and like putting. Yeah, it's unacceptable when
people work their asses off and then you just assume that
they're going to do XYZ. Like, I'm very much that person.
That spirit constantly tells me like.
You have good fortune coming your way.
You know what that means? The more you have, the more you
should share. So here recently I've been going
back to like, you know what, You participated a lot in Patreon
this month. Here's a free reading.
Or you have really supported me. I want to, you know, extend this
offer. Like yesterday a girl paid for
the class full price. Then like an hour later, she
joined Patreon. Well, she could have saved money
by doing that, if she would have done it.
Opposite, but I didn't have to say anything, but I decided,
hey, you paid full price and you joined the Patreon, you could
have actually got a pretty big discount.
So I want to give you a free like 30 minute reading just
because, like I just personally feel like energy exchange
matters and I wouldn't want someone who knows there's this
big discount available to not say anything to me because I
didn't read the fine print. And no, I'm not obligated to do
that, but I do know. Know that like if I go to the
store and I give them $100 bill and they hand me back $150.00,
I'm not going to be that person that just walks away.
So then later that cashier loses their job because their drawer
is short $72. You know what I mean?
And like, I have had things like that happen where people are
like, no, the universe is blessing me.
That's their mistake. You're not being blessed because
of other people's mistakes. Like that's a mistake and you
need to follow the golden rule. Like if you were in that
position and you're in that woman's position, like maybe she
just went through a miscarriage or maybe something really
traumatic just happened to her right before she got to work and
she's not thinking properly like someone else's.
Downfall is not your come up. And that's the problem in this
place is people see other people slipping and they want to
capitalize on that, like for a. While I was taking a mental
break from a lot of things. And that's when all the vultures
came on out and started trying to sink their calls into
everyone. And I am so happy that all of
this came to light when it did. Because I've learned so many
spiritual lessons that like, I don't ever want to be like you
all and that's the punishment. I don't want to be like you.
I don't want to associate with you, and I don't want to claim
you. In my life, in my community or
whatever. Like popular shit.
But stay so far away from me while you're doing it.
See, but those people, like you know, the person who went in and
invested in your classes and then went in and invested on
your Patreon and and what not. Those are the people who we turn
around and are like, let me give you this gift, let me give you
something for free or, you know, we noticed somebody contributing
something, even if it's somebody who's been on, you know, your
lowest. Here on Patreon, but they've
been commenting on things and they've been giving you love and
whatever. It's not about the monetary
exchange for you to be like here's a reading where you know,
here's a little like thank you package or whatever.
Those people are the ones who end up getting the appreciation
back and the discounted or free things as opposed to the people
who just come into the inbox and say I'm just having such a hard
time right now and I was just wondering if you can give me a
free reading. You know, I can you just pull a
card for me on this? It'll just be really quick and I
hope that I'm not bothering you and I whatever, blah blah blah,
you know, it's like you're more ought to get something
additional when you are not expecting it.
And that goes into, like, how our conversations about
abundance have always been like, if you're putting in the energy
and the work and, you know, lighting some candles here and
there and doing your abundance working, whatever, but you're
actually putting energy into things and into, oh, I'm going
to something I've learned from you.
I'm going to invest money into this thing that I feel drawn to
do because I'm going to get that money back.
I don't have to worry about it. And once I started moving from a
a thing there, oh, I see, you know somebody's go fund me.
I have an extra 10 bucks. I'll put it there.
Turn around a reading books. You know, I get 6 times that
amount because I wasn't so fucking stingy with what I had
to not share with others. That's one thing that I've
learned from the people I grew up with is like they see
investing in you or investing in XYZ as taking away from film.
And I see it as like it's like. You're building the foundation
and you're showing the universe that, you know what, maybe it's
not my turn, but I'm ready to clap for the people that are in
their power. And earlier I was going to like,
review your business to just like give you a review.
And that's when I saw that I had reviewed you back in like 2021
and it was before you really even were doing a lot of
spiritual work, like you were mainly just doing your podcast
and. I really did feel very honored
to come on to your podcast, but what's even more magical about
this whole situation is like meeting you through Bunny has
led to me meeting like people who Bunny grew up with or or her
actual family and friends, and like having such a big outreach.
It's like I want to bring these people together.
So just to surprise you all, we have a very special guest that's
going to come on this season that is one of Bunny's close
friends. Who I've developed a
relationship with. And I just feel like her and Jim
and I need to like meet one-on-one because it's just so
crazy that all of this brought us together.
And I literally found her, you know, during all of this, like
during the pandemic and like that's when you and I had met.
So it was like. The universe was aligning me
with connections that maybe wouldn't benefit me at that
time, but had evolved over time. And I feel like that the
evolution of our spirituality and our spiritual gifts, it's
only dependent on how much you're willing to share that
with others like. When you do an amazing reading
and you help someone get closure or you help someone have a
breakthrough, there is no other feeling like that in the world.
Because instead of taking from this place and thinking that it
owes you more, you're popping your shit.
Like earlier today it was hailing and I was like, spirit,
please, no hell, please just rain, please no hell.
And like within 10 minutes it just stopped hailing.
And it was small. So I was like, I know it's not
doing damage. It just sounds really loud.
It was scaring the cats. But it's like, I send love to
Mother Earth. I send healing to Mother Earth.
When I throw away something like a plastic bottle, I'm like, I am
so sorry. And I'm always like, why don't
they use cartons anymore? Why don't they?
Like, why is the collagen powder in this big plastic box when it
could be in like a paper, you know what I mean?
Like a cardboard bag or something like coffee comes in.
It's just like things are so wasteful.
And they want you to believe that, like, your carbon
footprint matters when literally, like these yachts and
these freaking jets use like more carbon footprint than like
5 million people. And it's like they want to
convince us that we are the problem that helping someone
else takes away from you or investing in your business takes
away from my business and like instead.
We have so many people. They're like, I joined Gemini's
spell, worked here and cancelled them yours because, you know, I
still get to work with both of you and I'm like, awesome pop
your shit. Like I love it because it
doesn't take away from me and it doesn't take away from anyone.
It helps people spread their energy and then it helps us
bring that back into our community.
We've had so many just like different things that have come
up where you'll point that out and you'll be like, OK, like
this may seem shady over here, but like all that this is doing
is benefiting us. So like let that let that happen
over here, all that it is, is an energy exchange and somehow
having a benefit on us. And it always does.
And something that I love about you too is that, you know, you
have met all of these people, myself and other people through
Bunny or whatever, and met people who are have large
followings and whatnot. And you have never, even behind
the scenes, you've never been like, I'm about to do a reading
for so and so this is about to make my shit blow up.
This is like, I can't wait to like put a video together and
like show everybody that I did this reading for them.
Or, you know, take a screenshot of their message and like, tag
them in it and be like, wow, like this is everything that
came through. And there's a difference to me
because we both will take pictures of like a feedback text
that somebody says where they're like you said a BCD&D was going
to happen, like everything, like unfolded or whatever.
There's a difference between showing somebody's appreciation
to you for the read and and and like sharing that like love and
then breaking down somebody's intimate details about their
reading and what came through and showing.
I hate videos of people talking about shit.
One that you can find online. Like if I see a reading from
somebody and I'm like, I literally know all of that
information. Also, because it's public
knowledge or you know, I, you could do a quick Google search,
but just you can tell people who they'll put videos out there of
people with large followings that they read or that they do
something for. But then all of these small
people who have helped them build up that following and
stuff, they've never shared readings from those people.
So you just use them to monetarily gain and get an
audience, and then once you hit your elite status, now you're
going to pop your shit. I am so turned off by people
like that. Like look at me, look at what
I've done. Like I have done so many
readings for people that are like close knit in the circle
like inner circles and I would never air it out.
Like if they post and they want to shout me out and I share it.
Yes perfect. But so many things that come
through in mediumship sessions and and in greetings are so
private. Never in my life would I share
that information. I, like you said, sometimes will
crop people's names and all the public knowledge stuff out so
that we keep it anonymous. But people are very big on who
they know and sharing all of that knowledge, and it just
makes me feel like you're a snake.
You're untrustworthy, that you're not going to give the
same attention to a small creator as you do a big creator.
And I don't want to do business with you because.
You know recently I had a client start mentorship and we're,
we're trading some work. And I was like, wow, I really
think that your work can help Jim and I, maybe Jim and I will
want to trade you some spell work or something for what
you're doing. And she thanked me like 20
fucking times. Like, Oh my gosh, I can't
believe you did that. Like, thank you, thank you.
And like these small creators really thrive on word of mouth.
Like I. Love when someone's like, I
heard about you from this or someone recommended you.
You know, recently someone reached out and said that
someone told them they had a curse on them and they needed to
remove it. It was $800 and I'm like, we can
do this, this and this. And she was like.
I just, I'm so grateful that I found you.
She's like someone told me to reach out to you and it's like
doing the right thing behind closed doors is what's going to
get you further ahead. Like you can broadcast and get a
million views on TikTok and no one go to your website and book
with you. Like, that's the thing.
Like, I don't need a million people to see my stuff.
I need 5 to 10 to 15 people to resonate with what I'm saying
and come over to my platforms and support me in that way.
Like alike and all of those things are very appreciated.
And I know sometimes I post content that doesn't even like
it's not relevant to my following, but you all will
still comment and like anyways because that does help boost the
algorithm to reach the people that it will help, but at the
same time I'm not like. Wow, Gemini, you never comment
on my videos or you never share my stuff.
You know, I don't care. Because at the end of the day,
like, what's resonant for one person may not be resonant for
the next person. And it's not personal.
And so many people look around at their inner circle and want
them to like, do XYZ. But I promise you, your ideal
client or your ideal supporter is not normally in your inner
circle, and it's only once you've reached some platform of
notoriety that people are like. Wow, I know that girl.
And you know Bunny, we we don't use her for a clout like that's
like a fairy godmother. Like I pour into her as much as
she pours into me, and I am constantly reminding her like.
You have done so much for me. If I connect with a client and
they tell me they found me through Bunny in the blessing,
I'm like, thank you. So Bunny, she's a goddess, like
speaking so much abundance over her life and you know, watching
her the last three to four years manifest what she's manifested.
I have been there by her side while she's done that like I
have watched her do that. Would I be like?
She only did that because of me, or you know what I mean?
Like people want to take clout from something that has nothing
to do with them. Like just support your people in
the way that you can support them, whether that's
energetically, monetarily, or whatever, and keep it moving.
We don't need the story how you went to high school with XYZ and
you know them because I promise you, you probably didn't fuck
with them, you never supported them, and you talk shit about
them until someone of notoriety. Put them on their platform.
And I love to see the comments of oh, I know her, I know her.
But you've never booked a reading, You've never shared a
post. You probably don't even like my
business page, and that's cool. But don't use my name in a room
to try to get some kind of clout.
Like, don't use my name like you know me, because you don't.
Well, and so I want to say two things about that.
So one, the Bunny thing is never a clout thing.
Literally, we wouldn't know each other.
We wouldn't have this podcast together any of that if it
hadn't been for Bunny like. And when I when I trace it back,
right, I talk about how I got that reading from you during
like one of my lowest times that I needed healing and that
reading helped with starting Coven.
I wouldn't have even met you and had that reading if it hadn't
been for Bunny's podcast. So, like, it all comes back in a
way that's like, she's talked about because there's and call
her the fairy godmother because there is such a deep
appreciation for the impact that she's had on our lives by
literally just being her authentic self, like who she is.
And and that's The thing is like you just going out there and
living your passion and being creative and putting yourself
out there without even understanding whose life you're
affecting. That's everything.
The fact that now we're building platforms for ourselves where
we're getting messages from people we don't know that are
like, you're making such a change in my life.
I feel like I have friends when I listen to you guys.
It feels so supportive, means everything.
And also on to what you said about, you know, well, Gemini
doesn't like my posts or like whatever.
People should have friendships that are safe friendships.
If I have to be concerned that me not doing XY&Z is going to
piss you off and not like us joking about like me being late
like me joking like you'll never want to record with me again.
But I mean, we've all had those friends that genuinely were
like, I don't, should I do this or is this going to piss them
off? Or they, you know, or they have
an expectation like, well, you didn't call me in the last two
days. Well, sorry, I have diarrhea and
I can't get to the phone. Honestly, I don't rank my
friendships on anything because like oh, you're on the on your
phone and you haven't text me back.
It would be different if we had plans and you, like, left me.
At the altar, you know what I mean?
Like, I'm waiting for you and you don't show up.
And then I see you posting. Yeah, I'm going to take that a
little personal. But, like, if you just don't
take me back for two days, which you've posted, I'm going to be
like, oh, wow, She's just promoting herself.
She's just putting herself out there.
Like, I'm not going to be like, yeah, she's doing that because
she doesn't like me for real or she doesn't care about me.
Like, so many people take shit personally.
And that's where removing the personal aspect from things
really helps me see that. Like, oh wow.
She's had a rough week and she's decompressing on her story by
posting funny things or you know, I've said this before like
if I get on your post and it's always about this person does
this, my baby daddy does that, school supplies are so
expensive, Fuck the government or whatever.
I mean and it's just constant, like it's it's okay to vent.
But if it's an everyday thing, baby, get a diary and do some
shadow work, because I'm sick of being your.
Mobile diary where I see every little thought that you have.
Like I'll see something like my husband cheated on me and
feeling disgusted bitch go seek therapy because at the end of
the day they're together next week and it's just he made a
mistake and they're going to counseling.
I don't air out temporary feelings.
Until I know that it is very permanent and this is how I
feel, this is where I stand on it.
I don't air out my temporary feelings and I think that has
helped me decipher what's actually important long term is
like okay. Yes, that upset me and it hurt
my feelings. But also what I learned from the
whole debacle over the summer is like those weren't really my
friends, so I didn't lose anything and I gained.
Everything gained so much wisdom, so much clarity on how
far I've come, because the old me would have just taken people
to the ringer and hung your ass to drop, you know what I mean?
But instead, the new me is like, go live in your fantasy world.
I love that. Wow, sell that story to people
who will listen, because the only thing that you had going
for you was that you were in my circle.
And then when you take away me. You're just there.
Like you'll have to go back to your own circle.
You'll have to go back to your own life.
Like, you could live in Fantasyland and have a good
time, but it's not your reality. So, you know, trying to convince
people to not like someone or to not do certain things, it's just
a waste of your energy and your breath because nine times out of
10 people are going to still do whatever they want.
They're not going to think twice about it.
And you're taking it personal. Like, well, I helped her through
that breakup and now she went back to him, and I'm just, I
feel like she neglects our friendship.
Well then you need to evaluate how you're allowing certain
people to make you feel unworthy.
Because a lot of times we be breaking our own heart and it's
no one else's fault but your own.
And also, how dare people want to use a time when someone's in
need and needed a friend or was going through something and then
turn around and air out like that person's business, that
person's dirty laundry. Like I have plenty of people
that I have had fallouts with or whatever in life that I've never
had to blast. You know how I was a good friend
of them or whatever? And and from that situation over
the summer, people who had been rocking with us and also new
people gained a whole different trust.
And yeah, like trust in us because they saw how we actually
navigate situations the exact same way that we're always
talking. Like all that did for people was
show consistency of, oh, you really do handle that shit
exactly the way that you say you're going to and keep on
keeping it pushing. We were so honest about like I'm
pissing the fuck off. My I feel taken advantage of.
Like my feelings are hurt that people would navigate this way
and this is how I'm healing through it and how I'm pushing
and that's what I always want us to be, is like so authentic
about real shit happening. But a bitch isn't going to keep
me down and. Another thing is like when you
have pure intentions, you just really can't lose and there's
nothing that anyone. Has ever gotten from me that I
regret doing. Like if I gave you time and
energy, you probably really needed it, and I hope that you
enjoy it. But I'm revoking access to my
energy, and I think the sweetest revenge is just success and
moving on. Like they need you to stay in
that time warp of bullshit because it keeps them relevant.
But the moment that you revoke your.
Access to you. And you revoke that power that
they're having over you, over your thoughts, over your
happiness, over your finances, whatever you go next level, you
go somewhere that you didn't plan on going.
And I feel like right now that spirit is really showing us
who's there for us. Because we have Neptune and
Retrograde and Pisces and Saturn and Retrograde and Pisces and
it's like. There was so much focus on the
collective, like, we've got to keep you safe and you've got to
do this and protect your neighbor.
And now the collective focus is more towards the illusions that
you allow in your life that actually set you up for failure.
Like you can't go out every weekend and then on Monday be
depressed because you're broke. OK, we'll save some of your
money or OK, stop buying things for people.
I see so many people though. Going above and beyond and I
understand you want to give your kid a life you didn't have, but
spending $500.00 on a balloon Garland and this on that, and
then you know all these things is not showing your child love,
it's displaying your love for the fucking Internet.
And you need to check yourself. Because I promise you, your 4
year old would have been so much happier without a photo wall,
without a balloon Garland, if you were just there in a tenant,
or if you just took them on a little small family intimate.
Vacation. You know, I think that what's
wrong is around 2001 we became a consumerist.
Like that's when Black Friday was created.
Right after 911, they shifted your focus towards, Oh my God,
if you don't have XYZ, you can't be happy.
You need the nice car, You need this.
And they made people fill without.
And I've been on Zillow just looking at the housing market
and the trends. And literally all from like 2001
to like 2015. Houses barely changed.
Like maybe 1005 thousand, less than 10,000 total over the
course of 15 years. But yet in the last eight years
shit has went $100,000 difference, $200,000 difference.
Like they're setting you up for failure by selling you a dream
that doesn't exist. Nobody should go pay $80,000 for
a job. I'm sorry for a degree.
To get a job that pays 60,000. Like they sell us these dreams.
Like, Oh well, if you don't go all out for your kids first
birthday, you don't love them. If you don't go into debt for
your child, you don't love them. Like my little cousin got a
Volvo SUV for his first car. Like, no, he needs a car with a
mirror hanging off so he knows how to respect this
motherfucker. But instead, they went and
bought him like a $45,000 SUV. And they're like, he paid half
of it. Yeah, because he never had to
pay for his phone or anything else.
So of course he was able to save all of this money up, You know
what I mean? Then he should have bought a car
he could pay for. And that's what the system needs
people doing, feeling like they're justifying their love
based on what they spend, based on how they dress.
And my favorite thing is about, like, the designer stuff like
Adam Sandler and people like, they're rich as hell.
And you see them walking around in basketball shorts and
T-shirts that they get at Walmart.
But yet the person who really doesn't have the money is going
to get the BBL surgery, the Louie bag, the Jimmy Choo shoes.
And like, you're only trying to sell something on the outside
because you're unhappy on the inside.
Because most of the time, like, I can go to Walmart and find a
bomb outfit and and rock it like it is designer.
And people will be like, where'd you get those pants?
Walmart. And they're shocked when I say
that because the energy behind it makes it look successful.
And I feel like people need to understand what you're agreeing
to in this reality because we signed up for it.
We signed up to be here. And if you're signed up for the
struggle bus, that's because you booked A1 way ticket on the
struggle bus. Like I had a round trip baby I I
took a little bit of the struggle bus and now we've
brought it back around. I'm like, I would rather walk
than be in a car I can't afford, or I would rather walk than be
in a relationship that doesn't make me happy.
You know, like people want to ride the struggle bus because
everyone's on it. That's where your family's at,
your friends, whoever. But it does not make you happy
to try to live up to a standard that doesn't fit you.
Yeah, I mean, and I've spent too long of my life in younger years
trying to fit into other people's expectations of things.
I mean, I sent you pictures all the time where I'm like five
years ago. Who the fuck is this?
And a huge reason being that I was always trying to fit inside
of. Other people's molds for things
or I know that I didn't color my hair for so many years because
and I would openly say I don't want people to look at me when I
walk into a room. I just want to blend in and
people to not know that I'm there and that's not my
personality. That's not like once I get
talking to people and I'm comfortable, that's not at all
how I am. But I used to be so nervous
about people's expectations and people's like judgments of what
I did and who I was and. It reflects into how you treat
other people too. If you're somebody who you don't
want to be noticed and you don't want to stand out, you are not
going to want to hang out with people that are confident and
going to do that because that will A, it'll trigger you, or B,
it will make you feel like eyes are on you when they're not At
the same time, like birds of a feather flock together.
And if you're used to being around people who have a certain
mindset, a certain energetic blueprint, like they're emitting
fear or they're emitting lack or jealousy or, you know, I
definitely grew up in a household that was very like,
this is mine, this is mine, this is mine, don't touch it, It's
mine, you know? And I noticed that even in,
like, my adult years when I had roommates, they had no sense of
that. Like, there's one Red Bull in
the fridge and my roommate would drink it and leave a note.
I drank your Red Bull like, hello?
Like, what? But that's because he grew up in
a household that was on a silver platter.
You know what I mean? Like, his mom literally treats
Easter like it's fucking Christmas, and he gets a whole
new wardrobe every Easter. And I'm talking like 28 years
old. But it's like people don't
understand what they've never been exposed to.
And I and no longer limiting my reality based on fear.
The moment that I think my money, think my energy, I think
my body constantly for everything it does for me.
Because we spend so much time looking outside of ourselves
that we don't even know what we really want.
We don't even know who we really are.
We're told what we want. We're told what's okay.
We're told what's acceptable. And I know that like, three
years ago when I first started getting, like, visible tattoos,
my parents were, like, beside themselves.
And then now my mom's like, I love your tattoos Or, you know,
now she, like, recognizes that there's a difference.
There's people who have really good quality tattoos and there's
people who just have tattoos and coverage that looks not that
great. And so I think that my family
decided that they were either going to have to accept me for
who I was becoming or they were going to take the back seat and
then possibly be left on the side of the road because I'm not
driving the car that I was given.
You know what I mean? Like, I'm driving the car that I
provide, that I take control of. And I just feel like so many
people are in the back seat of their own life based on their
opinions of their family. And I promise you, if your
family is not encouraging you to do something, it's because your
energy, your spirit, your goals, irritates a part of them that
feels left behind, that feels regret, that feels like they
didn't do what they wanted. So they sure as hell don't want
you to do it. And I've told people this
before, I don't know if I've ever said this on the podcast,
but there are ancestors in your lineage that do not want to see
you break that generational curse because in their mind,
they're like, no, I'm going to come back and I'm going to do
it. I'm going to come back and do
it. And so sometimes like we've got
to really honor the ancestors because a lot of them, they
don't like you. They don't, they don't like that
you're going to be the one to breakthrough.
Like just don't think that because your family is this way
that your ancestors were that way.
Like, we are all very different people.
And I feel like learning more about our lineage really helps
decode why our parents are the way they are.
And we have to keep in mind, depending on when you were born,
your parents were raised by people who were growing up in
the Great Depression, that were raised by people that literally
had no home, had nothing, you know, worked their ass off and
lost everything. And the fact that this has been
allowed to spiral, like over the course of history, it just shows
that people have always put the power in other people's hands.
I know that something that was huge for my mom's family, from
her side of the family, has been the codependence on a husband
and having all of these kids. And that's what you do with your
life and what you make your purpose and you do everything
that it takes for a man. And you know, a lot of them end
up raising kids by themselves because they poured everything
into this person to the point of like.
You know, not necessarily checking to see if it's a good
person or whatever, but just I'm supposed to have a family and
I'm supposed to have kids and that's what I'm supposed to do.
And so that's all that I'm going to do.
And then having to find independence and whatnot later
in life. And that's something that I
never wanted. Like I wanted to be a parent,
but I never wanted to be underneath of somebody else and
have to follow, like their rules and guidelines and expectations.
And that is. So it's so easy to say like this
isn't what I want to do and then have it, you know, you get in
relationships and what not and having to work on healing
through all of that because that's passed down
generationally. Exactly.
And a lot of women have very little drive because they
watched their mom or their grandmother do the certain
things. And honestly, as a man, I would
love. I'm not a man, but if I was a
man, I would love to have a partner who is a go getter or
wants to bring home the bread. You know, like the problem with
society is that the man has been so far removed from what
actually goes on behind the scenes in the home.
And now we've got women in the workforce who still have to come
home and run a household. And that's just not fair.
That's like, that's the standard when women were at home all day
that they did those things. But the fact that so many people
argue over basic chores and basic things like laundry and,
you know, whatever it is really makes me chuckle.
Because the only added thing that men really get is like yard
work. Like that gets added in, but
like, that's not a yearround thing.
Like, laundry doesn't stop because it's winter, you know
what I mean? Like, house cleaning doesn't
stop because it's winter. And that's why I encourage
everyone to really evaluate the, like, problem areas in your
relationship. And like, if it's something that
could be outsourced and fixed, the money is worth it.
It's well spent to do that. And I know that back whenever I
mentioned having a house cleaner to Jim and I before, she was
like, Oh no, never. Now she has a house cleaner.
Y'all because it's the facts. Like if you can delegate that to
someone else, why not? Like if you can do it and you
make it a part of your life, I promise you your quality of life
improves. Because then instead of working
all week and knowing that Saturday and Sunday you've got
to do laundry and XYZA, lot of it's already done.
I mean, my house cleaning person does not clean my laundry, but
like all the other things, the bathrooms and things I don't
want to do, that's cool. Yes, I'm a sweeper run the
vacuum cleaner, I obviously do the dishes, things like that.
But it's like when you take away 75% of the load and you can
delegate that to someone else, your relationships will improve.
Rather than being mad at your husband for not doing it, you
remove the argument, you remove the tension and you just
delegate it to someone who does that and they do it way better.
It's like what someone who like doesn't want to do something
might take them six hours, and someone who does it for a
living, it takes them two hours to do the same thing.
Time is money, baby, and you're not getting more time.
You can always make more money though.
Yeah, I recently have discovered that my mental health really
struggles if I'm in clutter or things are dirty.
But I also am not going to keep up on the cleaning and being
able to do things. And just sitting here, it causes
resentment if you know that, like you're going to be the one
who's going to be cleaning it and you also don't want to be
the one who's going to be cleaning it and you know.
There's always going to be arguments about, like chores and
delegating things, right? Like, I'm sure that there are
things that like, my husband wishes that I was able to help
him out with and like maintenance stuff that I would
notice Or you know what? Not.
And they're going to be things around the house that like.
I wish that I could have help with too.
And so I'm going to expect that if you need mechanical help with
something, you're not going to be sitting here being resentful
towards me because I don't want to fucking do that.
And I'm going to do the end that you would go out and find
yourself help. And I'm going to do that with
the house stuff. I don't.
I actually don't care enough to sit here and care that you don't
want to do dishes or you know that you don't want to deep
clean the kitchen. I will just have somebody come
in and I'll give them a fucking reading and have them.
Like there's and people have the pettiest fucking arguments and I
feel that people can have such a solid relationship about things.
And literally you have, so you just have nothing else to
discuss in life. So you're just going to argue
over household chores. Like that is the last thing that
I would bring to. OKI guess when it comes to me, I
also still very much have this like gender roles thing inside
of my mind. Like there are certain things
that like my husband, as the man in our relationship is going to
handle. And there are other things that
like as the like woman in our relationship, I feel is like
what I'm going to handle. And we can meet in the middle
sometimes on those things, but. I as as a person, want to make
and want to feel like I am making things nice for my
husband and that, you know, he works all these long hours and
now late at night and he's up like barbecuing and stuff.
I want when he comes home, for the house to be picked up, for
him to have laundry in his closet ready to go.
And sure, I had to go and work at an office and I had to have
the kid all day. But that's not.
You know, he's busting his ass too.
So where is like our our equal in the middle.
And that's my love language, I guess is like, I want you to
come home and feel safe in your space and feel like you are
comfortable. And his love languages.
I was out and I was thinking about you while I was busy
today. So I picked this up for you on
my way home. I grabbed you flowers or I
grabbed you a coffee for the morning so you don't have to
worry about it or, you know, whatever.
I think we as humans have to figure out what works for you
inside your own home rather than looking to other people and
fantasizing about how they operate.
Because a lot of those people that have these fancy ass houses
and live in these like just luxurious neighborhoods, fucking
hate it because they're in debt. They have a 200, three, $100,000
mortgage over their head. And the thing about that is you
need to buy within your means, whatever it is, whether it's a
car, whether it's a home, whether it's this.
Because when you step out of your means and you start trying
to be something you're not, you put pressure on your family to
live up to some certain persona. So okay, great, you have this
wonderful house, but now you never get to go on a vacation or
your son can't play football because it's $800 to sign up and
you don't have that ready to go. Or you have this big fancy house
that has two A/C units and they both go out and it's $12,000 to
replace. You know, it's like people think
that material things will make them happy, but you have to
figure out what your system is. And I personally love when
people are just like, you know what?
That's not for me. And they do something different.
I think there are gender roles that are very important, but at
the same time, like let people expand beyond your mental
construct for them, because just because that's what is expected
doesn't mean that that's reality.
Like, I love that Bunny and them drop all their laundry off and
pick it up, but that's the next goal for me.
The next goal for me is picking up all my tshirts and that nice
little plastic wrap folded perfectly and they just go into
the drawer. That's goals to me because if
I've already elevated past like, certain levels, but that's the
next level. I don't want to do all kinds of
laundry all the time. You know what I mean?
And like, there's levels to certain things, and when your
mental health is being affected, you should really pour into
figuring out a solution rather than pointing the blame or
pointing fingers at someone else.
I agree. And you were also talking about,
you know, not comparing your relationship and and you know
what you're wanting in a relationship or what not to what
you're seeing around you. And I think that people will so
often fantasize about like other people or other relationship
dynamics or something that they see and not appreciate the life
that they have because oh, I, you know, I wish that my man
doted on me like that or did this will.
You can fantasize about that, but if you were inside of that,
people believe their whole fucking lives, their whole
relationships, their whole everything, because they see
something on the Internet and they're like, I should be
looking for that. You may find that you know you,
you don't like that somebody is waiting on you and catering to
you all the time because they don't have any kind of backbone
and they're a fucking jellyfish and they're a yes man and you
can't. They're, you know, just yes,
man, I always call it. Like the puppy dog effect where
like you get, we've all done it. Where you get with the bad boy
and you're like, this is what I'm wanting, like, yeah, biker
daddy. And then you guys like start
hanging out and whatever and all of a sudden he's a spineless
fucking jellyfish and he'll never talk back to you and he'll
never stick up for himself and you know, whatever.
And that ends up not being cute. Or you can, you know, want.
This over here that looks aesthetically this way, but then
you don't like the way that that person treats people.
You don't like the way that they navigate behind the scenes.
They don't have a good moral compass.
They have everything that they have because they cheat and lie
and steal to get it. So it's always to me, it's been
a huge priority like in my marriage and and in my life, to
try and assess realistically. Are the things that like I'm not
happy with or that I would want to change?
Are they just because I'm bored and I'm used to how things are
and I want to switch things up? Or is it because there's
genuinely something in my life that needs to change and you
know, whatever, and having those real soul deep conversations
with yourself for people who? Feel that they make like manic
life choices. I used to feel like all my life
choices were manic choices. It would only make me happy
temporarily. And it's because you can get
used to living your life off of endorphins and looking for like
an immediate satisfaction to something.
So I feel overwhelmed and I feel pissed off by this.
I'm going to leave and I'm never going to come back to this
relationship again. And then you can regret that
when you're looking for things you know for a grass is greener
situation. And another thing about that is
a lot of people don't know what they want and then they're upset
that their partner or whoever is not providing that.
And I think that communication is so important to me and the
first time someone's words and actions don't match, it's very
easily like identifiable. To be like, you know what,
that's not gonna work for me long term.
Like instead of like playing the game, I'm like, you know what,
that's just not gonna work for me.
I'm not gonna get attached or put my feelings into something
when I know down the road this will be an issue.
And I feel like you have to hold yourself accountable for what
you attract because you're only attracting what you're allowing
into your life. And another thing is like set
standards and boundaries and stick to them because we teach
people how to treat us. So if you let something slide
because you're like, Oh no, I'm 38 and I need to have a baby and
I need to get married because that's what society says.
And then you look up and you're 43.
You are going to hate yourself for settling because of a
societal standard, because it didn't make you happy, It didn't
fix your problems. Now you're locked into some
crazy mortgage. You've got a kid and now you're
stuck. Now you feel even immobile.
And I feel like I read something the other day and it said.
Normalize enjoying your 30s, with or without children, like,
regardless, like with or without children.
Like, enjoy what you have before you receive what's coming.
Because so many people want to close a chapter that they're
meant to bask in or that they're meant to enjoy so that they can
have that next chapter. And then when you get to that
next chapter, you're going to look back and be like, I don't
have time for myself. I can't take naps.
I can't wash my ass anymore because I'm so busy with this,
you know? It's like be accountable and
understand that peace and quiet will disguise itself as boredom,
or that the passion or fire is lost.
But when you're used to arguing and screaming and fighting and
all those things, peace and quiet feels boring and it takes
you a while to adjust. But it doesn't mean that there's
something better out there. It just means that you need to
set with the silence because the universe is trying to get
through to you with something. So we're going to start ending
every episode with a My human design card.
So I'm going to let Jim and I pull that for you all.
And I've been sitting here shuffling while we've been
talking so that we can incorporate, you know, the
energy of our conversation into the cards.
And we got card 14 for possibilities.
It's an arcade game. Card 14.
The sign is Scorpio. This is fitting.
Your gift is individualism and your shadow is compromise.
The gift of individualism to embrace your unique code of
genius is to honor your gift to the collective.
You infuse everything you do with a sense of aliveness,
versatility, and eagerness. You brush past the labels and
conditions of the programmed world to work, to enslave
oneself, and to abide by the rules of society.
You carve out a path that is truly your own and possess
endless passion along the way. When you access this gift, life
opens for you in new and exhilarating ways, and the
future is filled with possibility and expansion.
You perceive not only your own incredible abilities, but the
strengths and gifts of others. Through your keen discernment,
those around you alive and with confidence, in a lasting sense
of purpose and your shadow, is compromised.
In our childhood, before mired in the collective conditioning
of our world, we possess an enthusiasm for all that we can
be and all that we might become. There is exuberance in youth.
Through schooling and other modalities for homogenization,
we learn to temper our deepest desires with realism, and the
spark of inspiration is lost to the steady drum of sameness, A
lackluster state of being. We forget our brand of genius
and enmesh ourselves within the herd.
We compromise ourselves and our highest potential for the sake
of fitting in. We forsake our individuality and
live on autopilot. This shadow rules you whenever
you ignore your intuition or your heart and instead obey your
programming. In the outside world of
opinions, your themes are discernment, innate gifts,
passion and exuberance. And that's where we shall leave
you all today. That was also one that was card
14 and 1 + 4 is five and five was our number last time.
Look at all the signs you all and we are so grateful for our
communities, for our audience, for everyone that supports the
podcast, it really does mean a lot to us.
Once again, go to lollipoppodcast.com to submit
questions or any topic request and we would be so grateful if
you all left us a review on Spotify or Apple or wherever you
are listening. Yes, we'll see you next time.
Bye, bye.