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hope you love the episode. Awesome.
Welcome back to another episode of Candy Land and this one is a
spicy, spicy episode. We told you all in our intro
that we were going to have a spicy podcast and we have went
all over the spectrum with different people in different
industries, but we have never had a dominatrix before.
So this is going to be very exciting and Jim and I is going
to introduce and get us going. Yes, we have the beautiful
Goddess Witch with us today. I have known you for Oh well
over a year, maybe even like two or three years at this point.
I feel like for so long. Dominatrix witch, master of all
things welcome. Hi, I'm so glad to be on this
show. This is definitely going to be
one of your spicier ones, I can tell.
So this is the episode that you need to be on Patreon to see the
visuals because there is a dungeon and neon colored
utensils all over the place and there are visuals that you will
be missing out. So this is a good time to
literally go down to the info section and subscribe to one of
our Patreons, because this is where we're heading is a more
visual experience. So thank you.
Got a switch for bringing the visuals.
So let's get started and just go ahead and give us a little
insight into your world. Oh gosh, the insight into my
world. Well, yes, I am definitely
sitting here in my dungeon right now and I am surrounded by all
kinds of fun things. There's a cage right here behind
me that usually has a submissive taking a nap or being punished
or begging to worship at my feet inside of that.
That's the missive currently is over here being my Vanna White
handing me thing while I'm talking to you.
And next to me I've got all kinds of of fun little toys and
visuals that we'll be going over at some point in the evening.
There are things that cause pain and things that cause laughter
and things that cause me joy, mostly.
But we have we have so many different kinds of things that
you would never expect to see in a dungeon.
So I'm really excited to dive in and show you guys everything
here. Wow, I am so excited.
Before we proceed, was that an elephant shrunk?
That was a rain stick from Chile.
Wow. It's actually made from cactus
and it's got so initially when rain sticks are made, they have
basically the spiny parts of the cactus that are sticking out
that you would injure yourself on.
They are shoved into the cactus and then the beads or crystals
or whatever it is that's inside the cactus, rain stick will go
down against those finds inside and that's what's making the
noise here. Well, this particular rain stick
has been used in impact place so many times that the spikes and
things have actually started to come back out.
So this is actually not just a rain stick anymore.
This is kind of used like a baseball bat and impact play,
and it does cause a little bit of marking and sometimes some
little blood splatters can happen if we go hard enough with
these, but it's also really soothing.
So you're like, soothing you with a sound stick.
I'll be you absolutely sound stick.
And you'll love it. And you'll be in bliss the whole
time you're bleeding. It's fine.
OK, I like where we're going with this.
OK, so I just want to put this out there for everyone
listening. So I have like been receiving
all these anonymous questions recently and a lot of people
really wish I would get into dominatrix stuff or only fan sex
work just in general. And I'm like, not even really
excited by everything they're saying except being mean to men.
That sounds cool. And being worshipped.
I like that one too. So I'm like, maybe I could work
with this. And then Jim and I had mentioned
before about you coming on to the podcast.
So I just want to say, every time I see you in Gemini's chat
rooms, it's just like titties and dildos and other things.
And it it'll just literally, like, I'll open her chat for
five seconds and there's titties in the sunlight, titties out of
nature, like out like out and about.
Just, I don't know. So if you all really like, don't
you ever have your own? Like, well, I didn't get to do
my homework because I was gonna do it.
Somebody's there. But I have a lot of questions
'cause I'm I'm vanilla so I don't know a lot of things that
I'm interested in learning. All right.
So where were you going with that?
You said, don't you have your own?
What were you gonna say? Like platform that you that
you're putting your that's what you sent to us.
Like your your. Pet life.
Oh, right, right. Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's basically my kinky Facebook.
Yep, Yep, That's where my my titties and my pussy, they hang
out there all day and and like you know all of the the random
inbox messages being like, hey, I wanna suck on your toes and
drink your golden shower piss all all day long, every day.
It's it's pretty awesome. No, I actually.
Really. Have you ever sold anybody your
pee? Have I?
That's a loaded question. Have I sold anyone my pee?
Well, that's not technically legal, but what I do is let
people lay under me while I unleash my golden nectar, and if
they happen to get a whole bunch of it in their mouth and drink
it and and fall into a blissful state, that's not my fault.
I mean, it happens, sure. Do you have to do anything in
preparation for doing that type of play?
Like do you eat certain types of food so that like like people
will eat different types of food so there come taste different,
right? Like, do you eat different types
of food so that your golden nectar tastes like honey?
Oh gosh. So I actually take chlorophyll,
and it's one of the the main things that I attribute to
having a little bit less body odor than a lot of people.
I think it makes my pussy smell great, It makes my breath smell
great, it makes everything taste great.
And my sub will confirm that my pee tastes a lot better when
I've been on the chlorophyll for a while.
But I drink a lot of water these days, and you can definitely
tell when I don't drink the water because they don't like to
put it in their mouth nearly as much.
So I would definitely say when we're going to be doing golden
shower play, I drink a lot more than a lot more water than
anything else, for sure. So is that something that a lot
of people have as a fetish? And because I feel like there
are fetishes that people have, but they're keeping them on the
DL and like keeping them secret and keeping them in the closet.
And I feel like with these anonymous questions I've been
receiving, I'm really getting like a scope into the mail
psyche. And even, you know, who knows
what, who and where and who these people are, 'cause they're
anonymous, I have no idea. And they can pretend to be
whatever they want to be. But some of the things that
people have said, it's like they're ashamed of it and
they're to tell their partner and they thought, yeah, well,
because I'm very transparent. Like that's the only reason I'm
doing this. It's kind of fun, but I'm
transparent. I'm not judging people.
Just because I I don't like it doesn't mean that they
shouldn't. But also I'm that person.
Like I I'll try almost everything, probably once, and
then I'll decide if I like it, and then if not, I really.
Think everybody should be that way.
Try everything at least once, right?
So you touched on so many different things right there in
that one thing that you just said that just hits home for why
I do what I do. And it's it's the trust
building. It's people not having anybody
they can go to to talk to you about these things and okay,
listen up, bitch. It is not just the men that are
hitting you up in your inbox. And it is not just the men that
are hitting me up in my inbox, OK?
These women out there have these fetishes and these kinks and
these things in their mind that they want to try to.
They're not going to go to their husbands or their girlfriends or
whoever it is that they're with. Sometimes they're like, Oh my
God, I feel ashamed that I really want you to just choke me
and call me a little fucking whore.
Like, they want that, right? But they're not going to tell
the person that they're with that.
So they're going to come to a dominatrix or they're going to
hopefully find somebody that they can trust like you, and
they're going to go to them and they're going to say, hey, I've
got this thing. Am I weird?
To my normal And this is what I do as a professional dominatrix,
as a lifestyle dominatrix. I'm going to listen to these
people. I'm going to talk to them about
their kinks. I'm going to reassure them that
these things are perfectly normal.
This is all part of your your psychology.
This is part of your life, This is part of your spirit, your
soul. This is just the nature of life
in general. Life is fucking kinky.
OK, we are. We are one of those goddamn
kinky dramatic plays. What is the existential comedy
like? Whatever that shit is, right,
Dante's. What is it called?
I can't even remember. Existential, whatever that is.
But we're tragic comedy. What was that?
I. Said Dante's Inferno.
Right, Exactly. But we're we're life is a tragic
comedy, right? And if you constantly go through
life and you think about all of the things that are in your mind
that you think make you weird or you think make you a freak and
you just don't want to talk to people, you're going to be
living your life in the tragedy part of things.
Why not take everything that's in your head?
Why not take those things that you think make you weird and
start to explore those things? Talk to people about them.
Go out and explore and and do the weird things.
Grab the fucking squirting Dick and have a dominatrix cum and
stick this thing up your damn ass and squirt cum Lube in it.
And you're going to be singing my praises for the next three
days and you're going to say, holy shit, I I thought that I
was going to go to hell and burn in the fires of whatever because
the pastor said so, right? Oh shit.
Our bodies are made to enjoy. Life is made to enjoy.
If there's something that you want to try, if you want to try
this sharp ass Wartenberg wheel on your skin and you want to
feel this going up and down your nipple or your cock or your
balls or your pussy lips or whatever, fucking try it.
Because chances are you're going to love this thing.
And then I'm going to put some ice on it over word or or
afterwards, right over the top of where I've just poked the
shit out of you everywhere. And you're going to be singing
those praises because that's a whole new sensation.
There's so many things that your brain can come up with that it
wants to try or that you read in a book.
Everybody's reading smut these days, right?
These days. Yeah, all the smut that you're
reading. You got the fairies in there and
they've got their BDSM stuff and they've got the collars and the
leashes and they've got the sloggers and the spanking
things, right? Yeah, you got all of this stuff.
Try that shit. That smut is there for a reason.
That smut is best seller for a reason.
Because you guys read this stuff and you're like, Oh my God, I
could never. Yeah, you can, you can and you
really should. I don't know.
I totally got off on a tangent. So I have no idea if I answered
your question, but I do that. I have a lot of questions that
Jim and I face. She wants to talk, I can tell.
No, I was looking at your face while while they were talking
and it was you're like, you were like tranced out and paying so
much attention and then you just started laughing and smiling.
It just makes you. Because she's picking up like
utensils, you all. And this one thing is very
spiky. And then she picked up this
other thing that was metal that also looked, I don't know.
So I was just observing all of these items and then there's a
hot pink dildo right over her right shoulder.
There's actually like four of them.
I don't know how many there's over there.
It's like a whole octopus. There's so many.
There's like 42. And I'm just checking things.
She's got like a black light on them and it's like very lit up,
like look at my entourage, like, look, the gang is all here.
Yeah, I think during the demonstration part I might have
to take the phone off the stand and take you around for a little
tour. Yes, one of the questions.
So we had compiled questions before we were coming in to do
the interview and we sent those out and one of them had been
what is the, I think it might have been like what's the
strangest request that you had received or something like that.
And I was interested in knowing your answer after us just
talking about like not kink, shaming and accepting everything
and whatnot. I'd be interested in seeing if
you had something that stuck out to you, or if you were like I
would never say something is strange.
I actually do have a couple of things.
One of them, OK, so I had a client who was really into it.
Wait for it. Wait, wait for it.
Rubber ducks. OK, it's like the kind in the
bathtub. Rubber duckies, right?
Grab me a handful of those little ducky guys out of there.
So basically what he wanted was this entire scene centered
around rubber ducks. OK, so picture me in full
Dominix dominatrix gear surrounded by hundreds of little
rubber ducks cracking away. I was cracking, right?
The rubber ducks were cracking. I was cracking.
He even brought his own rubber duck army into the dungeon.
I'm. I'm not stating you rubber duck
army. OK, The request was for me to
incorporate all of these rubber ducks into our session in the
most creative ways possible. When you think about creative
ways I could incorporate rubber ducks into a session, think
about the places I can stuff rubber ducks.
Think about the things I could have someone do with their mouth
with rubber ducks. Think about the places I could
put rubber ducks all over me, all over them.
We had rubber ducks. We had rubber ducks literally
coming out the yin Yang all over the sentence.
So there I was, commanding this battalion of rubber ducks like a
general. I was using them in ways I never
thought rubber ducks can use. We had ducks on strings.
We had ducks as impact toys. Ducks were everywhere.
I have these cute little glow in the dark duckies right here.
These I used as a Ishi Ducky. So Ishi Ducky is basically where
you have somebody kneel on a tray of like gravel or beads or
something that will make their shins really like Indenti.
And it's just it's very unpleasant and uncomfortable.
So this was issued Ducky ha ha ha see what I did there?
But these glow in the dark and these made little cute glow in
the dark Ducky shaped indents all in the shins because they
were on that for 10 to 15 minutes or so.
Yes, go. So this person basically was
like, you know what? I just want to lay on a pile of
Legos for like 20 minutes and then I want the song and Matrix
to just beat the shit out of me with these rubber ducks
afterwards. Like.
Well. He didn't have anything to do
with the ducks that that were like the Legos.
That was all me. But yeah, he he wanted the
ducks. I am here for that because I
would have never thought of that as a kink, but I will ask you a
question. So a while back, my DMS are a
crazy place and there was someone that was clearly on
drugs, Like their home was a representation of this situation
and they had a like hoarding house that they wanted to do,
like giant play, like they were trying to pay me.
Basically they wanted me to come do methamphetamine with them and
be a giant. I don't know this person, Al.
And they had some crackhead videos of this other woman.
And I'm talking like I'm I'm saying crackhead because like,
I've done drugs before and this bitch looked like a crackhead.
Like, it's serious. Wasn't OK.
It looks scary. I was scared.
They were like stepping on glass and stepping on this little town
and stepping on all these crazy things.
And is that something that's very common, giant play?
Because I'm. Like, yes, I actually have a
whole giant test series. Yes, on fat life.
On fat life. Yeah, whole giant test series of
photos. It's huge.
Yeah, I think literally huge. It's huge.
Literally, though, it's it
really stems from, psychologically speaking, for
the giant Test play. A lot of times these semesters
really want to feel small and inferior, and the female
superiority is their huge fetish.
And so when a giant Test appears and can basically do anything
they want, they can crush, they can swallow you whole.
The the submissive can be inside of you and like literally they
want you to tell stories about going in through your stomach
and down through and being digested and coming out your
asshole. Y'all they want to be the shit
that comes out of your asshole. Like they are that inferior.
So the whole giant says, yeah, the whole giant says does That
is just really surrounds itself with that inferiority complex
and and wanting to be objectified and and being
humiliated and being made to feel small in a lot of ways.
That's so interesting. I I would never have thought of
that. But also that totally makes
sense. I recently saw a girl who I
followed that. Does she does sex work?
And she was talking about how men will, not just men, but
people will message her and ask her to, like, wear underwear for
certain amount of days, whatever.
And so she's been like, somebody's asked me to wear like
the same underwear for like 2 weeks before.
And she's like and I have to have restrictions on things
because there does come a sanitation thing.
And so she's talking about how there are some workers who will
do things like put tuna juice and microwave it and then send
it or things like that because they they want to give them what
they're wanting, because they're wanting that fulfillment.
But it's also not a sanitary thing that they can actually do.
So are there anything like that where you, like, have to make
accommodations on things or or you're like, oh, that is
something like for the safety and Wellness of you, you can't
choke on my shit. Like what are your things?
Well, as far as garments and underwear and things, I also
have a limit. Mine is a three day limit and
they have to pay dearly for anything past the day for me.
So three day limit for me sanitation wise because who
wants a fucking yeast infection or UTI from sitting in sweaty?
No thank you. So I am very careful with that.
I also am really careful to live very authentically.
So I won't sell somebody something that I have told them
I've worn for two weeks or whatever and I've just made it
smell funny. That's not my jam at all.
But I do know people who have done that.
I don't encourage that. I think that people will
appreciate you more if you'll just be upfront and honest with
them. Honestly, I just, I can't.
I can't get on board with the other stuff.
Look. And then of course I do have my
hard limits as far as shit and scat and all of that thing I
won't crap in people's mouth. In fact, I don't do scat things
in person. That's a sanitation limit for
me. The only scat stuff that I will
do is photos and video and even that that's that's going to be
you're going to pay me a pretty penny for me to even think about
showing you what comes out of my asshole, my golden nectar.
That's a whole other story. I will freely splatter that all
over your face and the camera. But the rest of it?
No, you're going to you're going to be paying me quite a bit for
that, but not in person, because that's sanitation.
Y'all nasty, no? So.
Heavy. I have a question about safety
as far as these people coming to your.
Dungeon. Yes, What's your question?
What's up with that guard? You got somebody with a machine
gun by the door. Like what's up?
So we are pretty protected out here at our space, but I do a
lot of vetting beforehand. So and what vetting means
basically is I'm making sure that whoever is coming out here
to my space, which is called the queendom, I have done my checks
and balances. I've seen their Idi have
validated that they are an actual human being.
I've run a safety check on them for a known sex offender and any
kind of violent crime. So anybody who makes it out here
has already gone through a check and there's not going to be
anybody out here that poses a safety risk that is known.
I have also gone on to their Fetlife profiles or whatever
social media they've given me because they have to fill out a
very lengthy application to be able to come to my dungeon.
So I've gone through every single social media profile
they've given me. I've looked them up everywhere I
can possibly look them up. I've contacted their friends.
I've contacted people they've played with before.
If they've contacted or if they've had a play session with
another mistress, they've had to put that on there.
They have to give me referrals. They're not coming into my dudge
without giving me referrals. I see the look on your face
well. I'm asked that because you're
saying like, you know, you call their friends and stuff because
like, what if they're like super closet?
You know, keeping it hush hush. Oh no, they're friends.
That they give me. What if they've never been with
a mistress they like, are wanting to keep it secret?
You do the background check. It's OK, but you're still
letting them come without with that referral on that end like
it's their first time? Yeah, if it's their very first
time and they've never had that, never had any kind of an
interaction. So they don't have a
professional reference to give me.
They still need to have some kind of a presence on social
media, especially like the kinky social media, because that's
usually where I get most of my clients.
They need to have some kind of a presence.
If they're a A1 friend profile with one picture and no activity
on their profile, sorry, they're not making it out here.
I don't care if I've seen it, Your ID, I've run your check.
If you have zero activity, that's really sketchy to me.
And if there's a way that they still want to get vetted, I will
be doing public munches so they can absolutely come to meet me
out at a restaurant somewhere where I do that once or twice
every couple of months where people can actually come out.
They can meet me in person if they haven't wanted to submit,
maybe their IDs. Some people don't want to submit
their ID online, so there's ways to meet me.
Where if they don't have references to give me, they can
still get into my space and I'll be able to feel their energy and
see if we're going to be a good fit for working together.
Do they pay you to meet for the lunch?
They do, yeah. Munches sometimes are free.
If it's like a munch with a whole bunch of people coming,
but if they want to do like a one-on-one or a few on one where
it's more of like a private meet up, then yeah, they do have to
pay for my time for that. If I'm going to leave my home
when I didn't already have a munch planned, Yep, they pay for
my time. I'm here for it.
Were you already into the lifestyle that you're into now
when you met your husband? I was.
I was actually in this lifestyle, Oh my gosh, I'm going
to, I'm going to out myself here.
From the time I was 18 years old and a stripper.
That is when I started getting into the lifestyle and I was
found by my mentor and kind of led through the ropes over the
years. And I did take kind of a break
as I grew up and had kids and did those things.
I kept things a little bit more private or on the down low or
online type of thing. Not a lot of online, but I did
slow way down during the kid year and then after that back to
after my kids grew up. Then I was right back into the
Dom, the Dom world. And when I met my current
husband, he definitely was, I would say, a little shocked and
floored when he found out what I did and I didn't do it.
That was not like the main thing that I did.
But every now and then, you know, I would go and I would
have a client, I would be going off somewhere and I'd be taking
my big bag of glass dildos and nipple clamps and things like
that. And he's like, what the hell?
So I had to complain eventually. So that was a little bit of a
shocker when we first met. I love that, though.
I think it's so cool to have a partner that's like supportive
of all those things. Because we talked a lot on here
about how there's a lot of insecurity and a lot of
partnerships. And so many people, whether it
be kink or other things, they will not explore things that
interest them or go out and do different things because, well,
that person doesn't like me to have time away from them or
it'll make them feel like they're not getting enough
attention from me. And so for you to be able to
physically have a hobby, job, whatever it may be that you are
so much to so many people because you're pouring so much
of yourself energetically, I feel like it takes a very
specific partnership to be able to handle how much outpouring of
energy you've given to others and also how much it pleases
other people to receive that energy and and give back to you.
Oh yeah, absolutely. I definitely couldn't be as
successful doing what I'm doing without a partner that wasn't so
supportive of that. And he is not necessarily into
the lifestyle to the level that I am into the lifestyle.
Like, he is definitely kinky with me and he is involved with
our submissives that we have as well.
But he doesn't do scenes or sessions or anything like that
and is usually not in the dungeon with me.
Occasionally he'll come in if there's a really interesting
scene happening or like a bunch of hot chicks in here.
She definitely wants to be in here for that.
So he'll come in for that for sure.
But yeah, he's super supportive and I can tell him all about all
of the things that go on. So he is not into the lifestyle.
You've just kind of could swayed him over the line a little bit
and have your own thing going, but he doesn't come in and like
join the session. Right.
Yeah, exactly. He's he's off doing his own
thing and he knows all about all of the things and he hears
things and he's my support system here.
Like when we have our retreats, we just had a kinky retreat here
for the goddess within. And he is chef Sir.
He's the one that cooks for everybody.
So all the ladies are here and he's cooking his orgasmic
whipped cream and all of the things that he's famous for
here. So he's definitely as much of A
draw, I think, for coming to the queendom as I am and as like
Bunny is, because he's definitely famous for catering
to us and taking care of us all and and be in that right hand
for me. Nice.
I love that. That's really interesting.
So what is the one thing that you are wanting to explore for
yourself? Is there anything that you
haven't tried any, like fantasies that you want to play
out? Thanks because I know you're
taking requests, but like, what about what you doing?
Boo. I actually have a fuck it list
on Vet Life. It's my 2024 bucket list of all
the things that I want to try, and I've checked off several of
them so far. Recently I've just gotten into
rope and rope suspension, and that was on my Fuck it list
because I had never been suspended.
I had only just barely, barely played in rope, like like tying
a couple of wrist things right. And so over the past couple of
months I met an amazing rigger who I've become very close with,
and he's helping me to learn the ropes too, of learning to tie
and whatnot. But I recently experienced my
first suspension in rope and which was just absolutely
fantastic. And then I'm getting ready to
do, this weekend my very first water rope suspension.
So I'll actually be suspended over water, which is terrifying
for me because I have a fear of drowning.
So this is going to be kind of some fear play for me, and I am
not into fear play at all. So this is a new exploration for
me. Whereas the rope part isn't new
and the suspension part isn't new.
Now we're adding in a whole new level, and this is going to be a
little bit scary. And I'm going to be completely
tied up and immobilized and like, having to completely trust
my rigor and the team around us as we're doing this.
That I'm going to be OK. And that they're not going to
let me fall in the water. And I'm not going to drown.
Because like, I I'm not even going to worry about speaking
this into existence. I just feel that one, I'm going
to die by drowning. It's just one of those things
I've almost drowned three times. So this is a huge trust exercise
for me. Are you going to record that?
Yes, for sure. Where do you post that?
It'll be posted on Fetlife and I might post it on Facebook,
depending on what we're all wearing for the scene.
Is that life free? It is free.
Yes. You can pay extra for the
videos, it's free for like the photos and the profiles and
stuff, but if you want to watch videos it's like $5 a month or I
don't remember how much it is but some cheap insane amount.
I'm only laughing because of Paige starting to do her hair
curl. As you're talking.
Is that free? Like, is that free?
Like, I just. I feel like it's so funny
because there's been quite a few episodes recently where she's
been like, no, like, what if this is like my calling or
something? And like these questions are
like bringing this out. And so just being like, I can
see her like light bulbs and things like while you're talking
and she's like, what's funny to me too is that, and I I've
talked about this, but when we first started the podcast, Paige
and I didn't know each other super well.
We were like, still getting to know each other and like, really
enveloping our friendship. And I have always thought that
she was just like the most sweet, innocent, like little
cherubs. And then you start talking to
her and she's like, I I love men with a record and a throat
tattoo. Like, I'm really into, you know,
ABC and D and I'm like you just, you know, you just never know,
looking at people as you walk past them, what somebody's into.
Oh yeah, 100% some of the people that come into this dungeon that
you wouldn't think they look like the most innocent little
schoolgirls, and they are the sluttiest, trampiest little
fucking whores that you would ever imagine that want you to
shove everything up their asses and in their mouth at the same
time. It's insane, yeah.
I know, like we talked about safe words earlier privately.
So do all of your clients that come in have a safe word?
How often is the safe word card pulled?
Yes, everybody that comes in here is required to have a safe
word and if they don't have a safe word we have a standard set
of safe words that we use. So that is definitely not a
negotiable thing. Even for scenes which I
typically don't practice, the consensual non consent type
scenes where they tell you even if I say my safe word don't
stop, I'd I'm not particularly fond of those types of things so
I don't usually do those. However, there have been
instances where I have my deceptions and done those types
of scenes. But even for those types of
scenes where they're saying they're safe word and they've
told you don't stop even when there is a backup safe word
where it is. OK, I'm not going to stop when
you're saying you're safe word, but if you really need me to
stop, say you're fucking the safe word which is a whole other
one. So there's always a safe word
for sure 100%. Well, this is the second part of
that question. How often do people pull that
card? Not very often.
I I tend to, I tend to be able to judge when a person is at
their limit fairly well and I can back down enough to where
they don't get to that safe word to where they're going to stop.
And it depends on what which safe word we're talking about
where. If we get to the middle safe
word, which is usually like yellow, they might need me to
slow down or back off, but usually we have hand signals as
well. It'll show me and I can read
body language and I can feel heat where I'm applying my
impact play, so I can tell when they're kind of getting to a
threshold where they might get close to a safe word.
So it's not too often when that does happen, but it certainly
has happened. Of course I'm not immune to it
and and it's not necessarily a bad thing when people are
calling their safe word you. Actually, it's a good thing when
that happens because it means that they're feeling like they
can trust you enough to openly communicate and be like, oh, we
just passed the line, let me call that safe word.
Whereas a lot of times when they don't feel safe, they won't use
their safe word. And that is really unfortunate
when that happens. And I have heard a lot of
stories about things like that happening.
So that's one of the things that I try to foster here when people
are in the dungeon is please, if we get close to your limit,
communicate that to me. If you need to use your safe
word, please scream it out. I'm OK with that.
I'm not going to get mad. Do you have conversations
afterwards after somebody tells you you know they're safe word
or whatever? Do you then have to have a
conversation where you're like, OK, what part of this is
something that you're not into, and is there something that
you're wanting me to do differently?
Or do you just stop that activity entirely and move on to
something different? So depending on the situation
and where the safe word was called and which safe word, if
they've called their ultimate like I've called red, the scene
is just over and we stopped the scene.
If they've called yellow, usually we'll just back off and
we'll move on to something else. And then we'll have the
conversation afterwards during the aftercare part where we're
we're talking and we're decompressing and we're
processing. But that's after I've taken care
of their other needs first, their emotional needs, their
immediate physical needs and things you want to let them kind
of come down and process before you even think about asking
questions about things like that.
But yeah, you absolutely will go and process through every single
thing in the scene. If they need to process through
those things, especially if a safe word was called, you really
want to find out where that. And usually when a safe word is
called, it's that an impact was a little bit too hard.
It just it just passed the limit that they hadn't quite gotten to
yet. Maybe their skin wasn't quite
warmed up enough, something like that.
I don't typically get to a safe forward limit being called where
it's. It was an unexpected thing that
happened in a scene that caused them to call the safe board,
because I do very thorough negotiations beforehand, so I
usually will know what they're OK with and not OK with on a
pretty deep level. So usually a safe word for me
being called is more just like a pressure thing or a sensation
that maybe they didn't, they didn't quite enjoy as much as
they thought they did or something like that.
Or sometimes they might have just gotten overwhelmed with
sensations. I have a lot of so spicy people
come in here, so sometimes the they can get really overwhelmed
with the stimulation and all of the different sensations
happening at once. So sometimes they do want to
stop a little bit early if they're getting a little bit
overwhelmed. But usually we can get to the
point where the sensations are actually calming and letting
them to, letting them push past some limits and boundaries and
see how far they can actually push their body and their mind
to open up at which whereas they typically would not be able to
do that in any other kind of space.
So this is kind of like sex therapy?
It's a lot like sex therapy. It's like sex therapy and kink
therapy all rolled into one. It's exercises and trust.
It's exercises in pain tolerance.
It's exercises in exploring things you never even knew
existed. It's it's so many things, so
many different types of therapy. I.
Have a trigger warning question. People who have been sexually
assaulted that want to explore the lifestyle or had been forced
into lifestyle at a young age, I know that that affects people's
brain differently. I know that I was groomed and
taken advantage of, you know, at a very young age as well, 12
years old. So that changes your brain
chemistry to be more boy or girl alert or more hormone alert or
more aware of sensations that you weren't aware of could be
fulfilled. How do you think that affects
people who join the lifestyle? Or how do you think that pushes
people naturally towards a lifestyle because of the
exploration they've experienced as a child?
That's an interesting question. I feel like a lot of people who
have experienced some kind of sexual assault or any kind of
trauma like that, who end up in the lifestyle are doing so
because they are trying to heal that part of their child, their
inner child that was harmed back then.
They are definitely looking for protection.
They are looking for somebody that they can trust they are
looking for. A lot of times, for me in
particular, I end up being a mommy Dom to a lot of people.
I'm healing inner children of my submissives that come to me and
I am also healing inner child, the inner child of myself
because I also had a lot of trauma relating to my parents
and my mother especially, and my father especially both of them.
So I can speak to that, that personally myself.
I am in kink because I am healing all of the pieces of me
that not. They're not broken, but they are
pieces that I have not allowed to come to the surface.
They are pieces that I have allowed to be suppressed.
And I was told that I was bad and dirty and that I was a liar
and it never happened and whatever, whatever, whatever,
right. So I am now able to.
Come to terms with all of the things that happened to me and
the people that were so toxic in my life that I never got a great
mom, I never got a great dad. Whatever.
The problem is, I can now be that great mom.
I can be that great dad because I am mommy and I am daddy, so I
can use kink to heal myself. And I have healed so much trauma
through kink, it's ridiculous. The people that have come to me
that have had the sexual trauma, the sexual assault, the mommy
issues, the daddy issues that are now able to cuddle up in my
arms after I've kicked their fucking ass in the dungeon just
like mommy and Daddy used to do. But I did it in a way that was
allowing them to move, allowing them to laugh, allowing them to
cry. I did it in a way where my magic
hooked into that bullshit trauma that they had from their
childhood and rip that trauma out of their soul and threw that
fucking shit away after transmuting it to be able to be
used by the universe. This is how kink heals for me.
This is how heels for the people that come here.
These are the types of people that find me here at the
Queensland. These are the people that come
here that need to be healed, that have these experiences in
their past, that now need to be able to have that safe place.
To experience sex in a positive way.
To experience being able to be shoved in a cage in a positive
way. To experience being able to be
choked in a positive way. To be experienced being able to
be fucked in the ass by daddy in a positive way.
Right. All of these things that they
were traumatized with as a child that they want to get past and
they want to learn how to enjoy again so that their joy and
their life and their experiences aren't stolen from them so that
they can live their best life Now that's that's what kink can
do for people. Oh, that got a little deep.
That was not on the question. The pre question list ma'am.
That was just something that came to my mind because I was
thinking in my head, like for healing purposes internally.
Like, you know, because when you're abused or you're taking
advantage of in ways that take away your innocence or or
manipulate you, you know, like it's just a different experience
than not everyone has. And that's good, you know, like
not everyone knows what that feels like.
But for those that do, I was just wanting to point out that I
was feeling the calling to not necessarily we won't put it into
the lifestyle category, but to just the exploration in general
towards learning, absorbing, experiencing things that are
taboo, right, or are, you know, put, put on the table and it's
like, Oh no, but don't look at it, don't touch it, It's back.
Like, here it is. Yeah, it's here.
But don't, don't mess with it. You know, Like, there's so much
stigma around it, right? Like that's what.
I yeah. There really is what I was
thinking too while you were talking and then just like
piggyback off of page a little bit.
I'm so curious if when you're doing that aftercare part are
there and you're talking about like, you know, emotions that
may have come up during the session or whatnot.
I I assume it's something that you discussed.
Are there feelings of like, feeling embarrassed or or
feeling ashamed or guilty? Because now you know, it's one
thing to have it inside of your mind and then it's another thing
to like act that out, have that experience or whatnot, and to
know that somebody else knows. So do you have a lot of working
through those emotions with this type of play as well?
So by the time we've gotten to the point where we're acting out
their scenes and then we're getting to the aftercare part,
the guilt and the shame and stuff, that's all gone.
So they've worked through that. We've already talked about their
scene. We've already talked about their
situation. We've probably done a little bit
of hypnotherapy beforehand if it's a really shameful,
traumatic, triggery type of thing that we're going to be
working through. So there's not going to be a lot
of that. Recently I did kind of a Mama
trauma scene, which is just like that.
They were working through their Mama trauma and they had a lot
of guilt and shame around a lot of the things that they were
feeling and and wanting to experience.
And I kind of wondered the same thing, like during the
aftercare, are we going to come up against those again?
Because they were already dealing with the guilt and the
shame. And when the aftercare came
around, it was laughter. It was crying, happy tears of
laughter and just joyful release.
It was the biggest one of the biggest releases that I've seen.
And there was no more joy or normal, normal shame, no more
guilt, none of those awful feelings that the person had
been saddled with before the session and afterwards.
It was just like they were just light and airy and floaty.
And we were talking a little bit later about it.
And I said, you know, how did you feel about that?
You know, Were you feeling the guilt and the shame as we were
working through that? They said no, it was so good to
be able to just freely open up and do those things and say
those things and know that nobody was gonna come at me and
be like, Oh my God, I can't believe you did that and said
that they just, they were there and they were fully trusting in
the process while we were there. So the shame of the guilt wasn't
there during the scene. So they didn't feel the need to
feel that guilt and shame afterwards because they
processed through it and they let it go.
There was nothing to be shameful of.
There was nothing to be guilty about.
It's all about accepting those things that are deep inside of
you. It's that existential kink,
right? It's accepting those dark
places, those dark of yourself, as you know what, This isn't
bad. This isn't good.
This just is. This is me.
It's all a part of me. And being able to share the bad
part of me, it's just the dark part of me.
That's OK, That's OK. Being able to share that with
somebody who isn't going to give you any kind of judgment, shame,
anything like that is so freeing to people that they are able to
finally let the guilt and the shame just go.
And it doesn't typically come back, at least from what I've
experienced. So would you say that, like most
people, before exploring the lifestyle, either try to watch
it on like Pornhub or try to like find some only fans, you
know, niche markets? Like would you say that they're
exploring by watching others, maybe more?
Like they haven't experienced what they want?
Because I've known, and this is kind of weird, but I've known,
like certain men to like certain types of porn.
But, like, I know damn well they're not doing that in the
bedroom. Yeah.
Like, that's just an experience. This is me asking like a a
dumbfound question. Just like your opinion.
Obviously there's no fact of that.
I mean, people watch what they want, but like, I know, like
when I watch porn, which is rare, it's always girl on girl
or like lesbian or like solo amateur.
Like, not any production. No extra talking.
Put your ass in the shower and shut the fuck up.
I don't want to hear you all talk.
I don't care what you're talking like, you know what I mean?
Like, I like, I need action. And like, entrance.
I need something that hooks me. And not just, like, straight to
it. Some chemistry needs to be there
for me, but for guys, especially guys that I've dated, I know
like a lot of them. And this is like, stereotypical
in a way. They like to watch black guys
with like, monster Dicks. Fuck white girls.
And I don't know what it is about white guys liking that
type of porn. This is me stereotyping people.
Updated. But what the fuck is that?
You're not wrong. There's a lot of that.
Honestly, that's just so much race play that happens all over
the place. It's everywhere, it really is.
And I think that a lot of the people that are new to the
lifestyle, they come to it from movies like 50 Shades of Grey
and those types of things that just kind of stereotype the kink
industry as a whole. A lot of them come to it from
that type of a thing. There's now a ton of TV shows
about kink and dominatrixes and there's there's so many things
now it's getting so much more popular in the mainstream.
But porn wise, yeah, for sure. I think that a lot of the dudes
for sure find it on Pornhub or I mean anywhere that there is that
type of thing. Female femdom stuff is huge
anymore. The women that come here don't
typically watch that type of porn.
They're watching the homemade shit, like the stuff that me and
my husband and my Subs make and we toss out there like the
homemade, like real. We don't do the editing like any
of that stuff, right? We don't have half the time
lighting. I mean, 90% of the time we don't
have lighting. Whatever, it's fine.
That's the kind of stuff that the women are watching that are
coming to me. That's the kind of stuff that I
watch. I I go on there and I'm looking
for like couples like me and my hubs.
I'm looking for chicks with trans Subs, like the things that
I'm interested in. That's what I'm looking for.
But I want the homemade movies. I don't want the porn shit so.
Yeah, I love that all of this is going mainstream.
One thing I did watch on Netflix was like the making a sex room
show and that really would be in like that hooked me in into like
I had no idea there was something like electric play
where they like ZAP you with the zapper and shit like put that
zapper inside you and whatever. I did not know that that.
So I started getting a little exposure to like new ideas.
And then my friend who lives out in California, she has always
been in the sex work industry because of the way she was
brought up. Her mom is also like a Dom and a
sex coach and so she grew up like she told me that first time
she saw porn she was like 5 years old.
And that's fucked up in my. Yeah, but the stuff she was like
exposed to as a child, like it's it was wild.
So she always, she literally has always done like the phone sex
work where she's like girl I'm cleaning my dishes I'll be
washing my car like and I'm. She's so good at it though like
they have no idea that she's just not even there, you know.
But I mean such as yourself, once you become professional and
this is your thing, like you got your your skills and you're
putting them out there, you know?
No, it's hanging up somewhere. I'm not sure where it's.
At. I was going to show you my I
have the Electro zapper stuff. I was going to show it to you,
but I'm not sure where it went at the moment.
Let's go ahead and break for Part 2.