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Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, 
hosted by Rampage and Gemini. 

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Welcome back to another episode 
of Lick It Like a Lollipop. 

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Tonight is really special. 
We have a guest and we know that

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we haven't been having guests, 
but now we're only bringing bad 

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ass people on. 
So Jim and I, do you want to 

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introduce our guest tonight? 
Yes. 

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So first of all, our guest 
tonight is Barbie. 

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Welcome to Lick It Like A 
Lollipop. 

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I'm so excited. 
I'm so excited. 

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So I've been a long time 
follower of yours and recently I

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saw you do a clap back kind of 
thing in a post on Instagram 

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because somebody was talking to 
you and your messages about I 

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think it was like you're not 
responding quick enough or 

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wanted something from you. 
And I commented on that post and

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was like, as somebody who has 
followed you for so long, I've 

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literally never thought to even 
like message and bother you or 

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be like you don't respond quick 
enough. 

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And then that turned the light 
bulb on and I'm like, why the 

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fuck haven't I messaged her and 
bother her? 

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We need her on the podcast. 
I. 

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Appreciate it. 
Yeah. 

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I know people. 
People like to demand my time 

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and I try and they take 
advantage of it because I try to

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talk to everybody. 
I really do like I spend so much

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time going through everything, 
trying to respond. 

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And then if I like, open it 
because I have ADHD two. 

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So I'll open it and I'm like, oh
wait, what's over here? 

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And then I forget for like 30 
minutes, like they yell at me 

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and I'm like, I'm sorry. 
That's like the blessing. 

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And the curse though of being 
like somebody who is a social 

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media like influencer or content
creator though is because you 

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build your brand, being so 
personal with people. 

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And we've experienced this on 
like a low scale for now. 

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I feel like is like people see 
access to your life and then 

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they're like, I know everything 
about you, so I'm your best 

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friend and you're like, I don't 
fucking know you. 

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Right, right. 
The entire of the Internet is 

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like, it's such a weird place to
be because it's like when you do

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share a lot people think they 
know you, know you, and then 

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when you do something that they 
don't believe is your character,

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then they're like, why are you 
doing that? 

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Or why are you talking to that 
person? 

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And it's like you don't fucking 
know me. 

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Oh yeah, no, they come in hot. 
They come in hot, especially. 

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I started my social media 
journey a completely different 

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person that I am now today. 
And like people were so used to 

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like the really cute, like girl 
next door. 

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I wasn't covered in tattoos. 
Like, look, I had a company make

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a hoodie out of me and I said 
America's Barbie. 

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Like they like I was like 
supposed to be this sweet 

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hometown, cute little girl. 
And then I was like, I was so 

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over this. 
I hate it. 

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Like it's just gross. 
It's not me. 

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And then I changed and then 
every. 

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Everybody who thought they knew 
me over the past year and a 

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half, they were like, Oh my God,
she's a baby eating devil 

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worshipper. 
And like people were like 

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messaging, like companies and 
other people doing podcasts with

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saying like, hey, be careful of 
her. 

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She's a devil worshipper and she
eats babies and don't work with 

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her. 
And have you see what she looks 

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like? 
And I'm like, Oh my God, like 

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because I wore tattoos and black
lipstick. 

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Like, calm down. 
I would love to see you do a 

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photo shoot of you having like a
newborn baby cake and have it 

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like bloody and shit. 
Like I'm all about you profiting

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off of the shit that people 
talk. 

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And I think that would be so 
fucking hot. 

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Like in a weird way. 
I think that would be hot. 

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Oh yeah, my blood photo shoot 
that I just did where I was like

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basically nude covered in blood.
I lost 2000 followers. 

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Oh my God, they lost their 
minds. 

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The message I would get from 
that and like, help. 

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I was like, yo, it first of all 
it's spooky season for one. 

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Like Halloween isn't supposed to
always just be cute. 

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Like it's supposed to be scary 
and keep you on edge and be like

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what the hell? 
And I'm like, dude, whatever, 

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like it's badass like bye, get 
off my page see you later. 

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Because it's like, this was hot 
like. 

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Let's speak about. 
Walmart not printing your 

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photos. 
From the photo shoot I've been. 

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Following your stories and you 
were like Walmart won't print my

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photos, but now the manager 
called me and said they printed 

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my photos. 
So what was up with that? 

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So OK. 
Like, I can literally. 

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Like I can grab literally right 
here on my wall, but. 

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I was trying to print photos I 
have and it's my office. 

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It may sound vain, I don't care.
I have like one of every of my 

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favorite photos printed in like 
an 11 by 14 and I put them on a 

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wall right behind my computer. 
I love it. 

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Some of them, a lot of them are 
a lot of boudoir photos or like 

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I have one of my bloody ones 
printed out, things like that. 

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And. 
I hadn't gotten photos from that

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Walmart like a million times. 
Walgreens never had an issue and

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I printed out I think 7 photos 
and it was like a couple of 

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them. 
Series 122 boudoir. 

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One in those really pretty 
classy black gowns. 

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One in a bikini, No2 in a bikini
and then a bloody one. 

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OK, so just three maybe if he 
wants, but I've already done it 

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before. 
So I get this text message 

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saying hey, your order's ready 
for pick up. 

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So I hit the kids in the car. 
I'm all excited, finished at my 

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wall. 
And I go there and I'm like, 

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hey, I'm here to pick up my 
photos. 

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And the girl goes, the posters. 
And I was like, yeah, the 

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posters. 
I was like, it's under Brittany,

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like, can you give me my 
posters? 

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And she was like, oh, we didn't 
print those. 

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And I said, oh, it said it was 
ready. 

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Like, how much longer I can 
browse Walmart, like, you know, 

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no big deal. 
She goes, no, like, we didn't 

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print them. 
And I was like, no, I understand

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that. 
But like, just tell me how long.

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30 minutes. 
Like, it's Walmart. 

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There's a million things to look
at. 

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And she was like, no, like, 
we're not going to print them. 

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And I was like. 
Then why does it say that it's 

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ready? 
And like, she was like, let me 

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see. 
And I showed her and she was 

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like, yeah, I don't know, but 
you broke our policies. 

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We're not printing your photos. 
And I was like, Oh my God, I was

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like, OK, I mean, I guess, like,
cool, Like, how do I get a 

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refund then? 
And she was like, I don't know, 

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I suppose they caught somebody 
else over there, like, you have 

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to go to customer service and 
then they have to approve it and

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blah, blah, blah. 
So I shoot over to customer 

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service. 
I deal with all that. 

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They finally issued me my 
refund. 

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I'm like, whatever I start so I 
go to Walgreens. 

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I reprint the photos but take 
the ones that I thought were the

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iffy ones out and I print seven 
more photos at Walgreens. 2 days

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later I get a phone call and it 
says Walmart and I'm like, I'm 

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not going to answer the phone 
for like a photo of this is 

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Walmart like they're not scary? 
Well she left me a voicemail and

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she was like, hi, this is the 
manager came over at Walmart in 

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Lake Worth. 
I if you picked up your photos 

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or not from the other day and I 
was like. 

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Why is she asking about that? 
So I got, like, concerned, like,

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what did they do with my photos?
So I called her back and she 

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pretty much gave me the spiel of
I'm going to print them. 

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I'm speaking to the employee who
didn't break any policies. 

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Come right now before anybody 
else comes and I'll have your 

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photos ready. 
So I shoot over there and I get 

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that she she goes, yeah. 
So the girl who was printed 

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them, like, I'm gonna have a 
talk with her, he didn't break 

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anything. 
And people had overheard her 

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talking and it seems like it was
a jealousy issue as to why she 

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wouldn't print your photos. 
And I was like. 

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What? 
Are you serious? 

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I was like, there's well, see, 
and people were in my DMS. 

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They were like, oh, was some 
jealous girl who didn't want to 

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pray. 
And I was like, no, there's no 

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way. 
I was like, Are you sure? 

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I was like, I was kind of, like,
naked, covered in blood, like, 

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there's some good wrong. 
I I was trying to like, defend 

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the girl who told me no because 
I didn't want to believe it. 

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And she was like, no, honey, 
there's no part showing. 

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She's like, you didn't break any
policies. 

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If there's no reason they should
have been printed besides the 

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fact that there was some 
jealousy issues here. 

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And we really apologize for 
that. 

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And I was like, Oh my God, I 
never, I'd never heard that 

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happen. 
So it was wild. 

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Also, get the fuck out of my 
business and print the fucking 

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photos that I told you to print 
and don't look at the pictures 

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and you won't have to worry 
about even if your pussy was 

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white out popping. 
Well, I was very confident. 

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She was like, no, I'm going 
through your photos right now 

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and there's nothing. 
I'm like, Oh my God, you just 

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out here looking at my photos. 
Like, what if I was? 

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What if I was out here, this 
pussy popping, and you're just 

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like, no, you're OK, babe. 
You're good. 

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I will recommend Vistaprint 
online. 

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I've printed nude photos through
Vistaprint and they have never 

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had an issue. 
I mean, it's an online thing, 

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but you can literally get your 
photos printed on mugs. 

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Fucking anything you want. 
Like you can actually get real 

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life posters if you wanted to 
sign them. 

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Vista Print is where it's 
fucking at. 

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This is not an endorsement. 
You get all kinds of comments 

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though on your I know on your 
TikTok specifically, I've seen 

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comments about like will you get
work done. 

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So the only reason that you're 
pretty is because like you've 

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had like work done. 
Question What work have you had 

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done? 
Because a bitch is curious. 

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So I have had, and this is a 
weird one, I got my lips done 

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for the first time, but I only 
didn't have a syringe. 

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So 1/4 syringe at the top, 
quarter syringe at the bottom. 

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So literally almost nothing. 
I just want a nice plumper lip. 

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Like I just wanted that, that 
bold glamour oomph, you know 

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what I mean? 
I've had two boob jobs and I've 

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had two BBLS with the Lipo 360. 
What is 2 BBLS? 

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In sale though, because like I 
have a life threatening surgery 

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and I can't imagine doing it 
twice. 

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So I need to know why did my 
time not do what you needed it 

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to do. 
So I was terrified that I was 

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going to look like an aunt, like
you see these girls who get 

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these BBLS and they. 
Over fucking do it. 

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And I was so scared that I was 
going to hum the legs of this 

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big old bubble butt. 
So my first PBLI went and I told

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my doctor and I said make me 
like I was like I want a cute 

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like a petite PBL. 
I want like a bubble butt And my

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doctor goes, you want like a 
sporty mom? 

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I said boom, that right there. 
That's what I want. 

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Love it. 
I got it. 

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I love the results. 
I really did that. 

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My butt was way better than what
I used to have. 

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Way better. 
But I wanted more. 

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I mean, once you start plastic 
surgery or changing your 

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features, it's kind of like the 
piercings and tattoos. 

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It's so fucking addictive. 
And I ended up getting AB 

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etching with my first one, which
is where they go in and they 

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take your fat and they mold it 
to look like ABS in your 

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stomach. 
And at first it looks really 

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good. 
But if you gain weight with the 

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AB etching, your stomach looks 
wild. 

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It looks crazy. 
It doesn't look good. 

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It's not cute. 
So I wanted to get that taken 

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away too. 
So I went back. 

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I actually just had it done, the
second one in July, and I had 

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them take away the AB etching. 
I did a lot more liposuction in 

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my back and then I had them 
focus on my hips and my upper 

223
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,440
butt to kind of like shelf it 
and widen it. 

224
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,200
I saw your before and after. 
So that's when. 

225
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,320
And I. 
The reason that I paused by the 

226
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,480
way when I asked you or when 
after you said that you had the 

227
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,840
two BBLS is because I looked at 
Rampage's face. 

228
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,000
Because when we were talking 
about having you on, I was like 

229
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,680
these are the facts that I know.
And I said I'm pretty sure that 

230
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:50,720
she just had a second BBL and 
she's like what would you do too

231
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,560
for I'm like, I don't know. 
We got to ask her so. 

232
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,440
What a lot of people don't tell 
you. 

233
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,360
I would a lot of girls did not 
And that's the thing that's why 

234
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,960
I think people get pissed off is
because I'm so open with my 

235
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:05,040
plastic surgery. 
Like I do not care like A1 body 

236
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,240
image wise I did not have a nice
body. 

237
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,360
Well in my mind right I'm not I 
don't want to body shame anybody

238
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,400
because I was built like I had 
literally completely flat 

239
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,320
chested. 
No hips, no, but I was a little 

240
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,040
stick. 
I was a stick and. 

241
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,000
I tell people all the time. 
One the reason I'm so open about

242
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,480
it is because I don't want 
another woman to look at me and 

243
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,440
go, God, I wish I could just 
naturally achieve that because I

244
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,640
couldn't naturally achieve it. 
Like that's fucked up to put it 

245
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,360
out there, like, oh this is 
natural and you can work out and

246
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,800
get this. 
I fucking couldn't. 

247
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,360
I've tried all the workouts. 
There's no way, there's no way. 

248
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,760
And a lot of girls lie, but a 
Round 2 BBL is so fucking 

249
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,920
common. 
It is so common, but girls hide 

250
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,800
it because they don't want to 
have the stigma that they keep 

251
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,960
going back for all this. 
This lipo section, the fat 

252
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,440
transfers, all of that. 
But I'll show you if you guys 

253
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,560
want to see like exclusive 
literally never been posted on 

254
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,960
the Internet, I will show you my
before before photo. 

255
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,040
Like before any surgeries. 
And then you guys are going to 

256
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,640
be like, there ain't no fucking 
way that's the same girl. 

257
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,440
And I swear to God, you guys are
going to be like, ain't no way 

258
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,960
do you look like the little girl
next door in the pictures too. 

259
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,560
Because I'm so curious at what 
that face looks like. 

260
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:22,200
Oh yeah, my little no tattoo. 
Look, yes, I do have those. 

261
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,840
So I will say here's, here's the
thing. 

262
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,520
And. 
It's like I really hope I don't.

263
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,640
I'm I'm Mexican and Cuban so I 
feel like sometimes I can say 

264
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,920
things and then I forget that it
may affect people but like I had

265
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,840
the Mexican build the if I 
gained weight it was all upper 

266
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,480
body. 
No hips no butt no legs. 

267
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:46,160
That is how my body was pre even
the first BBL. 

268
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:50,800
So my very first ever one and my
butt crack shows Internet get 

269
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,480
over it. 
It's a butt crack if they get 

270
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,240
all mad about it. 
But this is literally my before 

271
00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,720
before, so everybody asked to 
see that. 

272
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,240
That doesn't even look like you.
Like what I've seen of you. 

273
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,600
That doesn't look like you. 
It's the fact that the roses 

274
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,240
take up my whole butt cheek 
originally and now my tattoo 

275
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,600
roses are like just on the top 
of my butt with my new one. 

276
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,760
So like you can see, I had no 
hips. 

277
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,160
I was. 
I like no, nothing. 

278
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,400
No. 
But no hips. 

279
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,560
Anything. 
And like I tried like my mom's a

280
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,440
Pearl bikini bodybuilder. 
I tried all of her workouts. 

281
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,800
So like get a butt. 
I was like doing that macros 

282
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,120
weighing out my food. 
Like I was doing it. 

283
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,880
I was trying. 
There was no way genetically 

284
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,800
there was no way for me to get 
hips. 

285
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,080
Like I already had two kids. 
If I was going to have hips it 

286
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,200
would already happened. 
But no. 

287
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,600
And not give it to me. 
But with the BBL, like I've 

288
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,280
heard that once you get surgery 
like that, then it's like really

289
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,640
hard for you to like lose 
weight. 

290
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,560
And then if you gain it, it's 
like double time to lose it 

291
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:02,080
back, 'cause one of my friends 
got a BBL and she doesn't listen

292
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,280
to the podcast, so I don't 
really care. 

293
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:07,720
She's gained like 70 or 80 lbs 
since getting the BBL, and now 

294
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,520
she just looks. 
Big. 

295
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,280
And I don't mean that in a like 
a mean way, but she had her back

296
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,320
so thin and snatched and her 
hips were so wide. 

297
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:20,560
Kind of like how Kim Kardashian 
in the beginning of her BBL 

298
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:25,000
phase, her butt was massive but 
her back waist was so snatched 

299
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,640
and now everything is like 
widened out and she's like, I'm 

300
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,800
so sick and disgusted with 
myself and like. 

301
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,640
To her defence, she got in a car
wreck and couldn't work out and 

302
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,440
you know had some issues and got
surgeries and so like, I'm not 

303
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,920
shaming her, but I'm just saying
that like I see her going back 

304
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:46,320
for round two, but round one she
had a massive infection that 

305
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,640
like incisions and like really 
almost made her body septic. 

306
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,720
So I'm like scared to do that. 
But I've heard, and I know I've 

307
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,400
heard Bunny speak on this, that 
like once you get a BBL or you 

308
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,000
start doing fat transfer, your 
body holds. 

309
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,160
Onto it like like glue. 
Is that true? 

310
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,480
So what I've noticed is, see, 
and I was under the impression 

311
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,720
almost of like the reverse, 
right when I got my first BBL, 

312
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,840
they were like what I had read I
should say was where you get 

313
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,080
liposuction, it's really hard 
for fat to come back to that 

314
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,120
area. 
But where your new fat is, you 

315
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,320
can gain a lot of weight there. 
So be careful. 

316
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,360
Watch this, watch that. 
Yeah, that's not the case. 

317
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,160
Fat comes back. 
Easier even in the liposuction 

318
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,360
areas. 
And I feel like for me, even 

319
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:40,320
with the fat transfer, even if I
gained weight, my body still is 

320
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:44,800
genetically prone to gain weight
upper body and no lower body. 

321
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:52,400
So I right now actually I've 
probably put on about 10 lbs 

322
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,960
since my Round 2 BBL just in 
July alone. 

323
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,440
Where when I first came off the 
table, on the operating table, 

324
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,680
even with the swelling from the 
BBL and the liposuction, I was 

325
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:06,800
snatched. 
Like you could see hip bone, you

326
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,359
could see like my upper rib 
cage, like they took every shred

327
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,319
of fat that they could out of 
me. 

328
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,480
It's all back and it's because I
stopped. 

329
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,880
Once I got past the six week 
mark, I stopped eating healthy. 

330
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,880
I just kind of went back to my 
normal life. 

331
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,119
And it does. 
It packs right back on. 

332
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:27,599
Right, back on. 
And the scary part about it is 

333
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,440
if you have a lot of plastic 
surgery, I'm be very honest, I 

334
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,320
have bought dysmorphia like no 
one's business. 

335
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,800
Like no one's business. 
There's a reason I keep going 

336
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:39,000
back and adjusting things. 
But when you gain the weight 

337
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,240
after liposuction, you kind of 
get like that liposuction 

338
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,280
looking tummy, if that makes 
sense. 

339
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,120
The very. 
Exhibited almost like you can 

340
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:51,280
see like the canula marks like 
the lines that went under your 

341
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,720
skin because you do have a lot 
of scar tissue now and 

342
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,560
especially going in there twice 
and liposuction in the same 

343
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,840
areas, the scar tissue is crazy.
So the more weight I gain, like 

344
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,560
I have a giant like scar tissue 
ball like on the side of my 

345
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,280
belly button. 
So, like, the more weight I 

346
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,800
gain, as weird as it sounds, it 
kind of like pushes that scar so

347
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,560
that I have like, this kind of 
weird, funky little ball by my 

348
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,200
belly button that I'm like, no, 
OK, we got to go back to eating 

349
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:20,200
healthy now This isn't it. 
See, these are like the 

350
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,840
conversations that by you being 
so open and honest about a 

351
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,360
journey that you're having, you 
get to touch on these topics 

352
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,640
that like, just do not get 
discussed. 

353
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,480
And I know that, you know, there
is like so much shame when it 

354
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,800
comes to social media and stuff.
We talked about MKA minute ago, 

355
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,320
but like you know, for years and
years and years, her whole 

356
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,960
career it's been, I didn't get 
any work done well. 

357
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:47,880
Baby when we when we look and we
see that now you're like tiny 

358
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,400
toned little but like you got 
real baby cottage cheesy for a 

359
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,400
minute. 
We know that like you you had 

360
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,640
worked at like just don't lie 
about it you know don't make it 

361
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,360
like AI think there were 
episodes where she like got her 

362
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:04,160
ass X-rayed and was like see 
it's real and I'm like it could 

363
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,960
really be your fat injected in 
your booty like we're not dumb. 

364
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:14,680
I also too and Rampage knows 
about this I recently went into 

365
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:19,560
this place that does. 
So basically you're awake and 

366
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,720
they numb you but they can do 
fat removal while you're awake 

367
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:30,240
and the place is called Bella. 
Oh shit. 

368
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,000
Sona Bella. 
No, it's like Bella Medical. 

369
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,120
I think it's called Bella 
Medical or something like that. 

370
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,680
And I went in there and what 
let. 

371
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,600
Me just say one thing, why is 
every plastic surgery place go 

372
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,320
by the name Bella? 
Because literally the place I 

373
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,400
got my live son goes by Bella 
and I'm just computer. 

374
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,440
So I just want to add that so 
it's like beautiful and Italian 

375
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:58,520
or something and so it's like 
the thing that's like related to

376
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:03,680
like beauty or whatever. 
But I I went in there and I was 

377
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,520
just thinking, like, I really 
basically, like, wanted lipo, 

378
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,080
right? 
And I knew that this was going 

379
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,160
to be more affordable. 
You're awake. 

380
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,520
There's less, like, cutting 
open. 

381
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,080
You're not going on her 
anesthesia. 

382
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,840
And when I was in her office, 
she's like, OK, so like, I'm 

383
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,520
going to, you know, pull up your
shirt and I'm going to look here

384
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,320
or whatever. 
And she's like, Oh well if 

385
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,320
you're going to do your tummy 
then we're going to need to not 

386
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,520
only do your bottom stomach, but
we're going to need to do your 

387
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,200
top because the tops going to 
look really weird if we only do 

388
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,240
the bottom and then we need to 
do the love handles and you know

389
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,920
that back fat that everybody 
gets like around their. 

390
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,160
Bra. 
The bra roll. 

391
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,640
It's called the bra roll. 
I had that. 

392
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:45,840
Well this is like the lady, like
picking apart and then she's 

393
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,040
like and if we're going to do 
the top we need to do the 

394
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,480
bottom. 
Because if you're really 

395
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,480
snatched on top but your body, 
your the bottom half isn't 

396
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,880
shapely. 
And then she's like I down to we

397
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,320
need to remove fat from the 
backs of your knees. 

398
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:05,080
Like, I left this place and I 
was crying and I I literally on 

399
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,160
my vlog on my Patreon, I was 
crying that night like 

400
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:13,080
hyperventilating and was like, 
you go somewhere because you're 

401
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,960
like, oh, like I want to see 
like how to like enhance things 

402
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,080
that I like about myself and 
maybe change something and 

403
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,680
people don't talk about these 
things. 

404
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,640
So you go in and it's just 
doctors completely shaming you. 

405
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:25,760
You know what I mean? 
Like, yeah. 

406
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,720
Oh, so I'm literally going and I
recommended somebody to my own 

407
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,960
personal doctor. 
I've never met this girl in my 

408
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,840
life in person. 
I've never met her. 

409
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,960
I'm going with her to her BBL 
consultation. 

410
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,640
Because she wanted somebody 
there as a reinforcement. 

411
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,160
I've never met her in my life, 
but I'm going to go because that

412
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,280
type of experience. 
Now, I wouldn't expect that from

413
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,840
my doctor. 
But let me just tell you, my 

414
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,960
doctor rolled out and said they 
were doing that awake lipo stuff

415
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:56,320
and I asked about it. 
Apparently Awake lipo is way it 

416
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,120
has way more problems. 
It has. 

417
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,800
It's a lot riskier. 
And it costs a lot more money, 

418
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,680
apparently, than regular 
liposuction. 

419
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,040
Because I had asked my doctor 
and I was like, what is this 

420
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,640
awake LIFO everybody's talking 
about? 

421
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:13,400
And she was like, we offer it, 
but like here like she was 

422
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,320
straight up. 
She was like, I I think you 

423
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,360
should just be put on there. 
It's way safer, it's easier, 

424
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:21,880
it's faster and it costs less. 
Like I get it like. 

425
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,160
To be awake, you feel like it's 
a quick, easy procedure and I 

426
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,960
think that's how they're doing 
it, but they're still going in. 

427
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:32,760
I actually have a video posted 
on my TikTok of the canola under

428
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,520
my skin and how aggressive they 
go in there, and I'm sorry, I 

429
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,240
would not. 
I would not want to be awake for

430
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,600
that. 
That is scary, babe. 

431
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,160
That is scary, he said. 
That it was so. 

432
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,600
I don't know what it's like when
you get a regular one. 

433
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,760
And I've seen, like, the surgeon
shows, so I know they're like, 

434
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,320
fucking shanking you under the 
flesh. 

435
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,280
But this one, she was like the 
needles, like really thin or 

436
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,000
whatever. 
And so in my mind, I was just 

437
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,640
imagining, like, this thin 
little needle taking forever to,

438
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,920
like, suck the fat out of my 
abdomen. 

439
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,520
But maybe I'll tell you that 
this bitch quoted me. 

440
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,280
She was like, we'll take $3000 
off if you're getting three or 

441
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,800
more areas. 
So it's only going to be 8500. 

442
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,400
And I was like, oh, OK, OK, let.
Me. 

443
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,440
Let me What? 
No. 

444
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,680
No, absolutely not. 
That isn't. 

445
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:28,640
He broke a real fucking because 
I'll be there tomorrow. 

446
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:34,520
Look, my doctor, my first BBL. 
So my first BBL was Lipo 360 and

447
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,440
we added the upper bra rule that
she was talking about. 

448
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,200
But see, you don't have to be a 
Dick about it like you don't. 

449
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,280
I'm that drives me insane. 
Like just like you said, I'm 

450
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,000
coming in because I want to 
adjust things to enhance what I 

451
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,280
know is there. 
Why are you going to go in 

452
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,840
there? 
And then ridicule and be like, 

453
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,960
well, what about this this this 
this this. 

454
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,440
That is the most disrespectful. 
Like automatically I would have 

455
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,600
been like and I would never get 
worth done by you guys because 

456
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,720
that's like the same kind of 
doctor that while you're under 

457
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,160
the knife, if you were getting 
boobs, like she should be bigger

458
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,880
and we just go bigger without 
your knowledge. 

459
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,720
Like, it's just that's gross. 
I don't like that. 

460
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,680
Like, that's a red flag to me. 
Like, be careful, but my first 

461
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:20,600
video was 4500. 
And or 5000 because I added the 

462
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,320
upper bra row for an additional 
500 for that area. 

463
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:28,800
My second BBLI added a lot, a 
lot, a lot of lipo areas. 

464
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,640
So that BBLI want to say was 
around 8000. 

465
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,160
But that was literally 
liposuctioning everything I 

466
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,680
possibly could on my torso. 
So it wasn't just the basic Lipo

467
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,680
360. 
I added probably about seven 

468
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,600
areas to get all that done, but 
then with the fat transfer. 

469
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,680
And then even my breast implant 
replacement that was only like 

470
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,920
6000. 
Well, so now I know it's 

471
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,120
cheaper. 
You better watch out. 

472
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,240
I'm about to be a brand new 
fucking woman by 2020. 

473
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,280
You look like I will help you. 
I'll walk you through all the 

474
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:04,600
thefts. 
I feel bad because I always tell

475
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,040
people like be careful, think 
about it before you plastic 

476
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,760
surgery, think about it. 
But then when they're doing 

477
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,920
that, I'm like, no, let me help 
you. 

478
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,320
You know, I think that people in
the generation like follow body 

479
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,920
trends and I think that's the 
most damaging thing about 

480
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:25,440
plastic surgery is like the body
trend of like Kardashian. 

481
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,520
I'm just going to keep talking 
about her, not that I like her, 

482
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,760
but just because she was kind of
the staple in the like movement.

483
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:36,440
And I feel like then she goes 
back thin and then like skinny 

484
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,520
heroin model is like back in, 
you know, like. 

485
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,200
Different people don't realize 
the repercussions of changing 

486
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,040
your body in your mid 20s, like 
24 to 26. 

487
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,120
And I'm not sure how old you 
are, but you know, being 31, I 

488
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:53,360
look back and I'm like, what I 
wanted at 25 is not what I want 

489
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,680
today. 
And like, although everybody 

490
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,600
wants, like, perfect, perky 
boobs, I'm like, I need some, I 

491
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,200
need a kid to, like, boost me, 
like, right now. 

492
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,720
Having honey kids and my boobs 
are really still perky, but 

493
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,080
everybody wants boobs. 
They're like the same size and 

494
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,760
all the things. 
But it's like at the end of the 

495
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,440
day, people follow these trends 
and that's the most damaging 

496
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,560
thing in my opinion, other than 
like doing what you want. 

497
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,840
And I think we all, in the 
generation that we're in, have 

498
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,000
body dysmorphia and I have. 
Like, Oh yeah. 

499
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,240
Because one day when we're like 
55, we're going to look back and

500
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,200
be like I was that bitch at that
time. 

501
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,560
Bitch. 
Like people. 

502
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,240
I try to like when people like 
comment on my stuff. 

503
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,360
Like I made a video the other 
day and I've done it a couple 

504
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:38,040
times where I'm like it's poses 
like not only am I like, hey 

505
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,640
like I've had work done, but 
when people are like, oh, I wish

506
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,920
I looked like you. 
And it's like, I know for a fact

507
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,920
like I'm holding my own waist in
and I'm breaking my back and my 

508
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,320
hip for that pose. 
I want that to be known too. 

509
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,840
That the same body that looks 
like that can look like this and

510
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,760
people all the time, like, Oh my
gosh, This is why you're so 

511
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,400
awesome. 
I'm like. 

512
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,480
The same. 
I just have to remind myself 

513
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:04,400
like, because there are times 
even now, like I have people who

514
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,520
will comment and they're like, 
you know, oh you know, you're a 

515
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,640
great representation for like 
the thick models and I'm like 

516
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,120
you. 
I'm like, I'm like I'm not in 

517
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:15,920
any offence, but like, I'm like 
first of all like I'm not like I

518
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,240
wish I was like I wish I had 
them thick thighs and things 

519
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,840
like that. 
And I constantly fight that in 

520
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,560
my mind is like. 
I'm not thick enough, but then 

521
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,200
it's like, I'll see like these 
other girls, like for example, 

522
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,960
like Jim, Gamer girl. 
I fucking love her. 

523
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,680
She's the biggest sweetheart, 
but she is so skinny. 

524
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,320
She's got big old fake boobies. 
She got these huge fake boobies,

525
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:40,680
but she's so skinny. 
Cruella, she is so skinny. 

526
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,400
And all these girls and I'm 
looking and I'm like, well, 

527
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,760
fuck, like, is that is that what
is like? 

528
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,320
And I'm doing myself like. 
Is that what it is that might be

529
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,520
holding me back? 
Like, I'm not like that. 

530
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,880
Just like you said, like that 
rail heroin, thin, like almost 

531
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,480
anorexic looking skinny because 
I'm like, well fuck, Nowadays 

532
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,880
you lose the shit to turn away. 
But then it's like then I see 

533
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,080
someone else and I'm like, Nah, 
see that thickness though. 

534
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,440
That just looks real good. 
Like that Raven girl, that goth 

535
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,800
Raven girl on TikTok. 
She had that purple and black 

536
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,480
hair, and I see her and I'm 
like, yes, bitch like, I don't 

537
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,560
want to look like that, like, 
but it is. 

538
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,600
It's a constant battle because 
you look at people. 

539
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,600
And it's it's a confusing time 
right now when both I guess are 

540
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,120
it. 
And it should be a good thing 

541
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,440
because it's more of like a 
equal kind of thing for 

542
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,240
everybody. 
But it's hard because you see it

543
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:35,320
fluctuating so much recently. 
Rail thin, thick, rail thin, 

544
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,840
thick, and it kind of just puts 
you in this mindset where you're

545
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,840
like, shit, which way are we 
supposed to go? 

546
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,480
And you have to stop and think 
like you first. 

547
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,640
Like fuck what's in. 
Like fuck, what's in like you 

548
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,600
need to look in the mirror and 
be like, I'm a bad fucking 

549
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,720
bitch, dude. 
Like I fight that shit all the 

550
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,880
time, all the time. 
I'll look, especially after 

551
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,680
getting 2 rounds of liposuction 
like you would think, You know 

552
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,280
what I mean? 
In your mind if you 2 rounds of 

553
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,720
liposuction, you look in the 
mirror and you see some pudge or

554
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,440
some rolls. 
Or like, I do this like all my 

555
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,080
back rolls are back if I'm 
sitting a certain way or 

556
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,040
anything. 
And I'm like. 

557
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,320
And I start criticizing myself 
and I'm like, I need to lose all

558
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,880
this weight. 
And I need to pull this and I 

559
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,200
want this. 
And I want to call my doctor. 

560
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,960
I want liposuction again. 
And I want this. 

561
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,720
And I'm like, oh, dude, like 
breathe for why? 

562
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,520
Why? 
Like, appreciate that body. 

563
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,080
Like my body gave birth to two 
kids. 

564
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,440
My body has been through some of
the most traumatic shit a human 

565
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,360
can go through, Like appreciate 
it. 

566
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,560
I appreciate and love where you 
are and I tell people all the 

567
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,240
time. 
Sometimes I wish I never got my 

568
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:45,080
first bit of plastic surgery 
because I do feel like if I 

569
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,680
would have never went under the 
knife the first time, I wouldn't

570
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,200
want to continuously be changing
what I have now. 

571
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,560
If that makes sense, that 
totally makes sense. 

572
00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,560
And you also, you know, being on
social media, we make ourselves 

573
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,440
open to having criticism and 
feedback and whatever whether it

574
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:10,120
be wanted or unwanted. 
And there is no some people have

575
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:14,840
no boundary And if you know Greg
and his fucking beer gut want to

576
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,200
sit there and finger his belly 
button while he tells you how 

577
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,600
fat and ugly you are and you 
could never get a man like 

578
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:23,520
that's what's going to happen. 
And unfortunately, and even if 

579
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,600
we're like fuck you, sometimes 
that shit does stick, Especially

580
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,520
if you are so aware of your body
and you're already having a 

581
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,040
dysmorphia or whatever. 
I think a majority of people 

582
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,720
have of body dysmorphia. 
I think they say that like the 

583
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,520
like, you wouldn't recognize 
yourself if you saw yourself 

584
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,920
because you look so different 
than you do inside of your mind.

585
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,880
You appear so different to other
people, and I'm understanding 

586
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,240
what you're saying about the 
like comparing yourself to other

587
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,160
people that you're seeing in 
their bodies, because I've been 

588
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,920
really working on getting out of
the mindset. 

589
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:08,360
I would see sick girls on TikTok
and stuff and I would be like, 

590
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,040
well, she, it is my size or 
she's bigger or whatever. 

591
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,160
But it's because of the way 
that, like, the fat is displaced

592
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,120
on her body and like, she has a 
fat, a flat stomach, but she's 

593
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,240
got, you know, these other 
things and like, if my body 

594
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,160
looks like that, I'd show it, 
you know? 

595
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,840
But think about the lies, 
especially a lot of these thick 

596
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,520
models. 
I love me a good thick woman. 

597
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,400
Let me just be sober. 
I love me a good thick woman. 

598
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,160
But. 
The lies again from social media

599
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,720
and modeling, these thick girls 
are going in and they're getting

600
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,960
tummy tucks. 
They're keeping their weight, 

601
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,200
but they're getting the 
liposuction and the tummy tucks 

602
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,520
just in their stomach. 
Why? 

603
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,440
Because it's going to snatch the
waist in, flatten the tummy, but

604
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,000
they're still going to be thick 
everywhere else. 

605
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:58,280
Which again, realistically, you,
anybody, anybody gaining weight,

606
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,200
the fact that you're still going
to have this tight little 

607
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,720
stomach. 
And everywhere else is going to 

608
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,480
be thick. 
But somehow your stomach doesn't

609
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,120
gain weight. 
That's not right. 

610
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,120
That's not. 
That doesn't seem correct like 

611
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,200
that. 
I don't think the body works 

612
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,040
that way. 
Yeah, there's a lot of. 

613
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:19,720
People that have super tight 
waist and then these huge hips 

614
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,800
and thighs. 
And I've noticed also, 

615
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,840
especially with like the trend 
of the editing apps I a photo 

616
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,240
shoot with a a bunch of girls 
and. 

617
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:34,040
One of the girls was like, I 
don't like the way I look, you 

618
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,880
need to snatch in my waist. 
And then I sent some of the 

619
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:41,400
unedited photos to a guy friend 
of mine and he said that girl 

620
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,200
looks way skinnier on Instagram 
and she's had two BBLS and boob 

621
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,360
jobs and she's definitely had 
quite a bit of surgery and she's

622
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,240
a nice girl. 
But the way that she started 

623
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:55,520
editing the unedited photo, it's
snatching herself in. 

624
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,080
I was like, wow, like this whole
time I'm thinking that she's got

625
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,960
these BBLS and she's super fit 
now or super in place. 

626
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,640
And like, really, she's editing 
all of those photos in a way 

627
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,600
that is changing the way that 
she actually looks. 

628
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,320
And I do think, like with 
anything, it's addictive, but 

629
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,280
it's as back before I ever got 
lip injections. 

630
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,320
I never wanted lip injections. 
But then this girl got into my 

631
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:25,440
DMS 'cause I used to overline my
lips like most girls do. 

632
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,680
We overline our lips and look 
bigger. 

633
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,680
And this girl hopped in my DMS 
and was like, have you ever 

634
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,480
thought about getting lip 
injections? 

635
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:33,880
And just straight said that to 
me? 

636
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,800
And I know this girl. 
And so when she said that, it 

637
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,520
offended me. 
But then I started thinking 

638
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:39,760
about it. 
And then I was like, you know 

639
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,920
what? 
I do want to do this. 

640
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,920
And then I did it. 
It became super addictive and I 

641
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,840
was going and getting a half a 
syringe like every three months.

642
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:52,960
And now it's been like 19 months
since I've went and they barely 

643
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,080
went down at all. 
Like, I love the way they look 

644
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,120
and I'm like. 
Were they way too big? 

645
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,080
Like, have they dispersed and 
too big? 

646
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,120
And it's funny because we don't 
know what we look like. 

647
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,320
Because the whole time when Jim 
and I was like, I wanna bring 

648
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,159
this girl on the podcast, I was 
like, she is so hot. 

649
00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:09,719
Like, this is the girl in my 
dreams. 

650
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,679
Like if there was a girl in my 
dreams, it's you. 

651
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,719
And then you're over here like. 
Tearing yourself apart. 

652
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:18,440
And then, you know, it's just 
amazing, especially to know that

653
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,320
the people we admire on the 
Internet, not just you, but 

654
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,400
every woman that we admire on 
the Internet, is beating herself

655
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,719
up at night. 
One day when we're old and 

656
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:29,199
wrinkly, we're gonna be like I 
was that bitch and I need to be 

657
00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:30,600
nice to myself. 
Yes. 

658
00:34:31,159 --> 00:34:34,719
What I try to remind myself 
constantly is like one day when 

659
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:38,080
I'm old, I'm going to wish that 
I had this role, that role, 

660
00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:40,400
whatever it is, I'm going to 
wish I had that. 

661
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,280
And you know, I think that 
there's people that age very 

662
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,280
well, like share. 
And it's like you've got to love

663
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,760
yourself in a way that the 
universe. 

664
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:53,000
Also is matching that and I feel
like Cher has always talked her 

665
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,080
shit up. 
Like if you interviews of her 

666
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,600
and not only she's a witch but 
like she has aged like fine 

667
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,920
fucking wine. 
And it's crazy because I don't 

668
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,600
feel like she's had that much 
work. 

669
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,160
Like notice what? 
I'm sure she's had work, but 

670
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:09,360
like on the other hand, Dolly 
Parton is starting to look like 

671
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,040
a fucking robot lady. 
Like she does not look real. 

672
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,760
Like Janet Janice. 
Oh my God, I can't remember her 

673
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,800
name. 
The first supermodel Janis. 

674
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,440
I know her first name's. 
Janis. 

675
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,000
I can't remember her last name 
right now. 

676
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,240
I can't either. 
But I She was on America's Next 

677
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:29,680
Top Model all the time. 
Yeah, yeah, she even went on 

678
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:32,400
botched and all that. 
But like, she was beautiful. 

679
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:36,360
I know she's had so much work. 
And as an old lady like how's 

680
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,160
her face doesn't move. 
Madonna and like Joan Rivers, 

681
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,040
died on the table, right? 
Wasn't she getting work done? 

682
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,360
And she died on the table. 
That was like when I went in. 

683
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,440
It was a week before my second 
BBL when that girl from Wild Now

684
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,640
had gone in for her mommy 
makeover and died in the hotel 

685
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:55,880
room. 
Hours. 

686
00:35:55,880 --> 00:36:01,080
I didn't know about that. 
Yes, yeah. 

687
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,320
One of the girls from Walnut. 
She went in for a mommy 

688
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,480
makeover. 
And I like, let me tell you. 

689
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,600
Plastics were pretty scared. 
I cry every time before I go in 

690
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,440
and I change my mind. 
Right before they take me, 

691
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,040
before they wheel me back. 
They have to drug me up because 

692
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,840
I bawl and start having panic 
attacks because I don't want to 

693
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,120
do it. 
It's scary. 

694
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:26,240
It's scary. 
I think, like I said, I wish 21 

695
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:31,560
year old me when I got my first 
set of boobies was like, you 

696
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,840
don't need it. 
We're going to play this podcast

697
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,800
back when I get my body done and
we can all hear about it and 

698
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:43,360
we'll be like this is the before
and I'm just, I really do want 

699
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,280
to get shit done and this does 
not swing me in One Direction. 

700
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,720
What gets me about boob jobs is 
because 21 year old me thought 

701
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,240
you get a boob job and that shit
lasts forever. 

702
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:57,440
But when Bunny brought it to the
reality that that shit gets 

703
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:02,160
infected or flaps or grows mold 
or all these things and that you

704
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,960
really need to be getting them 
redone every five to seven years

705
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,680
like that blew my mind because 
in the 90s and early 2000s that 

706
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,480
was not spoke of. 
And now with the Internet and 

707
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,480
all of this craze, I don't know 
what the disease is called, but 

708
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,840
it's something directly related.
Breast implant sickness. 

709
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:20,640
It's all plain and simple. 
Breast implant sickness. 

710
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,880
I wish I almost brought mine up 
here. 

711
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,240
I kept my implants for my first 
one, and the reason I got my 

712
00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:29,720
implants replaced was because of
the fact that I had strung a 

713
00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:32,960
leak. 
My implants, both of them now, 

714
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,520
they have been out of my body 
since February of this year, OK?

715
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,680
It hasn't even been a full year 
and they've been in the bags and

716
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,280
those implants are just like 
airbags. 

717
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,480
There's probably. 
Three CC's worth of water left 

718
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,680
in them and it hurt. 
It hurt. 

719
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,920
This left boob was deflating and
it was getting smaller and 

720
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,040
sagging and this one was slowly 
going. 

721
00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:00,960
It sucks. 
Nowadays you, if you get the gel

722
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:05,760
implants, you're almost good. 
You're you're you almost don't 

723
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,640
have to worry about it anymore. 
But if you have the saline and 

724
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,800
you got your boob sent in the 
past, it's supposed to be at Max

725
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,240
every 10 years. 
They got to go. 

726
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,760
Why You could do saline because 
it looked more natural, right? 

727
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:23,040
So, and that's what they said. 
Well, when I got mine done, I 

728
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,760
got mine on my it was a two 
weeks after my 21st birthday 

729
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,880
when I got my boobs done my 
first time. 

730
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:35,840
And if you're 22 and under, so 
18 to 22, they will not put gel 

731
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,040
implants, they won't put 
silicone implants in. 

732
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,120
You can only have saline. 
So I went with the saline. 

733
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,920
Now, mind you, that story of 
that boob job, there was no 

734
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:50,000
anesthesia. 
It was in some backdoor place. 

735
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:54,000
I was awake for the whole 
fucking surgery for your 

736
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,960
titties. 
Or under the muscle on top of it

737
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,360
all, under the IT was the worst 
experience of my life. 

738
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,360
The fucking worst Wait, I have 
never heard of a wide the fuck 

739
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,960
awake titty job. 
What is this? 

740
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,960
Just makes me think of Dirty 
Dancing when you're just 

741
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,720
getting, like, a botched 
abortion. 

742
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:18,400
Dude, look, 21. 
I don't got a lot of money. 

743
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,080
I want boobs. 
I'm looking around talking to 

744
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,280
all these doctors and they're 
like 7 to 8 grand. 

745
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,880
I'm like, I can't do that. 
I have no credit. 

746
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:31,320
That's not good. 
And I found a Doctor Who was 

747
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:36,520
willing to do my boobs for $2500
match. 

748
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:41,760
Was that? 
It's basically, you know, it's 

749
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,200
like the two-story shopping 
centers where it's like they got

750
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,040
the one little level and the 
second level, like literally 

751
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,880
right below where I got my boobs
and it was like a light bulbs 

752
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:54,480
and more so there was no, like 
hospital around. 

753
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,560
There was no anything. 
It was like you walk into the 

754
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,440
waiting room and it was like a 
room the size of my office with 

755
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:04,120
a table in it. 
And they went to town on it and 

756
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,080
I walked in for the day of my 
boob drop. 

757
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,360
He gave me an aunt, an anxiety 
pill. 

758
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:14,120
And two Oxys and said sit here 
for 30 minutes, we're going to 

759
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,800
come back and get you. 
And they came back and they got 

760
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,280
me and they laid me down and 
they put the little sheet so I 

761
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:24,280
couldn't see anything. 
And they were just talking and 

762
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:26,400
talking. 
And then I felt them like 

763
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,560
numbing me, like they went 
around the boobs and they numbed

764
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,800
all around. 
And I literally told my doctor, 

765
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,600
I said it felt like you were 
taking a needle and thick ass 

766
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,840
thread and just rip it through 
my skin. 

767
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,880
He was like, oh, there's just 
the numbing, You're fine, you're

768
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,920
fine. 
I used to have a a opiate 

769
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:46,560
problem. 
SO2 Oxys did not, did not knock 

770
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,560
me out like it was supposed to. 
It did not. 

771
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:55,360
And I'm laying there and hearing
the muscle and feeling the 

772
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:59,080
muscle being ripped off of my 
chest plate, the smelling of the

773
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:03,960
cauterizing of my skin, the 
tugging, the pulling the back. 

774
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:09,520
It was fucking horrific. 
Then because it was saline, they

775
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,200
stick the bags in there and they
start filling them up. 

776
00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:18,120
And that was probably the worst.
As I remember as I was laying 

777
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,880
there and he was filling it up 
and I said that's it, that's 

778
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,000
enough. 
That's I can't. 

779
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,960
I can't. 
It feels like my heart is going 

780
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,520
to explode, My chest is going to
explode, stop. 

781
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,000
They're big enough. 
I feel it. 

782
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:30,560
And he was like, honey, you're 
only at 40 CCS, we're going to 

783
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,760
350. 
And they just kept going. 

784
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,600
And it was so, it was so 
painful. 

785
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,160
It was horrible. 
They finally brought another Oxy

786
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:44,800
for me, popped my third Oxy. 
And by the time that Oxy kicked 

787
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:49,000
in, all I remember is I sat up, 
I wanted to puke. 

788
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,880
I was not only like nauseous 
from hearing and smelling 

789
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,240
everything, but I just looked up
and I went. 

790
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:01,680
I have boobs and I was out and I
woke up in the hotel room. 

791
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,720
What in the blue? 
Fuck. 

792
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:11,120
What that reminds me of is Cardi
B talks about getting ass shots 

793
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:15,560
at somebody's like basement shop
whatever, and how she talks 

794
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,720
about, like how damaging it was 
to her body long term. 

795
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,560
And I don't really know what ass
shots are. 

796
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,640
I truly don't. 
I guess it's some some type of 

797
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,680
three floating silicone 
injections. 

798
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:32,480
It is absolutely horrific. 
There are so many celebrities 

799
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:37,200
who got that in the past who now
are completely deformed in their

800
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:41,840
booty area and you can't just go
in and scrape out the free 

801
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,680
floating. 
The silicone can go anywhere, it

802
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,200
can travel anywhere in your 
body, It can literally kill you.

803
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,680
It's horrible. 
So whatever happened to butt 

804
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:52,320
implants? 
Is that still a thing where 

805
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,640
people actually put something 
under there or no? 

806
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,520
Yes it is. 
And I I have actually thought 

807
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:07,640
about it but but implants from 
what I've heard about them is 

808
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,760
because you're constantly 
sitting on them and you're 

809
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,040
constantly doing stuff like your
boobs you lay on them every once

810
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:15,680
in a while but it's not a 
constant thing is your butt 

811
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,640
gets. 
It's like it's really it hurts 

812
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,680
like it's like a perma hurt. 
So I don't know if it would be 

813
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:25,360
worth it. 
Do you have crazy ass scarring 

814
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:29,160
from your wide awake 3 Oxy boob 
job? 

815
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:35,920
I'm saying no I don't. 
My scars were actually worse 

816
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,560
going back in, and that's just 
because they cut in the same 

817
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:40,160
way. 
Now I do. 

818
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:45,400
I do have like that tattoo over 
it, but like they're they're 

819
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,680
literally my scars, literally 
sitting right, right underneath 

820
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:48,360
that. 
You can show us. 

821
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:52,080
The whole boob it's fine. 
You really can't tell though. 

822
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:55,560
I mean that looks it's somewhere
right there I think. 

823
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,760
So you did the turning from you 
after the fact. 

824
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,560
I said what? 
You did the tattoo after you 

825
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,680
went back? 
Oh yeah, I actually just. 

826
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:08,440
I shouldn't have tattooed that 
early over my my new, my new 

827
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,320
boobs. 
But I had this tattoo. 

828
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,080
I got this tattoo done when I 
was like 22, about a year after 

829
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,680
my boob job, mainly to cover. 
I never got it finished and I 

830
00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:20,920
just had it finished by my 
tattoo artist, I want to say in 

831
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,280
May of this year. 
So my scars were still really 

832
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,000
fresh. 
But like I we we had a tattoo 

833
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,960
competition to win. 
So I said do it. 

834
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,680
So you went through a whole body
transformation this year then? 

835
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,680
Oh, it's sickening. 
Actually, it's sickening. 

836
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:43,600
I have done a complete 180 like 
I I don't look anything. 

837
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,960
And that it has all been within 
the course of this year. 

838
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,400
Where was the motivation? 
You were just like, I'm unhappy 

839
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,400
with this, I need to do this. 
And then you just decided to do 

840
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,480
it all this year. 
I turned 30 this year. 

841
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:02,400
I turned 31 so I understand, but
at the same time I don't know 

842
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,120
what it was. 
Y'all bitches are old as fuck. 

843
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:12,360
It started off with with the 
whole embracing because. 

844
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,560
And if I look back at like all 
my photos as like, you know, 

845
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:21,800
teenager to my early 20s, mid 
20s, the goth alternative side 

846
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,040
of me was constantly creeping 
out. 

847
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,200
Like it was constantly like 
peeking its head. 

848
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,800
And I would force it back in, 
I'd peek right back out and I'd 

849
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:32,040
force it back in, like going 
through my old social media 

850
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,320
things like that. 
I can see it and it's sad that I

851
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:37,200
was so scared to just be who I 
am. 

852
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,400
But I was so scared to walk 
around the public with black 

853
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,400
lipstick. 
Oh my God. 

854
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:41,760
People are gonna think I'm 
crazy. 

855
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,880
Like, I always hit it. 
And right before my 30th 

856
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,040
birthday, I was like, you know 
what? 

857
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,000
I don't give a fuck. 
I don't. 

858
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,000
I was like, I want my tattoos. 
I want to be alternative. 

859
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,200
I want that. 
And that's kind of like what 

860
00:45:55,200 --> 00:46:00,440
really started. 
It is literally in January of 

861
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,200
this past year, I should say I 
really went ham. 

862
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,880
I started getting the tattoos 
like crazy. 

863
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,280
My these piercings are literally
a year old. 

864
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,120
So I started, I think I actually
started with like my throat, 

865
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,160
just this part of my throat and 
the piercings. 

866
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,840
And then it just kept going and 
kept going and kept going and it

867
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,840
was like a highway that I could 
not hop off of. 

868
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,760
And I'm not mad at it at all. 
I'm not upset with it. 

869
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:29,600
But yeah, I I couldn't. 
I couldn't pretend anymore to be

870
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:36,760
this sweet girl next door, this 
cute little country girl. 

871
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,600
Like, all that. 
Like, first of all, like, yes, I

872
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:42,080
live in Texas, but I was born 
and raised in California and 

873
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,360
like, in the Bay Area, like, 
there's there's nothing country 

874
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,560
about that. 
Like, there's not like, I'm like

875
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,400
a ghetto goth. 
And that's just what I've always

876
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:55,960
been, like I'm a goth. 
And to pretend to be that other 

877
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,440
person, it's it sucks. 
It's sad. 

878
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,000
It's gross. 
You know what, We talked about 

879
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,840
this before, but when I was 
younger, like 14 years old, I 

880
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,000
was on this website called 
Vampire Freaks. 

881
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:13,920
I was on it too. 
Yeah, so I actually did this 

882
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,240
thing because I've always been a
really like communicator, hype 

883
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:20,000
girl, whatever. 
So I actually broke their 

884
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:23,160
algorithm on there where the 
owner actually ended up banning 

885
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,160
me saying that I was breaking 
their rules because instead of 

886
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:29,520
being the mean goth like weirdo 
people that he wanted. 

887
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:34,600
I was very nice chirpy, still 
gothic, but very chirpy and 

888
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,360
nice. 
And I would go and I would rate 

889
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,800
people that basically didn't 
really have friends on there 

890
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,760
because you knew it was like a 
rate and like 1. 

891
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,640
So I would go through and I 
would rate people and be like, I

892
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:49,280
would basically pick like, wow, 
I love this band too, or wow, 

893
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,400
this is your favorite animal or 
whatever it was. 

894
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,000
I would basically go through, 
find something I liked about 

895
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:58,720
their profile and rate them. 
And I was like, that's nice. 

896
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,440
Though. 1314 years old. 
And so I did this like for 

897
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:07,120
fucking 12 hours a day and I'm 
getting myself up to #3 top 

898
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:11,400
rated girl on the whole website 
because people not only really 

899
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,160
like that energy, but then they 
would come back and rate me. 

900
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,920
So, right. 
And I was breaking the rules 

901
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:21,360
because basically he had never 
had a user that would go through

902
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,920
and basically hype people up 
that were like loners, losers, 

903
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,040
posers, golf, whatever it was, 
you know what I mean? 

904
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,000
So he banned me for a whole 
year. 

905
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,160
And it was like, when I first, 
like, it was maybe my sophomore 

906
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:34,840
year of high school. 
He banned me for that whole 

907
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,840
year. 
So then by the time that I 

908
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,360
turned 16, I'm a junior, started
driving. 

909
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:43,360
I forgot about the website, like
kind of completely, right. 

910
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:46,280
He basically. 
He took my momentum away from me

911
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,360
because I was like this is like 
pre Suicide girl days. 

912
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,680
You know what I mean? 
Like how far on this website and

913
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:55,560
my aunt and my family was so 
worked up about it that my mom 

914
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,880
was allowing me on this website 
And my aunt literally will bring

915
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,120
it up at like Thanksgiving and 
just be like yeah, I thought 

916
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:03,600
we're going to get kidnapped or 
sex trafficked. 

917
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:07,480
But I would have so many people 
make fake profiles of me because

918
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:11,720
I'm so well liked and supported 
and followed on there that I had

919
00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:14,440
fake profiles across the board 
on any website. 

920
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:18,160
You could imagine, and it's 
crazy to me, when I look back on

921
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,400
that, 'cause I was literally 
like 12/13/14. 

922
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,280
You're not supposed to be on 
that website till you're 14, but

923
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,760
like, no one ever knew that. 
But it's crazy because I've 

924
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,920
literally have two lifelong 
friends like to this day from 

925
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,800
that website. 
That's amazing. 

926
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,200
I love that. 
It's crazy. 

927
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,000
It's like actually posted on 
TikTok. 

928
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,960
I want to say like four or five 
months ago and I was like, I 

929
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,680
could not remember the name of 
it because I thought it was 

930
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,240
vampire freaks. 
But when I looked it up, I was 

931
00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:43,880
like, that's a clothing line 
now. 

932
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:45,600
Like what? 
And I wasn't. 

933
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,120
I was like, yo, what? 
It was the Goth Myspace. 

934
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:50,120
What the fuck was it? 
And everyone was like, it was 

935
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:51,880
vampire freaks. 
I was like, Oh my God. 

936
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:53,760
I remember. 
I remember like that was like 

937
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,400
the first time when I put on 
like black lipstick. 

938
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:58,000
I was saying like 12 years old. 
I have like my glasses, my big 

939
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,400
frame glass and black lipstick 
was like that super high up. 

940
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:05,000
Like the what? 
Trying to be all like, you know,

941
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:08,360
a emo. 
That's like when I first got a 

942
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,520
digital camera and would put it 
on a tripod and like, do all 

943
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,240
these photo shoots. 
And now I have people that I 

944
00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:17,040
grew up with like that'll find 
me like, 'cause I lived in a 

945
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,520
small town and they'll find me 
later and they'll be like, I 

946
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:21,360
always knew you would be 
successful. 

947
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,840
I always knew you would be a 
model and all these things. 

948
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:27,400
And it's just funny because that
was just like 12 year old inner 

949
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,320
child, me having the time. 
And I am a very nice person, but

950
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,760
it's funny because exactly. 
What I did on there is kind of 

951
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:39,000
how I built my brand as it is 
now is like like you said, 

952
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,560
trying to relate to people reply
to people. 

953
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:43,560
You know I love getting a 
message and people are like you 

954
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:47,320
probably won't see this and if I
you know and then you see it, it

955
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,760
feels heartfelt and like a nice 
gesture. 

956
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,840
But it's crazy to think like how
far social media has evolved in 

957
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,520
our generation. 
And I think that has a lot to do

958
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,200
with the body dysmorphia 
situation because it's like 

959
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,840
we've constantly been putting 
our life on display when other. 

960
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,840
People just went and played 
outside the whole of their 

961
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,920
childhood. 
But we're like half hybrid, you 

962
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:12,280
know, it's like half playing 
with bikes and whatever, and 

963
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:15,920
then the other half is like 
Internet and AOL and Myspace. 

964
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:19,920
And so it's amazing to, like, 
realize that we're all kind of 

965
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,040
simultaneously living the same 
experience in some way. 

966
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,440
No, I agree. 
I agree 1000%. 

967
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,880
I promise somebody. 
Was talking recently about how 

968
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,680
the kids of this generation, 
what is that? 

969
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,360
That's me. 
That is not you. 

970
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,400
That's that's pre embracing 
myself. 

971
00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:45,400
You look like a Bratz doll. 
You don't look like the same 

972
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,800
person. 
No. 

973
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:53,920
I mean, there's like a but yeah,
that's the most like. 

974
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,440
I mean, I. 
Was you on the cover? 

975
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,800
Yeah. 
Oh my God, that does not look 

976
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,640
like you. 
You look very Hispanic there, 

977
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:01,840
like right now. 
You look very. 

978
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:04,560
Suicide White Girl. 
But right there. 

979
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:08,080
You look very Hispanic. 
It's the when I have like, so 

980
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:11,840
that's a wig too. 
But my natural hair is extremely

981
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,280
tight curls. 
So anytime I put on something 

982
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,000
with tight curls, you're like, 
she's Mexican. 

983
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,320
There it is like the hair. 
As soon as curls go on, you're 

984
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,040
like, OK, yeah, there there's 
the Hispanic like. 

985
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,160
I think you're beautiful either 
way. 

986
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:32,080
Oh, thanks. 
What got you in to like content 

987
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,080
creation, social media, like is 
it just like a form of 

988
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:38,360
expression for you? 
And was it always a goal to 

989
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,200
evolve into this? 
Like we really are interested in

990
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,320
what type of all the contents 
that you create and like what 

991
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,440
led you down that path. 
I don't. 

992
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:50,760
I don't. 
I'm not doing this for fame at 

993
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:51,880
all. 
Don't want it. 

994
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:54,600
I don't want to be famous. 
I think that's that would be 

995
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:57,560
probably horrible. 
I'm, I don't like people. 

996
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,520
So like I would have to interact
with a lot more people. 

997
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:06,360
I literally like, I don't know, 
I've always been, I guess more 

998
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:10,000
of an artsy person. 
I guess you can say I used to 

999
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,440
always like to do people's 
makeup. 

1000
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:14,160
I used to do nails for people. 
But like, I just because I had 

1001
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,440
my daughter at 16. 
I've never gone to college. 

1002
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:19,480
I've never been able to really 
do anything you know, with it. 

1003
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,960
I kind of started on Facebook 
with like the makeup, the nails,

1004
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,160
things like that. 
Nothing big at the time. 

1005
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:31,760
And four years ago, yeah, four 
years ago I hopped up on TikTok 

1006
00:53:32,240 --> 00:53:37,080
and I I was like just a user for
512, you know, just a nobody. 

1007
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:41,240
And I I started posting videos 
like I would never show my face 

1008
00:53:41,240 --> 00:53:43,800
because I was just like, no, I 
don't like that. 

1009
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,400
Like, that's weird. 
Like, I don't. 

1010
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,200
Again, maybe it was our 
generation at the time. 

1011
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,480
Like, that's a little weird. 
Like, I don't know. 

1012
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:55,520
And I posted my second video I 
ever posted was showing off my 

1013
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:57,720
high heels. 
And I don't know if you guys 

1014
00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:00,400
were on TikTok at that time. 
The trend where it was like, you

1015
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,760
kick the camera, it was a new 
shoe, kick the camera, new shoe,

1016
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:07,920
kick the camera, new shoe. 
And that video had like 4.7 

1017
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:12,160
million fucking views. 
It went fucking ape shit. 

1018
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:17,680
And I was like my shoes, like, 
it's that easy. 

1019
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:19,000
And I guess that's how it wasn't
my mind. 

1020
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,040
I was like, it's that easy. 
Well, at the time I was still 

1021
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:25,000
very subdued and like even my 
natural hair, I always, it was 

1022
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,000
like platinum blonde, like I was
trying to be cute and girly and 

1023
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:32,440
things like that. 
And as people saw me with all of

1024
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,360
that and then the fact that I 
was from Texas, they kind of, I 

1025
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:42,120
kind of morphed into this person
and it turned into like this 

1026
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:48,120
hometown country girl, this 
American loving, cute girl next 

1027
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:52,160
door. 
And it definitely wasn't me. 

1028
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:57,000
And it caused actually a lot of 
issues in my marriage for a hot 

1029
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:00,440
minute when it started because 
my husband was like, who the 

1030
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,640
fuck are you? 
Like? 

1031
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,920
He's like when I mentioned you 
were this punk rock chick, like 

1032
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,440
who the fuck is this? 
Like because this person who 

1033
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,320
you're trying to be on the 
Internet, that's not who the 

1034
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:11,920
fuck you are. 
This is gross. 

1035
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,040
And I was like, shut up, let 
people evolve. 

1036
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:18,520
I, you know, just try because I 
was so mind fucked and it just 

1037
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,960
slowly sort of trickling to 
where like I think my largest 

1038
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,120
account because I've had 19 tip 
T.O.K accounts, I've been banned

1039
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,400
a lot. 
My largest account I got up to 

1040
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:29,320
900,000 followers and it was 
cool. 

1041
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:32,680
It was awesome and I really 
wanted to hold on to that 

1042
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:34,800
because it was the excitement of
it. 

1043
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:39,960
Now at this point, I don't give 
a fine fuck if I have 10 

1044
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:44,320
followers tomorrow, because at 
this point the only reason I use

1045
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:50,160
my platform is for, you know, I 
don't want to say small 

1046
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:53,280
businesses in like an insulted 
way, but small, medium, even 

1047
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:57,560
large businesses, small, medium,
large photographers, new models,

1048
00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:00,280
I use my platform. 
The tiny amount of clout that I 

1049
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:03,760
have, the only reason I want to 
continue is because I can push 

1050
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:08,040
other people and I can get other
people where they want to be. 

1051
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:10,920
And if even if I'm a tiny little
stepping stone so maybe someone 

1052
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:13,800
else can notice them, that's 
that's that's what I want. 

1053
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,040
That's that's where I'm at with 
my social media life. 

1054
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,080
You know, even with modeling, I 
love it. 

1055
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:22,840
But what I do love a lot of 
people don't know is 90% of the 

1056
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,520
time with these photographers, 
they get shocked because they 

1057
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:29,000
asked me what my modeling fee is
and I'm like none. 

1058
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,200
Don't worry about it. 
They they get shocked. 

1059
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,000
Wait, you don't. 
There's no fee. 

1060
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,040
No, you're the one doing the 
work. 

1061
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:37,160
I just have to show up and look 
pretty. 

1062
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,360
The fuck you going to. 
Why would I charge you for that?

1063
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:43,120
Like, if I can boost you to 
small companies, how much would 

1064
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,240
it be for you to post a TikTok? 
I'm like, dude, you're already 

1065
00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:46,560
sending me clothes. 
Nothing. 

1066
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,360
I'm not going to. 
I don't charge people for this 

1067
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:50,240
shit. 
I just do it. 

1068
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:52,920
I just do it because I want to 
help somebody. 

1069
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:59,000
That's the type of shit at work.
We're getting sponsors right now

1070
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,760
and we're like, we'll put you on
100%. 

1071
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,800
Like you keep all your money, 
you're doing all the work, like 

1072
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,240
you're gonna send me free stuff,
you're doing all the work. 

1073
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,240
We're gonna put you on 100% like
we're not taking nothing out of 

1074
00:57:10,240 --> 00:57:12,920
that. 
And we've had issues with people

1075
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,200
who like. 
I think that their clout really 

1076
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:18,960
means something crazy. 
Like, it's this currency that's 

1077
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,400
worth so much. 
And it's funny that you're 

1078
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:24,360
drinking an Alani, because that 
girl's from Louisville, KY and 

1079
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:27,440
she built her brand in my 
hometown and now she's like 

1080
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,560
global and like. 
Shit. 

1081
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,920
But it's like you do build 
yourself up by being a genuine 

1082
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,320
person because that's what 
people resonate with at the end 

1083
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,560
of the day. 
Like you can be whoever you want

1084
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:42,520
to be, but you need to be 
yourself and be genuine about 

1085
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,080
it. 
And I think, like, that's what 

1086
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:47,520
also attracted us to you and and
when she sent me your picture, I

1087
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:50,680
was like, this girl is so cute. 
Like every time she's like, this

1088
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:52,240
is what I want to talk about. 
I'm like, she's bad. 

1089
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:57,720
We could talk about anything. 
But The thing is, is like, you 

1090
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:00,960
are kind of like feeling like 
that inner child dream for me, 

1091
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,320
'cause, like, I go through 
different phases of how I want 

1092
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:05,280
to dress. 
But in the last couple years, I 

1093
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:09,120
started getting a lot of tattoos
and, like, really becoming who I

1094
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:11,320
want to be. 
And I feel like there's so much 

1095
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:15,360
freedom in that, like when you 
just become who you want to be. 

1096
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:18,800
And I love that you're using 
your platform to help other 

1097
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:20,960
people, 'cause that's what I 
feel like we do like. 

1098
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:24,960
So not to bring up like random 
stuff, but like we had Aaron 

1099
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,720
Carter before he passed. 
Was going to come on the podcast

1100
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:30,760
and I just found the screenshot 
where he had shared it to his 

1101
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:34,640
story that he was coming on our 
podcast and then he passed. 

1102
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,680
And like, you know there's a lot
of people who use his name for 

1103
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:41,440
clout and these weird that post 
every little session celebrity 

1104
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,200
and it's just such a turn off. 
Like some people may rock with 

1105
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,840
that, but I read for celebrities
all the time and I don't ever 

1106
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:50,440
blast their business out there. 
Honestly, same people. 

1107
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:54,080
When people find out who I know,
like who I'm like, oh, yeah, no,

1108
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:55,600
like I was just talking. 
I'm like, if I'm in a normal 

1109
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,200
conversation, I'm like, wait, 
what? 

1110
00:58:57,200 --> 00:59:02,520
I'm like, dude, Like, I know, 
yes, I know a lot of famous 

1111
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,880
people, but like, just like you 
said, it's the people who are 

1112
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:10,320
like, oh, look at my body. 
What is that? 

1113
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,800
We're having a great time. 
It's like, oh, that's gross. 

1114
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:15,720
Like, you can see what you're 
doing there. 

1115
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,920
Like it's gross. 
Like, I guess the one, the one 

1116
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:21,720
thing, like the one person that 
everybody knows that I know is 

1117
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:24,000
Struggle Jennings. 
I fucking love him. 

1118
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,680
I think he's amazing. 
It's like my brother. 

1119
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,760
But like when I go to his shows 
and stuff, like, you know, he 

1120
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:31,600
was like so upset with the Jelly
roll one. 

1121
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:33,400
And he was like, oh man, I don't
know if I'm going to be able to 

1122
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,760
get you on the side stage for 
Jelly, You know, he got, he 

1123
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:38,160
packed his side stage out and I 
like, you know, there's only a 

1124
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:39,720
certain amount allowed for each 
one. 

1125
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,800
I said struggle. 
I said I love Jelly and I love 

1126
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,440
Bunny. 
I said, but I'm here to see you 

1127
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:48,440
and your band, Like you're my 
friend and you know what I mean?

1128
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:52,160
Like, I've literally gone to his
shows, watched him play a set 

1129
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:57,800
and left and left because it's 
like, I don't need, I don't need

1130
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:02,000
like to be like, hey, look at 
guys, look at it. 

1131
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:06,480
It's just, I know who I know. 
And at the end of the day, it is

1132
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:11,000
a turn off for a lot of people. 
When you try to brag and you're 

1133
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,480
you're only going to have your 
following, you're only going to 

1134
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,520
have your clout. 
You're only going to have your 

1135
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,800
success. 
As long as people are rooting 

1136
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:21,480
for you, the second people stop 
rooting for you as a person, 

1137
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:25,680
you're going to lose everything.
You know, it's funny that you 

1138
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:28,560
would bring Struggle up because 
I'm really close with Bunny. 

1139
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:33,000
So in the last couple like 
concerts, Struggle performed and

1140
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,880
I met his daughter and his and 
like me and his sister are 

1141
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:38,200
already locked in. 
I love Struggle sister Pam, 

1142
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:41,320
she's so fucking sweet. 
But I met him as a fucking. 

1143
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:43,040
I fucking love. 
Her. 

1144
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,600
He is amazing. 
I fucking love Pam and. 

1145
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:49,360
When I met his daughter, though,
I felt more fangirl than, like, 

1146
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:51,960
meeting him all the times. 
Like meeting his daughter, I was

1147
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:54,560
just like, Oh my God, like 
you're his daughter. 

1148
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:57,800
Like, you know, like being like 
1214 years old and you're just 

1149
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:01,800
growing up around all these 
cameras and notoriety. 

1150
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:04,960
And so, you know, when I see 
that, it, like, fuels my inner 

1151
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:08,520
child because it's like how? 
Like, so whenever, like, I met 

1152
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:11,360
Jelly's daughter for the first 
time and like, all these kids 

1153
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,480
that I meet, I'm always like, 
oh, my God, I met their 

1154
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:14,880
daughter. 
But like, I them. 

1155
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:17,240
And I'm just like, oh. 
Hey, I see their kid and I'm 

1156
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,880
like, can we get a picture? 
But you know, I love that you 

1157
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:21,640
said that because that is so 
true. 

1158
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:24,960
So many people only want what 
you can give to them. 

1159
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:27,600
Like, you know what? 
What can you do for me? 

1160
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,720
And like, how can you build my 
brand up? 

1161
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,520
And you know, out of all the 
things I've done for people, I 

1162
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:36,680
never ask anyone to shout me out
to share myself all my stuff. 

1163
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:39,680
Like, I don't like when 
everything feels very salesy or 

1164
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,680
like a sales Gemini. 
And I talk about this all the 

1165
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:45,080
time. 
There are so many people in the 

1166
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:48,240
spiritual arena that treat 
everything like a sales pitch. 

1167
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:50,400
And I'm a salesperson. 
I went to school for marketing, 

1168
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:55,640
like I know how to sell shit, 
but I never want people to just 

1169
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,760
think that I'm trying to sell 
them something. 

1170
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,440
It's disgusting. 
No, I agree. 

1171
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:05,200
I've I've literally actually 
dropped friends even recently 

1172
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:10,240
that have become salesy that 
have become do this for me. 

1173
01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:13,080
I am too big for my britches and
this well, I'm going to be with 

1174
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,560
this person because this person 
can do something for me and 

1175
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:18,160
that's just it's not it's not my
MO. 

1176
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:21,120
I won't put myself like I'm not 
going to lie, I got to meet. 

1177
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:23,880
I had talked to Bunny before me 
and her. 

1178
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:29,320
I had exchanged just talked. 
But when I met her in Austin I 

1179
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:31,320
almost had a God damn fucking 
heart attack. 

1180
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:35,400
I've I I have never in my 
fucking life fangirl for 

1181
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:37,760
anybody. 
I went Bunny was like, yeah 

1182
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:38,880
baby, I'm going to come and see 
you. 

1183
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:41,880
And I was like she don't go see 
me. 

1184
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:46,720
Bunny's going to see me but for 
a while I ain't shit, Bunny I 

1185
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:48,680
ain't shit. 
And she walked in and she gave 

1186
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:50,880
me a big hug. 
And I was, I was fan girl like a

1187
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:55,120
mother fucker. 
But I I didn't ask for a fucking

1188
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:58,000
photo with her. 
I didn't ask for a photo with 

1189
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,760
fucking Jelly. 
Like none of that. 

1190
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:04,760
Because one, first of all, 
people enjoy life in the fucking

1191
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:07,560
moment. 
Stop trying to post everything. 

1192
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:11,800
Just embrace it and enjoy it. 
But secondly, I I am. 

1193
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:13,800
I guess for me, like that's the 
same thing. 

1194
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,280
Like I want to enjoy the moment.
I don't care if people know that

1195
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:19,560
I got to hug Bunny or not. 
I know I did and that was 

1196
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:20,800
amazing. 
And I love her. 

1197
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:25,000
Well, and at the end of the day,
when you're posting, you know, 

1198
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:28,840
I'm seeing this person or that 
person, you start collecting 

1199
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:32,400
people whose energy is solely 
based on what they can get from 

1200
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:35,280
you. 
And so you think that, Oh my 

1201
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:37,320
gosh, it's going to, you know, 
people are like, oh, it's going 

1202
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:39,360
to make me so popular. 
People are going to be like, so 

1203
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:42,120
excited about it. 
Well, energetically, you just 

1204
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:45,080
have a bunch of people that are 
following you only to take from 

1205
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:46,560
you. 
And then you get sick and 

1206
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:49,960
depleted and your whole inbox 
is, can you do this for me? 

1207
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:51,360
Can you do that? 
And. 

1208
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,520
And I mean even on like small 
scale shit with us there have 

1209
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:59,800
been because we're very much the
same way where we're like we 

1210
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:03,280
just want to see everybody get 
to the top. 

1211
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:08,280
And some people have marketing 
strengths and we have platforms 

1212
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:12,000
or whatever and we're in a 
position to be able to, even if 

1213
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,440
it's just a little step higher 
than where they're at right now,

1214
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:19,040
give them like that confidence 
boost for themselves even and be

1215
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:20,800
like look like people are 
interested. 

1216
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:22,120
You just have to put yourself 
out there. 

1217
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:28,360
And something that we come by is
so often when you're coming from

1218
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:32,360
a genuine place of just wanting 
to give to somebody and help 

1219
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:35,320
them. 
Those people don't necessarily 

1220
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:38,920
come from a genuine place, which
is usually why they're not 

1221
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:42,920
rising to like the top is 
because they're not putting in 

1222
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:46,520
authentic energy themselves. 
And it really does turn around 

1223
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:50,160
where you get burned. 
And so we always have to have 

1224
01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:54,840
that balance of like, I want to 
help the people who are wanting 

1225
01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:57,680
to like help themselves and put 
themselves out there, but I 

1226
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:00,600
think that. 
We're more now and it sounds 

1227
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:04,520
like you 2, where we're kind of 
sitting back, we have this thing

1228
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:09,040
of like no new friends, which is
like we're not seeking out the 

1229
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:13,400
like underdog to be like, yo, 
It's if you're going to approach

1230
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:16,320
us and you're putting yourself 
out there and you're putting in 

1231
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:20,400
the work and energy that's 
different than us being like, 

1232
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,200
oh, we see how we can help you 
because also. 

1233
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,960
We can get into that captain, 
save a home mentality. 

1234
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:31,200
And now the fact that you don't 
know how to do things for 

1235
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:33,960
yourself is becoming my problem 
because I put that on my own 

1236
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:37,280
fucking shoulders. 
Oh, that's literally why I have 

1237
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:42,000
karma tattooed on my fucking 
face is because I believe that, 

1238
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,920
like, wholeheartedly. 
Like, not only that, you have to

1239
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,560
remember too, a lot of times 
these people who do randomly 

1240
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:50,600
skyrocket out of nowhere, 
sometimes they are the people 

1241
01:05:50,600 --> 01:05:52,960
that just like you said, they're
the they're chasing the clout 

1242
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,800
and they're following, and 
they're following is only 

1243
01:05:55,800 --> 01:05:58,080
following because of who they 
know, because of what they could

1244
01:05:58,080 --> 01:05:59,760
possibly gain, what they could 
possibly see. 

1245
01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:02,840
By the end of the day, they have
no actual substance to them. 

1246
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,160
And so sometimes, like, I pose 
like all my captions all the 

1247
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,520
time. 
Like dude, if you stay genuine, 

1248
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:13,760
if you really stay genuine and 
you bust your ass, it might take

1249
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:17,520
you a little bit longer. 
But don't fucking sell your soul

1250
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:19,560
for 5 minutes of fucking faint, 
dude. 

1251
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:21,920
That don't. 
That's just be you. 

1252
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:26,440
Knock it the fuck out and you'll
get there eventually. 

1253
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:30,440
What's so interesting about that
is it's like this in every 

1254
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,800
arena, whether it's the cannabis
arena, the music arena, the 

1255
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:37,760
spiritual arena, any fucking 
arena, that people think they 

1256
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:41,480
can take a step further and step
on someone to get there quicker.

1257
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:45,080
They do it, and it's always the 
people that I feel like have 

1258
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:49,080
trickled in my life because of 
Bunny, like my connection with 

1259
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:53,480
her, her podcast a few times. 
People come in and they see me 

1260
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:56,000
as like a direct link to her I 
have. 

1261
01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:59,280
So many people, they're like, 
can you tell Bunny this? 

1262
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:01,000
Can you get this to Bunny? 
Can you do this? 

1263
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:02,720
Can you do that? 
And all these things? 

1264
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:06,000
And it's like some of the people
that have stirred up shit in 

1265
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,800
mine and Gemini's life and 
communities and Patreon have 

1266
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:14,000
found me through Bunny fangirled
because I put them into the 

1267
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:18,080
community without any like. 
Like I tell Jim and I, it's 

1268
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:21,480
basically we're like, hey, kids,
come into the room, Momma's 

1269
01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:23,480
gonna leave now, and it's about 
to. 

1270
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:26,920
Happen. 
And it's grown individuals that 

1271
01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:29,400
do this. 
And it's so crazy to me because 

1272
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:33,240
I've had people try to defame my
character and like write Bunny 

1273
01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:37,520
some crazy ass shit about me. 
And she'll write me and be like,

1274
01:07:37,520 --> 01:07:39,400
do you know this person? 
And then I'll tell her what's 

1275
01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:41,960
going on and she's like, we're 
all blocking her. 

1276
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:45,360
Like everybody being like, 
imagine going to Bunny and 

1277
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,600
saying some crazy shit about me.
We're so locked in, she blocks 

1278
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:50,120
you from every platform. 
She has. 

1279
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:53,080
Where did you think you were 
successful in that? 

1280
01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:56,800
And like, I haven't spoke on 
that publicly recently, happened

1281
01:07:56,800 --> 01:08:00,560
a few months ago, and like me 
and her have been writing for so

1282
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:03,040
long now that it's like she 
knows where my heart is. 

1283
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:06,480
She knows who the fuck I am. 
But it's crazy to me how many 

1284
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:10,440
people would be like hey Bunny, 
help me do this, Hey Bunny, do 

1285
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:12,880
this, do that. 
And like we all know a person 

1286
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:16,200
that when you tag a photographer
or tag someone, they go follow 

1287
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,960
everyone. 
Yes, go follow every piece of 

1288
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,359
the pie. 
And that happens to me all the 

1289
01:08:21,359 --> 01:08:23,840
fucking time locally. 
Like I'll shoot with a nobody 

1290
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:26,000
photographer. 
I'll get them on the mat next 

1291
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:29,040
thing you know. 10 shoots will 
come by on my feed and it's 

1292
01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:31,600
people I know shooting with this
photographer. 

1293
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:33,800
Oh yeah. 
Use my name, act like you know 

1294
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:36,800
me, whatever. 
But The thing is, is like, I 

1295
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:40,080
would never try to take 
someone's recipe and like, make 

1296
01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:42,760
it my own and then sell it back 
to people and that, yes. 

1297
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,080
With like that, don't make 
sense. 

1298
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,439
I gave you the recipe for free, 
and now you're trying to spell 

1299
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:51,920
what I gave to you for free. 
And like, that's where we're 

1300
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:55,720
trying to only align with, like 
empowering bitches who are like.

1301
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:58,160
This is me. 
You can take it or leave it. 

1302
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:01,319
You can kick rocks or you can 
stay whichever one you want to 

1303
01:09:01,319 --> 01:09:02,640
do. 
It's not going to phase me. 

1304
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:06,000
And like I said, you made a post
and lost 2000 followers. 

1305
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:10,880
I've noticed recently I haven't 
had any drive for TikTok because

1306
01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:15,680
TikTok has gotten so salesy like
with every Oh my God, it's every

1307
01:09:15,720 --> 01:09:18,640
other post. 
Celsius fuck. 

1308
01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:22,080
And like, you know, I literally 
loved Tiktok in the beginning. 

1309
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:26,720
Like, put so much energy into it
and then I just backed off and 

1310
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:29,080
I, you know, almost had 50K on 
there. 

1311
01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:33,439
But it's like I was proud about 
my 2 million likes, like my 1.9 

1312
01:09:33,439 --> 01:09:35,120
million likes. 
But that's what made me proud, 

1313
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:38,760
'cause I was getting interaction
from a small niche that then 

1314
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:43,319
blew up and now it's like every.
Fucking person under the sun 

1315
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:46,399
doing stuff because they think 
it works for other people. 

1316
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,040
And that's what I don't like 
about the Internet as much 

1317
01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:51,600
anymore, where I'm trying to 
keep a lot more private. 

1318
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:54,680
Like the big changes that I make
or the goals that we have. 

1319
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:59,000
Like not just telling everyone 
everything, because a lot of the

1320
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,840
times it's the people 
gatekeeping the. 

1321
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:05,080
Bullshit that like. 
They're stealing it anyways, 

1322
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:07,560
like they're keeping it a 
secret, but they stole it from 

1323
01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:10,040
someone else. 
And you know, there's just so 

1324
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:14,400
much going on with TikTok 
wanting a cut of your profits. 

1325
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:16,920
Like join the TikTok shop. 
I get that every day. 

1326
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:20,160
And since I won't join the 
TikTok shop, they've shadow 

1327
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:22,200
banned me. 
Like now I have 50,000 

1328
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:25,400
followers, I get 300 views. 
It's like, OK, yeah, see, I 

1329
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:28,200
joined the shop. 
But you will not catch me 

1330
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:30,440
fucking doing anything. 
That's why people all the time. 

1331
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:33,800
Oh, your shirt. 
I probably have an affiliate 

1332
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:37,520
link for every fucking brand 
that I wear all the way down to 

1333
01:10:37,520 --> 01:10:39,840
alcohol that I drink. 
I have an affiliate link. 

1334
01:10:40,440 --> 01:10:42,400
I'm not going to sit there and 
copy and paste my God damn 

1335
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:43,760
affiliate link. 
I'm just going to tell you where

1336
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:44,200
to go. 
Get it? 

1337
01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:46,360
Yeah. 
Why do I need a cut? 

1338
01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:47,480
Just go get it. 
You like it? 

1339
01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:49,320
Go get it. 
Go support the company who makes

1340
01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:50,520
it. 
I'm just fucking wearing it. 

1341
01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:53,520
I ain't doing shit. 
Yeah, that shit with TikTok, I 

1342
01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:56,440
told Jim and I I bought some 
slime like my inner target. 

1343
01:10:57,360 --> 01:11:01,120
They got me on the slum so when 
I went to it I could have gotten

1344
01:11:01,120 --> 01:11:03,920
it through a TikTok shop, like 
through the shop link, but I 

1345
01:11:03,920 --> 01:11:06,240
just went straight to their 
website and bought it directly 

1346
01:11:06,240 --> 01:11:09,560
from them so they. 
Did not get a cut of that, but 

1347
01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:12,240
it's like I won't jump through 
Tik Tok's hoops anymore. 

1348
01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:17,320
They just are like fuck you. 
I've been finding OK, so I'm 

1349
01:11:17,320 --> 01:11:25,440
about to try and punk the system
because my friend does a. 

1350
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:29,880
OK, I can't give all the details
on it, but she makes a product 

1351
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:32,160
and she just asked me if I would
be a business partner on what 

1352
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,520
she does. 
Because I make like witchcraft 

1353
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:37,520
boxes and guest boxes for my 
other podcast and we want to 

1354
01:11:37,520 --> 01:11:41,680
start one here. 
And so I was like, well, what we

1355
01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:46,840
should do is because they want 
you to be like promoting shops 

1356
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:49,120
and stuff, like that's the way 
that they're doing views on 

1357
01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:51,120
Tiktok. 
So I told her. 

1358
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:55,680
We should create a business page
on TikTok and we should make it 

1359
01:11:55,680 --> 01:12:01,320
so that we're able to make ads 
or commercials or whatever from 

1360
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:05,280
our personal and link our 
business shop because that's 

1361
01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:08,840
going to drive views to the 
business shop. 

1362
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:12,120
People are going to order there.
And then it's also going to 

1363
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:15,240
boost our shit because it's 
showing that we have eligible 

1364
01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:18,560
for Commission posts. 
And I hope that there are people

1365
01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:21,280
who go and follow the business 
page and are like. 

1366
01:12:21,720 --> 01:12:23,280
Fuck TikTok. 
I'm going to go to their 

1367
01:12:23,280 --> 01:12:26,960
website, but if you don't get it
on fucking TikTok and it makes 

1368
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:29,680
me not shadow banned anymore and
so here we go. 

1369
01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:32,560
Not only that, but then you get 
the tik toks I've commissioned 

1370
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:33,120
too. 
So you're. 

1371
01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:36,160
Technically you and then yeah, 
if it's pennies, all the dollar 

1372
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:38,120
and. 
Come off the videos, plus try to

1373
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:40,560
get in the shop. 
You all can suck my Dick. 

1374
01:12:40,560 --> 01:12:43,840
I'm going to find a loophole. 
The thing in the beginning of 

1375
01:12:43,840 --> 01:12:48,360
TikTok is like organically you 
could go viral, but never 

1376
01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:50,800
Instagram started selling the 
blue check marks. 

1377
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:53,640
Tiktok was like, no, we need a 
piece of this pie. 

1378
01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:57,040
And then they completely have no
organic growth. 

1379
01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:00,120
And that's what frustrates me 
the most about that platform and

1380
01:13:00,120 --> 01:13:04,680
Instagram that like I literally 
get shouted out by people with 

1381
01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:10,120
millions of followers regularly 
and and like still can't break 

1382
01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:13,000
10K. 
It's like Instagram does not 

1383
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:15,320
want to let me shine. 
Like how do you get posted? 

1384
01:13:16,120 --> 01:13:19,080
Like I was on Bunny's story 
earlier this week. 1.2 million 

1385
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:20,840
followers, and you're telling me
that? 

1386
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:24,400
Not anyone is seeing that. 
Not that everyone's going to 

1387
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,480
follow me and I'm not saying 
that, but I'm just like they 

1388
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:29,440
make sure that they're not 
showing certain things to 

1389
01:13:29,440 --> 01:13:31,800
certain people. 
But if like you do a 

1390
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:37,120
collaborator post with, you 
know, Revlon or whoever, Ugg 

1391
01:13:37,200 --> 01:13:40,280
boots or whatever, then it just 
organically has a million views.

1392
01:13:40,280 --> 01:13:43,200
Like, no. 
Like you're the brands that you 

1393
01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:47,360
get paid by. 
I literally just experienced 

1394
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:51,040
that because after losing the 
amount of followers I did from 

1395
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:55,600
that photo shoot, the bloody 
photo shoot, but my tip my not 

1396
01:13:55,600 --> 01:13:58,800
my tips talk, my Instagram has 
been really stagnant. 

1397
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:03,160
Like I I have struggled with 
Instagram for so long and then 

1398
01:14:03,160 --> 01:14:05,720
losing those followers, I was 
like whatever bye, you know what

1399
01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:07,200
I mean? 
Like it is like I can't get 

1400
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:10,280
shit. 
Anyways, I did that post for 

1401
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:14,960
Solon Angels. 
They reposted my photo, they 

1402
01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:17,240
tagged me, but they didn't 
collaborate. 

1403
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:25,520
And I've got 3000 followers in 
the last five days, but same 

1404
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:29,640
thing. 
I've had huge accounts, so not 

1405
01:14:29,640 --> 01:14:32,320
stolen clothing with 1,000,000 
followers didn't repost me, it 

1406
01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:34,360
was stolen angels. 
Now they have a good following. 

1407
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:38,080
They really do. 
But I've had people who have 

1408
01:14:38,080 --> 01:14:41,480
millions of followers just like 
you say, repost me in their 

1409
01:14:41,480 --> 01:14:44,520
stories, Do this, do that. 
And it's like you do. 

1410
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:47,440
You sit there and you're like 
damn, like not even 5, not even 

1411
01:14:47,440 --> 01:14:50,360
5 people wanted to come over and
check out my page like that 

1412
01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:53,440
seems weird and they're really 
hooked on. 

1413
01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:55,480
I think it might be. 
What I've heard is because it's 

1414
01:14:55,480 --> 01:14:58,960
the holiday season right now, so
if it hasn't to do with 

1415
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:02,960
something to buy, something to 
sell, and it's somehow is a 

1416
01:15:02,960 --> 01:15:07,160
Commission based through that 
site, that's what's being pushed

1417
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:10,800
right now because it's holidays.
Speaking of being able to buy 

1418
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:12,040
things, do you have an only 
fans? 

1419
01:15:12,560 --> 01:15:16,800
I do. 
This holiday season, do you? 

1420
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:20,920
Promote it. 
Like, do you push it? 

1421
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:24,520
Yes and no. 
I used to do it a lot on 

1422
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:27,080
Instagram and Instagram, sort of
flagging a lot of even in my 

1423
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:29,320
stories, they sort of removing 
those posts, which I thought 

1424
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:31,440
were dumb. 
So Twitter is pretty much where 

1425
01:15:31,440 --> 01:15:33,800
I do more. 
Like if I have like my sales or 

1426
01:15:33,800 --> 01:15:35,800
my promos, I push it a lot 
through Twitter do. 

1427
01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:38,160
You have a big Twitter 
following. 

1428
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:42,960
I think I'm at like 13.1000. 
It's not like the biggest, but 

1429
01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:46,320
it's a decent community. 
What kind of things you do on 

1430
01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:48,640
your only fans. 
You do like the whole enchilada 

1431
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,520
or you just like rice and beans 
on the side? 

1432
01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:52,680
That's not just because you're 
Mexican, but that sure sounded 

1433
01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:54,960
like it. 
I I do all of it. 

1434
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:58,760
Yeah, I knew you were. 
See if we took the pop and pussy

1435
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:02,640
things. 
Are you Are you on there with 

1436
01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:06,040
your partner or are you? 
OK, so it's a joint thing. 

1437
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:09,120
I've been noticing a lot of 
couples are like popping up on 

1438
01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:12,480
the only fans together. 
I think that's really, like, 

1439
01:16:12,520 --> 01:16:15,600
amazing because it's like a 
relationship building intimacy, 

1440
01:16:15,600 --> 01:16:18,240
passion, and you're making money
off of it. 

1441
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:20,880
OK, well look, I will say Look, 
without taking away like the 

1442
01:16:20,880 --> 01:16:24,480
lust and the fun and the allure 
of it, when you make that 

1443
01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:28,160
content with your partner, in 
the beginning you're like videos

1444
01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:30,960
and then afterwards, like, God 
damn it, you fucking did pause 

1445
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:33,560
the video. 
Like, no, you did it wrong. 

1446
01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:35,400
I wanted to smack my ass like 
this. 

1447
01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:37,560
If it looks like this, it looks 
that good at the camera. 

1448
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:40,880
And like, there's a lot of stops
and pauses to get that shit 

1449
01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:43,200
right. 
And so I will say it does get a 

1450
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:45,080
little frustrating. 
But I mean, there's times where 

1451
01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:46,880
you're just like, fuck it. 
I don't care the angles or how 

1452
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:47,360
it looks. 
Good. 

1453
01:16:47,360 --> 01:16:48,800
It's, you know, it's hot. 
It's hot. 

1454
01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:52,240
But yeah, when you do it with 
your partner, like I'm kind of 

1455
01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:53,560
an asshole. 
I'm not going to lie, you know 

1456
01:16:53,560 --> 01:16:55,200
what I mean? 
So, like, if I wanted you to 

1457
01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:58,320
choke me a certain way and I 
felt like you should have 

1458
01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:01,240
grabbed here and you kind of 
went too low here and it didn't 

1459
01:17:01,240 --> 01:17:05,440
look good, stop redo. 
I knew it to look better. 

1460
01:17:06,640 --> 01:17:09,280
Did you hop on the only fans 
during COVID or were you on 

1461
01:17:09,280 --> 01:17:14,480
their prior? 
I've been on only fans for since

1462
01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,680
2021. 
I think. 

1463
01:17:16,680 --> 01:17:20,080
I did it right before COVID 
started I think, but I could be 

1464
01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:22,600
wrong. 
COVID started in 2020. 

1465
01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:26,080
Oh, OK, So yeah, never mind. 
I was a year into it. 

1466
01:17:27,120 --> 01:17:29,000
At home, probably still on 
lockdown. 

1467
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,480
Like, what are we doing? 
We're fucking. 

1468
01:17:30,480 --> 01:17:33,560
We may as well. 
To be fair, a lot of people. 

1469
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:36,840
This is where the big change 
with like that cute little sweet

1470
01:17:36,840 --> 01:17:39,520
girl next door Who this cute 
little innocent girl. 

1471
01:17:39,520 --> 01:17:41,760
When I dropped that, I had only 
fans. 

1472
01:17:41,920 --> 01:17:46,320
People lost their fucking minds.
How could I? 

1473
01:17:46,640 --> 01:17:48,920
Little did they know. 
Literally since the moment I was

1474
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:51,760
like 19 years old, I've been 
doing webcam work my whole 

1475
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,320
fucking life. 
Like, are you kidding me? 

1476
01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:58,280
I don't have to now sit here on 
a scheduled time to do my porn. 

1477
01:17:58,280 --> 01:18:00,080
I can just record it and submit 
it. 

1478
01:18:00,080 --> 01:18:02,680
Whatever. 
Yeah, Hell yeah. 

1479
01:18:05,840 --> 01:18:07,720
I. 
Recently saw an interview with 

1480
01:18:07,720 --> 01:18:12,960
this guy who films porn and he 
was talking about like, you 

1481
01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:15,720
know, people, his buddies will 
be like, oh man, you have the 

1482
01:18:15,720 --> 01:18:19,080
best job ever. 
And he's like you literally like

1483
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:21,680
become numb to the fact that 
people are having sex in front 

1484
01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:24,800
of you because you are so 
focused on the lighting and how 

1485
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:27,600
it looks in the monitor. 
And Oh well, she shouldn't do 

1486
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:30,080
that face because that looks 
real weird even though she's 

1487
01:18:30,080 --> 01:18:32,600
into it. 
And like, he's like the faces 

1488
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:35,040
that. 
These girls making stuff in the 

1489
01:18:35,040 --> 01:18:39,080
videos, we have to coach them to
make them because those are not 

1490
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:42,640
like their authentic enjoying it
faces. 

1491
01:18:42,640 --> 01:18:44,480
And we have to be like, don't 
enjoy it too much. 

1492
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:46,160
You're here for, you know, a 
movie. 

1493
01:18:46,160 --> 01:18:47,600
You're an actor. 
Yep. 

1494
01:18:48,120 --> 01:18:51,200
Oh, no, 1000% porn is so fake, 
like on, like, the Internet. 

1495
01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:54,280
I think that's one of the main 
reasons why only fans is as 

1496
01:18:54,280 --> 01:18:58,360
popular as it is. 
Because I'm to me, I feel like 

1497
01:18:58,360 --> 01:19:02,240
people are starting to realize, 
like, yeah, porn can be great. 

1498
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:05,760
Like, you can watch a great porn
out, but you know that it's 

1499
01:19:05,760 --> 01:19:07,360
fake. 
Like you can just see it. 

1500
01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:10,320
You can hear it. 
Only fans, even though it's all 

1501
01:19:10,360 --> 01:19:14,640
amateur porn for the most part, 
you're getting real shit at this

1502
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:15,840
point. 
It's real. 

1503
01:19:17,200 --> 01:19:20,320
Do you do collaborations with 
other girls for your only fans? 

1504
01:19:20,560 --> 01:19:24,000
So I've been trying to find some
in Texas I can't like. 

1505
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:26,440
I feel like I have not been able
to all far away. 

1506
01:19:27,040 --> 01:19:30,760
And talk about, right? 
That's, that's what I'm saying. 

1507
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:33,400
I've been trying to find people.
I finally found actually, one 

1508
01:19:33,400 --> 01:19:34,400
bottle. 
It's funny because her names 

1509
01:19:34,440 --> 01:19:38,760
change the model here in Texas 
and I'm helping her outgrowing 

1510
01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:40,920
her only fans right now because 
she just started it. 

1511
01:19:40,920 --> 01:19:43,080
So I'm trying to help her out 
and I was like, bitch 

1512
01:19:43,080 --> 01:19:44,840
collaborate. 
I'm like, I don't know what 

1513
01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:47,040
you're into like if you don't 
want to do it, we don't got to 

1514
01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:48,960
do it. 
But like at least take some sexy

1515
01:19:48,960 --> 01:19:50,640
photos with me. 
Like, fuck like. 

1516
01:19:52,440 --> 01:19:55,480
Are you looking for a specific 
type of model, like like an 

1517
01:19:55,600 --> 01:19:58,160
alternative model like yourself?
Or are you looking just for 

1518
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:00,680
people that you're attracted to,
or just people that you think 

1519
01:20:00,680 --> 01:20:02,760
would be good for your only 
fans? 

1520
01:20:03,160 --> 01:20:05,920
To be honest, it's just people I
feel like I would fight with and

1521
01:20:05,920 --> 01:20:08,040
I'm attracted to. 
Like I don't want like I don't 

1522
01:20:08,040 --> 01:20:10,600
give a fuck if you are 
alternative. 

1523
01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:12,120
I don't give a fuck if you have 
a million followers. 

1524
01:20:12,120 --> 01:20:13,640
I don't give a fuck if you got 5
followers. 

1525
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:15,000
I don't care. 
I will. 

1526
01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:18,000
I have to vibe with that person.
And then especially like if it 

1527
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:20,520
goes into like if hey, if we're 
going to collab like with my 

1528
01:20:20,520 --> 01:20:23,040
husband as well like I have to 
vibe with you. 

1529
01:20:23,320 --> 01:20:26,280
Like we got to be on a good vibe
level because otherwise, like 

1530
01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:27,520
it's just, it ain't going to be 
it. 

1531
01:20:29,240 --> 01:20:33,000
The inner me right now is like, 
are you guys interviewing each 

1532
01:20:33,080 --> 01:20:36,880
other for Paige to go down to 
Texas and lick your biscuit? 

1533
01:20:36,880 --> 01:20:41,840
Because I will. 
I've been trying to. 

1534
01:20:41,840 --> 01:20:44,640
I've been telling her since we 
started the podcast that she 

1535
01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:47,560
could be making dough on there 
because everybody loves her. 

1536
01:20:47,560 --> 01:20:51,480
She already has the cherry logo.
If it was like contraries 

1537
01:20:51,480 --> 01:20:56,480
popping your chariot only fans, 
Oh my God, I love that. 

1538
01:20:56,560 --> 01:21:01,440
That's cute. 
So the only fans thing for me is

1539
01:21:01,440 --> 01:21:05,200
like. 
I have a real life job and 

1540
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:10,000
career and it's already been 
exclusively expressed from my 

1541
01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:13,720
boss that if he ever found out I
had an only fans, he would fire 

1542
01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:16,680
me and I'll. 
Like whatever these girls are 

1543
01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:19,800
making our only fans, you ain't 
making it with the four O 1K 

1544
01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:23,160
above board like not having to 
do all that extra like that. 

1545
01:21:23,160 --> 01:21:25,840
I'm making. 
So like if I ever got to a point

1546
01:21:25,840 --> 01:21:29,320
where like I wasn't making that 
type of money, didn't have that 

1547
01:21:29,320 --> 01:21:31,960
type of healthcare and and all 
the benefits that I have. 

1548
01:21:32,240 --> 01:21:34,520
Because on only fans like if you
ain't working you ain't making 

1549
01:21:34,520 --> 01:21:36,200
money. 
Yes, it's a revolving door, but 

1550
01:21:36,200 --> 01:21:41,000
people want you to keep upping 
the ante and like subscribing. 

1551
01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:43,680
Because I've heard from people 
that like for the first three to

1552
01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:45,560
four months, people cut you some
slack. 

1553
01:21:45,640 --> 01:21:47,440
But then they're like, do you 
have anything where someone 

1554
01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:49,920
pisses on you or someone does 
this or someone does that and it

1555
01:21:49,920 --> 01:21:54,600
just keeps escalating until you 
are doing absolutely anything 

1556
01:21:54,600 --> 01:21:55,840
and everything that you could 
do? 

1557
01:21:55,880 --> 01:21:59,840
And I think, you know, having a 
good following is important. 

1558
01:22:00,040 --> 01:22:03,160
But at the same time, like most 
of the weirdo creeps that would 

1559
01:22:03,160 --> 01:22:06,640
subscribe to my only fans are 
literally people I fucking know 

1560
01:22:06,640 --> 01:22:09,520
or went to school with or 
people's husbands. 

1561
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:12,800
And I just don't rock with that.
Like, honestly, I feel like my 

1562
01:22:12,800 --> 01:22:15,480
main. 
Criteria would be people here in

1563
01:22:15,480 --> 01:22:20,120
Kentucky that are like, not even
on the scale of people I want to

1564
01:22:20,120 --> 01:22:23,720
interact with in a sexual way or
even talk to or them talk to me 

1565
01:22:23,720 --> 01:22:27,000
that way, 'cause it just grosses
me out because no. 

1566
01:22:27,240 --> 01:22:29,960
But at the same time, I've 
always said, like, I'm building 

1567
01:22:29,960 --> 01:22:32,720
my modeling portfolio and 
there's a lot of like nude and 

1568
01:22:32,720 --> 01:22:35,160
behind the scenes stuff that 
people don't ever see. 

1569
01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:38,880
And one day, whenever I'm older,
I may just come out with all 

1570
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:42,160
this like amateur young me, like
building up and yeah. 

1571
01:22:43,080 --> 01:22:46,400
I'm like, they'll come, but at 
the same time, like I know 

1572
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:49,320
people start it and they'll 
they'll charge $5.10 dollars, 

1573
01:22:49,320 --> 01:22:51,600
$15. 
And it's kind of like what we do

1574
01:22:51,600 --> 01:22:54,680
on Patreon, except I'm fully 
clothed and I'm doing something 

1575
01:22:54,680 --> 01:22:58,600
I'm really passionate about and 
people are paying me like 200 

1576
01:22:58,600 --> 01:23:00,720
plus dollars a month. 
And I'm just like no one, not 

1577
01:23:00,720 --> 01:23:02,200
only fans, is ready to drop that
money. 

1578
01:23:02,200 --> 01:23:06,600
These people want to spend $10 
and see you do the most and 

1579
01:23:06,760 --> 01:23:08,760
like. 
I don't know what you charge, 

1580
01:23:08,760 --> 01:23:12,680
but I see most people charge 10 
to $15 and I just feel like I'm 

1581
01:23:12,680 --> 01:23:15,560
already making like way more 
than that on Patreon and I just 

1582
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:18,360
don't even. 
Yeah, I run, I run 2 pages. 

1583
01:23:18,360 --> 01:23:21,280
I have a free page and I have 
the subscription page, my free 

1584
01:23:21,280 --> 01:23:22,520
page. 
You just get to see me in 

1585
01:23:22,520 --> 01:23:24,800
lingerie. 
Now you can choose to buy stuff 

1586
01:23:24,920 --> 01:23:27,920
individually like in the 
messages or like I'll make the 

1587
01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:31,200
post where you can unblock it 
but you bet your ass it's three 

1588
01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:35,000
times the amount that it is on 
my main page because you ain't 

1589
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:37,600
going to come in here and 
subscribe for free and buy a 

1590
01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:40,720
fucking photo set for $5. 
Ain't no mother fucking way like

1591
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:43,640
you're going to pay more now if 
you're subscribed. 

1592
01:23:43,960 --> 01:23:47,560
I still do my PP VS but I I 
literally I started, I think I 

1593
01:23:47,560 --> 01:23:50,680
started it at 20 bucks and then 
yes, over the years I've 

1594
01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:52,840
actually dropped it. 
I think I'm at $12.00 a month 

1595
01:23:52,840 --> 01:23:56,520
right now is what mine cost I 
but I'm constantly running 

1596
01:23:56,520 --> 01:23:58,960
fucking promos constantly. 
So I think it really sits at 

1597
01:23:58,960 --> 01:24:02,960
like $9.60 a month is pretty 
much what I charge. 

1598
01:24:03,480 --> 01:24:06,120
And then on the main page I 
originally started with like oh,

1599
01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:09,160
lingerie like covered everything
up like cover, cover, then you 

1600
01:24:09,160 --> 01:24:11,280
have to pay for more. 
And I was like they only get one

1601
01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:13,880
nipple at a time and I was like 
OK fine, they can have both 

1602
01:24:13,880 --> 01:24:15,840
nipples. 
OK fine, they can have my butt. 

1603
01:24:16,000 --> 01:24:20,840
OK fine I'll spread it for you. 
But now like I still do. 

1604
01:24:20,840 --> 01:24:24,400
Like you could still see it all 
on the main page, but like any 

1605
01:24:24,400 --> 01:24:29,560
type of videos or like actual 
good photo sets, you still got 

1606
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:32,960
paid for those but they don't 
ever go over $10 because I'm 

1607
01:24:32,960 --> 01:24:34,720
like you're already paying a 
subscription fee. 

1608
01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:37,520
Like you're not going to want to
pay again and again and again 

1609
01:24:37,520 --> 01:24:39,400
and again for all of these other
things. 

1610
01:24:39,400 --> 01:24:44,120
So unless I make like a fucking 
1520 minute long video and it 

1611
01:24:44,120 --> 01:24:47,560
going over 10 bucks. 
But I'll tell you what I'm I 

1612
01:24:47,560 --> 01:24:49,680
make, I make 6 figures on there 
A. 

1613
01:24:50,920 --> 01:24:53,480
Month. 
Oh God, I fucking wish it was a 

1614
01:24:53,480 --> 01:24:55,640
month. 
Oh, I was like, damn Mommy. 

1615
01:24:55,760 --> 01:24:57,800
I was like, OK, I'm going to fly
out. 

1616
01:24:57,800 --> 01:25:00,440
We'll keep this on the low. 
I wish. 

1617
01:25:00,760 --> 01:25:03,920
I fucking wish it was a month. 
No, But I make up six figures a 

1618
01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:06,280
year on there, which I feel like
if. 

1619
01:25:06,360 --> 01:25:08,880
I mean it's pretty fucking good.
Like, I'm not mad at it. 

1620
01:25:09,000 --> 01:25:13,280
Yeah, but I'm not mad. 
You know, I know like when Bunny

1621
01:25:13,280 --> 01:25:16,760
had her free page, she said that
more people would purchase from 

1622
01:25:16,760 --> 01:25:19,560
the free page or tip. 
From the free page because they 

1623
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:21,880
think they're getting something 
for free and then they want to 

1624
01:25:21,880 --> 01:25:25,000
spend money versus the people on
the paid page. 

1625
01:25:25,280 --> 01:25:29,120
And then she also like when she 
shut down her only fans, she was

1626
01:25:29,120 --> 01:25:31,720
like, I'm directing all my 
energy towards Patreon and she 

1627
01:25:31,720 --> 01:25:34,000
is making six figures a month on
Patreon. 

1628
01:25:34,280 --> 01:25:37,240
And so like for funsies, I'll 
sometimes calculate out like if 

1629
01:25:37,240 --> 01:25:41,480
you've got 40,000 members times 
$5, that's 200,000 or whatever 

1630
01:25:41,480 --> 01:25:42,800
it is. 
It's like we'll do all these 

1631
01:25:42,800 --> 01:25:46,240
little math games. 
But the crazy thing for me is 

1632
01:25:46,240 --> 01:25:48,400
when I see people on only fans 
that say they're. 

1633
01:25:48,480 --> 01:25:52,960
Charging $10 and they are. 
They have 2500 followers on 

1634
01:25:52,960 --> 01:25:56,760
there because that's $25,000 a 
month, that's why. 

1635
01:25:57,000 --> 01:25:59,680
People lowered their money. 
Right like that on there like 

1636
01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:03,840
have you had a 20,000 per month,
Here's the thing, So no and 

1637
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:08,920
that's I'm going to be so blunt.
I make great money on only for 

1638
01:26:08,920 --> 01:26:12,600
like what I do. 
My phone I have met. 

1639
01:26:12,760 --> 01:26:16,560
I can't tell you with how many 
managers, how many people, but I

1640
01:26:16,560 --> 01:26:20,280
finally found out why. 
I did find out why I get 

1641
01:26:20,280 --> 01:26:25,560
probably about 2000 views a day,
like like people click on my 

1642
01:26:25,560 --> 01:26:30,080
only fans page, there's a 
website going around and if you 

1643
01:26:30,080 --> 01:26:32,720
Google me you can see me naked 
for free. 

1644
01:26:33,720 --> 01:26:37,600
They came into my only fans and 
they screenshotted a bunch of 

1645
01:26:37,600 --> 01:26:44,320
shit and it's all over Google. 
That fucked up my income because

1646
01:26:44,320 --> 01:26:47,480
now a lot of violation, right? 
And I tried. 

1647
01:26:47,480 --> 01:26:49,240
I tried to e-mail the company. 
It is what it is. 

1648
01:26:49,480 --> 01:26:51,840
But what I joke about now, when 
people are like, oh, you know, 

1649
01:26:51,840 --> 01:26:53,400
your shits. 
I'm like, yeah, but it got my 

1650
01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:55,840
new titties. 
It don't have my new booty. 

1651
01:26:55,840 --> 01:26:58,200
It don't have any of my new 
fucking tattoos. 

1652
01:26:58,200 --> 01:27:00,600
It don't got my new lips. 
You seeing some old shit? 

1653
01:27:00,680 --> 01:27:03,600
You seeing that amateur shit? 
You should see the shit I posted

1654
01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:06,920
now because it's not a lie. 
It's not like way fucking better

1655
01:27:06,920 --> 01:27:11,720
make it now. 
But nobody can figure out why. 

1656
01:27:12,040 --> 01:27:14,280
I literally try to be so fucking
creative. 

1657
01:27:14,280 --> 01:27:18,360
And I like my even just my open 
wall on my, like my actual main 

1658
01:27:18,360 --> 01:27:20,960
page. 
It is so there's so many 

1659
01:27:20,960 --> 01:27:22,480
different things going on all 
the time. 

1660
01:27:22,480 --> 01:27:25,520
Like I'm never doing the same 
thing, of constantly trying to 

1661
01:27:25,520 --> 01:27:28,400
change it or trying to change 
locations of where I'm doing 

1662
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,240
things. 
But yeah, I don't. 

1663
01:27:31,240 --> 01:27:33,600
I don't know what it is. 
I think it also has to do with 

1664
01:27:33,600 --> 01:27:36,760
because of the fact that I don't
do a lot of collaborations too, 

1665
01:27:36,760 --> 01:27:40,720
though with other men. 
And that's where I think a lot 

1666
01:27:40,720 --> 01:27:44,680
of people get butt hurt is 
because one not only does it 

1667
01:27:44,680 --> 01:27:48,240
kind of ruin like the oh shit, 
one day she might fuck me 

1668
01:27:48,240 --> 01:27:49,840
because she's fucking other 
dudes. 

1669
01:27:49,840 --> 01:27:53,920
So it ruins that kind of fantasy
that oh, there's a possibility, 

1670
01:27:54,880 --> 01:27:57,760
but a lot of people like her 
just kind of like it's the same 

1671
01:27:57,760 --> 01:28:00,600
two people. 
So like, you know, it's. 

1672
01:28:01,040 --> 01:28:04,080
I try to keep it very fresh. 
Like I said, I mean I'm making 

1673
01:28:04,080 --> 01:28:06,520
six figures a year. 
It's fucking great. 

1674
01:28:06,520 --> 01:28:09,760
I make good money. 
Do I want to make more fucking 

1675
01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:10,840
A? 
Yeah, I do. 

1676
01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:13,840
I mean my free page. 
I tried that because I thought 

1677
01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:15,760
the same thing people are going 
to want. 

1678
01:28:15,760 --> 01:28:18,240
If you can buy all the cart, 
even if you want to see me naked

1679
01:28:18,240 --> 01:28:19,840
once, well, now you have the 
free page. 

1680
01:28:19,840 --> 01:28:22,880
You get super spicy photos of me
like, almost naked. 

1681
01:28:23,120 --> 01:28:25,320
And if you want to see me naked,
you can buy it every once in a 

1682
01:28:25,320 --> 01:28:28,600
blue moon. 
I've I've made like almost no 

1683
01:28:28,600 --> 01:28:33,040
sales on my free page. 
Like these mother fuckers do not

1684
01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:34,240
want to buy shit on my free 
page. 

1685
01:28:34,280 --> 01:28:36,920
I think I've made like a total 
and I only have my free page up 

1686
01:28:36,960 --> 01:28:40,360
for two months, 2-3 months and I
think I've only made like 500 

1687
01:28:40,360 --> 01:28:44,960
bucks off my free page. 
I'm like y'all ain't y'all 

1688
01:28:44,960 --> 01:28:47,560
really ain't trying like I'm 
like damn, like I just dropped 

1689
01:28:47,560 --> 01:28:50,720
like you know 15 photos and 
three videos and it's only 20 

1690
01:28:50,720 --> 01:28:51,600
bucks. 
Y'all ain't what? 

1691
01:28:53,040 --> 01:28:56,760
Yeah, it's wild. 
Do you think it's over 

1692
01:28:56,760 --> 01:28:59,960
saturation of the market though?
Like whenever it started in the 

1693
01:28:59,960 --> 01:29:02,520
pandemic ever, I was popping 
their shit, but then I didn't 

1694
01:29:02,520 --> 01:29:05,520
know Cardi B has one, she said. 
It's like, I don't know, 

1695
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:08,160
$500,000 a month or some shit. 
Totally. 

1696
01:29:08,160 --> 01:29:10,520
Because making millions a year 
on only fans. 

1697
01:29:11,440 --> 01:29:13,600
I I wouldn't say it's over 
saturation. 

1698
01:29:14,440 --> 01:29:18,640
I would say it's more of like if
I go viral on Tiktok from a 

1699
01:29:18,640 --> 01:29:22,520
thirst trap, my subscribers 
fucking skyrocket for that one. 

1700
01:29:23,200 --> 01:29:26,080
But I think, and nowadays, 
because porn is so easily 

1701
01:29:26,080 --> 01:29:29,640
accessible and you really can't 
see anybody and everybody you 

1702
01:29:29,640 --> 01:29:33,880
want, these mother fuckers are 
coming and they're watching and 

1703
01:29:33,880 --> 01:29:37,760
they enjoy the month, but when 
the month is over, where are 

1704
01:29:37,760 --> 01:29:39,240
they going to stay? 
They've already seen it all, 

1705
01:29:39,800 --> 01:29:41,960
They've seen it, they've already
bought the videos. 

1706
01:29:41,960 --> 01:29:45,720
So if they haven't, only fans, 
they already bought your videos 

1707
01:29:45,720 --> 01:29:48,280
for that month. 
However many you put out, if 

1708
01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:52,120
it's in their messages, even if 
they unsubscribe, that message 

1709
01:29:52,120 --> 01:29:54,200
chain is still there and they 
can still watch that video at 

1710
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:57,360
any time that they want. 
So why? 

1711
01:29:57,440 --> 01:29:59,440
You know what I mean? 
So that's what I've noticed. 

1712
01:29:59,440 --> 01:30:02,160
I have a lot of people come back
when I run my promos and things 

1713
01:30:02,160 --> 01:30:06,320
like that. 
But I don't know. 

1714
01:30:06,600 --> 01:30:08,840
I want, trust me, I want to be 
one of the motherfuckers who are

1715
01:30:08,840 --> 01:30:11,200
making like a I think I just 
want 100K months. 

1716
01:30:11,200 --> 01:30:13,760
Jesus fucking Christ. 
Could you imagine? 

1717
01:30:14,160 --> 01:30:17,000
Could you fucking imagine? 
Literally. 

1718
01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:21,160
Manifest this type of energy 
because like you know, just 

1719
01:30:21,160 --> 01:30:23,920
being a content creator, no 
matter what content you're 

1720
01:30:23,920 --> 01:30:25,840
creating, there's a market for 
it. 

1721
01:30:25,840 --> 01:30:28,440
Whether you're making part, 
making music, it doesn't matter.

1722
01:30:28,680 --> 01:30:33,480
And it literally someone once 
said to me, get prepared for 

1723
01:30:33,480 --> 01:30:36,240
your moment, even if your 
moment's not coming anytime 

1724
01:30:36,240 --> 01:30:38,040
soon. 
Because whenever the when the 

1725
01:30:38,040 --> 01:30:41,080
call comes, you don't got to get
ready anymore, you're ready. 

1726
01:30:41,720 --> 01:30:45,000
My grandma gets up every day and
puts makeup on every single day 

1727
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:46,320
because she said this could be 
the day. 

1728
01:30:46,480 --> 01:30:49,080
That something happens that I 
need to be ready for, and she 

1729
01:30:49,080 --> 01:30:52,480
put on a full face of makeup and
looks fire every day. 

1730
01:30:52,480 --> 01:30:55,000
Like people, when they see my 
grandma, they're like, no way 

1731
01:30:55,000 --> 01:30:57,280
she's in her 70s. 
Like, there's no fucking way. 

1732
01:30:57,520 --> 01:31:02,840
Because this bitch is ready and 
the craziest thing is ready. 

1733
01:31:02,880 --> 01:31:06,360
Like she is ready. 
And like, the crazy thing for me

1734
01:31:06,600 --> 01:31:10,560
is like watching people evolve 
into different arenas that they 

1735
01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:11,760
were not in, you know what I 
mean? 

1736
01:31:11,760 --> 01:31:14,400
And like the biggest ones like 
Jelly Roll starts out as like a 

1737
01:31:14,400 --> 01:31:18,160
street rapper drug dealer. 
All the way to the CM TS, Grammy

1738
01:31:18,160 --> 01:31:20,200
Awards, you know? 
And that's beautiful. 

1739
01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:23,560
I fucking love that. 
And I love to meet people such 

1740
01:31:23,560 --> 01:31:26,520
as yourself or anyone really, 
that is grinding towards 

1741
01:31:26,520 --> 01:31:29,520
something, no matter what that 
is because at the end of the 

1742
01:31:29,520 --> 01:31:32,920
day, you don't know when that 
moment's going to be for you. 

1743
01:31:32,960 --> 01:31:35,960
But if you're ready and you got 
it going like you said, that 

1744
01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:39,160
viral moment, that viral TikTok 
that you have, boost your sales.

1745
01:31:39,920 --> 01:31:42,280
That's where like Jim and I was 
always saying that I'm missing 

1746
01:31:42,280 --> 01:31:46,360
the bar on that, but I have like
a very low patience level for 

1747
01:31:46,360 --> 01:31:49,440
people, especially guys in 
general. 

1748
01:31:49,720 --> 01:31:53,080
And I just know that I could not
run the page like I just know 

1749
01:31:53,080 --> 01:31:55,120
that I would be. 
I would have to get paid. 

1750
01:31:55,560 --> 01:31:57,880
To be mean to people because 
that's the only way we're doing 

1751
01:31:57,880 --> 01:31:59,240
it. 
Because I do, I do that. 

1752
01:31:59,360 --> 01:32:00,960
I I literally. 
That's a whole niche. 

1753
01:32:00,960 --> 01:32:03,360
Yeah, that's a whole thing. 
I literally, I actually just 

1754
01:32:03,360 --> 01:32:05,880
posted on Twitter today because 
I actually just kicked one of my

1755
01:32:05,880 --> 01:32:08,080
fucking pay pigs to the fucking 
curb because he wasn't fucking 

1756
01:32:08,080 --> 01:32:10,920
paying me and I was over it. 
I literally have mother fuckers 

1757
01:32:10,920 --> 01:32:14,040
right now, actually. 
Well, it's 11:30 in Florida. 

1758
01:32:14,640 --> 01:32:17,920
I could literally right now 
probably message one of them and

1759
01:32:17,920 --> 01:32:21,120
be like do I fucking own you? 
Yes or fucking no, you piece of 

1760
01:32:21,120 --> 01:32:23,680
shit? 
Yes, ma'am, you do. 

1761
01:32:23,840 --> 01:32:27,360
OK, thank you. 
That's literally a whole fucking

1762
01:32:27,400 --> 01:32:29,200
thing. 
That's a whole fucking thing. 

1763
01:32:29,800 --> 01:32:32,080
Just it's called Fendom 
financial domination. 

1764
01:32:32,400 --> 01:32:33,960
But do it. 
You don't even have to be 

1765
01:32:33,960 --> 01:32:35,920
sexual. 
You don't have to be sexual. 

1766
01:32:36,120 --> 01:32:37,760
He's got to be a cut. 
And they love it. 

1767
01:32:38,480 --> 01:32:42,840
My question how does your 
partner feel about this? 

1768
01:32:42,920 --> 01:32:46,200
Like obviously he's cool with 
it, but like was there any like 

1769
01:32:46,600 --> 01:32:49,960
leniency or fear or like 
insecurity at any time? 

1770
01:32:49,960 --> 01:32:54,000
Oh, when he first met me and we 
were dating for like a month or 

1771
01:32:54,000 --> 01:32:55,520
so. 
And I was like, I might be 

1772
01:32:55,520 --> 01:32:57,680
getting serious. 
And I was like, hey, FYI, like, 

1773
01:32:57,760 --> 01:33:00,160
I do webcam. 
He was like, you stop or I leave

1774
01:33:00,160 --> 01:33:02,840
you straight up. 
Like ain't no fucking way. 

1775
01:33:03,240 --> 01:33:06,000
Like I'm not cool with that. 
And I was like, Oh my God, will 

1776
01:33:06,000 --> 01:33:07,720
you gonna help pay my bills or 
what? 

1777
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:12,960
Like how it's going work, babe. 
And it's slowly. 

1778
01:33:12,960 --> 01:33:16,640
For years I did stop doing it 
and then it was there was like a

1779
01:33:16,640 --> 01:33:18,640
really like rough month one 
time. 

1780
01:33:18,880 --> 01:33:20,760
And I was like, I still have my 
account. 

1781
01:33:20,760 --> 01:33:23,000
Just let me, just let me work 
tonight. 

1782
01:33:23,160 --> 01:33:25,200
Let me just show you what I can 
do. 

1783
01:33:25,840 --> 01:33:29,280
And I think I have, because it 
was like we had just moved to 

1784
01:33:29,280 --> 01:33:32,720
Texas like shit, where I just 
had my son, like things were so 

1785
01:33:32,720 --> 01:33:36,680
fucking tight, like and our bank
account had hit like -600 

1786
01:33:36,680 --> 01:33:39,040
fucking bucks. 
And I was like fuck my life. 

1787
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:40,880
I said just let me let me do 
what I need to do. 

1788
01:33:41,000 --> 01:33:43,760
Just hold on. 
I literally got up. 

1789
01:33:44,520 --> 01:33:47,560
I went out to the living room, 
worked for like 2 hours and the 

1790
01:33:47,560 --> 01:33:48,640
next morning I didn't say 
anything. 

1791
01:33:48,640 --> 01:33:50,760
The next morning I said go 
ahead, open, open up the big 

1792
01:33:50,760 --> 01:33:53,720
account and go look. 
And he was like, where the fuck 

1793
01:33:54,280 --> 01:33:58,040
he's like, so not only did you 
cover the 600, but there's like 

1794
01:33:58,040 --> 01:34:00,040
1200 dollars additional in the 
bank account right now. 

1795
01:34:00,040 --> 01:34:01,840
He's like, how late were you up?
I said it's good for the two 

1796
01:34:01,840 --> 01:34:04,240
hours. 
I said that's what I'm telling 

1797
01:34:04,240 --> 01:34:05,600
you. 
Like I I just need you to 

1798
01:34:05,600 --> 01:34:07,640
understand this. 
Like, I get, I get it. 

1799
01:34:07,640 --> 01:34:09,720
And then it was like, OK, you 
can do that. 

1800
01:34:09,720 --> 01:34:11,880
But I want limits. 
Like, there's rules. 

1801
01:34:11,880 --> 01:34:13,200
Like, I don't want you to show 
this. 

1802
01:34:13,200 --> 01:34:15,320
I don't want you to do that. 
And I was like, OK, understand. 

1803
01:34:15,440 --> 01:34:18,160
I'll try to make it comfortable.
And now that motherfucker like, 

1804
01:34:18,160 --> 01:34:20,480
hey, how are we, how am I 
fucking you tonight for the 

1805
01:34:20,480 --> 01:34:22,120
camera? 
Like, what are we doing? 

1806
01:34:22,240 --> 01:34:25,240
Like, how how are we doing this?
Are you blowing me? 

1807
01:34:25,240 --> 01:34:27,560
Are we setting a fire in the 
fireplace? 

1808
01:34:27,560 --> 01:34:32,560
Like, what are you wearing? 
I love that. 

1809
01:34:32,640 --> 01:34:35,440
That I fucking love that. 
Because I do feel like a lot of 

1810
01:34:35,440 --> 01:34:39,880
guys, especially in this new 
arena of like, sexual online 

1811
01:34:39,880 --> 01:34:43,640
content, like it brings out 
insecurities to be like, you 

1812
01:34:43,640 --> 01:34:45,960
know, when I see this thing 
float around Facebook where it's

1813
01:34:45,960 --> 01:34:49,720
like, if you ever feel like 
you're a girl or you are having 

1814
01:34:49,720 --> 01:34:52,200
issues or problems, make a 
Tinder profile with her 

1815
01:34:52,200 --> 01:34:53,200
pictures. 
Yeah. 

1816
01:34:53,800 --> 01:34:56,160
And then go ahead and let me 
know how you feel in the 

1817
01:34:56,160 --> 01:34:58,240
morning. 
And like I did the same last 

1818
01:34:58,280 --> 01:35:01,320
year, like I've been single and 
celibate and all this thing like

1819
01:35:01,400 --> 01:35:05,440
since the pandemic really. 
And last year around this time 

1820
01:35:05,600 --> 01:35:07,880
Scorpio season, I was like, I'm 
going to get on the dating app. 

1821
01:35:07,880 --> 01:35:10,360
So I'm going to meet somebody, 
I'm going to find somebody. 

1822
01:35:10,640 --> 01:35:14,040
But really I got on there and 
basically paid for the premium 

1823
01:35:14,040 --> 01:35:16,360
for one month. 
And my goal was to hit 10,000 

1824
01:35:16,360 --> 01:35:19,440
likes like to have. 
Maxed out like it was like 

1825
01:35:19,440 --> 01:35:23,880
10,000 plus likes of people that
liked me and once I got that I 

1826
01:35:23,880 --> 01:35:26,520
was like fuck everybody and I 
just shut it down and never met 

1827
01:35:26,520 --> 01:35:29,600
anyone from it. 
Like never met a man from it 

1828
01:35:29,680 --> 01:35:32,040
sexually, romantically at all, 
and. 

1829
01:35:32,120 --> 01:35:35,920
And I look around and I'm like, 
that's just such a random thing 

1830
01:35:35,920 --> 01:35:37,840
that I wanted, that I didn't 
know I wanted. 

1831
01:35:37,840 --> 01:35:40,240
But once I found out that that 
many people were ready to come 

1832
01:35:40,240 --> 01:35:42,960
over here and like, do whatever 
I wanted, I was like, oh, I'm 

1833
01:35:42,960 --> 01:35:44,000
good. 
I'm good now. 

1834
01:35:44,200 --> 01:35:47,200
You know what's so funny is so 
many people even like, for my 

1835
01:35:47,200 --> 01:35:50,120
single days and they're like, Oh
my God, like you probably slept 

1836
01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:52,560
around with so many people. 
But I'm like, motherfucker. 

1837
01:35:52,560 --> 01:35:55,920
No, I don't have a high body 
count with guys and girls. 

1838
01:35:55,920 --> 01:35:57,600
I don't. 
I'm picky as shit. 

1839
01:35:57,800 --> 01:36:02,440
But let me tell you, do I like 
to flirt when I'm single, bro, I

1840
01:36:02,760 --> 01:36:05,000
I catch. 
I catch phone numbers. 

1841
01:36:05,280 --> 01:36:07,600
I don't catch bodies. 
Like, I'm just like over here. 

1842
01:36:07,800 --> 01:36:09,720
And I'm like, oh, you do like 
me. 

1843
01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:13,520
OK, bye. 
That's how I was. 

1844
01:36:13,520 --> 01:36:14,960
And so I totally get that you 
are. 

1845
01:36:14,960 --> 01:36:17,880
You're like that. 
Many people do like me. 

1846
01:36:17,880 --> 01:36:20,200
I don't need to have sex. 
That actually literally just did

1847
01:36:20,200 --> 01:36:21,200
it for me. 
Thank you. 

1848
01:36:22,400 --> 01:36:26,160
I'm having that issue now that 
when I like someone that they 

1849
01:36:26,160 --> 01:36:28,600
like. 
When they find out I like them, 

1850
01:36:28,600 --> 01:36:30,760
then they're like, OK, that's 
good enough for my ego. 

1851
01:36:30,760 --> 01:36:33,600
Like you're not really going to 
like who I am because I'm 

1852
01:36:33,600 --> 01:36:36,760
probably hyping myself up. 
I'm portraying myself different.

1853
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:40,200
I'm showing my good side. 
And I had a guy like in the last

1854
01:36:40,200 --> 01:36:43,920
couple months that I kind of had
this crush on and we met in real

1855
01:36:43,920 --> 01:36:45,480
life. 
He wanted me to come meet all 

1856
01:36:45,480 --> 01:36:47,120
his friends, which I thought was
weird. 

1857
01:36:47,120 --> 01:36:48,800
But I'm like, OK, cool, I'll 
come meet all your friends. 

1858
01:36:49,000 --> 01:36:51,600
Then he leaves. 
He leaves me with all his 

1859
01:36:51,600 --> 01:36:54,360
friends, just leaves like 2 
hours end up hanging out he 

1860
01:36:54,360 --> 01:36:56,440
leaves. 
And then starts hitting me up on

1861
01:36:56,440 --> 01:36:59,000
Snapchat, talking to me and all 
his friends are like, I'm so mad

1862
01:36:59,000 --> 01:37:01,880
that he ditched you and I'm 
like, I'm not mad y'all like we 

1863
01:37:01,920 --> 01:37:04,880
he has no commitment to me. 
There's no reason that he needs 

1864
01:37:04,880 --> 01:37:07,280
to like, you know, usher to me 
or anything. 

1865
01:37:07,680 --> 01:37:09,960
And then I look around. 
All of his friends added me on 

1866
01:37:09,960 --> 01:37:12,040
Snapchat. 
All of his friends were already 

1867
01:37:12,040 --> 01:37:14,240
on my Facebook. 
Friends like everybody started 

1868
01:37:14,520 --> 01:37:18,320
liking heart reacting my stories
and I'm like, this is all I 

1869
01:37:18,320 --> 01:37:20,720
needed to know about your 
friends because they. 

1870
01:37:20,840 --> 01:37:24,440
Probably talked you out of 
actually pursuing me so that 

1871
01:37:24,440 --> 01:37:26,920
they could later. 
Keep me in the portfolio for the

1872
01:37:28,160 --> 01:37:32,160
and I'm like dudes are so 
strange because he hyped it up. 

1873
01:37:32,160 --> 01:37:34,200
I mean it was like balls to the 
wall. 

1874
01:37:34,640 --> 01:37:37,880
I'm obsessed with you literally 
asking me like questions like 

1875
01:37:37,880 --> 01:37:39,200
are you on birth control and 
stuff. 

1876
01:37:39,200 --> 01:37:41,840
I feel like that's like next 
level like I fucking like you 

1877
01:37:41,840 --> 01:37:45,760
energy and just literally out of
nowhere just like stop talking 

1878
01:37:45,760 --> 01:37:48,720
to me and started getting on 
Facebook being like I'm so 

1879
01:37:48,720 --> 01:37:50,520
depressed. 
I want to kill myself and all 

1880
01:37:50,520 --> 01:37:53,520
this stuff, and I'm not like, 
I'm not making fun of that in 

1881
01:37:53,520 --> 01:37:58,240
any way, but I feel like my. 
A happy disposition brings out 

1882
01:37:58,240 --> 01:38:00,760
depression in people. 
I don't know why, but they're 

1883
01:38:00,760 --> 01:38:03,240
like, she's so happy. 
I wish I could be like that. 

1884
01:38:03,240 --> 01:38:05,800
She won't really like me if she 
knew me. 

1885
01:38:06,040 --> 01:38:09,240
And then I have this, like 
conflict where it's like I want 

1886
01:38:09,240 --> 01:38:13,120
someone who's deeper and 
artistic and maybe dark and sad 

1887
01:38:13,120 --> 01:38:15,360
a little bit because like those 
type of people really get me 

1888
01:38:15,360 --> 01:38:17,400
going. 
But then it's like, Oh no, she 

1889
01:38:17,400 --> 01:38:19,800
won't really like me if she 
finds out who I am. 

1890
01:38:20,160 --> 01:38:22,080
And so I have this weird 
disconnect there. 

1891
01:38:22,080 --> 01:38:24,440
It's just like I like you and 
you're acting weird now. 

1892
01:38:24,880 --> 01:38:27,400
I feel like both of you. 
I can see it in both of you 

1893
01:38:27,480 --> 01:38:31,480
especially like when both of you
smile and you laugh it is it's 

1894
01:38:31,480 --> 01:38:35,120
intimidating because both of you
know and you can tell deep down 

1895
01:38:35,120 --> 01:38:38,080
y'all have this power that when 
you walk in the room you're like

1896
01:38:39,040 --> 01:38:42,800
yes I'm here and like what do 
you what hello. 

1897
01:38:42,800 --> 01:38:46,000
Like both of you carry 
yourselves and it can be very 

1898
01:38:46,000 --> 01:38:48,840
intimidating to men like. 
And that's the one thing that 

1899
01:38:49,840 --> 01:38:52,320
and I think a lot of women like 
I have like you know some 

1900
01:38:52,320 --> 01:38:54,000
friends who are single and 
things like that and they're 

1901
01:38:54,000 --> 01:38:56,920
like I don't understand. 
I'm like you're like you don't 

1902
01:38:56,920 --> 01:38:59,280
have to understand. 
Like a confident woman nowadays 

1903
01:38:59,320 --> 01:39:02,760
is rare and that is very very 
fucking sad to say. 

1904
01:39:02,760 --> 01:39:07,560
It's very sad to say. 
But to walk in and own a room, 

1905
01:39:08,240 --> 01:39:12,440
it is so fucking intimidating 
because you can pretend online 

1906
01:39:12,480 --> 01:39:14,840
all day that you feel like that 
bad bitch right. 

1907
01:39:14,840 --> 01:39:17,720
Like there's days where I'll 
post online that I'm like, I'm 

1908
01:39:17,720 --> 01:39:18,960
the hub's pitch, I'm the hub's 
pitch. 

1909
01:39:19,200 --> 01:39:20,880
But like, deep down, like, I 
know. 

1910
01:39:20,880 --> 01:39:22,560
Like if I'm walking, it's like 
this. 

1911
01:39:23,880 --> 01:39:26,000
I don't want anybody to see me. 
I don't want anybody to notice 

1912
01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:28,040
me, don't talk to me. 
I feel very insecure. 

1913
01:39:28,320 --> 01:39:31,320
So when you are in person with 
that man, you walk in and you 

1914
01:39:31,320 --> 01:39:35,120
fucking own that room and your 
fucking light fucking shines and

1915
01:39:35,120 --> 01:39:39,040
your fucking positivity fucking 
shines, it's like, oh fuck, no, 

1916
01:39:39,040 --> 01:39:42,960
she's she's sure of herself. 
Like this, this is not, this is 

1917
01:39:42,960 --> 01:39:46,000
not a fucking quit kind of deal.
Like this is not hit it and quit

1918
01:39:46,000 --> 01:39:48,280
it. 
This is like, well, like, she's 

1919
01:39:48,280 --> 01:39:50,520
a real one. 
And that's intimidating, This 

1920
01:39:50,520 --> 01:39:53,000
stuff nowadays, it's super 
fucking intimidating. 

1921
01:39:53,640 --> 01:39:57,840
It's not only intimidating to 
men, but it's intimidating to 

1922
01:39:58,000 --> 01:40:00,400
like, other women. 
We've talked about this, like, 

1923
01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:04,360
multiple times on the podcast, 
but we so Paige lives in 

1924
01:40:04,360 --> 01:40:06,360
Kentucky. 
I live in Idaho. 

1925
01:40:06,840 --> 01:40:09,080
We met. 
We've only met in person one 

1926
01:40:09,080 --> 01:40:13,280
time, and we got invited by 
somebody to go and meet in 

1927
01:40:13,280 --> 01:40:16,280
person. 
We vibed, no fucking problem. 

1928
01:40:16,280 --> 01:40:18,760
The friend that Paige brought, 
we vibed. 

1929
01:40:18,760 --> 01:40:24,000
But the girl who invited us from
the jump was like, did not know 

1930
01:40:24,000 --> 01:40:26,480
how to handle it. 
I don't know what she was like 

1931
01:40:26,480 --> 01:40:31,880
expecting, but we've and we've 
had it even when we haven't been

1932
01:40:31,880 --> 01:40:35,160
in person. 
We've had where there's always 

1933
01:40:35,160 --> 01:40:38,560
that thing, whether it's men or 
women, where people are 

1934
01:40:38,560 --> 01:40:42,520
attracted to you because of a 
strength that you bring, whether

1935
01:40:42,520 --> 01:40:44,880
that be confidence or whatever 
it may be. 

1936
01:40:45,240 --> 01:40:49,120
But as they start to get to know
you as a person, it's almost 

1937
01:40:49,120 --> 01:40:52,480
like the illusion falls for them
and they're like. 

1938
01:40:52,880 --> 01:40:57,040
Oh, you're a real person and you
have actual things that you go 

1939
01:40:57,040 --> 01:40:59,680
through. 
And I think that it can be very 

1940
01:40:59,680 --> 01:41:03,400
uncomfortable for people to see 
that, wow, you have all these 

1941
01:41:03,400 --> 01:41:05,880
things you go through and 
struggles, and you're still 

1942
01:41:05,880 --> 01:41:09,480
confident and happy with 
yourself and love yourself even 

1943
01:41:09,480 --> 01:41:12,560
though you have these moments of
like, feeling weak or being 

1944
01:41:12,560 --> 01:41:17,560
honest about it. 
And that, again, is such a 

1945
01:41:17,560 --> 01:41:20,840
difficult thing. 
I know for us like we do like 

1946
01:41:21,200 --> 01:41:24,480
spiritual work for people and so
we have a lot of people in our 

1947
01:41:24,480 --> 01:41:27,440
arena because of that. 
And so that's a lot of like what

1948
01:41:27,440 --> 01:41:29,840
our content and what we do is 
based off of. 

1949
01:41:29,840 --> 01:41:33,960
And so we show different parts 
of, like, inner pieces of our 

1950
01:41:33,960 --> 01:41:35,400
soul. 
And you're sharing a 

1951
01:41:35,400 --> 01:41:38,080
vulnerability in a different 
way, where you're showing a 

1952
01:41:38,080 --> 01:41:40,360
comfortability on like your 
outer flesh. 

1953
01:41:40,400 --> 01:41:43,520
And like the way that you're 
using your body is like an 

1954
01:41:43,520 --> 01:41:45,400
instrument and a way to connect 
with people. 

1955
01:41:45,400 --> 01:41:49,640
And whether you're looking down 
or whatever at your phone when 

1956
01:41:49,640 --> 01:41:52,360
you're walking, you still have 
that same energy. 

1957
01:41:52,360 --> 01:41:56,080
You still have the same people 
look at you and go, wow, she's 

1958
01:41:56,080 --> 01:41:57,560
really beautiful. 
She's probably a hoe. 

1959
01:41:57,800 --> 01:42:01,080
You know, like that's everybody 
has like their prejudgments that

1960
01:42:01,080 --> 01:42:06,400
they're going to make. 
And I think that finding really 

1961
01:42:06,400 --> 01:42:11,360
authentic friendships, like we 
we do have a disadvantage and an

1962
01:42:11,360 --> 01:42:14,600
advantage over other people. 
Of the fact that we come in 

1963
01:42:14,600 --> 01:42:17,040
contact with so many different 
people that I think we're all 

1964
01:42:17,040 --> 01:42:20,080
really good at this point at 
recognizing if you're fucking 

1965
01:42:20,080 --> 01:42:22,320
weird or not. 
And occasionally you have a few 

1966
01:42:22,320 --> 01:42:25,120
snakes that slip through the 
grass, but you're able to 

1967
01:42:25,120 --> 01:42:27,800
recognize the energy and being 
like you guys are fucking weird 

1968
01:42:27,800 --> 01:42:29,000
and this isn't going to benefit 
me. 

1969
01:42:31,280 --> 01:42:33,520
It's always a weird. 
I'm just going to say the truth.

1970
01:42:33,520 --> 01:42:37,000
It's always a weird, ugly bitch.
It's never somebody that you're 

1971
01:42:37,000 --> 01:42:38,880
like. 
That bitch is bad and I give a 

1972
01:42:38,880 --> 01:42:41,640
fuck about her opinion. 
It's like, babe, I was being 

1973
01:42:41,640 --> 01:42:45,440
nice, like trying to help you 
glow up and you didn't take a 

1974
01:42:45,440 --> 01:42:47,720
single fucking lesson and you 
just went right back to the 

1975
01:42:47,720 --> 01:42:49,320
fucking swamps where your Mama 
had you. 

1976
01:42:50,080 --> 01:42:52,360
Yeah, I I it's. 
I mean, it's true. 

1977
01:42:52,440 --> 01:42:55,200
Like, I hate that cliche saying,
but it's true. 

1978
01:42:55,200 --> 01:42:59,280
Like I've never had somebody 
talk shit who was doing better 

1979
01:42:59,280 --> 01:43:03,280
than me. 
So I think like that's the one 

1980
01:43:03,280 --> 01:43:06,240
thing that I have learned in 
this arena. 

1981
01:43:06,240 --> 01:43:09,080
It does not matter how much you 
fucking help people, doesn't 

1982
01:43:09,080 --> 01:43:11,800
matter how genuine you are, how 
kind you are. 

1983
01:43:11,800 --> 01:43:15,480
I am the most giving person I 
give till I can't give anymore. 

1984
01:43:15,480 --> 01:43:18,680
And I had a friend that I've 
been friends with for like 14 

1985
01:43:18,680 --> 01:43:21,320
years come out of the woodwork 
and say when I started reading 

1986
01:43:21,320 --> 01:43:23,680
tarot, I thought I was better 
than everyone. 

1987
01:43:24,040 --> 01:43:27,320
I have literally cleaned out my 
clothes because this girl is a 

1988
01:43:27,320 --> 01:43:30,760
single mom had no clothes. 
Given her at least three full 

1989
01:43:30,760 --> 01:43:32,720
wardrobes, and I'm talking, I 
could have sold this shit. 

1990
01:43:32,840 --> 01:43:35,120
I know she sold some of it, 
'cause she was broke. 

1991
01:43:35,480 --> 01:43:37,960
But the fact that she was like, 
just 'cause you give me your old

1992
01:43:37,960 --> 01:43:39,720
clothes doesn't mean you're a 
good friend. 

1993
01:43:40,200 --> 01:43:43,040
And I was like, I was appalled, 
like I was shocked. 

1994
01:43:43,240 --> 01:43:45,760
And then this year, on my 
birthday, she has the audacity, 

1995
01:43:45,760 --> 01:43:48,600
'cause I have two cell phones to
text, the one that I didn't 

1996
01:43:48,600 --> 01:43:51,680
block her on and say I'm 
thinking about you on your 

1997
01:43:51,680 --> 01:43:54,160
birthday, I really want you to 
know that you were always such a

1998
01:43:54,160 --> 01:43:56,000
good friend to me and I really 
miss you. 

1999
01:43:56,320 --> 01:44:00,080
And I left that bitch on red. 
Fucking hate people like that. 

2000
01:44:00,200 --> 01:44:02,080
I've done the same shit. 
I knew this girl. 

2001
01:44:02,720 --> 01:44:05,720
She they literally shared like a
one bedroom apartment with her 

2002
01:44:05,720 --> 01:44:08,680
kid, her boyfriend. 
They were struggling, a car 

2003
01:44:08,680 --> 01:44:10,880
about to be repoed. 
I covered her fucking car 

2004
01:44:10,880 --> 01:44:12,000
payment so it wouldn't get 
repoed. 

2005
01:44:12,000 --> 01:44:14,560
Like up to fucking date. 
Got this bitch of gym 

2006
01:44:14,560 --> 01:44:17,680
membership. 
I did the most, the most. 

2007
01:44:18,320 --> 01:44:21,680
And then I get a text one day 
because she said she was 

2008
01:44:21,680 --> 01:44:23,920
struggling at that time. 
I didn't have extra money at 

2009
01:44:23,920 --> 01:44:25,800
that point in my life like it 
was. 

2010
01:44:25,960 --> 01:44:27,960
You know, there's some months 
where it's slow. 

2011
01:44:28,640 --> 01:44:31,000
And I. 
Couldn't help her. 

2012
01:44:31,000 --> 01:44:33,080
And I got that text of huge 
change. 

2013
01:44:33,080 --> 01:44:34,720
You're so different. 
You're not different. 

2014
01:44:34,720 --> 01:44:38,080
And I was like, oh, there it is.
There. 

2015
01:44:38,080 --> 01:44:39,960
What the fuck is? 
And I'm going to be honest, I 

2016
01:44:39,960 --> 01:44:43,560
have friends who, you know, you 
would think would have more than

2017
01:44:43,560 --> 01:44:45,720
me. 
I live a very comfortable life. 

2018
01:44:45,960 --> 01:44:47,520
I I have a very comfortable 
life. 

2019
01:44:47,560 --> 01:44:53,240
And when people find out about 
how I live, they're like, wait a

2020
01:44:53,360 --> 01:44:55,960
minute, hey. 
And I'm like. 

2021
01:44:57,600 --> 01:45:01,840
Hi. 
That is the fucking one that is 

2022
01:45:01,840 --> 01:45:04,320
exactly, like, exactly what I'm 
talking about. 

2023
01:45:04,320 --> 01:45:07,640
Because I think people realize 
not only do I have like a 

2024
01:45:07,640 --> 01:45:10,200
career, I have a business I own 
at LLC. 

2025
01:45:10,360 --> 01:45:13,360
And then if your girl wanted and
only fans, she'd have money on 

2026
01:45:13,360 --> 01:45:15,440
there too. 
And people like, they don't like

2027
01:45:15,440 --> 01:45:18,600
that I have all these options 
and Gemini's always like really 

2028
01:45:18,600 --> 01:45:20,840
talking me up and like, oh, you 
should do this, you should do 

2029
01:45:20,840 --> 01:45:22,360
that or whatever. 
And. 

2030
01:45:22,920 --> 01:45:25,840
People have tried to come 
between US and like, really try 

2031
01:45:25,840 --> 01:45:28,800
to divide us, and that's what's 
been crazy about it is. 

2032
01:45:28,800 --> 01:45:32,120
Because still to this day, we're
growing and elevating from those

2033
01:45:32,120 --> 01:45:35,040
experiences, bringing in amazing
people like you and like, 

2034
01:45:35,040 --> 01:45:37,760
seriously, thank you so fucking 
much for coming on to our 

2035
01:45:37,760 --> 01:45:41,480
podcast to have you back. 
I fucking feel like we're just 

2036
01:45:41,480 --> 01:45:43,160
sitting in the room with our new
best friend. 

2037
01:45:43,160 --> 01:45:44,480
Because honestly. 
I know. 

2038
01:45:44,560 --> 01:45:46,800
I looked out at the time and I 
was like, Oh my God, I didn't 

2039
01:45:46,840 --> 01:45:49,080
even know that you were. 
Talking for that, this is the 

2040
01:45:49,080 --> 01:45:51,040
longest interview that we've 
ever done. 

2041
01:45:51,040 --> 01:45:55,360
This feels so natural, like. 
We were like out on interviewing

2042
01:45:55,360 --> 01:45:57,640
people. 
And then recently we started 

2043
01:45:57,640 --> 01:46:00,520
kind of finding that there were 
some people we wanted to bring 

2044
01:46:00,520 --> 01:46:02,440
on and collaborate with and talk
about. 

2045
01:46:02,440 --> 01:46:06,080
And you know, I really like to 
talk about people who have 

2046
01:46:06,080 --> 01:46:08,320
something going that's unique 
and different. 

2047
01:46:08,320 --> 01:46:11,480
And like you're very unique in 
the way of you're not like, look

2048
01:46:11,480 --> 01:46:14,840
at me, I'm better than you, but 
you're like, no, here's what I 

2049
01:46:14,840 --> 01:46:17,520
do and like that's how I am. 
It's like I will give you the 

2050
01:46:17,520 --> 01:46:21,680
recipe but like I know you can't
flavor like me, but here's the 

2051
01:46:21,680 --> 01:46:25,000
recipe like I'm not. 
Gatekeep what I'm doing, you 

2052
01:46:25,000 --> 01:46:28,400
know, and and with every arena, 
there's gatekeepers, there's 

2053
01:46:28,400 --> 01:46:29,880
fake people, there's cloud 
chasers. 

2054
01:46:30,120 --> 01:46:33,040
So we just really appreciate you
coming on here being vulnerable 

2055
01:46:33,040 --> 01:46:35,680
and just like talking about all 
this stuff with us because. 

2056
01:46:36,200 --> 01:46:38,760
I really feel like I've gotten 
to know you on just a deeper 

2057
01:46:38,760 --> 01:46:41,480
level than just your looks, but 
you are gorgeous. 

2058
01:46:41,480 --> 01:46:44,440
So the next time that you have 
Audio Scorpio, think about me 

2059
01:46:44,840 --> 01:46:47,800
thinking how cute you are and 
Gemini hyping you up in our 

2060
01:46:47,800 --> 01:46:50,000
chat. 
Like, yes, we get to talk to the

2061
01:46:50,000 --> 01:46:53,120
hottest bitch tonight. 
Like, yes, we really were going 

2062
01:46:53,120 --> 01:46:54,560
back and forth. 
Like, no, dude. 

2063
01:46:54,560 --> 01:46:55,880
Like, she's real hot. 
Oh, thanks. 

2064
01:46:58,240 --> 01:47:02,680
I bought it. 
Something that we do on the 

2065
01:47:02,680 --> 01:47:05,560
podcast is at the end of every 
episode. 

2066
01:47:05,560 --> 01:47:07,400
Do you know anything about human
design? 

2067
01:47:10,040 --> 01:47:16,360
OK, so without getting too deep 
into it, it's basically like the

2068
01:47:16,360 --> 01:47:19,280
blueprint that you have and 
things that you may experience 

2069
01:47:19,280 --> 01:47:23,440
inside of, inside of this, like 
existence and inside of this 

2070
01:47:23,440 --> 01:47:26,760
life. 
So I have a human design deck 

2071
01:47:27,200 --> 01:47:32,480
and I always pull a card at the 
end of our episode and it is 

2072
01:47:32,480 --> 01:47:36,080
your gift and your shadow. 
So it can be a gift that you 

2073
01:47:36,080 --> 01:47:39,240
already possessed or something 
that you're going to that's 

2074
01:47:39,280 --> 01:47:41,920
inside of you that you're going 
to have to harness for things 

2075
01:47:41,920 --> 01:47:45,000
that are going to be coming up 
and then the shadow inside of 

2076
01:47:45,000 --> 01:47:47,440
that. 
So the ways that it may not go 

2077
01:47:47,440 --> 01:47:50,880
as you plan or something that 
may be like underlying inside of

2078
01:47:50,880 --> 01:47:54,200
that. 
So I'm going to pull one of 

2079
01:47:54,200 --> 01:47:57,880
those cards before we go. 
Hold on, just a tidbit, there is

2080
01:47:57,880 --> 01:48:01,880
an app for anyone listening. 
It's called My Human Design and 

2081
01:48:01,880 --> 01:48:04,920
you do have to pay like for the 
extended version, but you could 

2082
01:48:04,920 --> 01:48:07,920
download it Barbie and like just
look at your human design you. 

2083
01:48:07,920 --> 01:48:10,720
Will be shocked. 
On how much it resonates and 

2084
01:48:10,720 --> 01:48:13,840
then the app will give you like 
the tip of the day. 

2085
01:48:14,000 --> 01:48:16,600
But I think if you buy the 
version it's like 399 or 

2086
01:48:16,600 --> 01:48:20,560
something like it's not a lot 
but it really is super in depth 

2087
01:48:20,560 --> 01:48:25,000
and it has like so many 
connections to each cycle of 

2088
01:48:25,000 --> 01:48:27,720
your life and. 
Like each layer of your life, so

2089
01:48:27,880 --> 01:48:30,240
your personal life, your 
spiritual life, your physical 

2090
01:48:30,240 --> 01:48:31,400
life. 
You know, like, it just has all 

2091
01:48:31,400 --> 01:48:34,800
these different layers. 
And there's like a whole book 

2092
01:48:35,000 --> 01:48:38,080
that you've never known, but 
you're like, wow, like, I feel 

2093
01:48:38,080 --> 01:48:40,200
like I wrote this book. 
Like this resonates. 

2094
01:48:40,240 --> 01:48:43,760
And it's it. 
So anybody listing my human 

2095
01:48:43,760 --> 01:48:47,280
design the app and we'll let Jim
and I read our card. 

2096
01:48:47,800 --> 01:48:50,160
I also had the lady who made 
this deck. 

2097
01:48:51,240 --> 01:48:55,320
I'm almost 100% sure her name is
Christina but I had her on the 

2098
01:48:55,320 --> 01:48:59,200
Coven of Rejects podcast and her
deck is called Realm of Being 

2099
01:48:59,200 --> 01:49:03,840
and that was the episode and 
she's strictly does human design

2100
01:49:03,840 --> 01:49:06,600
and like broke down my whole 
chart and whatever if anybody 

2101
01:49:06,600 --> 01:49:11,560
like wants to learn. 
So card number 3 for awareness 

2102
01:49:11,560 --> 01:49:15,080
is what came out, and I just 
love you said Texas and it just 

2103
01:49:15,080 --> 01:49:17,640
I've been watching cowboy shows 
lately and it just makes me 

2104
01:49:17,640 --> 01:49:23,400
think of like desert 
nothingness, like a barren 

2105
01:49:23,400 --> 01:49:27,840
wasteland. 
So the sign is Leo, the gift is 

2106
01:49:27,840 --> 01:49:32,560
cognizance, and the shadow is a 
lack mindset, the gift of 

2107
01:49:32,560 --> 01:49:35,840
cognizance. 
As you begin to wake up to your 

2108
01:49:35,840 --> 01:49:39,880
true essence, you also witness 
your patterns, your perceived 

2109
01:49:39,880 --> 01:49:42,560
victimhood, and your own 
participation and your 

2110
01:49:42,560 --> 01:49:45,920
relationships. 
And this way you tune into an 

2111
01:49:45,920 --> 01:49:49,920
awareness of your humanness in 
the process of accessing the 

2112
01:49:49,920 --> 01:49:52,240
gift. 
Your suffering may seem to 

2113
01:49:52,240 --> 01:49:56,760
heighten as you are present to 
your unconscious patterning, but

2114
01:49:56,760 --> 01:50:00,880
this road to unadultered 
self-awareness is both necessary

2115
01:50:00,880 --> 01:50:04,480
and rewarding. 
From here mindfulness blossoms 

2116
01:50:04,480 --> 01:50:07,360
and you transform your 
relationships and your world in 

2117
01:50:07,360 --> 01:50:10,560
general through conscious 
thought, word and action. 

2118
01:50:11,160 --> 01:50:15,760
Your Shadow is a lack mindset. 
The 33rd Shadow examines 

2119
01:50:15,760 --> 01:50:18,320
suffering through the lens of 
our relationships. 

2120
01:50:18,560 --> 01:50:22,560
When we are living half asleep 
or unconsciously, we might see 

2121
01:50:22,560 --> 01:50:25,920
that relationships happen to us 
as if we're not active 

2122
01:50:25,920 --> 01:50:30,680
participants in their unfolding.
The lower frequency state breeds

2123
01:50:30,680 --> 01:50:34,080
codependent relationships 
complete with victim narratives 

2124
01:50:34,320 --> 01:50:38,640
and combativeness or avoidance. 
We forget our inherent wholeness

2125
01:50:38,640 --> 01:50:43,240
and attempt to fill a perceived 
deficiency by seeking refuge in 

2126
01:50:43,240 --> 01:50:45,760
the other. 
When we take a step back, we 

2127
01:50:45,760 --> 01:50:49,160
have the opportunity to re 
evaluate our position and see a 

2128
01:50:49,160 --> 01:50:53,600
new expansive message that this 
relationship may hold for us. 

2129
01:50:53,880 --> 01:50:57,240
Your themes are wakefulness, 
wholeness, gratitude, and 

2130
01:50:57,240 --> 01:51:00,360
relationships. 
Beautiful. 

2131
01:51:01,520 --> 01:51:05,520
Oh yeah. 
So everyone, we will put in the 

2132
01:51:06,120 --> 01:51:10,200
description where you can follow
Beautiful Barbie and we'll have 

2133
01:51:10,200 --> 01:51:13,000
her social media. 
You can go check out her only 

2134
01:51:13,000 --> 01:51:15,200
fans. 
Get these views up for the 

2135
01:51:15,200 --> 01:51:16,480
month, baby. 
And. 

2136
01:51:17,240 --> 01:51:19,560
Go ahead and tap in. 
Hit the follow. 

2137
01:51:19,560 --> 01:51:21,040
We're definitely going to have 
you back. 

2138
01:51:21,040 --> 01:51:24,040
I would love to have you back. 
Amazing. 

2139
01:51:24,400 --> 01:51:27,320
And is there anything like a 
message that you want to leave 

2140
01:51:27,320 --> 01:51:30,120
everyone with? 
Oh my gosh. 

2141
01:51:30,120 --> 01:51:31,360
Just be you. 
That's. 

2142
01:51:31,360 --> 01:51:32,840
I mean, that's what I tell 
people all the time. 

2143
01:51:32,840 --> 01:51:34,920
That's my main message. 
Like stop being scared of what 

2144
01:51:34,920 --> 01:51:36,000
people are gonna think about 
you. 

2145
01:51:36,480 --> 01:51:38,120
Just go out there and fucking 
embrace the world. 

2146
01:51:38,120 --> 01:51:39,200
Be yourself. 
Fuck it. 

2147
01:51:39,200 --> 01:51:40,520
They don't like you. 
They're never going to be in 

2148
01:51:40,520 --> 01:51:42,760
your fucking life anyways. 
That's that's what I like to 

2149
01:51:42,760 --> 01:51:44,760
say. 
Amen. 

2150
01:51:44,760 --> 01:51:48,200
Thank you all for listening to 
another episode of Look It Like 

2151
01:51:48,200 --> 01:51:50,000
a Lollipop. 
And we'll see you next time. 

2152
01:51:51,440 --> 01:51:51,800
Bye.