Welcome back to fucking Candyland.
I have missed our weekly therapy sessions in fucking Candyland
and I feel like going a couple months, taking a break is a
beautiful thing when you're doing it.
But then now that we're back, I'm so glad to be back.
I miss you so much. I miss you and it always cracks
me up when I hear you cuss because you put so much emphasis
on it. And so it's not like just
fucking Candy land. It is fucking candy land like.
You know, you know what the vibe is.
It's been a while and the energy has been transformational this
summer. I feel like this has been one of
the most transformational summers of my whole life.
What about you? I feel like you've you've had a
lot of breakthrough moments. And also like everyone, Gemini
wasn't as TikTok famous as she is now.
Now that we're back, she's over 100K popping her shit in her moo
moo. Part 26.
Part 32. That's a. 126 Part 32 No dude,
this this summer's been so fucking cool, but I feel also
just for like figuring just different pieces of ourselves
and figuring out who we are right now.
You and I have both just had these like just random
experiences with like friendships and relationships
and just so many different things that have been
transformational moments, things that I don't think either of us,
you know, there are personal things that we don't want to
talk about on the podcast. But I have to tell you about
that trip that I took to Vegas with my husband because I never
even told you about it. I was just like, oh, we'll wait
till we come back on the podcast and then it's been like 2 weeks.
He doesn't tell me anything anymore.
She like, she's like, we'll save it for the podcast.
And then I'll be honest, I like, I wasn't feeling good.
So I wanted to cancel. One time we were going to record
and then another time she needed to change it or something.
So like, you know, we're really flexible about that stuff.
But then like a whole nine days will go by and we'll be like,
damn, we never talked about that.
We never recorded. What's up?
How are you? Miss you?
But I feel like we check in about things that are big
things. We're like, yo girl, this is
what's going on right now. Like can you pull a card for me?
What the fuck is happening in my life?
But when it's like the day-to-day regular things, I
feel like we do wait for the podcast stuff.
And a big part of that too is I feel like we've really come to a
balance, you and I, with the stuff that we're comfortable
publicly sharing and the stuff that we really want to keep
private and to ourselves. And we do use the podcast as a
way to connect with other people on certain topics that we are
willing to discuss. And I feel like that's why we
don't talk about it behind the scenes because we process it
first hand with like, I feel like our little group of people.
I say little group, but we have literally thousands of
listeners. You know, I miss the podcast
because I do feel like it's a way to really gauge your growth.
It's like a it's like a liquid journal.
You know, it's like you can just go back to an era and be like,
what was I doing in December 2022 or whatever and just kind
of like see that growth and see that transformation.
And I remember that in the beginning of the podcast, we
were like really centered on like making sure we had topics
and that we like really had a good description going and
stuff. And like, we'll be honest now we
forget what we've talked about and our descriptions have like
went not, not as specific because it'll be like 2 weeks
later and we'll go to post it and, and you'll be like, what do
we talk about? And I don't remember, I don't
remember at all what we talked about.
And so like, I can just tell a difference of like when you
first start something and you like want it to be perfect and
you want it to be this and you want it to be that, but you have
to just let it be whatever it is.
And I think that's what we've learned.
Like especially just like with the audio and the video of like
recording at your house and recording across the country,
You know, a lot of people can't even make this shit work in
person. So like making it work across
the country, across time zones, You know, we've said it before,
like those are the obstacles that people don't realize that
you have to overcome when you're going to like start a project
with someone or just start a project in general.
And I think that, you know, of course there was that surge of
like podcasts and content during the pandemic, but like that's
slowed down. And now the people who kept
pushing at full speed are popping their shit in the top
10s or the top, you know, three podcasts of the world or
whatever. Like, of course, you know,
consistency is going to be key, but how engaged you are with
your audience is the important thing.
Because something that's happened this summer that we
haven't talked about that I can't wait to speak on all of
these like TikTok celebrities like sexy Red and just whoever
and whatever going and trying to make big tours.
Even Justin Timberlake making this big stadium tour, this big
arena tour, trying to be like Jelly Roll.
But they're not in their prom. Like y'all are out like the
prom. It was not there.
I mean, maybe for JT back in the day, but like come on, brother.
Like, you know, go play something amphitheaters and just
like, you know, sell your little 5000 tickets and move on.
Like you don't get to sell 40,000 tickets or 30,000 tickets
because I mean, I just don't know like 30,000 people that
want to go pay $400.00 tickets to sit here sexy back.
You know, if it's a whole, if it was In Sync, sign me up.
Let's go. I would be all in, you know what
I mean, But like these big celebrities and like how the
numbers people have been buying numbers, the bots, the fake
followers, the fake engagement, the the ranking of like how much
you're going to pay Instagram and based on what they show you
as being popular or cool. And I think it's just so funny
how many people are like having to cancel these tours and like
are getting cancelled in a way. And like, I had heard this rumor
because, you know, JT got caught with like drugs and then got a
DUI, which said that he had to go to rehab.
And they said that it was fake. Because with those big tours,
when you book them in the policies, there's like an
insurance clause that protects the venue, meaning that if you
don't sell a certain amount of tickets, you they're going to
fine you that additional money so that they get their overhead
like and they break, you know, whatever threshold they need to
break. And so it was basically saying
that like he wanted to cash in on the insurance clause, which
would be that he had like a bodily inner in a bodily injury
or something happened to him detrimental to his health or
well-being that could like claim insurance on those fees because
he had to cancel the whole tour. So like then?
Something about something about him too, is that at the same
time that that happened is when people were really popping off
because of Brittany's book. And you know, something,
something that sticks out to me is, you know, we're always
talking about like having grace for people's healing journey,
right? And like things, you know,
different versions of people from the past and, and whatnot.
And the thing that I look for inside of inside of somebody's
journey and to see if they're working on like a healing and
growth journey is to see if they're able to take
accountability from things for their past and that whole
situation. You know, and obviously we're,
we're looking from the outside into Justin's life, right?
Like we, we don't know his day-to-day, but when all that
stuff was was going on and he's being canceled and slammed and
people aren't showing up to his concerts and, and whatever.
Not one time did I see a statement come out from him
where he's like, I was a teenager inside of Hollywood.
I was famous. I didn't know how to deal with
that. I absolutely put this on this
woman. She had, you know, a
miscarriage. I, I didn't help with any of
these things. Or, you know, whatever it may
be, taking accountability for old versions of yourself and
then being like, I'm married now.
I've learned things. I would do things differently.
I have learned how to better adjust, you know, whatever.
And I think that that's something that people are really
looking for. And you wouldn't, you know, I, I
don't believe in cancel culture, but I do believe in taking
accountability for things that come out about you or at least
addressing it. You know, it very well.
Like he could have been like, that's not my perspective of it,
but that's her perspective. And I'm so sorry that I ever
made her feel that way. And people would have more
understanding then all of a sudden this weird ass shit
happens with you having drugs, drugs in your car and your
venues are cancelled and now you need to go to rehab or whatever.
But up until this point, you and your wife have been flaunting on
social media like your life is perfect and everything's fine.
So it just like the lack of accountability for me happens
with a lot of people. I don't really know the other
artists that you mentioned, like I don't know who's sexy Red is,
but it makes me think of Marlboro cigarettes.
Yes, you do know who that is. Do I?
I don't even want to know who that is, and I'm forced to know
who that is. Who is it?
Is there? Is there like a song?
I would know. Yeah, I'll have to play it for
you. This is a sexy red clip.
We won't get copyright infringement, but we will.
I'll play you. I'll play you one.
I personally don't. I think it's almost like one of
those situations like it's a social experiment like with her,
like she's not really like famous.
She's like an industry plant as they would call it, like where
they plant celebrities that just kind of make a mockery or a
fuckery of themselves. And she's kind of does that in a
way like kind of like that ice ice girl, like the stuff they
talk about and the same the things they say and like the way
they act. It's just like, it's like a
train wreck kind of. I don't.
Know I don't know who ice Spice is either, but like, am I in a
bubble? I don't know who any of these
fucking people are. Well, I don't want to know who
they are, but if. You're not Jelly, Roll.
I don't fucking know you. No, I'm just kidding.
You know, I really don't know, but I was forced to know.
I thought you definitely would know who that is because of
TikTok though, but I guess you're on the I.
Am so specific with my fucking algorithms on TikTok.
Like I'm I'm so specific of the type.
Like I really like educational things on TikTok and I like
things that make me laugh. It's very rare that I find new
music or that I find like influencers if influencers if
you will on TikTok. I like to have a protected
bubble over there because the second that you step out of
where the light touches, it's all fuckery and bullshit and I
don't want anything to do with it.
And so I feel like I'm like I, I am.
We've talked about how happy I am with the block button, but I
literally that block button, you could just fucking post that you
burnt your toast this morning and I'll be like, this is the
kind of negativity I don't need in my life and I'll.
You know what's funny is like one time y'all Bunny texted me
and she was like XYZ look at this person they're fucking
weird. Like they're saying weird shit
to me. They they said a bunch of weird
stuff to me. I don't like it.
They sent me their stuff. Well of course like I didn't
know who they were because like I don't get on TikTok for real
anymore and hardly ever look at really anything on there.
So anyways, when I sent it to Gemini, Gemini goes hold up.
I have them blocked and like literally she had this person
blocked and I didn't know how more symbolic that could be that
this is a weird ass bitch that we needed to like, you know, do
a little return to Cinder and make sure this bitch was, you
know, in her own world, living her own prophecies.
But the she was definitely in like a meth psychosis.
The lady was, and like one of us said that to Bunny, but he was
like, well, she's supposed to be sober, but she definitely used
to do meth. And I was like, there you go.
Because I don't know who she is at all.
But at this time it was so funny that Jim and I had this lady
blocked. And so like, you know, the
universe is weird like that. I think sometimes like I just
don't resonate with stuff and like just completely won't even
get onto it. Like for months on end.
I did that with Facebook for years.
I didn't have a Facebook for years, I tell ya.
And I'll tell you, I'll tell you a story if you sit down and
listen to it. I'll.
Tell you. I got to tell you about.
I got to tell you about Vegas. So first of all, I knew that you
had to walk places. What I didn't fucking know is
that walking across the street takes you an hour and a half and
it takes you an hour and a half because you're having to.
So we were, we stayed at the Flamingo and which is like right
across the street from like Caesar's Palace and like right
near the Bellagio and shit like that.
So we, you have to walk across like sky bridges, you're having
to take escalators to get up to an overhead pathway to take you
into a hotel for you to walk 17 miles through cigarette infested
machines so that you can walk out, to go walk through a
restaurant, to go downstairs, to go walk back across the street
across another escalator. Like it was a whole fucking
mission. And so the when we first got
there, it was extremely overwhelming.
Like right when we got got to the airport, there was a whole
lot of people traffic in like people driving in Vegas.
You guys are fucking cunts. Like you guys driving like you,
they're barely, the roads are barely marked, lanes are barely
marked. It's all fucking faded because
everybody and their fucking grandmother is driving there all
the time. I imagine it's hard for them to
redraw the lines. People do not use their blinker.
They just like it. It was, it was a really wild
experience getting the four miles from the airport to the
hotel. And then, but you know, my
father-in-law picked us up. Oh, oh, starting out this trip,
we get on the plane, we rode Spirit.
Never again will I ride Spirit Airlines.
We were stuck on the tarmac for five hours.
It is a one hour flight by the way, people.
And Spirit is so federally, there's this law that you can't
be on a plane for more than two or three hours without them
offering you water and snacks. Well, we're on this plane,
there's kids, there's babies, we're stuck on this tarmac.
And finally, when it's time to go and we're up in the air, this
lady was like, can I please get like a water?
I have a kid here. Whatever.
We've been here for all these hours.
You guys didn't offer us refreshments.
And the man goes, well, we pulled back up to the terminal
and we opened our door. So technically our time restarts
and we don't need to give you anything for free.
And it, it was just a really like, it was a really wild
experience, but we made it to Vegas.
It was overwhelming that first day, just all of the people.
But Brian and I went out, we explored, saw Caesar's Palace,
which I thought was really beautiful.
And so, so that was fucking cool.
I didn't get as many pictures as I wanted.
Like I imagined I'd be doing tons of content and pictures,
but like you're really living in the moment there and also
people. And like I, I don't know, I just
was like, I felt so on guard while we were there.
So first night we get there, it's whatever, we do our own
thing. And then the next day is my
father in My father-in-law chose to get married on the rooftop in
Vegas at 10:00 AM in August in the desert.
It was hot as balls. My husband looked fine as fuck,
though. And so I was sitting there and I
was just like, damn, like, can we just like we wrap up what
we're doing? Like I want to go hang out, do
my own thing. As we were there, though, it was
it. What was really interesting to
me was I felt this like I'm trying to figure out how to word
it, but I almost felt like people who are raised and grow
up in that environment, I feel like they have to have this like
crazy fight response to everything because while you're
in Vegas, the energy is very much everybody wants something
from you when you're walking, people are trying to stop you so
they can sell you something. They're trying to invite you
down to the pools. They're trying to offer you
drugs. They're trying to get you to go
in and spend money here or there.
They are like stopping you inside of your space and people
bump into you. They don't apologize.
And it was really weird because we like we went into Ross.
Brian forgot shoes for the wedding.
So we went into Ross and he had just like told the girl like,
you know, hope your day gets better because there was a rude
lady in front of us. Hope your day gets better, like
have a wonderful night. And her reaction was like, she
thought that it was rude that he was telling her to have a better
day and like to have a good night.
Like it was almost like she was taken off guard that she wasn't
being treated like shit and it was just a completely different
culture. And it was super triggering for
me. Like it just made me think of
like any icky energy that I've ever been in and like feeling
like I have to be on guard all of the time.
I wouldn't want to go there without my husband.
And I'm very much like not a person that like, I feel like I
need like my man to be around me or whatever, but I just felt
like there's you have to have another set of eyes on you and
not be by yourself because it just feels like unsafe.
I have so many things to say about Sin City Las Vegas, but I
have went to Vegas by myself before and had a literal blast.
I love Vegas. We're going to Vegas in a couple
months. I love Vegas.
I don't know why I love Vegas so much.
I don't love the cigarette smoke, but I like all the lights
and I like all the like people watching.
And honestly, I didn't really like we always rent a car, so we
don't like walk anywhere, like doing all that thing.
I have done Vegas like that. But then I've learned that
getting a rental car is so much better and going out like to
like other places in the city and going thrifting and going
like, you know, just like there's so many things they're
like off the strip, you know. So I always recommend to people
like when you go to Vegas, don't go.
There for just like the nightlife, but like rent a car,
drive to the fucking Grand Canyon.
It's a couple hours. You can drive to Joshua Tree in
a couple hours. It's like you're going to be in
the middle of a scary desert if you do that, but you know,
there's just different places that you can drive and like see
and like you know I just think that it's a really beautiful
place. I like the desert itself, but I
would never go in the summer. I only go like in like November
or like late fall or like you know what I mean?
Like I'm or not really trying to go in the peak of summer, but I
have went in August before it is hot.
I've been in May before it was hot.
Like I've been a lot, but I like New Year's Eve is fun there.
I went New Year's Eve one time and it was amazing.
And then, you know, I think it's all about what you do when
you're there. Like the shows and the different
stuff that I've done. It's been like a cool
experience. I've seen Criss Angel a few
times. But yes, people are weird.
You do have to watch people, but I just be watching people I
don't know. Like I have like a radar for it.
And I just feel like I feel fine there.
But people are definitely going to try to take advantage of
people they think that they can take advantage of for sure.
That's why like, I wouldn't recommend getting really drunk
or that's how they fuck you over.
It's because you start getting drunk, you start getting fucked
up, then you start pulling money out the bank because it feels
fun. All of a sudden this feels so
fun and you're like, Oh my God, I have $800 in the bank.
I'm just going to pull 500 out. Yeah, it definitely wasn't a
negative experience like it it was.
But I think that the thing that I liked most was just having
time like away from our life and like our kids and just like
getting time by ourselves. But if I could choose places to
go to do that, Vegas wouldn't be one of them.
Like I don't. And and I think a big part is
like I don't like spending money unnecessarily, like gambling to
me, like it's fun to go and play.
We played roulette. That was like what we played a
lot and we did a horse race thing and so like those two
things are fun. Cool.
I could do literally anything else to blow money except hope
and pray that there's a 50% chance that I get my fucking
money back. Like that's not fun to me.
I'm anxious. I have to shit myself because if
I lose this money, like I'm just going to be fucking annoyed.
I don't like drinking and I don't like drunk people, so how?
And I don't like cigarettes. So having to go down where y'all
are drinking and smoking like that is not my fucking vibe.
But I loved the lights. I loved when we got off the
strip and we because my father-in-law got married there
and his wife's family was there. So we and they have I don't know
what her her parents did but they had a nice house in Vegas
with like a big pool in the back and stuff like that.
When you went into their house, it literally reminded me of just
like mob homes. It had like fur rugs and shit
like that. And it just like, I don't know.
The house has definitely made me feel like like mob mafia vibes.
And that's probably because of all of the videos, like all of
the movies that have taken place like in fucking Vegas and
casinos and stuff like that. So I thought that part was cool.
But we also drove through a lot of areas that were like, like,
I've driven through neighborhoods and stuff where
you could tell like they didn't have a lot of money and there
was like a lot of poverty in the neighborhoods.
But I've never seen so many houses and, and such a long area
where it was like, you know, those people don't have food,
you know, that they probably don't have power half the time.
The places like, you know, crumbling down, you have kids
bikes outside and stuff. So, you know, kids are living in
those environments and and whatnot.
So there was just so much different.
I didn't prepare my energy. And I think that's really what
it comes down to is because I had never been there.
I didn't know what to experience.
I don't feel like I was energetically prepared for the
amount of people of different circumstances that you're going
to come into and of needing to like have my guard up and, and
feeling that way. You didn't take the term Sin
City to hurt. Well, I wasn't going to get a
fucking hooker, right? So like, I didn't know.
Since city didn't do it for you whenever they were like, yeah,
you know, But I think people do go to Vegas and sell their soul.
They go there and lose their life savings.
They go there and lose their retirement, their families
savings, their grandfather's estate, you know, like whatever.
Like you know, that's the one thing that I don't like about
gambling is because I have people in my family that are
kind of like avid gamblers if they have access to funds.
And even if they don't, they would spend like, you know,
their last $50.00 and get like half with food and half on some
lottery tickets type deal, you know what I mean?
And like, you know, no worries about it at all.
But I think gambling for me is like I'm willing to like, if I'm
willing to like lose $200 normally if I just say like I'm
going to gamble with this $200.00 and if I win, I win.
If I lose, I lose. If I have that type of attitude,
I'll normally win because I'm not attached.
But the moment that I'm like, I have to have this $200, I won't
even want to gamble it because at that point I'm attached to it
and you're kind of blocking it coming in.
So anytime I've won and I have one, one time I put $20.
My last I had $50.00 and I split it with someone.
I gave someone 25 and I took 25 and I was going to spend 20
gambling and just keep the five, right?
Like you don't want to spend all your money, right?
I put 20 in a slot and I pulled it and it hit for $12150.
And obviously like that has never happened again.
But it is a memory that is a core memory of like, you know,
pay the lady. So anyways, we ended up taking
that money and splitting it and actually winning a lot of money.
Like I left with like $2000 that night and I had $25.00 to my
name at the point. So, you know, sometimes I think
that gambling can be fun and there is that adrenaline rush.
But if I'm not willing to part with the money, there's no point
in me gambling it. I do a lot better when people
give me money to gamble with. Like I'll do anything with your
money. Because then I'm not attached at
all and I'll win like literally like I'm a very good lucky charm
when it's someone else's money. But that being.
Said. You know, I feel like if I'm in
Vegas, I like give myself like $200 for that or a lot of times
I'll I'll just do like 100 here, 100.
They're like, I'm not going to do 200 at once or whatever.
But normally like I win some or if I don't like I'm not
tripping, but I have I have one like on some slots in Vegas and
stuff too. But like it is one and just like
1 millionth for you to back up and hit something on a slot.
Like, you know, a lot of times you've got to be sitting there
for an extended amount of time. And then in a gamblers brain
they truly believe like well I fed it all this money so it's
going to hit and then it like just keeps taking the money.
We won some money playing roulette and we ended up going
to this restaurant and we did like a breadboard and we did
this like seafood tower and it was so fucking good.
It was so much fun. I like, I don't think that it's
not fun to like go and gamble and like have a good time.
And I sound like I'm just fucking like complaining and
like a stick in the mud, which I'm not.
I just, if we hadn't been going there for his wedding and had
like this family experience there, I feel like I would have
really wished that we had gone somewhere different.
And I, I think that there's, there's so many triggers that I
had for just, and that that's really what it comes down to is
I think that people can go and have an amazing time.
For me, I just felt a lot of triggers about things because
I've worked really hard to remove myself from energies
where I feel like people just want to like take advantage of
something. Or where I feel like I always
have to be on guard or like I and I have a really hard time
with like mass amounts of people or again, people drinking around
me. Like those are just triggers for
me. So I went to a space where
that's what it's all about and I went in there knowing that's
what it would be about. But sometimes you don't realize
the impact that things are going to be on until you're there.
And something that I kept thinking about while we were
there too, is like, I'm seeing these like gross rich dudes
fucking walking around places or whatever.
And I'm thinking about like, there are girls here in this
city who literally have to touch a fucking Weiner for $100
because they need to fucking eat tonight.
And you look fucking greasy as shit.
And you're just sitting there fucking smoking those
cigarettes. But I know you have money and I
know you're going to pay for someone to come and touch it.
And like, so it was like, it was just a fucking thing.
And then I was thinking about like, damn, Bunny was raised
here and she's had like, you know, these experiences being
out here, like how scary that must be that like you have to go
with somebody up to their hotel room and like, that's your
survival thing is like, you have to do this.
And this is a position that like you're putting yourself into
because you have to to survive. And I just like, I had so many
emotions and things. It it was a whole thing.
He was in their channel, in them spirits.
Dude, I was, it literally felt like I was having this like
spiritual experience there that I was like half down for and
half scared of. OK, so Vegas and Nevada has like
different microorganisms. I don't know how many, but
there's like over 10 that only exist in Nevada, like in the
world. And then like, you know, like
Area 51 is in Nevada. So like, I think Nevada has a
lot of secrets and a lot of spiritual stuff.
And they put like Vegas there is like a distraction.
It's kind of just look over here.
It's right. It's shiny.
Come get fucked up. Come have a good time.
And you'll just never even think about the rest of the desert.
You know how many people I know who have been to Vegas like a
handful of times and have never seen the Grand Canyon?
And I've been to Vegas probably like probably like 7 times and
I've been the Grand Canyon at least three of those times.
This most recent time I took my dad out there because like my
dad had never been and now like my dad.
Dad to Vegas. Because we have the same
birthday. So yeah, we went out there for
our birthday and. People think your dad's fine.
Who's seen my dad? You've posted your dad before.
Said that you've posted your dad before.
You've posted your dad before, and I don't remember who said
it, but I remember there was like, no, there were text
messages with people talking about how your dad was hot.
And I can't remember if it came to us in a group or just to me
privately, but there were at least two people.
I remember getting at least 2 text messages about one of them
I didn't know Paige is dating somebody or I didn't know you're
dating somebody. And then there was another one.
And yeah. No, Oh my God, this is news.
But the craziest thing about my dad is what?
It has. News In high school, I was
hanging out with this girl and her mom and her came to pick me
up at my house. And, like, my dad was like a
helicopter dad. So he would always want to go
out and, like, meet the parent and, like, talk about everything
or whatever. And whenever he walked outside,
this lady hopped out of her car, jumped, wrapped her arms around
his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist.
And this is my friend's mom. And at the time, I was like,
what the literal fuck is going on?
But come to find out, they had dated, like, back in their
Yonder years. And yeah, we're having a whole
moment. And so, yeah, yeah, my dad has
been. Imagine seeing somebody that
like you dated back in the fucking day and just being like,
I'm going to run up to you and I'm just going to throw my body
on your body. I don't know your marital
status. I don't know what the fuck.
I don't know if you have herpes now, but I don't know what's
going on with you, but I'm about to on your bone.
Literally. Yeah, that's exactly what
happened. I don't know.
That's wild. My stepdad, when I was, I was in
high school and we went to church.
It was my mom, my stepdad and I. And one of the ladies in Sunday
school was like, are you going to introduce me to your little
friend? And I was like, that's my dad.
And she got so mad because she thought that we were fucking
with her. And so my mom had to be like,
no, like that's my husband. Like what the fuck?
And I'm over here. Just like I could have dry
heaved. Like don't ever accuse me of
being with my father. Wow, well that's what you just
said, that someone texted you in a text.
Yeah, that's fine. I mean, it's not my dad, so they
can say whatever they want about your dad.
Girl no. You're so caught off guard.
She can't even adjust right now. She's just like what?
I would say that I wish that I could tell you who it was too
and it wasn't anytime recently. I feel like you guys.
I post my dad like a year ago. That's when it was because I
remember you were, you guys went out and you grabbed food or
something like that and you got complimented.
Dude, I don't know too much about your life.
I feel like you got complimented on your jacket or something like
that. You're wearing a Jean jacket.
You're so cute. You're so cute.
Why? She's so cute?
Look, we haven't been doing the podcast and we've been missing
all the details. What were you?
What were you going to say? You said you were to tell me
something. I know I told you about Vegas.
I don't know when's the last time we talked.
There's so much shit to catch up on.
I know it really feels like we took forever off the podcast.
I guess it's been about 3 months and that's definitely a long
time. A lot happens in three months.
And you know, I feel like I've went through so many changes
just this year. I feel like 2024 has been a hard
year. Like it has been a hard year.
When you think that COVID was four years ago.
That's fucking wild talk. Like that's so wild.
And like I feel like there's just so much that has happened
and even for the worse, I feel like things have gotten worse.
Like when they could have gotten better, there was a chance for
them to get better and they got worse.
And I think that so many people were trying to get in tune with
them self. And the reason that things got
worse is because people still need to dedicate that time and
not go out to the bars, not go to the places that remember when
they were closed, we couldn't go to them, you know, and like
having to set with yourself and having to set in your own
energy, like that stuff is difficult.
And I think that's like important as like going and
being triggered and going to places that trigger us and, and
learning things about our triggers, like knowing damn
well, like you said, I would never go there without my
husband, you know, so like never going on a girls trip there
because we go there. I'm.
Not I'm not going on a girls trip to Vegas, I tell you that
right now. And it doesn't have anything to
do with like, it's not that I felt like physically unsafe when
we were there. Like I that's not, it was all
just like the emotional aspects of it.
And like, it was so nice when we would like go back to the hotel
room and I could just be like, these are all of the things that
like I felt and experienced emotionally, mentally while we
were out there walking around. Or like, you know, when, you
know, we're in the casino and that dude like bumped into me
and I can tell you that like he has his wife and kids at home
and they don't know that he's on this trip right now.
And you know what I mean? Like just all of these different
like, like fucking things, dude. Yeah, she was reading them like
Phil's. She was.
Like I could not turn on Are you teething on your?
Wife, she's like damn dirty, but that's crazy, you know, that's
what. I'm saying that's why I'm like
that. That's why I'm like, it was, it
was just so like I could not turn down the like there was no
protecting my energy from any of the messages and things coming
through. So like, I see greasy old dude
over there and I'm like, you're about to go and try to find like
the youngest hooker that you can get yourself and like it.
Like it was just, it was just a little bit too much.
Yeah. I mean, you know, it's crazy.
I feel like I used to really be like, in tune with like a lot of
random energies in the past, like when I first was in my
spiritual journey, like so loudly, you know, I don't know,
Like, I remember that and like, I don't know, I just kind of
like turn that off because I don't want that.
I do not. I mean on the and on the
regular, it's like able to happen, but like I just and I I
don't have that issue except there dude, and I was just so
uncomfortable. Vegas can be intense and
honestly, like I've been to Vegas and like, you know,
sometimes people are fucking weird and you kind of just got
to like check people on the street or wherever.
Like it's not how people like people are just hard on their
luck out there too. You know what I mean?
Like it is a weird environment. Like I can agree with that
though. But I personally, when I go out
there, I don't really have like a care in the world.
I don't know why. I just be loving.
Like I just be loving it out there.
Have no allergies. I'm just out here.
Damn water bottle. Big water bottle.
Hell yeah you gotta. I like to be fucking hydrated.
I don't know, Like I'll never have to.
This bitch can hold like a gallon of water.
I'm I'll see she's going on a hike.
That's her Juggie, says Juggie. It's called the Juggie.
I see it. It's like it, says Juggie.
And. I was like, damn, you're so
smart. It's a Juggie.
She's so funny. Yeah, I think that the Juggie is
a good addition. Everyone needs to drink more
water. And it has these cute little leg
buttons that you can get that like can come off.
So I've got like a coffin, obviously, just like all types
of stuff. Wow, wow.
It's like a pair of Crocs, but it's a Juggie.
You remember those bracelets that they used to have, those
that had like the little metal squares on them, like the charm
bracelets, and you used to pinch the fuck out of yourself just to
get that thing on and off. Yeah, yeah, I actually had a
bunch of those. You know, I like, I've always
loved stickers and collected stickers.
And I have like all the $0.50 stickers from like the machines,
like the old ones and like the homey ones and all kinds of
different ones. Yeah, I have like so many
different stickers. And then like at that time, my
mom's best friend owned a grocery store, so they had those
machines. So they would get like the demo
packs of like what would be in there and I would get like the
whole pack of like what was going to be in the machine.
So at that time I was really up on.
Stickers, like City Girls was up on the stickers and I have all
of them because I was like an anxiety ridden child who didn't
want to stick them anywhere because I did stick them, you
know, like over the years, stick them and stuff and then you
would like lose them, you know what I mean?
So like, it's funny, the ones that I still have, I have quite
a few, like a lot. I love it.
I don't think there's anything that I I'm trying to think if
there was anything that I had like collected, but I don't
really think so. Although I did my parents were
cleaning out my old bedroom at their house and they found this
pencil box. I had this like little best
friend and I dated her older brother for a while and she used
to write me, we used to write each other letters back and
forth and like the most like elaborate written out letters.
And so I had this like huge pencil box of just like written
out letters from her that I didn't even know that I had
kept. And I was reading through them.
And I'm like, I don't remember a single fucking one of these
things. And she's talking about like, Oh
my God, it was so much fun sneaking out and like going here
and going there, like can't wait for you to stay in there at the
house again. I'm like, I don't remember
sneaking out with you. I don't remember doing any of
this. Damn, I used to write letters
with people. I used to have a shoe box full
of letters. I have like.
I don't think I have those, but I have like, you know, yearbooks
and different things and like a lot of keepsakes.
But like the moment that I got my own place, my dad just
literally loaded up everything that was like that he had in his
house. So I have like a collection of
VH s s, like original, like old style Disney and just different
VH s s. I have the VCR too.
And then I have like all the hardback Doctor Seuss books,
which are worth quite a bit of money.
I think all of mine are first edition.
I have all first edition Harry Potter hardback books.
So I have like a lot of like, just like stuff like that.
Actually have a Barbie suitcase that's hot pink, that's full of
Barbies that are just like beat the shit.
Like, I don't even know what's in the Barbie case, but I have a
lot of stuff from my childhood, just random stuff that like, I
don't really know what to do with it, but I don't want to get
rid of it. Just kind of like, you know, I
have nostalgia. Yeah, I have it.
And so it's like maybe one day I'll display all my VHS.
So this thing that my something, I don't know.
Watch them. I'm not sure.
I know some of those are worth a lot of money.
Watch There's going to be a mandala effect that VHS has
never even existed and that it's all a figment of everybody's
imagination. And then I'm going to have a
whole box of them like. Yeah, but it's kind of like like
how they say that like the Fruit of the Loom label didn't used to
be what it is, like the cornucopia or whatever.
And then there's also movies that they're like, those don't
exist, but people have the VHS. But when you go and Google it,
it'll be like this movie never existed.
This actor says that they never did that movie.
And you're like, no, legitimately like I'm holding
the VHS of Sinbad right now. Yes, Sinbad, I knew you were
going to. I want to say that, you know, I
really feel like I saw that movie as a kid.
Like like I saw the movie like it is a movie.
So I get it. I understand.
Well it's like how they say movie quotes are changed, like
everybody has the same movie quote and then they'll be like
no, it was said this way and not this way and like I'm sorry but
entire 4 generations of people are not remembering the quote
from Mary Poppins the wrong fucking way.
And that Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump, they say that it was
always life is like a box of chocolates or something like
like. Yeah, life is like a box of
chocolates. You never know what you're going
to get. Yeah.
You never know what you're going to get.
Yeah. And they say it's different than
that. Yeah, well, I don't believe that
at all, and I think Tom Hanks is in on it.
I think that they like feed us movies and different things for
a reason that they set precedents through like movies
and like the concepts they teach you, whether they teach you like
this is the perfect family or this is right, this is wrong,
this is good, this is bad, this is scary, whatever it is like.
And I just think that like people absorb these timelines
and absorb so much stuff that like manifest because of like
collective thought, collective locus, collective emphasis this.
And I like for the last probably, I don't know, like 10
years of my life, if something super popular like at that time,
I just will not pay attention to it.
Like was like, you know, Game of Thrones, everyone was like, you
should watch it. So I've never watched it.
Sons of Anarchy watched like maybe one episode, that's it.
Like never watched it. Like just different things that
were. Fucking mouse.
Super popular. Not that I wouldn't watch it, it
was just like when it was popular.
Like same thing with Breaking Bad.
When Breaking Bad was super popular I didn't want to watch
it, but then I watched it on my own time and enjoyed it very
much. You see what I'm saying?
It's not that I watched it, it's just that when it's popular I'm
like, y'all can have that. I don't want to be in the
collective conversation about it.
Does that make sense? No, totally.
I'm I'm the same way about those things.
Also Sons of Anarchy worth watching but I've never seen
Game of Thrones. Breaking Bad I never watched
when it was popular, it was afterwards.
So so very much similar with you.
But I, I also think that that has to do with the fact that we
don't want to have our emotions in reality taken away because of
what the mask people are doing, which is like, you know, when
everybody was having the COVID hysteria and whatever, you and I
were both like, we're not fucking taking your shot.
Like, you know what I mean? Like we're not, that's not
something that we're doing. We're not bringing that into our
reality, whatever. And that's one of those things
too, like even that even the COVID thing, like I feel like
the same way that you're talking about them doing that with
movies, that was its own test and its own like, what can we
get society, you know, to do? And something that is happening
here locally in one of our local towns is that they're trying to
close down bars and not have and make it so that people can't go
in and like buy alcohol anymore and like it go into these bars
and which takes away like a huge like economic revenue locally
and stuff like that. And so they, they noticed that
during COVID, like there's not really anything that you're
going to be able to do about it other than what like sue the
fucking city. OK, cool.
And so when everybody gets into these like hysterias, and this
is my personal thing, but I think that anytime that you get
into trying to take away other people's rights because they
don't align with what you like and what you think should
happen, you set the precedent that if something isn't agreed
on, everybody can just come together, agree that they don't
want to do that and overthrow other people and, and silence
people's voices. And I've becoming, I've the
older that I get and the more that people are talking about
politics and are talking about different things, the more that
I noticed that it's a very like, well, those people are evil
because they believe these things and want and want this
and they want to have these rights.
Let's shut those down. But these are the ones that we
stand for. And if they try to come at us
then like they're evil, awful people.
And it's just you can't ever win.
Somebody always is going to try and take away something that you
have. You know what I mean?
Like, you're going to not have healthcare over here.
You're not going to have guns over here.
Like, it just instead of it being a culture of like,
everybody's a fucking adult. And like, you shouldn't have to
have Big Daddy in the White House to tell you what the fuck
is right and wrong or how to do things ethically and morally
because you're a fucking adult. Yeah, I think that they really
need to bring ethics and morals and, like, those types of
conversations and, like, classes back to the masses.
Like they used to teach people like home EC and, you know,
teach people like, life skills and, you know, wood shop and
different things. And I just feel like they're
dooming the children by dumbing them down and giving them iPads
and giving them notebooks and, like, teaching them that a
screen is all that they will need.
And, you know, they can use a fucking calculator.
So they're not even learning math at all.
Like we were not allowed to use a fucking calculator just
because it existed. We were also brainwashed at that
time to be told that you wouldn't be able to use one in
the future, even though that's a bullshit boldface Slack.
And you know, but The thing is, is like a lot of people have no
life skills. They're not being taught life
skills at home, and they're really not being taught or
nurtured at school. But yeah, you know, tax dollars
are funding the schools even if you don't have kids.
That's the one thing that irks me the most about, like not
having children is because, like, you're funding the public
schools in these big cities because I live in a big city
regardless. So it's like, you know, we are
getting no say, you know, at least if you have a child in the
school, I guess you could join like the PTA or you could join
something an advocate for your child and their needs or
whatever, right. But like, you know, I, I just
think the system's so fucked up. Like it makes, it's like it
makes little to no sense on the way that they do things.
And, you know, like even just emergency services like
healthcare services and ambulance services and you know,
people needing to have rods to doctor's appointments and A to
appointments and things like that.
Like there's so many hoops that these people have to jump
through or like so many things that they have to go through
that like a lot of people couldn't even fathom or really
understand. And, you know, I think the
system just heavily focuses on everything outside of the home.
And it really does start like within the home because if
you're not being taught morals and values and you know, you're
not growing in your home and a lot of children are not and a
lot of people are not, it's, it can be detrimental to
everything. Yeah, I recently had this
conversation with somebody because I got a post on one of
my videos. I was eating McDonald's or
something and they commented about like where McDonald's like
spent, you know, spends their money or, or whatever they
support. And so I got into this
conversation with somebody where I'm like, I am an American who
has to pay taxes on and my money gets spent on things that I
don't fucking agree with, you know what I mean?
Like, regardless of where we're putting our money, it is
supporting somebody spending that money on something that we
don't have an agreement with. And literally like down to the
toilet paper that you buy and everything else.
Like those companies allocate their funds to all types of
things you may not believe in. You know, Chick-fil-A spends
money on shit that I don't believe in, but I love me a
chicken sandwich. So like it's, it's so
unrealistic to boycott things and shame and it's like the
culture of shaming other people because they're doing something
that you don't feel like aligns with you instead of like minding
your own fucking business. Also to like this will be a
thought process that people don't fucking like.
But instead of spending all of this money to organize,
petitioning for the government to put funds where you think the
government should put funds, and spending thousands of dollars to
organize these things, you could literally put that thousands of
dollars towards the thing you're asking the government to pay
for, since you're going to spend money anyways.
Yes, yes, I there is a lot that is backwards.
I think a lot of people have gotten into like the GoFundMe
culture thinking that like, oh, you know, I want to go to
college, people can help donate or I want to do this, people can
help donate. And I mean, I guess, but I think
sometimes like those should only be used in certain
circumstances. I know we've talked about that
in the past, like certain health circumstances and sudden deaths
and wrongful death circumstances.
But like I've seen people start to go fund me because they want
a boob job, because they want a BBL, you know what I mean?
Like there's been all kinds of things that I've seen, you know,
and, and obviously this was not someone I personally knew.
It was just something, a viral thing.
But people don't want to grind towards their goals and dreams
as much as other people. And the other people that do are
paying both. They're paying both.
Well, it's kind of like how there's the expectation of like,
if you do well in life and you bust your ass and you end up
being wealthy or having, you know, a, a multitude of
abundance that's more than somebody else inside of your
space. There's the entitlement that
will you have it and I don't have it and we're friends or,
you know, you're my aunt or whatever.
So like you should share some of that with me.
Oh, she's just, you know, they're selfish because they
live in this beautiful home and they go on these trips or
whatever and they're not helping us with the whatever.
It's the it's, there's always an expectation that the things that
are important to somebody else or what their needs are should
be what's important to you and what you care about.
I think money brings out true colors in people and I like
literally do not subject to like some of the concepts that I've
been taught about money and like taught about things are like
being raised by people who like to gamble and like to party,
like to drink, you know, like it's not a great combination.
Money I think brings out, you know, it brings out good and
bad. I think that's why, you know,
some people don't a lot of their money.
Some people live beyond their means so they can donate and
help others and do whatever. Some people don't care about
other people, you know, I think, I think there should be a level
playing ground that's got to like give to the point of like,
just because I work harder doesn't mean I should have to do
all this extra. I think.
I think there should be more like real resources for the
people who need it and less resources for people who are
taking advantage of the systems. And, you know, I think that a
lot of those funds and things like that should be allocated
towards veterans and, you know, people who have served our
country and helped, you know, gave their life really, you
know, or even like my grandpa got drafted and against his will
had to go to Vietnam War. So everyone else can sip on
milkshakes and chill, you know, like the summer before prom, I
might add. So anyways, you know, like he
was like 16. So I don't know.
I mean, I think that this whole system's fucked up because
that's fucked up. I know people inside of real
everyday life who are completely capable of working, go go out,
have a job, absolutely no fucking reason that they're
incapable of it. And they would prefer to have
welfare and have people pay into them.
And because they've, you know, worked a couple jobs or whatever
before, like, Oh, I, I've paid into it.
So like, I, I just deserve to sit back and like collect this
money and, and whatever. And like these, these systems
are set in place to help people who need help.
And I feel like people take advantage of, of temporary help
and try to make it permanent because it seems like it's so
much easier for you to sit back and not have to do anything.
And whether you're on Gofundmes or you're applying for, you
know, state welfare and things like that, eventually I just
believe that these things that we're pointing out and whatever
people who are keeping themselves in small, limited
energies are going to recoup that in a bunch of different
areas of their life, whether we can see that or not.
They're going to have less opportunities for things.
They're going to meet less people and be surrounded by
other energies that are not interested in growing and
they're never going to actually meet like their full potential
that they could inside of this space because they continuously
put themselves in spaces to lower their vibration.
And just to specify, I'm not saying there's anything wrong
with needing help or needing to be on welfare or utilize, you
know, any resources that people have available to them because
that's a real thing. But people who live their life
to take advantage of others and to take advantage of systems and
and whatever they can and nickel and dime their way through,
those people will always stay in lower vibrational things.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
You know exactly who the fuck I'm talking about, and thank
you. You know, and honestly, I've
seen people who have a lot of potential still want to stay
like under the radar and like not rise to the occasion on
things. And like, you know, I think
sometimes people are just comfortable in what they're
familiar with. They're comfortable with like
how the, the, the lifestyle that they're living or like how they
live, even though they know they need certain things, they need
to change their things. They need to do certain things
like, and if you need to do those certain things, you would
you think that in your brain you're like, OK, well, I'm going
to work towards making that happen.
I'm going to work towards making that happen.
Instead of just like, no, I'm just going to kick my feet up
and say I need those things and say that it'd be nice if I had
those things. Other people have those things
like I should have those things like that entitlement, you know
what I mean? And that's what I see like from
a lot of energy is it like turns into that entitlement of like,
you know, they have it, so I should have it too.
And I think that's where the off balance is in the collective.
But you know, it sucks to see someone that you care about have
more potential than they're wanting to like utilize or
someone that you care about that you know is capable of doing
certain things, but is like not going to or not wanting to or
not emotionally available too. You know, like, I think so many
different levels of that, like people can resonate with
whether, you know, it's a family member, a partner, someone
especially like our parents. Nothing a lot of times, like we
have like deeper trauma than we're willing to admit with our
parents, especially if our parents are still active in our
life and still like alive and kick in and like in our world
and in our reality. Sometimes it's hard to admit
that like. That we do have active trauma
and that we are triggered by certain emotions or things or
certain feelings and concepts bring out negative emotion.
My cat is being bad. But you know, I think sometimes
our emotional attachments is what really keeps us in those
stagnant cycles and keeps us activating that time and time
again. I agree.
And I and I think too that, you know, emotional attachments to
things. Also, people will say things
people that were close to or that we, you know, have some
type of an emotional connection with sometimes say things in the
space of jealousy, being jealous that they don't have things that
they see you having or mindsets that you're having or whatever.
Recently there was somebody who has been in our life for a few
years and they're they have to be a space in our life and
they're like, Oh, well, you know, I know where you guys came
from and like, it's great that you guys are doing well now.
But like, you know, I remember when you guys were down and now.
And so like, if I'm needing money or I'm needing something,
like you guys should give that to me because you've been in the
place that I'm in. And it like sparked like a huge
conversation with my husband and I because, you know, your
emotions get hit, right? Because somebody who wants to
take advantage of something and want something from you.
People are very good at manipulating emotional energy
and making themselves a victim and something and making you
feel guilty for having more, doing more, achieving more.
And it's so much, I don't think that people necessarily do it on
purpose, but it's such a prevalent thing.
And and we had to really analyze and be like, do we want to give
this money, this person money or like help them with things?
No, we'd like, we've worked our fucking ass off to be where we
are right now. And that's why we're in this
position where, you know, you would come to us and ask these
things. You don't put in any of the
work. And so there's a difference
between like you being a compassionate person and helping
people around you who are like putting in the work and trying
and you just can't get a step ahead because we've all been
there. We've all needed help.
We will all need help again at some point with something.
But that gauge of like, is this person doing everything that
they can inside of their universe, inside it, you know,
what's in their control to try and better themselves?
Or are they just sitting back and being complacent in life and
then blaming people around them for doing well?
Yeah, or becoming bitter if they're not blaming like
internally, like I think some people just internally embody
that like that, like I'm a loser or like, you know, my life sucks
energy. And like they embody that.
And it's not even that they're like comparing or jealous or
upset about other people's life. It's just like, this is my life
and like, it's just what it is kind of thing, you know what I
mean? And like, I don't know a lot of
people, I feel like I get into that stagnant energy.
And sometimes like a relationship will send you into
that spiral or a breakup or a heartache or, you know, losing
someone, losing a spouse, losing a friend, losing somebody, you
know, different things send us into depressions and triggers.
And I think sometimes people get into those cycles and it's just
like, well, my life is just every time I get excited about
something, this happens or every time this happens, it goes bad.
Or, you know, just having that mindset is attracting that.
And like always having that reminder that we try to remind
people is like, you know, is easy as it is to dwell and like
worry. It is the worst thing to do for
your outcome. And we are all guilty of it.
Like I like recently went through something and I was just
like in fear. And I and like at the same time
like knew it was going to be okay, but still was in like a
fearful mindset. And I think that at every
corner, if you're leading with fear, like expect fear, like
expect things to fear, then you know, because you're kind of
attracting that. And you know, we have to lean
into like our truth more than what other people are showing us
because everything is subject to change.
Like there really is no concept of constant when dealing with
other people's emotions or even our own emotion because from
day-to-day, we always are wanting something different.
Or there may be like 1 underlying thing that you want
but at the end of the day like you become and change your your
perception of that as time goes on.
You know, because not meant to receive right at that moment.
I think that's big to being able to see things that you know
you're going to receive, but understanding that it's just not
meant for this timeline right this moment, and that you have
to be patient for however that ends up unfolding for you.
Think this is perfect too? Leave the conversation that
because you know, sometimes we do have to trust the divine
timing of things. Yeah, well, it was nice being
back. Yay, I know I loved it, I love
it here and we will see you next time in Candy Land.
Bye bye rapper. Leave me like a lollipop,
lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop.