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Welcome back to another episode 
of Look at Like a Lollipop, the 

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podcast. 
This week I have an amazing 

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guest. 
Her name is Baneful Bell, and I 

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am so grateful that you're here 
with me today. 

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How are you doing? 
Good, good. 

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Having a good day so far. 
So you originally popped up on 

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my explore page and it was like 
this beautiful altar that you 

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had outside in your garage, I 
assume? 

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Yeah, yeah, I do. 
I do all my witchcraft work in 

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the garage, actually. 
It's just more like fire safe 

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and we just need the room 'cause
we have a lot of clients. 

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We work with a lot of different 
people and we like to do group 

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spell work essentially, which is
like, I think a lot of 

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practitioners do it, but they're
kind of scared to like show that

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because there's a lot of like 
Sigma and Biasy around it. 

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But I like to be like as 
transparent and open as possible

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with my clients. 
So we just made the garage an 

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entire work area in the house. 
Yes. 

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And when you speak on fire safe,
I have had my issues. 

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Like I have my office, which was
the room I was doing all my 

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spell work in. 
And then I literally almost 

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caught it on fire one day. 
And I realized that like there 

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just wasn't enough room for the 
flames to like breathe or like 

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for the flames to be able to 
like do their own thing. 

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So I started doing it in my 
kitchen and I had there was this

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lady, she's no longer doing 
spell work. 

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She actually denounced her whole
practice, but she would make 

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these like layered candles where
she would like roll them. 

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She would take a chime candle 
and she'd roll it in like an 

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oil, and then she would dress it
with herbs and then take another

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chime candle and seal it in, 
picking it up. 

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And I thought like, oh, you 
know, this is fine. 

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I'm gonna put it in a metal 
dish. 

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Well, I didn't realize the metal
dish was so circular that it 

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created like a flame portal. 
Like it created like a whole 

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thing. 
And. 

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Yes, it was very scary though. 
It was so very like have had 

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several close calls with like 
glass breaking or just issues 

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overall like I get. 
To I've had to like rush spells 

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out to like a porch before cuz 
I'm like, oh, this is too out of

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control. 
It's always whenever I've done 

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like a group spell, whenever 
I've done more than one candle, 

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then, you know, I just like to 
add a lot of herbs and make it 

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really pretty. 
And it just sometimes, sometimes

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spells that look super aesthetic
and pretty, you better have a 

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fire extinguisher nearby 
because. 

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Seriously, like I was looking in
my office the other day and I 

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did not realize from the day 
that that spell went crazy that 

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the smoke detector was like 
working overtime, that there's 

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like black on the smoke 
detector. 

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Like it was bad. 
Like it was scary. 

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Honestly, I don't try. 
I try not to use a lot of herbs 

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in the scale itself. 
Like I don't create a bowl with 

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like herbs as the base anymore 
because I've done that and 

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that's scary. 
It gets scary. 

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We take our herbs and we mix it 
in a blender and we make mixes 

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for our base. 
So we have our love spell base 

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because when you mince it up, it
creates less of like a fire 

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safety as well too. 
So you're still using the same 

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ingredients, but it's like 
minced down, if that kind of 

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makes sense. 
Yeah, yeah. 

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They add like stuff to like 
customize the spell work, like 

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we customize everyone's spell 
work, obviously, but we have 

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like the base herb for it and we
do it that way. 

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And that, yeah, we, we take fire
safety really seriously because 

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we all have had really close 
calls with fire. 

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We all have practice fire. 
I think like every witch, even 

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if they don't want to admit it, 
has practiced something that's 

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like been not fire safe, you 
know, and that's how we learned.

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OK, wait, hold on. 
I need to make sure that I'm. 

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Yes. 
Like I found this brass, like 

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it's a really cool thing that I 
do. 

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It's on my altar. 
It's basically just like a big 

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brass kind of like plate. 
And it has some elevation to it 

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so it doesn't set directly on 
the wood or whatever you're 

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setting it on. 
And it has been such a godsend 

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because if it's in that, I feel 
safe to know like it's not going

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to break, it's not going to burn
through. 

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But I had something that I 
thought was fire safe and it got

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so hot on the bottom that it 
literally burned a ring on my 

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previous altar. 
I always go in the cooking 

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section. 
That's where I got my trays 

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from. 
The cooking section in Dollar 

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Tree actually is where we get 
those cute little silver trays 

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that we use for our clients. 
Yeah, I saw those. 

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So when you say we, I saw that 
you have a business partner. 

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So you 2 do everything together.
I do we now we have 3 different 

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witches that work full time at 
my business and we live 

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together. 
So we have we have Vespertine 

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and then blue is our like baby 
witch. 

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So they're new to witchcraft. 
They're learning. 

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So they're kind of just like our
assistant slash like they're 

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just learning under us right 
now, if that kind of makes 

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sense. 
Vespertine has been was 

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originally my mentor. 
She's been studying witchcraft 

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for like over 20 years. 
So it's been really cool 

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experience, like learning from 
her, but we were friends. 

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We met on TikTok and then we 
became friends. 

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We'd FaceTime all the time. 
And then like three years later 

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down the line, she was like, 
come move to Santa Barbara. 

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I was like not in a good place. 
So I was like, I just need a 

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change of scenery. 
So I kind of took like a leap a 

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bit and moved down there and 
then our business started 

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growing like crazy together. 
I think we kind of like bounced 

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off of each other's energy. 
We're both like very strong 

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manifestors. 
So I think like combined 

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together, we just kind of we 
grew exponentially overnight. 

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Yeah. 
And I can tell because like just

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from watching your page for like
the last few months, I've 

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noticed the growth that you've 
had just in a few months. 

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Like I really do believe that 
when you're in alignment, 

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nothing will stop you from being
able to bring in what you need, 

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the clients, the whatever it is,
you know, like whatever people 

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think that they're seeking, it 
will really come to you from a 

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space of alignment. 
I totally agree. 

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I feel like because there's a 
lot of people in the community 

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that will even try to like cast 
on me because they're jealous of

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like the amount of clients I 
get. 

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And I'm like, there's enough 
clients for everyone. 

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There's enough, there's enough 
people interested in 

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spirituality and witchcraft for 
everyone. 

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Instead of using and wasting 
your time to like cast on other 

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practitioners or try to bring 
down other practitioners, learn 

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better skills like do a money 
spell. 

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Like, I don't know what to do a 
money spell. 

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Focus on yourself, focus on how 
you're treating your clients, 

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you know, focus on your 
marketing. 

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Like cuz really a lot of these 
people, I'm like, you could be 

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successful, but you're spending 
so much time and energy being 

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negative casting on other people
instead of like putting that 

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energy into your business. 
And I'm like, that's your 

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problem right there. 
Like that. 

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You're not going to be 
successful with that kind of 

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mentality or mindset, you know? 
Well, I think especially women 

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were just taught to compete with
everyone. 

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And then I really noticed how 
many people gate keep in the 

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spiritual arena, which my 
previous business partner that 

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was on the podcast, she was 
really big on witch talk when 

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she was at her prime of her 
business and amount of drama 

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that was on witch talk made me 
really glad that I never ever 

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made it over there. 
Like I never ever made it over 

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there. 
I don't know. 

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I stay out of it, but I get if 
you go to my Instagram, my hate 

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comments are atrocious. 
I rarely ever go into the 

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comments section because it's 
just, it is a minefield. 

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It is a minefield. 
But honestly, I'm glad because I

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used to be really sensitive to 
that kind of stuff. 

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And I feel like this year it 
exposed me. 

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I got, I got on the wrong sides 
of like, like I got onto like 

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atheists talk on accident, 
Christian talk on accident. 

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So I had a lot of people who 
just like hate witches coming 

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across my page. 
And I think like, it was really 

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difficult for me because for a 
while, for good two years, I was

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in like a little bubble of like,
oh, everyone loves witch crap. 

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And then I'm like, Oh my gosh, 
no, actually a lot of people 

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don't. 
And I think it kind of just 

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taught me to like, OK, I don't 
need to like not give validation

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from others, if that kind of 
makes sense. 

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Yeah, I know for sure. 
So I view hate comments now. 

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They don't bother me anymore. 
I'm like, OK, you know, I'm 

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doing something. 
I saw. 

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And she said like they were 
like, what is your like one 

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advice you have for someone who 
wants to be successful? 

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And she's like, if people aren't
hating on you, you're not doing 

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something right. 
And I was like, Yep, I'm taking 

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it because I, I do agree. 
I think like if you're anything,

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regardless of who you are, if 
you're doing something right on 

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social media, you're going to 
have people who love your 

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content, you're going to have 
people who hate your content. 

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And that's just part of the 
game. 

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Yeah, and I think that's really 
a unique place to be of. 

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Like, I'm not trying to impress 
you all. 

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And I also don't care what you 
think either because that gives 

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you such a way of creative 
freedom that I don't think a lot

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of people get to experience. 
Because when the money's coming 

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in, the opportunities are 
flowing, nothing anyone can say 

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is going to affect you. 
It's when your money's blocked 

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and your opportunities are 
blocked or, you know, like you 

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said, you're sending out that 
negativity or you're sending out

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that vibration. 
So what type of advice would you

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have for people who are wanting 
to start a business but are 

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afraid of like judgement or hate
comments? 

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Honestly, maybe this sounds a 
little tone deaf. 

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You have to just suck it up. 
I was terrified. 

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I was terrified. 
I grew up getting bullied. 

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Like I understand how difficult 
it is to put yourself out there 

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and it's going to feel so 
awkward when you first do it. 

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It's going to feel awkward. 
It's going to feel real. 

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And the first few videos you're 
going to post, you're probably 

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not going to go viral. 
You're going to have videos that

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flop. 
I still to this day have videos 

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that flop. 
I think even a video I posted 

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yesterday flopped. 
That's just part of the game. 

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And like, that doesn't mean 
you're a bad creator. 

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That doesn't mean that you can't
make it. 

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That's just like you need to 
fail and flop a few different 

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times before you're going to be 
successful. 

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You have to just be consistent 
and you have to want that for 

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yourself. 
You know, I personally like to 

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do stuff that like, if I feel 
afraid to do something, I'm 

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going to go do it. 
Because ultimately, at the end 

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of the day, fear will keep you 
complacent. 

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Fear will keep you comfortable. 
And it's like if you want to 

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grow and expand, you have to be 
afraid and you have to do stuff 

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that you're going to be afraid 
of doing. 

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But then once you do it, you're 
less afraid. 

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You're you get less and less 
afraid to post. 

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You get less and less afraid of 
people's opinions. 

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The more and more you do it, the
more, the less. 

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And the more and more you do it,
the less and less it bothers 

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you. 
Yeah, that's how it was like 

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whenever, like five years ago 
when I got onto TikTok. 

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There really wasn't a lot of, 
like people on TikTok at that 

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time. 
So there wasn't a lot of like, 

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overload of content. 
So like you would put something 

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out and it would get 15,000 
likes, like easy because there 

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wasn't a bunch of a content on 
there. 

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But I was reading something 
talking about like statistically

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millions of things are being 
uploaded every hour across these

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platforms. 
And it's very competitive now. 

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I mean, I started my TikTok back
in like 2022. 

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So mine was after everyone had 
already started being on TikTok,

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there was already a lot of huge 
creators. 

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So it was really scary. 
And I did like have a lot of 

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00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,520
negative mindsets when I first 
got into it where I would see a 

226
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,600
creator being big. 
And I'm like, why are they big? 

227
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,520
My content's better. 
And I just like, I had to like 

228
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,400
ego check myself. 
I didn't take a step back and 

229
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,480
I'm like, OK, why am I feeling 
this way? 

230
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,160
Like towards their success? 
Because ultimately at the end of

231
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,320
the day, them being successful, 
that has no impact on me. 

232
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:21,560
Like, you know what I'm saying? 
And I need to instead see it as 

233
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:27,440
like, OK, if I think that my 
services are better, then why am

234
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,440
I feeling threatened by this 
other person? 

235
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,400
You know what I'm saying? 
So it's like it's I just had to 

236
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,440
like ego check myself. 
But I think we all fall into it.

237
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:38,440
I think just a lot of people 
don't like to admit it, but we 

238
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,560
all have an ego, We all have an 
ego. 

239
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:46,280
We all feel some type of way, 
especially as a content creator 

240
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,560
sometimes. 
And that's something that you 

241
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:54,080
have to work through or you're 
not gonna grow, you know, 

242
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,800
viewing everyone as a 
competition. 

243
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,960
It didn't work well for me. 
You know, I think I'm like 

244
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,520
blowing crazy this year because 
I started collaborating with 

245
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,040
other people. 
Like if I was overly jealous and

246
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,240
if I didn't check my ego, I 
wouldn't have started working 

247
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,520
with Fespertine and I wouldn't 
have been able to grow my 

248
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,800
business to where it is right 
now, you know? 

249
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,560
And I think it's really 
beautiful doing something like 

250
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:16,520
that you 2 are doing that's very
authentic and like pure because 

251
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:20,760
you can tell in your like alters
or like your setups. 

252
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,960
Like it's really meticulously 
planned out, like all the herbs,

253
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,680
the the candle placements, like 
everything's really beautiful. 

254
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:31,840
And I think so many people 
underestimate what you can get 

255
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,160
at the dollar store to like 
shift your whole life, like you 

256
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,760
said earlier, like do a fucking 
money spell or do something for 

257
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,640
yourself. 
Like, so many people don't 

258
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,320
realize, like, putting makeup on
is glamour magic or getting your

259
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,880
hair done or the reason you feel
so good when you get your hair 

260
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,680
done or when you get like, today
was my eyebrow day. 

261
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,080
So they're really dark today. 
But like, in two days, they'll 

262
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,200
be perfect, you know? 
So it's like the universe puts 

263
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,080
things into your path to make 
you feel good. 

264
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:03,160
But so many people stay in lack,
like lack of mindset, lack of 

265
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,600
energy, lack of confidence. 
And I really do think that's how

266
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,280
this system around us operates 
the way that it did. 

267
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,120
Because if everyone was 
confident enough to like, chase 

268
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,920
their dreams, quit their day job
and move across the country, we 

269
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,800
would have a lot less people 
working for the system, like for

270
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,160
the matrix system itself. 
So I really do admire the 

271
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:28,040
collaboration context because I 
have found that a lot of people 

272
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,480
want to come into my circle 
because they think they can 

273
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,400
benefit from something, not 
really because they want to 

274
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,240
collaborate or like be my 
friend, you know? 

275
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,760
So like I'm trying to navigate 
like being a spiritual person 

276
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,000
and staying open and not being 
like closed off from new 

277
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,400
connection. 
But I have a lot of like really 

278
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,720
high profile clients, people 
that are on TV and music and all

279
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,400
these things. 
So I think a lot of people think

280
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,680
they're going to use me to like 
get closer to someone or like 

281
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:57,200
step stone. 
Right, and I mean that's you 

282
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,480
just need to protect your 
clients at that point. 

283
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,320
You know, I, I work with like 
some high profile clients as 

284
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,240
well too, but that's not I'm not
going to give off their 

285
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,960
information. 
I privacy is like our number one

286
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,480
concern at my company. 
I always make sure whenever I, I

287
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,640
have thousands of reviews that I
do post, but I always make sure,

288
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,560
you know, it's completely 
anonymous. 

289
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,640
I always ask before I post 
reviews to just make sure it's 

290
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:25,680
OK. 
I keep all information as 

291
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:30,000
private as possible, you know, 
and I think that you should have

292
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,040
that kind of mindset if you're 
going to run a spiritual or 

293
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,600
witchcraft business like you. 
These are people's lives. 

294
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,680
They're coming to you. 
And usually they're coming to 

295
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,280
you because they have something 
that's going on in their life. 

296
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,440
Like they're not in the best 
place, you know? 

297
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,800
So like for me, like that would 
be really icky. 

298
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,760
Like I'm not here to take 
advantage of people. 

299
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,280
I'm here to help. 
And I'm not going to exploit my 

300
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,920
kind of clients, you know, So, 
but that's definitely tricky. 

301
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:59,800
I definitely think like not 
everyone has good intentions for

302
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:05,920
you, you know, but I think for 
me a lot, I, I just don't like 

303
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,680
viewing other women as 
competition. 

304
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:13,440
You know, I try to just, I just,
I think a lot of people like 

305
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,080
it's an unpacked misogyny where 
I think like women from birth 

306
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,640
were taught that other women 
are, are competitors. 

307
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,320
When in reality, when we can 
work together, we create really 

308
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,200
beautiful things. 
Yeah, And, you know, I was just 

309
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,800
talking to someone that was 
speaking on community spaces and

310
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,520
how much like community was 
always centered in healing. 

311
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:37,280
Like that was like the forefront
of healing and the the, you 

312
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,040
know, medicine women and 
medicine man and history and 

313
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,560
beyond. 
Like community was at the center

314
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:47,080
of the energy. 
Like we as a collective or as a 

315
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,800
society have really been driven 
apart from community. 

316
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:54,600
And they keep us very exiled and
keep us very indifferent to one 

317
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,800
another. 
And I really do think that's by 

318
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,960
design. 
I really think if like, women 

319
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,800
came together, the world would 
be like, what the fuck? 

320
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,720
Like, you know what I mean? 
Like if women came together and 

321
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:08,920
we're no longer centering men or
centering relationships or 

322
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:13,680
centering these patriarchy, 
patriarchy ideas, everything 

323
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,280
would work better. 
Like they say that women are too

324
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,920
emotional to like be in 
government. 

325
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,079
But like, look at what the fuck 
we have here. 

326
00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:24,760
You know, like, I'm sorry, we're
literally like a reality show. 

327
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,040
That is our life. 
That is the government right 

328
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,280
now. 
So like, don't tell me that 

329
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,720
women are too emotional for 
that. 

330
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:35,240
Is run by women like most of the
people in power in Sweden are 

331
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,720
women and I never see anything 
negative about Sweden on the 

332
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,200
news. 
They're mining, they're mining. 

333
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,800
They're actually I think it 
might be Switzerland. 

334
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,320
There's a couple different 
countries that have women in 

335
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,720
leadership and you know what 
they have free health care. 

336
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:52,200
They have great benefits overall
like they are doing they have 

337
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:56,080
high education levels the happy 
level. 

338
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,760
I don't know if it's like a 
happy meter, I guess, which is 

339
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:04,680
debatable on how you can like if
you can really measure 

340
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,840
happiness, you know. 
But overall people have higher 

341
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,040
life expectancies, higher 
quality of life in a lot of 

342
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:15,240
these countries and surprise, a 
lot of them are run by women. 

343
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:19,840
I think like matriarchal 
societies function better like 

344
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,880
they. 
It makes more sense to center 

345
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,000
women and children for me 
personally. 

346
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,400
You know we all came from a 
woman. 

347
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,840
Like I was going to say, like 
women are a portal. 

348
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,040
We're the closest thing to the 
spiritual realm. 

349
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,840
Like no one can do what a woman 
can do. 

350
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,680
And we're sustaining this whole 
population, you know, like we're

351
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:43,600
sustaining everyone. 
I don't understand hating a 

352
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,160
woman because we all came from 
1:00. 

353
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,440
We all came from 1:00. 
But a lot of women hate other 

354
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,800
women. 
And it's, it's so heartbreaking 

355
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,520
to see because I think like a 
lot of us were raised to have a 

356
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,720
certain mindset, you know, And I
think even me for like a big 

357
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,000
part of my life, I was not the 
best girls girl, you know, I 

358
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,760
definitely viewed women as 
competition. 

359
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,440
And it wasn't even something 
that I was like actively doing. 

360
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,720
It was like very unconscious, 
you know, But I really, like, 

361
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,040
just sat with that 
uncomfortability and was like, 

362
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,400
why am I feeling this way? 
Why am I viewing? 

363
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,400
And it's not just women. 
I viewed men as competition, but

364
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,560
it's mostly women that I feel 
like I've caught myself viewing 

365
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,200
as competition, comparing 
myself. 

366
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,560
And ultimately, at the end of 
the day, what I learned was 

367
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,040
there's always gonna be someone 
that could be more 

368
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,280
conventionally attractive than 
you. 

369
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,840
There's always going to be 
someone that has more followers 

370
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:34,920
than you. 
There's always going to be 

371
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,960
someone who maybe is doing 
better than you in one area or 

372
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,960
another, but there's always 
someone who may be doing worse 

373
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,680
and like it. 
There's no point in measuring 

374
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,200
your success by other people, by
what other people are doing. 

375
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,280
That's not going to get you 
anywhere. 

376
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,920
You just have to think everyday,
am I taking a step in a 

377
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,120
direction that's bettering me in
my life? 

378
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,000
Am I becoming a better version 
of myself today? 

379
00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:59,960
That's all you have to worry 
about. 

380
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,200
You won't have to worry about 
whether you're doing better than

381
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,880
Sally. 
You don't have to worry. 

382
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,640
You know what I'm like? 
It doesn't. 

383
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,960
It doesn't fucking matter. 
And at the end of the day, you 

384
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,760
have no idea what that woman's 
going through. 

385
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,600
You can think that they're more 
successful than you. 

386
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,520
You have no idea what they're 
struggling with. 

387
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,960
You have no idea what their 
day-to-day life is like. 

388
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:20,360
You have no fucking idea. 
There's so many rich people that

389
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,720
have huge mental health 
problems, huge mental health 

390
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,600
problems that. 
Was, you know, like you never 

391
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,560
know. 
You have no idea. 

392
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,560
Going through no idea. 
You don't know these people. 

393
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,520
You're seeing what they want you
to see on social media. 

394
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,520
You know they're not posting 
their bad moments. 

395
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:41,000
Do you do mediumship? 
Is that something that you're? 

396
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,880
Are you also a medium? 
I do yes. 

397
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,160
I talked to, I've been, I talked
to spirits when I was like a kid

398
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,400
and I didn't even know like what
I was doing. 

399
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,680
But like my grandma passed away 
when I was 3 and my parents 

400
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,600
would come in my room all the 
time and they'd be like, who are

401
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,760
you talking to? 
And I'm like grandma, I'm like 

402
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,440
having full on conversations. 
I'd write her letters and like, 

403
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,920
I'd put them in balloons and 
send them up to heaven because I

404
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,240
grew up in a Christian 
household. 

405
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,840
So like when I was 3, obviously 
I thought that was just like how

406
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,080
the world worked. 
So I would like send her 

407
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,760
messages up, but I was always 
talking to her. 

408
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,320
And then as like a teenager, I 
would like talk to, I would use 

409
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,880
a candle actually to talk to 
spirits. 

410
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,840
And then one flicker would be 
yes, two flickers would be no. 

411
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,800
And I would ask yes or no 
questions. 

412
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,560
Like I didn't even realize what 
I was really doing. 

413
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,440
I wasn't really even like 
spiritual at that point in my 

414
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,680
life. 
I was pretty agnostic, but like,

415
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,120
I've always kind of talked to 
spirits. 

416
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,520
And then when I found 
spirituality, I was like, oh, 

417
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,840
OK, this is like an actual thing
that people do. 

418
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,640
Cool. 
And kind of like open myself up 

419
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,000
to it a bit and yeah, I talk to 
spirits. 

420
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:52,080
I. 
My experience is very similar to

421
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,480
yours. 
Like when I was a kid, I just 

422
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,080
thought that I was weird. 
I would always be making like 

423
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,880
potions and spells. 
I would do spells as a kid. 

424
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,240
I was constantly in like my 
fairy era. 

425
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,720
Like, I didn't realize that 
that's who I was outside working

426
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,960
with was like with the fairies 
in the fae realm. 

427
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,880
But OK. 
I absolutely love how almost 

428
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,760
every medium or psychic that 
I've come across is like, oh, 

429
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,600
yeah, I was, I was when I was a 
kid, I already knew because when

430
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,920
I was a kid, we would do seances
around candles and like pray and

431
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,360
we would like, you know, like 
the craft. 

432
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:25,000
We would do like the light as a 
feather stuff as a board thing. 

433
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,880
We would do seances. 
My friend had a Ouija board. 

434
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,280
Like we would do a lot of stuff.
And I remember like, I think I 

435
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,920
blocked it out, but something 
happened with the Ouija board 

436
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,120
that scared me. 
And I was like, oh, I can't have

437
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:37,400
those. 
I can't be around those. 

438
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,200
And then now I have like a full 
of them. 

439
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,720
I have like 10 of them. 
But like back then I was just 

440
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,120
like so scared of it. 
And I really do think that with 

441
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:49,160
like new age spirituality and 
people coming into their own 

442
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:53,440
authentic power, it has really 
empowered so many people like 

443
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,920
you said earlier, like baby, 
which is people who want to 

444
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,280
explore, they're feeling more 
comfortable in like coming out. 

445
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,760
And like one of my friends wrote
me earlier and she's a big 

446
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,000
TikTok creator that works around
conspiracy theories. 

447
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,480
And she texted me earlier and 
she said I'm in my witchy era 

448
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,000
and sent me this like book she 
bought because I told her I was 

449
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,360
like, you're a fucking witch. 
I don't know if you know this, 

450
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,680
but like the way you connect 
with spirit is unique to you 

451
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,560
because she's doing it in a way 
that connects to the mainstream.

452
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,920
You know, because everybody in 
the spiritual realm, like can 

453
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,240
see through Hollywood. 
Like I'm sorry, like once you've

454
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,320
reached a certain level of 
awareness, your third eye, like 

455
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,920
you can see, like you said, just
cuz they have money and they're 

456
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,040
showing you this. 
I can see the pain in their 

457
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:41,840
eyes, or I can see that they 
are, you know, not not happy. 

458
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:47,000
Right near LA and all I'll say 
is there's a lot more people 

459
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,320
doing witchcraft than I think 
people realize. 

460
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,400
And a lot of the people who are 
successful, they don't talk 

461
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,880
about it because we get shamed 
if we talk about doing 

462
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,360
witchcraft. 
But there is a lot of people who

463
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,880
practice, but they keep it very 
secret. 

464
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,520
They keep it very, very secret. 
But there's some of your 

465
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,280
favorite celebrities have 
probably done some witchy shit 

466
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,640
at some point in their life, and
that's all. 

467
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:16,720
That's all I'll say because I'm 
not going to expose LA, but 

468
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,640
yeah. 
Like with music being a ritual, 

469
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,440
you know, like when you go to a 
concert and everyone's singing 

470
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,320
the same song, it's a fucking 
ritual. 

471
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,680
It's a spell. 
And I honestly do believe that's

472
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,480
how Taylor Swift got where the 
fuck she is because of the way 

473
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:36,080
that she is so enchanting. 
Like enchanting with what she 

474
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,840
says and how she says it. 
That girl is a witch. 

475
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:43,200
And I know I'm sure you've seen 
the girl from the Satanic church

476
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,200
that looks just like her. 
Have you ever seen that? 

477
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,320
Oh no. 
How to look it up? 

478
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:52,320
The daughter of the person who 
founded the Satanic church is 

479
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,480
identical and I don't mean like 
just a little bit. 

480
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:00,040
I'm talking like copy paste 
Taylor's eyebrows, cheekbones, 

481
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,200
everything. 
And so they say that she 

482
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:07,000
reincarnated or she, you know, 
transferred her spirit or 

483
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,720
however, I don't know, I don't 
know how it works. 

484
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:08,880
I. 
Mean. 

485
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,320
She asked over and then. 
And then Taylor came to. 

486
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:15,320
OK, interesting. 
Yeah, I haven't heard that 

487
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,640
before. 
I'm like really deep into like 

488
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,280
conspiracies, not because I like
go down the rabbit hole and like

489
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,360
get really worked up over it, 
but I'm really good at picking 

490
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:27,040
up on patterns. 
Like, you know, he talked about 

491
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,320
like previously on other 
episodes, like Marilyn Monroe 

492
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,800
was kind of like the blueprint, 
but they got rid of her. 

493
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,920
You know, like there's different
things in history. 

494
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,800
If you look around people that 
don't play the game, all of a 

495
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:43,040
sudden you're mysteriously plane
crash or like mysteriously over 

496
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,760
here and like it's just, it's 
crazy how like you said, so many

497
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,520
people are using witchcraft and 
so many people are doing 

498
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,760
rituals, even like beauty 
rituals that they don't realize 

499
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,320
is a ritual or they don't 
realize is glamour magic. 

500
00:25:55,760 --> 00:26:00,400
Yeah, yeah. 
I mean, witchcraft is just a 

501
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,040
manipulation of energy. 
It doesn't mean you're sitting 

502
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,280
around with a pentacle on a 
bunch of candles. 

503
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:09,760
Like they're, there's so many 
even just blowing out a birthday

504
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,120
candle and making a wish that's 
technically witchcraft. 

505
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,760
Like that literally falls under 
the umbrella of witchcraft. 

506
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,840
Blowing a dandelion that's comes
from witchcraft. 

507
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:24,760
Like that's literally Alexa 
stop, sorry. 

508
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,120
Yeah, no, what you said, I 
recently got a book on the fairy

509
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:33,720
like the fae, and it was talking
about a dandelion is in 

510
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,160
connection with them and how 
that's like an earth spirit and 

511
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,880
that you should ask the 
dandelion if you can pick it 

512
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,960
before you pick it. 
And I was like, oh, OK. 

513
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,560
And they're like, don't pick it 
from the root. 

514
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,440
Like there was all these like, 
rules. 

515
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,440
But you know, there's so many 
things in our reality that were 

516
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,840
here to help us that have been 
hidden from us. 

517
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,440
So what's something that has 
been like revealed to you 

518
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,360
through spirituality that you 
never saw before? 

519
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:05,040
Well, for one thing, herbalism, 
like Speaking of dandelions, 

520
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,160
it's great for your health. 
You can pick the dandelions 

521
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,400
we're told to like hate these 
weeds, get rid of them. 

522
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,760
They're actually so good for 
your physical health. 

523
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,520
They're so good for your heart. 
They're so good for your skin. 

524
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,280
You can take it and you can make
like a body butter and it's 

525
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,800
really good for you. 
It actually like benefits you. 

526
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:28,520
It has physical benefits to it, 
you know, and it's also just 

527
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:33,320
like, I think witchcraft. 
For me, it was just re grabbing 

528
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,600
my power, not as just like an 
individual, but also just as a 

529
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:41,080
woman, because I feel like for a
long period of my life, I didn't

530
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,120
feel like I was powerful. 
I didn't feel like I was in 

531
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,640
control. 
I felt like things, bad things 

532
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,160
just happened to me. 
And that's just my life and it's

533
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:52,400
out of my control, you know, And
that wasn't necessarily the 

534
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,520
reality. 
There is stuff that I, it was my

535
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,720
mindset was definitely part of 
it, but my mindset was leading 

536
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,640
to like me making toxic life 
decisions that were also leading

537
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:05,280
me down a lot of these paths. 
And just like learning how to 

538
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,000
like deconstruct that a bit, it 
was like a huge game changer for

539
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,080
me. 
I started off with like 

540
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,560
manifestation. 
That's what I started off with 

541
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:18,880
was like manifestation tarot. 
And I started with money magic 

542
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,080
and I'm really good at money 
magic. 

543
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,720
My money magic comes to me 
really, really fast, really, 

544
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,600
really easy. 
That was like the first kind of 

545
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,400
witchcraft I learned. 
But really, just, like, 

546
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,440
manifesting was like a huge game
changer for me. 

547
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,400
And like, everyone in my life 
noticed like a complete 180. 

548
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,240
Everyone around me was like, 
there's something just different

549
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,160
about your energy. 
Like people who aren't even 

550
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,800
spiritual were like, no, you've 
changed. 

551
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,400
Like, I can tell. 
Like there's a certain vibe that

552
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:51,000
you're kind of giving off now. 
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, like 

553
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,440
I've been doing some 
manifestation and they're like, 

554
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,840
oh, I don't know about any of 
that woo woo shit. 

555
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,880
But then, you know, a month 
later they're like, hey, so how 

556
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,240
are you achieving this? 
How are you achieving this? 

557
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,760
And I'm like, OK, do you want to
learn my woo woo shit now? 

558
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,280
Like I used manifestations in 
order to like, completely cut 

559
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,880
out recreational drugs and 
alcohol from my life. 

560
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,560
Like, I envisioned a place in my
world where I didn't need to 

561
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,040
numb things out, where I didn't 
need to run from things, where I

562
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,160
wasn't afraid of my shadows or 
my demons. 

563
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,840
And really working with like 
plant medicine, which I guess 

564
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:29,080
would fall into herbalism, it 
really did help me snap out of 

565
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:33,400
like the numbing energy that I 
was in. 

566
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,280
I really do think I've found a 
theme of like a lot of spiritual

567
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,120
people either go down a really 
toxic relationship path or a 

568
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:43,200
toxic substance abuse path, or 
they're in a toxic religion 

569
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,640
path, or, you know, like there's
so many different paths that 

570
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,680
lead us back to our power, lead 
us back to our self. 

571
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,840
And I really do think it's such 
a beautiful thing to watch 

572
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,080
people like yourself teach 
others about it because there 

573
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,040
are so many gatekeepers. 
And it drives me crazy because 

574
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,520
spirit, my guides are always 
telling me like if you have 

575
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,440
something, share it with the 
world. 

576
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,360
Don't hold on to it. 
You will be rewarded for it. 

577
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,440
Release it out into the world. 
Like even if someone takes your 

578
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,240
idea and makes a movie out of 
it, like it, it doesn't matter. 

579
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,240
Like just share the information.
It'll go where it needs to go. 

580
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,480
And that has been a game changer
for me because it helped me 

581
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,560
Start Stop seeing competition 
everywhere. 

582
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,920
And that's like with the podcast
now being a solo project, I'm 

583
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,200
able to collaborate with people 
like yourself and other amazing 

584
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,920
creators that have so much to 
share with me and in the 

585
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:34,720
audience and just really the 
world. 

586
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,680
So, you know, I'm very, very 
grateful to like, just have some

587
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,800
of your time and like appreciate
you with your money Rituals. 

588
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,840
Do you do rituals for yourself? 
Like on the 1st of the month, do

589
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,680
you do like the cinnamon and the
money bowl or is that something 

590
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,960
of the past? 
For you, I used to. 

591
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:56,640
Now I just kind of, I think I've
done so much money magic to the 

592
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,560
point where now I just kind of 
have to maintain stuff. 

593
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:04,160
We do have a money bowl that we 
add to, but really I just 

594
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,560
manifested and I just do, I do 
like I just do personal spell 

595
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,000
work for myself, but I don't 
really necessarily do it during 

596
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,280
like a certain time or a day. 
I used to have like a level of 

597
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,440
rigidity, but now I just kind of
do when I feel called to do kind

598
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,480
of certain things, if that kind 
of makes sense. 

599
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,240
So yeah, I used 'cause I used to
be really strict about it. 

600
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,840
We're like every Thursday I 
would do money magic. 

601
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,080
Every Friday I would do love 
magic every this day I would do 

602
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,400
this. 
And like, I still do try to, 

603
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,880
like sometimes it just happens 
to fall on that day, but I just 

604
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,720
go based off of like my energy 
where I'm at in the day, you 

605
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,920
know, 'cause there's some days 
where like I do wake up and I'm 

606
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,960
just feeling really negative. 
And I'm like, you know, I don't 

607
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,440
need to do witchcraft today. 
I don't need to do witchcraft 

608
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:51,480
today. 
I don't need to do anything 

609
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,640
spiritual. 
I need to, I need to, you know, 

610
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,880
maybe sleep in or I need to 
maybe just like go outside and 

611
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:02,880
go to the beach or I just need 
to go do this or do that, you 

612
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,360
know, to take care of my mental 
health. 

613
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,920
So that's kind of how I've 
navigated it a bit just because 

614
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,120
I do have like a lot of I have 
like BPD. 

615
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:18,520
So some days I wake up and I 
just, I'm not in a mood magic 

616
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,640
and I'm like, no, I'm in too 
much of a negative headspace. 

617
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,280
I need to like focus on 
grounding today. 

618
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,680
I need to focus on just like 
getting myself into a calm or 

619
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:31,360
better state, you know? 
So I kind of just like I've kind

620
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,280
of found like a flow a little 
bit and I kind of just go along 

621
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,560
with my own flow instead of 
forcing it and kind of just 

622
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,280
doing what I feel called to 
every day, if that kind of makes

623
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:41,760
sense. 
I love that. 

624
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:46,840
I love that so much because I 
have known people that went full

625
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,120
time into their business, into 
their spiritual business and 

626
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,600
they got burned out, which is 
why like I've continued to keep 

627
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,000
my day job, which is like my 
career. 

628
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,040
I've done it for 10 years. 
Like I'm really good at it. 

629
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,160
So like I didn't ever plan on 
leaving that. 

630
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,200
Like Spirit used to tell me that
I needed to prepare because 

631
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,680
there were big changes. 
But the whole time I realized 

632
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,520
that that change was within 
myself, not necessarily my 

633
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,040
environment or what I was doing.
I was within myself. 

634
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,480
And so it's funny because I used
to get anxious like, Oh my gosh,

635
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,440
like one day I'm going to have 
to choose. 

636
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,160
But then like, I was in a deep 
meditative state earlier in this

637
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,280
year and I was just really on a 
healing journey and I was in 

638
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,040
silence. 
It was winter and Spirit came to

639
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,160
me. 
And they were like, now your 

640
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:33,120
decision to take a step back 
from your business won't stress 

641
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,280
you out. 
And I was able to take like 3 

642
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:39,160
months off of like public 
content or just like bookings 

643
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,400
from my website. 
Like, I still had my Patreon in 

644
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,640
my private clients, but it was 
like no new energy. 

645
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,640
And there was something so 
sacred about that reset that I 

646
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:52,720
really realized that that 
workaholic tendency that I have 

647
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:57,160
as a Taurus who's very grounded 
and earth centered on material 

648
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:01,200
and foundation and success. 
And I was like, wait, this isn't

649
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,760
doesn't sound fun anymore. 
Like I'm not having fun doing 

650
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,800
witchcraft. 
I'm not having fun doing spells 

651
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,880
for other people. 
I'm not even doing things for 

652
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,280
myself anymore. 
And I really felt like I lost 

653
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,440
myself and like the giving, 
giving, giving motion. 

654
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,480
So I took a step back and I 
raised my prices. 

655
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,800
And now I feel so much centered 
and grounded. 

656
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,920
It's just like, oh, OK, look, 
that's what I needed. 

657
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,880
You know, I just needed to take 
a step back. 

658
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:25,440
I kind of went through that too,
where I was getting to a point 

659
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,960
where I was like, this is not 
fun anymore. 

660
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:32,760
I'm, I'm prioritizing my clients
to the point where like, I'm not

661
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,719
even prioritizing myself. 
You know, I'm not even doing 

662
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,239
witchcraft for myself. 
And I, I really just had to like

663
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,080
it got to a point where I just 
had a breakdown and then I was 

664
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,800
like, OK, this is not healthy. 
Like it's better for me to take 

665
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,320
a day off then like keep 
working, working, working to the

666
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,560
point where now I have to take a
month off of work, you know, 

667
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:54,360
instead of just finding some 
balance and just taking some 

668
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,760
days off. 
And you know, any clients that 

669
00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,600
have freaked out about that 
refund, you're not the right 

670
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,880
client for me. 
You're this isn't a good fit. 

671
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,760
You know, ultimately, at the end
of the day, I'm not going to 

672
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,640
like sacrifice, but I used to, I
really used to. 

673
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,000
But I'm not going to sacrifice 
myself for like a sale or for a 

674
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,520
client because I don't need to. 
I don't need to, you know? 

675
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,920
You first get into a business. 
You're just like, wow, someone 

676
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,720
wants to pay me for this. 
OK, OK. 

677
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,280
And then like it keeps getting 
more. 

678
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:27,680
And then I would have clients 
who would book a reading and 

679
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,520
think that that meant that they 
got like a follow up call every 

680
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:35,040
30 days to like talk about it. 
And I mean, it was so bad that I

681
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,680
had to like delete messenger and
like delete certain apps for a 

682
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:42,600
while because it felt like I was
constantly being bombarded with 

683
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,440
questions. 
But now when people that I'm 

684
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,200
cool with are friends with are 
like, hey, how much would you 

685
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,720
charge for this? 
I'm like, I'll just tell you how

686
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:50,880
to do it. 
I'm not just going to tell you 

687
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,480
how to do it because like I 
don't even right now, like I'll 

688
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,600
just tell you how to do it and 
it's nothing personal. 

689
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,800
It's just like you can do the 
spell or I could do the spell, 

690
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,720
but I think that you're so 
passionate about it. 

691
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:04,360
Like you're the one ready to let
this person go or you're the one

692
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,520
ready to move forward. 
You should do it. 

693
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,360
Like that's where I think I've 
turned a new leaf of, like you 

694
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,320
said, like there's enough 
clients for everyone, There's 

695
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,840
enough energy, there's enough 
people interested and I don't 

696
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:20,280
need to drain my well or my 
reservoir to constantly pour 

697
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:21,560
out. 
Like, that was the whole reason 

698
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:25,560
I started this journey in the 
beginning was to reclaim myself.

699
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,000
So it's easy to get lost when 
people are like, oh, yeah, I 

700
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,320
want to give you money. 
And you're like, Oh my gosh, you

701
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,920
want to pay me? 
And it just snowballs, you know?

702
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,520
Yes, definitely. 
I, I appreciate, I love all of 

703
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,800
my clients and I do have most of
my clients I do talk to like 

704
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,640
every day. 
I answer my DMS within like 24 

705
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,800
hours of them reaching out and 
stuff like that. 

706
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,880
But it's not like a drain for me
personally cuz I, I like talking

707
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,040
to people. 
I really, I really don't mind 

708
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,400
and like a lot of these people 
are most people who are coming 

709
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,480
to a witch are not in a good 
place. 

710
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,040
Most people are not coming 
because everything's going well 

711
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,280
in their life. 
They're going through something 

712
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,000
that they need help with that 
they're really struggling with. 

713
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,080
And it's something that I likely
have struggled with or can like 

714
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,680
at least understand to a certain
extent. 

715
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,880
So I don't really, I don't mind.
I let my I'm a pretty open book.

716
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:20,120
I let my clients like come to 
me, but I am like, I do have 

717
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,400
clients who are like, I need my 
Rd. opener done today and I'm 

718
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,400
like, well, I'm not doing it 
today. 

719
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,160
I'm sorry you're going to have 
to wait a few days because I'm 

720
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:29,800
not in the mindset to do it 
today. 

721
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,880
Because I'm like, if I do your 
spell work today, I'm going to 

722
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:34,680
botch it. 
It's not, I'm not going to be in

723
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,800
the right energy. 
So I'm like, it would be better.

724
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:40,640
Like I, I personally, if you're 
going to buy services from like 

725
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:44,000
a spiritual practitioner, I 
wouldn't recommend rushing them 

726
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,760
because even if you do get your 
spell done quicker, you might 

727
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,480
get it done while they're not in
the right headspace, you know? 

728
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:55,160
So at that point, if you need 
spell work done faster than what

729
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,440
I can give you, you need to 
either expedite with me or you 

730
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,440
just need to find another 
practitioner that has a smaller 

731
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,400
client load. 
You just need to find someone 

732
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:05,840
else. 
And that's kind of what I tell 

733
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,960
them where I'm like, maybe this 
isn't the best fit for you 

734
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,360
because this is how I run my 
business. 

735
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:15,000
You know, I have my wait times 
listed on there on my website 

736
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,200
when you book it. 
If you're not OK with my wait 

737
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:20,000
times, find someone else. 
I'm OK with you going and 

738
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,040
finding someone else. 
I'm like, I, I know plenty of 

739
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,600
practitioners I can recommend to
you that have smaller client 

740
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,200
loads. 
You know, I don't mind telling 

741
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:31,360
my clients go somewhere else if 
needed because it's their at the

742
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:32,640
end of the day, it's their 
journey. 

743
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,920
It's their journey. 
And I'm not going to tell them 

744
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:39,440
if you need a road opener done 
today, OK, I respect that that's

745
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,520
your journey. 
But I might not be able to 

746
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,600
accommodate that. 
And that's OK too. 

747
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,120
You know, not everyone a good 
fit for you. 

748
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,600
Not everyone is like a good 
client for you. 

749
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:53,400
And I think it's like important 
to like, have your boundaries, 

750
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:58,120
you know, and the right people 
will find you and the wrong 

751
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,640
people will find people who are 
right for them. 

752
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,640
Because you. 
Might not be a good fit for 

753
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,520
them. 
And energetically, I have pretty

754
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,560
much set up like a ward that 
like if someone's coming into my

755
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,880
space, they have to meet all 
these criterias. 

756
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:16,400
Like I don't want someone coming
to me with their last 50 to $100

757
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:20,160
thinking that I'm going to be 
able to do all of this by the 

758
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,800
1st so they can pay rent. 
You know, like I would much 

759
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,960
rather you take that $50, put 
some gas in your car and go 

760
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:30,280
DoorDash. 
Please, you know, like make an 

761
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,440
initiative here. 
Don't spend your last fifty with

762
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,880
me. 
I feel like really try to help 

763
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:39,400
everyone or be accommodating for
everyone or have a level 

764
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,520
available for everyone's budget.
And that was something that was 

765
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:46,360
really draining me. 
And I think that, like you said,

766
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:51,040
when people are booking, not 
rushing the practitioner is so 

767
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:55,800
important because my delivery 
time used to be 72 hours on any 

768
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,520
spiritual service like spell 
work or greetings. 

769
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,760
And, and I'm like, who the fuck 
are you working for? 

770
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,840
Like you can make this two 
weeks. 

771
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,880
Like who says it's got to be 72 
hours? 

772
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,640
Like I just saw where my people 
pleasing and like my Venusian, 

773
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,960
like Libra moon was like, please
help, please stay. 

774
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,320
I love you. 
I want to help you. 

775
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,000
You know, it was just like I was
giving way too much and like 

776
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,680
trying to be way too 
accommodating. 

777
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,640
And and like, of course, like I 
talk to most of my clients and 

778
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,520
texts, like most people they've 
been in my life for years on 

779
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,560
end, but it's like the one offs 
that come in with us, like I 

780
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,560
said. 
Their last $50.00 for their name

781
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:34,000
and think you're gonna be able 
to like work 20 miracles for 

782
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,200
them in the next 72 hours and 
it's like. 

783
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,240
I'm like, look, good luck, good 
luck, good luck about. 

784
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,560
That if you're. 
At that point in your life, I 

785
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,360
think you just need to learn 
witchcraft yourself at that 

786
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,600
point. 
At that point, I think this is a

787
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,080
sign that maybe you just need to
to work to do it yourself. 

788
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,680
Because if you're going into 
that mindset, you're probably 

789
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,840
just going to get scammed. 
Honestly, someone's just going 

790
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,080
to take the $50 from you and 
they're going to give you empty 

791
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,320
promises because most 
practitioners that are actually 

792
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,000
legit are going to tell you 
they're going to be realistic 

793
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:10,520
with you, and they're going to 
tell you $50 is not going to get

794
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,480
you 20 different spells. 
Someone who's giving you 20 

795
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,640
different spells for $50, 
they're probably not doing your 

796
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,840
spell work. 
They're probably not doing your 

797
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,600
spell work. 
Because at that point, if they 

798
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,400
are, they're losing money. 
They're losing money, you know, 

799
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:29,640
So, But yeah, I always, I have a
free giveaway. 

800
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,520
So I always tell people I'm 
like, you can enter the free 

801
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,480
giveaway. 
We do free winners every month. 

802
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,560
So if you can't afford my 
services, I understand. 

803
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:42,240
But we do offer payment plans 
and you know, you can join the 

804
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:44,680
free giveaway if needed. 
And if it's really meant for 

805
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,160
you, then we, we randomly pick 
the people. 

806
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:52,000
We randomly pick a number 
through one through 100, for 

807
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,560
example, if there's one through 
100 people that sign up for the 

808
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:59,040
giveaway, we pick numbers 
through that pretty randomly to 

809
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,600
just like what we feel called 
to, if that kind of makes sense.

810
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:07,160
And those clients are always so 
aligned to it's so funny. 

811
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,840
Those clients are like, I was 
like, I'll be like 86 and I'll 

812
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,640
look up the client's name. 
I'll be like, Oh, that was the 

813
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:16,520
exact person I really wanted to 
win and there and that's it. 

814
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,720
And then their spell work, it 
always like lands like that. 

815
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,920
So I'm like, it was so perfect 
and so like meant to be where 

816
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,800
like they really truly did need 
my help and they couldn't afford

817
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,360
my services and it still worked 
out for them and it makes it 

818
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:31,440
does make me really happy. 
I do like do free services where

819
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:36,600
I feel called to, you know, but 
but for a while I think I felt 

820
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:40,800
bad even charging at all. 
I used to have my prices so, so 

821
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,360
low. 
I used to do tarot readings for 

822
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,280
literally $5, love spells for 
$20. 

823
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:50,080
Like just because I felt so bad 
and guilty about charging 

824
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,960
people. 
And I kind of just was like, 

825
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:57,960
this is not fair to me. 
Like I'm overextending myself to

826
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:02,680
the point where I, I'm not able 
to like, help them out of people

827
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,040
that I would be able to help if 
I like actually just adequately 

828
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:10,080
priced myself, you know? 
And that was kind of what I 

829
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,840
realized too, because I get a 
lot of people that are like, 

830
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,240
well, if you love it so much, 
why don't you do it for free? 

831
00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:16,920
Pastors don't charge. 
And I'm like, OK, but pastors 

832
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,360
have a salary they don't pay. 
Taxes they. 

833
00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:23,200
Don't pay taxes. 
Pastors are still getting paid 

834
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:27,080
and like I did for a long time, 
do witchcraft for people for 

835
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,520
free. 
But I realized that if I charge,

836
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,640
I can actually help a lot more 
people because I can make it my 

837
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,640
full time job. 
My full time priority now is 

838
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,400
helping people. 
And I wouldn't be able to do 

839
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,720
that if I was. 
I couldn't do that for free. 

840
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,760
I wouldn't be able to help this 
many people on this large of a 

841
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,800
scale if I was doing all of that
for free or for next to nothing,

842
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,760
you know? 
What pisses me off about people 

843
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,760
looking at the spiritual 
practitioners, healers, which is

844
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,880
whoever and thinking that just 
because it's a gift that they 

845
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:03,520
possess that it should be shared
freely to like everyone because 

846
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,960
I also like the first year I 
established my LLC, which was in

847
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,240
2021. 
I did free readings for a whole 

848
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,440
year. 
Spirit told me they were like, 

849
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:16,280
look, if you do this, we will, 
we will show you the light. 

850
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:17,880
And I was like, OK, bet. 
I was like, I'm just going to 

851
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:19,400
set up the website. 
I'm going to invest money. 

852
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,640
I'm going to do it. 
So if you wanted a book, it was 

853
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:26,680
like a 30 minute free video chat
reading and people would book 

854
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,920
them and I would plan my day 
around it and then they would 

855
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,360
ghost. 
They wouldn't show, not always, 

856
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,280
but a lot like 50 or 50% of the 
time, people would just cancel 

857
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,880
last minute, get scared, not 
show up, whatever. 

858
00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:43,040
So then whenever I introduced 
pricing and started doing that, 

859
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:46,880
I instantly got an offer to come
on to the Dumb Blonde podcast, 

860
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,600
which is a massive, probably one
of the biggest podcasts now. 

861
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,160
So cool. 
I've been on there twice. 

862
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,960
So I am actually Bunny's 
resident psychic and so I do a 

863
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,640
lot of stuff for her and her 
team. 

864
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,120
But this was like years ago, 
like this way before they were 

865
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,640
really, really big. 
And at that time that was like 

866
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,320
the door, like spirit was like, 
okay, look, you did the work. 

867
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:09,200
You showed us that you would 
make sacrifices, that you would 

868
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,000
do this. 
And then as soon as that year 

869
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,440
was up, somehow I got connected 
with Bunny and she was just 

870
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,440
like, come to Nashville 
tomorrow. 

871
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,640
I want to meet you and we're 
going to do it a podcast. 

872
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,360
And I was like, because I've 
been close to Nashville, like 3 

873
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:22,600
hours away. 
So I was like what? 

874
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,480
I was like she sent me the 
address. 

875
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,040
She was like, here's my managers
name and and contact. 

876
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:31,000
So Long story short, like that 
opened the floodgates of people.

877
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,880
Like you can imagine going on a 
platform like that, like people 

878
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,600
were rushing in and I was doing 
the same thing you were doing, 

879
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:41,640
doing readings for five and $10,
doing spells for 30 or $33 or 

880
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,560
whatever, right? 
I just was really just blessed 

881
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,120
that people wanted to book with 
me because in the past I was 

882
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,640
doing it for free. 
So I was just like, wow, you 

883
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:51,760
want to give me money? 
So I was like doing all these 

884
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,840
free like upgrades or flash 
readings and like it worked for 

885
00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:00,160
about 3 years until the point I 
reached a breaking point and I'm

886
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,240
like, why am I sick all the 
time? 

887
00:46:02,240 --> 00:46:06,000
Why am I drained? 
And then in February I did a 

888
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,680
Valentine's Day event in person 
and the reason I did it is 

889
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,080
because there was no booth fee 
and no percentage. 

890
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,480
So if I went to this event I 
could basically just run the 

891
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,000
check all day and keep all the 
money. 

892
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,920
So I was like cool. 
When I do in person events 

893
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,400
though, I always feel weird 
about charging people more than 

894
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,000
like $30.00. 
I don't know why it because I'll

895
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,600
straight charge you $100 on the 
Internet all day. 

896
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,280
But in person I don't know, I 
just I get weird about it. 

897
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:34,120
So I did like 25 or $30 
readings. 

898
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:37,760
I think I did 20 of them. 
Girl I flew for like 7 days. 

899
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:41,960
I had never been so sick after 
that and it was because I chose 

900
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,280
to go make a quick little 
$400.00 when I could have just 

901
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:48,760
said at home, booked 3 readings 
and said I did 20, you know what

902
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,120
I mean? 
For the same amount of money. 

903
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,760
And I really do just want to 
help people. 

904
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,240
It's never been about the money,
which is why I have a whole last

905
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:58,920
day job so I don't have to 
depend on my gifts or my clients

906
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,440
for my full income, right? 
And like, it was just such a 

907
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,000
hard pill to swallow that like, 
even if you want to help 

908
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,880
everyone, you can't. 
No, you can't. 

909
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,080
And that's it's hard. 
I think that's like your people 

910
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,240
pleasing tendency. 
You know, I don't want to speak 

911
00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:17,000
for you, but I'm like, I think 
the in person events it's more 

912
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,680
difficult, you know, because 
it's it's it's easier, I feel 

913
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:24,040
like to say no over a screen 
than like when you're face to 

914
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:27,080
face with someone. 
It's very, very difficult to be 

915
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:31,480
like no and set boundaries. 
Like it's, it's already very 

916
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,840
difficult for people pleasing 
with setting boundaries in 

917
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,280
general, but especially like 
face to face. 

918
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:42,240
It's like, oh God, okay, you 
know, I'm so sorry here, Levy. 

919
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,160
And you just, but you have to 
get out of that mindset because 

920
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:46,840
otherwise you're going to be 
everyone's doormat. 

921
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:52,680
Everyone doormat, it's not going
to benefit them. 

922
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,600
It's not going to benefit you. 
I realized for the longest time 

923
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,880
my people pleasing tendencies, 
we're actually enabling people 

924
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,840
and we're actually like keeping 
them complacent and incredibly 

925
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,320
toxic habits and they're 
treating me like shit. 

926
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,840
It's hurting me, but they're 
also not growing. 

927
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:10,360
So it's not benefiting anyone. 
It doesn't be people pleasing 

928
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,880
ultimately. 
Like long term does not benefit 

929
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,280
anyone. 
Yeah. 

930
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,760
And like, earlier in the year is
when I realized that. 

931
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:20,320
And that is literally when 
multiple people, business 

932
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,360
partners, friends, family, just 
like exited my life. 

933
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:27,360
Like the moment I was just like,
wait, why am I letting you 

934
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,800
benefit from me doing all the 
work? 

935
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,280
Why am I letting you ride my 
way? 

936
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,120
You know what I mean? 
Like, why am I giving you the 

937
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:35,640
torch when I'm doing all the 
work? 

938
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,880
And so yeah, that's something 
that I've learned because so 

939
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:42,000
many people will stick around 
waiting for their free handout, 

940
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,840
but they don't support you and 
they're not growing on their 

941
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,880
own. 
And that is such a tough pill to

942
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,640
swallow because I really am such
like a lover girl. 

943
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:53,240
Like I just want everyone to 
like be in harmony and like, I, 

944
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:57,440
I totally feel like like in 
Atlantis or wherever the fuck I 

945
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,080
was, we didn't live like this. 
Like we didn't live in 

946
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,960
competition. 
We didn't live in fear. 

947
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,520
We didn't live in all this. 
So it's like coming back here 

948
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,080
and I'm like, wait, what do you 
mean everyone hates each other? 

949
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,120
What? 
What do you mean? 

950
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,560
Like it's so disheartening. 
Right. 

951
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:17,200
Yeah, it is, It is. 
I lost I, I had like a 12 house 

952
00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:19,440
year last year. 
So I'm in my first house here 

953
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,000
now, but I had my 12 house here.
Do you know much about like 

954
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,520
astrology? 
Hey, yeah, so I took a whole 

955
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,680
college astrology course under 
the sky named Night Light 

956
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,600
Astrology. 
So he teaches like an online 

957
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,000
it's basically a college course 
like his own program. 

958
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:39,240
But I did that in 2020 and 2021 
and I use Astro gold like the. 

959
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:45,720
I use Astro Cafe. 
Gotcha, so Astro gold is 

960
00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:48,120
something you actually pay for 
download onto your computer? 

961
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:49,200
Oh, cool. 
OK. 

962
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,360
Really cool because you can do a
progression chart on that. 

963
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,560
You can do a transit chart on 
that. 

964
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,400
Like there's so many things you 
can do. 

965
00:49:56,720 --> 00:50:02,440
But I read whole sign houses so 
I know some people do Like what 

966
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:05,400
is it like Platycus or whatever 
is the other one. 

967
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:11,200
I have AI have like a private 
astrologer who actually we work 

968
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:14,360
with them now. 
So we have our sinistry reports 

969
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:17,320
are done by our astrologer that 
does all of my personal 

970
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,360
astrology's. 
They've been doing astrology 

971
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,960
readings for I think about 15 
plus years. 

972
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:26,840
And my friend was like, get an 
astrology report and I was like,

973
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,440
what all is going to be said? 
And like the way that they can 

974
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:34,440
read me to Phil based off of my 
birth chart. 

975
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,840
I, I was blown away. 
And I'm like a very spiritually 

976
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,200
open person. 
But even then I was like, what 

977
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,960
do you mean? 
You can tell by my chart that 

978
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:45,440
like this week, I'm more likely 
to get like a cut or a bruise or

979
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:50,000
like, like the stuff that they 
picked up on and read was so 

980
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,720
crazy, so crazy. 
I was like, I didn't even know 

981
00:50:53,720 --> 00:50:55,560
you could. 
I didn't even. 

982
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:58,360
It was so accurate it it blew my
mind. 

983
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,440
It blew my mind. 
So I, I got my year ahead from 

984
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,920
them and all of it was so 
accurate. 

985
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:08,280
It was very, very and it was 
good information to know, you 

986
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,000
know, it was very good 
information to know. 

987
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,640
And so far everything that 
they've predicted with it has 

988
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:18,480
come true. 
But yeah, I had a 12 house year 

989
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,920
and that was, that was my first,
that was when I first like, that

990
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:24,680
was my first time learning about
houses and house years. 

991
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,600
So I didn't even know that was 
like a thing. 

992
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,760
I didn't know what I was 
buckling up for. 

993
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:32,440
But for those of you that are 
listening that don't know what 

994
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:36,320
12th house year is, it's the 
year of endings basically. 

995
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,040
Yeah, it's a shadow year. 
It's like it's been a. 

996
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:41,520
Year, I lost so many of my 
friends. 

997
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:43,560
I moved two different times. 
I moved. 

998
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,320
I moved from Reno to Vegas to 
California. 

999
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,760
My partner of one year passed 
away. 

1000
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:55,400
Everything that could have, 
everything that was like, not 

1001
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,680
meant in my life went away. 
Like it was like the rug got 

1002
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,680
completely pulled off from under
me. 

1003
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,000
And it was probably one of the 
roughest years I've had in a 

1004
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,040
long, long, long, long long 
time. 

1005
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:11,880
But it did open the doors for 
new opportunities. 

1006
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:16,360
My business did start like 
growing exponentially after 

1007
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,120
these people, places, things 
that weren't meant for me left 

1008
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,560
my life. 
I did like it opened. 

1009
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,360
It opened up the door for so 
many new opportunities. 

1010
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,600
My business started booming like
right after that. 

1011
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:31,160
But really it was like my 
biggest fears, my biggest things

1012
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:33,360
that I never wanted to have to 
deal with, I had to deal with 

1013
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,840
last year. 
And it was, it was rough. 

1014
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:39,920
It was really, really hard, but 
I grew from it a lot. 

1015
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,640
So it's like, I'm thankful for 
it. 

1016
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,880
And I'm, yeah, I have mixed 
feelings about it. 

1017
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,640
I'm like, it sucks that I had to
go through everything I went 

1018
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,960
through last year, but like, on 
some level I'm grateful for it 

1019
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,920
because at least I like, I'm 
like, let me try to at least get

1020
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,160
something out of this. 
Let me at least try to grow from

1021
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,280
this and learn from this, you 
know, so I get something out of 

1022
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,520
this. 
Last year was just fucking hard.

1023
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:06,880
Like I had been on a celibacy 
journey and I had sex one time 

1024
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:11,120
and I got pregnant and like 
thank God I had a miscarriage. 

1025
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,480
Thank God I love spirit, I love 
babies. 

1026
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,240
I would love to be a mom, but 
this was not the right person, 

1027
00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:18,200
not the right time, not a good 
time. 

1028
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,320
And it was literally like on 4th
of July, I just hooked up with 

1029
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,520
like my high school boyfriend. 
We had sex one time. 

1030
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:26,440
We didn't speak again for three 
weeks. 

1031
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:29,960
And for those next three weeks I
was like, I'm fucking pregnant. 

1032
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,360
I can tell. 
I know I'm pregnant. 

1033
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:33,560
I'm so scared. 
I know I'm pregnant and I'm 33 

1034
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:36,320
years old. 
So like at the time I was just 

1035
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:38,480
like you're you're, you're 
tripping and you're not 

1036
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,560
pregnant. 
I took a test before I even 

1037
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:43,200
could put it down. 
It said pregnant on it. 

1038
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,120
Like, Oh my God. 
It was immediately the black 

1039
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:49,280
line and you're like. 
It was, it was like 8 weeks of 

1040
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,400
hell. 
Because honestly, I am normally 

1041
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,200
a very positive person. 
I'm a very grounded person. 

1042
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:57,360
I'm a very just a glass half 
full person. 

1043
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,120
But something about being 
pregnant as a female in this 

1044
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,920
world and in this current state 
of things, But I was so scared. 

1045
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:07,200
I have never been so scared. 
Now I see why moms live in fear.

1046
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:10,280
Like now I see and understand 
the term of like watching your 

1047
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,600
heart walk around outside your 
body. 

1048
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:16,240
And I'm like, whoa, like 
financially secure, my 

1049
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:20,400
foundation good to go. 
My mental went fucking AWOL. 

1050
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,640
And I'm telling you, it was such
a transformational thing because

1051
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:25,920
you're sitting here and you're 
thinking about this life that's 

1052
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,840
about to happen. 
And then it kind of like the rug

1053
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:31,360
got ripped out. 
And then I was like, I sat in 

1054
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:36,360
the grief and I sat in like the 
anger, but it was more so such a

1055
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:40,080
humbling experience that really 
all it does take is one time 

1056
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,880
they were not lying about that, 
you know, like the one time 

1057
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,440
thing actually is real. 
So I was just like, wow. 

1058
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:49,400
Like, it really helped me 
activate and connect deeper to 

1059
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,400
my like, dark goddess. 
And like, the internal part of 

1060
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:56,680
me that has rage and anger and 
like is fucking pissed off at 

1061
00:54:56,680 --> 00:55:00,280
men and like wants to just 
uproot a lot of people from this

1062
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,480
earth, you know? 
Like, I really tapped into that.

1063
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:06,760
And I was like connecting with 
the Hindu goddess Durga, which 

1064
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:09,840
is like a destroyer goddess. 
And I was just really feeling 

1065
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,840
like how all these old versions 
of me were being destroyed. 

1066
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,400
And now I've been back on my 
celibacy journey for a year. 

1067
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,720
But now it's like, you really 
are going to have to like come 

1068
00:55:19,720 --> 00:55:22,080
to the goddess with an offering 
or you just don't even have 

1069
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,400
access. 
Like there's no more like half 

1070
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:28,080
in half out energy in my life. 
And I do think that it does take

1071
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:31,680
traumatic ass shit to teach you 
things that help you grow and 

1072
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,680
help you be the best version. 
And I know like when I bring up 

1073
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,360
the miscarriage, some people are
like, oh, no, I'm so sorry. 

1074
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:37,640
And I'm like, no, it was the 
best thing ever. 

1075
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:40,640
Because for one, until it 
happens to you, you don't 

1076
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:42,680
realize the depth of what could 
happen. 

1077
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,320
And it shocked me back into 
reality. 

1078
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:50,080
I can kind of understand that it
sounds horrible, but my partner 

1079
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:58,080
passing it set me free because 
he was not to, like, dig on him 

1080
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:01,720
because he's passed, but he was 
cheating on me really badly. 

1081
00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:06,800
And I didn't know until after he
passed away, you know, and he 

1082
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:11,520
was taking advantage of me Like 
he was, you know, definitely not

1083
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:15,440
a healthy person, not someone 
who is ready for a relationship.

1084
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:18,800
And I was like, very anxiously 
attached. 

1085
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:23,560
And, you know, when he passed 
away, it kind of was like, it's 

1086
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:26,000
still hard. 
I still grieve him, obviously, 

1087
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:31,240
but on some level I am like, OK,
I was set free. 

1088
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,320
It was kind of like a curse was 
being lifted a bit because like 

1089
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:36,880
my friend was like, it's 
horrible. 

1090
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:40,600
But I'm glad that you at least 
didn't get pregnant before that 

1091
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:42,840
all that happened and all that 
went down. 

1092
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,520
You know? 
I'm glad that you didn't end up 

1093
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,320
moving in with him before all 
that happened and all that went 

1094
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,640
down. 
And I think like him passing 

1095
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,760
away, that was when it really 
clicked with me where I was 

1096
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:57,200
like, this was not a healthy 
relationship. 

1097
00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:00,880
And like, what am I doing? 
Why was I, why did I tolerate 

1098
00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:03,640
this kind of like mistreatment 
from someone for so long? 

1099
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:07,160
Because I tolerated so much 
mistreatment because I loved him

1100
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,440
so deeply. 
And like, I think it really 

1101
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:12,160
clicked with me that like, you 
need more than just love to have

1102
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:13,600
a healthy relationship with 
someone. 

1103
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:15,920
You can love someone to the end 
of the earth. 

1104
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,040
And that doesn't mean that it's 
a healthy connection for you. 

1105
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,440
And I think that was like a very
hard pill for me to swallow. 

1106
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,160
It kind of slapped the lover 
girl out of me a bit. 

1107
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:27,960
I'm not gonna lie where I'm 
like, OK, now I view 

1108
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:31,480
relationships and I'm like, no, 
me just being in love with 

1109
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,920
someone is not enough for them 
to be my partner. 

1110
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:38,040
Like I, you know, does that kind
of make sense? 

1111
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:41,440
So it totally makes sense 
because, like, me and this guy, 

1112
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:44,360
we dated when we were 14. 
So something about your brain 

1113
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,200
just changes when you date 
people when you're young. 

1114
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:48,520
So, like, he was always, like, a
revolving door. 

1115
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,800
But like, at least if I didn't 
have real connection, I could 

1116
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,600
have that nostalgic connection. 
Right. 

1117
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,680
And so I get it. 
Like, that was a curse. 

1118
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:58,840
Like, having his baby would have
been a curse. 

1119
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,320
Yeah. 
Like Spirit Strike came to me 

1120
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:05,520
and was like, you broke a 
generational cycle by healing 

1121
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:08,840
from this, by not falling into 
the trap of the situation. 

1122
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:12,600
So no, I completely get it. 
Like love and attraction is what

1123
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:15,800
we're taught to focus on, but 
it's like this person is going 

1124
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:19,920
to be my emergency contact. 
Do I trust them enough for that?

1125
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,200
Like. 
You would not have been a good 

1126
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:24,880
emergency contact. 
Yeah, like, do you see those Tik

1127
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,000
Toks that float around? 
And it's like, this is my 

1128
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,520
emergency contact. 
And he's like fucking wave 

1129
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:31,880
boarding and paddle boarding and
like skydiving. 

1130
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,000
And like, it's just like he's 
doing all these crazy risky shit

1131
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,840
and they're like dot, dot dot. 
And this is my emergency 

1132
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:39,840
contact. 
Some of them are funny and some 

1133
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:42,800
of them I'm like girl. 
I'm. 

1134
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,600
Scared for you. 
Some of them I'm like, this is 

1135
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:52,040
not, you know, but women just 
give a lot of chances to men and

1136
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:53,960
we like let a lot of things 
slide. 

1137
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:56,720
And ultimately you have to 
think, would a man do that for 

1138
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,320
you? 
Probably, probably not. 

1139
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:03,160
The lengths that women will go 
to for a man that they love is 

1140
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:05,400
different than the lengths that 
most men will go for other 

1141
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:06,840
women. 
And that's. 

1142
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:11,080
Literally like I'm so 
brainwashed that when I like 

1143
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,520
support you, I fucking support 
you. 

1144
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:16,120
Like I am ready to help you. 
I'm ready to build with you. 

1145
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,520
Like I'm ready to go to the ends
of the earth for you, right? 

1146
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:21,880
So I have literally learned so 
much through that experience 

1147
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:25,520
because like not only did it go 
down the way that it did while 

1148
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,960
we were having the baby, he was 
right there the moment that we 

1149
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,960
weren't having a baby, he goes 
to me and we have never spoke 

1150
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:35,000
like goes to me. 
That's what's crazy about it 

1151
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,600
because then like he'll pop up 
places, but like it's never in 

1152
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:41,360
direct contact with me where 
like in the past I would run 

1153
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,480
into him in the past, I would 
see him on social media or like 

1154
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,880
just in general. 
And I've been reading a lot 

1155
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:49,960
about like the invisible string 
theory, the red string theory, 

1156
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,360
like you're not going to meet a 
person till you're meant to meet

1157
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:53,840
them. 
And when you learn a lesson with

1158
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,680
someone, you will never see them
again. 

1159
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:57,760
Like you're done. 
You've you've learned the 

1160
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,200
lesson. 
And I think that's so 

1161
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:01,880
empowering. 
Like that's what's healed me 

1162
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:05,360
through this because I'm like. 
Past life connections no longer 

1163
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:07,520
entice me if you're not helping 
me grow in this life. 

1164
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:11,480
Like I don't need unresolved 
past life shit with you coming 

1165
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,120
up in this life. 
Like you're distracting me. 

1166
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:17,960
I think the biggest lesson I 
learned was appreciation for 

1167
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,920
life. 
I think I was taking a lot of 

1168
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:23,160
because this is the first time I
had someone young die in my 

1169
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:24,600
life. 
You know, I've had like 

1170
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:28,320
grandparents pass before and 
that's not like that's not a 

1171
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:32,120
kicker because it was like he 
was sick for a very long time. 

1172
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:34,480
You know, it was almost for a 
long time with my grandpa. 

1173
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:37,760
I was like almost just being 
like, I'm so ready for you to 

1174
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:40,520
pass because you're just in so 
much pain and it's just your 

1175
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:43,560
time and you're ready to go. 
When it's a young person that 

1176
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:48,160
passes unexpected, it's such a 
different kind of grief because 

1177
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,640
it's like, hold on. 
I wasn't ready for this. 

1178
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:52,960
Like this can just happen at any
point in time. 

1179
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:56,160
And it made me realize like, I'm
like, whoa, every single person 

1180
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:59,560
in my life, including me, can 
just be gone like this. 

1181
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:02,720
I need to appreciate every 
moment I have with the people I 

1182
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,440
love in my life. 
I'm doing a podcast. 

1183
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:13,200
Love you. 
I agree though, like at the end 

1184
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:18,080
of the day, life is so fleeting.
Every experience is so fleeting.

1185
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,080
And you know, when we go through
difficult times or we 

1186
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:24,080
breakthrough the walls or the 
barriers, like it does teach you

1187
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:27,360
a lot about yourself. 
And you spoke on fear earlier 

1188
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:31,480
and I was reading a book or I, I
heard this somewhere and it said

1189
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:35,040
that courage is only cultivated 
in the face of fear. 

1190
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:38,240
If you don't ever have any fear 
in your life, you're never going

1191
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:39,760
to cultivate courage. 
You're going to cultivate 

1192
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:41,960
complacency. 
And that changed my whole 

1193
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:45,680
perspective because so many 
women go through battles alone. 

1194
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:48,360
And I know men do as well, but 
like, as a woman, we're 

1195
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:51,120
supporting women right now. 
Like we go through silent 

1196
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,360
battles. 
So like me being really open 

1197
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:56,720
about the things I've went 
through and you as well help so 

1198
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:59,440
many people that like, it's just
mind blowing. 

1199
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:02,840
Like the especially the silent 
supporters, the people who have 

1200
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:06,000
never booked, the people who 
never have shown their face to 

1201
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:09,360
either one of us are literally 
cheering us on, rooting for us. 

1202
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,640
And that changed my perspective 
on like friendships in general 

1203
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:15,520
because I know strangers who 
want better for me than people 

1204
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:18,640
that were in my life. 
And it's like, you got to go. 

1205
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:22,160
You just got to fucking go. 
It is true, it is true, and it's

1206
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:25,360
just a sad part of life where 
not everyone has good intentions

1207
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:26,680
and not everyone's a good 
person. 

1208
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:29,920
Everyone's capable of being a 
good person, but everyone is 

1209
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:33,880
also capable of being a horrible
person and you have to make the 

1210
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:35,760
choice every single day to be a 
good person. 

1211
01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:37,720
You have to make that choice 
every single day. 

1212
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:42,120
Yeah, like I have a really bad 
thing about like I hate when 

1213
01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:45,120
people litter and I kind of like
did a counter curse. 

1214
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:48,240
Like if you litter every time 
you throw something out of your 

1215
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:51,240
window, you will lose $100. 
I don't care where you lose it 

1216
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,000
from. 
You will not have $100.00. 

1217
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:54,800
So if you throw 10 things out, 
guess what? 

1218
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:59,000
Thousand gone back taxes hitting
you fucking pest control at your

1219
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,360
door. 
You know, like whatever it is 

1220
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:04,200
like I am really big on like 
counterbalancing things that 

1221
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,520
stress me out. 
Like it really stressed me out 

1222
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:10,360
when people litter and I'm very,
very much like, you will rot 

1223
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:12,160
because you are littering like 
every day. 

1224
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:15,400
I want to just like say some 
crazy shit on Facebook about 

1225
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:17,840
people who litter, but I I 
refrain because I'm like 

1226
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,160
energetically, I've already set 
the intention. 

1227
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:22,240
These people will be broke and 
miserable. 

1228
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:25,440
Like that's all they'll be. 
Well, that's the craziest part 

1229
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:29,160
is littering is like you're, 
it's an act where you're harming

1230
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:31,280
other people, but you're also 
harming yourself. 

1231
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:35,400
Like, you know, we, I don't 
know, I hate the way we treat 

1232
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:38,040
this Earth. 
Breaks my heart. 

1233
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:40,240
It really breaks my heart 
because I'm like, you guys 

1234
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:42,480
realize we only have one Earth, 
right? 

1235
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:45,080
Like we only have one earth. 
And like we need the Earth more 

1236
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:46,960
than the Earth needs us. 
Yeah. 

1237
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:51,480
So what are we doing here? 
Why are we, why are we treating 

1238
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:55,320
our Earth this poorly? 
It's it's tough. 

1239
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,600
It's hard. 
You know, I think like fast 

1240
01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,200
fashion was like a big thing 
that was like a problem. 

1241
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:05,400
And I think that again goes into
like just consumerism and just 

1242
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:09,560
people, a lot of the fast 
fashion, I'm like, no, find your

1243
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:12,840
own style. 
Find a style that you love and 

1244
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,680
you'll and you'll never go out 
of style. 

1245
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:19,680
You don't need to like be buying
$700.00 Sheen carts every month 

1246
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:23,560
to feel complete. 
And if you are, you need to take

1247
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:27,200
a step back because ultimately, 
like this is filling a gap. 

1248
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:29,760
This is filling some sort of gap
and it's never going to be 

1249
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:31,400
filled. 
It's never ever going to be 

1250
01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:34,760
filled. 
You know, that makes sense. 

1251
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,400
Yeah, like as someone who has 
been a consumerist and has 

1252
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:41,800
really done exactly what you're 
saying, not like following 

1253
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,680
trends, but just feeling like I 
need to fill a void. 

1254
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:46,920
Like I'm very much like a 
maximalist. 

1255
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:48,960
Like every all the way up to my 
ceiling. 

1256
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:52,240
Like there is stuff everywhere 
but now I'm making. 

1257
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:54,480
My room is pretty decor too so I
love. 

1258
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:57,000
Decor. 
It's like the the teenage poster

1259
01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:04,840
wall to the millennial collage 
wall, the long stretch there. 

1260
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,960
But yeah, you know, like, I 
really do think that we're just 

1261
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:09,400
taught to fill the void with 
stuff. 

1262
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:13,680
I love material, like, not in a 
way of like, I think it 

1263
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:16,280
completes me. 
I just love art. 

1264
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:19,560
I just love lamps. 
I love mirrors. 

1265
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:21,600
I love ornaments. 
I love crystals. 

1266
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:25,960
Like, I just like those things. 
But I'm also like Venus and 

1267
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:31,880
Taurus sun and Taurus, you know,
Moon and Libra like and it's 

1268
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:35,200
funny because my mom's a Libra 
sun and a Taurus moon. 

1269
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:37,160
I'm a tourist sign and a 
Lieberman. 

1270
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:40,200
So we're actually day and night 
opposite like day and night. 

1271
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:44,120
And so like I've learned a lot 
from my moms mistakes of like 

1272
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:48,800
racking up debt, buying shit you
don't need, buying things that 

1273
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:51,640
are going to get repossessed or 
like foreclosed on. 

1274
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:54,560
Like I am so particular about 
paying off debt. 

1275
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,320
Like I had my student loans paid
off 4 years ago. 

1276
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,640
Like I will not sit around with 
debt. 

1277
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:01,920
It bothers me, it irks me. 
I don't like it. 

1278
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:05,400
I am like a credit queen. 
Like my credit score is like 

1279
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,400
8:30. 
If I pay something off, it goes 

1280
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:08,440
down. 
It does not go up. 

1281
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:11,080
They just dropped my shit four 
points because I've almost paid 

1282
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:14,200
off my house. 
But with that being said, like 

1283
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:17,280
that's what's important to me. 
Like I like stuff, but only at 

1284
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:20,120
the expense that I can actually 
own it, use it, and appreciate 

1285
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:22,160
it. 
I got away from like just 

1286
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:24,920
getting on Sheen and adding 
things to the cart. 

1287
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:27,600
I do have a life hack for all 
the the people listening. 

1288
01:06:27,960 --> 01:06:31,320
I go to a website, I create a 
new account as if I'm a new 

1289
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,800
user. 
Even if I bought, I add a shit 

1290
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:35,480
ton of stuff to the cart and I 
leave. 

1291
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:39,000
You'll get a 30% coupon by the 
end of the evening, promise you 

1292
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:40,800
just happened. 
Just did it with Fashion Nova 

1293
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:43,240
the other day. 
Never shop on Fashion Nova, but 

1294
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:47,280
I needed a festival shirt and 
the shirt said good girls go to 

1295
01:06:47,280 --> 01:06:49,480
heaven, bad girls go backstage. 
And I was like, this is just 

1296
01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:51,920
perfect for a festival. 
And so I was looking. 

1297
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:54,840
I added a bunch of stuff to the 
cart, made sure I was signed in.

1298
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:59,840
Left abandoned cart. 30 minutes 
later, 30% off. 

1299
01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:01,760
Not only did they e-mail it, 
they texted it. 

1300
01:07:02,320 --> 01:07:05,680
So then I went back and got 
$45.00 off my order and got what

1301
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:08,160
I wanted. 
So like I'm really meticulous 

1302
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:12,800
about how I do things but add to
cart, sign up, abandoned cart 

1303
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:14,800
that is this. 
I never knew that. 

1304
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,480
I never. 
Knew it's different I just got 

1305
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,920
well I got at least once a month
will treat myself to something 

1306
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:23,560
like a purse or shoes nothing 
crazy like I bought 2 pairs of 

1307
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:28,440
Vans they were $30 each like I'm
not going crazy but I I like to 

1308
01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:31,280
eyeball things and then I 
manifest them getting cheaper or

1309
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:34,680
on sale so there was like a 
cherry lamp that was $200 and I 

1310
01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:38,520
didn't want to pay $200 I got it
all the way down to 60 and then 

1311
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:41,680
I bought it I think it. 
My room pretty much besides my 

1312
01:07:41,680 --> 01:07:44,320
bed was free. 
I pretty much manifested my 

1313
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:47,280
entire room love. 
That I love that you know, I 

1314
01:07:47,320 --> 01:07:50,160
literally think that I'm the 
reason that like cherries came 

1315
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:53,720
back into reality because like I
the reason I started my business

1316
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:56,360
and named it like contrary 
cherry is because when I was a 

1317
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:59,640
kid I had a sketchbook and I 
sketched out a whole business 

1318
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:03,680
model about cherries like. 
I was obsessed with cherries. 

1319
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:08,640
I had cherry everything in the 
1st grade of cherries. 

1320
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:11,960
I feel like that Y2K that's 
coming back, like it's like 

1321
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:15,960
thriving in my own inner child's
like bubble. 

1322
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,279
Like my inner world is like 
thriving. 

1323
01:08:18,279 --> 01:08:22,600
Like when I was a kid, I like 
love stickers and I loved wall 

1324
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:24,640
art or Lisa Frank stuff or 
whatever. 

1325
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:27,200
And I feel like my house is just
like a tribute to my inner 

1326
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:32,399
child, which is so healing. 
No, I love, I love nice decord 

1327
01:08:32,399 --> 01:08:35,560
houses, you know, that like show
off your personality. 

1328
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:37,880
Like that is really, really 
cool. 

1329
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:41,399
I don't necessarily I understand
a lot of people need to buy from

1330
01:08:41,399 --> 01:08:43,319
like Sheen. 
So I'm not even like shitting on

1331
01:08:43,319 --> 01:08:46,359
people who buy from Sheen, but 
I'm like, if you're buying, if 

1332
01:08:46,359 --> 01:08:49,279
you're constantly just having to
buy stuff to like keep up with 

1333
01:08:49,279 --> 01:08:53,880
the fashion trends, I'm like, I 
personally just don't think it's

1334
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,880
good for you spiritually. 
It's not good for the 

1335
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:58,279
environment. 
It's not good for you mentally 

1336
01:08:58,359 --> 01:09:01,279
because honestly, you can never 
keep, you can never ever keep 

1337
01:09:01,279 --> 01:09:03,319
up. 
Whatever your style is, it's 

1338
01:09:03,319 --> 01:09:05,960
going to be out of style one day
and it'll be back in style a 

1339
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:09,279
different day. 
And that's why like, you just 

1340
01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:13,560
need to find what works for you.
You need to find what works for 

1341
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,760
you. 
You need to really, this is your

1342
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:18,279
avatar. 
Design your avatar the way you 

1343
01:09:18,279 --> 01:09:20,479
like it. 
Design yourself the way you want

1344
01:09:20,479 --> 01:09:23,200
to see some someone you want to 
see in the mirror everyday. 

1345
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:27,120
And ultimately, who gives a fuck
whether you look like everyone 

1346
01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:29,040
else? 
What's the point in looking like

1347
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:30,560
everyone else? 
What's the point of being like 

1348
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:33,680
everyone else? 
Yeah, because it's the unique 

1349
01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:36,560
people like Prince or like 
Michael Jackson or people in 

1350
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:40,000
their era that stood out, that 
did something differently, that 

1351
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:41,560
are fucking legends, you know 
what I mean? 

1352
01:09:41,560 --> 01:09:44,520
Like, you don't become a legend 
by doing it the way everyone 

1353
01:09:44,520 --> 01:09:47,120
else is doing it. 
But one of my friends told me 

1354
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:51,960
that her acronym for the word 
witch is Woman in Total Control 

1355
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,240
of Herself. 
Oh, I love that. 

1356
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:56,680
Like that is really like 
resonated with me and it's been 

1357
01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:59,800
in my head for this episode 
because I just feel like your 

1358
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:04,680
outward energy is so like what I
want to say, like rooted and 

1359
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,480
like supported. 
It really does feel like even 

1360
01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:10,800
though your name is like baneful
Bell, that like spirits really 

1361
01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:13,680
unsupportive of like whatever 
you're doing, you know, 'cause 

1362
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:16,960
like I've just connected with 
people and you see this like 

1363
01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:20,160
version of them on the Internet 
and then you get on a call with 

1364
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:23,480
them like this and it's like, 
who the fuck am I talking to? 

1365
01:10:23,480 --> 01:10:26,240
Like you can't even tell. 
Like I don't feel like it's the 

1366
01:10:26,240 --> 01:10:29,000
same person at all. 
I know I think people probably 

1367
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:32,280
think I'm a lot meaner than I 
am, but I'm, I'm actually, cuz 

1368
01:10:32,280 --> 01:10:35,280
they're like, oh, you've 
specialized in hexes and painful

1369
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:38,000
magic and I'm like, yeah, but 
I'm a sweetheart. 

1370
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,680
Like I just, I'm more like fuck 
around and find out kind of 

1371
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:43,640
thing. 
So I'm like, you're doing 

1372
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:47,480
horrible, horrible things. 
I don't feel bad for hexing you 

1373
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,400
because I'm helping someone 
else. 

1374
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:52,040
I'm helping someone else reclaim
their power and reclaim their 

1375
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:54,040
justice. 
And if you think I'm toxic for 

1376
01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:57,720
that, that's fine, That's chill.
I'm not the person for you, 

1377
01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:00,000
that's OK. 
That's chill of me. 

1378
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:03,040
That's not my problem. 
I'm not here, you know, I'm 

1379
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:06,560
doing what feels good for me and
that's, that's my business. 

1380
01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:09,480
If it's not good for you, that's
fine, that's your business. 

1381
01:11:09,480 --> 01:11:11,920
You don't have to be involved. 
And that's how I, that's how I 

1382
01:11:11,920 --> 01:11:14,080
kind of feel. 
I'm very open and honest about 

1383
01:11:14,080 --> 01:11:17,960
who I am 'cause I want people 
who don't feel lying to me to 

1384
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:20,120
not be a part of my life. 
If you don't want to be a part 

1385
01:11:20,120 --> 01:11:23,040
of my life, that's fine with me.
That's fine with me. 

1386
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:25,760
I'm not offended at all. 
I can understand I'm not 

1387
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:28,680
everyone's cup of tea. 
I'm completely OK with that. 

1388
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:32,200
I feel like we really are like 
on a mirrored level of that 

1389
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:35,520
because I literally said at the 
beginning of this year on a 

1390
01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:39,520
podcast episode that if you are 
doing me wrong, if you are 

1391
01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:43,520
sending me evil eye harm in any 
way, that you need to fucking 

1392
01:11:43,520 --> 01:11:46,280
strap up your bootstraps and get
ready for work because baby, I'm

1393
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:50,360
not playing this year. 
And so I did a family member 

1394
01:11:50,360 --> 01:11:52,360
who's just like, harassed me, 
and I've talked about it a few 

1395
01:11:52,360 --> 01:11:56,040
times, but I did some spells 
that basically just kind of 

1396
01:11:56,040 --> 01:11:58,960
transmute and return a lot of 
that to her and amplify it. 

1397
01:11:59,320 --> 01:12:01,640
I'd be damned if a fucking 
tornado does not hit her 

1398
01:12:01,640 --> 01:12:03,880
neighborhood the same week that 
I do that. 

1399
01:12:04,160 --> 01:12:05,840
And her boyfriend's truck got 
stolen. 

1400
01:12:05,880 --> 01:12:07,800
So I'm like, baby girl, please 
don't fuck with me. 

1401
01:12:07,800 --> 01:12:10,600
Like I could have ripped your 
whole house out of the roots, 

1402
01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:13,240
but I didn't because I decided. 
I don't. 

1403
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:16,760
Like harm people. 
Like, I don't want to be evil 

1404
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:19,960
because I know that powers can 
be used for good or evil and I 

1405
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:23,080
know that in past life's I was 
evil or I have been evil. 

1406
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:25,040
I think we're all evil in 
somewhere, like some way, 

1407
01:12:25,040 --> 01:12:28,440
somehow, you know, But it's like
if you hurt women, children or 

1408
01:12:28,440 --> 01:12:29,800
animals. 
I really. 

1409
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:31,440
Like fair game. 
Yeah, fair. 

1410
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:35,920
Happens to you like fair. 
I love that. 

1411
01:12:35,920 --> 01:12:38,840
I think so many beautiful people
such as yourself are like 

1412
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:41,040
helping the world heal. 
So I just want to thank you so 

1413
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:44,160
much for coming on and talking 
with me today. 

1414
01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:47,800
Everyone listening, you will be 
able to find baneful Bell's 

1415
01:12:48,160 --> 01:12:51,720
website, her booking info, her 
Instagram, her Tiktok, anything 

1416
01:12:51,720 --> 01:12:54,440
that you need, you'll be able to
find it in the description. 

1417
01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:57,000
So, Bell, is there a message 
that you want to leave us with 

1418
01:12:57,000 --> 01:13:01,000
today? 
Lord, OK, now I'm put on the 

1419
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,920
spot. 
Just be yourself. 

1420
01:13:04,240 --> 01:13:07,360
I'm like trying to think, oh 
hold on, I'm on the spot, give 

1421
01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:09,600
me a second, give me a second. 
Let me think pressure. 

1422
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:12,520
'S off, pressure's off. 
I know I'm like, I'm like, I'm 

1423
01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:15,240
being pressured right now. 
Pressure. 

1424
01:13:16,040 --> 01:13:18,520
Be yourself. 
You're not ever. 

1425
01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:20,240
You can't be everyone's 
everything. 

1426
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:23,080
And if people hate you, you're 
doing something right. 

1427
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,400
Amen. 
I love it. 

1428
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:28,120
Thank you all so much. 
We will see you next time in 

1429
01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:29,720
Candyland. 
Bye bye. 

1430
01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:36,680
Welcome to Candyland spicy and 
sweet you're in for a tree your 

1431
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:40,600
wildest trees. 
Got gun drops of knowledge and 

1432
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:46,280
liquors Too plump and tea 
picking for me and you 

1433
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:50,560
Candyland. 
Candyland a Mr. Coldplay. 

1434
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:54,840
Here your shadows will meet your
life face to face. 

1435
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:59,200
Let your imagination run wild as
stories unfold. 

1436
01:13:59,440 --> 01:14:03,200
May your anything that has a 
home. 

1437
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:07,320
Welcome to Candyland spicy and 
sweet. 

1438
01:14:07,440 --> 01:14:12,880
You're in for a tree you're 
wildest strains, gum, drops of 

1439
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:19,280
knowledge and liquorice too. 
Plums plenty picking for me and 

1440
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:22,520
you. 
Thank you for joining us. 

1441
01:14:22,520 --> 01:14:26,480
May you find solace and grace. 
Welcome to Candyland.