1 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:16,400 Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini. 2 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:34,720 Welcome back to Candy Land. We are here and we are so 3 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,880 excited because we had a surprise for you all, but now 4 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:44,120 it's being extended. We did and like divine timing, 5 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,160 right, like we had to reschedule it because I wasn't feeling well 6 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,240 and then turned out that the surprise, you know, other person 7 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,840 involved in the surprise needed to extend it to. 8 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,590 So it worked out. Yeah. 9 00:00:55,590 --> 00:01:00,550 And what I really like about how we work is Gemini is the person. 10 00:01:00,550 --> 00:01:03,110 It's like, I'm just going to push through even though I'm on 11 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:06,150 my deathbed and I'm like, no, I'm going to take a nap, Let's 12 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:10,830 reschedule it. And so before she even replied 13 00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:13,470 about, like, I was like, let's just reschedule. 14 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:17,470 I texted the guest and the guest was like, wow, this makes so 15 00:01:17,470 --> 00:01:19,550 much sense because I feel off today. 16 00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:22,470 So it's just really funny because Gemini was like, I'm 17 00:01:22,470 --> 00:01:24,790 going to push through even though I don't feel good. 18 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:29,360 And I was like, no, not. It's so good that we didn't 19 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,960 record because that night, like I had such a bad fever. 20 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:37,680 I was losing my voice. Brian kept, Brian was like super 21 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,000 concerned and kept waking me up throughout the night. 22 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,440 And like, taking the blanket off of me and was like, you're too 23 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,240 hot to have a blanket on. And I was like, what? 24 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,880 I'm so cold. So you know it happened for a 25 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,530 reason. I feel like with Mercury 26 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:56,330 retrograde, so many things for other people are like not going 27 00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:59,450 to plan. Like this morning several people 28 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:03,690 like texted me and like one person had to cancel their whole 29 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:07,930 trip, another person totaled their car like and it just makes 30 00:02:07,930 --> 00:02:11,930 me really happy that like I don't go out at night anymore. 31 00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:16,570 Like after 9:00, your girl's in the house Speaking of things 32 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,970 being cancelled. So you remember that trip that I 33 00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:22,320 was going to go on for content with other with other girls? 34 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,480 Yeah. So. 35 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,840 And then I was like, I'm not going to do it. 36 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,280 Like it just it doesn't make sense for me to do it. 37 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,120 They ended up rescheduling it anyways and had I stressed 38 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,600 myself out trying to make something happen that I knew I 39 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,760 wasn't going to be able to make happen, I'd have been stressed 40 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,080 the last month and a half trying to push through and make 41 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,200 something happen. That in the end didn't happen 42 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,720 anyways, I feel. Like traveling? 43 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,680 Getting married, doing anything like changing during Mercury 44 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:58,360 retrograde is just like frowned upon and so many people try to 45 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,320 push through and do like the craziest things. 46 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:06,080 And with Saturn, also in retrograde, like don't sign any 47 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:10,040 contracts, don't get a lease, don't move, Like don't do 48 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:14,680 anything that's logistically not making sense just because your 49 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,880 human mind is like, we should do this. 50 00:03:18,140 --> 00:03:21,900 Trying to force yourself into situations and positions that 51 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,540 like you know that you shouldn't be in but you're like, but I 52 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:28,980 have to be there. I'm real big on protecting my 53 00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:32,740 piece and just being like, no, I'm not coming like quickly, 54 00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:35,620 quickly after invited. I'm like, actually I'm not going 55 00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:36,940 to come. I already know. 56 00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:40,700 You know what I was I was thinking about the other day and 57 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:44,950 I who was I talking to? I I was talking to somebody 58 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:48,910 about the dynamic that you and I have and I was laughing at the 59 00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:53,590 fact that like, you know, people always have their assumptions 60 00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:55,950 about you and I, right? And there's like this 61 00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,950 predetermination that people have that like, I'm more 62 00:03:58,950 --> 00:04:01,710 assertive than you are or something like that. 63 00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:05,230 And what makes me laugh is that the things that make me 64 00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:07,430 uncomfortable to, like, communicate about like 65 00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:12,790 rescheduling or, you know, like something coming through and me 66 00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:14,630 being like, this doesn't make any sense. 67 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,029 Why would we do this? This isn't making sense. 68 00:04:17,269 --> 00:04:19,149 And I don't want to ruffle feathers. 69 00:04:19,269 --> 00:04:22,430 You're the one who gets like in the cracks of things and you're 70 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,470 like, listen, this doesn't make any sense. 71 00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:28,030 Why would I be doing this? Or like, this really doesn't 72 00:04:28,030 --> 00:04:29,950 align with us right now. But thank you so much. 73 00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:34,030 And like, I seem to let anything that's a direct kind of 74 00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:38,870 confrontation about things or I feel like could disappoint 75 00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:41,150 somebody in some way. I'm like, ooh, I better back 76 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:43,390 off. And you're like, absolutely not. 77 00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:46,030 The bowl is coming. Let's face it, head on. 78 00:04:47,030 --> 00:04:51,950 I am extremely assertive and like really dominant and I think 79 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:56,630 that's why a lot of people tread lightly around me like they 80 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,940 don't. Come for me if they're really 81 00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:02,460 not ready to handle what I have to offer, whether that's like in 82 00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:05,700 business or in friendships or in relationships. 83 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:08,660 But I just really know what I want. 84 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:11,940 And it's funny that you use the bull reference because that's my 85 00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:16,380 Zodiac and I do feel like most of the time I just face 86 00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:20,860 everything head on, like whether it is something to do like with. 87 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,920 A legal matter or like a personal matter, I address it 88 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,920 the same way and I take my emotions out of it because I 89 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,720 don't want to be emotionally charged, making decisions from 90 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,920 like 17 year old me's mind or something like that. 91 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:44,720 I tend to emotionally process things and then try to figure 92 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:51,250 out how to what's the word like when you're like logic. 93 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:54,170 Like I I try to like logic out what I'm going to do. 94 00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:58,010 And I definitely emotionally think about things. 95 00:05:58,010 --> 00:06:01,330 And I also strategize before I have conversations. 96 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:04,570 And that's come from years of just being told that I'm a bitch 97 00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:07,370 when I communicate. And so I'm always like, let me 98 00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:09,730 make sure that I'm like, trying to say it in a way that 99 00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:16,490 everybody's going to understand. But really I should just find 100 00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:17,890 I'm. I'm trying to find my middle 101 00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:22,450 ground right now of not being like seeming like I'm being a 102 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:27,490 raging bitch, but also not having to pick and think about 103 00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:29,410 every little thing before I have a conversation. 104 00:06:30,530 --> 00:06:34,770 I just think because communication was my major. 105 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,000 And my degree in college that I learned a lot of those like 106 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:44,040 social dynamics where like a lot of people cave under that 107 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,360 pressure. I know for sure I could get on a 108 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:51,120 stage and talk to 20,000 people and not stutter or miss a beat. 109 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,160 And I wouldn't even write what I was going to say. 110 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,880 I would just channel it. And I just think that like 111 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,440 building that confidence in something that like. 112 00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,730 College is uncomfortable. And a lot of people, once it 113 00:07:02,730 --> 00:07:05,650 starts getting hard, they stop going, you know, because no 114 00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:09,210 one's forcing you to go. No one's like, okay now, little 115 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:11,410 Timmy, I'm going to hold your hand the whole time. 116 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,970 Your teachers, like, I don't care if you ever come to class, 117 00:07:14,090 --> 00:07:17,810 talk to you later, you know? And so being in that position 118 00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:22,650 where I had to do things I didn't want to do, I think it's 119 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:27,580 taught me a lot about just. Facing that problem head on. 120 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:31,100 Because if you go home and you're like none of swords 121 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:34,820 laying in bed, worried about it, you're really manifesting it to 122 00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:37,740 be more than it needs to be. And I know we've had 123 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:40,700 conversations in the past where you're like, I thought you would 124 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:44,020 be mad and I'm like, I don't even care at all. 125 00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:47,340 Not one part of me cares and you're like, really? 126 00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:51,000 I'm so relieved. It's because you went home, not 127 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,840 a sword's energy. It was like overthinking it, and 128 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,520 that's like a Gemini trait with Mercury. 129 00:07:56,520 --> 00:08:00,800 Being your ruler is like overthinking the process when 130 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,240 most the time if you just put it out on the table, people are 131 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:08,720 going to be a lot more receptive and respect that assertiveness 132 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,280 if you do it in the right tone and you're not emotionally 133 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,610 driven. I work, I'm. 134 00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:19,530 I'm working really hard on it. I I've talked to you a lot about 135 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:23,770 how since we started the podcast, my communication is a 136 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:27,090 lot different than it was when we very first started. 137 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:31,650 I was very uncomfortable with even though I had coven, I was 138 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:36,730 very uncomfortable with having a conversation where we have to be 139 00:08:36,730 --> 00:08:40,130 ping ponging back and forth. And there will be a lot of times 140 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:42,890 that I would pause and I didn't really know how to say what I 141 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:48,650 wanted to say. And a big part of that was, was, 142 00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:52,250 I think, having a concern that I would say something in a way 143 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,770 that you didn't like, or I would say something that you didn't 144 00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:58,060 like. And I used to be nervous about 145 00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:00,340 things like making you upset or making you mad. 146 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:04,300 And now I'm not like, I used to be nervous that I would say 147 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,100 something and you'd be like, well, fuck you, we're not 148 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,180 friends anymore. I'm done with the podcast. 149 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:11,900 I'm deleting all the episodes and now I just can't see. 150 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:16,380 Even if we had a disagreement, which we haven't, I just can't 151 00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:20,180 see it being some kind of disagreement where we just don't 152 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:23,460 talk it through. My favorite thing about our 153 00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:28,060 friendship journey is like. How many people have been on the 154 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:33,140 opposite team trying to like, come between us and they're 155 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:36,300 like, aren't you mad that Paige is the captain of the team and 156 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,340 you're like, no, it's fine, I'm the star player and they're 157 00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:41,900 like, but she's the captain. You're like, but I'm the star 158 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:44,220 player. And they're like, you're not mad 159 00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:47,620 that she's the captain and you're like, I'm the star 160 00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:49,740 player. And like, no one understands 161 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:53,300 that honestly. I have a lot of like skills on 162 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:56,660 one side of our spectrum, but like without you I wouldn't have 163 00:09:56,660 --> 00:10:00,980 known what an RSS code is and all this stuff that you need to 164 00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:03,820 like start a podcast. I mean, clearly I could have 165 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:07,260 done the research and done the work and made it happen, but I 166 00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:10,500 think that the difference between a lot of people and 167 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:13,860 their goals is they want to always be on top. 168 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,580 And I don't really feel that way. 169 00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:20,500 Like in any dynamic, I want people who feel equal. 170 00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:23,130 Are like equally seen and supported. 171 00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:27,690 And that's why I like in the past I let people into my 172 00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:31,690 community to support them, that like, don't even support 173 00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:33,090 themselves. You know what I mean? 174 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,850 And that's where I have to draw the line. 175 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:37,410 It's like if you're not doing the work on your end of the 176 00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:41,170 spectrum, it doesn't fucking matter what the captain is doing 177 00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:43,370 or saying, because you're not going to win that game. 178 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,400 Something that I had recognized, I was having a conversation with 179 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:54,000 somebody that she used to be a well, she is a client, but we've 180 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,480 just had like this longstanding friendship too. 181 00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:01,800 And before I started doing the mentorship, I had conversations 182 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,480 with her about mentorship because she had been like with 183 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,400 me as I was growing all of this. And and so when that whole thing 184 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,680 happened inside of the community, she was in mentorship 185 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,240 at the time and she saw everything that kind of 186 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,120 happened. And between you and I, she 187 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,800 listens to the podcast. But she was first hand like in 188 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,920 the chat. And we were having a 189 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,440 conversation I think like two or three weeks ago. 190 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:31,240 And I was telling her like, how much I don't give a fuck, while 191 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:35,390 at the same time like I don't give a fuck about those people 192 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:40,550 anymore, necessarily. But I felt like I had this like 193 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:45,390 trust issue, an issue rebounding after that happened because I 194 00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:50,110 was no longer feeling the same way about the community. 195 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:55,850 Because all of a sudden I felt like, well, I feel unsafe and 196 00:11:55,850 --> 00:11:59,810 misunderstood by people who were like learning things from me. 197 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:02,130 And I felt like something had been taken from me. 198 00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:07,990 And I was realizing how kind of unfair that is for people who 199 00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:11,830 have stayed loyal and are giving that connection and are here, 200 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:15,030 like still wanting to learn and still wanting to be poured into 201 00:12:15,030 --> 00:12:17,870 and what not. And ever since I realized that, 202 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,790 I've really been shifting my mindset about that whole 203 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:22,670 experience that you and I went through. 204 00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:27,230 And I really am taking that as such a learning experience and 205 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:31,070 recognizing energy. Because there are situations now 206 00:12:31,070 --> 00:12:34,550 like you know we'll text about something or something will come 207 00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:38,070 up upper or I'll just have a feeling or you will and we'll be 208 00:12:38,070 --> 00:12:40,790 like this really feels like that over here and we're going to 209 00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:42,910 avert it. Like this really feels like that 210 00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:46,670 pattern trying to catch us back up and this is the kind of like 211 00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:49,110 boundary I need to have. What do you think about you know 212 00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:51,870 what's your opinion on this? OK you feel the same thing. 213 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:55,670 Cool. And it's it makes me feel like 214 00:12:55,950 --> 00:13:00,270 and I'm pouring back in that same energy now and that 215 00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:05,630 community is rebuilding itself and the strength and I feel like 216 00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:09,910 there's so much more growth and opportunity now because of that. 217 00:13:10,910 --> 00:13:14,510 Oh yeah. And honestly, I think that that 218 00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:20,470 was more of like a detour in going back into that limited 219 00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:25,310 mindset of like, well, I can't trust people or no new friends 220 00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:28,430 or I'm just going to stick to the same patterns and cycles 221 00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:31,670 that I like, and I'm going to reject the patterns and the 222 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:34,390 cycles that are difficult. And honestly? 223 00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:39,310 If anything, it really solidified the foundation. 224 00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:42,230 Kind of like when you're pouring cement, you've got to kind of 225 00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:45,230 like brush it and make it like even in every area. 226 00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:48,110 Just because you poured cement doesn't mean it's going to be 227 00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:50,990 even or solid, you know what I mean? 228 00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:56,190 So I feel like a lot of that was like, how solid is your 229 00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:59,420 foundation? And is this going to deteriorate 230 00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:03,460 like your progress? Because in the past, I would 231 00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:07,100 have wanted to ruin those people's lives, like I would 232 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:11,660 have not slept until they were out on the street, broken, 233 00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:14,340 miserable. But then I realized they're 234 00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:18,140 already broken, miserable. So what more, what more could 235 00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:20,340 really happen here? You know, like. 236 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:25,380 I will never in my life feel like I need to be affordable for 237 00:14:25,380 --> 00:14:27,380 everyone. And I think before that 238 00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:31,420 experience there was like, this part of me that was like, well, 239 00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:36,140 maybe I owe something to the universe to offer this where 240 00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:40,140 everyone has access. But if anything, I think it made 241 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:44,500 me realize that, like, you can hate from outside the club, but 242 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:48,020 you can't even get in. And that's that. 243 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,360 Oh, shit. As you were talking, I was oh, I 244 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:01,440 was thinking about how I wonder if things would have been any 245 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:07,120 different if you and I hadn't actually met in person and been 246 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:11,320 inside of a situation where there was literally 247 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,280 confrontation in front of our faces. 248 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:19,680 Because what that experience did is that showed both of us how we 249 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:24,240 respond inside of hostile situations, situations where our 250 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:28,440 safety is at risk, situation, you know, like that was a 251 00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:32,060 legitimate thing that we went through meeting for the first 252 00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:35,620 time and that solidified a friendship too. 253 00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:39,100 Because I know how you move, I know what to expect from you. 254 00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:42,860 I know how you react and what your thought processes are. 255 00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:46,120 And in turn, you know the same about me too. 256 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:50,640 So when someone says that you handle situations a certain way, 257 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:54,200 or that you say certain things or whatever, I know right off 258 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,840 the bat I've seen her handle worse. 259 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,440 And that's not any part of her processing mechanisms. 260 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,320 My favorite thing is like, I think that term, like, not my 261 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,920 circus, not my monkey, kind of comes to mind. 262 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:11,280 But it was our circus. They just weren't. 263 00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:16,330 Really in the act, like they weren't main character energy. 264 00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:20,730 And I feel like I want everyone that I rock with to feel like 265 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,570 the main character. I don't want people to feel like 266 00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:27,410 their sideline or their Assad friend or they're not good 267 00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:30,630 enough. And if you feel that way, that's 268 00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:33,430 a personal problem. That's not coming from me. 269 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:37,430 That's not coming from you. I've never once set everyone 270 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:40,590 down and been like, now I'm the leader and you're going to 271 00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:44,270 listen to me like I understand that people have free will. 272 00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:47,630 And you outgrow communities. You outgrow circles. 273 00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:50,250 You outgrow mentors. And teachers. 274 00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:52,970 And there's a beautiful saying that's like when you outro the 275 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,170 mentor, that means it's time for you to become the teacher. 276 00:16:56,530 --> 00:17:01,410 And I've learned this even just in spiritual communities locally 277 00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:06,170 that no matter what, if you never got out of that high 278 00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:09,930 school mentality, then you're going to continue that in your 279 00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:14,250 adult life and mean girl energy. Isn't it? 280 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,810 And you will never turn me into something or villainize me, 281 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:19,849 because that's just not who I am. 282 00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:24,650 And I think that a lot of what was taught there is that you 283 00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:28,050 can't please everyone. And like, you're not everyone's 284 00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:31,490 cup of tea. But even though they want to 285 00:17:31,490 --> 00:17:34,210 drink the tea, they may still not like it, you know what I 286 00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:35,770 mean? Like they're still trying to sit 287 00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:40,120 the. The T but they deep down had 288 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:44,720 some type of resentment or anger that was like aside from us, and 289 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:49,320 I think about it regularly on how much my business has 290 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,520 elevated since then. Just by like upping my 291 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,000 protection and my words and my banishing like I just did a full 292 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,280 return to sender like every other week, baby, we are sending 293 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,160 that crusty but energy back to whoever and I don't even care 294 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,770 about. Specific people. 295 00:18:05,770 --> 00:18:10,370 It's just the world as a whole. If you are struggling or you're 296 00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:14,930 in lower vibration, it's natural to be envious or jealous of 297 00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:17,130 people who have elevated past that. 298 00:18:17,370 --> 00:18:21,210 Like if you grew up in the mud and you see someone get out of 299 00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:23,560 the mud. Most of the time, just like 300 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,000 rappers, it's people from their hometown that shoot them that, 301 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,480 you know what I mean? It's their best friend, it's 302 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,320 their brother, it's someone that they've put their life and name 303 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,280 on the line for that ends up killing them. 304 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,000 And I just don't got time for that. 305 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,880 Like I don't have time for that energy in my circle, so. 306 00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:43,330 I think that just taught me a lot about not giving everyone 307 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,530 access to the club, not giving everyone access. 308 00:18:46,810 --> 00:18:48,570 And that doesn't make you a mean girl. 309 00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:53,130 It makes you like Stern and in your power to be like, you know 310 00:18:53,130 --> 00:18:55,810 what? I don't need 45 people in this 311 00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:57,810 circle to feel like It's a big circle. 312 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:01,250 There can be four people who really support me and I'm going 313 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:03,820 to get a lot further. Maybe there was only there's 314 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:07,020 only four directions. I don't need 45 people to 315 00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:12,540 solidify my spiritual abilities or to hike me up and blow gas 316 00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:15,860 and smoke up my ass all day. Like, I don't care. 317 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:20,860 I don't even want people that feel that way. 318 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,300 You know what I mean? Like they're too much support 319 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:29,140 can be fake. Just from the jump, yeah, I get 320 00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:32,390 what you're saying. I feel like we've learned the 321 00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:38,390 difference between actual, like support and being appreciated 322 00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:41,350 and having smoke blown up our asses. 323 00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:45,310 And we also, I feel like again with the boundaries thing, 324 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,990 because what you're saying, yeah, I used to have the same 325 00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:52,950 mental thought processes. And so I would keep people that 326 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:57,080 weren't, you know, paying for mentorship or weren't even like 327 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,000 energetically really compensating what not 328 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,560 compensating, but like returning that energy. 329 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,440 And I would have them still participating in things, doing 330 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,480 things for free, because I need to be available because like, 331 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:16,640 you're needing something and when people are actually wanting 332 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:21,320 to find energy, find finance, abundance in whatever way. 333 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,500 And share that with you, they will. 334 00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:27,820 If somebody wants to go and get their hair done and they're 335 00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:31,460 going to find the however many dollars it is for them to go get 336 00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:34,660 their hair done. If they need new tires, if they 337 00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:39,220 need something done, you're going to prioritize that and 338 00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,420 you're going to end up making that happen. 339 00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:45,080 Whether that be the financial way, you're doing some kind of 340 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,400 different energy exchange, you're doing a trade in 341 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,680 something, you will find a way to make that a priority and make 342 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,200 people feel fulfilled. And so I no longer. 343 00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:59,150 We started our new tears after that and I was telling Brian 344 00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:02,550 last night, I was like another fucking person is on our spell 345 00:21:02,550 --> 00:21:04,270 work tier. I said, I remember when we 346 00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:07,350 talked about doing that and I was nervous if even one person 347 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,830 was going to sign up and I was like, and now we have multiple 348 00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:13,670 people doing our spell, working, you know, monthly with us and 349 00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,870 getting all kinds of crazy fucking energy. 350 00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:21,470 And those are the people who who actually are, like putting into, 351 00:21:21,470 --> 00:21:23,990 like, the mentorship and the spell work and stuff like 352 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:30,250 actually putting into that are the people who ask for the least 353 00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:33,690 and are just like you're worth all of this. 354 00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:36,450 Like, you guys are doing so much for us. 355 00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:38,490 Thank you so much. Every single day there's a 356 00:21:38,490 --> 00:21:43,250 message about, you know, you and Paige, this and oh, my gosh, you 357 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:46,050 gave me this reading over here. And then Paige just did my birth 358 00:21:46,050 --> 00:21:49,090 chart and this keeps on coming up in my birth chart. 359 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:50,890 No, you know, it makes total sense. 360 00:21:51,170 --> 00:21:55,600 And all it does, every, every outside obstacle, I feel like 361 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,440 all it does is push us closer together inside of our bubble. 362 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,120 And I'm like, oh, you're the person that I can trust. 363 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:05,960 Well, the freaks are coming out. I feel like the days of giving 364 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:10,160 spiritual mentors and teachers bread crumbs is fucking over. 365 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,880 Like that's over. And if you're not putting in the 366 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,430 work, I don't care. What you're doing, I don't want 367 00:22:16,430 --> 00:22:18,990 you as a client. I don't want you in my life. 368 00:22:19,070 --> 00:22:22,030 Like, if you're not going to put in the work on your own time, 369 00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:26,270 I'm not here to save you. And so many people will be up 370 00:22:26,270 --> 00:22:29,350 shit Creek without a paddle and then they're mad at everybody 371 00:22:29,350 --> 00:22:32,470 because they're in the boat with their paddles. 372 00:22:32,510 --> 00:22:37,190 But my boat has a motor baby, and I don't need you to paddle 373 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,310 me and I don't need you to coddle me. 374 00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:41,470 And I think that's where people are like. 375 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,920 Gemini makes Paige mean no y'all, just didn't know rampage 376 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:51,240 because I was trying to like put put her like to bed early so she 377 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,080 didn't get grumpy or angry. But like at the end of the day, 378 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,980 I don't have any patience for. The lack of accountability that 379 00:22:59,980 --> 00:23:05,180 I see in the world and especially in men like that is 380 00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:07,620 the worst place that I see. Lack of accountability. 381 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:10,500 Like they're blaming their mom, their third grade teacher, their 382 00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:15,180 dad didn't take them to Disney World and they're secretly a 383 00:23:15,180 --> 00:23:16,340 Viking. I don't know. 384 00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:18,300 It's just like leave me out of it. 385 00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:23,260 And I think that that's where. A lot of my power was being 386 00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:28,380 given away, was trying to serve too many masters or include too 387 00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:32,340 many people. And you know the sad thing is is 388 00:23:32,340 --> 00:23:34,980 like a dog's going to be loyal to someone that beats the shit 389 00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,620 out of them still. And I just not doing that like 390 00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:40,300 I'm not your metaphorically like. 391 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,680 Or your I'm not like your punching bag, you know what I 392 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,240 mean? I'm here to be a leader, a 393 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,080 spiritual leader, and that's what I'm going to do. 394 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,320 I'm going to lead and I'm going to make sure that what I'm 395 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,880 leading people towards has potency and has. 396 00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:57,650 Validity. I don't have time for false 397 00:23:57,650 --> 00:24:02,410 gurus or my spell works better than hers or I do this and she 398 00:24:02,410 --> 00:24:05,050 does that, but mine's better. I do not care. 399 00:24:05,330 --> 00:24:08,570 I just know for a fact that we started the power circle back in 400 00:24:08,570 --> 00:24:12,010 January and there's about 14 people on my timeline that all 401 00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:13,610 of a sudden have a full moon circle. 402 00:24:13,850 --> 00:24:16,730 Or we started the podcast a year and a half ago and now there's 403 00:24:16,730 --> 00:24:19,610 fourteen people on my timeline that got a spiritual podcast 404 00:24:19,850 --> 00:24:23,730 that clearly stole Gemini's logo at the same time for their 405 00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:25,010 podcast. It's like. 406 00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:28,330 Get a grit, Get a life. You're never going to be able to 407 00:24:28,330 --> 00:24:31,930 do it like I'm doing it, like Gemini's doing it, And you can 408 00:24:32,090 --> 00:24:35,850 take tidbits and you can take notes, but you should want to 409 00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:39,490 put your own spin on it. Like I never follow a recipe to 410 00:24:39,490 --> 00:24:47,250 a tea period. Oh my God. 411 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:54,520 Listen, we see it. We see promo that is literally 412 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,360 the exact same promo that we word for word. 413 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:04,040 Just the date has been changed. I mean, I did have my logo for 414 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,600 Coven completely stolen, but the nice thing when you have 415 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,840 original ideas is you can just come up with new shit. 416 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,320 So I just never launched that logo and came up with a brand 417 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,200 new logo. People are out here really 418 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:23,480 fucking wild in these streets and yeah, it's just unfortunate. 419 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,360 I. Just don't even care like. 420 00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:31,590 The thing about being the person with the recipe is like, you 421 00:25:31,590 --> 00:25:34,750 don't have the same flavor. You can get all the same 422 00:25:34,750 --> 00:25:37,350 ingredients, which you're not going to cook it down the same. 423 00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:40,270 And that's cool with me. Like, I don't need to be like. 424 00:25:40,690 --> 00:25:44,570 You're jockeying my style or you want to be like me because I 425 00:25:44,570 --> 00:25:47,250 don't care. And as a leader and a spiritual 426 00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:50,050 leader, of course people are going to want to take what 427 00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:53,250 you're doing and try to make it their own, but you'll never be 428 00:25:53,250 --> 00:25:56,850 able to do it the same. And that's why when I see people 429 00:25:56,850 --> 00:26:01,730 literally word for word trying to do what I'm doing or what we 430 00:26:01,730 --> 00:26:05,220 are doing as a unit. It does not matter to me because 431 00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,580 I don't ride the coattails of people. 432 00:26:07,620 --> 00:26:11,300 I already have my seat at the table, I've already got what I 433 00:26:11,300 --> 00:26:16,700 need, and I don't need any outside source of validation to 434 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,380 continue. If you take an idea, we just 435 00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:22,020 level up from that. If you do what I do, I'm doing 436 00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:24,540 it different and it doesn't have to me like. 437 00:26:25,060 --> 00:26:27,980 In a mean way or that I'm doing it better, I'm doing it 438 00:26:27,980 --> 00:26:30,180 different. And my unique, energetic 439 00:26:30,180 --> 00:26:32,380 blueprint is different than yours. 440 00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:36,700 And you can lead your own cult, but you're not going to lead it 441 00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:39,620 Like Gemini's leading it because she's the cult leader. 442 00:26:41,980 --> 00:26:43,340 Thank you for throwing that in there. 443 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:50,740 Yes, I I had a point that I wanted to make and then I 444 00:26:51,020 --> 00:26:52,980 completely lost my train of thought while you were talking. 445 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,400 She's following all this sauce and she's trying to make her own 446 00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:58,280 recipe. Y'all. 447 00:26:58,360 --> 00:26:59,040 No. I'm kidding. 448 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,320 It's crazy, though, because the podcast really has brought us so 449 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,640 close and, like, our friendship is so, like, unwavering. 450 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,120 Just like a candle flickers in the wind but it doesn't go out. 451 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,120 Like, you can keep blowing on it and blowing on it, but you're 452 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:16,080 only making that flame bigger, Period. 453 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:20,720 I remember what I wanted to say. I wanted to say that I feel like 454 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:25,180 we have this kind of similar topic that comes up a lot when 455 00:27:25,180 --> 00:27:28,380 we talk and it's come up a lot like since the very first 456 00:27:28,380 --> 00:27:30,820 season. And I feel like it's because 457 00:27:30,820 --> 00:27:33,780 these are the things that are our everyday things that 458 00:27:33,780 --> 00:27:36,620 everybody goes through, right? People. 459 00:27:37,380 --> 00:27:42,180 Whatever status that you are, whatever you're doing, trying to 460 00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:46,420 manipulate you and giving you some stank ass energy and 461 00:27:46,420 --> 00:27:49,180 projecting on you. Whether they're meaning to or 462 00:27:49,180 --> 00:27:53,420 not and discussing what you were talking about about the audacity 463 00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:58,140 of men working back at the office, I had completely 464 00:27:58,140 --> 00:28:04,300 forgotten about the amount of men in the fucking world who 465 00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:08,100 just thinks that they can do anything that they want to talk 466 00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:10,100 to anybody the way that they want to. 467 00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:13,500 Women specifically. And the office that I work at, 468 00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:16,740 it's myself. One of the owners is a woman, 469 00:28:16,740 --> 00:28:22,130 and then one of the owners is her husband and myself and my 470 00:28:22,130 --> 00:28:25,850 female boss. We get men in the office who are 471 00:28:26,610 --> 00:28:31,050 short, inconsiderate, rude, argumentative. 472 00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:35,610 We get men who their wives have to sign cancellation policies 473 00:28:35,610 --> 00:28:37,370 like they'll have an appointment, the wife will have 474 00:28:37,370 --> 00:28:39,650 an appointment and sign a cancellation policy. 475 00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:42,890 No, show the appointment and get charged and their husband will 476 00:28:42,890 --> 00:28:45,330 call the office and yell at me for their wife. 477 00:28:45,930 --> 00:28:50,170 And to the point now that I'm like, oh, I'm, I'm so sorry, 478 00:28:50,170 --> 00:28:52,250 Office policy. I can't discuss this account 479 00:28:52,250 --> 00:28:56,090 with anybody but the person. Oh, yeah, I I know you're their 480 00:28:56,090 --> 00:28:58,530 spouse, but there's no way for me to verify that I can't have 481 00:28:58,530 --> 00:29:04,330 this conversation with you. And when my male boss comes up, 482 00:29:04,690 --> 00:29:08,210 they're always kind, considerate, too impatient with 483 00:29:08,210 --> 00:29:11,130 them. Oh, yeah, no, you know, I know 484 00:29:11,130 --> 00:29:14,570 how it is running a business and yada yada. 485 00:29:14,890 --> 00:29:19,620 And there it used to really pissed me off. 486 00:29:19,620 --> 00:29:22,700 Like, I used to really take it personal and be like the 487 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:26,860 disrespect. And now I just laugh. 488 00:29:26,860 --> 00:29:31,060 I just like giggle behind the scenes and having that shift of 489 00:29:31,060 --> 00:29:35,100 energy and the way that I respond also changes how my 490 00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:39,300 bosses respond inside of things. And it makes, you know, my both 491 00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:42,600 bosses know that, like, I can handle it because even if I'm 492 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,440 annoyed, it's not going to ruin my day. 493 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,640 Whereas before it probably made them feel on edge of like, oh 494 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,960 shit, they're going to talk to Diana this way and we have to 495 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,760 let go in there. And you know what I mean. 496 00:29:55,760 --> 00:30:01,560 I personally feel like men have so many limitations within their 497 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:06,080 emotional system because men have been taught to suppress 498 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,560 emotion that vulnerability means. 499 00:30:10,670 --> 00:30:16,230 Weakness or that showing emotion means that you're not manly or 500 00:30:16,230 --> 00:30:21,790 that you're not a leader. But The thing is, I personally 501 00:30:21,790 --> 00:30:26,350 love a well-rounded person that can be like I overreacted, that 502 00:30:26,350 --> 00:30:29,830 can address things in a calm manner, Like even like what? 503 00:30:29,830 --> 00:30:33,550 Like a sensitive manner be sensitive to the other person. 504 00:30:33,550 --> 00:30:36,920 Like. The person on the phone didn't 505 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,760 miss the appointment, you know what I mean? 506 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:42,920 Like, I didn't create the issue. I'm just withholding policies 507 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,000 and boundaries. So that's where I feel like a 508 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:50,600 lot of men and women have an unemotionally balanced 509 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:56,400 connection where they're not being seen or heard in all 510 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,560 aspects. I don't want someone who. 511 00:30:59,940 --> 00:31:01,420 Is puppies and rainbows all the time. 512 00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:04,340 I don't want someone who's overly positive, but I don't 513 00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:06,100 want someone who's just constantly. 514 00:31:06,340 --> 00:31:07,740 This is the worst day of my life. 515 00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:10,420 I can't believe this is happening. 516 00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:13,940 My cats have the zoomies and they are just running back and 517 00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:15,820 forth. I'm trying to like, not be 518 00:31:15,820 --> 00:31:19,740 distracted by them. But whenever I say this, we are 519 00:31:19,740 --> 00:31:22,940 living in a very unemotionally imbalanced world. 520 00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:26,180 The Goddess, the divine feminine, has been suppressed 521 00:31:26,180 --> 00:31:29,600 for fucking centuries. Thousands of years. 522 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:34,320 And they lead us to believe that all of this is outside of us, 523 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,200 that you have to put your trust in God or authority or the 524 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,200 government or all of these units. 525 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:44,080 But. They truly fear people being in 526 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,280 their sovereign and balanced power. 527 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:52,680 That is why men stay very off balance and women can be overly 528 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,960 compensating with emotionally charged feelings because they're 529 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,720 not being validated within connections, family units, 530 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,360 relationships, or whatever. And I personally feel like the 531 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:09,080 more that I have softened my energy, the more protected than 532 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,360 I truly am. I don't need to. 533 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,960 Be aggressive and assertive all the time. 534 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:18,200 And I don't need to be emotionally driven all of the 535 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:23,240 time, but there is a need for both within a balanced system 536 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,720 and I personally love a man who's in touch with his inner 537 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,360 feminine. A man that doesn't feel like 538 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:34,120 ashamed to show emotion. But in this world, the way that 539 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,920 they're brainwashing everyone, they're so absent of their true 540 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,360 feelings. That their emotions are wrapped 541 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:45,280 up in money or in their finances in a way that charges them and 542 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,640 makes them angry. So like a cancellation fee could 543 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:53,160 really just derail someone's entire day because they didn't 544 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,440 have any accountability and they thought there would be no 545 00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,120 consequences or repercussions for that lack of accountability. 546 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:05,200 I agree. And also people can make excuses 547 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:11,070 inside of their mind and not not be okay with being frustrated 548 00:33:11,070 --> 00:33:13,990 with themselves. And I think that's a big part of 549 00:33:14,230 --> 00:33:17,350 not having emotional responsibility, not being able 550 00:33:17,350 --> 00:33:21,590 to self reflect and be like oh, it's actually my fault that I 551 00:33:21,590 --> 00:33:24,670 double booked and has nothing to do with. 552 00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:28,350 It's not the office's fault that my schedule is double booked and 553 00:33:28,350 --> 00:33:33,030 I can't make it so the conversation then isn't well I'm 554 00:33:33,030 --> 00:33:34,710 not coming because I'm double booked. 555 00:33:34,710 --> 00:33:37,270 So you guys are going to need to figure it out, but I'm not 556 00:33:37,350 --> 00:33:40,670 paying for it and instead being like shit. 557 00:33:40,670 --> 00:33:43,550 I made a mistake. I double booked myself. 558 00:33:43,550 --> 00:33:45,310 There's no way that I need to go there. 559 00:33:45,470 --> 00:33:47,830 I can't really afford a cancellation right now. 560 00:33:47,830 --> 00:33:50,070 Like is there a way, you know you can work with me? 561 00:33:50,270 --> 00:33:53,030 There's A and and people are willing to have different 562 00:33:53,030 --> 00:33:57,230 conversations with you and have a different response when you're 563 00:33:57,230 --> 00:34:03,090 not going into it with like an entitled, like an entitled 564 00:34:03,090 --> 00:34:06,450 narrative. And we can do that in a bunch of 565 00:34:06,450 --> 00:34:07,810 different. We can do that inside of 566 00:34:07,810 --> 00:34:11,530 relationships and all different stuff without recognizing it and 567 00:34:11,530 --> 00:34:13,690 going in with like, well, this is how I'm feeling. 568 00:34:13,690 --> 00:34:16,810 Well, there's another person who has their own perspective too, 569 00:34:17,090 --> 00:34:20,090 and you have to figure out how to communicate and take self 570 00:34:20,090 --> 00:34:23,370 accountability for what you're feeling and also see the other 571 00:34:23,370 --> 00:34:27,409 person side. My favorite thing is that. 572 00:34:27,810 --> 00:34:31,409 There is a totally different version of you in every person's 573 00:34:31,409 --> 00:34:35,409 head that you've ever met. And the version that you see in 574 00:34:35,409 --> 00:34:39,010 the version that you are is totally different than every 575 00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:41,130 single person that you've ever came across. 576 00:34:41,489 --> 00:34:45,449 You know, there could be plenty of people that truly support you 577 00:34:45,449 --> 00:34:49,290 that would never have the vulnerability to express that. 578 00:34:49,770 --> 00:34:52,690 I will have a client book of reading and they're like. 579 00:34:53,270 --> 00:34:57,310 I've been watching your social media for a long time and I've 580 00:34:57,310 --> 00:35:00,630 been watching how you move. I've been building trust and 581 00:35:00,630 --> 00:35:03,390 faith in you before investing in you. 582 00:35:03,950 --> 00:35:08,070 Or I've heard like I've been burned by other readers or I've 583 00:35:08,070 --> 00:35:10,630 had other practitioners tell me XYZ. 584 00:35:10,990 --> 00:35:14,550 And so watching you and learning how you move has taught me a lot 585 00:35:14,950 --> 00:35:16,730 about like. Why? 586 00:35:16,730 --> 00:35:19,850 I should have trusted my intuition in the 1st place and 587 00:35:19,850 --> 00:35:22,290 not spent money with that person. 588 00:35:22,650 --> 00:35:27,770 But the entitlement and the lack of accountability will always be 589 00:35:27,770 --> 00:35:31,210 a major red flag in unregulated emotions. 590 00:35:31,490 --> 00:35:34,890 And I just don't have time for people who can't regulate very 591 00:35:34,890 --> 00:35:41,170 simple emotions like anger or uncertainty or whatever. 592 00:35:41,790 --> 00:35:45,270 All of these feelings are very natural in this human world and 593 00:35:45,270 --> 00:35:49,750 we came here to be emotional beings who are well-rounded and 594 00:35:49,750 --> 00:35:53,470 well versed in tragedy or in victory. 595 00:35:53,710 --> 00:35:56,510 And The thing is that some people get attached to a certain 596 00:35:56,510 --> 00:35:59,070 way and they're like, well, this is my life and this is how it 597 00:35:59,070 --> 00:36:01,910 will always be. And that annoys the shit out of 598 00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:05,230 me because point blank period. Just because that's how it's 599 00:36:05,230 --> 00:36:07,670 always been, or that's how you were raised or that's what 600 00:36:07,670 --> 00:36:10,310 you've been around, doesn't mean that that's your whole life, 601 00:36:10,590 --> 00:36:12,790 doesn't mean that everything. Was set in stone. 602 00:36:12,990 --> 00:36:17,310 It means that you need to push the envelope to become a better, 603 00:36:17,310 --> 00:36:19,270 more elevated version of yourself. 604 00:36:19,270 --> 00:36:24,230 Who is working with the wisdom and utilizing that wisdom to 605 00:36:24,230 --> 00:36:28,110 create clarity. I have no sympathy for people 606 00:36:28,430 --> 00:36:31,910 who get one reading and expect their life to change. 607 00:36:31,910 --> 00:36:34,910 But they did not meditate. They did not start journaling. 608 00:36:35,150 --> 00:36:38,910 The reading told them to cut off the toxic relationship, so they 609 00:36:38,910 --> 00:36:42,410 decided to marry the person. And bind themselves to that 610 00:36:42,410 --> 00:36:44,050 person. You know, I just don't have 611 00:36:44,050 --> 00:36:48,850 respect for people who point the finger everywhere else but never 612 00:36:48,850 --> 00:36:57,930 shine the flashlight inward. Speaking of like, I don't know. 613 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,120 I don't know what you said that made me think of this, but I 614 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,840 recently was having conversation with somebody that I was having 615 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:11,440 to explain how when you have sex with somebody, you're having an 616 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:16,520 energetic, like contract with that person and you are 617 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:21,840 exchanging energy with them and she and like creating a bond. 618 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,320 And she had never heard that before. 619 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:26,840 And she gave me permission to talk about. 620 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:35,760 It was like if you sleep with somebody that you do not fucking 621 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:40,160 like at all and they don't treat you with respect and you're 622 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,960 constantly walking away saying, I don't know how they feel, 623 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,920 well, I don't know how I feel well, I don't know if we like 624 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:45,920 each other. Whatever. 625 00:37:46,580 --> 00:37:51,100 You are telling the universe that you are okay with those 626 00:37:51,100 --> 00:37:54,620 types of interactions and those types of connections. 627 00:37:54,860 --> 00:37:57,980 And so you end up seeking those same things out. 628 00:37:58,060 --> 00:38:01,500 And then you're also trying to have your healing journey and 629 00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:04,020 your shadow working and you're like, but how come I'm not 630 00:38:04,020 --> 00:38:07,820 getting over, you know, not feeling enough as a kid and 631 00:38:07,820 --> 00:38:10,060 whatever, and it's because you're putting yourself in the 632 00:38:10,060 --> 00:38:13,660 same situations. So while you were talking about 633 00:38:14,390 --> 00:38:17,030 like the healing journey and whatnot and we're talking about 634 00:38:17,030 --> 00:38:22,390 like selfreflection, I just wanted to point out that we can 635 00:38:22,590 --> 00:38:25,830 not understand why. Where you can call it shadow 636 00:38:25,830 --> 00:38:28,550 workings, you can call it healing in our traumas, you can 637 00:38:28,790 --> 00:38:34,470 whatever it is self analyzing. But what you're doing now in 638 00:38:34,470 --> 00:38:38,230 your actual life and the the interactions that you're okay 639 00:38:38,230 --> 00:38:42,030 with having with other people, a lot of times they're stemming 640 00:38:42,030 --> 00:38:44,830 from a way that you processed as a kid, or you were treated as a 641 00:38:44,830 --> 00:38:48,710 kid, or you look for validation, or you were never heard and you 642 00:38:48,710 --> 00:38:51,430 were never used to being heard. And so now you're going to find 643 00:38:51,430 --> 00:38:56,510 partners who don't hear you. And we don't necessarily think 644 00:38:56,510 --> 00:38:58,470 about our healing journey in that way. 645 00:38:58,470 --> 00:39:01,030 And we don't understand why we're having to do that 646 00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:03,470 selfreflection. And we're like, none of that 647 00:39:03,470 --> 00:39:05,870 shit bothers me anymore. Like, I healed from my dad 648 00:39:05,870 --> 00:39:07,430 leaving. Like it doesn't even bug me 649 00:39:07,430 --> 00:39:08,790 anymore. OK, cool. 650 00:39:08,790 --> 00:39:11,630 Like, you may not care in your heart that your dad left you, 651 00:39:11,910 --> 00:39:16,470 but you are still going to have of like codependency maybe and a 652 00:39:16,470 --> 00:39:20,310 fear of people leaving you. And so you overcompensate and 653 00:39:20,310 --> 00:39:22,830 you give things of yourself that you don't want to because you 654 00:39:22,830 --> 00:39:27,510 just want people to stay. And so on that healing journey, 655 00:39:27,510 --> 00:39:32,510 we talk a lot about boundaries and things, but I think that and 656 00:39:32,550 --> 00:39:35,790 other people and how other people don't selfprocess. 657 00:39:35,990 --> 00:39:39,830 But I think that it's really important that we also discuss 658 00:39:39,830 --> 00:39:44,560 like how to self process for people who don't know, because 659 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:49,280 people may listen and be like well I react that way or I 660 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,880 respond that way and feel a certain way and not know how to 661 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:56,600 change it. I think that really writing out 662 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,760 all of your limiting beliefs throughout your life like. 663 00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:03,340 I don't feel like I'm pretty enough, or I don't feel like I'm 664 00:40:03,460 --> 00:40:06,660 smart enough, or tall enough or skinny enough, or like all of 665 00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:10,500 these limiting beliefs about yourself worth about your 666 00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:15,260 character, about who you are as a person writing that out and 667 00:40:15,260 --> 00:40:18,020 then asking yourself, Who told me this? 668 00:40:18,580 --> 00:40:21,300 Who told me that? Who Where is my first core 669 00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:23,460 memory that I'm not skinny enough? 670 00:40:23,460 --> 00:40:26,220 Was it 5th grade? Somebody said something to you 671 00:40:26,220 --> 00:40:30,500 or gym class in 8th grade? Or was it your parents or your 672 00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:33,380 sister or your brother or a partner? 673 00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:37,020 You know, a lot of these belief systems that we hold as truth 674 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:41,480 were just projected onto us. And so my favorite thing to 675 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:45,640 really uncover limiting beliefs is to ask myself who told me 676 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,200 this and why do I feel like this is true? 677 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,200 And once you start going through that list, you will start seeing 678 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:56,200 that like 45% of these things on this list are bullshit. 679 00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:58,280 Just from the jump you can just see that. 680 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:03,200 Then we have the other 55 Okay. I truly feel that I don't feel 681 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:07,840 good enough in my own body. Well then you want to ask 682 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,920 yourself, well what am I doing to change that? 683 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,200 What am I doing to personally change that? 684 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,520 And I'm not saying like go get a surgery or jump in the gym or 685 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:19,160 XYZ, but what am I doing to change that? 686 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,720 And you're like, well, every morning I drink 3 Mountain Dews 687 00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:25,840 on the way to work and then I get to work and I eat Jersey 688 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,800 Mike's because it's next door. And then I come home and I don't 689 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,470 do anything with myself. And I'm not being condescending. 690 00:41:33,590 --> 00:41:36,830 I'm being honest. Like your life choices from the 691 00:41:36,830 --> 00:41:41,270 moment you woke up are adding to your unhappiness, especially 692 00:41:41,270 --> 00:41:44,750 since there's a lot of colors and dyes and artificial 693 00:41:44,750 --> 00:41:47,670 flavorings that actually depress you. 694 00:41:48,070 --> 00:41:51,870 And I know this chart has been circling around about like Red 695 00:41:51,870 --> 00:41:56,350 40 and how when people removed Red 40 from their child's diet 696 00:41:56,860 --> 00:42:01,460 that a lot of the symptoms of even like a DHD and autism and 697 00:42:01,460 --> 00:42:04,220 different things started to improve. 698 00:42:04,540 --> 00:42:08,500 And where their child wasn't understanding or was acting out 699 00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:12,500 with anger or extreme emotion, it changed. 700 00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:17,700 Not saying that it cures autism or a DHD, but what I'm saying is 701 00:42:18,260 --> 00:42:21,940 20,000 years ago none of this shit existed and guess what also 702 00:42:21,940 --> 00:42:25,900 didn't exist? Diabetes, Cancer, XYZ. 703 00:42:26,180 --> 00:42:30,780 And it's just the facts that a society is easier controlled if 704 00:42:30,780 --> 00:42:36,140 they are depressed, angry and sad, period. 705 00:42:36,540 --> 00:42:39,900 You are easier to manipulate. You buy things that you don't 706 00:42:39,900 --> 00:42:41,740 need. You do things that you don't 707 00:42:41,740 --> 00:42:43,780 like. You surround yourself with 708 00:42:43,780 --> 00:42:46,420 people who don't see you and who don't support you. 709 00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:49,340 So when we get down to these core beliefs, you're going to 710 00:42:49,340 --> 00:42:53,050 find it Probably 45 to 50% is just straight bullshit, and then 711 00:42:53,050 --> 00:42:57,970 the other 50% you are playing a role in your own suffering. 712 00:42:58,290 --> 00:43:02,130 And I believe that five years ago when I really decided to 713 00:43:02,130 --> 00:43:06,090 start making life changes, the only reason I did that is 714 00:43:06,090 --> 00:43:08,850 because I was tired of my own shit. 715 00:43:09,090 --> 00:43:12,770 I was tired of sleeping with people who I didn't really like, 716 00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:16,810 dating, people who manipulated me going to family events to 717 00:43:16,810 --> 00:43:20,020 just be judged and ridiculed XYZ. 718 00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:22,620 And once I was tired of my own shit. 719 00:43:22,820 --> 00:43:25,220 That's whenever accountability stepped in. 720 00:43:25,420 --> 00:43:28,700 Well, I'm making these choices. I'm answering the phone when 721 00:43:28,700 --> 00:43:32,580 they call, I'm showing up like I'm invited or XYZ. 722 00:43:32,820 --> 00:43:35,500 And I love using XYZ because this is a whole spectrum. 723 00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:39,120 You know what you're tired of. You know why you're unhappy and 724 00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:40,760 you know what to do to change it. 725 00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,600 And don't even say the government upsets me or my job 726 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,960 or my finances, because all of that is a reflection of how you 727 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,200 feel within. If you don't feel good enough, 728 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,920 you're going to go to work and that's going to be reinforced. 729 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,960 If you don't feel abundant or, you know, seen, that's going to 730 00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,160 be reflected in your finances. If you're emotionally charged by 731 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,320 the government, that's going to be the reflection of your lack 732 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,480 of selfcontrol. You can't blame everyone for 733 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,760 everything all the time. You have to take accountability, 734 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,920 and the moment that you're tired of your own shit is the moment 735 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:16,240 that the lights come on and there's some type of salvation 736 00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:19,360 on the other side. Quit putting your power into a 737 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:24,120 partner, or a mom, or a dad, or the lack of because that's where 738 00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,920 you are allowing something outside of you to drain the 739 00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:34,060 light that is within you. Thank you for coming to Polly's 740 00:44:34,060 --> 00:44:37,660 Ted Talk. I really wanted you all to know 741 00:44:37,660 --> 00:44:42,980 that, like, it is possible to be tired of your own shit and still 742 00:44:42,980 --> 00:44:46,700 be positive and push through. Because a lot of the programs 743 00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:51,140 that we have are taught to us, and I love whenever I have some 744 00:44:51,140 --> 00:44:54,300 limited belief that'll come up, I'm always like, who told me 745 00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:55,700 that? Where does that come from? 746 00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:59,180 My favorite is like we'll never be able to do. 747 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,880 We'll never be able to buy a house or pay our student loans. 748 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,080 Those are programs that my generation is just attached to, 749 00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:08,520 and you want to blame the generations for you. 750 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,680 But guess what, baby? While you were out on spring 751 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:15,400 break, other people were learning a trade or investing in 752 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,080 their skills, or while you were getting fucked up every weekend, 753 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,400 other people were going to school at night and raising a 754 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,400 kid and being different. And I don't want to hear shit 755 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,320 about it. I don't have sympathy for people 756 00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:30,320 who don't make lifestyle changes and jurastic ones. 757 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,440 Because if you're that miserable, that's a reflection 758 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,600 of your own energy. It's not the government, it's 759 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,480 not your bank account. It's not your job. 760 00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:40,360 It's none of that. When you decide your worth, the 761 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,560 universe responds to that. When you set your boundaries and 762 00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:47,640 your unwavering intentions, like for me, if it disrupts my piece, 763 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:48,640 it's gone. I don't care. 764 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,680 If I like you, I don't care. Who you are. 765 00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,440 I I do not care. And I'm willing to cut my own 766 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,560 mother off in that sense. And guess what? 767 00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:59,080 Now my mom acts right because she knows I'm not dealing with 768 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:00,950 her shit. You're not going to project your 769 00:46:00,950 --> 00:46:04,030 unhealed BS on me like you did when I was a kid. 770 00:46:04,350 --> 00:46:07,390 I am my own person. I set my own rules. 771 00:46:07,630 --> 00:46:10,840 I ride my own wave. And honestly, I'm kind of 772 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,560 thankful for the government, because a lot of you all need to 773 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:17,840 realize that it's not them. It's our lack of accountability 774 00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:22,080 with voting, with rallying, with protesting, with doing things 775 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,200 that matter and spending our time making a difference. 776 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,080 The only difference between us and the people that were born in 777 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:32,400 the 50s, sixties, 70s and 80s is they actually voted and knew 778 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:35,280 what was going on a little bit. Maybe they weren't super smart, 779 00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:39,080 but they knew what the heck was going on and we don't, and that 780 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,720 that is by design. They wanted us to be brainwashed 781 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:47,480 and depressed, which has developed a lot of offset 782 00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:51,120 diseases that I don't believe were natural to humans. 783 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,760 I believe they're natural to the reality that we've agreed to. 784 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,100 I agree and. Okay. 785 00:46:59,100 --> 00:47:04,180 So going back to discussing like Red 40 and and foods and things 786 00:47:04,180 --> 00:47:07,940 like that and and linking that with ADHD and whatever. 787 00:47:07,940 --> 00:47:18,060 So my son is he's, he has ADHD and to the point that we had to 788 00:47:18,380 --> 00:47:23,860 medicate him because he's not able to focus at school and like 789 00:47:23,860 --> 00:47:26,140 it. It's it's been a really 790 00:47:26,140 --> 00:47:31,340 difficult thing for him and. Something that we've done is 791 00:47:31,340 --> 00:47:36,460 we've also limited his diet. So we've taken out him having 792 00:47:36,460 --> 00:47:39,060 sugar, him having dyes and things like that. 793 00:47:39,460 --> 00:47:44,980 And So what I want to say is there's a difference between 794 00:47:45,340 --> 00:47:49,740 when you take something out of somebody's diet and it. 795 00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:52,900 I work for a nutritionist, so I'm trying to figure out how to 796 00:47:53,100 --> 00:47:55,820 how to educatedly say what I'm trying to say. 797 00:47:56,260 --> 00:47:59,430 There's a difference between. When you're removing something 798 00:47:59,430 --> 00:48:04,550 from somebody's diet and there is an immediate difference 799 00:48:04,790 --> 00:48:07,910 versus, it completely changes their diagnosis. 800 00:48:07,910 --> 00:48:13,310 So for instance, like he is extremely different if he has 801 00:48:13,310 --> 00:48:15,590 sugar and dies, you can tell like. 802 00:48:16,370 --> 00:48:22,210 Wow, what the fuck is going on? And like the medication isn't 803 00:48:22,210 --> 00:48:25,770 going to work and there is no, like, rational talking through 804 00:48:25,770 --> 00:48:27,570 things. There is no being able to slow 805 00:48:27,570 --> 00:48:30,370 yourself down. And so I think that a lot of 806 00:48:30,370 --> 00:48:35,570 people, they don't remove things out of their lifestyle and 807 00:48:35,570 --> 00:48:38,930 they're just doing like the pharmaceutical cure for things. 808 00:48:38,930 --> 00:48:44,250 I have depression and so well. I stopped, you know, eating this 809 00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:47,210 over here, but like, I'm still depressed, Okay. 810 00:48:47,210 --> 00:48:49,970 But when you were eating those things or had those things in 811 00:48:49,970 --> 00:48:52,850 your diet, that medication wasn't working for you at all. 812 00:48:53,050 --> 00:48:56,450 And there was a hopelessness. And so I. 813 00:48:56,930 --> 00:49:00,090 Want people to like mental health wise. 814 00:49:00,090 --> 00:49:03,050 Like do what you have to do on the end of. 815 00:49:03,050 --> 00:49:05,890 Like if you do need to have a medication and it's not just a 816 00:49:05,890 --> 00:49:09,370 lifestyle change, but also understanding that you can't 817 00:49:09,370 --> 00:49:12,970 have a quote UN quote like crutch for something or 818 00:49:12,970 --> 00:49:17,210 something to ease something and expecting that to be the only 819 00:49:17,210 --> 00:49:18,960 thing. That works. 820 00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:23,120 It's the same thing as like if you are somebody who is a little 821 00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,600 thicker and you decide like, oh, I want to go and do gastric 822 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:30,840 bypass surgery, okay, cool. That's what you're using to help 823 00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:32,480 you. But you have to make a complete 824 00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:36,680 lifestyle change. And since we have done that, and 825 00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:39,600 it's been a conscious thing of, I mean, I'm talking like. 826 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,040 We've noticed how much sugar is in all kinds of things that, 827 00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,480 like, people think is totally great for their kids. 828 00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:49,040 Like Jelly. You would think, OK, well, Jelly 829 00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,600 is just fruit. No, actually, if you look at 830 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,560 most jellies, like Jelly from Costco, the first ingredient is 831 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,200 sugar and the 2nd ingredient is sugar. 832 00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:00,440 They're two different types of sugars on top of the natural 833 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,520 sugars that are inside of the fruit. 834 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,720 And so you know, I see videos now of. 835 00:50:07,350 --> 00:50:11,230 On my TikTok of people making their kids lunches now that it's 836 00:50:11,230 --> 00:50:14,310 time back to school. And the algorithm is like, we 837 00:50:14,310 --> 00:50:17,270 want you to feed your kid all that sugary shit that you're 838 00:50:17,270 --> 00:50:19,670 trying not to. And so it's all these people 839 00:50:19,670 --> 00:50:23,190 saying like, it's okay for you to pack a yummy snack to reward 840 00:50:23,190 --> 00:50:25,830 your kid at school. And you know, don't listen to 841 00:50:25,830 --> 00:50:28,550 that and you can do this and that and I would never tell 842 00:50:28,550 --> 00:50:32,070 another parent what they should do, but. 843 00:50:32,710 --> 00:50:36,190 I do think that when you say things like, well, don't worry 844 00:50:36,190 --> 00:50:38,110 about it, you should just do it anyways. 845 00:50:38,110 --> 00:50:43,230 And you know, whatever. It makes a lot of people who are 846 00:50:43,230 --> 00:50:46,590 uncertain about their decisions for their kids feel like, well, 847 00:50:46,590 --> 00:50:49,390 fuck, maybe I'm making the wrong decision, then maybe I should be 848 00:50:49,390 --> 00:50:51,670 doing this over here. So I don't think that 849 00:50:51,670 --> 00:50:54,580 everybody's kid should be. Sugar free. 850 00:50:54,580 --> 00:50:56,260 Whatever. If that's what you decide that 851 00:50:56,420 --> 00:50:58,180 you know you don't care for your kid. 852 00:50:58,980 --> 00:51:00,540 But I do think that people should. 853 00:51:00,580 --> 00:51:04,060 You should at least pay attention and make the conscious 854 00:51:04,060 --> 00:51:07,500 choice of I'm giving them a peanut butter and Jelly today, 855 00:51:07,500 --> 00:51:13,220 knowing that this Jelly is 24% of an adult's sugar intake for 856 00:51:13,220 --> 00:51:16,700 the day. The craziest thing? 857 00:51:16,820 --> 00:51:21,530 I recently got a bunch of blood work done, and the really cool 858 00:51:21,530 --> 00:51:24,650 thing is it says my health age is 27. 859 00:51:24,650 --> 00:51:27,450 So I'm like, yeah baby, I'm going backwards, I'm getting 860 00:51:27,450 --> 00:51:30,250 healthy. But they wanted to talk to me 861 00:51:30,290 --> 00:51:37,130 about my sugar because it's drastically low compared to what 862 00:51:37,130 --> 00:51:40,010 I should have. And I never thought that a 863 00:51:40,010 --> 00:51:44,010 doctor would tell me that I should wake up and eat something 864 00:51:44,010 --> 00:51:46,210 sweet. Like she's like, you should 865 00:51:46,210 --> 00:51:50,360 start your day with sugar. And I'm like, I thought sugar 866 00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:54,680 wasn't good for you. And she's like, well, yours is 867 00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:58,280 low and low sugar isn't good for you either. 868 00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:03,360 And I'm like, I've eliminated a lot of, like, sugary drinks. 869 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,560 Like, I used to love body armors. 870 00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,760 And I would drink them like nonstop, but they're full of 871 00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:10,790 sugar. Same thing with like orange 872 00:52:10,790 --> 00:52:12,990 juice or apple juice or any of those things. 873 00:52:12,990 --> 00:52:16,750 They're so much full of sugar. And I started watching where, 874 00:52:16,750 --> 00:52:21,190 like, independent labs were testing different juices and 875 00:52:21,190 --> 00:52:24,750 things. And there's like rat feces in it 876 00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:26,870 and like arsenic and just random things. 877 00:52:26,870 --> 00:52:30,630 It's like, even though it's just less than a percentage, it's in 878 00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:33,550 there. And I started to cut out a lot 879 00:52:33,550 --> 00:52:37,520 of those processed juices, especially like, Simply 880 00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:40,680 lemonade. I love simply lemonade until I 881 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:44,160 saw that they have some crazy chemical in there that like, 882 00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:47,960 shouldn't really be in there. So I just cut all of those out. 883 00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:52,280 And she was like, well, do you wake up dizzy? 884 00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,520 And I'm like, if I wake up before 8:00 AM, I'm dizzy for 885 00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:57,000 sure. And that's just because my 886 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,680 body's not ready for the world at that point. 887 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,000 Like, I'm ready for the astral at that time. 888 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:05,570 So she was like, well, if you find yourself getting dizzy in 889 00:53:05,570 --> 00:53:07,690 the morning, it's because you need to eat something sweet. 890 00:53:08,050 --> 00:53:10,090 And I'm just still not listening to her. 891 00:53:10,210 --> 00:53:11,930 Period. I'm not going to start my day 892 00:53:11,930 --> 00:53:15,010 with orange juice and Donuts because you want me to be 893 00:53:15,010 --> 00:53:18,450 unhealthy, you want me to move forward in age, and my body is 894 00:53:18,450 --> 00:53:22,370 literally reversing. And just for anyone listening, I 895 00:53:22,370 --> 00:53:28,260 know from the experience between the ages of 23 and 25, not only 896 00:53:28,260 --> 00:53:31,300 was I doing like, street drugs, like pills and things like that, 897 00:53:31,300 --> 00:53:35,380 but I was on a lot of medications for a bunch of, 898 00:53:35,380 --> 00:53:38,580 like, stomach issues. Like they could never figure out 899 00:53:38,580 --> 00:53:40,580 what it was. They injected dye. 900 00:53:40,860 --> 00:53:43,620 They did all those things like they would try to say that it 901 00:53:43,620 --> 00:53:46,900 was one thing and then it, like, would completely change to 902 00:53:46,900 --> 00:53:51,140 something different. At one point I was on about 12 903 00:53:51,300 --> 00:53:54,650 prescription medicines. Starting in the morning, I would 904 00:53:54,650 --> 00:53:57,570 take 4 pills midday. I had two more. 905 00:53:57,770 --> 00:54:01,810 If I would eat anything out of the realm of like a bland diet, 906 00:54:01,810 --> 00:54:05,650 I had to take a pill before. Then I had an emergency pill for 907 00:54:05,650 --> 00:54:07,410 when my stomach would really act up. 908 00:54:07,490 --> 00:54:09,930 And I mean, there were times that I was like in the fetal 909 00:54:09,930 --> 00:54:13,410 position, could not move or like leave my house. 910 00:54:13,410 --> 00:54:18,860 I was in so much pain and I know for a fact it was from all of 911 00:54:18,860 --> 00:54:21,660 that sexual energy exchange with crappy ass people. 912 00:54:21,900 --> 00:54:23,900 It was the environments I was in. 913 00:54:23,900 --> 00:54:27,140 It was the things I would say to myself, how I would speak to 914 00:54:27,140 --> 00:54:30,460 myself. And all of that manifested 915 00:54:30,820 --> 00:54:34,420 stomach issues, which is your intuition like your sacral and 916 00:54:34,420 --> 00:54:38,690 solar plexus chakra being blocked could cause, you know, 917 00:54:38,690 --> 00:54:41,530 gastritis and I BS and those types of things. 918 00:54:41,810 --> 00:54:45,890 So the crazy thing is, is really unlocking my power. 919 00:54:46,130 --> 00:54:50,210 Reverse all of these medical diagnosis that I had consented 920 00:54:50,210 --> 00:54:52,370 to. I was even on depression 921 00:54:52,370 --> 00:54:54,970 medicines. I was on a Sleep Medicine. 922 00:54:55,330 --> 00:55:00,410 Now I sleep like a fucking rock because I have aligned my energy 923 00:55:00,570 --> 00:55:06,540 with peace and harmony and rest. Where I felt like in college I 924 00:55:06,540 --> 00:55:10,180 had to do Adderall and all these things just to stay afloat just 925 00:55:10,180 --> 00:55:13,180 to get to class and go to my full time job and go to my 926 00:55:13,180 --> 00:55:16,980 student work job. I had two jobs and full time 18 927 00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:19,500 hours. That was so much pressure on me 928 00:55:19,740 --> 00:55:22,140 to withhold that without any parental support. 929 00:55:22,180 --> 00:55:25,300 I bought all of my own books, barely had a car, lived at my 930 00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:29,440 grandma's like, struggled. But combine that with street 931 00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:33,560 drugs, smoking cigarettes, doing alcohol, all of those things 932 00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,680 like, I manifested that sickness. 933 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,640 And then at 26, when my spiritual awakening cranked into 934 00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:44,560 the next level, I completely went like cold Turkey on the 935 00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:46,800 depression medicines, the sleep medicines. 936 00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:52,000 And then periodically through that next year got off all 12 to 937 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:57,740 14 prescriptions that I was on and then like really elevated my 938 00:55:57,740 --> 00:56:01,380 energy into the next level. We're around like 2728. 939 00:56:01,380 --> 00:56:04,460 I got completely off birth control after being on that 940 00:56:04,460 --> 00:56:08,980 since I was like 1415 years old, and I just realized how much 941 00:56:09,260 --> 00:56:14,280 power I had given outside of me that really was making me sick 942 00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,760 and miserable. And if I would have stayed in 943 00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:20,560 that energy and stayed consenting to that bullshit, I 944 00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,480 would not be healthy right now at all. 945 00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,320 So the fact that now the doctor's like, you really should 946 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:30,280 have some sugar, drink a Coke, where's your Mountain Dew now? 947 00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:33,400 I'm like, it's working. Like it's fucking working. 948 00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:42,590 I would say that if. You do feel like you need like a 949 00:56:42,830 --> 00:56:47,550 sugar or whatever they have. Like definitely don't start your 950 00:56:47,550 --> 00:56:49,710 morning out with like Donuts and a fucking Coke. 951 00:56:50,030 --> 00:56:56,550 But something that I do is I find for me that even sometimes 952 00:56:56,710 --> 00:56:59,550 my protein, because my protein powder has a little bit of sugar 953 00:56:59,550 --> 00:57:03,190 in it, sometimes in the morning that's even like, holy fuck 954 00:57:03,190 --> 00:57:06,150 that's a lot of sugar. But even if you did like. 955 00:57:06,660 --> 00:57:09,860 Protein shake like inside of a smoothie or something like that 956 00:57:09,860 --> 00:57:13,540 in the morning that has like a sugar that your body's actually 957 00:57:13,540 --> 00:57:17,580 going to do something with that may be helpful for you. 958 00:57:18,380 --> 00:57:22,180 And I only am like saying that because I think that a lot of 959 00:57:22,180 --> 00:57:26,100 times doctors say things and then they don't actually like 960 00:57:26,100 --> 00:57:28,540 give any type of example of like. 961 00:57:29,020 --> 00:57:30,980 This would be a healthy option for you. 962 00:57:31,380 --> 00:57:34,380 And so for you, you're probably like, I'll figure, like you 963 00:57:34,380 --> 00:57:37,180 would figure it out, but for somebody else, they're going to 964 00:57:37,180 --> 00:57:40,180 hear that and be like, Nope, I have to go. 965 00:57:40,180 --> 00:57:42,980 I have to have pancakes this morning because my doctor, 966 00:57:43,580 --> 00:57:46,860 doctor recommended that I start my morning out with, you know, 967 00:57:46,860 --> 00:57:54,540 some sugar. I was on medication a lot for my 968 00:57:54,540 --> 00:57:57,340 mental health when I became an adult. 969 00:57:57,460 --> 00:58:02,000 And then? I got off of that medication and 970 00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,520 then got diagnosed with my brain disease and was taking a 971 00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:10,360 medication for that and I had to make a choice of like are the 972 00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:14,240 side effects that come with medication really were mental 973 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:17,320 health side effects, physical side effects, whatever that come 974 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:22,240 along with medication something that like I want to deal with or 975 00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:25,910 would I rather just. Like work on healing it 976 00:58:25,910 --> 00:58:28,990 naturally and whatever. And I have found that for 977 00:58:28,990 --> 00:58:34,790 myself, that medication that I was on, it didn't do anything 978 00:58:34,790 --> 00:58:39,670 that I was able to recognize positively, like I don't have. 979 00:58:39,990 --> 00:58:44,280 It didn't help me with my pain. It didn't help me with like 980 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:48,600 controlling any of my symptoms, but it made me feel this is the 981 00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:52,800 medication that I was on when I had that death experience right 982 00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:55,240 before I had my reading with you for the first time. 983 00:58:55,720 --> 00:59:00,280 And that was a direct correlation of a side effect of 984 00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:06,980 that medication and. I have just found that I'm able 985 00:59:06,980 --> 00:59:12,100 to listen to my intuition and my body better. 986 00:59:12,380 --> 00:59:17,540 Not taking something because I just. 987 00:59:17,580 --> 00:59:20,420 I just feel like I'm a little bit too sensitive for that and 988 00:59:20,660 --> 00:59:23,220 if I'm taking something else to drown out. 989 00:59:23,590 --> 00:59:25,790 Anything mentally, anything physically. 990 00:59:25,990 --> 00:59:29,110 Like, I don't even like to take Tylenol because I feel like I 991 00:59:29,110 --> 00:59:31,030 just feel out of tune with my body. 992 00:59:31,230 --> 00:59:35,510 If I'm taking something that is, that is altering the way that 993 00:59:35,510 --> 00:59:37,790 I'm supposed to be naturally feeling. 994 00:59:38,150 --> 00:59:42,350 And I can't tell if a natural approach that I'm having is 995 00:59:42,350 --> 00:59:46,430 working because my body is numb when I'm taking Tylenol or when 996 00:59:46,430 --> 00:59:49,110 I'm taking this crazy ass, you know, medication. 997 00:59:49,110 --> 00:59:53,130 I can't tell if. Making dyes out of my diet makes 998 00:59:53,130 --> 00:59:57,490 my brain feel better. You know, honestly, I think that 999 00:59:57,490 --> 01:00:02,570 in this society, if they keep you sick, you're constantly 1000 01:00:02,570 --> 01:00:06,850 buying supplements and medicines and really like funding the 1001 01:00:06,850 --> 01:00:11,610 Pharmaceutical industry, which is a multibillion trillion 1002 01:00:11,610 --> 01:00:15,210 dollar industry. And anytime you hear the word 1003 01:00:15,210 --> 01:00:18,930 billion or trillion, you need to think corruption. 1004 01:00:19,350 --> 01:00:23,230 And not Okay. And the problem with all of 1005 01:00:23,230 --> 01:00:27,830 these medicines being pumped into children or being exposed 1006 01:00:27,830 --> 01:00:30,390 in the home is children think that's normal. 1007 01:00:30,550 --> 01:00:34,230 When I was a kid, my mom always had pill bottles and always had 1008 01:00:34,230 --> 01:00:36,630 medicines and a lot of things going on. 1009 01:00:36,630 --> 01:00:42,790 I think, you know, I learned that through, you know, seeing 1010 01:00:42,790 --> 01:00:48,710 that in my reality and going to the doctor and complaining like 1011 01:00:49,060 --> 01:00:53,020 I have anxiety and I have these things felt very natural rather 1012 01:00:53,020 --> 01:00:55,860 than addressing what was causing anxiety. 1013 01:00:56,260 --> 01:00:58,340 You live in an environment that's unsafe. 1014 01:00:58,340 --> 01:01:01,540 You date a person who has multiple partners you don't know 1015 01:01:01,540 --> 01:01:05,060 about or whatever, Like energetically you're picking up 1016 01:01:05,060 --> 01:01:09,460 on that and you will treat yourself like a doormat if you 1017 01:01:09,460 --> 01:01:12,420 don't take control over your own energy. 1018 01:01:12,420 --> 01:01:15,420 And you will let anything and everything walk in and out and 1019 01:01:15,420 --> 01:01:19,660 over you rather than just addressing that core issue. 1020 01:01:19,940 --> 01:01:25,260 And I really liked what you said earlier about people will allow 1021 01:01:25,260 --> 01:01:28,860 certain partners to treat them a certain way and not realize that 1022 01:01:28,860 --> 01:01:32,100 they're keeping a mother or father wound active. 1023 01:01:32,500 --> 01:01:36,620 One thing I really learned during the last couple years was 1024 01:01:36,620 --> 01:01:41,660 that I had an abandonment wound which made me attached to people 1025 01:01:41,660 --> 01:01:44,380 because of longevity. Well, we've been friends our 1026 01:01:44,380 --> 01:01:48,740 whole life or I've known them forever or XYZ. 1027 01:01:48,740 --> 01:01:51,420 And longevity does not mean loyalty. 1028 01:01:51,980 --> 01:01:55,980 Someone you meet a year in could be more loyal than someone who 1029 01:01:55,980 --> 01:01:58,940 is in your life for 15 years. And I think that's what I've 1030 01:01:58,940 --> 01:02:01,940 learned with Jim and I is we don't have to spend every day 1031 01:02:01,940 --> 01:02:05,140 together for me to wholeheartedly feel like she's 1032 01:02:05,140 --> 01:02:10,380 loyal and supportive towards me. And I know a lot of time she may 1033 01:02:10,700 --> 01:02:14,420 be making a decision and I don't just run and give her my two 1034 01:02:14,420 --> 01:02:16,960 cents. Like she was going to start this 1035 01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,880 podcast with some crazy girl like 2-3 years ago. 1036 01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:24,000 And the whole time I had such a dense feeling about it. 1037 01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:27,480 But I was like, is that your abandonment wound thinking, 1038 01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:30,640 well, she starts this with her, she's leaving me behind. 1039 01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:35,840 Or is this something that is stemming from loneliness or 1040 01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:39,400 jealousy or something like that? So instead of addressing it, I 1041 01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:42,380 just let it run its course. And then it blew up and went up 1042 01:02:42,380 --> 01:02:46,100 in flames quickly before they started any project together. 1043 01:02:46,340 --> 01:02:49,180 And then afterwards she was like, well, why didn't you tell 1044 01:02:49,180 --> 01:02:51,940 me you felt like that? Because honestly, I think it was 1045 01:02:51,940 --> 01:02:55,220 a test for me to be like, is this an abandonment thing? 1046 01:02:55,220 --> 01:02:58,140 Like, do I feel like because she's starting this with that 1047 01:02:58,140 --> 01:03:01,220 person, that means that we won't be as close. 1048 01:03:01,460 --> 01:03:03,980 And at that time, we hadn't started a podcast or done 1049 01:03:03,980 --> 01:03:07,060 anything. But I felt something cultivating 1050 01:03:07,060 --> 01:03:09,780 within our friendship. And I saw that girl as a 1051 01:03:09,780 --> 01:03:14,380 distraction that was trying to, like, ride your coattail and I 1052 01:03:14,700 --> 01:03:17,340 was trying to, like, let you make your own decisions without 1053 01:03:17,340 --> 01:03:20,460 my influence. And that's what I want everyone 1054 01:03:20,460 --> 01:03:23,700 to know. Like, I can support you and 1055 01:03:23,700 --> 01:03:27,660 still not agree with everything you do, but your underlying 1056 01:03:27,660 --> 01:03:30,610 morals have to be in alignment with me. 1057 01:03:30,930 --> 01:03:33,930 I don't have to support every partner that you love or every 1058 01:03:33,930 --> 01:03:36,330 person that you're associated with. 1059 01:03:36,610 --> 01:03:40,050 But if the morals are not in alignment, that's just where I 1060 01:03:40,050 --> 01:03:43,010 let you go. I don't have any anger or 1061 01:03:43,010 --> 01:03:45,490 resentment towards you. It's just like that's where our 1062 01:03:45,490 --> 01:03:48,450 path goes at the Y and you go left and I go right. 1063 01:03:48,810 --> 01:03:53,010 I don't need to chase people. And that's what spiritually 1064 01:03:53,010 --> 01:03:56,690 awakening really has taught me, is that when you feel the need 1065 01:03:56,690 --> 01:04:00,750 to grip so tightly, you are going to get rope burn. 1066 01:04:00,950 --> 01:04:03,470 Like if you hold on to the rope too tight, it will cut you. 1067 01:04:03,910 --> 01:04:07,310 And I just feel like I would much rather let go and let 1068 01:04:07,310 --> 01:04:11,430 someone go in the direction that their heart desires, because now 1069 01:04:11,430 --> 01:04:15,950 I know what they truly want, rather than telling them what I 1070 01:04:15,950 --> 01:04:18,990 want them to do and then coercing them to do that. 1071 01:04:19,490 --> 01:04:22,170 That's unfair. And that's why so many people 1072 01:04:22,570 --> 01:04:26,130 refuse to relieve or like relieve someone from their life, 1073 01:04:26,130 --> 01:04:29,010 whether it's a friend or a relationship, without there 1074 01:04:29,010 --> 01:04:32,540 being some falling out. How come people can't just be 1075 01:04:32,540 --> 01:04:34,700 like, you know what? We don't grown each other? 1076 01:04:34,940 --> 01:04:38,020 I'm going to move out and I still want to be friends, but in 1077 01:04:38,020 --> 01:04:40,060 a different way. We're not going to be in 1078 01:04:40,060 --> 01:04:44,100 constant contact, but our morals, our beliefs are too 1079 01:04:44,100 --> 01:04:46,300 different at this point in our life. 1080 01:04:46,620 --> 01:04:49,260 We've grown together, we've evolved together, and now we're 1081 01:04:49,260 --> 01:04:52,140 going our separate ways on good terms. 1082 01:04:52,420 --> 01:04:55,380 And that's just a level of maturity that a lot of people do 1083 01:04:55,380 --> 01:04:58,660 not possess Because their parents are spiteful. 1084 01:04:58,820 --> 01:05:01,700 Because their parents are envious, Jealous. 1085 01:05:01,860 --> 01:05:04,780 Who does she think she is with her boob job, or who do they 1086 01:05:04,780 --> 01:05:06,900 think they are? They don't think about you at 1087 01:05:06,900 --> 01:05:08,420 all. Because I promise you, people 1088 01:05:08,420 --> 01:05:11,660 that are living their life for themselves are not doing 1089 01:05:11,660 --> 01:05:14,780 anything to spite you. You just feel spited because 1090 01:05:14,820 --> 01:05:18,100 you're not in alignment, and you feel triggered because you're 1091 01:05:18,100 --> 01:05:22,610 not in your power and you're giving power away to people who 1092 01:05:22,930 --> 01:05:25,770 abuse that power. And I just want to leave 1093 01:05:25,770 --> 01:05:28,530 everyone with. Like, you can start today. 1094 01:05:28,770 --> 01:05:31,770 Yes, Maybe you grew up in a household that reacted this 1095 01:05:31,770 --> 01:05:33,930 certain way, So you've always acted like that. 1096 01:05:34,410 --> 01:05:38,890 Like with me and my abandonment issues, I had always clinged to 1097 01:05:38,890 --> 01:05:41,170 certain people based out of longevity. 1098 01:05:41,490 --> 01:05:44,610 But then when I realized that I needed to let those people go, 1099 01:05:45,150 --> 01:05:48,230 really amazing and supportive people came into my life. 1100 01:05:48,590 --> 01:05:52,030 And I think that that's what has really taken me next level is 1101 01:05:52,030 --> 01:05:54,830 cutting those sandbags so that I can elevate. 1102 01:05:55,070 --> 01:05:58,390 And the people who want to be in the hot air balloon are in the 1103 01:05:58,390 --> 01:06:01,590 hot air balloon and everybody else is on the ground taking 1104 01:06:01,590 --> 01:06:06,430 pictures and talking shit. And what I want to say too is 1105 01:06:06,670 --> 01:06:08,870 you don't have. This is something that I've 1106 01:06:08,870 --> 01:06:13,030 really been fucking learning. You don't have to. 1107 01:06:14,630 --> 01:06:18,350 Say goodbye when you are creating distance. 1108 01:06:18,350 --> 01:06:19,910 There doesn't have to be a problem. 1109 01:06:19,910 --> 01:06:22,190 There doesn't have to be a fallout, there doesn't have to 1110 01:06:22,190 --> 01:06:26,430 be a conversation foreclosure for you to just start to take 1111 01:06:26,590 --> 01:06:29,070 several steps back and I think that. 1112 01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:32,840 When we're talking about like, releasing people that are that 1113 01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:36,320 you don't want in your life and whatever, we're not saying go 1114 01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:39,360 and have a fucking argument with this person that you've been 1115 01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:42,360 friends with since you were 10 years old and tell them that 1116 01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:46,280 they're a piece of shit. We're saying limit starts 1117 01:06:46,280 --> 01:06:48,840 talking less, limit that contact look. 1118 01:06:49,290 --> 01:06:50,970 Outside. Look at finding different 1119 01:06:50,970 --> 01:06:54,610 friends to spend some time with. Look at spending time with your 1120 01:06:54,610 --> 01:06:58,650 fucking self. Look at not having to text them 1121 01:06:58,650 --> 01:07:01,570 all throughout the day, every little thing that happens so 1122 01:07:01,570 --> 01:07:05,330 that somebody can validate your thoughts, choices and decisions. 1123 01:07:05,690 --> 01:07:12,090 And I respect that you didn't tell me about having the podcast 1124 01:07:12,090 --> 01:07:16,090 with that person because I needed to. 1125 01:07:17,540 --> 01:07:21,540 Stand on my own having a disagreement with somebody 1126 01:07:22,060 --> 01:07:25,420 through social media because that's the first time that I had 1127 01:07:25,420 --> 01:07:29,580 ever experienced any kind of like I met this person online 1128 01:07:29,820 --> 01:07:31,620 and I had a falling out with them. 1129 01:07:32,300 --> 01:07:37,030 It's the first time that. I had built something that 1130 01:07:37,030 --> 01:07:42,790 somebody may be wanting to have a piece of and not have put work 1131 01:07:42,790 --> 01:07:46,550 in for. It was also the first time that 1132 01:07:46,550 --> 01:07:50,590 I had had anybody make videos about me and say things that 1133 01:07:50,590 --> 01:07:54,350 weren't true, or say things that were true but were only from 1134 01:07:54,350 --> 01:07:57,270 their point of view. And so there were a lot of 1135 01:07:57,270 --> 01:07:59,710 lessons inside of that that I had to learn. 1136 01:08:00,310 --> 01:08:03,990 I also had to learn. Starting a podcast with somebody 1137 01:08:03,990 --> 01:08:08,750 else, what my expectations of somebody are and what I'm going 1138 01:08:08,750 --> 01:08:10,470 to be able to bring to the table. 1139 01:08:10,470 --> 01:08:15,550 Because I recognized that somebody who's never had a 1140 01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:18,350 podcast before at that time, I had had Coven. 1141 01:08:18,870 --> 01:08:21,069 There's these certain things that they're not going to know 1142 01:08:21,069 --> 01:08:24,990 how to do that happens to work out fucking perfect for you and 1143 01:08:24,990 --> 01:08:27,590 I. Because all of those like 1144 01:08:27,590 --> 01:08:31,590 logistical things behind the scenes that I was already doing 1145 01:08:31,590 --> 01:08:37,069 are easy for me to do for us. And you are always promoting and 1146 01:08:37,069 --> 01:08:39,550 marketing and you're networking and you don't have a problem 1147 01:08:39,550 --> 01:08:42,430 talking to 20,000 people, whereas for me. 1148 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,920 I'm like you but may not know, but I'm going to stutter and 1149 01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:49,960 have an anxiety attack and be like I don't know what to do. 1150 01:08:51,479 --> 01:08:54,720 And so we it. It made me appreciate and 1151 01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:58,359 recognize strengths that we have in our dynamic that maybe if 1152 01:08:58,359 --> 01:09:01,000 that situation hadn't happened, I wouldn't realize. 1153 01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:05,720 And since that I've had, you know they're different. 1154 01:09:06,220 --> 01:09:08,939 Conversations and people be like, Oh my God, what about a 1155 01:09:08,939 --> 01:09:11,580 podcast idea or, you know, whatever. 1156 01:09:11,580 --> 01:09:16,540 And I'm able to be like, if this isn't the type of level that 1157 01:09:16,700 --> 01:09:20,020 someone's going to show up with and the time that they're 1158 01:09:20,020 --> 01:09:22,220 willing to dedicate the communication they're willing to 1159 01:09:22,220 --> 01:09:25,060 have whatever it is, I don't want to be a part of that. 1160 01:09:25,060 --> 01:09:28,830 And also. And I can recognize if somebody 1161 01:09:28,830 --> 01:09:31,189 would have a strength in something and be like, why don't 1162 01:09:31,310 --> 01:09:36,710 you start your own podcast all alone and like work on these 1163 01:09:36,710 --> 01:09:38,350 things? Because I know that, you know, 1164 01:09:39,069 --> 01:09:41,430 maybe there's somebody who like needs to have control over 1165 01:09:41,430 --> 01:09:43,189 something. And if you need control you 1166 01:09:43,189 --> 01:09:49,050 can't Co collaborate. I think that's where people want 1167 01:09:49,050 --> 01:09:51,689 to poke holes and something that's working. 1168 01:09:52,050 --> 01:09:55,770 But The thing is, is when you're doing something from your heart 1169 01:09:55,770 --> 01:09:59,210 center and it's in alignment with your purpose, it does not 1170 01:09:59,210 --> 01:10:02,610 matter how many people cast stones your way, you're going to 1171 01:10:02,610 --> 01:10:06,490 be untouched, unharmed and unfazed by it. 1172 01:10:06,770 --> 01:10:11,280 And I think that I just let people show up in the capacity 1173 01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:15,040 that they're going to show up. And then I personally decide, is 1174 01:10:15,040 --> 01:10:18,520 that enough for me? Is this person giving me what I 1175 01:10:18,520 --> 01:10:22,040 need? And then if they're not, I don't 1176 01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:26,560 shame them or get upset with them or yell at them or let 1177 01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:30,880 these anger feelings come towards them because it's like 1178 01:10:30,960 --> 01:10:34,120 they're just showing up in the ways that they know how. 1179 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:38,810 And it's up to me to have discernment and alignment with 1180 01:10:38,810 --> 01:10:42,730 that or not. And a lot of people want a 1181 01:10:42,730 --> 01:10:47,210 project, friend or person or relationship and they want 1182 01:10:47,210 --> 01:10:49,970 someone they can fix. Because if you're fixing 1183 01:10:49,970 --> 01:10:53,490 someone, you're not worried about your own fucking issues or 1184 01:10:53,490 --> 01:10:57,530 your own problem. And I see this mainly in 1185 01:10:57,530 --> 01:11:01,850 relationship dynamics, where you can tell who's riding the 1186 01:11:01,850 --> 01:11:06,010 coattail and you can tell who has nothing going on aside from 1187 01:11:06,010 --> 01:11:09,050 said relationship. You can tell when the person is 1188 01:11:09,290 --> 01:11:12,970 pushing your business for you or or leading you to water so you 1189 01:11:12,970 --> 01:11:15,330 can drink. And it's not cute. 1190 01:11:15,370 --> 01:11:21,010 Like, I personally only admire people who are willing to eat 1191 01:11:21,010 --> 01:11:23,330 alone. And if you can't go to a 1192 01:11:23,330 --> 01:11:27,540 restaurant and eat alone in real life, you need to understand 1193 01:11:27,540 --> 01:11:29,780 yourself deeper. And some people are like, well, 1194 01:11:29,780 --> 01:11:32,860 I don't want to do that. Well, nobody wants to do that. 1195 01:11:33,060 --> 01:11:35,780 But that means that you're going to settle eating with people who 1196 01:11:35,780 --> 01:11:38,780 don't see you, who don't support you, and who are not good for 1197 01:11:38,780 --> 01:11:41,540 you. I personally love going to eat 1198 01:11:41,540 --> 01:11:44,180 by myself because it pushes you out of your comfort zone. 1199 01:11:44,460 --> 01:11:48,820 You will meet someone there, not necessarily like romantically, 1200 01:11:48,820 --> 01:11:51,460 but you'll say something to someone in passing or 1201 01:11:51,460 --> 01:11:54,790 conversation. Ironically, I go to this sushi 1202 01:11:54,790 --> 01:11:58,750 restaurant a lot, and I went there for lunch one Friday and 1203 01:11:58,950 --> 01:12:01,190 I'm sitting there eating. I'm kind of a regular. 1204 01:12:01,190 --> 01:12:03,950 So the servers are all kind of talking to me because I tip 1205 01:12:03,950 --> 01:12:05,870 well. So they know who I am and they 1206 01:12:05,870 --> 01:12:08,590 know what's up. So I sat down and I'm just 1207 01:12:08,590 --> 01:12:12,190 eating and this girl looks at me and she's like, this hibachi's 1208 01:12:12,190 --> 01:12:14,390 so good today. And I said, Oh my gosh, I know. 1209 01:12:14,390 --> 01:12:17,470 So we start talking. Come to find out, she comes 1210 01:12:17,470 --> 01:12:21,630 there once a week by herself because her husband doesn't like 1211 01:12:21,630 --> 01:12:23,150 it. Tell me why. 1212 01:12:23,150 --> 01:12:27,230 If not, like two or three months later, I come in and this girl 1213 01:12:27,230 --> 01:12:30,270 is there again by herself and I'm like, are we on the same 1214 01:12:30,270 --> 01:12:33,310 timeline? Like what timeline are we on? 1215 01:12:33,590 --> 01:12:38,910 But that's where insecurity versus security comes in. 1216 01:12:38,910 --> 01:12:43,670 A lot of people are too insecure or embarrassed XYZ to go do 1217 01:12:43,670 --> 01:12:47,500 things alone, and that's because you don't enjoy your own 1218 01:12:47,500 --> 01:12:50,060 company. You're being told who you are, 1219 01:12:50,260 --> 01:12:54,820 you're being led to water, and a lot of people follow celebrities 1220 01:12:54,820 --> 01:12:59,540 or follow trends or follow BS that's like, not them. 1221 01:12:59,660 --> 01:13:03,940 So when it fades out, you fade out, your inspiration fades out, 1222 01:13:03,940 --> 01:13:07,680 your momentum fades out. And I think that's where I've 1223 01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:10,440 learned a lot about being alone and why. 1224 01:13:10,440 --> 01:13:14,520 I originally had surrounded myself with people who were not 1225 01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:19,040 good for me because they were a distraction from my own misery 1226 01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:22,360 and self hatred. And the moment that I decided to 1227 01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:26,360 not settle was the moment that I went next level. 1228 01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:29,920 So I just hope that anyone listening has a fire lit under 1229 01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:33,560 their ass and they're ready to make changes in big ways and in 1230 01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:36,520 small ways. Because every day matters, and 1231 01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:39,560 one day at a time, we'll get you where you need to go. 1232 01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:44,000 On that now I'm going to pull the human design card. 1233 01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:49,560 I pulled card 37 and it's Chamber of the Pearl. 1234 01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:52,240 It's got this ocean. I love the water coming up in 1235 01:13:52,240 --> 01:13:54,920 spring. You've got the mountains. 1236 01:13:54,920 --> 01:13:56,960 It reminds me a little bit of Big Sur. 1237 01:13:59,880 --> 01:14:02,620 The sign is Pisces. Ooh, I love this. 1238 01:14:02,620 --> 01:14:08,580 Your gift is new vision and the shadow is division, the gift of 1239 01:14:08,580 --> 01:14:11,580 new vision. To honor the gift, we must first 1240 01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:13,820 acknowledge our ever present equality. 1241 01:14:14,100 --> 01:14:16,820 We're a global family built from the same cloth. 1242 01:14:16,980 --> 01:14:20,740 When we forsake our inherent oneness, we rely entirely on the 1243 01:14:20,740 --> 01:14:25,100 false narratives of the physical world, division, destruction, 1244 01:14:25,100 --> 01:14:28,930 power, and control. Accessing this gift means taking 1245 01:14:29,010 --> 01:14:33,410 back your power and your ability to see beyond these limitations. 1246 01:14:33,690 --> 01:14:36,930 It's an act of courage, as many people will forever be 1247 01:14:36,930 --> 01:14:39,290 hypnotized by the allure of power. 1248 01:14:39,610 --> 01:14:44,050 Detangling fact from fiction is a lifelong endeavor. 1249 01:14:44,970 --> 01:14:48,250 Finding balance within the polarity doesn't mean burying 1250 01:14:48,250 --> 01:14:51,450 your head in the sand, but it allows you to see the whole 1251 01:14:51,610 --> 01:14:56,050 world stage through a new lens. Become conscious to your own 1252 01:14:56,050 --> 01:14:59,170 innate sovereignty and follow your heart's direction. 1253 01:14:59,170 --> 01:15:04,970 Salvage the Pearl and then, which is basically what you had 1254 01:15:04,970 --> 01:15:09,170 been talking about. And then shadow is division. 1255 01:15:09,690 --> 01:15:13,490 This, a lower frequency state, is characterized by outdated 1256 01:15:13,490 --> 01:15:17,370 power structures, imbalances, and worn archetypes of the Old 1257 01:15:17,370 --> 01:15:20,120 World. When we're unable to see outside 1258 01:15:20,120 --> 01:15:24,240 of our duality, we tend to favor one side, right or wrong, 1259 01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:28,400 masculine over feminine, power over apparent weakness. 1260 01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:32,440 The narrative runs deep. As a collective, we've often 1261 01:15:32,440 --> 01:15:37,240 championed masculine models, equating force, hegemony, and 1262 01:15:37,240 --> 01:15:39,280 the quest for power with greatness. 1263 01:15:39,710 --> 01:15:43,030 The pendulum must not swing too far in the opposite direction in 1264 01:15:43,030 --> 01:15:46,430 order to repair division. Instead, we must call upon a 1265 01:15:46,470 --> 01:15:50,390 union of both feminine and masculine energies, reconciling 1266 01:15:50,390 --> 01:15:54,030 the collision within and moving beyond hierarchy. 1267 01:15:54,470 --> 01:15:58,030 The perpetuation of war, conflict and separation within 1268 01:15:58,030 --> 01:16:03,990 the global arena highlights are reticence to abandon masculine 1269 01:16:03,990 --> 01:16:07,510 driven modes of survival that no longer serve the collective. 1270 01:16:08,080 --> 01:16:11,320 The first step is to heal this wound within and witness our own 1271 01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:15,040 contribution to the continuation of these obsolete systems. 1272 01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:20,120 Exit the fun House of mirrors. The themes are duality, peace, 1273 01:16:20,120 --> 01:16:22,720 healing, and innate power. And that's exactly what we 1274 01:16:22,720 --> 01:16:26,700 fucking talked about too. Talk about alignment and Spirit 1275 01:16:26,700 --> 01:16:29,620 will show up with more aligned energy. 1276 01:16:29,620 --> 01:16:33,020 We love you all and we just want you to be the best version of 1277 01:16:33,020 --> 01:16:35,660 yourself who does not freaking settle. 1278 01:16:35,660 --> 01:16:39,500 So go pop your shit, go be great, and we'll see you next 1279 01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:42,660 time in Candy Land. Bye.