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00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:10,560
Yeah, he says. 
She's so sweet. 

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Like a rapper. 
Like a lollipop. 

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Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, 
lollipop, lollipop, lollipop. 

4
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,800
What up, bitches? 
Welcome back to Candy Land. 

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Like a lollipop with Paige and 
Gemini. 

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We're having a good time, really
taking the moment to reflect on 

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our journeys and like cut back. 
Unnecessary noise has been so 

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healing. 
I feel so much better. 

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What about you? 
I feel so much better. 

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Yeah. 
Everything just feels light. 

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Everything is feeling super 
good. 

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I feel super happy in life right
now and just like where things 

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are and just I I feel like even 
stresses that come up the good 

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is just outweighing the bad 
right now. 

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I think at the end of the day, 
we're like a product of our 

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environment. 
When you finally get your 

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environment under control, then 
you can really do the inner work

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or like expand on your own 
journey. 

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But if you're constantly in an 
environment that's creating 

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poison in your life, you're 
never going to grow. 

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It's just like a family, a 
flower. 

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You don't get mad at the flower 
for not growing. 

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You just check the soil. 
You check the environment every.

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Time. 
Sometimes I have aggression 

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issues and I may get mad at the 
flower. 

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Yes, I mean, I think overall, 
like the people who have been 

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putting in the work and doing 
the healing, it's a messy 

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journey. 
It's not easy. 

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And that's why most people self 
numb or medicate. 

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And I've talked about that a 
bunch. 

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We've all been there at some 
point like blocking out our own 

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struggles. 
So I'm really loving this like 

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freedom that we both are like 
thriving in right now. 

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And Speaking of people like 
putting in the work, I just want

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to shout out the girls who are 
taking my mediumship class right

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now. 
This is the most active 

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interactive of any of the 
classes that I've ever done. 

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I decided to pre record the 
videos so that nobody had to 

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worry about being able to attend
the zoom or not. 

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It was pre recorded and the 
everybody like not only are 

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people like in the chat talking,
but it's like real concrete 

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questions that they're asking 
about what we're learning. 

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And this past week we were 
talking about the Claire's, 

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which I thought was super dope 
because then I watched the 

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interview that you just did when
you were on a podcast and you 

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were starting to talk about your
Claire's and you know, the 

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different ways that you kind of 
developed that. 

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And I thought it was super 
synchronistic, just like the way

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that we just are parallel with 
different things that we talk 

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00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,360
about when we don't even realize
the other one's talking about 

51
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it. 
And you know, that does go in 

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00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,200
with putting in work and things 
happening at certain times. 

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But I thought it was so cool 
because people who are in quote 

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UN quote, my community space, 
having the mediumship class 

55
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right now are hearing these 
words maybe for the first time. 

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And then they go over to your 
community space, they see this 

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interview and they see you 
talking about it. 

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And I just think that that like 
ramps up that same energy. 

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Yeah, that's what I was like 
talking to my friend about how 

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like we had discussed on the 
last episode, like how our 

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duality has changed, where I've 
shifted more into like my dark 

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goddess witch energy and you're 
like more shifting into like 

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your butterfly. 
Like let me expand and grow 

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energy. 
And like it's really beautiful 

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how our friendship like is super
poetic in that way because like 

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we just had our two year 
anniversary, you all of meeting 

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in person. 
And for those that haven't 

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watched the home girl episode or
listened, go back and listen to 

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home girl so you can get it like
scope of where we were two years

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ago. 
But it's crazy that that's only 

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been two years, right? 
It's yeah, it's I just think of 

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like where where my life was 
when we went there versus like 

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where my life is now. 
And I won't lie to you, I 

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probably wouldn't go on that 
trip right now with where my 

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life is right now. 
I think that I think neither one

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of us would have. 
I think that we're so much more 

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in tap and in tune with things 
and with comfortable with saying

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no. 
And I, I just think that it 

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would have been, it would have 
been a no if if that opportunity

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00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,320
came up now. 
So it happened at the time it 

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needed to. 
We learned lessons, but the 

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versions of us that we are now, 
there's no fucking way we would 

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have gone on that trip. 
Yeah. 

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I mean, I look back at like 
2020-2021 me and I went to 

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Louisiana and met a girl from 
the Internet. 

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I went to Arizona and met a girl
from the Internet. 

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I went to California and met a 
girl from the Internet and Utah.

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So I was out here like making 
friends for the first time and 

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feeling really inspired by that.
And I do think it's really 

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beautiful that two years ago 
people were trying to infiltrate

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00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,520
our community. 
And then I went on to the Elite 

92
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,120
Life by Sam podcast and talked 
about it and like kind of aired 

93
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,160
out that weird ass energy that 
we were experiencing. 

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00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:16,080
But I know that was truly 
because our podcast was meant to

95
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,760
grow deeper roots. 
And without those challenges, 

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00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,400
like as a plant, you're not 
going to really be able to 

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00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,440
overcome if you're uprooted by 
every challenge, if every single

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time it it's windy or stormy, 
you're uprooted and on the 

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00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,840
ground shriveling up. 
Like you're not built for this. 

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And I think the more that you're
in a public eye or the more that

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00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,200
people learn about your journey,
the more that they feel like 

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00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,640
they have a front seat to the 
story or that they're a part of 

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00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,280
it. 
But The thing is, is like 

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everyone included, you're the 
main character of your story, no

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00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,680
one else. 
I can't give that power to other

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00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,080
people. 
But I feel like in the past, I 

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00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,720
like was just like yearning for 
friendship and connection that I

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00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,520
would literally create these 
relationships with people and 

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00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,040
spend hours on FaceTime or the 
phone. 

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And like, that's exactly how our
relationship developed. 

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00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,960
So I'm not saying it's wrong. 
It's just funny that when I look

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back, it's like, why did I feel 
like I needed a tour guide? 

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Those people weren't like 
offering me a place to stay. 

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Like I got my own place to stay.
Why did I feel like I needed a 

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tour guide, you know, I mean. 
I used to feel that way. 

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00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,360
I think it comes from like a 
codependency. 

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Like people can be codependent 
on friendships and like on even 

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on strangers like to just not 
want to do things by yourself. 

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00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,280
Like it's one thing to do things
with somebody else or with other

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00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:43,360
people because you genuinely 
like their time and attention 

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00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,760
And it's you just love being in 
their energy and it makes you 

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00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,280
happy and fulfilled. 
And that's one thing. 

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00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:53,640
But it's totally different when 
it's because you can't function 

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00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,720
by yourself or like and do 
things by yourself. 

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And it's funny for you to, like,
reflect on old versions of 

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00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,480
yourself. 
Or, you know, you talk about how

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00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,360
you're in your like, dark 
goddess era and I'm in my like 

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00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:09,040
butterfly era. 
And I will tell you that like, I

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00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,880
really love not having to be 
like such a hardened version of 

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myself because I feel like I've 
been that person for so long. 

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But what's really annoying is 
that now I cry and I have never 

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been a crier. 
Like I've always just been a 

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like, this doesn't give me any 
emotion. 

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I'm just really numbed out. 
And I feel like the more happy 

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that I am in my life, the more 
that any little thing that like 

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causes any upset, I'm like, I'm 
going to cry about this and have

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00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,880
a meltdown and like I won't be 
able to stop it. 

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00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,760
You know, I like love crying. 
I have crybaby tattooed. 

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00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,840
I love crying because I truly 
feel like that mental release 

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from crying. 
But I've noticed lately how I 

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00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,160
have like, a cold reaction. 
Like no one's getting a rise out

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00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:56,840
of me. 
Like, yeah. 

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00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,480
We're the we have swapped places
bitch like. 

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00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,480
You know what, I'm over it and 
you know, I was talking to my 

145
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,640
friend about it and it like 
you're a Gemini and I'm Taurus. 

146
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,400
But like, we were both born in 
May, so we're representing that 

147
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,360
duality of May. 
And it's really interesting 

148
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:18,160
because we built our bond on 
spiritual like topics are 

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00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,000
spiritual growth. 
But then we've evolved into like

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such a soul level bond that like
a lot of people were triggered 

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00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,120
by that, you know, in the 
community spaces or in the past,

152
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,440
even in person. 
And it's just so funny to think 

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00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:35,159
like I'm triggering you by 
having a solid friendship. 

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00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:36,799
Like what does that say about 
you all? 

155
00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:41,760
Like what does that say? 
It will never not make me laugh 

156
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:45,520
that literally what set that 
bitch off is the fact that I 

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00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,800
made your plate when I made 
food. 

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00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:52,000
And it's just hilarious because 
like if I've ever cooked for 

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00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,320
you, I always make your plate. 
Like that's just how I am as a 

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00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,680
person. 
Like if I if I'm making food, 

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00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,920
I'm going to make your plate. 
Make sure that you're good to 

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00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,440
go. 
Make sure that there's enough 

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00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,360
food for me to have something 
because I figure I can make 

164
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,200
myself something different if 
there's not enough. 

165
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,440
Like I have a whole mental 
thing, but I like taking like I 

166
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:13,880
like taking care of my people. 
And so that for me, like that's 

167
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,280
like a sign of love and 
affection. 

168
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,360
And it's not like I didn't offer
for like you and Juba were just 

169
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:25,440
like you girls were like do it 
and that home girl was not 

170
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,400
having it. 
And it just to this day, I'm 

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00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:33,400
like, of all the things that 
like my snarky ass personality 

172
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,480
like would have caused a 
problem, it was that. 

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00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,720
You know, and like to add to 
that, I know we've touched on 

174
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,240
this before, but like home girl 
told Gemina we were going to 

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00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,720
wear sweatpants and hoodies the 
whole time. 

176
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,680
And then like, I'm not, I'm like
a sweatpants girly, but I'm 

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00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,120
definitely going to bring 
leggings or a sports bra or 

178
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,920
whatever to hike in. 
But because we had a couple crop

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00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,360
tops and matching leggings, she 
was so triggered. 

180
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:05,000
And what was crazy is we both 
had me and home girl the same 

181
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:09,640
version of the black craft cult 
sweats, but mine were in pink 

182
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,280
and hers were in lime green, 
even though I own the lime green

183
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,520
ones too. 
I'm like, why are you so 

184
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,760
triggered? 
Because we're getting ready and 

185
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:20,520
then Juba wears makeup every 
day, like to work to anywhere. 

186
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,440
She puts makeup on daily. 
And she was getting ready in the

187
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,360
bathroom and oh, girl was like, 
I'll just get ready in the 

188
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,440
microwave because. 
I forgot she. 

189
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,320
Was like I'll just get ready in 
the microwave because I'm not 

190
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,800
high maintenance. 
I'm like, OK, you could have 

191
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,520
like pulled out a phone camera 
and turned it around and used 

192
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,520
it. 
I think that why don't we jump 

193
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:47,520
into questions because I feel 
like home girls had home girls 

194
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,360
had enough air time. 
She didn't pay. 

195
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,400
So we're gonna go off themes 
tonight. 

196
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,920
The first thing that we're gonna
talk about is family and 

197
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,000
upbringing. 
We have some questions. 

198
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:02,800
Yeah, am I? 
I'll ask you first. 

199
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:08,760
That's your that's your Forte. 
OK, how do you think that your 

200
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,680
upbringing shaped your views on 
success, relationships and self 

201
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:16,320
worth? 
I really feel like my upbringing

202
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:21,400
was very different, like my mom 
was like the credit card queen, 

203
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,840
like living beyond her means, 
buying pools and boats and 

204
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,840
taking us on vacations and 
things that I truly thought that

205
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,880
we had money, but I didn't 
realize that we were in debt. 

206
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,480
We didn't own anything. 
Our house got foreclosed on, new

207
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,720
cars would be repossessed. 
And like shout out to my mom, 

208
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,120
like she was just 20-30 years 
old trying to figure out her 

209
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,160
shit, going through alcohol and 
drug addiction herself. 

210
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,800
And you know, me going through 
those same cycles in my 20s, I, 

211
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,320
I see if I had a kid I'd be 
fucking them up too. 

212
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,600
So I don't blame her. 
But she wanted to portray a 

213
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,560
lifestyle that was not real. 
And then my dad is very like 

214
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:01,840
army mentality, like get it from
the mud, pay for your shit, 

215
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,480
don't live beyond your means and
like really enforce those 

216
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:11,680
boundaries of like not living 
beyond his means and not like 

217
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,160
buying a bow or buying something
just because you can buy it. 

218
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,440
So like she would project a 
lifestyle that just like wasn't 

219
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,440
reality. 
So my dad is very much like paid

220
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,720
for what you have. 
Stop buying shit you can't 

221
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,080
afford. 
And my mom was very like, we got

222
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,520
it, we could do whatever we 
want. 

223
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:35,160
So I think that that's put me 
into a hyper focus on foundation

224
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,560
and a hyper focus on paying for 
things so they could not be 

225
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,400
taken away. 
Like I'm that friend that will 

226
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,720
buy everyone's dinner just cuz I
don't want to go through the 

227
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,760
hectic of like splitting the 
checks right now. 

228
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,920
I don't want to even deal with 
it. 

229
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,840
And I'm afraid of how this 
person might tip and embarrass 

230
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,080
me. 
You know what I mean? 

231
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,040
Like I'm really, I can see where
I can be controlling with 

232
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:58,320
finances because things that 
were held over my head, I bought

233
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,000
this for you. 
I did this for you. 

234
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,280
And I don't do that to people. 
But I never want anyone to say 

235
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,520
that to me. 
So I would rather be the I got 

236
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:10,640
it friend and not worry about it
rather than just accepting it. 

237
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:14,320
Like a girl that I know gifted 
me this handmade ring she made 

238
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,720
and I was like, Oh my God, I'll 
make a post about it. 

239
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,160
And she was like, babe, it was a
gift, you don't got to do 

240
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:23,000
anything for me. 
And I see where I can receive, 

241
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,960
but I also feel like I need to 
do something on the back end. 

242
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,320
So I feel like it shaped me 
because at sometimes I'm 

243
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,120
hyperphyxiated on foundation and
then sometimes I'm 

244
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:36,240
hyperphyxiated on like over 
giving rather receiving. 

245
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,880
So here lately I've been like 
trying to receive more without 

246
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,120
feeling like I owe someone 
something because of that. 

247
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,520
I had a friend who well, I have 
a friend who her love language 

248
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,440
is gift giving. 
And so when you go to her house,

249
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,240
she has like totes in her garage
where she literally just has 

250
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,560
things that she's bought that 
she like wants to like give you.

251
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,720
And I used to be like, Oh my 
God, like I used to feel so bad 

252
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,000
about it. 
And one day, I was talking about

253
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:07,000
this recently, one day she was 
like, if somebody wants to give 

254
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,240
you something and that's their 
love language, and you don't 

255
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,600
just receive it and say thank 
you and you made it. 

256
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:16,000
You make it seem like now you're
burdened to do something in 

257
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,640
return. 
You're actually shutting down 

258
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,520
that person from expressing 
their love their way. 

259
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,200
And it doesn't feel good to 
them. 

260
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,400
And it feels like you're 
shutting them down. 

261
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,440
And I was like, oh, shit, I 
never. 

262
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:33,280
And so, yeah, being able to be 
like receiving of, you know, 

263
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,440
abundance, whether that be love,
love or gifts or or whatever, 

264
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,440
and just being able to have 
gratitude with it without it 

265
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,920
makes people feel guilty for 
sharing sometimes. 

266
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,160
And we're like, I'm going to do 
this because you did this. 

267
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,080
And they're like, I didn't want 
anything, you know? 

268
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,480
Yeah. 
And I think that when I was a 

269
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,840
kid, my mom and dad argued a lot
over money. 

270
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,200
And like, I specifically 
remember this one time that 

271
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,480
like, they would rotate, like 
the tax years. 

272
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:02,360
So sometimes I would feel like a
burden in that way, like, oh, 

273
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,600
I'm just like a tax deductible 
or something. 

274
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,880
And I remember it was my dad's 
year and he went and filed all 

275
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:13,960
of his taxes and then my mom 
counterclaimed and went and did 

276
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,680
the wrong thing and and followed
me and claimed me and it fucked 

277
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,640
my dad's taxes up. 
But since she had full custody 

278
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,920
of me and this was like a 
agreement that they came up with

279
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,960
on their own. 
It wasn't in writing or 

280
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,440
anything. 
He was fucking pissed. 

281
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,520
Like it was next level. 
And then I never heard the end 

282
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,840
of it. 
And like I love my dad but he's 

283
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,200
always been the I did this for 
you person. 

284
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,520
Not in a nasty way, but just 
like I paid for this or I bought

285
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,560
you this or I got you braces or 
whatever. 

286
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,000
And like I had to set him down 
one day like in my mid 20s and 

287
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,840
be like, I don't fucking care 
what you did when I was 12. 

288
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,280
If you're not emotionally 
available to build a 

289
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,680
relationship now, then we're not
going to speak. 

290
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,840
And he's really been really 
grown and stop doing that now. 

291
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,360
He like just bought us $400.00 
Kid Rock tickets for the end of 

292
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:05,920
this month. 
It's like 2 weeks away. 

293
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,000
Just for Valentine's Day. 
He said like just Valentine's 

294
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:09,600
Day. 
I don't know. 

295
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,920
Do we? 
Never done that. 

296
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:17,280
So I don't know like where the 
lights came on for him, but I 

297
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,080
think it's because I'm so freely
giving. 

298
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,200
Like I'm a very, I like to give 
gifts. 

299
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,200
I'm a great gift giver. 
I remember the first time I sent

300
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,280
you a witchy box. 
I feel like that inspired you to

301
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,320
start sending witchy boxes 
because I like curated this 

302
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,360
special box for you. 
And then like a year later 

303
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,200
you're doing the same thing for 
people. 

304
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,440
But that's like my thing. 
Like I got a reading from this 

305
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,720
girl in California. 
I really fucking like her and I 

306
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,720
sent her a big box of stuff and 
she like put me on her story and

307
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,480
was like so grateful. 
And you know, I just think I 

308
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,520
like to exchange energy but 
sometimes don't know how to 

309
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,880
receive. 
So I'm learning more that I just

310
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,240
need to be open to receiving and
not feel like I owe someone 

311
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,320
something. 
Yeah, absolutely. 

312
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:03,800
I, I feel like it's like such an
era of like having growth too, 

313
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:08,079
and us like recognizing these 
different things and figuring 

314
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:12,359
out like, you know, do I need to
be more receiving or be giving 

315
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,040
more? 
Or, you know, do I need to be 

316
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,960
more like also have more 
gratitude for things? 

317
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,920
Because there's a fine line 
between being like, I'm going to

318
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,720
be a receiver and I'm not going 
to, you know, feel like I owe 

319
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,280
you anything. 
And also being able to express 

320
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:29,800
gratitude for the things that 
are being done for you. 

321
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,280
Yeah, I might get a big shift. 
Like I've been clearing space. 

322
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,480
I'm sitting empty without 
feeling like I need to fill that

323
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,840
space, and that's a bad space to
be. 

324
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,720
Being able to be comfortable 
with just coasting a little bit.

325
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,960
And I think that goes in with 
the like you and I are being 

326
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,800
very intentional about things 
that we're walking away from 

327
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,720
right now and we talked about it
last episode. 

328
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,960
But things that like other 
people see as these like 

329
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,440
monumental success things and 
and pivotal successes. 

330
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,560
You and I right now are like 
that doesn't like that doesn't 

331
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,560
really feel like success to me. 
And I actually want to like 

332
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:12,480
figure out how to redo things 
like once, once you once you hit

333
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,760
just certain pieces, those 
things don't really fulfill you.

334
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,880
And to be honest, there is 
things that are like so 

335
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:24,040
distracting. 
Yes, I think a lot of people are

336
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,760
distracted and that's the 
problem. 

337
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,800
Facts. 
Your question says what's 1 

338
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,000
generational pattern in your 
family that you've actively 

339
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,600
worked to break? 
Paying attention to the mental 

340
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:44,240
health of my children, I feel 
like because I grew up in 

341
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:48,280
Christian Science, they are 
they're not medical at all. 

342
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,240
And so they don't take you to 
the doctor. 

343
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:56,840
They don't do certain things and
they, they really focus on just 

344
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,720
like praying through things. 
And it's always like, well, 

345
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,840
you're like this the image of 
God. 

346
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,600
And so, you know, like you just 
have to think about yourself as 

347
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,560
like whole and complete. 
And if you're having these 

348
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:14,160
problems and it's just because 
you're not picturing yourself 

349
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,680
the way that God intends you to 
be and you need to like pray 

350
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,400
about it. 
And there's been a lot of mental

351
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,040
health things in my family's, 
particularly on my mom's side, 

352
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,720
because I don't really know my 
dad's side very well. 

353
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,000
So particularly on my mom's 
side, like they just do not have

354
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,000
a focus on mental health. 
And there's so many people on 

355
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,000
her side that have mental health
things. 

356
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:40,720
And it's always like those 
people, myself included, have 

357
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,200
just been like the black sheep 
and ostracized and have to 

358
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:47,400
figure things out on their own. 
And so for me, if that turns 

359
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,640
into like over my dead fucking 
body, am I going to just watch 

360
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:55,920
my kids struggle and not do you 
know, whatever it is that needs 

361
00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,480
to be done for them? 
And you know, whatever, you 

362
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,160
know, mental health support that
is, whether that be through 

363
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,240
medication or therapy or 
whatever. 

364
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:12,080
That is something that might 
seem just like a normal thing to

365
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,240
so many people, but for like 
where my family comes from is 

366
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,720
just like the thing. 
So down to the. 

367
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:24,360
I didn't talk about this before,
but during Christmas I went and 

368
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:30,880
we visited my parents and I was 
gone for New Year's and my 

369
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,560
parents were watching my son. 
And I'm like, you know, they 

370
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:39,440
know that he's on medication for
ADHD and they don't like it, but

371
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,600
they know it. 
And so, you know, they knew his 

372
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,120
medication schedule and 
everything and they just 

373
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,040
straight decided that they 
weren't going to give him his 

374
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:50,080
meds and they, they just were 
not going to give him his 

375
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:55,560
medication when they had him. 
And then it was like, I was 

376
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,000
being crazy for being fucking 
livid about it. 

377
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,160
And, you know, and then I had to
have the conversation with my 

378
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:06,400
mom of like, you're not the 
parent and your role as the 

379
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,080
grandmother is to do whatever 
the fuck I say to do. 

380
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,440
And that, that too is always 
like it. 

381
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:18,400
I feel like for me, it's, it's 
really hard for me to actually 

382
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,360
get angry about things. 
Like I know that like I'm 

383
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:25,200
assertive and I like, I speak 
what I'm thinking, But for me to

384
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:30,200
actually be angry about 
something and, and like it was 

385
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,360
speak out of anger is so fucking
hard to do. 

386
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,880
And, and so to be pushed to that
limit and vocalize and be 

387
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,880
fucking mad and then just have 
it disregarded. 

388
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,760
That was something like I like 
we packed up and I didn't stay 

389
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,920
with them for the rest of the 
trip. 

390
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:51,040
Like I, yeah, that for me was 
like, that was such a blatant 

391
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,640
disrespect that I'm like, I will
have nothing to do with it. 

392
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:59,360
And so I will protect my kids, 
right? 

393
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,240
To have their mental health be 
taken seriously and their 

394
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,800
well-being be taken seriously in
those spaces and. 

395
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,160
Exactly, at the right time of 
the holidays when everyone's 

396
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:14,160
projecting and being fucking 
weird anyways, like going around

397
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:18,040
family that you barely see 
around the holidays when the 

398
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,000
energy is so heightened in the 
collective with like lack 

399
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,200
mindset, scarcity, control, 
manipulation. 

400
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,280
You know, a lot of people stick 
around for their kids or do 

401
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,360
certain things for their kids, 
Especially with the holidays, 

402
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,040
it's even worse. 
And I really believe that. 

403
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,080
Like I stay in my little bubble 
all year long until like I got 

404
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,640
to go around these people. 
So I totally get it. 

405
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,280
I would be livid. 
And honestly, boundaries are so 

406
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:45,000
important because our generation
is like the one finally saying 

407
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,640
like, you won't be a part of my 
life if you don't do this. 

408
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:53,360
But like our parents generation 
just let shit fly. 

409
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,920
They were just like, fuck it. 
I'm just going to let it fly. 

410
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,760
You know? 
So I feel like for once people 

411
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,680
are starting to stand up and 
say, you know what, like my kids

412
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,600
needs are important. 
My needs are important and you 

413
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,040
can fuck off period. 
I don't care who you are. 

414
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:12,360
Facts and like, I mean, I just 
don't, I just don't think that 

415
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:16,080
parents realize that their 
actions have repercussions. 

416
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:20,320
Like now, if they, they're not 
really the people who like want 

417
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,600
to like have the grandkids stay 
over and like take care of them 

418
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:29,120
themselves anyways. 
But having that opportunity, I 

419
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:32,600
feel like is such a privilege 
to, for somebody for me, 

420
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,840
especially with my trust issues,
to trust my kid being like with 

421
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,680
you like that, like, you know, 
and for them to like take 

422
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,040
advantage of that. 
I feel like that opportunity 

423
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,280
isn't going to come for them 
again. 

424
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,080
They're not, there's not going 
to be the option for, Hey, he's 

425
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,480
going to come and stay with you 
and you know, do the grandparent

426
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,840
thing because now I can't trust 
you to take care of the basic 

427
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,840
requirements and expectations. 
And that's not something that is

428
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,400
going to affect me. 
Like I have plenty of support. 

429
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,160
Like I don't need that. 
I'll take my kid wherever the 

430
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,480
fuck I go and pack him on my 
back, you know, like I think. 

431
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,960
Taking your power back from that
situation and not giving it some

432
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,720
grand reaction. 
It's just like this happened. 

433
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,040
This is how I feel about it. 
Oh, I gave it a. 

434
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,600
Grand fucking reaction in the 
moment I was hurt. 

435
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,600
Well, I mean, like overall 
though, like you're not still 

436
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,840
feeding it power. 
You've taken your power back and

437
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,560
said won't happen again. 
You did it. 

438
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:28,800
Yeah. 
I. 

439
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,240
Showed you what that meant and 
now I'm not going to give you a 

440
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:36,160
chance to do it again because 
what happens, mostly people are 

441
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,560
like, oh, I'm sorry, I'll I'll 
do better or whatever. 

442
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,440
And then they jump right back 
into disrespect again down the 

443
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,640
road or down the line. 
So I really commend you because 

444
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:49,080
standing up to our parents is 
such a fucking healing 

445
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:50,800
experience. 
Like we just got to check them 

446
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,480
people sometimes because for 
one, they've got their own 

447
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,720
unresolved traumas, but they 
need to choose to grow instead 

448
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,320
of setting in those traumas. 
Fact. 

449
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:06,440
Let me ask you your question. 
Do you believe family is defined

450
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,360
by blood or do you think we 
create our own family through 

451
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:13,520
experience and connection? 
I don't even think blood defines

452
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,480
family, bitch, I don't think 
blood defines family. 

453
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:21,920
There are people in my life in 
this bloodline that I don't love

454
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,600
and I don't give a fuck about. 
I honestly would rather help a 

455
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,360
stranger than help some of these
people in my quote UN quote 

456
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:30,560
bloodline. 
So with that being said, I think

457
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:35,560
that you develop connection with
people through like compassion 

458
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,480
and selflessness and 
understanding and a lot of times

459
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,680
family because they grew up in 
the same things or the same 

460
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,280
environment. 
They can't validate your 

461
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,440
experience because they're too 
trapped in their own ego and 

462
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,040
their own experiences. 
So I personally feel more 

463
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:55,520
supported by strangers and my 
Internet friends and people I've

464
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,640
developed friendships with than 
by certain family members. 

465
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,120
Because they're still throwing 
little blows. 

466
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,760
Like, how's your little business
doing? 

467
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,640
How did you meet Bunny? 
That's so weird that you know 

468
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,000
her. 
Oh, because celebrities care 

469
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,880
about me and like me and are 
friends with me. 

470
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:11,880
That's so weird. 
Why? 

471
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,520
Because you're a nobody. 
Because no one cares about you. 

472
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,480
I don't know. 
I got to tell you something 

473
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,160
fucking weird. 
Something fucking weird to me. 

474
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:26,160
Is that like somebody will tell 
somebody that I'm just meeting 

475
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:31,320
like, Oh well, her best friend 
is friends with Bunny. 

476
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,840
And so you should totally talk 
to Gemini and see if she can 

477
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,800
like make the connection for you
to Bunny. 

478
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,320
I have been asked to give 
wedding invitations to Bunny. 

479
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:47,760
I have been asked if that it's 
somebody's birthday and can I 

480
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,560
please reach out to Bunny so 
that Bunny can cash out them. 

481
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:56,120
I have had the most absurd 
fucking I'm going to Nashville 

482
00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:58,360
and I would love to see Bunny 
while I'm in Nashville. 

483
00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:01,040
Can you try and arrange that? 
I'm like, on what fucking blue 

484
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:08,360
planet Do you think that if I 
listen, if I was going to try 

485
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:11,680
and pull some fucking favor 
about but and and try and have 

486
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,880
contact with somebody, you think
what I'm going to reach out to 

487
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:20,120
Paige about is can I give her a 
wedding invitation from you to 

488
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:23,480
give to money? 
I think the fuck is not. 

489
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:30,080
And it instantly puts my guard 
up and I'm like, I'll never be 

490
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,800
your friend. 
I'm a business transaction. 

491
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,880
You want to see exactly what it 
is that you can get out of me 

492
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,600
when you ask for things like 
that. 

493
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,800
And I think it's so fucking 
tacky and weird. 

494
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:46,360
And never have I ever texted you
and been like, hey, Bunny didn't

495
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,760
message me back. 
You know, when I sent her a 

496
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,440
message. 
Can you please ask her to go and

497
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,840
check her DMS because like I 
sent her something and it's that

498
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,320
fucking energy and you know 
what's so? 

499
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,280
Interesting about it is like I 
talked about this on that elite 

500
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,520
life podcast, me and you don't 
wait keep like that's what I 

501
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,760
love about our friendship is 
like even now with my readings 

502
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,480
closed, I'm like y'all should go
book with Gemini. 

503
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,040
Like if if you want a reading 
right now, go get one from 

504
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,240
Gemini. 
But whenever me and you were 

505
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,520
connecting on like the Bunny 
story, you never tried to use 

506
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,000
that as like a way to get close 
to me. 

507
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,760
You were just like I found you 
through Bunny and I really 

508
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,800
resonate with your story and I 
really like you. 

509
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,400
Hey I want to get a reading or 
whatever. 

510
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:31,280
There's never any shit and I 
feel like even now like I have a

511
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,000
distant distant family member 
who's like a step family member.

512
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,400
They're not even blood. 
Literally told a mutual friend 

513
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,040
of ours fuck Paige. 
Now that she thinks she's famous

514
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,520
she don't know nobody. 
That's weird because we didn't 

515
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,480
talk for a fucking 7-8 years. 
So now all of a sudden your 

516
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:52,760
favorite artist gives me VIP and
I get to go, you know, side 

517
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,600
stage and backstage to his 
shows. 

518
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,480
You're feeling some type of way 
about that. 

519
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:01,840
I never brag about that shit. 
I never glow or be like, Oh my 

520
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:07,160
gosh, you know, I honestly feel 
like because I am chill and like

521
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:11,560
discreet and like reserved, so 
many other celebrities connect 

522
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,120
with me. 
You all. 

523
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,000
It's not just Bunny like there 
is a fucking list of them and I 

524
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,400
don't care that you all know 
that I don't care to post it. 

525
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,680
I'm not one of those weird 
mediums that's going to be like,

526
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,360
had a great session, Let me 
screen record half of it and 

527
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:28,800
share very vulnerable, intricate
information we've done. 

528
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,440
Spell workings for celebrities 
together and stuff. 

529
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,880
And what we've done is posted a 
picture or a video of the spell 

530
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,880
working, said absolutely nothing
about the client or any details.

531
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,920
Because when you're doing things
because you genuinely are 

532
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,760
wanting to do them and that's 
your craft and your power. 

533
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,200
That's the purpose that you're 
doing. 

534
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,160
You're not doing it because 
you're looking for some 

535
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,720
recognition and clout off of 
somebody else's name. 

536
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,200
It's weird when people want 
clout off of our names, so why 

537
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:58,720
would we go and do that to than 
others? 

538
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,480
We have people name drop us all 
the time and it's like that's 

539
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:05,680
fucking tacky and weird and I 
don't like that and. 

540
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,800
I feel like over the years 
people like you said, we got get

541
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,760
close to you and get close to me
in hopes that that's going to 

542
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,240
open new doors for them. 
You're a fucking slimy and 

543
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,560
snaky. 
No doors are opening for you. 

544
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:22,000
Like genuine people get genuine 
opportunities, not manipulators.

545
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,640
Like eventually everyone comes 
off of their high horse and 

546
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,800
comes back down into reality and
sees you for who you are, a 

547
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,920
fucking fake ass person and we 
work. 

548
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,720
Really hard for everything that 
we have like I know that it 

549
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,880
seems like, you know, we don't 
have to put much effort into 

550
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:44,520
what we do or you know, I know 
you've gotten comments that like

551
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,840
all you do is post, you know, 
pictures of yourself or you 

552
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,800
know, whatever. 
And my thing with people were 

553
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,520
always like, all she does is 
like make cooking, cooking 

554
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:57,560
videos on TikTok and whatever. 
And it's like there's so much 

555
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,920
effort and time that's gone into
things and building a business 

556
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,560
and a brand is not easy, let 
alone the fact that like a lot 

557
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,080
of people build their business 
and brand by exploiting 

558
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,880
themselves and like that. 
That's a huge thing. 

559
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,720
And I'm not knocking anybody 
elses hustle, but like you and I

560
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:21,240
have never exploited ourselves 
in order to have a come up or 

561
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,120
whatever like we that that's 
just a line that we've never 

562
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,840
crossed. 
And you know there are people 

563
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,040
who have done that and that's 
how they've built and amazing 

564
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,040
for them. 
We've made a point ourselves 

565
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:35,880
that that's not how we want to 
build. 

566
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,680
And unfortunately, being a girl 
and not exploiting yourself 

567
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:45,960
makes it a lot harder for people
to want to listen to you because

568
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,040
having people like us for our 
voice and our spirituality and 

569
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:54,120
the things that come from our 
brain is a lot more difficult 

570
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,760
than you know. 
Not that we're not pretty, but 

571
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,200
we haven't. 
We haven't exploited that in 

572
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,960
order to build ourselves. 
But we love the people who put 

573
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,160
themselves out there in all the 
ways, like all fucking women. 

574
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,000
I don't care how you get it out 
the mud. 

575
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,000
The tides are shifting. 
Abundance is shifting back into 

576
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,360
the women and to the human 
energies. 

577
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,960
And that's because we actually 
give a fuck. 

578
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,960
Like so many people, no matter 
how they get their money, are 

579
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,560
helping people behind the scenes
that you can't see. 

580
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:27,520
But men in general that we see 
in the spotlight, like fucking 

581
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,240
Kanye West or whoever, act a 
fucking fool, right? 

582
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,120
Like the tides are shifting and 
I feel like authenticity is not 

583
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,000
for sale. 
You can't just go buy it. 

584
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,600
You're going to have to figure 
it out. 

585
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,000
You're going to have to be 
yourself, like just like me 

586
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,360
really airing things out on like
an interview or our podcast or 

587
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:49,040
in general makes people see that
I'm a real fucking person and I 

588
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,560
have real struggles or real 
things that I go through. 

589
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,000
Not perfect. 
I'm not a highlight reel. 

590
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,360
I've been through some shit, 
some heavy shit, you know what I

591
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,320
mean? 
And at the end of the day, I 

592
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,520
know that made me a better 
person because I actually care 

593
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,800
about people. 
It's when you go through shit 

594
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,840
and then you start bleeding on 
people that didn't cut you and 

595
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:11,240
blaming everyone along the way 
really makes me feel like fuck 

596
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,000
you dude like you know what I 
mean? 

597
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,240
Yeah, I I do know exactly what 
you mean. 

598
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,240
And I, I really like that 
analogy of not bleeding on 

599
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,960
people who didn't cut you. 
There's also this this analogy 

600
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,600
that I heard once and it was 
whether it be friendships or 

601
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:34,880
relationships, it was you can't 
pour a fresh glass of milk into 

602
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:39,040
one that has sour milk into it 
and think that it's going to 

603
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,720
taste good. 
And I think that like that makes

604
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:47,520
so much fucking sense to me of 
like you working on your own 

605
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:52,040
shit and not thinking that your 
own toxicity isn't going to 

606
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,200
follow if you don't do the work 
and thinking that everything is 

607
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,080
going to be, you know, amazing. 
You have to keep working on 

608
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,880
cleaning out the things that are
toxic for you. 

609
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,960
And this literally. 
Segues into your question. 

610
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,840
It says how? 
Do family dynamics shift when 

611
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,760
one person in the family starts 
healing and growing beyond 

612
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:15,840
what's expected of them? 
A people think you're crazy, B 

613
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,520
people think that you think that
you're too good. 

614
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,920
And C people distance themselves
from you. 

615
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:26,520
And it feels real lonely. 
It feels real lonely when you 

616
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,239
realize that like, hey, I don't 
want to do things the way that 

617
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,960
everybody else is doing them 
because that that's really what 

618
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,400
it comes down to is you're no 
longer doing things the way that

619
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:39,639
everybody else is expecting you 
to or thinking that you should. 

620
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,239
And that's going to make you the
black sheep or the odd man out. 

621
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,000
And, and people aren't going to 
understand you and it feels real

622
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:51,040
fucking lonely until you find 
your own self-confidence from 

623
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,360
that and you figure out what to 
do with that individual power 

624
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,160
and where you're going to place 
that power. 

625
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,280
And then you feel a lot of 
strength. 

626
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,400
But you know, a lot of us are 
taught like families, 

627
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:09,200
everything, it's family 1st and 
this and that it, it takes you 

628
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,080
moving away from that and doing 
your own thing and being the 

629
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:17,480
individual to realize back to 
what you had earlier about, you 

630
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,000
know, family being blood. 
You build your family, whether 

631
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,000
that be inside your home and you
have a different partner and, 

632
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,240
and you come up with different 
things that family means or you 

633
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:31,440
have friends. 
It it is lonely and you have to 

634
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,560
build a whole new family. 
That's what that means, yeah. 

635
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:35,960
And I've. 
Been preaching the black sheep 

636
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,920
story for fucking years. 
I had a memory pop up two years 

637
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,160
ago. 
I did a motivational speech and 

638
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,920
that was the theme. 
Like you're going to outgrow 

639
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,600
people and they're not going to 
like your growth. 

640
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,000
They're not going to support 
your growth. 

641
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:50,400
They're not going to support you
till it's cool to support you. 

642
00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,440
Kind of like the little backward
comment. 

643
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,000
How's your little business 
going? 

644
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,720
I don't know. 
You don't even have a job. 

645
00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,680
Why are you asking me this? 
I have two jobs. 

646
00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,720
Have a good day, live your own 
life. 

647
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:02,440
You know, so many people are 
caught up in what other people 

648
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:06,000
are doing and that is their ego 
because they're not doing the 

649
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,600
fucking work. 
Like, if you're doing the work, 

650
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,960
you're going to be so in your 
own zone. 

651
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,280
You're not worried about who's 
making a cooking TikTok or who's

652
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,600
putting their asshole on the 
Internet. 

653
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:16,880
You're not going to be worried 
about it. 

654
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:20,080
You're going to be over here in 
your own lane living your own 

655
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,080
life. 
And I feel like so many people 

656
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,800
have, they say they don't have 
enough time to change. 

657
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,600
They don't have enough time to 
go to the gym, they don't have 

658
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,200
enough time to do what they need
to do. 

659
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,720
But they have plenty of time to 
get on the free apps and scroll 

660
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:34,040
around and talk shit about 
people. 

661
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:39,120
And that's why I feel like I 
have realized you can't share 

662
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,840
everything with everyone because
not everyone's happy for you. 

663
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,040
That's true. 
Not everybody is happy for you 

664
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:50,520
guys. 
Have you ever had to distance 

665
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,040
yourself from family members to 
protect your peace? 

666
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,480
And how did that affect your 
growth? 

667
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,120
I'm actually going. 
Through that right fucking now. 

668
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:02,160
I mean right now I just blocked 
an immediate family member 

669
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,160
because she gets on my last 
fucking nerve. 

670
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,920
She is the fakest bitch I've 
ever met in my life. 

671
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:10,760
Just a little run back. 
So every year at Christmas we 

672
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,400
have some split family so we 
have multiple occasions and this

673
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,720
is like the only time I see this
lady and she was the one with 

674
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:20,480
the little business comments. 
So like she keeps it going. 

675
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:24,160
She opens the wound and tries to
pour salt in it. 

676
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:28,240
So one of my favorite things is 
when her children were born she 

677
00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:32,800
decided she didn't want them to 
call my grandma grandma even 

678
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,080
though I'm 10 years old. 
She thought she was going to 

679
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,920
change it to Meemaw. 
I'm sorry, what the fuck is that

680
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,640
What is memaw? 
I'm not calling anyone that. 

681
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:45,800
So this year at but I mean I'm 
10 years old, you know what I 

682
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,560
mean like I was two if I was 2 
and someone said call her that 

683
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:54,280
had been different. 
But this year at Christmas, her 

684
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,520
daughter, who likes to stir the 
pot just like her mom, decided 

685
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:01,680
to at the family dinner table, 
bring up the grandma versus 

686
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,000
memaw debate. 
It's his. 

687
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,920
Responses. 
I just felt like mom was too 

688
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,560
young to be a grandma. 
Well, look at your brother 

689
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,400
because she'd been a grandma for
10 years. 

690
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,080
Talk to him about it. 
Talk to the wall about it. 

691
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,440
And then her daughter kept 
going. 

692
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,440
I just don't understand. 
And I said point blank, your mom

693
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:24,040
makes everything about her. 
What more Do you want me to say 

694
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:29,520
this at the family dinner table?
Then flash forward like a white 

695
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,960
elephant game and I had been 
wanting a scrub Daddy. 

696
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,880
It is literally a $5 sponge. 
What does she do? 

697
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,160
She runs right over and steals 
the scrub daddy. 

698
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,760
Then a week later at the next 
family celebration, she buys me 

699
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,200
a Scrub Daddy Deluxe. 
I'm sorry, I really do love. 

700
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,960
Scrub daddies though, are you 
the villain? 

701
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,160
And the savior, like, do you 
want to be relevant? 

702
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,360
So now when I use my Scrub Daddy
Deluxe I just kind of laugh 

703
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:56,520
because like even like ChatGPT 
said, this bitch is grasping at 

704
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,880
straws like there's nothing more
that you care about. 

705
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,280
You don't care about what she 
thinks, you don't care about 

706
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,640
what she does. 
You don't give a fuck about her.

707
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,640
So she tries to ruin your 
experience to fix your 

708
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:11,040
experience. 
And yes, I've had to distance 

709
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,280
myself from multiple people and 
I promise you I don't. 

710
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,920
I don't lose any sleep. 
Realizing you don't love people 

711
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,720
just because you were told to 
love them is so free. 

712
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,680
I literally she could be the 
last person on earth with a car 

713
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,240
and I would walk and that's how 
I feel. 

714
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,080
Boom boom, and that's on. 
Facts. 

715
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,600
What's my question? 
No more airtime. 

716
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,880
For you bitch. 
OK. 

717
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,280
What's 1? 
Lesson your family taught you 

718
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:43,040
that you've had to unlearn in 
order to expand into your 

719
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:46,600
highest self. 
I don't know if it's a lesson, 

720
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,120
but it's a but it's a, a thought
process. 

721
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:54,680
So my parents both have always 
drilled in that like you have to

722
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:59,200
have a very specific type of job
in order to be successful. 

723
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:07,040
And it gave me a lot of fear 
about finances and it held me 

724
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:11,920
back a lot from making my own 
money with my own businesses and

725
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:18,800
being willing to. 
Take leaps and, and that has 

726
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,200
been something that I've had to 
really work through. 

727
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:26,280
And you know, we talk about like
not having like a, a lack 

728
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,480
mindset when it comes to finance
and stuff like that. 

729
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:32,760
And like, and having fear based 
mindsets. 

730
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:37,160
And that is what I've really had
to like work on is the fact that

731
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:42,200
I, I feel like my parents have 
operated their life out of fear 

732
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:46,720
and like shared that with me. 
And that's something that I'm 

733
00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:49,640
constantly working on. 
Like I don't get scared of very 

734
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,680
many things. 
But then when I do, it's really 

735
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,440
hard for me to like break out of
that because it's such an 

736
00:40:56,440 --> 00:41:01,600
overwhelming like a feeling and 
emotion and money is where and, 

737
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:06,240
and the jobs that they think 
that you should have so that you

738
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:09,400
can have, you know, this certain
type of retirement or these, 

739
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,480
these certain things and you're 
not successful if you're not 

740
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:16,360
doing AB and C. 
And I'm like, you know, if you 

741
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:21,720
were to look at what I'm making 
hourly or whatever with my 

742
00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:25,080
business on like, and you know, 
on a month when I'm enrolling 

743
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,080
for classes or something like 
that versus like what somebody's

744
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,960
making that's going, you know, 
and working just consistently 

745
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,920
the 9:00 and 5:00 after, you 
know, all their shit, like it's 

746
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:41,280
comparable. 
So the thought that that's the 

747
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,280
only way that you're going to be
able to have success or things 

748
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,720
that you want, that's been a 
huge 1 and that's so. 

749
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:51,880
Triggering because I also had 
that kind of infused into me 

750
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,400
when I was expanding into my 
business. 

751
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:58,120
My dad was very much in fear 
based thoughts about the 

752
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:02,560
situation, but now he's totally 
like supporting it like 

753
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,720
completely on a different 
wavelength now that he's 

754
00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:07,840
retired. 
I went to the dentist the other 

755
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:11,200
day and we go to the same 
dentist since we like forever 

756
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,680
and he goes, man, your dad's 
like a different person now. 

757
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:21,160
And I was like, I know, I mean 
seriously, but honestly, he 

758
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,520
worked his ass off from 18 to 
fucking, you know, now. 

759
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,640
So I love to see him expanding 
into his highest self. 

760
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,120
Because if you're drained and 
sick and tired every day working

761
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,880
a job you hate, you're not going
to be happy. 

762
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,760
You might feel secure, but 
you're not going to be happy. 

763
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:39,320
And that's what business and 
like being in business, being an

764
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:43,600
entrepreneur has done for me is 
I realize I can get paid to be 

765
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,880
myself. 
And a lot of people only wish 

766
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:49,840
they had that luxury and they're
going to hate on people who have

767
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:54,480
that luxury truly from a place 
of black like not even a place 

768
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:58,400
of hatred, just a place of ego 
because they're working a job 

769
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,840
they hate and they see you doing
something you love. 

770
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:05,480
Just like when an artist like 
starts doing their thing. 

771
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,760
No one supports you. 
But you need to realize your 

772
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,200
target audience is not your 
fucking hometown. 

773
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,040
It's not people you grew up 
with. 

774
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,800
You know, I saw this theme where
people said their content wasn't

775
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:20,160
growing so they went and like 
removed and blocked all the like

776
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,720
lurkers or the monitoring 
spirits. 

777
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:25,960
And then their views went up 
because if Instagram shows your 

778
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,960
profile to 50 people and they 
scroll past it, it thinks it's 

779
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,680
not good content. 
So if you got 50 haters from 

780
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:36,480
your hometown being haters, 
they're blocking your success 

781
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:40,640
because you're trying to impress
them or you're trying to post 

782
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,400
like, Oh my God, will they 
accept me? 

783
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,920
And here lately, I've been on a 
deleting spree, like just 

784
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:50,640
deleting and unfollowing people.
There was a photographer that I 

785
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,720
worked with years ago that I 
really liked working with him. 

786
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,480
But then one time I just was 
like, I'm gonna give you $100. 

787
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,320
He'd been doing it for free and 
I volunteered. 

788
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:02,800
Then I started giving him 
readings and like Reiki 

789
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,000
sessions. 
Well, then it became the 

790
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,880
expectation and I get it. 
If that you you have new pricing

791
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,880
and you're setting a boundary, 
then I may choose what to do. 

792
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,200
But asking me to shoot, 
collaborating with me and then 

793
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,440
expecting something is weird. 
So I just kind of cut it off. 

794
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:21,760
Well, then he was like trying to
like get me to hook him up with 

795
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,120
Juba and she was like, 
absolutely not. 

796
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,840
She was like absolutely not, not
not happening. 

797
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,000
So I don't know, he just 
basically cut me and Juba off, 

798
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,400
like completely just started 
being weird. 

799
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:37,000
So I went and I unfollowed him 
on every platform and deleted 

800
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,880
him on Facebook because like, I 
don't need a monitoring spirit 

801
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,200
who's weird as fuck watching my 
girls from the sideline, knowing

802
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,760
damn well I volunteered to do 
those things. 

803
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,240
You didn't ask me to do those 
things. 

804
00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:51,200
But then it became this weird 
expectation or like power play. 

805
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,800
And I was like, I don't get it. 
I don't like it. 

806
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:58,400
That's one of the reasons that 
I've always I've, you know, 

807
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,960
gotten questions about photo 
shoots and things like that. 

808
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:06,040
And one of the things that I 
always tell girls is I have 

809
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,320
never and will never shoot with 
a male photographer ever. 

810
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:14,160
And that like that is just me. 
And that's because I have seen 

811
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:17,280
so many people have experiences 
like you do, because this is not

812
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:22,000
the first time that you've had 
some, you know, photographer 

813
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,120
have some weird expectation of 
you want you to hook you up with

814
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:29,360
their friend or, you know, 
wanting you to hook them up with

815
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,760
your friend and just being 
fucking weird. 

816
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:36,320
And I see it all the time. 
I think it's super predatory and

817
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:41,200
I think that there may be good 
people in that industry, but I 

818
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:45,960
think that certain people take 
on certain jobs because they get

819
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:49,640
to get others in vulnerable 
positions and take advantage of 

820
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,240
them. 
And photography is something 

821
00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:56,840
where it makes people feel like 
they're going to be able to put 

822
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,880
somebody in a vulnerable 
position. 

823
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,000
And not that there aren't women 
out there that are snakes, but 

824
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:06,680
the chances of you getting some 
woman who's doing photography 

825
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:12,640
with some predatory underlying 
energy is so fucking slim 

826
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:14,760
compared to men in that 
industry. 

827
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,840
And I just, you know, I also 
just think that women working 

828
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,840
with women like you're, you have
such a lower chance of their 

829
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:28,000
like being weirdness and 
uncomfortability and female 

830
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,800
photographers all the fucking 
way. 

831
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:35,760
I have noticed just from 
photography groups that new 

832
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,120
photographers think they're just
going to jump in and like be a 

833
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,000
boudoir, like a boudoir 
photographer, which I think is 

834
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,720
fucking weird. 
I also think that with like the 

835
00:46:44,720 --> 00:46:48,520
rise of only fans and the rise 
of those type of platforms, that

836
00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:52,160
photographers got into the 
business with weird intentions. 

837
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:56,440
But I have seen women not send 
photos, take deposits, not give 

838
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,600
you what you paid for over. 
So they're saying they're not. 

839
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Naked but like the cances of 
them wanting to do a boudoir 

840
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,640
shoot because they're trying to 
see you naked versus they're 

841
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,560
trying to do a boudoir shoot 
because they want to like maybe 

842
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:10,920
stuff their portfolio is fucking
different. 

843
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,720
You know, one time I. 
Shot with a couple, it was like 

844
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,560
a guy and a girl and it was so 
cool. 

845
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,320
It was like amazing because they
were married and their chemistry

846
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,320
was great and I felt really 
comfortable to do boudoir with 

847
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,640
them, like body suits and stuff.
And it was great. 

848
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,680
But you know, I think overall 
I've like been way more 

849
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,400
selective. 
Like I have like a personal 

850
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:32,160
photographer that I really like 
now and he's great and his 

851
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,680
wife's great and he's just like 
such a great person. 

852
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,360
So I think I'm very intuitive 
about it. 

853
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,320
It's not just like, oh, you want
to take pictures of me? 

854
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,600
Of course you do, of course you 
want to. 

855
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:44,040
I'd rather pay someone who's 
more legit than get free 

856
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:46,560
pictures from someone who's 
shady as fuck, you know? 

857
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:52,480
And there's that period. 
All right, your turn to ask. 

858
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:54,920
All right, these are our last 
two questions. 

859
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,920
Yeah, yeah. 
All right. 

860
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,960
How do you navigate family 
relationships when your 

861
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:06,200
spiritual or personal growth no 
longer aligns with their 

862
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,680
beliefs? 
I feel like it's just 

863
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,080
detachment, like you're never 
going to get approval from 

864
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,720
someone who's committed to 
misunderstanding you. 

865
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,760
You're not going to get their 
approval if they're not taking 

866
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,040
care of themselves. 
And I think the more 

867
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:23,160
unapologetic that I become, the 
more people realize like they 

868
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,560
need to get with the program or 
get the fuck away from me and 

869
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,520
I'm and that's it. 
So I think a lot of my family 

870
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:33,320
has started to get with the 
program and support me and my 

871
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,240
weirdness. 
I mean, I know it's triggering 

872
00:48:36,240 --> 00:48:39,720
for some people that are like 
super like religious in my 

873
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:44,520
family, but they don't shame me.
They don't treat me bad because 

874
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,760
I don't align with the beliefs 
they have. 

875
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,320
So I think overall, like 
detachment from wanting their 

876
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,800
approval will will do you well, 
you can show up to the family 

877
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,040
function. 
My new thing is just going to be

878
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,280
no response. 
So like when someone's talking, 

879
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:01,880
I'm just going to be like. 
Yeah, me and. 

880
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,440
Then I'm just gonna walk out, 
out of the room. 

881
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,840
You know what I mean? 
So I feel like this Christmas, 

882
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,040
I'm gonna eat some edibles 
before I go so I could be extra 

883
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,520
chill. 
Do it. 

884
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,840
OK. 
What does family mean to you now

885
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:16,360
compared to when you were 
younger? 

886
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:18,880
And how is that definition 
evolved through your personal 

887
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:22,680
journey? 
Oh, shit. 

888
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:28,160
Family to me used to be people 
who were going to just say yes 

889
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,120
and validate the things that I 
wanted. 

890
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,680
And so whether that be, you 
know, family that I was still 

891
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,720
going to be talking with or new 
family that I was making, I was 

892
00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:41,800
only surrounding myself with 
quote UN quote, family that was 

893
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:45,280
going to be the yes man for me. 
And like everything that I was 

894
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:49,800
doing and for me now, the people
who I consider to be family 

895
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:54,760
inside of my life are the people
who are going to, yeah, support 

896
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,840
and what I'm doing, but are 
going to be able to tell me like

897
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,480
honest, real truths about 
things. 

898
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,680
Because those people are the 
people who are wanting me to be 

899
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,240
the best version of myself. 
And to be whether that be the 

900
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:12,840
parent or the business owner or 
just me in general, who are 

901
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:16,800
going to be able to have outside
perspectives without judgement 

902
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:20,000
of me. 
But by wanting to see me succeed

903
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,960
in things, that's family for me 
now. 

904
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,600
And I think that people that 
just make you feel comfortable 

905
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,760
to be yourself, exactly what 
you're saying. 

906
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,440
Like people who are just, they 
celebrate me because they like 

907
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,400
me. 
They don't point out things that

908
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:39,200
trigger me or bring up past 
versions of me that have 

909
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,600
expired. 
And supposedly, I guess they're 

910
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:45,560
living rent free in their head. 
You know, as you grow and 

911
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,600
evolve, you're triggering people
naturally that are staying the 

912
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:50,960
same. 
You're becoming a mirror for all

913
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,120
of their own insecurities and 
their own fears. 

914
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:57,040
So you know, like I said 
earlier, block, delete, and 

915
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:58,680
repeat. 
Baby, you don't need to prove 

916
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,240
nothing to these people. 
Truly. 

917
00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:03,920
If you don't love them, you 
shouldn't act like you do. 

918
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,200
You know, you don't have to love
people just because someone 

919
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,080
magically put them in your 
bloodline. 

920
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:11,840
Because I believe the way souls 
are set up that you can evolve 

921
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:15,040
into family bloodlines that have
nothing to do with your actual 

922
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,360
blueprint. 
But you're here to be the cycle 

923
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:18,800
breaker. 
You're here to be the black 

924
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,840
sheep. 
You're here to stand out and 

925
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:24,160
trigger these people because if 
you don't, they say the same, 

926
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,720
their soul stays the same. 
If they never see someone up 

927
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:30,360
close to them break free of the 
chains of this place, then 

928
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,360
everyone stays the same. 
So I really believe that in 

929
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:36,600
different sectors of your life 
you may evolve to connect with 

930
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:40,240
people, that you are a leader. 
And that's what's triggering 

931
00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,720
them is they can tell there's 
something different about you. 

932
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:45,720
They can tell there's something 
inspiring about you, but rather 

933
00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:49,320
than being inspired, they just 
want to compete and they can get

934
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,720
fucked. 
Yeah, I I think that's weird. 

935
00:51:52,720 --> 00:51:58,120
I think that it's weird also for
people to be intimidated because

936
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,320
you are being successful inside 
of something. 

937
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:05,840
And I, I've experienced that too
with people that I considered to

938
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:08,320
be family because they were 
really good friends, where it's 

939
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:12,000
like, yeah, I'm going to support
you until you're you're doing 

940
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,400
too well or whatever. 
And then I'm not going to 

941
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,760
support you anymore. 
And I'm actually going to tell 

942
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:18,960
you that like, I think you're 
not shit. 

943
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:26,840
And I think that's where I lost 
a lot of people inside of my 

944
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,520
life. 
And I'm OK with it now. 

945
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,320
But like, that's really hurtful 
when that happens, especially if

946
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,880
you're like, I'm just trying to 
do like whatever my highest 

947
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,120
sense of right. 
And like what my soul, you know,

948
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:42,160
is, is wanting to do in the way 
that I want to express myself 

949
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:46,600
and to have people who support 
you, but they only support you 

950
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,080
so far. 
And if you do it this specific 

951
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:54,840
way, or if you're this version 
of yourself and to our point too

952
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,080
of like, well, if you don't love
people and accept them as they 

953
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,680
are, then you shouldn't be 
having them in your, you know, 

954
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,760
your life. 
I think that that should go for 

955
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,360
everybody. 
If you're not going to love and 

956
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:09,840
accept the people that you're 
around, your friends, whatever 

957
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,480
for the version of them that 
they are, and help boost it and 

958
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,360
make it the best, then you 
should really just see yourself 

959
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:18,440
out because you're doing a 
disservice by holding somebody 

960
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:21,520
back from their truest potential
as your friend. 

961
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:23,920
Yeah, I think. 
The moment I stopped caring 

962
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:27,040
whether people are supporting me
or not and just started loving 

963
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:31,240
my life and loving myself, it 
was like you know what fuck you 

964
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:35,200
you're no one to me. 
Like you are a literal Karen or 

965
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:37,960
a stranger who I just don't care
what you think. 

966
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:40,320
And as a kid I'd grasp for 
straws. 

967
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,360
I wanted these people to accept 
me like why are they? 

968
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:44,760
Why don't they like me? 
Why are they always judging me? 

969
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:48,960
But now I'm like, get some 
popcorn, baby, and take a seat 

970
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,920
because you're absolutely 
irrelevant and I'm on the stage 

971
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:53,800
and that's why you're still 
talking about me. 

972
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:57,560
So with that note, we're so 
grateful for the people who see 

973
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:00,760
us, the people who fucking 
support us without any 

974
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:06,040
unnecessary drama or, you know, 
needs or false motives or 

975
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,800
whatever it may be. 
It just feels really nice to 

976
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:13,120
have a space to like, go to 
therapy, talk to our spirit 

977
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:16,320
guides, and then come to the 
podcast and fucking heal all in 

978
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:20,400
real time because life is very 
magical when you are in 

979
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,040
alignment with your higher self.
Everyone else who is not 

980
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,720
reflecting that back to you is a
distraction. 

981
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,480
They are limiting your story and
maybe you are better than them. 

982
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:32,040
Maybe that's why they think that
because you are baby. 

983
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,440
So we'll see you next time in 
Candyland. 

984
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,040
Bye, guys. 
Bye. 

985
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:45,440
Uh huh. 
Yeah, you said She's so sweet, 

986
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:46,240
man. 
Come on. 

987
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,760
Over the rapper live. 
Me like a lollipop. 

988
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:57,240
Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, 
lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, 

989
00:54:57,240 --> 00:55:01,680
lollipop. 
You want to swallow my spirit 

990
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:03,760
and penetrate my aura? 
Taste. 

991
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:06,120
All of my consciousness is 
obvious. 

992
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,840
We're goddesses full of the 
divine femininity.