Welcome back to Candy Land. We are so excited to be on here
with you all. We're doing biweekly episodes
and kind of just really soaking them in each one and trying to
make sure that each one gets enough like, energy and
attention. Because when you're putting out
new episodes every week, I feel like it's easy to overlook a
really good episode or overlook some really good information.
Why is my voice trying to cut out in the mix of this?
I don't know, but I also feel like we're also in this area
where we're both giving ourselves the time that our
other projects need and like really investing time and
building ourselves in other areas.
And coming to the podcast like to share different things, but
we have our own fucking journeys privately.
So biweekly just is the vibe. Yeah, I think each time that we
record an episode, you know, the ETA of like when the audience
actually hears that episode has quite some time gap because of
it only being every two weeks. So that's kind of interesting.
Where before, like you all were getting us like the day before,
dropping it, the literal next day, just boom, drop.
So, you know, we're definitely being more methodical this
season and trying to really soak in every episode and what each
episode has to offer. I mean, I kind of like that
about doing that though, because we do talk about our own
personal stuff here. And sometimes when people hear
what you're going through while you're going through it and then
they message you about it, like in friendly ways, like to talk
about it or whatever. It can be annoying sometimes
because you're like, I'm just trying to like work through my
things and I happen to do it on a platform, but like I want to
do it privately and alone. And by the time that people hear
our shit, it's like, oh, I've already passed that.
Like thanks so much for reaching out.
But like, it is a thing. I saw that orb pop past.
Your screen popping off like I've really got it popping over
here. Y'all like that?
I am loving this autumn energy, like the change of season
energy, Libra season, Like I'm here, I'm in the game, baby.
This is my last sign of the year, right?
Like, you know, we have our big three.
Like this is my last season of the year and I'm going to make
it the best one I've ever had. This is my favorite fucking time
of the year, and I don't know if it's because we have
back-to-back holidays or what it is, but like, everything's
starting to cool down. You walk to the store, it smells
like pumpkin outside. Starby's has the fall drinks
back. I don't care what you say, I'll
go every fucking morning during fall season and it's everything.
I'm definitely using pumpkin spice Creamer right now.
I love the season, I love layers like boots and jackets and
sweaters is like my jam. Although I like all seasons and
what they have to offer, I just prefer not to sweat my ass off
every time I go outside and to breathe thick air 'cause it's
very humid in Kentucky. Like super humid, so thick air,
and we're in the River Valley valley, which has some of the
worst allergies in the country. So it's just like thick pollen
dust pool. Can you say thick one more time?
Thick, I like it. Thick I like them all.
Thick air, she. Likes them all.
She likes a little girth on them.
Listen, I just, I don't understand going through life
and having conversations with your friend where you're not
talking about wieners. At some point in the
conversation, I just feel like, where's your mind at?
Like, where are your priorities? Like if good Dick's not a
priority for you, then I just, we're not really friends.
This podcast may not be for you, and I'm just kidding.
Crazy. It's crazy out here.
What do you have going on over there, Lady?
Me. Yeah, Your life.
What's new with you? Well I was about to speak on my
lava lamp that I got today 'cause y'all have no idea but
they came out with like a like a striped kind of Beetlejuice lime
green lava lamp at Spencer's and I saw someone post it.
So I reverse image searched it like 3 weeks ago and saw it was
sold out on Spencer's website and I was like oh I really want
that. So I checked the local
Spencer's, but they didn't have it.
And so then today I drove like an hour outside of Louisville
and I wasn't really going there with this in mind.
I just was like, oh, they have the Spencer's Let's go in.
And they had it and I got it. And then I was chatting it up
with the lady, 'cause I was buying other stuff and I gave
her some stickers and a podcast card.
And then she was like, I'm going to give you this item for a
dollar. And she literally gave me a
Playboy button up for a dollar. It was so nice you.
Got a lava lamp? You got a Playboy?
It was so nice of her and so everything just felt so aligned.
Well, I'm loving that for you. What do you have that you're
like working on to like manifest for next year while it's like
becoming like fall and then winter time?
Girl, I want to travel more next year.
I'm in. I'm not manifesting really
anything except more travel, more more joyful and exciting
experiences. I wanna see.
I wanna see your ass next year since clearly I'm not gonna see
you this year. Clearly, dude, traveling's
fucking like, I wish that I was able to just be like, you know
what, Like I'm gonna just pick up and I'm just gonna go and do
this and I'll have the best intentions to go and be able to
travel and stuff. But like it really is so
difficult juggling like kids and husbands and businesses and
being able to travel and do all of the things.
So like before you have all of these, like I'm not going to say
anything that ties you down because in so many ways, like
it's not a tie down, but just things that become more of a
priority. I hope that you travel it up and
do all of the things and go all of the places.
That's exactly why I want to do it because I personally had a
glimpse of clarity, if you will, where I don't want to be tied
down to a motherfucking thing, right?
Not even tied down. I don't want to be committed to
any roles that other people have for my life.
Like other people are like oh you can't do that or you
shouldn't do that or you shouldn't go there.
And every one of their opinions and fear based mindsets can
totally kick rocks. In my reality, they don't exist.
I personally just want to experience life and like network
because every time I go places and I network, I really get to
meet so many amazing people by just like naturally being myself
and it's such a good time and I come back and I always feel so
fulfilled. I love coming home though, like
I'm a homebody at heart, but it's like I really want to just
experience more of life like, and just see the world in ways
that may be like I haven't before, I guess.
My husband was watching this guy on YouTube who goes to places
with just himself and his like camera and he'll just take
himself into the most random places and he doesn't have
anything set up for housing, for food, nothing.
He just goes there meets local people and has them just like
adventure him around. So he went to this place called
It's a Barrow, Alaska, and he quite literally just hopped off
of it. They have one flight that goes
in and one flight that goes out per day and that's it.
And it's like this small Alaska town.
He just showed up and was like, hey, I want to try whale.
Can somebody take me to like, try whale?
And so he was being taken around by like, natives local in the
area who were talking to him about, you know, just like
different cultures and customs there and stuff.
And I just thought it was fucking cool.
He would just, he would be like, oh, OK, cool.
I just had dinner with you. Nice.
And he'd be walking and somebody would drive by and he'd flag
them down and be like, hey, and they'd take him to his house to
go meet their family and whatever.
It was just the most interesting thing that should be you.
But like with safety precautions, like you should
have a camera and a gun, you know?
I literally, despite popular belief, want to go on another
cruise even though that it was crazy.
We have had that conversation. I've already got one booked and
I'm going again next year. I cannot wait.
It's going to be exciting. So, you know, I'm just going to
be out here seeing what's up, seeing what's up in the world.
The way you gamble with your life for joy is just like, it's
just something else to me. You're like, I'm going to take
care of this spirit, but this physical body, I'm going to put
it on a fucking boat. I'm going to go out in the
middle of the ocean. There may be some murders, there
may be some crazy shit that happens.
I may not make it back to port. I could get lost at sea but I'm
full sending it. I don't know why, but here
lately I've been wanting to do spontaneous things.
Like I need the adrenaline rush, Like I need the, I need the
endorphins, you know what I mean?
I get no, I don't know what you mean.
Like I know what you mean for you.
Remember when we went on the thing?
We went on the the ride to the Devil's Gates, The Devil's hot
Tub, Hell's Gates. Yeah, I sure do.
I sure do remember being peer pressured into that.
And don't you have like this feeling that you are like you
did that in two wheel drive and was on the verge of sliding off
that mountain at any time, all of us.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it, but
I don't think it's like a a joyous reflection back.
It really is a like I should have like, you know, it's like a
catch 22, right? Because we have these memories
and have these things and we wouldn't have these memories if
we hadn't gone and done that. We would have just had that.
We would have just been stuck in a fucking tiny home the whole
time, but with like fucking boozy.
But we go and we I wish we hadn't done it.
Like there's so many other things I would have rather done.
I've never, my hands have never sweat so much in my life as it
did on that thing. And I've never been in a
position before where I'm literally cheering somebody on
so they don't kill me. Like I like I was the fucking
cheerleader in the back. Like, Oh my God, you're doing so
good. Yes.
And I literally was just like, please be filled with so much
love and appreciation right now that you don't slide us down
this fucking mountain. Absolutely 1000% am just shocked
that that happened altogether. Like the whole scenario of like,
oh, I got it, I don't need it telling the tour guide like I
got it, but yet you drank vodka and forgot to put it into 4
wheel drive. Like those two details are scary
because like otherwise, like someone who knows how to drop
this piece of machinery, someone who's listening to the tour
guide, those people in front of us had never drove one in their
entire life and they were fine. You know what I mean?
Like I feel like the circumstances would have been
different, but she was definitely on one.
So it's definitely an episode that if you haven't listened to
the Home Girl episode, go back to last year and find out when
Gemini and myself first met and how we almost died together.
But there's on a day that goes by that Gemini doesn't reflect
on that. Moment Because you know what
makes me so mad about it is the fact that I was like, I know
about this. We shouldn't go on this.
I have people who are tour guides who are telling us don't
go on this. This isn't a beginner level
thing. This isn't like don't do it.
I'm like we're not going to do it and then had to do it because
if we didn't go, then it would have been like a big problem for
you guys and I would have ended up going to jail because home
girl wouldn't have stopped her like tornado of fuckery the
entire time and she would have been mean to you and Jackie
still and it just like it would have been a whole thing.
Yeah, it was definitely crazy, but I definitely feel like that
experience opened me up to like a near death experience, like an
awakening moment of near death. Yeah, I don't want to repeat
that. So, like, have fun on the cruise
ships. This time I'm going to listen to
the inner voice that says, hey, don't do that.
And I'm going to not do it. I will think of you fondly.
I'll light a fucking candle for you.
I may the storms forever be in your favor.
I hope you see whales and dolphins and all of the things,
and I will see you when you're back on land.
My favorite part about all of this is like Gemini doesn't go
on a lot of trips. You all you just heard it.
And then she did that with us and we had that experience.
And then she went on another trip with some of her friends
and there was like a crackhead trying to break into their
Airbnb. And that's the funniest shit
that you've ever heard. Like she's literally telling her
husband that she probably won't go on a girls trip for a long
time. Six months or so goes by, she
goes on a girls trip and there's literally crackheads following
them and trying to come into the Airbnb.
Yeah, so I got this thing about girls trips now, and yeah, I
don't think they're for me. Like I like the idea.
Here's the other thing too, is like there's just something
always weird that happens on trips, like somebody goes
through something with their husband or like whatever
happens. Like there's just always these
like outside things. And so there's, I haven't, I
guess I just haven't had an experience where I'm getting
together with another group of women and it's just like a fun
time that doesn't have drama with it.
And there's 400 other things that I would rather do with my
time than have the fuckery. Had it been you, me and Jubur,
we would have had the best time. Just us when we had the last
couple days at the Airbnb and we just walked around and did food
and hung out and like that was such a vibe.
It was so laid back. And I, I've mentioned it before,
but just being able to be like, oh, I found this at this store.
So I want to go and return this real quick.
And everybody just being like, yeah, no problem, we'll go back
to that store. Like it's no big deal.
Like let's just go and do it. And never feeling inconvenient
or like I was fucking up somebody's time schedule or
something. Like I really loved that.
And that's the type of energy that I would want to have on a
girls trip. You are right about every time
people go on a girls trip, someone goes through a breakup
or something. Like you're, you're true on
that. Like almost every time I go on a
vacation, unless it's someone I'm actually dating.
If it's just someone I'm talking to like casually or like, you
know, you know that initial talking stage with someone every
time I go on a vacation that goes up and smoke while I'm
gone. And it's almost like they're
trying to ruin my time. Like they're insecure about what
I might be doing. So they're trying to like
distract me and ruin my time. And that has happened a lot.
So I can definitely say that like every time I go on a trip,
if I was talking to someone it by the time I get home, we don't
talk anymore. Now probably have blocked them
or something, but and I don't go on a lot of girls trips.
I go on like solo trips or like maybe a like you said, like two
other people. Yeah, I don't.
Any more than three people on a trip is probably doing too much
because then you give the option for two people to like pair off
and create like some weird buddy hierarchy system of like, I've I
have the car, I have the hotel. No, you know, what's weird about
that too is like, even if you go into things like prepared ahead
of time, I think back on that trip that we took now and I
think back on that other person and I, I think about little,
little comments of division before we even went on that
trip. And it's made me so much more
aware about how people really do tell you their thought processes
and intentions, but we just don't always think about it from
the perspective of what they're saying.
For example, like I remember when we were talking about doing
the trip and she was talking about how you were bringing Juba
and so and that you and Juba were so alike and that, you
know, she would have felt like she maybe would be the third man
out. So having somebody else there
would be awesome. And how like we both have kids
and she had just gotten married. And so she felt like everybody
was going to kind of have somebody to like hang out with.
And, and hearing that at the time, I was like, yeah, it
totally makes sense, right? Like you just have like
different things going on. Like I, I totally get the
feeling of like being left out or whatever.
But then I realized now after that situation happened that
there was such a hyper fixation and expectation on her end that
she would be left out of something, that she created that
reality for herself. And I think that we do that in
life so often without meaning to is like we have a fear or a
concern about something and we make that the reality that we
see and that we experience. And we put that on other people
and we don't realize that like that really isn't the reality,
but we've just convinced ourself of this based out of fear.
And once you kind of get into into a certain mindset,
especially when it's like a low vibrational mindset, and I feel
like it's really hard to get out of that.
And so many times, like for that person, I think that person
still truly to this day thinks that they did absolutely nothing
wrong because they made whatever version of reality they wanted
to make. And I think it happens all the
time. We just happen to be the
bystanders and quote UN quote, victims of that in that
situation. And you know, I honestly believe
that people will repeat that cycle and almost every new bond
or friendship that they develop, which is why, like in the past
when we weren't as selective about people coming in and
claiming to be a friend or a supporter or a fan or whatever.
And like just giving people direct access to us and learning
that lesson, like touching that fire.
And I think that's helped me a lot like keep the boundaries
clear and keep the like focus on like the healing aspect and like
helping others, but not necessarily thinking I need to
be everyone's friend or everyone's guru or everyone's go
to like some people. Who are really going to rock
with me for the long time or some people, it might be like a
temporary thing, but I think a lot of what I feel is this ever
changing flow of the type of people that I connect with and
the type of people that I am like friends with now versus
like the people I used to be friends with previously.
So it's like, you know, those cycles are almost unconscious
because it's like, well, you've always had a friend who treated
you this way or, you know, invites you to their birthday
dinner but then doesn't come to your birthday dinner or
whatever. You know, a lot of times people
will identify your place in their life earlier on and you
know what I mean? But I think that sometimes, like
with Internet friends or people coming in that you may not know
very well whether it's like, oh, I started this new job and this
person seems really nice, or I moved into this community and
this neighbor seems really nice. Like it's sometimes like some
people have I'll intentions, right?
Like just because you want that friendship or you want to
believe that it's good, you have to have discernment because not
everybody has the same heart as you.
Not everybody's going to pursue a friendship with the same level
of respect or understanding. You know what I mean?
I recently had a conversation with somebody who they're in my
life, not on a friend status really, but just somebody who is
in my life that I don't have the choice of whether they're in my
life or not. And they made a comment to me
about like, I really want to tell you the truth about, you
know, certain things. And I feel like I've like, been
lying to just like, kind of protect myself.
And I feel like if I tell the truth or I lie, it's like a
damned if you do and damned if you don't.
And I don't really know what to do about that.
And like, I really want to be able to have a friendship with
you, but like, there's certain things that I can't be honest
about in life and whatever. And in the past, I would have
been like, show up as you can, like it's totally OK, you know
what I mean? Like you can share with me what
you're able to and I'll hold space for you and it'll totally
be fine. And I would have felt like this
person just needs a friend and whatever.
And I set up a really clear boundary with my response and
was like, I totally understand what you're saying and where
you're at. And like, that must be a tough
predicament for you to go into and for you to be in.
But I require honesty and authenticity about friends that
I have. And I need to be able to trust
people that I have inside of my space and that I consider
friends. So, you know, if you're wanting
to be a friend with me, then I expect and kind of require for
you to have honesty and transparency.
And if you're not able to provide those things and you
know that, then you know, we can have this type of dynamic that
we have to have and that'll be it.
And their response was like liking my message.
And then since then, if they've accidentally used the word
friend, then they've corrected it and been like acquaintance or
something. And in the past that would, I
would have been like, that's just fucking weird.
But now I'm like, OK, cool. So like I asserted that boundary
and that requirement. That person recognized that they
can't provide that. And so they're just showing up
the way that they're gonna show up.
And they're not being manipulative about that, you
know? I love when people can just be
very honest with like what they can and can't do or what they
will and won't do. You know, sometimes I feel like
a lot of people get caught up on words, just the words of other
people like, oh, I'll do that, I'll change, I'll stop doing
that. I'll start doing that, whatever
it may be. But at the end of the day, like,
we really got to assess people's actions.
Like, do they keep repeating the cycle?
Do they fall into the same trap every time?
You know, I have someone that I've grown up with, and it's
like a childhood friend, family friend, whatever you want to
call it. And, you know, we're in our 30s
now. We don't really hang out.
But of course, we, like, keep up with one another on social
medias. And I noticed that she had
gotten in a new relationship. And I was like, I'll give her
three months and her and this man will be living together.
Well, it wasn't even 3 weeks. It wasn't even 3 weeks.
She moves in and she has four little Tito's and brought them
all, brought them all to this person's home and you know,
they're living their best life. And I could tell.
But then like one day her energy changed and I was like they
broke up. So I went to her profile
pictures which every week would be like a new picture of them
and they were all deleted. And I said something to my mom
about it. And I was like, well I don't
know. I'm not friends with her on
there. And I was like, they're going
through breakup instantly. She's back with her trauma
bonded little boyfriend that she's been on and off with
forever. So you know what I mean?
Like people will find someone who treats them amazing grasses
greener, got a new place to live, having a good time,
brought my kids through over here doing all this stuff and
still uproot their life for a trauma bond just like that.
Just because this person is boring, because there's not
constant fight or flight or drama or chaos, or because this
person has responsibilities and they want to get up and go to
work and go to bed at a decent time.
They don't want to go out and blow all their money or they
have, you know, they have goals and they're not just spending
and out to eat every day and whatever.
Because you know, I can say that the person that I grow, that I
grew up with, she definitely doesn't have her life together.
You know what I mean? Like she definitely goes from 1
extreme to the next in her life. And sweet girl, good mom.
Like no, no shade to her, but she has no roots.
Like there's nothing that's grounded in her energy.
And I think that, you know, sometimes you want that peace,
like you're seeking peaceful friendships, you're seeking
peaceful community bonds, support.
And then you get that. And the next thing you know,
you're starting drama. Next thing you know, you're
sleeping with somebody's boyfriend or you're doing
something crazy or you're stirring the pot because your
body is so like used to that chaos and that drama and that
constant just looking over our shoulder type energy that your
body will like almost bring that back in.
Because peace and quiet and chill and respect and and mutual
understanding sometimes could feel like phony or fake or why
are they being so nice? What's their motive?
Because your brain is programmed
to start shit, to start drama somewhere in your life, to keep
yourself in constant fear and terror and chaos.
Your subconscious is manifesting these experiences and then we're
victim blaming or victimizing our self even.
It's also such a trauma response for you to go back into
situations where you think that the chaos is passion and that
really is like a thing that happens, especially inside of
abusive dynamics, is that there will be such a nobody's going to
love you like this. We have have this crazy bond and
whatever. I'm just crazy about this
because I'm crazy about you and I, I think that even if people
have the intention of healing through that together and have
the best intention of healing through that, at some point,
you're really giving allowances for things and letting that
person know that you're OK with how they treat you because you
keep on going back. So it must not be that bad
because you keep on going back. And I see I've had a lot of
people inside of my life that have done that.
I, I had one relationship, right?
I felt like that was a thing was like, well, I really like them
as a person. And if I don't let them treat me
that way, then I don't get to have them in my life at all.
And I'd rather have them in my life and treat me shitty.
And it was when I was like fresh out of high school and I look
back on it now and I think about like, what were the pros and
cons of this person? And I'm literally like, the only
pro was that they told me that they loved me.
And I felt like if something was to happen inside of life, they
would fight to defend me. And I hadn't ever had anybody
that would fight for me. And that is literally the only
thing that I can think about that person that I genuinely
liked is the fact that they said that they loved me and the fact
that I felt physically safe in their presence if something was
to happen. I think whenever we date as a
young like teenager or any like younger age, something in our
brain chemistry changes towards those people like, you know what
I mean? Like whenever you're developing
like your, your sense of love or your sense of companionship in
those ages, I feel like something changes for those
people in that sense of like our mind can make up any story that
it wants. You know what I mean?
Like, because it was like an imaginative energy of like that
child good innocence, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
I don't know. I think kids are going up way
too fast these days. I know I've tried to grow up
fast and I wish I would have not, but it's just so much
exposure to things that I just don't think people were exposed
to before, you know what I mean? And I think that's the problem
is like these people are exposed and they need to just be playing
Uno reverse. I don't know, kids do just grow
up differently now and I want to say have access to different
things, but truly, by the time that we were like going into
high school, we had access to all types of things ourselves.
Like we had Myspace, We you know what I mean?
Like you could get in trouble over there.
We had AOL chat rooms. Like we had all the avenues to
be able to have fuckery happen too.
Did I ever tell you about the older dude tattoo artist that I
ended up like having like an online relationship with when I
was a kid? No.
OK, I remember this guy's name and I just, I won't shout it
out, but he's fucking creepy. And anyways, I think that I was
in, I was in high school, I was in like, I want to say like
junior, senior year of high school maybe.
And I don't even remember how I found this person, but he was
like, I'm a tattoo artist that lives in LA and whatever.
And we used to talk on the phone and whatever.
Well, I as a kid sent photos that I shouldn't have sent to
him. And yeah.
And so as I, I ended up blocking him and like moving on with life
and whatever. And we had talked for like a
year or something like that, just like kind of on and off and
we had face timed and things. So I like, I knew that that was
who that actually was. But after I was an adult, he
ended. And I want to say that this may
have been right when I got with my husband or maybe after I had
even had Mac, he literally messaged me on Facebook and was
like, hey there and then sent me the pictures that I had sent him
as a child. And so I blocked him because I
just like, I was like creeped out and I didn't want anything
to do with it. And then recently I was telling
somebody about it and she's like, that's distributing child.
I'm not going to say the word, but like child photography and
like that means that like that person has child photography on
their computer and it just makes me wonder, like I wonder if this
person has them of other people. I've, I've really been thinking
about it the last couple of days after like the Diddler was
something that we discussed because there are just like so
many fucking predators out there.
And we get, I don't know, victimized by predators in so
many ways. And then we just are like, oh,
I'm going to move on with my life.
And I have no idea what happened with those things.
They've never come back to like resurface or anything like that,
but it's wild. Yeah, honestly, that's probably
really illegal on his part to be doing that and harassment, and
you could probably sue him. I'm sure I could, but like, I
don't. I just like good riddance.
It's been years since I heard from that person.
Like in the event that I find out that my photos have been
distributed, I would sue him and I would, you know?
What a weird like hey, haven't talked in a long time, here you
go. It was literally like, hey
there, pictures, like we're not Facebook friends.
I don't have you on Facebook. You searched out my profile.
Very odd behavior. You know, it's just really
common like back in like my generation, the amount of like
18/19/20 year old boys that were like trying to holler at little
O 14 year old me. The the relationship I was just
telling you about where I was like, oh, well, he like really
likes me at least like he says that he loves me and I feel safe
with him. He was like I was, I was a
freshman in high school and he was already graduated, but he
would like come and hang out right outside the school campus.
You said that before. I've heard that.
You did tell us that. Fucking weirdos dude.
Like fucking weirdos. We must just really have to
bring light to this as women in 2024 that nobody is safe to
harass women anymore because we're we're telling everybody,
we're telling everyone. You know, I personally feel like
the world is on a shift, but like so much exposure has to
happen first. Like that shift is happening and
the veil is just getting so thin to the point will be non
existent. I agree with you on that.
There's so many statements or so many different things.
My husband and I were talking last night because he's like, I
have this like weird. Like when I look at like the
time that we have for our life, I feel like I have a very short
amount of time to do a lot of things.
And I was like, no, I feel that way too.
Like when we're looking at how long our life is going to be,
neither one of us are like, Oh my God, I see myself being like
this, like super old person or whatever.
We just have these like goals that we know, that we feel led
to achieve and do, but neither one of us sees ourselves in the
long run, if that makes sense. I definitely don't see like what
I'll look like, but I definitely know I'm going to live for a
long time. I feel like it anyways.
I feel like I'm gonna get that third Saturn return.
Like I'm gonna hit 90. If I hit 90, I'll be good.
I'll be like, damn, I'm trying to leave at 90.
I wonder what I'll be like. I just don't want to be like one
of those old people that just doesn't function anymore.
And it's just there and people. That whole family is like,
when's Grammy going to kick it, you know?
Oh. You got to take care of your
body, your mind, your spirit. You got to workout.
You got to eat right. You got to get your body right
and sustain it so you don't lose it.
That's what I think because a lot of the people that are like
healthy and fit, they're aging great.
And there's a lot of like there's Olympic people and crazy
people who like can do crazy things in their 60s, seventies,
80s that blow my mind. So I know it's possible.
Just you got to be in the, I don't want to like age.
I want to get younger as time goes on.
I want to be one of those people that like really doesn't let the
joy or the inner child or the magic die like that just
continues to grow Pfizer, but also like more youthful, more
youthful more and more what I want to say more expansive.
I want to try to be more expansive every year.
That's why I said next year I want to do more traveling and
things because I do I want to do that while I don't have
commitments to anything outside of myself that really it is just
what do I want to do without having to ask others or even
invite others, you know, like what do I pray?
What is my soul crave? And I think that you mentioned
Alaska. I would like to go to Alaska,
but it's not like #1 or anything.
I just want to ride a fucking moose and I don't care what
state I do it in, I just know that it's on my bucket list.
They have moose rides there. I don't fucking know.
I just know I want to ride a moose and I don't know where I
have to go to make it happen. But I think I've told you
before, I just want to be Teddy Roosevelt and I want to ride a
moose across the river. I really want to go to Canada.
I want to go to Canada, I want to see Shannon in Canada, I
really want to go to Avonlea. But that's just because Anne of
Green Gables is my favorite movie of all time.
Yeah, I really want to check out Canada.
Like I was supposed to go there before when I went to the
Detroit trip from hell. So luckily I haven't.
I haven't been there yet, but I will.
I will. Jesus fuck you have you have
crazy ass traveling stories too, just on your own.
It's something about somebody else setting up trips that just
really like. We should not let anybody
control things. Yeah, cuz whenever I set up my
own trips or I book the trips, I'm doing good, it's working out
good. But I do agree every time that I
go and I just am like present like oh I'll just pay my money
and ride with you or I'll just pay the money and come with you
to an already planned thing that yes, they get screwed every time
they rent the smallest rental car and I got to sit in the back
like terrible, terrible vibes. No, I don't like it at all.
Yeah, I personally am really just trying to see places I've
never seen. I really want to go to Hawaii
bad. I don't feel like calling to go
to Hawaii. I know a lot of people do.
I really want to go to Ireland and Scotland.
I really want to go to Thailand. Yes, yes, Queen, she wants to go
international, she said. Fuck this shit.
I'm trying to go international. Facts.
I want to, yeah, I want to go. I want to experience different,
like, cultures and different places.
Like I'm fucking tired of it here, grandpa.
Like I want out. Damn, she's ready to bounce.
I want, I want to go. I want to experience different
things. I want to.
Yeah. I feel like people have so many
complaints about this country in general.
And it would just be so interesting to people have
complaints about this country who are never going to go and
experience other countries. They're just going to sit here
and complain about what they have without knowing what they
have. And I don't want to be one of
those people. I really want to go and
experience different things and be able to be like, oh, you
know, these are different policies in different places or
different laws in different places and different, you know,
experiences that are here and be able to actually compare that in
person versus being somebody who's fucking Googling things
and drawing opinions and having arguments about things over
something that's Googled. And not a fact, just some
someone's opinion or some news article of someone's opinion or
something like that. Like I truly believe that people
are getting Dumber the more information that is available
because there's no way to truly process, harness and understand
the information. It's just like constant exposure
to information. And I feel like that is dumbing
people down. I feel like that is slowing
people down because there's too much available to them.
Like attention span. I know my attention span has
gotten bad. Like if I really like the movie,
I'll be able to sit there and watch it, but if I don't write
back on my phone, it instantly needs to be studied like time
and time again. Yeah, I completely agree with
you. I'm also like, I'm just like, so
over people having conversations about politics and about
politicians and comparing politicians personalities as if
everything that you're looking at isn't a total fucking facade,
regardless of who it is that you're looking at.
The entire thing is set up for smoke and mirrors.
And I just, you know, I don't care about, you know, somebody
has to be super assertive and mean because other countries
need to see that and somebody needs to be really soft and
gentle because people in this country need to see that.
And like I, it's very overwhelming and frustrating and
I would like to go and actually experience things in life.
And I think that people get so wrapped up in the politics and
the fear about things and whatever that they forget that
there's like other places that you can go and live.
There's other realities that you can go and have.
You don't have to be stuck inside of this and being like,
well, if this person wins, then this is going to be life.
Well, you don't actually know that.
You're just assuming things, you're scaring yourself and
people around you and it's giving unhealed energy and I I
just can't rock with it. I'd rather travel.
I'd rather go and fucking be butt ass naked on a beach in
another country and live my best life.
It's given everyone is sipping the kool-aid and it's the same
kool-aid across the board. No matter which side you pick,
it's the kool-aid. And I think it's weird people
that are like willing to quit talking to friends and family
over like other people's opinions on the Internet or what
Fox News said or what whatever channel said, you know what I
mean? It's like a lot of things that
you're hearing are propaganda, propaganda.
Look it up. That's what it is.
And you know, it's just kind of like the billboards that you see
here in the Bible Belt that like Jesus is real.
And then the next one be like hell is real.
Next one be like, do you know Jesus?
And then the next one will be like hell is real.
And the next one will be like Jesus needs to be a part of your
heart if you're going to be accepted into his Kingdom.
It'll it'll be like deeper, like they'll just be yelling at you
at 1st and then there will be a deep thought.
And then it'll be like John 316 and then the next one will be
hell is real. And they just like every 3 miles
there's another billboard that will say something all the way
till you get to a place where there'll be like 3 crosses or
like hundreds of crosses or thousands of crosses or one big
giant Jesus cross thing or whatever.
Yeah, like, so yes, I do think that propaganda, fear based
stuff is projected in all areas, whether it's like, you know,
religion, politics, finances, career, the housing markets, you
know, fucking college, whatever. Like they want you to bring in
more fear. They want you to be afraid.
Somebody caught somebody commented on this witchy friends
post that I have and was like give your give your soul to
Christ or something like that. And so she did a video response
and she's like, give it like for free.
I really think that if they're wanting to hire me on, they
should pay me. They can have my soul.
I'll switch fucking teams. You just if you, you want to
donate to my PayPal. If enough people donate to my
PayPal and just put a donation for Christ, then I'll, I'll just
switch teams. It'll be fine.
That'll it'll work for me. I can quit my job and I can just
completely commit to giving my soul to Christ and it'll be
everything. And I was just dying laughing at
her video. I thought it was the funniest
shit I'd ever seen. I feel like TikTok and the
fucking scammers really irk me to the fullest.
Like you can't even really make a spiritual post without having
the spellcasters and the crazy scammers come on.
They're like I don't even know. It's wild to me but I just can't
believe TikTok can't fix that. But then they want to censor a
video because the star card is on there and there's titties out
on the star card and it's like. I literally don't have access to
a live because I made chocolate and somebody said that I was
doing sexual activities and they can't.
They're going to block me off of there.
I can't go live, but they're not going to remove people who are
literally taking videos and pretending to be them and going
out and asking people for money. I know.
And that's what's crazy to me. It's mind blowing and it's been
such a turn off about the whole app because it's just like they
won't fix the scammer problem and then they've completely like
suppressed the content because you have all these fake accounts
on there that aren't really watching anything.
They're not viewing anything. All these bots.
It's just, I don't know, all these fake views and all that.
It's just like they broke it again, it was cool, and then
they broke it again, you know? I'm tired of seeing people
selling shit in the fucking TikTok shop like I, and I get
it, like, you know, wanting to have streams of revenue or
whatever, but I feel like they could have made a completely
different app for people to go and influence on and shop on.
And I like it would still be a successful app.
People would still go over there so that they can go and and
search different products and see different things and they
would still make money on that. But they're just transforming
something that has been made for creativity and turning it into
buy this mop. Yeah, buy this bucket.
Yeah, I've seen that, you know, they and they really do
influence people to buy the dumbest shit.
And then you know what I saw? I've been seeing a lot of people
talk about it on threads about how they left a negative review
on something they received from TikTok that look nothing like
the picture. Kind of like how what's
happening on Etsy with them stealing photos and mass
producing things that are supposed to be handmade,
one-of-a-kind. Even they said that TikTok wrote
them gave them money to change their review to a positive
review. Like like refunded them and gave
them money I think is what it was.
So someone said damn, I'm about to give everything a negative
review going. I was just about to say shit.
I could sit here and say a bunch of that mop is nasty, it came
already used. The the bucket had a crack in
it. Oh, I got a popsicle.
It was already licked and melted.
I could say all kinds of stuff. Sign me up.
I think that they should just let people shop on every other
damn app like that You have like there's so many apps, like why
do they have to make every app about shopping, like even
Instagram be doing the most with that as well.
It's just like, give us a nice for you page, a nice like
trending page, like a nice information page and leave it
be. Like, you know, if somebody
wants to shop, it should be like its own thing.
You're right. And it should be like a portal
where you just click the button and it takes you right over.
Kind of like cap cut. You know, we all integrate a cap
cut. Let's integrate a different app
for the shopping. That'd be good.
Yeah, no, I'm, I'm tired of seeing people unboxing things.
I'm tired of seeing like, I don't care about you steaming
your shower. I don't care.
It's crazy. I I'm so grateful for this
moment, but I want to read a numerology card.
OK, that's so funny. I had a numerology book that I
was sitting here looking at too. Pull me a card.
Read me. A number six, love, and this
card indicates a need to see the world through the eyes of love
and to remember at all times that only love is real.
When you look beyond the illusion to see the beauty in
the world, you align yourself with Source and the intentions
of your soul because you attract what you are.
When you see through the eyes of love, that's what will surround
you in all areas of your life. This card also indicates a need
to go within to recognize and address any limiting thoughts
and beliefs that are holding you back from experiencing love.
This is a time when you must ask yourself, am I truly open to
giving and receiving love? Do I truly believe I am worthy
of love and do I really believe that love exists for me?
Because love only comes when you believe that it exists, when
you're open to giving and receiving it, and when you know
that you are worthy. In order to improve your current
situation, you are being asked to adjust and harmonize with the
natural rhythm and cycles of your life, cycles that are
encouraging you to see and to believe in love.
When you believe in yourself and you cherish your life as it is
today, love will embrace you in ways you've never known.
Unconditional love of self and others will attract more love
into your life. The affirmation I see through
the eyes of love and attract more love into my life.
I want to read you the first of all.
I love that. I think that's beautiful.
I pulled out my numerology book when you had been talking about
numerology before we started and I went to page 6 and I want to
read what they have for six too. OK, this would be a cute little
fun thing to like pull out the numerology stuff.
OK, so six, vision of perfection, seeking fulfilment
through harmony and perfection. The six is the idealistic number
of heart and home. The sixth phase marks an
important point of culmination and fulfillment.
At the end of the second cycle of three, things should be as
perfect as we can get them. We're #5 takes us on a path that
investigates the house that #4 built.
Number six wants to display the house in a way that reflects its
own perfect vision of how it should be.
In this phase, the balance of beauty and harmony becomes all
important. Looking at the shape of the
number six, we see a curving line spiraling inward to a
center point, and this way the number is associated with the
heart, either literally the organ at the center of the human
body or the center of system, such as the tree of life and its
association with the family and home.
It echoes the mother, father, Child, Trinity of #3, the last
number in the previous cycle of three.
Number six encompasses a heady brew of idealism and emotional
sensitivity. 3 twos are 6. It can bring to the surface
pictures of an idealized world and with them the potential to
uplift us to a greater vision of who we are.
The other side of the coin, however, is its obsession and
addiction. The beauty of the incoming light
can go to our head and we can mistake the ideal picture of a
more beautiful world for reality.
And then the Star of David shows two complete cycles of three
superimposed and a perfect counterpoint.
And the Star of David is what is associated with six in
numerology. Beautiful, so apply this energy
to your life. Our Kingdom has now been opened,
the Lolli. Welcome to the Kingdom of
Lollipop. The lollipop gates of candy
canes and Dicks and Dicks. Geminis like let's just say
Gemini needs to get laid, hopefully.
I get laid all the time. I get good Dick.
That's why I like to talk about it.
Hopefully he's right to lay that pipe when you hop off the call
'cause we need to know. I already got I already got
piped down today, but I can get piped down again.
I'm into it. Wow.
Let's go, let's go. OK, well, that's enough for
everyone in class today. We will adjourn this meeting and
we will see you all again in two weeks, baby.
See. You next time, Bye, he says.
She's so sweet, like a rapper, like a lollipop, lollipop,
lollipop, lollipop, lollipop.