1
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:16,400
Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, 
hosted by Rampage and Gemini. 

2
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:34,240
Welcome back to another episode 
of Look It Like a Lollipop here 

3
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:39,720
in Candyland, Jim and I. 
It's just me and her tonight, 

4
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:44,400
but we have a lot of new people 
that are going to be coming on 

5
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:48,800
to the podcast, so we're ready. 
Yeah, we were just joking that 

6
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,720
everything's an arrow with us 
because we went when we first 

7
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,080
started the podcast, had guests,
then we're like, fuck, y'all, 

8
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:59,040
we're going to be solo and now 
we're like, actually we have hot

9
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,480
bitches and we should invite 
them on podcast. 

10
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:08,160
So if you're hot and we like you
and we just casually scroll by 

11
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,560
and like your content, you're 
probably going to get an e-mail 

12
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:15,280
from us after we make derogatory
sexual comments about you and 

13
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,880
our text messages and talk about
how fucking fine you are and be 

14
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,200
like nice ass. 
And then we'll e-mail you very 

15
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,360
professionally. 
Honestly, I'm really excited to 

16
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,120
bring people on to give the 
podcast like a different 

17
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,360
perspective and like a little 
spice. 

18
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,280
Our last guest that we just had,
very spicy. 

19
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,200
I feel like I'm just ready to 
bring on that spice world baby. 

20
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,760
Like where y'all at come through
the woodwork? 

21
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,080
Well, yeah. 
And like we're finding a lot of 

22
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,320
people whose vibe just really 
aligns with ours. 

23
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:50,080
Right now it feels like for a 
minute we were like, no new 

24
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,720
friends. 
We're doing our own thing, we're

25
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:56,120
establishing our own stuff and 
and figuring out what our energy

26
00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:00,120
is together. 
And now we're super comfortable 

27
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,920
in that and growing and 
expanding. 

28
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:04,840
You know what I like about that,
though? 

29
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:09,840
Is like, it only happens as 
you're building that you find 

30
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,120
what's gonna work, what's not 
gonna work, what you're ready 

31
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,520
for, what you're not ready for. 
And I think in the beginning we 

32
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:21,200
were still trying to get our 
flow and, like, be in unison 

33
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,360
together. 
So then throwing in extra 

34
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:29,840
energies was not ever. 
Was not about Speaking of 

35
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,160
throwing in extra energies are 
yous having selfies of yourself 

36
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,760
while we're recording. 
I was going to get us on video, 

37
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,800
but then I didn't realize my 
sound was on and then I had to 

38
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,920
block someone because they dudes
get so salty that if you don't 

39
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:46,600
like reply to them then they 
start saying mean things to get 

40
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,080
your attention. 
And so this dude has been in my 

41
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:53,320
inbox on Snapchat for like. 
X amount of time and I just keep

42
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,640
leaving him on red. 
So now his latest and greatest 

43
00:02:56,640 --> 00:03:00,920
was that my lips are too much as
if I give a fuck what his 

44
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:04,880
receiving hairline has to say. 
He didn't think about that while

45
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,200
he was in your inbox trying to 
get you to put it around his 

46
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,080
shaft. 
But I digress. 

47
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,640
I don't know what his zeal was 
like well. 

48
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:19,960
I don't know why, he thought. 
That was going to get my 

49
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,360
attention. 
Now I just blocked you. 

50
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:24,000
Like now you never get any 
interaction because I'm blocking

51
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,520
you quickly. 
When you called me earlier, I 

52
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,720
was in the car with my daughter 
and we were going to the store 

53
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,400
and after we got off of that 
call, she was like, wow, she is 

54
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,040
so cute. 
She is my new favoritest friend 

55
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,160
of yours. 
And I was like, OK, And then 

56
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,560
we're walking through the store 
and she's like, you tell her men

57
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:49,760
are trash. 
You know, I think that I have no

58
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:55,600
expectation of anyone, and I 
just want to align with people 

59
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,960
that it's like, easy to align 
with them. 

60
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,640
You know what I mean? 
Like I don't want connections 

61
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,400
that feel forced or connections 
that feel like there's a lot of 

62
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,200
pressure or expectations. 
Like, I just want things that 

63
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:12,240
feel like freedom. 
And like, does it feel at peace 

64
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,160
to be in your life, or to be 
friends with you, or to date 

65
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,880
you, or whatever, and so many 
people. 

66
00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:21,200
People are so used to like chaos
and trauma and like living in 

67
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,400
that energy that like, they 
don't know what it's like to 

68
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,800
have a healthy communication 
with someone who's literally not

69
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,560
tripping, that you blew them off
or that you had something come 

70
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,240
up and instead of like reaching 
out and being like, hey, 

71
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,800
something came up tonight, I 
can't do this. 

72
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,960
People will just avoid the whole
conversation and make it 

73
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,080
something bigger than it needs 
to be. 

74
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,560
And I think that like just being
in my own energy, I've learned 

75
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,800
that like. 
Like, I need peace. 

76
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,160
I need freedom in my friendships
and in my connection. 

77
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,320
Like, I don't want someone to 
think that because I didn't text

78
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,520
them for a week that that means 
I'm mad at them. 

79
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:03,280
Those are people, I feel like, 
who have probably like words of 

80
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:07,080
affirmation, love languages, and
they'll second guess. 

81
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:11,320
If you're not giving them like 
lip service and telling them and

82
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,560
like checking in with them and 
making them feel appreciated in 

83
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:21,600
that way, I have people who I've
noticed recently are their love.

84
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:26,520
Language is like spending time 
together and I've always thought

85
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,360
of that as like a couples thing.
But like there are people where 

86
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,600
like if you're not hanging out 
with them then they feel like 

87
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,840
you don't like them or like 
don't value them or whatever. 

88
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,960
And I am so not a come hang out 
with you type person like I'll 

89
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,360
sit here, I'll text you, I'll 
talk to you, I'll FaceTime with 

90
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,600
you. 
I don't want to put pants on. 

91
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,760
I'm going to show up to your 
house just looking like a bum. 

92
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,040
I hope that you already have 
snacks. 

93
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,280
I'll bring coffees. 
Like I I don't know. 

94
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,520
I don't like hanging out in 
person that much and I am 

95
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:01,200
attracting people, people. 
I am like a wave of both. 

96
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,600
I really like having no 
commitments. 

97
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,360
So I've been trying to make a 
pledge to myself to, like, not 

98
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,520
have something planned every 
free moment of my life. 

99
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,040
Like just because, like I have 
nothing planned doesn't mean I 

100
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,880
can't go do something. 
It's just like. 

101
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,960
I'm finding that when I commit 
to things way beforehand, that 

102
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,080
when it boils down to going, I 
don't want to go. 

103
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,720
Like I'll know about the event 
for six months. 

104
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,080
And then when it gets to the 
day, I'm like, no, I really 

105
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,360
don't want to go. 
And so I'm trying to give 

106
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:36,040
myself, like, wiggle room to 
just be like, maybe like, I 

107
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,200
don't know, I I'm thankful that 
you invited me, but I'm not 

108
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:43,200
committed right now. 
Yeah, well you're in your 

109
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,760
commitment free era. 
You don't have to commit to 

110
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:50,280
anything dude you like. 
You just can live your life like

111
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,720
a fucking seagull and go and do 
whatever you want to. 

112
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,120
Like you're Oh yeah, no problem.
I'll just go ahead and and I'll 

113
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,520
plan that trip and I'll come 
visit you and we'll just go do 

114
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,960
this, that and the other. 
Like you just have to make sure 

115
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,920
that your cats are taken care of
and then you basically just fly 

116
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,400
off and go do whatever the fuck 
you want to. 

117
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,440
Yeah, it is nice. 
It is nice to consider anyone 

118
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,480
else's needs, wants or desires 
before my own. 

119
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:19,680
And I think that I am kind of in
my selfish era and like, I want 

120
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,080
to build connection with people,
but I also do not want to force 

121
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,400
connection, like, but I'm really
cool that like if something 

122
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:30,080
happened and we drifted apart 
but there was no drama, like you

123
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,000
can come back into my life and 
be like, hey, I was really going

124
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,040
through something. 
I want to be friends again. 

125
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,800
Or I'm sorry that I didn't, you 
know, speak up or be honest with

126
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,840
you. 
About something like I'm not 

127
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,720
holding grudges anymore and I'm 
definitely not holding people to

128
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:48,240
some like commitment standard. 
Like I said earlier to someone 

129
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,880
like we could just be friends 
and have no expectations and 

130
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,920
they were like, but that's not 
what I want. 

131
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,600
I'm like, I'll just let you know
like I'm chill. 

132
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,120
I'm a chill girl. 
I like being chill. 

133
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,640
I don't need to be like zero to 
1000 to know someone likes me, 

134
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,320
and I also don't need. 
Like zero to 1000. 

135
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,520
If someone has a lot going on in
their life, I sure as hell don't

136
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,160
want me to be above what you 
already need to be doing. 

137
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,120
You know, like people who like, 
get a new relationship and then 

138
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,960
neglect their priorities, or 
stop going to the gym, or stop 

139
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,360
seeing their kid on the weekends
or whatever. 

140
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,120
Like I never want to be that 
girl that steps into your life 

141
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,360
and then demands all of your 
time and attention. 

142
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,080
I feel like when it comes to 
people stepping back into my 

143
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:36,960
life, I genuinely AM pretty open
about receiving apologies too. 

144
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,679
Like, especially if people like,
even if they have been fucked 

145
00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,400
up, if they can own the fact 
that, like, I recognize these 

146
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:49,520
things and whatever, I'm not 
going to have open trust of that

147
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,280
person. 
I won't have them in my inner 

148
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,120
circle of anything. 
But I would so much rather have 

149
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:59,040
something squashed and move 
forward and be like, OK, cool. 

150
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,400
Like if I need to take 
accountability and anything, I 

151
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,240
will. 
You're owning your shit. 

152
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,760
You're just growing, whatever, 
recognizing that you hurt 

153
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,440
somebody else. 
Like, I'll give the freedom and 

154
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,600
the space for that. 
But The thing is that there 

155
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:16,160
aren't a lot of people who don't
lead with pride in their life 

156
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:21,200
and that are open about sharing.
If they have like, that growing 

157
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,360
moment and taking accountability
and being like, I'm sorry, like 

158
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:28,520
that takes big balls. 
So if people do that, then I'm 

159
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,880
like, OK, cool. 
And I can agree with that. 

160
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,240
I do think that there's a space 
to, like, accept apologies and 

161
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,320
then still not rock with that 
person, though. 

162
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,640
So like the people who have 
wronged me, there's a slim 

163
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,720
chance that I'm trying to rock 
with them again, that I'll take 

164
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,520
your apology. 
But I'm thinking like. 

165
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,680
When you're trying to build new 
connections with people, people 

166
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,960
go balls to the wall with the 
expectations. 

167
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,240
You know what I mean? 
Like me and you met and built a 

168
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,760
bond long before we dedicated 
commitment to. 

169
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,960
Starting a brand or you know, a 
podcast together, like I feel 

170
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,080
like that takes commitment. 
And it's like, are you that 

171
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,400
committed to your own goals and 
dreams? 

172
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,720
Because if you are, then that's 
a good sign that we could collab

173
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:14,200
or make, you know, mutual goals.
But I think that a lot of people

174
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,640
like go somewhere and they 
expect someone who doesn't take 

175
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,400
care of their own needs or their
own self to like all of a sudden

176
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:24,080
take care of them or nurture 
them. 

177
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,520
And it's like maybe if they 
don't nurture themselves. 

178
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,040
They sure as hell are not going 
to know how to nurture you. 

179
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:34,320
So I've recognized that. 
I've kind of been that person 

180
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,040
and I've been calling it now 
like since I've had this break 

181
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,200
and I've had time to self 
reflect like the captain, save a

182
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,840
home mentality. 
And we've talked about before, 

183
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:48,680
like, if there's somebody who I 
feel like I could help them with

184
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:53,160
this or like, I see so much 
potential in this and I want to 

185
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,160
help them because I see what 
they could be. 

186
00:10:55,400 --> 00:11:02,800
I feel like I put so much energy
into trying to help them, like, 

187
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:07,120
grow and whatever, instead of 
being like, hey, you need to put

188
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,760
in all of this work before I'm 
going to step in and like, help 

189
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:15,360
with that goal or whatever. 
And so I feel like that is a big

190
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:19,640
lesson that a lot of people 
don't ever actually realize and 

191
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,480
go through. 
And that's why people will feel 

192
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,880
so drained. 
Because it took me literally 

193
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:27,120
taking that three-week break off
of my business and being like, 

194
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,840
no, like I'm just going to focus
on like my life and not doing 

195
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,440
any of that. 
That I realized and you know, 

196
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,240
you and I were texting and I'm 
like, whoa, been putting all the

197
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,880
energy into like these things 
over here that don't even, 

198
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,880
they're not even my fucking 
business. 

199
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,200
They're just trying to help 
somebody else and causing so 

200
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:49,280
much stress, you know? 
I think a lot of the time what 

201
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,840
it is, is like when we were down
and out, it would have been nice

202
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,080
for someone to reach out and 
then like, hey, I can help you, 

203
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,680
I can guide you, I can you know,
do this for you. 

204
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,280
But it's funny that you would 
mention that cause a close 

205
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:05,320
friend of mine attracts a lot of
people that want to use him. 

206
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,920
Like whether it's just like 
10-15 dollars here or oh, I 

207
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,920
really want to go to that 
concert but I don't have a 

208
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,560
ticket. 
Like it doesn't matter what it 

209
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,840
is. 
And he also does that where he's

210
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,760
like, oh, I'll pay for it. 
Oh, I got you. 

211
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,880
But then it's like people like 
me, like his. 

212
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,640
I said, So what do I need to be 
your broke bestie so you'll pay 

213
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,520
for my stuff? 
Like he buys all these people 

214
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,280
stuff who don't show up for him.
And then that drains him so much

215
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,040
from actually giving back to the
people that he does care about, 

216
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,680
not that it has to be 
financially, but energetically. 

217
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,320
So last night I guess at like 
two or three in the morning, one

218
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,960
of these. 
Hoes from the Instagram world 

219
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,440
called him on Instagram or 
called his phone and was like, 

220
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:49,960
hey, I'm stranded, my car's on E
and I don't have any gas, OK, 

221
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,520
like, OK, so he was like, she 
was asking if I could give her 

222
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,040
$3. 
He was like, so I felt like I 

223
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,720
should just give her ten, he 
said. 

224
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,080
But if she doesn't pay me back, 
I'm done. 

225
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,840
I'm like, no, what you need to 
do is block her. 

226
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,000
And I was like, you're acting 
like captain, save a hoe. 

227
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,960
Like you need to block this 
bitch for one. 

228
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,400
He tried to help her many times,
but she keeps doing the dumb 

229
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,440
shit and then giving him some 
stories of why her life is a hot

230
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,440
mess. 
And it's like your life is a hot

231
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:22,760
mess because of you. 
And I literally feel less and 

232
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:27,800
less sympathy for people who are
grown adults doing nothing to 

233
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:34,400
change their scenario. 
That's because there are a lot 

234
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:38,280
of people who have a really like
giving nature and like, we can 

235
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,360
talk shit about like, I like, I 
can say I don't like humans and 

236
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,600
whatever, you know, all day long
and that people are selfish. 

237
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,160
But at the end of the day, there
are a lot of people who are 

238
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,160
really giving, like nurturing 
people and will give from 

239
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,760
themselves to the point that 
they don't have something 

240
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,280
because they want to see those 
around them like be better. 

241
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:01,840
And I feel like at the root of 
that is a lot of like people 

242
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,240
pleasing trauma. 
And I think that like our 

243
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:10,800
generation and especially right 
before us went through the being

244
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,800
very guilted about every little 
thing. 

245
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,200
And you have this because I've 
done this or done that. 

246
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:20,240
And so it makes people want to 
be like, I don't want to see 

247
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,960
anybody else go through that. 
So I'm going to fix this thing. 

248
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:27,120
And that correlates back to what
you said about like helping 

249
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:31,240
people out like business wise, 
brand wise, whatever, because we

250
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,800
wish that there would have just 
been somebody who would like 

251
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,400
taken our hand and helped us. 
But at the end of the day, there

252
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,000
really wasn't and we didn't have
that. 

253
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:44,880
And, you know, I think that we 
do a lot more than that than was

254
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,920
given to us, but it also doesn't
mean that it's like our personal

255
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,000
responsibility to put in the 
work for everybody else. 

256
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,760
Honestly, that's like the 
biggest trauma response is to 

257
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,760
try to like support people in 
ways that you wanted to be 

258
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,720
supported. 
And I see that all of the time. 

259
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,280
I've had clients come to me 
recently and there's like people

260
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,480
putting all these burdens on to 
them or expectations on to them 

261
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,560
and making it feel like it's 
their responsibility to fix this

262
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,880
issue. 
And I'm just like the only 

263
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,600
people I really have sympathy 
for is like children and 

264
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,880
animals. 
Like I'm sick of grown 20304050 

265
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:25,680
year old people. 
Acting like a child that needs 

266
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:29,040
to be coddled and told what to 
do, but then when you tell them 

267
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,560
what to do and how to do it, 
they don't want to do that. 

268
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,320
You're being aggressive, you're 
being mean. 

269
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:37,280
You know you're expecting them 
to show up and they don't want 

270
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:41,840
to show up. 
And that's what is so difficult 

271
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,560
when you're growing and healing 
is like, where do you draw the 

272
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:50,320
line like between being? 
Kind of cold or like turned off 

273
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:54,240
by that. 
Or getting into that savior 

274
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,480
complex where you feel like you 
need to save people and help 

275
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,800
people. 
Or it's like bad karma for you 

276
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,040
or like. 
And what is this teaching me? 

277
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:06,520
You know, a lot of us have sole 
ties with people and we don't 

278
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,640
realize why. 
We don't realize why this 

279
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,240
person's in our life. 
And a lot of time it's so you 

280
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,560
can hold firm on your boundaries
and you can say no, even when 

281
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,760
it's hard to do that, even when 
it's difficult to have those 

282
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,360
conversations. 
Like that's a part of your sole 

283
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,160
tie is to stand up to that 
person. 

284
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,560
Yeah, absolutely. 
And then 'cause it teaches you, 

285
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,920
like, certain values that you're
supposed to have inside of your 

286
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,400
life and like, certain strengths
to have. 

287
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,760
I think that one of our soul 
ties, you and I, is you're 

288
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:43,600
helping me expand with 
communication because I don't 

289
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:48,680
have anxiety from podcast 
conversations anymore. 

290
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,840
I used to have them really bad, 
even when I did Coven, and then 

291
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:56,200
it was especially difficult when
it was you and I Co hosting 

292
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,400
something, especially the first 
round of us doing guests. 

293
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:05,520
And I don't have anxiety or 
nervousness about when we film 

294
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,000
the podcast anymore. 
I'm not nervous about us having 

295
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,319
guests or speaking or or 
whatever. 

296
00:17:11,319 --> 00:17:13,920
And that's something I think 
that you've helped me a lot 

297
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,839
with, is being confident in 
communication. 

298
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,599
And also for some reason, 
because I think it's just 

299
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:25,720
because like, I am like an 
assertive communicator and a lot

300
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,160
of things. 
But like direct assertiveness 

301
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,840
where I feel like I'm going to 
let somebody down or like 

302
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,000
disappoint them or something has
always been an issue for me. 

303
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,360
And that is your strength where 
you'll be like, we're not doing 

304
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,520
that tonight, that's really not 
Gemini 6. 

305
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,240
So we're going to reschedule 
that or like whatever it is 

306
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,320
you're like, this is the point. 
And so I'm more comfortable 

307
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,400
speaking those things for myself
now, too. 

308
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,360
And let's just say Gemini has 
been emailing so many amazing 

309
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:54,560
guests from Tiktok and 
Instagram. 

310
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,960
Like, we have some really boss 
people coming onto the podcast. 

311
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,680
And what's really cool is like 
we've been networking so much 

312
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,560
that we're like shocked at how 
quickly people are replying and 

313
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:10,520
committing and scheduling dates.
And we have several people 

314
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,560
already scheduled coming up. 
So I'm really looking forward to

315
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,760
like. 
Bringing in more dynamic energy 

316
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,960
and bringing in people who are 
in their own arena, their own 

317
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,720
spotlight, their own creativity,
whatever journey that they're on

318
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,240
and being able to. 
Talk to them in a way that 

319
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,640
channels that into like their 
true expression. 

320
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,760
Cause a lot of people bring you 
on their podcast and they like 

321
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,120
wanna talk about certain things.
But I feel like giving people an

322
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:41,720
open mic to like share their 
journey and their story. 

323
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,400
The good, the bad, the ugly. 
It's like really nice and 

324
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:49,320
refreshing and I'm like it's 
crazy because it's like so many 

325
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,360
people are somewhere open to it 
than you would expect if you 

326
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,920
shoot your shot. 
A lot of people are like. 

327
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,760
They feel honored that we ask 
them, right? 

328
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,760
Like, they feel honored that 
we're inviting them. 

329
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,800
And, like, I feel honored that 
they're even reading our 

330
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,760
messages. 
So yeah, there's some we get an 

331
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,680
e-mail back from like, Oh my 
God, did you just see that? 

332
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,280
That person just emailed us 
back. 

333
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:15,120
Like, I can't even believe this 
is like, we're so excited And I 

334
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:18,920
don't know. 
I really feel like there's some 

335
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:24,440
shit that we have. 
I keep seeing signs of Aaron 

336
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,520
every time that we make a big 
move. 

337
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,800
And I don't know if that's 
something that you've been 

338
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:33,360
seeing also. 
But I will like all of a sudden 

339
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:37,200
there will be like an Aaron 
video pop up on my TikTok or 

340
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,920
there will be something on 
Instagram or there'll be the 

341
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,280
candy song in the car or just 
something like super every 

342
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:49,800
single time. 
And I feel like because we we're

343
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,240
doing things from such like a 
genuine space of like we want to

344
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,920
talk about like the positive. 
Our whole aim has been we don't 

345
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,720
want to talk to the people with 
traumatic histories about their 

346
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,960
traumatic histories because 
that's what everybody else is 

347
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,840
doing. 
We want to talk about all the 

348
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,160
other amazing things that this 
person doesn't get to share 

349
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,000
about. 
And that's what we wanted to do 

350
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
with him. 
And I feel like he's bringing us

351
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:18,400
almost like these guests that we
can live out that purpose with, 

352
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,720
that we couldn't live out with. 
Yeah, I mean, I've really been 

353
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,800
feeling like his energy a lot, 
'cause it was like the 

354
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,480
anniversary of his death. 
But I also just feel like it's 

355
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:31,920
just super significant because 
we've been growing and elevating

356
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,600
and like even though there's 
been obstacles and roadblocks 

357
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,280
and setbacks and like things 
like that, it's like there's 

358
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,360
always another day to try again.
And I think with like Aaron, you

359
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,200
know, he had so much to offer 
the world. 

360
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,640
We're all talking about Aaron 
Carter. 

361
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,400
So you all know, but Aaron 
Carter had a lot to offer the 

362
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,680
world, but drugs and negative 
people and his environment and, 

363
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:56,720
you know, trauma and things that
he had really been consuming 

364
00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:01,160
were overtaking him. 
But, you know, I think that as 

365
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,440
we grow and as we elevate, 
there's going to be an 

366
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,280
opportunity for that, I think to
come full circle, like you said.

367
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:12,280
But also like we never saw it as
like, damn, we missed our 

368
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,960
publicity shot or we missed our 
shot like, we saw it as like, 

369
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,960
wow, this man really was in 
pain. 

370
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,720
He really was hurting. 
The people around him were not 

371
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,960
good for him. 
Like you cannot tell me that 

372
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,280
this man drowned in the bathtub 
with all his clothes on. 

373
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,440
I'm sorry. 
Like people put you in the 

374
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,160
bathtub when you're overdosing 
or when they've done something 

375
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,800
to you. 
Like any celebrity that was 

376
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,840
found in the bathtub with their 
clothes on did not kill 

377
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:40,320
themselves. 
We specifically didn't do 

378
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:44,080
anything for publicity like it 
took us, it took him passing 

379
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,720
away. 
For us to be like we were going 

380
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,600
to have him on the podcast and 
like this was going to be a 

381
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:53,360
thing and and. 
Yeah, it is different for us 

382
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:57,800
because we waited so long to 
have him on, because we wanted 

383
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,400
to have him on talking about his
healings and his inspirations. 

384
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:06,040
We didn't want him having baby 
Mama drama and custody things 

385
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,200
and. 
And all that like difficult 

386
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,800
stuff that he was going through 
and we've even I mean we have a 

387
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,560
lot of new listeners here. 
But like we've even called out 

388
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:19,160
people in the past who there 
were so many mediums on TikTok 

389
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,720
and stuff after he passed that 
were like I'm I'm channeling him

390
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,520
and reading his family and this 
is everything you know, whatever

391
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,360
and. 
Anyways, I just think that his 

392
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,840
hand is on. 
So there's so much now that 

393
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,560
we're gonna be getting to do in 
ways that we're gonna get to 

394
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:40,440
expand with guests that he would
have been the OG person we would

395
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,880
have done that with. 
You know what I mean? 

396
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,160
Yeah, I'm really looking forward
to it, 'cause I feel like right 

397
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,320
now we like, went through a lot 
of changes. 

398
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,040
I feel like we've aired out, had
a lot of closure with things 

399
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,000
that have happened with us, and 
just like putting that energy 

400
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,280
out there and letting it go. 
I think we both learn like how 

401
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,040
draining the wrong people in our
life or in our communities can 

402
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,360
truly be. 
A lot of people do not know 

403
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,720
boundaries. 
They get into a spiritual 

404
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,200
community or really any type of 
community and their spirit is 

405
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:14,400
there to divide, to create 
opposing forces and cycles. 

406
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,280
And I feel like we've just 
really been tested. 

407
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,560
And there's been a lot of times 
that, you know, we've both been 

408
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,920
really busy, but we've made time
for the podcast. 

409
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,640
And I feel like getting the 
guest is like the next era, the 

410
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,520
next chapter of our podcast. 
And I feel like, you know, we've

411
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:36,040
already overcome the hurdle. 
Like most podcasts don't make it

412
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:40,040
past 10 episodes with their 
original creators. 

413
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,760
So it's like we're already 
defying odds. 

414
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:48,200
And I'm just really excited for 
like what 2024 is gonna bring 

415
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,800
for us. 2024 is going to be on 
and fucking popping, and we've 

416
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,600
already been saying that for 
like you and I have known that 

417
00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,560
2024 is going to be the year. 
And I feel like this year was 

418
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:04,080
the year of like, experiencing 
the bullshit, learning lessons 

419
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,720
of it, and figuring out how to 
navigate and what types of 

420
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:13,200
people to spend our energy with.
We got rid of a lot of fucking 

421
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,600
snakes and our lawn looks lovely
now. 

422
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,600
And now we can, like, move 
forward. 

423
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,040
Yeah, I think I see a lot of 
things online. 

424
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:26,600
It's like you have to prepare 
your circle for what you're 

425
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,760
asking for. 
Like, not a lot of those people 

426
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,560
can go to the next chapter with 
you. 

427
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,240
So as long as they have access 
to the front row, you can't go 

428
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,040
there. 
Like, you're giving the wrong 

429
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,440
people backstage all access 
passes. 

430
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,640
And they need to stay out in the
crowd and be in the Nosebleed, 

431
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,800
you know what I mean? 
Like, they can watch, but they 

432
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,640
need to watch from a distance. 
And I've just been seeing so 

433
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,920
many people, like starting to 
follow their dreams or starting 

434
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,280
to feel inspired and like, 
follow that same thing. 

435
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,480
And I think we're just all on 
this wave of life where letting 

436
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,880
go is the only way to become who
you're meant to become. 

437
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:05,080
Oh, letting go is the only way 
to become who you're meant to 

438
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,880
become. 
I really love that. 

439
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,640
I think that's beautiful. 
And and. 

440
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,840
And that's something so freeing 
that you can repeat to yourself 

441
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,600
in times when you're feeling 
really anxious or overwhelmed 

442
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:19,680
and needing to be like what is 
my You just need like a mind 

443
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,120
shift sometimes. 
And like a What am I doing this 

444
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,640
for? 
Yeah, I think as long as you 

445
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,640
know your why, you don't really 
need to know the how, when, 

446
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,880
where or what. 
As long as you know your why. 

447
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,680
Like, I just want to be happy 
and at peace. 

448
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,880
Like that's my why. 
Like, that's why I do what I do.

449
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,200
That's why I entertain what I 
entertain. 

450
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,840
You know, when I let things go, 
I don't see this as like an 

451
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,520
opposing force to me. 
It's just like, that's not in 

452
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,440
alignment with me. 
You know, some people ask me, 

453
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,120
like, why do you give people 
more than one chance? 

454
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,760
Or like, why do you do this? 
Why do you do that? 

455
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,040
And it's not that I'm giving 
them more than one chance. 

456
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,480
It's just that I'm not taking 
their actions personally. 

457
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,960
I'm letting them be themselves. 
I'm letting them to get down, 

458
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,400
fall, get back up, whatever. 
But you know, the worst thing 

459
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,240
you could do is be around people
that watch you fall, get back 

460
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,960
up, dust yourself off and they 
try to push you back down. 

461
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:12,960
And that's. 
Most. 

462
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,680
I also think that, you know, 
when we're talking about having 

463
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,920
boundaries and things, I think 
that it needs to be balanced out

464
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:27,000
with grace because there are 
people who treat others like. 

465
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,920
Poorly, but it's because they 
genuinely are really struggling 

466
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,440
themselves. 
And they're not bad people. 

467
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,720
They're just overwhelmed with 
what they have going on. 

468
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,120
And we've all been those people 
too. 

469
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,920
And like, sure, there's some 
friendships that like all of us 

470
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,280
lose along the way and we're 
like, fuck, like that's the 

471
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,480
friend that got away. 
Like, I really fucked that up. 

472
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,440
But we also all have friendships
in our life where we probably 

473
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,680
weren't the best person to that 
person, and they had to give us 

474
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,120
forgiveness and be able to move.
Move on and be able to evolve 

475
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:03,280
too. 
So I I think that there needs to

476
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,600
be a really clear balance 
though, because I for a long 

477
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:12,160
time was overly forgiving about 
things and being like you just 

478
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,080
had a really hard time and 
that's OK. 

479
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:18,360
And you can overly make excuses 
for somebody to also be shitty. 

480
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:22,840
I say one time, I say, and it 
depends on the situation, but. 

481
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,760
I will give you a chance if I 
see that you were really 

482
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,680
struggling and that you take 
accountability and and come back

483
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:33,080
whatever. 
But you have to like, earn that.

484
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,160
And then if that's broken, I'll 
just never fucking speak to you 

485
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,320
again my whole life. 
I don't know, maybe I'm talking 

486
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,960
like more casual interaction, 
not like people that I felt like

487
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,720
I was vulnerable or open to, you
know what I mean? 

488
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,080
But like, a lot of people would 
just be like, oh, they didn't 

489
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,280
text me, they didn't tell me 
happy birthday. 

490
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,000
They didn't tell me Happy 
Easter. 

491
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000
Fuck them. 
You know, Like, I just don't 

492
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,240
take little shit like that to 
the cleaners, like to the bank, 

493
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,760
like in cash. 
Why would you have? 

494
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,920
Expectations on people like that
that aren't. 

495
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,360
Close people inside of your 
space. 

496
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:07,160
If I fucking meet you at 
Starbucks and you get my number 

497
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,320
and then you text me three times
and I don't respond because like

498
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,080
I didn't have my phone while I 
was pooping or something, like 

499
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,520
I'm blocking your number and I 
will never go to that Starbucks 

500
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,120
again, you're fucking weird. 
I don't know. 

501
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:22,400
I just feel like so many people 
are like living in the cut off 

502
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,000
era where they just cut people 
off over the dumbest shit and 

503
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,880
it's just like it's not 
personal. 

504
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:31,400
Like people get overwhelmed and 
they're in their own world and 

505
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,400
it's not personal. 
It's not directed towards you. 

506
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,400
And I think I just try to give 
people more grace. 

507
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,600
I mean if you're running around 
like don't tell Paige this or I 

508
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,240
did this to Paige or you know, 
like fuck you, like fuck you, 

509
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,040
you're not cool. 
But if you're just like living 

510
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:51,040
in your own world and, you know,
make plans and like forget we 

511
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,680
had plans or just like goofy 
stuff, like it's different that 

512
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,400
people are like I'm on the way 
and then they don't show up, 

513
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,200
Like that's different. 
Like, don't say you're going to 

514
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,080
do something, but also like, I'm
cool with plans change. 

515
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,360
I guess I didn't get what you 
meant, because I just feel like 

516
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,760
that should be an obvious human 
expectation. 

517
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,440
Understanding. 
Oh, people would be out here 

518
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,440
really expecting people they 
barely know to get them like $50

519
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,320
Christmas presents. 
Like I was at the nail salon and

520
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:25,000
the other lady that does nails 
said that her niece sent her a 

521
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:30,160
link to a $94.00 watch that her 
niece's boyfriend wants for the 

522
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:35,080
Christmas gathering. 
She said she's met him twice. 

523
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,240
I'm you're fucking lucky if I 
get him a chocolate reindeer for

524
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:41,480
Christmas. 
I don't know him. 

525
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:43,920
That's what I said. 
I said, you know, what you need 

526
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,040
to do is just get like little 
stockings and like put some 

527
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,480
candy or something. 
Like, you know what I mean? 

528
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:53,000
Like, I've never in my fucking 
life even probably received that

529
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,000
from my own parent. 
Like the people's parents who 

530
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,760
are like, go all out. 
Like, I'm happy for you all. 

531
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,840
But like, that's never been a 
thing in my life. 

532
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,480
When I was a kid, I had to go to
Christmas, says. 

533
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,560
But as an adult, like, I just 
buy what I want. 

534
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,480
Like, I don't. 
I don't wait for someone to get 

535
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,120
it for me, but like, my own 
family's like, here's some, 

536
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,520
here's some pajamas in a fucking
coffee mug and this other 

537
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,680
fucker's like, yeah, I really 
want the new fossil wash 

538
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,880
waterproof. 
That's so funny that you say 

539
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,760
that. 
My dad texted us last night and 

540
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,680
said I need to know your 
Christmas list or everybody's 

541
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,560
getting Viking drinking horns 
and pajamas. 

542
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,480
And it's funny because when we 
don't give him Christmas lists, 

543
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,720
we get Viking drinking horns and
pajamas. 

544
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,600
So I have one. 
In the podcast room right now. 

545
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,160
Because those are like actual. 
Like he'll just be like here's a

546
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,560
fucking drinking horn in a pair 
of pajamas, but you already have

547
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,000
one. 
Yeah, I already have one. 

548
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:54,160
He's already gifted. 
That or like Brian, the other 

549
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,160
when my parents were just here 
for Halloween. 

550
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,000
He was like, you got, he was 
wearing some pajamas. 

551
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,040
They got him last year and he's 
like, I'm going to need you guys

552
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:05,760
to give me some more pairs of 
pajamas because these are my 

553
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,120
favorite ones and I've been 
wearing them almost every night 

554
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,960
for a year. 
So I need a new set. 

555
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,720
I mean, whatever clothes go, but
like, that's my family. 

556
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,120
They're like here's the bath and
body works set that you didn't 

557
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:22,040
want. 
No, I never know what to say. 

558
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,320
My dad would be like, what do 
you want? 

559
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,760
And I'm like. 
Truly, everything that I want, I

560
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:31,240
budget for and I get for myself.
So like, I'd I'm like, I don't 

561
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,120
know what to say, Ron. 
Wants a gift card to a gold and 

562
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,920
silver shop. 
That's what you want. 

563
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,560
That's what Brian wants. 
He's like, give me a gift card 

564
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,040
to a gold and silver shop and be
like, what did he say? 

565
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:45,320
He goes, he goes, just get me, 
why don't you just for 

566
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,520
Christmas, why don't you just 
get me a gift card to the gold 

567
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,040
and silver shop down there. 
And when you get that for me, 

568
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,520
I'll be like, Oh my God, my wife
loves me so much. 

569
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,920
She knows me and she knew that I
would want to go down there and 

570
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,080
I would want to go and get gold 
and silver for Christmas. 

571
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:04,000
So she got me this gift card 
because that she just knows me. 

572
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
And all right, I'll do that for 
you then. 

573
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,120
She just knows me. 
You know, I perfectly need some 

574
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,520
new knives for my kitchen. 
That's like the only thing I 

575
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,080
really need and that's what I 
want. 

576
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,040
I have a Martha Stewart knife 
set that's actually pretty nice,

577
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,840
but you have to sharpen the 
fucking knives. 

578
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,280
I listen. 
Maybe I'm just like a spoiled 

579
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:29,160
person or something, but growing
up, my knives were just always 

580
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,640
sharp in my mom's kitchen. 
I didn't realize that like, as 

581
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,200
an adult, you have to sharpen 
your own fucking knives. 

582
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,720
And so I've been like this piece
of shit little knife set. 

583
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,920
Like, fuck you Martha Stewart. 
But really, it's because I 

584
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,360
needed to sharpen those knives. 
And so Brian went in there and 

585
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,760
sharpens them all. 
I could fucking decapitate a man

586
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:52,000
with one swift chop. 
Yeah, I always end up getting 

587
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,880
knives that like overtime. 
They just are like cheap handles

588
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,640
or cheap. 
Like your mother. 

589
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,600
So I just need a little 
something to spice up my life. 

590
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,840
You spice up my life, Polly 
Pocket with your little razzle 

591
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:11,720
dazzle my Christmas tree. 
I know, it's so pink. 

592
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,400
For those that are not watching 
on Patreon because you fucking 

593
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,760
suck. 
Paige's Christmas tree is pink. 

594
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:22,040
Her little shirt is hot pink. 
She is living her best Barbie 

595
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:26,400
world. 
I have a velour jacket on. 

596
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,280
It's lavender. 
It's soft. 

597
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:36,560
Is that is that a southern 
pronunciation or a Poly pocket 

598
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,400
pronunciation? 
That's Southern, baby. 

599
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:45,080
Southern. 
I can't take you seriously. 

600
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,720
What? 
There's so many people in this 

601
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:59,040
world that have no clue how 
draining Christmas can be for 

602
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,640
someone who's an empath and 
someone who's sensitive. 

603
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,960
Because right now there is so 
much discontent in the world. 

604
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,719
Whether it's like you're missing
someone, you don't have the 

605
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,719
money or the funds that you 
think you need just like so 

606
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,880
much. 
And I'm really feeling like so 

607
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,520
much heavy energy coming from 
people, clients, friends, 

608
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,639
family, like just beyond. 
Like, everyone's really dealing 

609
00:34:20,639 --> 00:34:23,000
with some shit right now. 
And it's really important to, 

610
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:27,480
like, be nice, hold the door for
someone, Give the homeless 

611
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,440
person $5. 
It does not matter what they 

612
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,360
spend it on. 
Like, just be nice right now. 

613
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:37,040
Because if you have a phone, a 
home, a car, whatever, you're 

614
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,000
doing really fucking good. 
And you need to stop acting like

615
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,600
you need to do more. 
Because right now people are 

616
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,520
struggling. 
It gets cold outside, people are

617
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,960
sleeping outside. 
Like, there's just so much going

618
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,320
on. 
And I just feel like it's time 

619
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,520
to really count those blessings 
and like, live in gratitude. 

620
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:58,480
Find your space in your center 
to soak in like the littlest 

621
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:03,160
things in life right now. 
Also too, I feel like having 

622
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,120
patience with people in the 
grocery stores right now too. 

623
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,200
Your go. 
I went there with my daughter 

624
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,480
today and we were having a 
conversation because so many 

625
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,680
people looked. 
Really stressed, looked really 

626
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:19,600
anxious, were stalling more than
usual, looking at like the price

627
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,560
of everything and whatever. 
And she and I were just being 

628
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,480
super patient, doing what we 
needed to do. 

629
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,920
And I was like, there are people
who probably are really stressed

630
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,040
out about being able to buy 
groceries for the holidays, 

631
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,320
trying to figure out what to do,
whatever. 

632
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,880
And so I was talking to her 
about like. 

633
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,760
Budgeting and going in with 
patients and recognizing what 

634
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,920
other people are going through. 
But I think that during the 

635
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,000
holidays especially, we're like,
I just want to get in. 

636
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,920
I want to get my fucking Turkey,
I want to get out and you know, 

637
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,520
have everything that I need. 
And we go about things anxiously

638
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,760
and don't think about the 
experience of those around us 

639
00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,120
and why people are going really 
slow or, you know, whatever. 

640
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:06,800
I think a lot of people are in 
like, hurry, Like people wait 

641
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,560
till the last minute to get 
things too. 

642
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,400
And like then the grocery store 
is out of it. 

643
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,840
I made a pledge to not need to 
go to the grocery store this 

644
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,240
week, like get everything I 
needed. 

645
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,480
Last week I went to Sam's. 
I I like, did the things, 'cause

646
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,440
I did not want to deal with that
crowd. 

647
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,880
I just like plan ahead where 
when you can too. 

648
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,120
Like if you know that makes you 
anxious, 'cause it does me. 

649
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,200
I planned ahead, and I know 
that's not ideal for everyone, 

650
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,040
but just think about things like
that, you know? 

651
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:38,960
Like I personally would rather 
know what I'm walking into, then

652
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,200
go into a fucking clusterfuck 
and be like, damn, I should have

653
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,400
got this done. 
I personally don't know how 

654
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,360
people go grocery shopping 
without having a fucking list 

655
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,080
because if you just send me into
a store and you're like, you 

656
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:57,640
need to get food to feed you 
guys this week, I'm like, OK. 

657
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,400
But so I have to go in with a 
list, because then I can be like

658
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,640
do, do, do, do, do. 
And then I'm not annoyed by Jack

659
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,360
shit because I know what I'm 
coming in here for. 

660
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:07,840
You fucking look at the ground 
beef. 

661
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:09,120
I'll look at the ground beef 
next. 

662
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,640
It'll still be beefing. 
We'll still do our thing, 

663
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,880
hanging out. 
Also going to the grocery store 

664
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:19,280
when I have like a slight blaze 
is fire. 

665
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:23,120
Like, I don't want to be in 
public sober, but if I can get 

666
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:28,040
just a little tiny bit litty 
before I go, that is excellent. 

667
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,960
You know, I like going in with 
the list too. 

668
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:34,520
I I type it in on my notes on my
phone and then I delete it as I 

669
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:38,040
go and like sometimes I'll 
forget or add stuff, you know 

670
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,080
what I mean? 
But like for the majority, most 

671
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,760
part, I know like the core 
things are going in there for 

672
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,760
and then like other little extra
add-ons like, oh, I might grab 

673
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:49,120
Taco sauce or whatever like 
something random, I'll grab it. 

674
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,000
But I try to go in with the list
too. 

675
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,760
I think like being organized in 
that sense is important because 

676
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,120
the fucking grocery stores are 
hot mess sometimes. 

677
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,760
And honestly, it just kind of 
depends on where what time you 

678
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,040
go. 
I feel like anytime in the 

679
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,640
afternoon between like four and 
six is the worst time. 

680
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,280
It's like the gym. 
It's the worst fucking time to 

681
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,320
do anything is between those two
hours. 

682
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,280
I think that we grocery shopped 
very well together when we were 

683
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,280
in Moab. 
We had our fucking list. 

684
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:24,040
We took off in separate 
directions, got the things that 

685
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,680
we needed, met up. 
I thought that was very 

686
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,480
seamless. 
And then our total was, what, 

687
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,320
222 even something like that. 
It was, yeah, it was an Angel 

688
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:33,200
number. 
It's great. 

689
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,920
You know, we did good. 
You cooked good. 

690
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,440
You cooked all all the food. 
Cooked all the fucking food. 

691
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:44,720
I'm going to try my hand at 
macaroni and cheese again 

692
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,360
because this will only be my 
hundredth time and it always 

693
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,360
turns out like white girl Mac 
and cheese. 

694
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:55,520
And I realized that somebody 
told me it's because I'm baking 

695
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,360
it too long after I make like my
cheese sauce. 

696
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:03,520
And basically my cheese is like 
my thing is separating and so 

697
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,640
it's called like breaking your 
sauce or some shit like that. 

698
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,080
So I'm going to try something 
different. 

699
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:14,560
And I bought some plastic 
Velveeta to put in there too. 

700
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,960
And plastic makes everything 
taste good, so it should be 

701
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,360
delicious. 
It's Velveeta. 

702
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,000
So you just joke that. 
It's like the plastic cheese. 

703
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,480
You lost me. 
I was like, what? 

704
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:32,000
Yeah, no, it was a joke about 
being a fucking American and all

705
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,320
of our food being processed and 
something else. 

706
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,560
You know, I really don't even 
fuck with Mac and cheese for. 

707
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,600
I like pasta salad or something 
like that, like, but I'm not 

708
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,280
like a Mac and cheese girl at 
all. 

709
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:48,800
Well, you didn't choose to come 
here for Thanksgiving, so fuck 

710
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,160
you. 
You can't have any Mac and 

711
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:54,040
cheese anyways, you know. 
I don't even like it. 

712
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,720
It's not good. 
I'm so hoping it works out for 

713
00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:02,320
you though. 
If I made you Mac, and if I made

714
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,600
a bomb as fuck Mac and cheese, 
when we had been in Utah, you'd 

715
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,960
have slapped that down and you'd
have been like, Oh my God, this 

716
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,800
is so good. 
This is healing my mother 

717
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,120
wounds. 
You would have loved it. 

718
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:17,320
I would have ate it. 
I ate everything that you 

719
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:18,240
cooked. 
I like. 

720
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,120
I have a crazy taste bud bango 
now. 

721
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:26,040
Like I mix so many things 
together like blue cheese and 

722
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,040
olives and just different things
I never would have ate before. 

723
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:34,440
Like in blue cheese, it just 
hits different you have. 

724
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,400
Those mature taste buds? 
Because you're in your 30s. 

725
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:42,160
It's like heaven on earth. 
Or maybe it's 'cause you haven't

726
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,760
put anything fun in your mouth 
for a long time, and so now your

727
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,320
mouth gets excited by gross 
things like blue cheese and 

728
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,160
olives. 
It's like something's here. 

729
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,240
Facts. 
No. 

730
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,160
So facts. 
Y'all. 

731
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,480
I'm literally on a celibacy 
journey. 

732
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,680
I do not have sex. 
And when I say that, like I do 

733
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:07,720
not have no sneaky link, no 
hookup, like, although I'm not 

734
00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:11,200
saying I don't want to have sex.
It's just that being on a 

735
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,920
celibacy journey, it's more 
about like I'm now like 

736
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,960
demisexual or like asexual. 
Like, I really, if I don't have 

737
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,280
a super emotional connection 
going with you, I don't want to 

738
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,480
have sex with you whatsoever. 
Like, even if I'm attracted to 

739
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,920
you, type deal. 
It's like not about attraction 

740
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,440
anymore. 
It's like if I don't have a real

741
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,280
spiritual bond going on here 
with you, like if the universe 

742
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:37,000
isn't pulling me back to your 
door, like look at this person. 

743
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,360
Like this is a person, this is 
your person. 

744
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,040
Like, I can't. 
And like, it's weird. 

745
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,000
It's like, whereas I used to 
just be like, OK, what can this 

746
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,200
person do for me? 
Or what do they bring to the 

747
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,000
table? 
Or are they even just cool or 

748
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,320
whatever and be able to, like, 
have that bond with them and 

749
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,760
like them or whatever. 
But like, now it's just like, if

750
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,480
I'm not emotionally attracted to
you, it's really hard to, like, 

751
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:04,520
get my rocks on, you know? 
Yeah, and she does prefer if you

752
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:08,920
have a throat tattoo. 
See, that is so optional. 

753
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,600
You say that like it's 
mandatory. 

754
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,240
It's, it's. 
Available. 

755
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,920
There is not one. 
I cannot think of one single 

756
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,920
person that I've ever seen the 
picture or profile love that 

757
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:25,480
you've been like, Dang 
interested, that did not have a 

758
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,600
tattoo on their fucking throat. 
So you can tell me that it's 

759
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,960
that it's optional, but 
everybody's had it. 

760
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,200
OK, well look. 
It's a preference. 

761
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,760
New requirements. 
They have a throat is they could

762
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,200
get it tattooed later. 
Not that I would want them to 

763
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:47,360
force them to, but I'm just like
I'd rather people have no 

764
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:51,200
tattoos than bad tattoos. 
There's a lot of people just 

765
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,040
got. 
You remember that MTV show next 

766
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,800
where people would like go, 
you'd like have to go on dates 

767
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,560
or whatever and they'd have the 
dudes would have to like play on

768
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:03,160
the date and take you out and 
they'd be like, Oh my God, we I.

769
00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:05,120
Fuck, dude. 
That's what we're going to do 

770
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:09,880
2024. 
I want to come to Kentucky and I

771
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:13,840
want to host a dating panel for 
you, and I want to be the 

772
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,080
fucking host. 
And I want to ask all types of 

773
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:20,000
questions and I want them to 
have to prove their talents and 

774
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,560
eat papayas and all type of shit
in front of everybody. 

775
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,560
And that's how they're going to 
get graded and they have to plan

776
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,320
a date for you. 
This could be absolutely 

777
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:32,600
fantastic. 
Girl, you know it's crazy. 

778
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:37,160
But I don't know. 
I was on a dating show and then 

779
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,640
I think it got scrapped. 
They just like, never aired it, 

780
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,960
never heard nothing about it. 
Maybe it's going to show up on 

781
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:48,400
Netflix like next year after 
you've like met the love of your

782
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,800
life and you're already married 
after two months or some shit 

783
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:52,720
and you're going to be like, 
that was old me. 

784
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,120
I don't know. 
And I recorded that earlier in 

785
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:58,760
the year. 
Yeah, And then it just never. 

786
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:03,280
Who knows? 
Why so were you? 

787
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,440
You didn't stay in contact with 
anybody that like, you went on 

788
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,000
the show with. 
So like, was the show a flop? 

789
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,480
Yeah, like it was just I only 
met one dude and honestly I 

790
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,720
found out that he met 3 girls 
and I was one of them. 

791
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,760
That's fun for you. 
So do you have to, like, hand 

792
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,000
somebody a rose at the end? 
Oh, and I didn't get to see the 

793
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,920
other girls. 
You know what I mean? 

794
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:31,240
Like the other girls, huh? 
What did you do? 

795
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:37,960
We we made pottery. 
We went to this place and it was

796
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:42,080
called The Craftery and it's 
downtown in Nulu, which is like 

797
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,360
basically an Uptown part of 
downtown that's that basically 

798
00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:52,080
brushes and rims the whole hood.
Like it's basically it's like 

799
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:56,040
the hood and then this and 
they're and they're like it's 

800
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,000
like ritzy though. 
So like they're like, oh, it's 

801
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,160
safe. 
But it's not like to me crazy. 

802
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:06,360
So we went there early. 
It was like, I don't know 8:00 

803
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,920
in the morning or something. 
And they filmed it and I can't 

804
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,320
even really remember his name. 
I followed him on Instagram for 

805
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:12,840
a little bit, but then I 
unfollowed him. 

806
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,160
But I mean he was like nice and 
I had a good time. 

807
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:20,960
But we like crafted this little 
pot thing kind of and then like 

808
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:25,880
painted it and it was like you 
would they put like a succulent 

809
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,680
plant in it and it was like a 
plant. 

810
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,400
I still have the thing, there's 
not a plant in it. 

811
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,200
The plant died. 
Anything I. 

812
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:36,840
Bet you, I bet you that you make
men really intimidated on dates,

813
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,880
'cause I'm thinking about you 
making pottery, and I bet you 

814
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:45,200
that dude was so out of his 
element, and making pottery is 

815
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,400
my element. 
Not that it's like your like 

816
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,880
niche and like what you do. 
But I'm just thinking about like

817
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:55,800
being a dude on a date with you 
and the way that you talk and 

818
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:59,320
the way that you carry yourself 
and like when you talk you're so

819
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,360
sure of what you say even if 
you're not sure of what you say.

820
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:08,960
And like I bet you that it like 
makes men feel like intimidated 

821
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:14,480
and and you have a very your 
energy is very much like. 

822
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,400
This is what my standard is, and
it's fucking high. 

823
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:21,080
So like, you're lucky that I'm 
here with you today and I think 

824
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:24,280
that it takes somebody special 
who can be like, I am lucky. 

825
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,360
You're right. 
Oh my God. 

826
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:32,400
Wow. 
I mean, I would say that anyone 

827
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:36,640
who's with me is lucky, but I 
personally, I'm letting people 

828
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:41,680
like, do their own standard. 
But will I actually, like, 

829
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,920
respect them or, you know, 
whatever. 

830
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,600
Like not necessarily just guys, 
but like, there's a lot of 

831
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,320
things that guys do that I can't
respect. 

832
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,600
Like people that like, have kids
and don't take care of them. 

833
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,480
Just, you know, beyond that. 
But like, this dude definitely 

834
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,320
had two kids and two baby Mamas.
And honestly, it's kind of where

835
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,760
I start drawing the line. 
Two baby Mamas is where I draw 

836
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,360
the line because like, one baby 
Mama, we with it. 

837
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:06,200
Two baby Mamas is like because 
now I'm dealing with two bitches

838
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:07,400
right now. 
There's two, yeah. 

839
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,120
But you got to look at Bunny and
Jelly. 

840
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,200
That's the love of her life. 
He's got two baby Mamas. 

841
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:14,040
What about it? 
I don't know like. 

842
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:15,840
You could be passing up your 
Jelly roll. 

843
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:19,520
That's all I'm saying. 
I'm just saying I'm like, OK, 

844
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:23,000
maybe maybe you're right, maybe 
you're right. 

845
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:27,880
But at the same time, I'm no 
kids and I'm not trying to deal 

846
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:32,360
with two kids, two baby moments.
That's four people and I. 

847
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,800
Think you. 
I think that you say a lot of 

848
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:41,000
things as a certainty that are 
just because you haven't met the

849
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:44,280
person that is in that 
situation, that makes it so that

850
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,760
you would deal with that 
situation. 

851
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,880
Because I've always said I would
never want to be a stepmom. 

852
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,280
I would never want to be like 
deal with somebody that has a 

853
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,280
kid. 
But then I met Brian and was 

854
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,560
like, that's my person and your 
kid is cute as shit. 

855
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:57,800
And here the fuck we are. 
And I let him hit it. 

856
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,760
And we had another one. 
Look, OK, Look, I'm saying I 

857
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:04,240
could deal with like, this dude 
has three kids by the same mom. 

858
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:09,160
Three kids by the same mom. 
It ain't about the kids, but. 

859
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:13,640
That many kids, those people who
just have two baby moms or more 

860
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,280
2-3 baby moms, Because now I'd 
be the third one. 

861
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:20,480
It's just like, I don't know, it
doesn't resonate with me, does 

862
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,040
it? 
They better have the most 

863
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:28,720
charming fucking. 
Energy of their fucking life for

864
00:48:28,720 --> 00:48:30,880
you to deal with three fucking 
kids. 

865
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:34,280
I don't give a fuck how many 
baby Mamas because you deal with

866
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,120
one person's kid. 
That's crazy. 

867
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,440
You deal with three fucking 
kids. 

868
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:45,280
I I as of right now, it would be
a hard fuck that for me. 

869
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:50,160
Well, there you go. 
You're talking me into all this?

870
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,320
We're just talking about real 
life experiences that could 

871
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,920
happen. 
Like you could find a paraplegic

872
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,880
that you love that has six kids.
It could happen. 

873
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,840
I've actually dated A paraplegic
person before and it could 

874
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:10,160
happen. 
Literally had the craziest dream

875
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:13,280
last night and that person was 
in my dream. 

876
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:17,000
But there was like this really 
dope, like complex that had 

877
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,080
everything in it. 
Like wherever I was at was just 

878
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,640
like kind of like a hotel or 
something. 

879
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:26,480
It was just like people lived 
there, but it was like there's a

880
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,840
Starbucks and just random stuff.
It was like the most random 

881
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,760
dream. 
And I'm really ready to take 

882
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:35,200
this dream interpretation class,
but I just can't find anyone 

883
00:49:35,720 --> 00:49:38,680
that I'm resonating with. 
That's how I feel about a 

884
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:43,800
fucking astrology class. 
So for everybody listening, I'm 

885
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:47,840
trying to talk Paige. 
And to well, I'm no longer 

886
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,320
trying. 
I've put the idea out and it's 

887
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,800
up to her. 
I'm not going to pressure her, 

888
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:54,880
but I think that she would do a 
really great job at teaching an 

889
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:58,320
astrology class. 
And you specifically, I think 

890
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:02,120
that the way that you've gained 
confidence with doing the Tarot 

891
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:06,240
class and then doing your 
slideshows and everything that 

892
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:12,480
you need to do for the class, I 
think that it has LED you up to,

893
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,360
I think you would be. 
Really good at doing a Tarot 

894
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,880
class, or I mean doing a 
astrology class. 

895
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:23,360
Well, I think I could teach it, 
but I don't know if I'm ready to

896
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:27,120
put all that energy into it, 
'cause it is a lot, it is so 

897
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,760
much it is like. 
You can just teach me. 

898
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,800
Fuck everybody else. 
Nobody else needs the class. 

899
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:33,240
It's about me. 
I don't give a fuck. 

900
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:35,200
If anybody else learns it, I 
wanna know it. 

901
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,160
Literally. 
It's crazy. 

902
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,840
It's crazy. 
It's. 

903
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:46,520
Crazy. 
I'm really glad that we are 

904
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:50,040
having guests now and I hope 
that everyone starts to interact

905
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,800
and support our new guests. 
We have some really cool people 

906
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:57,880
coming on, like freaking not 
even a name drop nobody, but 

907
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:01,080
just some really cool people. 
At least like 4 right now. 

908
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:07,080
And that's really fire because 
we just decided like 4 days ago 

909
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,160
that we were going to start 
having guests. 

910
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,400
We had the most perfect guest, 
which we hope you enjoyed 

911
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:18,280
Barbie's episode because we're 
going to try to do a guest 

912
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:21,800
episode and then a solo and then
a guest episode, like keep it 

913
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,560
every other. 
So that way if you're not 

914
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:27,320
resonating with the guests, you 
aren't going to miss out too 

915
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:30,120
much. 
But hopefully our guests are 

916
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,120
resonant cause a lot of these 
people are really fire. 

917
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,120
I would like to also give the 
PSA that, like, we've never 

918
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:40,480
gotten, like, we've never gotten
like negative feedback on having

919
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,080
a guest and been like, I didn't 
like that episode or anything 

920
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,520
ever. 
But I'd also like to say that we

921
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:49,040
genuinely don't give a single 
fuck if you don't ever like an 

922
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,920
episode. 
So if there's a week that you're

923
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:55,040
like, I'm not a fan of that 
guest, like we genuinely don't 

924
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:57,080
give a fuck. 
Keep pushing. 

925
00:51:57,080 --> 00:52:00,320
Listen to the next week because 
it'll be just us and then we'll 

926
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:05,000
have another fire guest and I. 
You know, I don't like 

927
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,960
everybody, but I don't sit there
and say I didn't like that 

928
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,480
person. 
So I've heard of some other 

929
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:14,200
podcasts getting like messages 
like that from people of, like, 

930
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:16,680
I didn't really like the guests 
this week and like, you can suck

931
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,800
my whole Dick. 
You know, I think it's crazy, 

932
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:23,640
But having guests every week 
would stress me out. 

933
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:27,960
Like to not have you as, like 
the common denominator for our 

934
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,320
podcast. 
Like, we're like equal in the 

935
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:33,120
podcast and like, bringing on 
people is cool, but like also 

936
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:38,240
just being like in our own 
energy is is cool too, 'cause I 

937
00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:43,560
feel like sometimes people like,
you know, like, we don't know a 

938
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,440
lot about them even, you know 
what I mean? 

939
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,160
Like, sometimes people don't do 
solo episodes, which, you know, 

940
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,080
like a lot of the podcasts I 
like, do like. 

941
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,200
Bunny does all kinds of stuff 
just to her without guests. 

942
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:55,120
You know, like, but the guests 
are cool and it's a cool piece 

943
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:58,000
to like dive into people's 
stories that you like. 

944
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,560
Otherwise, maybe wouldn't know 
their story at all. 

945
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:05,600
Yeah, I like learning about 
other people and growing with 

946
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,200
them. 
And I also feel like, I don't 

947
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,560
know, dude, that break that I 
just took really just freed up 

948
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,640
my energy in so many different 
ways. 

949
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:18,120
And I love the idea of just 
getting to connect with other 

950
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,560
people regardless of what we're 
talking about. 

951
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:24,880
And I don't feel like. 
It's going to use up a lot of 

952
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:28,160
energy or anything like that. 
I'm just so excited for things 

953
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:30,880
that we have moving forward. 
I know. 

954
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,040
Me too. 
I feel like there's just change 

955
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:37,360
in the air. 
We're closing out this year, and

956
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,920
I feel like this year really did
go back quickly, but I feel like

957
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,920
I've been accomplishing a lot 
this year. 

958
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:45,880
This year's been really good to 
get rid of people off the boat, 

959
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:50,840
off the train, off everywhere, 
like just by Felicia. 

960
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,280
This felt like a really long 
year to me. 

961
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:58,640
Like I didn't feel the like, Oh 
my God, and all of a sudden and 

962
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:01,960
it's 4th of July. 
I'm like, it's only fucking 

963
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:05,440
July. 
Like I this year is not flying 

964
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:10,560
by. 
I am ready for 2024. 

965
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,880
The odd numbers are for the 
fucking birds. 

966
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,240
And I'm ready to get back to 
even numbers. 

967
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:21,400
I turn fucking 30 next year, so 
I'm ready to like be in my prime

968
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,840
state plus like, my my what the 
fuck? 

969
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:29,080
My Saturn. 
Yeah, it's happening. 

970
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:33,600
And that's fucking weird. 
And I I don't like that. 

971
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:39,120
And so I'm gonna try and shift 
that fucking energy in my. 

972
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:46,320
Favor Pattern is literally at 00
Pisces, like it's been at 00 for

973
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:49,360
a little bit 'cause it went on 
retrograde and then went back. 

974
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:53,480
Right now it's at 00 Pisces like
it is, it's the beginning, but 

975
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:55,960
it's been happening and went 
retrograde and then it started 

976
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:57,920
over. 
So it's like now it'll move 

977
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,320
forward and move through your 
chart, but it's been in 

978
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,320
retrograde for like most of this
year like. 

979
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:05,240
How long does it last? 
Seven years? 

980
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:12,120
No, it only cycles every 27 to 
30 years and then it stays there

981
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,480
for 2-3 four years. 
It just depends. 

982
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,880
But I think they're just going 
to stay there quite some time. 

983
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:24,880
Yeah, me mine did too. 
Yeah, whatever. 

984
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,560
I'm sure there'll be like plenty
of learning lessons and blah 

985
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:32,400
blah blah blah fucking blah. 
But I It's an awakening moment. 

986
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:37,400
Listen, I just want to be 
fucking skinny and rich by the 

987
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,320
time that it ends. 
That's all I'm saying. 

988
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:46,080
Gemini. 
Crazy. 

989
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,640
That's not crazy, that's 
realistic. 

990
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,800
And I also want hose in every 
area code. 

991
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,080
Ever since we talked about 
plastic surgery once Gemini was 

992
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:59,440
like, I'm I'm sold on it. 
I'm getting it done. 

993
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:01,520
Oh, I wasn't even talking about 
plastic surgery. 

994
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,880
I just want it to spontaneously 
happening with me, not having to

995
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:04,920
change my life. 
Oh, I thought it was an 

996
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:08,520
interesting thing for you to go 
get your mommy makeup. 

997
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,360
Now I am. 
Now I just. 

998
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:14,280
I just want to go under and I 
want to wake up with a new body 

999
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,320
and like if I can only eat nuts 
for the rest of my life because 

1000
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:23,520
I have it, at least it'll keep 
my shape crazy. 

1001
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:28,440
I literally need to eat better 
with the holidays. 

1002
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:32,000
I need to be conscious of how 
much sugar I'm eating. 

1003
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:36,680
Yeah, you do. 
No, I'm just kidding. 

1004
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,480
I don't fucking eat whatever you
want to eat. 

1005
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:43,480
No, Like, there's so much sweets
around right now and I need to 

1006
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:44,840
just feel like not eating those 
out. 

1007
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:46,520
Really. 
Yeah, but you go to the gym 

1008
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:50,040
every single fucking day of your
life, like you're just gonna 

1009
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,960
squat and it's gonna go on to 
your ass and it's just gonna 

1010
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:54,960
help the bubbles. 
So what do you care? 

1011
00:56:55,640 --> 00:57:00,040
No, no. 
I did go to the gym today and I 

1012
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,800
feel proud though. 
Yeah, I'm proud of you. 

1013
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,240
You'll send me voice notes and 
I'll just hear Clink Clink 

1014
00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:08,440
clinking in the background from 
the gym equipment and I'll know 

1015
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:12,400
what's up. 
The gym. 

1016
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:14,480
I'm ready. 
Get it popping. 

1017
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:16,720
You already get it popping. 
We can do a New Year challenge 

1018
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:21,320
at the gym. 
I have never actually had a gym 

1019
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:23,400
membership before. 
That's not true. 

1020
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:26,120
I've had a gym membership. 
And I didn't go. 

1021
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:30,200
And the reason I didn't go is 
because Brian and I went once 

1022
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,440
and I just felt really 
uncomfortable while we were 

1023
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:35,160
there. 
I didn't understand like. 

1024
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:37,720
Gym etiquette I still don't 
like. 

1025
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,840
I don't know. 
I didn't know until I was on 

1026
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,240
TikTok that you're supposed to 
wipe down the equipment in 

1027
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:46,240
between, like after you use it. 
I didn't know that. 

1028
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,840
Nobody said anything to me. 
Nobody saw me working out at the

1029
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:50,080
gym and was like, let me help 
you. 

1030
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,840
People were just staring and 
that's probably why they were 

1031
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,440
staring. 
But like, I just, I've never 

1032
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:59,160
found a gym that I'm like, yeah,
I'm super comfortable here, but 

1033
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:03,000
also if I don't go to a gym and 
I'm just at home. 

1034
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:06,560
Then I don't work out as hard as
I feel like I would if I had a 

1035
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,600
place where other people were 
working out. 

1036
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:10,080
So it's like a double edged 
sword. 

1037
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:15,160
Well I will agree the gym can be
a painful experience until you 

1038
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,080
get adjusted. 
I didn't know gym etiquette 

1039
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:23,080
either, but now because I know 
now that 92% of these people do 

1040
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:26,400
not wipe their shit down, I 
clean it before I use it and I 

1041
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,880
don't be sweating like that. 
So I just clean it before I use 

1042
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:30,720
it really good. 
Wipe down everything. 

1043
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,600
Like most people have sprayed a 
little bit, rub it, I wipe down 

1044
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,720
everything and then I do not 
wipe it out again. 

1045
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,960
Like after I've used it, I have 
out so that I cleaned it before 

1046
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:43,000
I sat down, if that makes sense.
Because a lot of people just 

1047
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,320
don't clean their shit and like 
a lot of people be sweating like

1048
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:50,240
balls, back chest all upon this 
equipment, you know what I mean?

1049
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:53,320
So yeah, it's like one of those 
places that it's like some 

1050
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:56,080
people act like they own the 
whole motherfucker, but then 

1051
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,000
you'll meet people that are like
super nice. 

1052
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,760
But I bought most of like my own
attachment. 

1053
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:04,840
So that way when the like cables
would be open, I could just go 

1054
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:08,400
straight to it without needing 
to look for said attachment. 

1055
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,600
Like I didn't buy everyone. 
I just bought like a rope and 

1056
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,640
like a leg attachment and things
like that. 

1057
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,840
But like, it takes time because 
it's not easy. 

1058
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,400
It really isn't. 
But now that I've been going for

1059
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:22,720
like almost three years, it 
feels so different. 

1060
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:27,680
Because now it's like I used to 
be only like pull a 30 or a 40 

1061
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:32,360
and now I can do like 80 or XYZ 
over my head or behind my head 

1062
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,800
like it's crazy. 
I can take a 40 LB barbell and 

1063
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:38,760
just go behind my head like like
it's like a golf ball or 

1064
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,360
something. 
And I couldn't even take 5 lbs 

1065
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:45,080
behind my head when I started. 
So I feel like I've never really

1066
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,040
paid attention as much as like 
the scale. 

1067
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:49,760
I don't even get on the scale. 
I just feel like how much can I 

1068
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:53,160
lift now? 
And like, I hate doing cardio, 

1069
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:56,480
but I try to put at least 
10/15/20 minutes of it in with 

1070
00:59:56,640 --> 01:00:00,000
lifting weights. 
But there's just certain things 

1071
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,800
you got to learn what you do and
don't like. 

1072
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,600
Like I could never just go to 
the gym and be on the treadmill 

1073
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:06,880
for an hour. 
Like, no, that would never work 

1074
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:07,920
for me. 
The most I'm going to be on the 

1075
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,360
treadmill 20 minutes. 
I. 

1076
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:15,000
Feel like I'd I feel like I 
would like to go to the gym and 

1077
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,680
I do really well when other 
people are doing something to 

1078
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:22,680
like if I have like a buddy with
me to do it with then I feel 

1079
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,440
like all Brian and I have even 
talked in the past about going 

1080
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:29,040
together. 
But I like. 

1081
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:32,160
Certain things like, I don't 
know, I feel like moving your 

1082
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:34,000
body and sweating and shit to 
me. 

1083
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,480
I have to be in like a 
meditative headspace. 

1084
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:38,880
Like I want to have music on. 
I just want to focus on what I'm

1085
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:41,920
doing and how I'm doing it. 
And I don't necessarily want 

1086
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,520
somebody there with me side by 
side, but I'd like somebody 

1087
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:47,280
who's like, hey, are we checking
in? 

1088
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:48,640
Like, did you go to the gym 
today? 

1089
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:52,560
Like, what are you doing? 
You know, I personally prefer 

1090
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:54,680
going to the gym alone than with
people. 

1091
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:57,040
But, like, right now one of my 
friends is like, you got to 

1092
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:58,800
motivate me. 
And we went tonight. 

1093
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:00,720
Like, she doesn't live far. 
So I just picked her up. 

1094
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:05,480
We went and you know, she was 
like, but I wouldn't have went 

1095
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:08,320
tonight without her, 'cause I 
have been, you know, four days 

1096
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:10,800
in a row Today, Monday is 
normally the day I take off, 

1097
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:13,120
'cause it's busy. 
But we got there and it was 

1098
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:14,760
still busy. 
It was like late. 

1099
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:20,160
We got there to stop in, so you 
know we got it in or whatever. 

1100
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:25,160
But like I prefer like listening
to music and like just being in 

1101
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:28,400
my own world like but at the 
beginning I needed someone to go

1102
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,520
with me too. 
Like I started going to the gym 

1103
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:35,080
with people in the beginning, 
but you know it is it is fun to 

1104
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:38,160
go with people because they can 
help you like with spotting or 

1105
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:42,920
your form or things like that. 
But also, I feel like just like 

1106
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:47,280
keeping up with it, with someone
is like motivating because I 

1107
01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:49,200
personally like listening to 
music too. 

1108
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:51,680
Like the whole time. 
Like I don't want to talk at all

1109
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:55,240
because I feel like I get more 
done when I'm listening to music

1110
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:56,560
than I do. 
If someone goes with me and 

1111
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:58,560
we're talking like, you know 
what I mean? 

1112
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:01,200
Because now you have like you're
you're swapping and you're 

1113
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,520
talking and you're, you know, 
it's just like, I don't know, 

1114
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:07,280
people go to the gym with their 
group of people at my gym and 

1115
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:11,200
they will be there for like 3 to
4 hours and they're like high 

1116
01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:13,520
school age or like maybe 
college. 

1117
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:15,720
Like they're young. 
And so me and my friend were 

1118
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:19,320
there tonight and my friend 
who's in spirit, his name's 

1119
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:21,720
Robert Dell. 
He died when he was 19, but he 

1120
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:24,240
was like the hottest guy at our 
school and like, you know, 

1121
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,920
football star all the things. 
And I said, did you see the 

1122
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,200
young Robert Dell in there? 
And she knew exactly what I was 

1123
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:31,560
talking about, 'cause there's 
this young little hottie, he's 

1124
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:34,400
probably 19 or 18. 
Like, he's got some tattoos and 

1125
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:37,000
stuff, but he is in there 
leading the pack with all his 

1126
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:38,960
young friends. 
And then all his young friends 

1127
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,400
bring their girlfriends. 
But he doesn't seem to, like 

1128
01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:42,520
ever have a girl in there with 
him. 

1129
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:45,600
It's just like 29 of his guy 
friends and a couple girls. 

1130
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:48,240
And it's like a whole entourage 
posse. 

1131
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:50,960
And so we got in the car. 
I said that she knew exactly. 

1132
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,160
She said the only dude with his 
shirt off in there. 

1133
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:56,080
I said, I said, every time I get
there, his shirt's on, but by 

1134
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:59,040
the time I leave, his shirt is 
off every time if I see him. 

1135
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:01,040
So I don't know if that's just 
normal, if that's just what he 

1136
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,080
does, but it seems like I get 
there. 

1137
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,360
Shirts will be on. 
Next thing you know, he's over 

1138
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:09,640
here flexing with a real Canon 
camera on a stand. 

1139
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:14,160
I think it's your cougar era and
I think you're over hereabouts. 

1140
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:17,320
Pick up fucking. 
It was funny. 

1141
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,480
It was really funny because. 
Young young men, young 

1142
01:03:20,480 --> 01:03:22,400
gentlemen. 
I don't know, is that weird to 

1143
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:23,600
say? 
Because it's like there were 

1144
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:25,920
dudes during a podcast and 
someone said something about 

1145
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:27,760
like a 19 year old girl. 
I'd be like you're fucking 

1146
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:30,640
weird, but then it's you and I'm
like get the 19 year old boy and

1147
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,320
take it home. 
You know that's not that much 

1148
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,560
difference. 
I mean, we like what I'm I'm a 

1149
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,240
little older than him, but not 
like 45. 

1150
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,640
Like I'm not like. 
Well, that's true. 

1151
01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:45,320
That'd be you less than, you 
know, 15 years older than him. 

1152
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:48,360
Like, we still have some of the 
similar generational things. 

1153
01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:51,760
But at the same time, no, that's
not what I was saying. 

1154
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:55,520
I was just saying there's like a
leader of the pack at the gym, 

1155
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,960
hogging everything, popping 
their shit. 

1156
01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:01,440
And so my friend who's with me 
now, she's never seen this 

1157
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:06,720
entourage before and like, it is
OK and it's, it's funny. 

1158
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,800
But like once you get used to it
and like, who's going to be at 

1159
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,240
your gym, I think that's the 
most important thing, is like 

1160
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,920
when you develop a connection to
the gym, you eventually see 

1161
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:19,880
pretty much 75% of the people 
that go to that gym at some 

1162
01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:22,720
point. 
Because there's, you know, 25% 

1163
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,280
of people that go the same time 
every day. 

1164
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,520
But I think a lot of people 
these days, they just get it in 

1165
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:28,560
when they can. 
People be in there at 10:00 at 

1166
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:30,240
night, you know what I mean? 
Like, just getting it in when 

1167
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:33,760
they can. 
But you kind of learn who's 

1168
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:36,880
going to be at the gym in a way.
Not like every time you're 

1169
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:39,400
there, but you start seeing 
people and recognizing people 

1170
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:41,760
and things like that. 
So I think, like, that's the 

1171
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:44,240
biggest thing of, like, that you
get over, 'cause it's kind of 

1172
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,760
like if you go to a nail place 
or a doctor's office and you 

1173
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:50,080
begin to, like, see, you know, 
the same workers, the same 

1174
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:51,800
people, you get more 
comfortable, right? 

1175
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:53,880
Like. 
So at the gym, you'll see people

1176
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:58,040
who are, like, pretty much in 
there all the time and like, 

1177
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:01,200
will talk to you or they're 
older or like, you know, I I 

1178
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,400
hope that older women all the 
time, like, figure out how to 

1179
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:06,040
work machines, 'cause I'll see 
them struggling and I'll be that

1180
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:07,720
person that's like, hey, do you 
want me to help you? 

1181
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:11,200
And so, like, I think the more 
that people see you and they're 

1182
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:14,680
the more that, like, you really 
do develop connections. 

1183
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:16,760
Like, I have made several 
friends at the gym. 

1184
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:20,720
It's just like random that, 
like, you know, one of them's 

1185
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,440
like her kids about to turn one.
And I feel emotionally connected

1186
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:25,440
to this kid, like, and I've 
never even met it. 

1187
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:28,080
You know what I mean? 
Like you just like meet people 

1188
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:31,120
at the gym and then it it does 
like get easier. 

1189
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:33,280
I will say that. 
But when the beginning I didn't 

1190
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:35,320
want to go either and I could 
only go with people. 

1191
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:37,920
So then I would only go like two
days a week because people are 

1192
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:40,080
unreliable. 
So there was just like a point 

1193
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,440
where I was like I want to eat 
what I want and not feel bad 

1194
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,640
about it. 
And I also want to be stronger 

1195
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:48,000
and like not worry about the 
number on the scale but just 

1196
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:52,640
like feel happier and like 
sexier or like feel more 

1197
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:58,400
confident in myself so that I'm 
not like wishing I was doing 

1198
01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:01,320
that. 
Even though not like weighing my

1199
01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:05,960
food and eating the right macros
and like just literally doing 

1200
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,920
whatever the fuck I want to do. 
I'm still going the gym and 

1201
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:11,000
weight and like lifting more and
more. 

1202
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,160
Like I can do 290 on the leg 
press now. 

1203
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:18,400
And when I started lifting like 
100 lbs or 120 lbs would have 

1204
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:21,160
been a lot on the like leg 
press. 

1205
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:24,000
I would have felt like I needed 
a spotter 'cause I could crush 

1206
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,320
myself on that thing. 
And now I'm like pushing almost 

1207
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:28,720
£300. 
No spotter, don't give a fuck. 

1208
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:31,680
Like, it's actually kind of like
I could put more on there, but I

1209
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:33,360
don't like to hurt myself, you 
know what I mean? 

1210
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:37,080
I'm not gonna like, you know, 
but like when you're up and 

1211
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,000
you're down and your feet are on
that thing, like if it comes 

1212
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:43,760
swinging to you, like, it could 
cross you if you're not doing it

1213
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:45,000
right, you know? 
Right. 

1214
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,520
I was always so scared of that 
machine is what I'm trying to 

1215
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:48,920
say. 
Like, I was terrified. 

1216
01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:52,960
And then I just started out like
doing 50 or like, you know, like

1217
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:55,360
it started out. 
There's ones like at like Planet

1218
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:58,640
Fitness and places that are more
commercial, they have a few 

1219
01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:00,760
different ones. 
Like, they have ones that like 

1220
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:02,160
can't crush you. 
You know what I mean? 

1221
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:05,600
Like, it's like more safety 
guard, but not as big of like a 

1222
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:08,920
press or like a push. 
And then there's ones like that.

1223
01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:10,440
But I used to like, steer clear 
of them. 

1224
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:14,040
So like I can just see progress 
over the class like almost three

1225
01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:18,000
years by like the definition of 
like oh that used to like scare 

1226
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,360
me or I didn't want to use that 
machine or I was afraid to do 

1227
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:24,160
that And then just evolved over 
time by just doing like 4050 

1228
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:27,440
sixty and like now I'm doing 290
like like I said and I could 

1229
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:30,840
probably do 3:50, I could 
probably put 30 more on each 

1230
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:34,200
side and like push 350. 
I just it's a lot to take off 

1231
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:36,960
and I have to like take it off 
because that's Jim etiquette. 

1232
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:40,640
It's like you put it on, take it
off, period. 

1233
01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:42,480
And a lot of people don't know 
that. 

1234
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:44,200
A lot of people don't do that. 
Sometimes. 

1235
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:47,080
Like, it doesn't bother me, but 
people who can't lift that much,

1236
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:49,280
like they can't get it off, you 
know what I mean? 

1237
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:53,680
So there is a lot. 
But like if you go to a smaller,

1238
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:57,680
less commercial style gym, and 
even though it's smaller, it's 

1239
01:07:57,720 --> 01:08:01,520
actually better in my opinion 
because you don't have as much 

1240
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:05,280
riff, raff or like the in and 
out of a membership that's $10 

1241
01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:08,440
or less so. 
I went to the Super small it 

1242
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:09,840
was. 
It was a small, 'cause we lived 

1243
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:12,720
in a really small town before 
this one, and it was like the 

1244
01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:16,359
small, independently, privately 
owned gym there. 

1245
01:08:16,359 --> 01:08:18,479
And the inside was dope. 
They had so many different 

1246
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:21,319
pieces of equipment. 
But we went in there, and every 

1247
01:08:21,319 --> 01:08:23,840
single time that I went in, 
'cause I went in a couple times.

1248
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:27,760
There was never anybody like at 
the front, Like there was never 

1249
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:31,600
a person like I knew that They 
had like fitness instructors 

1250
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:34,080
there and like people who could 
help and stuff like show you 

1251
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:36,479
things. 
But there was never a person 

1252
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:39,160
there that I felt like could be 
helpful. 

1253
01:08:39,399 --> 01:08:41,600
And there was never anybody at 
the front desk for me to, like, 

1254
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:46,040
ask or anything like that. 
And so I just got frustrated 

1255
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:50,000
with it because I just felt 
like, damn, I'm paying for this 

1256
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,960
membership. 
And I can't even get somebody 

1257
01:08:51,960 --> 01:08:55,760
here to, like, show me how to do
these things or, you know, 

1258
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:57,520
whatever. 
And like a part of the 

1259
01:08:57,520 --> 01:09:01,439
membership was that they'll set 
you up with like. 

1260
01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:05,720
The first time that you go like 
a fitness coach, whatever, and 

1261
01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:08,880
they'll like break down a thing 
for you of like what equipment 

1262
01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:12,600
you should use, how many reps 
whatever, and. 

1263
01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:14,479
Then they don't do it. 
That's lies. 

1264
01:09:14,560 --> 01:09:18,560
That's propaganda. 
So what you need and what you 

1265
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:24,319
sound like you need is you need 
to go to a gym that has a decent

1266
01:09:24,319 --> 01:09:27,399
amount of workers where they 
have personal trainers that you 

1267
01:09:27,399 --> 01:09:30,640
can pay and it's like $25 a 
session or 30. 

1268
01:09:30,640 --> 01:09:33,520
I think I used to pay 20. 
So it's probably 25 or 30 a 

1269
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:35,680
session. 
And you buy a package and you 

1270
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:38,880
get like 8 sessions and then 
they give you a workout plan. 

1271
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:41,359
So you work out with them like 
twice that week, but you're 

1272
01:09:41,359 --> 01:09:43,600
supposed to go 5 days. 
That's how I've gotten into like

1273
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:47,120
going five days and trying to do
it all out together. 

1274
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:49,040
Because when you take days off, 
it's worse. 

1275
01:09:49,279 --> 01:09:51,640
Like, it's just better to just 
do the five days and have two 

1276
01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:53,520
full days of rest and then do 
the five days. 

1277
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:57,640
Can do like 2 days, two days 
off, 3 days day off, you know 

1278
01:09:57,640 --> 01:09:58,600
what I mean? 
Or whatever. 

1279
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:02,320
Like, so when you get the 
personal trainer, they give you 

1280
01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:05,400
a workout like plan. 
Like I have one of my old 

1281
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:08,800
workout plans I could send to 
you for like whatever I bought. 

1282
01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:10,480
You know what I mean? 
Like, I think it's like in a 

1283
01:10:10,480 --> 01:10:14,600
document, but I mean, they give 
you a plan. 

1284
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:19,800
You buy a package through the 
gym worker type people and like 

1285
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:22,800
most athletic clubs if they're 
labeled Athletic Club, have 

1286
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:24,840
that. 
Like they have people that teach

1287
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:28,120
and like you pay through your 
membership but like it's 

1288
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:31,360
probably like 20-30 whatever a 
session, maybe more. 

1289
01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:33,960
I don't know, who knows? 
I wouldn't think it'd be much 

1290
01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:38,720
more because if they give you a 
plan and then you're out 

1291
01:10:38,720 --> 01:10:42,240
accountable because your 
trainer, just like your mentor, 

1292
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:44,920
like we would text someone to be
like, hey, how's it going? 

1293
01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:47,280
How's this? 
You know, whatever your trainer 

1294
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:49,480
is going to be on your ass, like
how's it going? 

1295
01:10:49,480 --> 01:10:51,160
What's up? 
Did you hit the gym today? 

1296
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:54,160
Like in a nice way, but like 
also in a way where you also 

1297
01:10:54,160 --> 01:10:56,880
feel like you want to make them 
proud, You know what I mean? 

1298
01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:59,120
And what kind? 
Of fucking choose do you wear to

1299
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:04,240
the gym me. 
Yeah, I wear all kinds I wear. 

1300
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:07,600
Sometimes I wear Converse, 
sometimes I wear flat shoes. 

1301
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:09,800
Sometimes I wear like Nikes. 
It just depends. 

1302
01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:11,600
That's why I, like, I'm in love 
with Nikes now. 

1303
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:15,760
OK, because I've got, I'm just 
going to wear Converse. 

1304
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:20,160
I've got Converse or hiking 
boots because I'm not a sneakers

1305
01:11:20,160 --> 01:11:22,280
kind of girl. 
You got to switch it whenever 

1306
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:26,040
you're wearing flat shoes. 
They say sometimes it's good to 

1307
01:11:26,040 --> 01:11:28,880
lift weight on flat shoes 'cause
it evens the weight on your 

1308
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:31,000
foot. 
But then also, like when you're 

1309
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:33,040
doing cardio, you don't 
necessarily want to wear flat 

1310
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:37,280
shoes. 
Yeah, well, I don't know, I'm a 

1311
01:11:37,280 --> 01:11:40,520
cardiovisor. 
Hiking boots or a Converse or 

1312
01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:42,040
hiking boots kind of girl, 
'cause I fucking. 

1313
01:11:42,440 --> 01:11:44,320
I hate sneakers. 
I don't know if you know this 

1314
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:48,040
about me, but I hate tennis 
shoes. 

1315
01:11:48,040 --> 01:11:51,520
I hate my feet being covered. 
And I don't like when I can't 

1316
01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:54,640
move my toes like I'm a very. 
That's what I do when I'm like 

1317
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:57,200
nervous or like it's like a self
soothing thing. 

1318
01:11:57,480 --> 01:12:00,800
And so when my feet are inside 
of sneakers, I literally feel 

1319
01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:03,280
trapped. 
It makes me feel sweaty and it 

1320
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:05,720
makes me feel like I'm gonna 
fucking vomit on you. 

1321
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:13,560
Well, get you some low cut sneak
and some ankle socks and wear 

1322
01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:16,720
wear some leggings or something 
to the gym. 

1323
01:12:17,160 --> 01:12:20,920
I think that I didn't like 
sneakers either, but I started 

1324
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:26,360
wearing platform like Fila 
sneakers and then basically now 

1325
01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:29,320
I'm like a Nike Jordan becoming 
now. 

1326
01:12:29,840 --> 01:12:33,000
You're a fucking sneaker snob, I
know, my friend said. 

1327
01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:35,480
When did you get turned on to 
sneakers? 

1328
01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:37,040
And who turned you on to 
sneakers? 

1329
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:40,960
I said. 
Actually me, because I just 

1330
01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:45,000
started like, looking at shoes. 
And those shoes that Barbie had 

1331
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,120
on in her new photo shoot, those
long green Jordans. 

1332
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:53,840
I fucking. 
I need to eat dinner before I 

1333
01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:56,400
die. 
Are you doing a card? 

1334
01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:07,720
Yeah, not to be dramatic, but 
I'm I could fucking eat a whole 

1335
01:13:07,720 --> 01:13:12,520
estimate past your bedtime. 
It's past my bedtime. 

1336
01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:15,720
We usually record. 
I feel like earlier. 

1337
01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:22,280
We've already had that card a 
lot of times. 

1338
01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:30,280
All right, we got card 52 for 
the Blossom. 

1339
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:41,640
Boom. 
I don't know what that fucking 

1340
01:13:41,640 --> 01:13:45,720
Bush is either. 
All right, card 52 for the 

1341
01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:49,240
Blossom. 
The sign is cancer. 

1342
01:13:50,200 --> 01:13:54,120
The gift is trust and the shadow
is stress. 

1343
01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:57,960
This gift begins with the seed 
of intention. 

1344
01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:01,240
How can you be of the greatest 
service to humanity? 

1345
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:05,040
From there you must trust in the
natural timing and rhythm of the

1346
01:14:05,040 --> 01:14:08,240
universe. 
This is about balance and inner 

1347
01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:11,200
knowing of when to act and when 
to rest. 

1348
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,640
When you're in alignment, you 
can get out of your own way and 

1349
01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:18,480
allow the blossom to form in its
rightful moment and place. 

1350
01:14:19,280 --> 01:14:22,560
It isn't rushed or forced. 
A product of stress. 

1351
01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:27,040
You understand deeply that every
experience in your life serves a

1352
01:14:27,040 --> 01:14:29,920
necessary purpose, and you are 
right on time. 

1353
01:14:30,320 --> 01:14:33,240
The more that you trust in 
divine timing, the more this 

1354
01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:36,800
gift will guide you. 
Your shadow is stress. 

1355
01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:40,400
The collective has been 
hardwired to be motivated by 

1356
01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:42,920
fear. 
It's the factor of fear, a 

1357
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:46,920
trigger for flight or fight, 
that has kept us alive all of 

1358
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:50,240
these years. 
It is a universal instinct, and 

1359
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:55,400
thus it has served its purpose. 
But it has also culminated in a 

1360
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:58,800
stress that is seeped into our 
energetic bodies in our shared 

1361
01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:02,360
auric field. 
It is pervasive and continuous 

1362
01:15:02,840 --> 01:15:05,520
Individually. 
This shadow may manifest as a 

1363
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:09,800
feeling of being stuck the 
repressive expression or as 

1364
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:12,400
restlessness, the reactive 
expression. 

1365
01:15:12,960 --> 01:15:16,360
To flip the switch on the shadow
is to access higher levels of 

1366
01:15:16,360 --> 01:15:18,920
frequency that bypass the lower 
realms. 

1367
01:15:19,280 --> 01:15:22,280
You must get centered enough to 
follow your inner guidance 

1368
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:26,120
system, which will form your 
actions, versus operating 

1369
01:15:26,120 --> 01:15:30,040
singularly from a place of 
underlying stress that is being 

1370
01:15:30,040 --> 01:15:34,080
constantly on or contrastingly 
off or stuck. 

1371
01:15:34,440 --> 01:15:38,120
Your themes are timing, 
intuition, trust, and intention.

1372
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:44,760
Beautiful. 
Thank you all joining us through

1373
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:50,880
our ups and downs. 
Happy holidays and we'll be back

1374
01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:53,640
next week with a new guest. 
Bye.