1 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:09,480 Uh huh. Yeah, he says. 2 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:13,160 She's so sweet, man. Come on over the rapper live. 3 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:21,320 Me like a lollipop. Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, 4 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,640 lollipop, lollipop. Welcome. 5 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,400 Back to another episode of Candyland. 6 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,240 We have the beautiful Gemini. Hello. 7 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:37,000 We are going to dive into some taboo questions about 8 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,880 relationships tonight and we're going to get it going real quick 9 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:46,560 with Jim and I answering her first question of the evening. 10 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:50,400 You ready? Yeah, I feel put on the spot. 11 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:55,000 Is there such a thing as too much freedom in relationships? 12 00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:00,480 That's a really good question. No, I think that like, if you're 13 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,640 in a really healthy dynamic, I think both people should have 14 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,280 freedoms to like be themselves and do their thing. 15 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:10,200 But I do think that there has to be conversations that you have 16 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,880 about like your limits and boundaries on things and like 17 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,160 your expectations on things. Like somebody should be able to 18 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:21,040 have the freedom to decide to do something, but know that I don't 19 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,400 want you out at 2:00 hanging out with, you know, like downtown at 20 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,920 bars or whatever while I'm at home or, you know, like, just 21 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:31,200 like certain types of things. I think that you should have 22 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:35,080 conversations about that. Yeah, I think with the Internet 23 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,440 there is a lot of things that like some people take as like 24 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:43,120 cheating, like liking other girls hers or following only 25 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,800 fans girls. And I've seen a lot of people 26 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,400 very upset about that. And then there will be girls 27 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,360 that like run to the comments to be like, you're so insecure if 28 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,040 your man can't be friends with women on social media. 29 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,840 And I just feel like there's a limit with some of that. 30 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:03,040 Like some people have innocent intentions, but then some people 31 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,720 have ill will. And I do think that with the 32 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,800 Internet, there's a whole new level of dynamics that need to 33 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:15,160 be kind of established a little bit, because I do think that men 34 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,480 do things on the Internet that they would be very upset if 35 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:22,960 their woman was doing. That's interesting. 36 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:28,000 I think the intention matters. So I like what's the point of 37 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,360 this? Like I don't have a problem if 38 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:33,560 there's like, you know, friends on Facebook or whatever, or you 39 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,160 know, occasional comments that go back and forth or whatever 40 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,760 if, but what's the intention behind it? 41 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,560 Is there like a flirtatious thing? 42 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,040 Has there been a thing in the past? 43 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:45,120 Is this something like somebody on one side is interested in 44 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:49,640 something or is it simply platonic friendship type dynamic 45 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,640 when it comes to people that you know but like following random 46 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,200 accounts and stuff on social media, same thing. 47 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,240 Like what's the intent behind it? 48 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,400 Do you like reach out to that person? 49 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,360 Do you? Are you on their only fan 50 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,640 sending them money every month? Like what it? 51 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,080 What are you doing? How would you feel if your 52 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,040 partner was subscribed to someone's Only Fans? 53 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:19,000 I would not be thrilled. I don't know, I really don't 54 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,320 like porn. Like I don't like porn at all. 55 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,160 Like I don't like any theatrical porn whatsoever. 56 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,560 I never watch it, but there are some bitches. 57 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,160 A few times I've thought I want to subscribe to her. 58 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,200 Only fan. But I just think, like, if 59 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,000 that's something that you're interested in, why wouldn't you 60 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,720 just approach me and be like, hey, I'm into this thing. 61 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,680 Do you want to subscribe together? 62 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,320 Like I'm going to be spending, if you're spending money on it, 63 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:49,280 you're you're you that is like you're so interested in that. 64 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,640 And then I would be like, what is it about that that you're 65 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,960 like, I want to spend money on it because like you can get it 66 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,560 at home. You know what I mean? 67 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,280 Like what are you doing? I don't know. 68 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,360 I mean, for 599 you can see a lot of things on Only Fans. 69 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,480 I feel like some people are just curious. 70 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,600 Yeah, I just think it should be a conversation thing. 71 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,640 Yeah, I would want the conversation. 72 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,520 I wouldn't be mad about it, but I would just be like, I want to 73 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,960 know, and maybe I'm fucking into it too. 74 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,920 If you're going to spend money on it, why can I not have a part 75 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,120 in the subscription? That's what I feel like. 76 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,880 There you go, Jim. And I said just count me in. 77 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,080 All right, your turn for a question. 78 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,280 Why do people get so uncomfortable with things like 79 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:40,040 polyamory, open marriages, or large age gaps? 80 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:44,520 So I personally think that we have been put in a box in 81 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,200 Society of like what's acceptable and what's not 82 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,080 acceptable. So if you see a young girl with 83 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,160 an older man, you're instantly like, oh, he's a pervert. 84 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,920 But then if you see an older woman and a younger man, you're 85 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,560 like, damn, that bitch still got it. 86 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,960 So I feel like there was Princess. 87 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,920 They're like, yes, some men are creepy and weird, but then 88 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,880 again, some men actually know how to treat women. 89 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,960 And it's not the men ranging from 20 to 40 years old because 90 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,400 these mother fuckers need help. And I feel like people want to 91 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,760 date older people because they're more stable, they're 92 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,800 more secure, they're more maybe financially aware. 93 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,920 They can teach you things, they can show you things. 94 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:30,480 As far as open marriages go, I'm not against them, but I feel 95 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,200 like every marriage has its own limitations. 96 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,720 So to just put them all in a category as open is kind of a 97 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,840 open-ended umbrella term. You know, like Bunny has stated 98 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:46,040 before, like yes, we're in an open marriage, but no, we're not 99 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,480 individually out here fucking other people. 100 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,760 Like it's either him and me together and we both have the 101 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,040 freedom to, you know, look at other people. 102 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,800 But there is a conversation that will be had if someone's going 103 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,720 independently into the bedroom. Not saying it's not approved, 104 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,400 but I'm saying that, you know, there are boundaries with that. 105 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,080 I think when people hear the term open marriage, they 106 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:14,560 instantly think negative because their own jealousy and control 107 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:18,240 issues could never do that. So they're very judgmental to 108 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,920 people that are doing that. I'm in a few like swinger groups 109 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,160 on Facebook and man, there's a lot of people in there that are 110 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:30,160 very much like, I know I'm the frog and my wife is the queen. 111 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:34,000 Look at my wife. We love you to look at my wife, 112 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,560 but I don't know why everyone in the lifestyle community in my 113 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:43,680 opinion, has a really hot wife and then they're not always 114 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,440 attractive. Like that's what I feel like 115 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,240 about the swinger like lifestyle community. 116 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:54,120 As far as Polly goes, I feel like Polly people, from what 117 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:59,280 I've seen in my experience, has a range of either commitment 118 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:02,760 issues or jealousy issues on their end and they like multiple 119 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,400 people to fulfill their needs because they're not fulfilling 120 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,280 their own needs within. I just don't think there's 121 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:13,560 someone who needs 10 partners and calls that like normal. 122 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:20,240 I think that you need therapy. Can we please name this episode? 123 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,600 I think that you need therapy. Look, I'm not judging you if you 124 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:27,320 need 10 partners, but I think a Poly relationship should be like 125 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,320 a throuple or like maybe four people at maximum. 126 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,920 But this whole like. Four people like all like, 127 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,600 romantically involved and emotionally involved. 128 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,960 Yeah, and they live together and split bills. 129 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,560 Have you not seen this? What in the I have never seen a 130 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,360 four Pi. I've seen a throuple. 131 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,520 I have never seen a fucking quadruple. 132 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:55,680 Well, I have. That is, that is a lot. 133 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:00,160 I think this economy is pushing people from monogamy into 134 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,760 polyamory because they need more than two people to pay bills. 135 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:09,800 I also think too that people can be like, and I, I think that it 136 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,560 can vary depending on partners too, that like that would be 137 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,000 something that you're interested in or whatever. 138 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,120 And I think it just has to do with the individual 139 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:22,720 relationships and dynamics. And I that's just me personally. 140 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:28,680 Yeah, I think there's a lot going on that works for other 141 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:32,120 people right now, but I do think there's things that are trendy 142 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:36,080 and kind of like a fad, and I feel like being Polly is a fad 143 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,120 right now. Yeah, I could see. 144 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,400 The go. I didn't know. 145 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,919 Not one person, Polly. Did you? 146 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,920 How long ago? Ten years ago. 147 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:51,600 I definitely did. Really, I'm I didn't ever know 148 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,440 anyone until the last like five years. 149 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,400 No, I had I had AI won't name drop them. 150 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:04,200 I was about to be like, hey, no, I I have a friend who she and I 151 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,240 were friends and, and she was married, but I had no idea that 152 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,720 they were interested in that lifestyle. 153 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,840 And then they ended up getting a girlfriend and they married her. 154 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,400 Like they both married her. They were all equally involved 155 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,200 in the relationship. She ended up having a kid with 156 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,120 the husband and even though they're all not together 157 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,720 anymore, like they Co parent and whatever and like I, I think 158 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,000 that they all still live together, but they're not 159 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,360 together anymore. And that was something that she 160 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,800 was super like my family knows about this. 161 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,760 This is something that we're super interested in. 162 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,400 I saw that dynamic work really well for them. 163 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,800 They have, there's a lot of different kids there. 164 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,920 Both women took on like different roles inside of the 165 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,720 household. So like, even though they were 166 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:49,440 both the wives, they had their individual relationships with 167 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,600 each other and then we're like a group unit. 168 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,040 I thought that was cool for them. 169 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,840 Like I, I, I think that like that dynamic was good, but then 170 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:04,160 you do, they did like get jealousy and whatever because 171 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:08,480 you're, you know, I think that maybe something sounds fun. 172 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,680 But then when things start to become work and like when you're 173 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,920 in like a relationship and your emotions and things are 174 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:19,040 involved, like I I can only imagine it's hard to communicate 175 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,600 those things with two different people. 176 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,200 It's hard with just one different person. 177 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,040 But if you have like real big life events and stuff that 178 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,320 happen like those really test a relationship. 179 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,960 And if you have to hold that together with more than one 180 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:37,960 other person and you know, yeah, I just, it didn't work for them. 181 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,440 I haven't seen, I haven't seen a successful polyamorous 182 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,280 relationship that lasts long term. 183 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:48,120 What about like being Mormon is that is like being Poly kind of 184 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,320 a spin off from being Mormon? No, there's a difference. 185 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:56,080 So polyamory and polygamy. Polygamy is when it has a 186 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,280 religious purpose behind it is my understanding. 187 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,560 And polyamory is just when it's a multiple partner dynamic. 188 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:08,240 So polygamist can be polyamorous, but the polygamy 189 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:12,520 part is the religious part. And there's also different types 190 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,400 of there's different types of Mormons that have different 191 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,720 belief systems. And so there are like you do I 192 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,480 forget, I know there's fundamental Mormon and there's 193 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:26,200 different types of Mormon. And some of them are OK with 194 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:30,760 like having multiple wives and there's and then there's others 195 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:34,760 who like they do drink or smoke weed or whatever and they're not 196 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,880 super by the Bible where that's like sinning. 197 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,360 So there's just a bunch of different branches. 198 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,120 Well, the more you know you, all the more you know. 199 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:51,120 Let's move on. Do you believe love and 200 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,880 commitment have to go hand in hand? 201 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,720 No, I think that you can love somebody that you're not 202 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,520 committed to or love somebody that you're not with, I think 203 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:08,960 and I mean. I feel like in order for me to 204 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,040 be in love with you, you need to we need to have commitment. 205 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,000 Yeah, but that's the but the question isn't be in love with. 206 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,280 The question is just love. Yeah, but I'm just saying my 207 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,840 perspective is if I'm in love with you, I want commitment. 208 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,800 If I just love you, I'll probably wish you well over 209 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,400 there. But that's what I'm saying. 210 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,360 I mean, that's that's how I take that. 211 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:35,440 Do you think society has brainwashed us to believe that 212 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,760 being monogamous is the only way for a relationship to work? 213 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:47,160 No, I think that I have that opinion just off of like being 214 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:52,600 inside of relationships and seeing at least what what would 215 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,560 work to me. I and, and having the examples 216 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:59,320 of, like I said, seeing people in these other relationship 217 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,160 dynamics that are not just a two party system. 218 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:06,840 I just don't like see that as something that ends up being 219 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:11,600 beneficial long term to people. I've never seen a fucking old 220 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,120 couple that's like, Oh yeah, the four of us have been together 221 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,200 since 62. You know, like you just don't 222 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,440 see that. So real life experience would 223 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:23,440 tell me that that's probably a temporary fad moment. 224 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,440 And and for the majority, I'm sure there are relationships 225 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,240 where that's worked long term and I sound ignorant, but for 226 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:34,720 the majority, I don't think any of us have seen a dynamic other 227 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,760 than monogamous that's been a long term. 228 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,440 Does that mean like if you're being, that means like you're 229 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:45,880 staying with your one person and like that's your commitment, 230 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,400 right? Yeah, just like a like. 231 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,160 Like a two party fucking system. Yeah. 232 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,880 Perfect. I think that once you start 233 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:59,600 adding in another fucking person there's that's going to be a 234 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,160 really fucking difficult dynamic if you do that. 235 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,120 Cause I've seen a lot of married couples like bring in a person 236 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,960 and then bring it that person in as a girlfriend. 237 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:14,480 And then I've seen that person try to like, come between the 238 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,960 partnership that was already there, like that's what I 239 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,920 personally witnessed, and my friendships that have brought in 240 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,960 a third party. I know we talked about like my 241 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,560 sexual orientation before, but I had a boyfriend and a girlfriend 242 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,120 at once, which is ironic 'cause now I can't date anyone but I 243 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,480 had one of. Them. 244 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,000 At the 29 and they knew about each other, but they did not 245 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,480 like each other. My girlfriend did not like my 246 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,680 boyfriend at all, so she wouldn't hang out with him. 247 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,480 There was no like perks for him whatsoever. 248 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,160 She wouldn't even be around him. See, and that's why I'm like, it 249 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,680 just depends on the relationship. 250 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,880 Like in the past, like I wouldn't have minded. 251 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,280 Like I totally would have been forward. 252 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,200 It would have been no problem. I'd have been like date whoever 253 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,720 the fuck you want to date. Like I'd have been completely 254 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,640 fine with whatever. Now that's not a fucking thing 255 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,160 that's happening. But before like I didn't give a 256 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:11,280 fuck, you know, like I think it depends on like the type of 257 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,520 relationship and and where you are. 258 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,680 What do you mean like before with your husband? 259 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,800 Yeah. You wouldn't let him go have a 260 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,720 girlfriend. Yeah, a 1000%. 261 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,280 I wouldn't have. I I wouldn't have cared. 262 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,560 But now your new man off limits. There's no fucking way. 263 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,160 Yeah, absolutely. That's because you what? 264 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,000 You're in love with this man, but you weren't in love with 265 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,760 that man. So now we're territorial, but 266 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,120 your husband could get the business in these streets. 267 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:46,800 Correct. Wow, wow, the more you all know 268 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,720 because no one knew. Thank. 269 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,680 You for acting, asking me a very fucking direct question and 270 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,200 putting me on the spot. So I'm going to ask you your 271 00:15:55,200 --> 00:16:00,160 next question now that we we've thoroughly covered that topic. 272 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,720 Why do you think some relationships that were once 273 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,760 taboo, like interracial marriage, are more accepted now 274 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,640 while others still face judgement? 275 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:17,240 Well people got over interracial marriage and now they're just on 276 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:22,720 a high horse about same sex marriage even though men in 277 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,720 power have been molesting boys forever. 278 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,440 Like in the church, in the youth groups XYZ. 279 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:35,400 But now that it's in people's face and it's quote UN quote 280 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,840 legal to be married in a same sex relationship, I think that 281 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,240 that took the flame off interracial and like brought the 282 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:47,600 torch out towards same sex. So I don't think that it ever, I 283 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,920 think there's always gonna be something that's taboo, 284 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,360 something that's wrong or something that's negative. 285 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:57,360 But instead of worrying about interracial, now it's same sex. 286 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:01,360 So, you know, like in the 60s, no one was going to have a same 287 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,440 sex relationship out in the open. 288 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:09,079 So they were 10 toes down on, you know, segregation or black 289 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:11,359 versus white or whatever it may be. 290 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:17,480 But then as things evolved, now we're 10 toes down on same sex 291 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,880 marriage. So I just believe no matter what 292 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,760 you do in this reality, there's always going to be a cult of 293 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,440 people that don't like it. They're just not going to like 294 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,760 it, whether it's based on religion or preference or values 295 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,880 or morals or whatever they want to say it's based on. 296 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,840 I just think that we swap it. It's this or that. 297 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:42,160 Like people don't realize that they keep us divided like that 298 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:47,040 almost in every generation, no matter what it may be, just for 299 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,880 their power. And I know that a lot of people 300 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,480 have been cycling like the speech in the movie Ants, where 301 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,680 the bugs are like, oh, you know, they can't find out that there's 302 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,040 more of them than us or they'll rebel. 303 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,960 I really think the same sex marriage and the interracial 304 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,960 marriage go hand in hand at keeping us at each other's 305 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,600 throats. Yeah, and it's really like a 306 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,760 pointless thing when you think about all of the different 307 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,760 things that, you know, energy and attention could be focused 308 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,080 too. That's really just like some 309 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:19,160 small fucking potatoes and some low vibrational bullshit. 310 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:25,640 Yes, a next question. Next question. 311 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:32,920 Have you ever had to defend or explain your relationship 312 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:45,960 choices to others? No, I, but I have had to explain 313 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:51,360 or make excuses for shitty behavior, or at least I felt 314 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,840 that I did. And I, I think that one's really 315 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:59,160 difficult and it's, it's like a frustrating position to be put 316 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,840 into where you have to like own up for somebody else's, like the 317 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,680 way that they presented themselves. 318 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,720 Like, I can't think of a situation in which I've acted 319 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,840 towards somebody else in a way that my partner would have to be 320 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,000 like, Oh, sorry about sorry about her. 321 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,080 You know what I mean? Like she was, she said this 322 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,720 going on and it was a difficult day or whatever, but I've had 323 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,440 tons of times in life that I've had to be like, sorry, they're a 324 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,080 fucking douche canoe. You know, they had a really 325 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,760 tough day and didn't need a snack. 326 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,600 I feel like in the past I have definitely had to defend my 327 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,080 relationships before. Really like what? 328 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,480 Like what's a dynamic? Like what does somebody have to 329 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,600 say about your relationship that you would have to defend? 330 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,600 Like they're not the one in the fucking relationship. 331 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:51,280 I just feel like no matter what I've ever done, people have an 332 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,280 opinion on it and I can never. I can never think of a time in 333 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:59,560 my life that people were genuinely just happy for me. 334 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:05,400 Even like family I remember. I had a very quiet boyfriend and 335 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:09,080 everyone seemed to like him. I've heard several people been 336 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,920 like, I really like that guy you dated. 337 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,120 What was his name like? They can't remember his name. 338 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,640 They just know he was like mousy and quiet. 339 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,920 So they like that about him. Like, my family likes people 340 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:24,440 that are like, yes man like, and that's why they butt heads with 341 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,360 me because I'm not a yes man. So I find that when I get a 342 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,640 partner who is a yes man, I kind of bulldoze them. 343 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,520 And that drives a wedge in between us, 'cause I need 344 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,680 someone who's going to be assertive and confident and be 345 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:42,280 able to like, put me in check in a way that's not gonna make me 346 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:46,280 want to like flip out, you know what I mean? 347 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:50,920 Like I need someone who can like calm me down and be a safe place 348 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:56,120 for me and not motivate me to like take over and get into my 349 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:59,080 masculine energy. So the partners that people 350 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,680 liked kept me in my masculine energy where I made the money. 351 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,760 I did this, I planned that I paid all the bills and they paid 352 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,120 me back whatever it was. And that type of shit just got 353 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,240 old. So I really think that I have 354 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:17,760 had to explain myself in almost any area of my life about my 355 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:21,720 partner choice. And now even more as an adult 356 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,760 because people want to know like, when are you going to have 357 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,200 a kid? When are you going to do this? 358 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,360 When are you going to get married? 359 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:29,960 And I'm like, I hate to break it to you all, but like, not 360 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:35,320 happening right now. Well shit, she doesn't told you. 361 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,600 I think it's funny that people would want you with somebody 362 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:44,120 that is like a quiet and docile person because you, but I, but I 363 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:49,760 also understand too, that I think that people don't expect 364 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,440 for you to find the energy that you're looking for because your 365 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:57,280 personality is so dominant. Like I, I think that other 366 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,920 people may not understand exactly what it is that you're 367 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,920 looking for. And so they just see you with 368 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,800 somebody and they're like, Oh, he's just supporting whatever it 369 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,600 is that she does, but you need to have somebody who does that 370 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,400 in public. But then behind the scenes can 371 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,560 be like, Yo, so had your back back there. 372 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:24,400 But, you know, do you think that love is inherently messy, or do 373 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:29,360 societal rules make it that way? I don't think that love is 374 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:33,560 inherently messy. I think it is all of the boxes 375 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,800 that we expect people to check. Do they have a good job? 376 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,320 Almost foremost, you know, what do they look like? 377 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:44,160 What is their family like? What do they drive XYZ like? 378 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,520 This is what people are focused on before. 379 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,680 Will this person run into a burning building to save my 380 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,040 life? Because it doesn't matter how 381 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,920 much money they have or what kind of car they drive, are they 382 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,280 going to risk their life I love. That you're like, I don't give a 383 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,760 fuck if you have a job, will you risk your life for me, I mean. 384 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,720 I feel like only broke people are looking for people to 385 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,360 provide for them. I I that's all I can say for it. 386 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,040 Like broke bitches want men to provide them with something that 387 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,640 they can't provide for themselves. 388 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,080 So I might be intimidating because I'm not looking for 389 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,680 someone to fix anything for me or do anything for me. 390 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,160 I would rather sit in a cardboard box with someone I 391 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,520 love than sit in a mansion with a man that I hate. 392 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,960 And that's why I will be alone and I do not care. 393 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,800 But I know that attitude intimidates men because most of 394 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,200 them don't have a pot to piss in. 395 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,880 So they do not like the fact that I'm like, you're not, 396 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,800 you're not even emotionally giving me what I want. 397 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,000 Like, I think it's easy to say like, oh, materially you're not 398 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,560 giving me what I want. But it definitely hit someone a 399 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,720 little harder in the nuts when you're like, yeah, you're 400 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,760 emotionally not mature. We're sexually not compatible. 401 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,320 You don't know how to kiss, your breath stinks, You need to brush 402 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,760 your teeth. Y'all even. 403 00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:00,080 Encountering in the natural fucking habitat. 404 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:05,080 Y'all need to learn how to floss and get a tongue scraper because 405 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,640 that's what I'm saying. These are the things I look for 406 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,240 more than can you provide for me. 407 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,680 So I don't think love is naturally messy. 408 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:18,960 I think all of the boxes that society wants us to check makes 409 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:24,880 it messy. You just said that you don't 410 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,320 give a fuck what they have going for. 411 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:27,760 You don't care if they have money. 412 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,520 You don't care if they have the desire to find money or whatever 413 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,520 to grow in life. You said I need you to floss 414 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:41,680 your teeth. I mean a lot of y'all don't 415 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,920 floss and it's it's really apparent. 416 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,320 Oh my gosh, Paige, you are so fucking silly. 417 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,760 All right. Next question, I'm asking you 418 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,000 another question. Do you not get questions? 419 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,760 Gemini feels more comfortable asking the question. 420 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,520 I do. I feel so put on the spot. 421 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,120 You can ask me a question. I I here I am. 422 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,800 Do you think people are secretly fascinated by taboo 423 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,760 relationships, even if they judge them publicly? 424 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,680 Oh yeah, I think it's interesting to like see other 425 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,560 shit, even if it's not something that you're interested in. 426 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:22,600 Like I, I absolutely, there's shows, there's all types of 427 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:23,560 stuff. I love shows. 428 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,960 There's a fucking dude who married, married a fucking 429 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:30,400 Ferris wheel. And like, absolutely, I want to 430 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,720 see how fucking shit I'm, I'm not going to marry a Ferris 431 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,440 wheel, but I want to see the fucking dude who did. 432 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:40,920 Spin off Why does every person on my 600 LB Life have a 433 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:48,480 boyfriend but I don't? You know, what's the bar are 434 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:53,160 they like who are, who are like they have a relationship status, 435 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,680 but like what's the person that they're in the relationship 436 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,760 with? It may be because they're going 437 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:03,080 for what they can get versus you who's like, I can get a lot of 438 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,960 different things. I'm being picky about what I'm 439 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,080 going to, what I'm going to catch and bring home. 440 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,240 Yeah, because I got an expensive palette. 441 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,200 She said I got a caviar lifestyle. 442 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:24,800 Facts. Do you think that media and pop 443 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:29,040 culture have helped or hurt the acceptance of unconditional 444 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:33,000 love? I think media has helped. 445 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,960 I think social media has helped expose people to different types 446 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,440 of relationships, different dynamics and relationships, same 447 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,640 sex couples adopting children, different things like that, that 448 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,720 if you don't know someone who's done that, then you're going to 449 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:51,120 be very biased and judgmental to what that entails and what that 450 00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:53,560 is. So I think social media has been 451 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,880 able to open new doors in a positive light. 452 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,400 But if we're talking like national media, news media, 453 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,200 considering that all media outlets are owned by BlackRock 454 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,400 or Vanguard, I'm going to say that that part of the media has 455 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:12,920 hurt the image because they constantly let you know that 42 456 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:18,520 people died today, but not that 150 people won their battle with 457 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,960 cancer or, you know, or 150 people were rehabilitated into 458 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,520 society after some awful dynamic, right? 459 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,000 Like, they don't ever give you the positivity. 460 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,840 They only give you the negativity. 461 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:36,200 So I would think that social media has helped expose us to 462 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,680 things that we were not normally exposed to, developing a new 463 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,480 impression, a new understanding of it. 464 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,480 But then like news media, traditional media in those ways 465 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:56,760 makes it like negative. See, I think that the social 466 00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:01,440 media thing has helped in a lot of ways with relationships too, 467 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:06,040 because they're like therapists and all types of different 468 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,320 people who go on and talk about different relationship dynamics. 469 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,040 They're now like podcasts about relationships that, you know, 470 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,360 they'll show clips and stuff from their podcasts. 471 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,640 And I think that people are able to start seeing like 472 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:23,040 conversations about, you know, hard times in relationships and 473 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:27,120 things going up and down versus like toxic and abusive 474 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,880 relationship. Because when you've talked about 475 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,480 unconditional love and stuff like that in the past, there has 476 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,800 been the like, you know, when you're married or, or whatever, 477 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,040 you just stick through that no matter what. 478 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,000 And there was a lot of like abuse that people had happened 479 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,960 behind closed doors and all types of things. 480 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,880 And it was so taboo for you to get divorced or talk about these 481 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:52,840 things or, you know, whatever, or rushes to get married, which 482 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,400 is also awful. And being able to have, you 483 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,720 know, those outlets on social media or podcasts or whatever 484 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,280 where people are really talking about things and you can get, 485 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,880 you know, different opinions and different views on things. 486 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,760 I think it's been super healthy in so many ways. 487 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,200 You know, what I think about relationships is that so many 488 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,440 people grew up in a dynamic that they're taught this is right, 489 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,520 this is wrong. And then they just project that 490 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,880 on to every single person. Like they never take a moment to 491 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,800 say, like, does that resonate with me? 492 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,880 Like, is this a problem? And just like, to add to that, 493 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:35,240 there's so many grown people such as myself who constantly 494 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,680 feel like I'm going to get in trouble. 495 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:41,200 I don't know who the fuck is going to punish me but I'm in 496 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,200 trouble. I always feel like I need to do 497 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,960 this or I'm going to get in trouble and I'm like who is 498 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,960 going to punish me? Like what the fuck? 499 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,680 I have to like convince myself that this is my fucking house 500 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:56,200 and I can do whatever I want. But it's hard because your brain 501 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:02,080 can completely project dynamics that are not resonant with who 502 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,560 you really are. And I think that's why so many 503 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:11,160 men are in the closet but have wives and girlfriends but are on 504 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:15,000 grinder and everywhere else trying to be discreet trying to 505 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,120 get fucked buddies. Because my old roommate was gay 506 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,400 and before he came out of the closet and actually told people 507 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,800 he was gay, he had so many secret boyfriends that were 508 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,960 straight men with girlfriends. But because he wasn't out of the 509 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,160 closet they could pretend they were just his friend and no one 510 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,760 knew even though everyone knew. Like, no straight man and a gay 511 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,840 man come home to an apartment and lock the door and go in 512 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:41,240 there for four hours. OK, We have a living room, we 513 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,920 have a dining room. Like, you know what I mean? 514 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,360 Like y'all are doing more than chilling with the door locked in 515 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,960 there. But at the end of the day, I 516 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,800 feel like so many people are afraid because of what their 517 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:55,320 parents, coaches, friends will think, that they would rather 518 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:59,280 manipulate a woman, hurt their partner, make their partner feel 519 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,240 like they're not good enough, they're not deserving or worthy 520 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:06,800 of whatever they're asking because they're lost in the 521 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:12,280 sauce. I think regardless of like what 522 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,400 your sexual orientation is, I think that if you're in a 523 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,640 relationship with somebody and you're doing shit behind their 524 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:22,480 back, regardless, I think that that's like real fucking 525 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,360 cowardly shit. And I think it's completely 526 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,240 unfair to the other person in that dynamic. 527 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:32,280 And it's so like, that's like a blatant disrespect. 528 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:36,360 That's like a I'm going to hold up your time and your feelings 529 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:40,280 and emotions because because I want this over here. 530 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,560 And if that, if that's where somebody ends up being in their 531 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,480 relationship, fine. But like when you decide to be 532 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:51,200 in a partnership with somebody, you owe them the respect to have 533 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:55,120 conversation with them and let them know where you're at so 534 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,040 that they can move accordingly. It's completely unfair for you 535 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:03,040 to keep somebody locked down in something that you know damn 536 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,680 well you're not putting your time, energy and emotion into. 537 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,480 And there are people who, you know, it can be one sided, but 538 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,680 there are so many relationships where both people do it and just 539 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,280 act like it's not fucking happening. 540 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:18,280 And I just think that that's super fucking disrespectful too. 541 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:23,000 But those are the kinds of people who are probably what we 542 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,680 were talking about with like wanting open relationships. 543 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:30,240 And that dynamic probably works. But that's why you would have a 544 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:34,200 conversation instead of going and doing something behind 545 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,880 somebody's back. That's when you have the 546 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,960 conversation of like, this is what I'm wanting. 547 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,600 Is this what you want? Like, that's not a comfortable 548 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:44,520 conversation I have to have. But you fucking need to if 549 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,520 you're going to be out here being with other people. 550 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,360 And that, like, opens you up to, like, bringing shit home. 551 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:54,480 And you know, like I, yeah, I, I think it's super fucking 552 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,440 disrespectful. And honestly, I think that adds 553 00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,080 to the dynamic that was embedded into women about like staying in 554 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:04,320 the marriage for your family, staying in the marriage for your 555 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,000 children. I know people personally and 556 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:12,800 collectively that have straight up said I can't leave my husband 557 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,400 because then my kids would have to leave private school. 558 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,520 Then I'd have to, I don't know, you know what I mean? 559 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:20,800 They're like, I'm a business owner. 560 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,640 I don't know what I would do because there is no one that can 561 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,520 cover for me. There is no one that can do 562 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:26,560 this. You know, there's a lot of 563 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:30,960 people sticking around not for personal reasons, but for 564 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,920 financial reasons and for reasons beyond their control, 565 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,560 like not wanting to change their children's lifestyles, like 566 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,680 schooling or things like that. If somebody's choosing to do 567 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:47,360 that, I don't want to hear the complaints about how ABC and D 568 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,040 isn't going right in their life and there's all these negative 569 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:51,600 things and they can't figure it out. 570 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,240 It's because of the fucking energy that you're keeping 571 00:33:54,240 --> 00:34:00,080 yourself in because you have a fear and lack mindset of making 572 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,680 the decisions that you need to make. 573 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:06,520 Like I, I think that your kid not going to private school and 574 00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:13,239 being in a fucking safe, happy home is where they're like 575 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,840 seeing you thrive and be yourself and whatever is more 576 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,560 important than you know, them going to private school or 577 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,440 seeing two people together that aren't happy. 578 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,840 That's that's from experience by the way. 579 00:34:27,639 --> 00:34:31,080 I mean, I grew up in a split household and my mom and my 580 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,800 stepdad were together for most of my life, but their dynamic 581 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,280 was super toxic. Like I saw for toxicity from 582 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,639 them as a child than anything else. 583 00:34:41,639 --> 00:34:45,000 But you know, I just don't think that parents should involve 584 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,000 their children and shit. Like I was like, I would go to 585 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,920 my dad's and he would be like, your mom uses my child support 586 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,360 money for beer. And then I'd go home and I'd say 587 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,639 back to my mom and she'd be like, your dad does cocaine and 588 00:34:56,639 --> 00:34:58,880 like why are you telling a 7 year old this? 589 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,560 Like so I don't know. I just think that I was exposed 590 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,280 to too much because of my parents hatred towards one 591 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,240 another that has now shaped the way that I feel about 592 00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:13,000 relationships and how independent I am. 593 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,760 Because I never ever want someone to say I bought that for 594 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,040 you. I own that, that's mine because 595 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:23,840 I've heard that before and instead I would refrain from 596 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,880 doing that. Like I know it sounds weird you 597 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,840 all, but if I get into a relationship, I'm not selling my 598 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,320 house. We're not living together. 599 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,080 If we're not together for two full years without living 600 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,480 together, then then I made the right choice. 601 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,720 But in two years, if we're together and it's working, OK, 602 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,360 I'm not saying they can't stay over. 603 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,480 I'm not saying I won't go to their house, but we are not 604 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,520 living together. It just that that's just not it. 605 00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:48,920 I think people live together nowadays way too soon because of 606 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,800 financial reasons and this generation, and then they get 607 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,240 trapped in something, then they finance things, they can join 608 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:59,040 finances and then they're stuck and that's unhealthy. 609 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,920 I don't think you're ever stuck. I think that you can make 610 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,400 choices and decisions inside of partnership. 611 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,240 And I think that it might be a little bit messy, but if you 612 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,040 decide that you're parting ways on something, you fucking figure 613 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,800 that shit out and it it gets figured out one way or another. 614 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,920 Two year. I mean, that works for you. 615 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:22,880 I like, how do you know if you don't live with somebody? 616 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,520 Like what if you're with them for two years and you haven't 617 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,120 lived with them? And then you start to live with 618 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:33,160 them and you're like, Oh my God, your habits, like, I, I don't 619 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,360 know, Paige, two years beforehand is a lot of time to 620 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:36,720 fucking invest. She didn't hear it. 621 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,840 She's like, absolutely not. This is a basic requirement. 622 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,840 I have lived with every man almost that I have dated in the 623 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:46,160 last 10 years. I have lived. 624 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,440 Really. Yeah, like serious 625 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,800 relationships. Yeah, basically besides 1. 626 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,880 And I will tell you right now, there are men that will go to 627 00:36:55,880 --> 00:37:00,560 work all week, still buy an Xbox and not pay bills or think that 628 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,360 things like trash bags and paper towels and toilet paper just 629 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,640 come with the house. I guess that's just that just 630 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,880 with the house, I have dealt with so much shit that like, at 631 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:12,360 the end of the day, I personally am never uprooting my 632 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,560 foundation. I moved all the way from the 633 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:18,760 city to the country for a man before thinking like it's got to 634 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,120 be better. Like he doesn't do all these 635 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,880 things, he has all this stuff. Well, no, it wasn't. 636 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,520 No it wasn't. He flipped that switch so 637 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,760 fucking quick. I lived there for three months 638 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,560 and moved my ass straight back. And in that year I had moved 639 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,360 three times and my friends were like, we're not helping you move 640 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,400 ever again. You had three times this year. 641 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:43,640 Bye. Wow, on that. 642 00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:50,560 We got card 33 for awareness and I love it because I was just 643 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,120 looking at your tattoo while you were talking earlier. 644 00:37:54,000 --> 00:38:04,880 Your triples, you have 333. OK, so COD 33, the sign is Leo 645 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:10,800 love a little fire. The gift is cognizance and your 646 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:15,360 shadow is a lack mindset. I said lack mindset during this 647 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,280 podcast today. So as you begin to wake up to 648 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,680 your true essence, you also witness your patterns and your 649 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:26,040 perceived victimhood, your own participation in your 650 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:32,600 relationships, and this way you tune into awareness of your 651 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,480 humanness. In the process of accepting the 652 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:39,480 gift, your suffering may seem to heighten as you are present to 653 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:43,240 your unconscious patterning. But this road to unadulterated 654 00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:46,160 self-awareness is both necessary and rewarding. 655 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,960 From here, mindfulness blossoms, and you transform your 656 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:53,560 relationships and your own world in general through conscious 657 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:58,000 thought, word, and action. The 33rd Shadow examines 658 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,560 suffering through the lens of our relationships. 659 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,400 When we're living half asleep or unconsciously, we might see that 660 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,720 relationships happen to us as if we're not active participants in 661 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:11,920 their unfolding. The lower frequency state breeds 662 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,040 codependent relationships complete with victim narratives 663 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:19,120 and combativeness or avoidance. We forget our inherent wholeness 664 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,080 and attempt to fill a perceived deficiency by seeking refuge in 665 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,360 the other. When we take a step back, we 666 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,400 have the opportunity to re evaluate our position and see a 667 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:32,200 new expansive message that this relationship may hold for us. 668 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,800 Your themes are wakefulness, wholeness, gratitude, and 669 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:40,120 relationships. And that's fucking nuts how that 670 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,760 card just into what we were saying. 671 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:45,400 That's fucking dope as hell dude. 672 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,200 But based on what Jim and I said, you're never stuck. 673 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:57,120 You're literally, you're never stuck you in whatever version of 674 00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,720 life that you're in. It would be a difficult decision 675 00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:03,680 but if you decided tomorrow I'm going to fucking cash out my 676 00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:07,280 retirement and I'm going to move to Fiji. 677 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,360 Maybe that's not something that you choose to do, but that is 678 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,720 something that you could actually do. 679 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:16,000 You can literally do anything that you want to fucking do. 680 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,000 You're never stuck. You're making the choice to live 681 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,840 whatever reality you're living. Side note, as someone I know 682 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,880 just posted on Facebook that they have wrapped up all their 683 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,520 business, sold all their belongings and booked a one way 684 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,120 ticket to Thailand and they're not coming back. 685 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,880 There you go, folks. And that's all. 686 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,800 Have a great. Bye, see. 687 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,480 You next time in Candy Land. Uh huh. 688 00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:47,720 Yeah, you said. She's so sweet, man. 689 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,600 Come on. Like a rapper. 690 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:51,960 Like a lollipop. Lollipop. 691 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,280 Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop.